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i'm so excited for this episode i got to

1:24

speak with other benjamin lava do we a good

1:26

discussion and then he read from

1:28

his book when we cease to understand

1:30

the world think , the gonna like

1:32

it on

1:34

june merced

1:55

what's your writing routine like i

1:57

tend to write every day that's that's

2:00

monday to sunday of

2:02

, like like most writers i

2:04

have day job so i would would

2:07

would steal away from the offseason

2:09

during coffee break some lunch break so

2:11

i would pretend that i was working on something

2:15

and do my own writing it's

2:17

sort of a continuous process for

2:19

me it's not him

2:22

he doesn't really stop i have very

2:24

hard time something which you

2:26

have to do i ,

2:28

from the exact opposite opposite

2:31

the i couldn't for the life me put word

2:33

on word it , me

2:37

i only publish my first book i was about

2:39

twenty nine something like that and to be

2:41

a long to to finish my

2:43

second book and after that i

2:45

sort of started writing and now

2:48

i see like cannot stop because

2:50

my writing changed i think that's the

2:52

main thing i still believe that right was

2:54

a create his thing and it's

2:56

not like that for me anymore it is more

2:58

akin to walking and

3:00

picking stuff up off the ground it's up

3:03

it's it's ,

3:05

investigation for me

3:07

so when i did that the everything

3:09

changed for me and have very different relationship

3:12

two litters of because of that i see

3:14

this as sort of discovery

3:16

process know i'm know i'm to look

3:18

for things that are already in the world

3:21

and not trying to squeeze them out of

3:23

myself

3:24

it's interesting because you relationship with language

3:26

sounds more like how i used to refer writing

3:28

as though it was something language i was wrestling

3:30

with so now you're in this

3:32

place investigation it

3:34

seems like you have this steady

3:36

routine well do sleep

3:38

well

3:39

well a lie said i slept well

3:42

my wife would probably last herself

3:44

to death because i have

3:46

i struggle with insomnia i

3:50

i , eating well when

3:52

when we got together we've been together

3:54

for quite while now and our

3:56

relationship was really tease me many ways

3:59

i was i before that and

4:01

i met her she the night is so

4:04

i get so much inspiration

4:06

from her but not just the ,

4:08

of inspiration the people think you get

4:10

to know i'm i'm talking about daily

4:12

things just like

4:14

i was talking on phone to one my friends last

4:16

night about he's living in brazil

4:18

my book came out in brazil he was really happy

4:20

because when i met him we

4:22

were like two young writers who couldn't

4:25

fucking right word sam you know them

4:27

look discuss use you when you don't

4:30

write you feel the necessity

4:32

to leaves a writer lee life

4:35

and it's necessary but it's also really

4:37

pathetic it's it's

4:39

sad i think you know what talking

4:41

about i know exactly you're talking about the

4:43

air know it's it's and then i was

4:45

talking to him we'll , about

4:47

books and into to and and my

4:49

wife started making fun me because east

4:51

he called out wealth tell him what you're doing right

4:53

now and what was doing was clean

4:55

it up i was cleaning the the

4:57

living room and cleaning the kitchen

4:59

and you know i was like like all

5:01

least small details is eating

5:04

well it's again i only started

5:06

treating my insomnia because we had kid and

5:08

like i couldn't help because i was always

5:11

does falling down from lack of lack

5:13

so yeah eating wells

5:15

sleeping well being in loving

5:17

relationship think a fundamental

5:20

things if want to actually write

5:22

for a for for long time and

5:24

not kill yourself in the process yeah some

5:26

he is something i've struggled with for many

5:28

years and things changed for me

5:30

when i met my partner and she has

5:32

two daughters and i found

5:35

that i couldn't help her much either when

5:37

i was exhausted all the time cause i would

5:39

i would push myself to

5:41

help out and then

5:43

all of sudden them taken to napster

5:46

in day and i'm also trying write and

5:48

i'm trying to the job

5:49

it doesn't work it's i did one of

5:51

the hardest things for anybody who does

5:53

anything creative this too is to is

5:55

to not lose that the

5:58

person that you feel when have the younger

6:00

when it is sort something you want to

6:02

become and the process of becoming

6:04

a writer to me the

6:06

, a sort of transformation

6:08

he does it really asks you to

6:11

look at things defense and for that you

6:13

do have to mess with your head and in many

6:15

ways ways don't believe

6:17

that you can be writer and just go

6:20

around with the same operating

6:23

system that everyone has no

6:25

but everyone has should also be very

6:27

wary should be very

6:29

careful the could living

6:32

good life is fundamental

6:35

the i don't believe in his whole

6:37

crash and burn a

6:40

attitude towards i know

6:42

i do believe you have to burn

6:44

but

6:49

the night gardener is a strange text

6:52

because it was written a long

6:54

after i finished the book i

6:56

had already handed it in

6:58

it it actually already been

7:00

published in in germany which is

7:02

the first country that this book came out

7:05

in and , was invited

7:07

to presented in europe

7:10

and since and like speaking front of audiences

7:12

i thought i'd write something the read

7:15

out loud and , sat

7:17

down and they started and i didn't want to do

7:19

those standard takes takes

7:21

which you present your own work

7:24

own and i under strange

7:26

phrase came into phrase head about

7:29

of my vegetable played i

7:31

was living in in the mountains of the time

7:33

and it just popped into my head i started writing

7:36

it's and the text that was supposed the be presentation

7:39

and that is why it's sort of

7:41

recapitulates many of the seems

7:43

of the book that that is why it has

7:45

that structure where it's sort

7:48

retelling many of the ideas that are

7:50

that are presented in the book and

7:53

when i sinister that thought well what

7:56

is the seems like a sitting

7:58

around and like new weird to

8:00

end is weird book with and

8:02

included it in all in all versions

8:05

except for the germans which of course he didn't like

8:07

it because said said are you

8:09

adding this sort of semi autobiographical

