| S14 EP4 | Gavin and David, hosts of the podcast "Gaytriarchs," discuss their experiences with surrogacy and parenting as gay men. They share their journeys of finding egg donors and surrogate carriers, and the decisions they made along the way. The hosts also touch on the unique aspects of gay parenting and the need for constant conversations and decision-making, as well as the importance of authenticity and laughter in navigating the challenges and joys of queer parenting.

🏳️‍🌈About The Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

- Gavin Lodge and David F.M. Vaughn are the co-hosts of the podcast "Gaytriarchs" and are both gay fathers. Gavin has two children and David has two children, all through surrogacy. They have a background in musical theater and share a passion for creating a podcast that brings humor and realness to the gay parenting world.

🏳️‍🌈Key Takeaways:🏳️‍🌈

1. The podcast "Gaytriarchs" aims to provide a space for gay dads to laugh, share stories, and find support.
2. Balancing parenthood and personal interests can be challenging, but it's important to prioritize self-care and maintain a sense of individuality.
3. The hosts emphasize the need for authenticity and realness in the gay parenting community, rather than just portraying an idealized version of family life.

🏳️‍🌈Thanks to our sponsors🏳️‍🌈

• California Cryobank (code QUEERFAM) 
• Our Shelves (code QUEERFAM)

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Call us and leave a voicemail or text: 646-470-1840

Email: [email protected] 

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🏳️‍🌈Edited by Jerson Barajas. Theme song: Tiffany Topol\ Logo art: Daneen Stevenato🏳️‍🌈

Timestamp Summary 0:00:00 Introduction to the Queer Family Podcast and sponsor mention 0:00:30 Discussion on the unique challenges of gay families 0:02:07 Announcement of the Queer Family Podcast winning two Signal Awards 0:04:00 Shoutout to a listener and their upcoming surrogacy journey 0:05:22 Encouragement for listeners to reach out and connect 0:06:19 Introduction to Gavin and David, hosts of Gaytriarchs 0:06:43 David's 32-second elevator pitch about being a gay dad 0:08:21 Gavin's 32-second elevator pitch about being a gay dad 0:09:31 Playful discussion about who won the elevator pitch competition 0:10:09 Mention of upcoming topic on guns for their podcast episode 0:10:08 Introduction: Gavin and David talk about guns. 0:10:48 David's decision to pursue surrogacy and his sister-in-law's offer. 0:13:46 David's sister-in-law agrees to be their surrogate. 0:15:31 Finding a second surrogate through a Facebook group during COVID. 0:16:54 Gavin's conventional route to surrogacy through an agency. 0:17:19 Gavin's experience of flying to Pasadena for sperm donation. 0:18:28 The issue of lost sperm during the egg donor process. 0:19:25 Agency's mishap with the number of viable eggs from the donor. 0:19:28 Discussing the mishap in the surrogacy process. 0:20:13 Debate on using the term "vagina" versus "vulva". 0:21:13 Gavin's experience with surrogacy and the cost involved. 0:22:16 Gavin's desire to have kids and his partner's concerns. 0:24:08 Parenthood as a lesson in selflessness. 0:25:08 Advice on becoming a parent and maintaining self-identity. 0:26:06 Promo for California Cryobank and sperm donor selection. 0:26:58 Decision-making process on who would be the gestational parent. 0:27:39 Possibility of having twins with each partner's biological connection. 0:28:26 Anecdote of military dads with two surrogates and multiple babies. 0:28:25 Discussion about multiple pregnancies and babies 0:29:24 Gavin shares his experience of driving the baby train 0:30:10 Egg donor went MIA during the process 0:32:00 Different approaches to giving children last names 0:33:31 Overthinking decisions about last names 0:35:31 The search for an egg donor and the challenges involved 0:36:47 Biases and parameters in choosing an egg donor 0:37:15 Reflections on the influence of the egg donor 0:37:15 Reflections on the influence of the egg donor 0:37:15 David's view on his kids' behavior and genetics. 0:37:33 Gavin's experience with selecting an egg donor based on appearance. 0:38:18 Gavin asks David about watching videos of potential donors. 0:38:33 David and Gavin discuss selecting donors who resemble them. 0:39:23 David and Gavin talk about choosing average-looking donors. 0:40:23 David mentions not thinking about the donor anymore. 0:40:49 Jamie expresses surprise that closed donations still exist. 0:41:22 Jamie shares her thoughts on seeing the donor in her daughter. 0:42:31 David fears the donor might disappoint him if they meet. 0:43:53 Gavin and David talk about their children's ages. 0:47:22 Introduction to the podcast and how it started 0:47:43 Discussion about the need for a podcast on gay dads 0:48:16 Creating a diaper bag for gay dads 0:49:05 Fear of taking artistic leap and vulnerability 0:50:23 Challenges of remote recording and growing as a team 0:51:09 Humor and light-heartedness in the podcast 0:51:49 Importance of representation and inclusion in podcasts 0:52:05 Musical theater energy and laughter in the show 0:53:27 Appreciation for paving the way for other podcasts 0:53:59 Closing remarks and thanks to the guest

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