8:12

text that the end of a

8:14

book said already said a

8:17

essay that has some fiction

8:19

too short stories and short novella

8:22

but since that is very much in spirit

8:24

of what i like to do i decided to included

8:26

and and they finally gave up when

8:28

the paperback came out so

8:31

it's strange this takes is not part

8:33

the german edition but it's out in

8:35

all other languages slumber

8:37

slumber reading from the made gardener

8:50

it is a vegetable plague spreading

8:53

from tree to tree unstoppable

8:56

invisible a hidden rot

8:59

unseen unseen

9:01

by the eyes of the world wasn't

9:05

born of deep dark earth was

9:07

it brought to the surface by

9:10

, mouth of the tiniest creatures

9:12

fungus perhaps

9:15

no he , faster

9:17

than spores spores breeds

9:20

inside tree roots buried

9:22

in there wouldn't hearts and

9:25

ancient crawling evil can

9:29

it can , was fired

9:33

fired it up and watch it watch

9:36

towards although sickly towards

9:39

first and giant angst

9:41

that has that the that of time vows

9:44

that trunk wounded from

9:46

of thousand incentivize dying

9:51

now disease ,

9:53

dying said as said

9:55

stone then

9:57

it burns and

10:00

the flames reach up the skies

10:02

for , alone it will consume

10:05

the world world

10:07

or the death of others nurtured

10:10

by all the green grass turned grey

10:12

right

10:14

now the the

10:18

country grow

10:31

who

10:34

i met him in the mountains in

10:37

a small town will few people

10:39

lives saved during the summer months i

10:43

was walking at night and i saw him in

10:45

his garden digging my

10:48

dog crawled under the bushes

10:51

ran , him the dark the

10:53

short white flash in the moonlight

10:57

the man bent over rubbed her

10:59

head went down on one knee

11:01

is my dog offered her belly i

11:04

, he said was okay

11:07

but he loved dogs dogs

11:09

asked him if was guarding it guarding

11:13

yes he said it's the

11:15

best time for it the

11:17

plants are asleep and they don't feel as

11:19

much suffer , when moved

11:21

around around patient eater

11:23

raised we should

11:25

be wary of plants when

11:28

was boy there

11:30

was was oak of

11:32

which he had always been afraid his

11:35

grandmother hander self

11:38

from one of it's branches but

11:40

then he told me he had been

11:42

a healthy tree strong than

11:44

vigorous while ,

11:47

some sixty years later later

11:49

huge bulk was written

11:51

with parasites and rotting from

11:53

the inside so much

11:55

so that knew that it

11:57

would soon have to be removed the

12:00

towered above his house and

12:02

threatened to crush it if it came down

12:06

and yet he could not bring himself to sell

12:08

the gargantuan thing for

12:11

it was one of the few remaining specimens

12:13

of what used to be an old growth forests that

12:16

cover the land where house

12:18

and whole town now stood dog

12:20

foreboding and beautiful the

12:23

pointed at the tree then

12:25

the dog i can see nothing

12:27

favorites massive shadow it

12:30

will have dead he said rotten

12:33

yet still alive and growing that

12:36

nested inside it's trunk and

12:38

humming birds said on the ruby

12:41

red flowers of parasitic

12:43

plans which crowned it's highest benches

12:46

the hermaphrodite just eric's

12:48

current bosses known locally

12:51

as skyn trial three

12:53

or need be which his

12:55

grandmother used to cut back every year

12:58

only to see it regrow with

13:00

stronger than said blooms

13:04

why she killed herself i still don't know

13:07

they , told me she had committed suicide

13:10

and was family secret i was

13:12

young young more than five

13:14

six of of but later

13:16

decades later when my daughter

13:18

was born my nana my

13:21

nanny the woman who raised

13:23

me while my own mother went to work

13:25

told me your grandmother

13:28

she said she handles cells

13:30

from that brands that night it

13:32

was awful there you live

13:36

we could not cut down till the police arrived

13:39

at least that is what they told us don't

13:41

cut her down lever there that

13:44

your father could not leave hanging like that

13:47

he climbed tree high on higher

13:50

no , understood how see a time

13:52

so high high remove the

13:54

news from next she

13:56

fell through the branches landed

13:58

with a thud your

14:00

father started hacking away at trunk with his

14:02

acts but his father your granddaddy

14:05

would not let him he said

14:07

that she had love that tree she always

14:09

had the athena grow

14:12

the ended and nurtured it pruned

14:14

and wanted it and fussed

14:17

over every tiny detail the

14:20

stayed there and it's still there the

14:22

would go to have come down sooner

14:25

the later

14:32

well what helped me and my twenties when didn't

14:34

think there is a whole lot sir bernard crash anymore

14:37

at the time may i felt i was lot more nihilistic

14:39

so it sounds like there was

14:41

some a real healing for

14:43

both of us in and positive ways

14:46

it in our interpersonal relationships which

14:48

is fundamentally changed your art so

14:51

, let's take this into totally different place

14:53

where did you think think

14:56

obama read your book when it's

14:58

on the new york times top ten lists

15:00

the year cause year that's

15:02

not why you're doing this but

15:04

what'd you think of that well

15:07

i had him that well a very negative

15:09

reaction i

15:11

guess

15:13

i hadn't already made a pact

15:15

with myself that i was gonna do this

15:17

for the rest my life regardless

15:20

of results and

15:22

i was also writing the

15:26

book that i wrote before this was was book

15:28

that had no ,

15:30

no central theme was did have seemed

15:32

very very obscure it's

15:34

it's a book about the void and

15:36

and it's it's ways of looking into

15:38

the into and

15:40

to look you can't look directly at

15:42

it so sort so started studying

15:45

the lives of mistakes and scientists

15:47

and artists trying to sort of surround

15:51

the void so you could actually begin to

15:53

get feeling did

15:55

you notice of flinging arrows

15:58

into it you know don't you never going to so

16:01

what would that what i mean by that is that

16:04

i consider writing

16:06

a in a married

16:08

monastic way i think this

16:10

is i still still

16:13

be naive but i still believe

16:15

that this the path

16:17

you walk down in the search

16:19

foods foot deep truth and

16:22

if you take that path new really developed

16:24

a sort of the

16:26

difference who external

16:29

opinions because

16:32

i never expected any type of recognition

16:34

i'm i'm living in to live this to

16:36

i can't be farther from from the rest

16:38

the world so intimate when it

16:41

happened and oldest some i

16:44

don't like i guess i didn't like

16:46

it's that's the truth my first reaction

16:48

was very negative i didn't like

16:50

the over i'd

16:52

i didn't know that the new york

16:54

times did a a a as

16:56

an end of the year list because

16:58

list don't read those things i've

17:01

things i've read the new

17:03

york times book review i

17:06

just wrote piece of them so i

17:08

shouldn't be saying this but ,

17:11

i never read never i don't read

17:13

book reviews i don't i try and

17:16

i also did not know that obama

17:18

did a list

17:20

in in in not because and

17:22

and also you know i'm from teenage so like

17:24

we have a personal close relationship

17:26

with any us with know at

17:29

man these are not literary

17:31

matters they not just spectacle

17:34

and while i'm not i mean i'm not

17:36

stupid i am grateful for the

17:38

publicity and another of of

17:40

of realize some from from

17:43

the way that people have reacted that should

17:45

be more they should be happy about

17:47

it than that and data and that it's important that

17:49

he's a great reader important is

17:51

very good taste and

17:53

sub is

17:55

kind it's kind dismissive of other people

17:58

to just say that you should enjoy because

18:01

it is it is spectacle mostly

18:04

the and it it doesn't have anything to

18:06

do with pax that you made for yourself

18:08

and to some extent i

18:11

can understand though want

18:14

to keep this in

18:16

turn a world internal because

18:18

you've already sort of said this

18:21

external world you are taking things up

18:23

and you're collecting them but

18:25

your in toner world right now is just

18:29

in a the

18:31

very special place that

18:33

took long time

18:35

at least a long enough time to

18:37

get to and something that

18:39

you are enjoying though

18:42

something like that in a way

18:44

does kind of threaten the internal

18:46

world that you're trying protect absolutely

18:48

yes and and not only that i think

18:50

people who anybody

18:53

who's in love with books grew

18:55

up thinking

18:58

that they're

18:59

the most important thing in the world and

19:02

knowing that nobody gives flying

19:04

fuck about them they don't just don't

19:06

they don't care i don't know what what it's like

19:08

in states but in my in my school

19:10

i was there were two people who

19:12

but i would win the literary contest

19:14

every single year because there were only

19:16

two people who wrote in the entire

19:19

like school so

19:22

would always the me and this other this other

19:24

girl and she

19:26

became girl writer to and and so

19:28

you fall love with somebody isn't that with

19:31

something that almost nobody cares about

19:33

and and then and then when you decide to do

19:35

it is , takes

19:37

that i think again know think have

19:39

to think about these things in terms

19:41

of of of monastic discipline

19:44

of our of us and you have to sign

19:46

things that have worth in themselves

19:49

and their very hard to find and

19:52

when it when i'm it when

19:54

that that that success and recognition

19:56

came well

19:59

i'm i'm for the to so

20:01

out of it's not like it's at the beginning

20:04

of my career know and

20:06

so now the problem becomes how

20:11

to keep on going how to

20:13

and not lose that space

20:16

if find something that is with has

20:18

worth it can actually look

20:20

at the stuff that you right and you

20:22

and and and the writing in itself

20:25

you that you need it

20:28

becomes a thing in itself that

20:30

isn't very precious and

20:33

precious and and and is something that should be guided

20:36

all the things that are the

20:38

, the opinions of critiques book

20:40

sales are people

20:42

who have famous and it's not like

20:44

i am against everything know

20:46

my my ah i

20:49

there are other people who have read the book them

20:51

and whereby the have gotten in touch with that

20:53

mean the world to me

20:55

they do i i was ill

20:57

as as have had the opportunity to

20:59

speak with people , truly

21:01

admire like like adam curtis

21:04

at the who is someone

21:06

who i copy from all the time

21:08

and he read the full pay psyched couldn't

21:10

believe it so so it's not

21:12

like i don't care about anybody's opinion

21:15

but you have to be very careful who you

21:17

who you give the sort of a

21:19

piece of we are hard to and

21:23

and us president for me however

21:25

wonderful you know i'm more i think

21:27

he's a very special human being but still the

21:29

president the united states it's very loaded

21:31

very he i would it would be

21:33

problematic having for anyone to to

21:36

try and get validation from

21:38

president from as president

21:41

leader it's your

21:43

validation should should come from within

21:45

yourself and your immediate

21:47

family the people who your true you're caring

21:49

for is a lot

21:51

more discussion ahead and be right back

21:54

right

22:03

no hello the day to day to

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six , it's radio lab

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sick melee listen

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this pride everyone's coming through for the

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suffer project on short

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your settling for prize using the hosted

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you to prize chilean company

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brewer for prize an you to short visit

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you to backed from backed launches

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growing up i didn't have very many opportunities

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cut my father i definitely tried would

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email him a journal i would do specific things

22:54

are trying to them to tell stories there's a really

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cool service now it's called story worth it's

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online service will help you and your dad

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stories writing our for lit tv

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23:58

welcome back he was the story bound

24:01

and , other benjamin lava to and we're discussing

24:03

this book when we ceased understand

24:06

world

24:11

what you're talking lot about the internal world is

24:13

important to me at our older year is

24:15

your child wow

24:16

he turned eleven in in in

24:18

the couple of months as exciting

24:21

my

24:22

step daughters are six and

24:24

seven and feel like they're going

24:26

on eleven amazon points

24:29

and they're so skilled

24:31

at sitting down at a piano

24:34

and feeling it out or

24:37

picking up book and just being curious about

24:39

it or wanting to play school

24:41

and they play the teacher the and

24:44

yeah i've learned so much about

24:46

that internal world through

24:49

them in ways that have reminded

24:51

me of what writing was like for me

24:53

as child that's an interesting

24:56

process in once

24:58

you let that in you are

25:00

reminded parts of yourself

25:02

that you just sort of forgot

25:04

about along the way as you were developing

25:09

as you said your daughter's eleven and

25:11

you say you're forty two you're

25:13

at these really interesting ages

25:15

and both you realize where the

25:18

lot momentum is picking up and

25:20

so what is ceiling immediate

25:23

for you that this

25:25

book that out in the world

25:27

and it's blinds other people

25:29

now so

25:32

how is writing finding you this

25:36

week or next week will

25:39

i am going to have

25:41

after i finish the book

25:43

and when i saw the

25:46

publisher that were picking up i

25:48

realized that it would

25:51

they would have an impact just because

25:53

of quality of the publishers especially

25:56

in tastes like italy and germany

25:58

so i i started thing

26:01

i've i've written for books after

26:03

that one sort i didn't want

26:05

any , of success to i

26:08

didn't want to have to worry about

26:10

the finishing your next book

26:12

thing know so what i did

26:14

was right really fast and i wrote for

26:16

of them them

26:18

one of them was worthless one

26:20

of them was an insane idea i

26:23

see some other person's book

26:25

of you can believe it on i never thought about

26:27

copyright or anything like that i just thought

26:29

was a good idea which

26:31

which and then

26:33

our so i just finished a book

26:36

that i can actually published so

26:38

i handed it in so

26:40

since i've been writing nonstop for the for four

26:42

years it was really that really moment to

26:44

really that then sort of brigades

26:47

get in touch with what we've we've been

26:49

talking before know lead

26:52

pull something out from inside

26:54

you gold go quiet

26:56

again which is they

27:00

feel that it's that's what our i am where

27:02

i am right now i'm not writing

27:04

and when i don't write i

27:07

, the worst person than you

27:09

can imagine like my family

27:12

can send me because his

27:14

oldest raging mental energy the have

27:16

nowhere to go and i had to re

27:18

like i don't know ice i i

27:20

i train with with japanese sword

27:23

and and do motorola it's and have been

27:25

doing lot of bats and have been have

27:27

been trying to find

27:29

other things to do with my mind good

27:31

because it's it's for it's hard not to

27:33

run

27:37

three the

27:41

next morning went for a walk

27:43

in woods with my seven year old daughter and

27:45

, found the bodies of to said

27:48

dogs dogs had been

27:50

had i

27:52

have never seen anything never it

27:55

i knew the bloody corpses of these on

27:57

highway crushed unrelenting

28:00

traffic i

28:02

, seen a dead cat disemboweled

28:06

buy a set of stray dogs and

28:08

even that the next of an unsuspecting

28:11

lamb myself some sources

28:13

bleed to death from the without shows

28:15

that i was staying with who ,

28:18

before south south

28:20

none of those of however group

28:23

came anywhere near the effects of

28:25

pluto when

28:28

a german shepherd buying

28:30

in the middle of forest path his

28:33

mouth gaping dumb swollen

28:36

them blackened turnout

28:38

, times it's normal size

28:41

blood vessels filled to bursting

28:43

point the

28:45

east towards it and told my

28:47

little girl than of ways she

28:49

, not listening and fifth of behind

28:53

behind had faith in the fold of my of

28:56

my out the

28:58

dogs speaking out this straight

29:01

out his abdomen

29:04

and looted straight gases stressed

29:06

is an animated look

29:08

with the belly of pregnant woman look

29:12

whole cadavers seemed ready to explode

29:15

woman spillett some trails all over

29:17

the place but

29:19

what struck me the most was

29:21

the expressions unrelenting

29:23

painful his shoes but

29:27

she was the adam lind he had endured

29:29

that even in this prepared to be

29:31

screaming

29:35

the second

29:38

dog for some fifty yards

29:40

away to the side of the trail

29:43

he didn't in the undergrowth was

29:46

among will cross between bloodhound

29:48

and a beagle the black head

29:50

when a wide body and

29:53

even though he surely die the

29:55

same substance that had kill the shepherd

29:58

the accepted none of the figuring

30:00

effects of the poison were

30:03

it not the flies crawling around his eyelids

30:06

i , imagined that he had merely

30:09

fallen asleep

30:12

we did not know the first dogs ,

30:15

hound hound friend a

30:18

my daughter has played with him since

30:20

with was would

30:22

sometimes work with us or com

30:24

scratching at my com for scrap code

30:28

and passes and

30:30

while she did not cries soon she

30:32

recognized him when we stepped

30:34

out of the forest path and into the clearing

30:36

she broke down i

30:38

had the as hard as i could she

30:41

said she was afraid as

30:43

, was for her own dogs

30:46

the sweetest kindest animal

30:49

kindest have ever met

30:52

why she asked me why

30:54

would they poisoned i

30:57

told her didn't know but

30:59

was probably an accident rat

31:02

poison slug poison there

31:05

are many deadly chemicals used for gardening

31:08

there are many wonderful gardens in this place

31:11

they had probably eaten some poison without

31:13

realizing what it was or

31:16

perhaps they had hundred a rat that

31:18

was itself sluggish have to chewing

31:21

on those tiny wax cubes

31:23

that people place around borders of

31:25

their properties oh

31:28

when did not tell her is

31:30

at this happens every year once

31:33

or twice a year that dogs

31:37

sometimes one sometimes lot

31:39

more that unfailingly

31:42

the beginning of summer and the end of autumn

31:45

the that dogs the

31:48

people who live here year round know

31:50

that is one of them who does the poisoning

31:53

one of their own no one

31:55

knows who he

31:57

or she puts out cyanide them

32:00

for couple of weeks we find carcasses

32:02

around town strays

32:05

mostly there's lots of people

32:07

from the neighboring areas come up the mountain

32:09

road to get rid of their unwanted

32:12

dogs also have

32:14

pets there are couple

32:16

of suspects individuals

32:18

who have made threats in the past there

32:21

is man who lives in the same

32:23

street as we do who

32:26

once told friend of mine that

32:28

i should keep my dog on lead

32:31

the i not know that someone was poisoning

32:33

dogs every summer that

32:37

man lives three houses down from hours

32:39

they have never talk to him i've

32:42

only seen him once or twice

32:44

standing next to his car smoking

32:48

he nods i nod we

32:50

do not talk

32:55

i despair

32:58

at how slowly my garden grows

33:02

the , up in mountains a harsh

33:04

spring and summer is short very

33:06

dry dry the soil in my god

33:09

in his poor does it was built

33:11

on rubbish heap the

33:13

former owner the ,

33:15

who build the cabin and sold it to me me

33:18

to even out the terrain with rebels and

33:20

construction and so

33:22

that every now and then when i dig into

33:24

the ground to plant flowers

33:26

to trees i find cans

33:29

bottle caps and pieces of shredded

33:31

plastic beneath the ground

33:34

there are great number of fertilizers

33:36

i could use that , am

33:38

fond of my trees as they are are

33:41

if they do not grow not their

33:45

roots have nowhere roots go blow

33:48

the same later soil i have managed

33:50

to pile over the rubbish lies

33:52

hard the type play so

33:55

most will remain stunted with

33:58

a strange bonsai beauty but

34:00

stunted nonetheless

34:09

i'm writing in english know

34:11

and i have to translate my new

34:13

book to spanish so that that that's gonna

34:15

take a couple of months to

34:17

the there's always a little bit work and work

34:20

but it's not like it's ,

34:22

that rush you get some some writing

34:25

some writings a new piece

34:27

of tax and just and a just that

34:29

it's a heat for me it is a real chemical

34:32

the i have i on

34:34

that

34:36

the on that i've always said that when you're not

34:38

writing your living

34:39

mortimer something i'm trying to teach the girls

34:42

that boredom is is

34:44

healthy it lot that's where

34:46

you that's

34:48

where you open up think boredom is the pathway

34:50

to com era rate was originally the pathway to consciousness

34:52

whether or not that's true it just feels true

34:54

to me oh , feelings

34:57

or matter on their own terms of truth but but

34:59

want know it the english title

35:02

is different originally was invaded

35:04

or teddy bear and correct knew

35:06

what was the thinking on the change will move

35:09

them the first thing there's there's

35:11

absolutely no good translation for that

35:13

it sounds horrible a terrible major

35:15

a horrible greening it's it's it's

35:18

there's no good translation for it that's

35:20

that's looks that's the short answer

35:22

the longer answer is that it when

35:24

we see some the sand see world was when it was the

35:26

original title of the book in

35:29

heads they the section

35:31

on quantum mechanics if

35:33

, the title of one the of the susan

35:36

new well that's that's in middle of the book

35:39

book then i came up with the final line

35:42

in spanish soon but about the really and

35:44

i thought well that's that's better it's more poetic

35:47

it's less on the on but

35:49

the book has many titles it in in

35:51

in germany's cold the blinding

35:53

light and in in france

35:55

it's called the blinding

35:57

light so called the

35:59

think just as alexander

36:01

growth and declares in the book when

36:03

, have one optic that is that is complex

36:07

it's good to have different

36:09

sets of eyes it's of eyes that it has

36:11

never gonna if it's if it's really

36:14

good in title is

36:16

really good in english it's gonna

36:18

hard to translated into another language

36:20

the same goes the spanish or anything it they've

36:22

it's really one of those titles it should

36:24

only work one language it is hide

36:27

to find a title that can translate

36:29

to others know and ,

36:31

that i'm i'm i'm i'm going

36:34

the other way round because i'm not have been

36:36

rising in english for the past couple years

36:38

now and like them like the text either

36:40

just read i wrote that an english directly

36:43

directly it has different feel from the

36:45

rest of the book and it lets

36:47

you the english language useless you do

36:49

things it's you do to to us people

36:53

hate when it say that because you're supposed to have

36:55

this just joined love for your

36:57

own language but i'd but i'd spanish

37:00

i hate the way sounds the

37:02

clowns class into each

37:04

other all the time there's not enough

37:06

you know synonym since it's hellish to work

37:09

with it's it's really hard to

37:11

produce tax that is clean

37:14

photos it's it's just them it's

37:17

a mess of language but it's

37:19

also much i

37:21

really have a a split brain in that

37:23

sense because i i

37:25

i stopped speaking spanish for about

37:27

seven years when was young and

37:29

i am and to this day i i

37:31

actually prefer to speak english

37:34

i speak with my daughter in english and spanish

37:36

with my friends as well and now

37:38

have done this transition where the last

37:41

who books so i'd written them in english

37:44

the you dream in english yes of course

37:52

the night gardener told me that

37:54

the man who invented modern day nitrogen

37:56

fertilizers a german chemist

37:59

called fits the also

38:01

the first man to create weapon

38:03

of mass destruction namely

38:06

chlorine gas which he

38:08

poured into the trenches the

38:10

first world war

38:14

green gas killed thousands

38:16

and made countless soldiers claw

38:18

at their throats the poison

38:21

boiled inside their lungs rounding

38:23

them in their own vomit and slim while

38:26

his fertilizer which he

38:28

harvested from the nitrogen present

38:30

in the air itself they'd

38:33

hundreds of millions from famine and

38:36

field or current global population

38:40

the day my to gin is

38:42

more than plentiful but

38:44

in centuries past wars

38:46

were fought mobile bird

38:48

bad shit and fees

38:50

ransacked the bones of the egyptian pharaohs

38:53

to steal the nitrogen hidden in their bones

38:57

according the night gardner them

39:00

up with the indians would crush

39:02

the skeletons of the vanquished

39:04

enemies and spread that

39:06

dust on their farms as fertilizer

39:09

the always working in dead of night

39:12

when a trees are fast asleep the

39:16

they believed that some of them danilo

39:19

and the arrow korea the monkey

39:21

puzzle see into

39:23

worries so the

39:25

you his deepest secrets and

39:27

spread them through the said roots to the forest

39:30

the plus tendrils whispered

39:32

to pay much room mycelium ruining

39:35

his standing before the community

39:39

the secret life last expose

39:42

them bad the world the

39:44

man would slowly begin to shrivel

39:47

drying up from the inside out without

39:50

ever knowing why

39:54

five the

39:57

way to small town is built is very

39:59

strange whichever

40:01

road you take it will invariably

40:04

lead you down to small patch of

40:06

woods away and it's lowest

40:08

edge one of the few areas

40:10

that survived the giants fire which

40:13

ravaged the region at the end of the nineteenth

40:15

threatening the existence the town itself

40:18

the fire raged

40:20

until it burned itself out the

40:23

forest that it stood for two

40:25

hundred years disappeared

40:28

in less than two weeks

40:32

it was mostly replanted with time

40:34

and the original native species were all

40:36

last except for this

40:39

tiny miniature wilderness stands

40:42

in stark contrast to the pruned

40:44

hedges and decorative gardens

40:47

that surrounded on all sides

40:51

it have strange magnetic power

40:53

over me told

40:55

me in the leaves me down

40:57

and down towards the old

40:59

path that reaches the lake i've

41:03

spent days walking among the trees

41:05

they're always , alone

41:07

the local seem to avoid the avoid although

41:10

i do not know wise and

41:12

know outsiders the

41:14

rich families who rents cottages for who

41:16

summer months visited

41:18

rarely the , see

41:21

it in passing

41:24

there is a small grotto at it's

41:26

center carved in limestone

41:31

the night gonna tells me there

41:33

used to be a dime plant nursery

41:35

that kept it seeds inside the mouth

41:37

of case perpetual

41:39

darkness it

41:41

is empty these days visited

41:44

now and then by adolescent boys

41:46

and girls who leave their condom

41:48

rappers on the ground the

41:51

tool soil

41:53

toilet paper i have to pick up

41:55

and barry

41:58

the lake lies beyond and

42:00

that small stretch of water is where

42:02

families gather these

42:05

artificial man made whereupon

42:08

than a lake really but it looks

42:10

natural enough for doesn't ducks two nests

42:12

there the red

42:14

tailed hawk pro tools the southern

42:16

side the white

42:19

crane lords over the northern

42:21

swampy a half the

42:23

spring the tiny streams

42:26

that see the reservoir trickle insane

42:29

later they dry up or

42:31

overgrown and disappear

42:34

as if they had never existed the

42:37

lake is not frozen over

42:39

in decades i

42:43

was told that a small child round

42:45

after falling through the ice the last time it

42:47

did back when pinochet

42:49

had just come to power no

42:52

one been able to tell me the little boy's name

42:56

it's probably just a tail to

42:58

keep children away from late at night

43:00

one that has survived even though

43:02

the climate has warmed the

43:05

ice no longer forms the

43:09

town was founded by european immigrants

43:13

there's decidedly foreign seal to this

43:15

place one that is not

43:17

common in other parts of silly even

43:20

though there some small southern cities

43:23

you can also see blonde blue

43:25

eyed girls running among

43:27

are decidedly homogenous makes

43:29

the spaniards and maputo's his

43:33

place was built as a haven

43:36

hi up in the mountains one

43:39

of the things that has always surprised

43:41

me about t live is that we do not

43:43

in the habit the mountains the

43:45

andes are there the

43:47

sword stuck down our backs but

43:50

we ignore those fabulous peaks

43:53

and settle on the coast and

43:55

if the whole country suffered from terminal

43:57

vertigo the fear of heights

44:00

stop this from enjoying the most

44:03

prominent feature of i'll unique

44:05

landscape they

44:08

can an hour away from home right

44:11

, you leave the highway to head

44:13

up the mountain road road

44:15

was huge military garrison the

44:18

house i bought was built i

44:21

retired army lieutenant i

44:24

did a research on him out of

44:26

curiosity and so that

44:28

he was accused the been involved in

44:30

the disappearance of several political

44:32

prisoners during the dictatorship i

44:35

met him on only two occasions

44:39

when he showed me the place and ,

44:41

we signed the papers papers

44:43

did not know to time although

44:45

time suspected it because of the low price he

44:47

asked that was terminally

44:49

ill he

44:51

died less than a year later the

44:55

night gonna tell me the

44:57

hateful man by

44:59

by everyone in town who

45:01

he would walk around with his old

45:03

service revolver at his hip and

45:05

refused to pay workers for the repairs

45:07

they did to his then

45:10

we moved in i found

45:12

an old grenade the top one the coffee

45:14

tables in living room the know

45:16

firing pin they

45:19

might i cannot remember

45:21

what did with did

45:28

there's still more reading ahead

45:33

i know

45:42

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for you find what should i read next

47:20

or ever you are listening to this podcast

47:25

welcome back you're losing the story bound with

47:27

off and benjamin lava to and

47:30

he's reading from his book when we ceased

47:32

understand world

47:41

the night gardener used to be mathematician

47:44

and , speaks of mathematics is

47:47

former alcoholic speak of booze

47:49

with a mixture of fear and longing

47:53

he told me that yet the beginnings

47:55

of brilliant career but at quit altogether

47:58

after encountering the work alexander

48:00

groton dick a , famous

48:03

mathematician who revolutionized

48:05

geometry has no one had since

48:07

the time of euclid euclid who inexplicably

48:10

gave up mathematics at the height of

48:12

his international same leaving

48:15

same bewildering legacy still

48:17

sending shockwaves through all

48:19

branches of his discipline but

48:21

which completely refused to discuss

48:24

right up to death in two thousand

48:26

and fourteen the

48:29

night gardner gordon the

48:31

turned forty the left his

48:34

family and his friends and

48:37

lived like monk hold up

48:39

in pyrenees it

48:41

was as if einstein had

48:43

given of physics after publishing

48:45

his theory of relativity maradona

48:49

had decided never to touch the ball after winning

48:51

the world cup the

48:53

night gardeners decision to drop

48:56

out of life was not merely because

48:58

of his admiration for growth in the of

49:00

course he had

49:02

also gone through a bad divorce the

49:05

com strange from his only daughter

49:07

and been diagnosed with skin cancer

49:10

but he insisted that all of that however

49:13

painful was secondary

49:15

to the sudden realization that

49:17

it was mathematics not

49:20

nuclear weapons computers

49:22

biological warfare where

49:24

our climate armageddon liquid

49:27

changing our world to the

49:29

point where the couple of

49:31

decades most we would simply

49:34

not be able to grasp that

49:36

being human really men the

49:40

up at we have did he said things

49:43

are getting worse we

49:45

can pull atoms apart the

49:47

back at the first light and

49:50

predict the end of the universe just

49:53

a handful of equations squiggly

49:56

lines and arcane symbols

49:58

that normal people tennis them even

50:01

though they hold sway over their lives

50:05

that it's not just regular folks

50:08

even scientists no longer comprehend

50:10

world they

50:12

quantum mechanics the crown

50:14

jewel of our species the most

50:17

accurate far ranging and beautiful

50:19

of all of physical theories he

50:22

like behind supremacy of our smartphones

50:25

behind the internet behind the coming

50:28

promise of god like computing

50:30

power it has

50:32

completely reshaped our world

50:35

we know how to use it it ,

50:38

as if by some strange miracle

50:40

and yet there is not a human

50:43

soul alive dead

50:45

who actually gets hit the

50:48

mind cannot come to grips with

50:50

it's paradoxes in contradictions it's

50:53

as if the theory had fallen to earth

50:56

from another planet then

50:58

we simply scamper around it like

51:00

eight going and

51:02

playing with it that would no

51:04

true understanding the

51:07

we got and snow them

51:09

to his own and also works on

51:11

other properties in town he

51:14

has no friends that i know was and

51:16

is few neighbors consider him bit

51:18

of a weirdo but like to think

51:20

of him as my friend that he

51:22

will sometimes leave buckets of compost

51:25

outside my house the gift

51:27

for my god and the

51:30

oldest tree on my property is

51:32

a lemon the sprawling

51:34

massive tweaks with heavy bow

51:37

the my god no once

51:40

me if i knew how

51:42

cyprus trees

51:46

when they reach old age they

51:49

are not cut down and they managed

51:51

to survive trout the

51:55

and innumerable attacks of pass

51:58

sunday and plagues the

52:00

for come from over abundance

52:04

they come to the end of their

52:06

life cycle they put

52:08

out a sigh new massive crop

52:11

of lemons their

52:14

last spring flowers

52:16

bud and blossom in

52:18

enormous punches and

52:20

seal the air with smell

52:22

so sleep it's things

52:25

your nostrils from two blocks away

52:28

then the foods right

52:30

them all at once whole

52:33

limbs break off to to their excessive

52:35

weight and after after

52:37

weeks the ground is

52:40

covered with rotting lemons it

52:44

is strange sight he said to

52:46

see such exuberance before

52:48

death one

52:51

can picture it in animal species

52:54

those million solomon mating

52:56

and spawning before dropping dead what

52:59

a billions of herrings that

53:01

turn sea water white with their sperm

53:04

and eggs and cover coast

53:06

of the north east pacific for

53:08

hundreds of miles the

53:11

trees a very different

53:13

organisms and

53:15

foot displays of over ripening

53:18

feel out of character for a plans

53:21

and more akin to our own species

53:24

the uncontrolled devastating

53:26

growth i

53:29

asked him how , my

53:31

own such as had to leave leave

53:35

told me said there was no way

53:37

to know at least

53:39

not without cutting without sounds than

53:41

looking inside it's trunks the

53:44

green who'd want

53:46

to do that

53:54

he her in the happen

53:55

our from benjamin's book when we cease

53:57

to understand the world available now your

53:59

favorite

54:00

bookseller think , a necklace during

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and abigail done new york books and epidemic

54:04

sound and thank you to benjamin for

54:06

reading and rambling with me me

54:09

action assistance by mack huge only deutsche

54:11

madison richard morgan swiss pods lamorisse

54:13

audio clean up my for a dean's social

54:16

media helps will be a be or

54:18

production coordinator story marin and mix

54:20

engineers and carfax editing

54:22

sound design scoring arranging hosting

54:24

mixing mask and so we're

54:27

done by so dude brewer or

54:29

, producers or myself number

54:31

of pas la mer and of

54:33

how the rest of us

54:36

on just instagram as story of

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cause even sweet and me

54:40

directly as you'd for new

54:44

episodes or read

56:36

oh

56:40

i'm natalie barbie doll houses real real

56:42

podcast where we go behind the highlight reels

56:44

to find out what's really going on and wise

56:46

as consecrated entrepreneurs and

56:48

everyone in between after quitting corporate job

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to start my own businesses and folks my

56:53

youtube channel realize that while things

56:55

might look glamorous on her instagram feed

56:57

things can get real like

56:59

really real behind the scenes we get

57:01

an inside look at what's truly going

57:03

on behind all of those beautiful feed

57:05

you can listen to the real real every monday to sort

57:08

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57:12

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57:26

for him to crack joke any he does

57:29

you waiting for the host of

57:31

this week's thirty nine lived at

57:33

home joaquin in the tell you

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that assists or at some point everyone

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break seen it looks at gas prices

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lie or a new york saturday

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