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0:00
Music Live
0:28
from the headquarters of Ramsy
0:30
Solutions, it's the Ramsy show.
0:33
Well, we help people build wealth,
0:35
do work that they love
0:38
and create actual amazing
0:40
relationships. Dr.
0:43
John Deloni, Ramsy personality, number
0:45
one, best-selling book author and
0:48
a host of a very hot YouTube
0:51
slash podcast program on the Ramsy networks
0:53
called the Dr. John Deloni show. He's
0:56
my co-host today. The phone number is triple eight,
0:58
eight two five, five two, two five.
1:03
Sabrina starts off this hour in
1:05
Tampa, Florida. Hi Sabrina. How are
1:08
you? I'm
1:10
doing better than I deserve as well. I
1:12
can't believe you finally get to settle this
1:14
for my husband and I want some for all.
1:17
So I get to put on my referee's
1:19
Jersey, get out my whistle, marital
1:22
referee Dave. Absolutely.
1:25
And you've been with us since our
1:27
engagement because we did SPU as a
1:29
part of our marriage counseling. So we
1:31
have every dollar we do the budget
1:33
meetings. We paid off our house last
1:36
March. So you guys already know the answer
1:38
to this question, whatever it is. That's
1:41
the thing. I think I do know the answer. I
1:43
know he knows the answer, but he
1:45
has made the journal thing. So our
1:47
network is 800,000. But
1:50
my husband is ready to buy his
1:52
dream truck. And I know you say
1:54
wait until your network is at least
1:56
a million dollars. We
1:59
bring. and about 215k
2:02
a month, their truck would be between 15k a month.
2:04
You mean a year? So I'm like,
2:06
oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. I was
2:08
about to buy a truck, okay.
2:11
Okay, yeah. At 2.5 million annual
2:13
income, I'm ready to go. Okay,
2:16
all right. Anyway, but anyway, $215,000 a
2:18
year, you're still doing good, okay. Yeah,
2:22
we already put in 15% for retirement. How
2:25
much is the truck? The
2:27
truck will be 50 to 60k. Okay,
2:29
so what is it? It's
2:32
going to probably be a Silverado. He's torn
2:34
between a Silverado or honestly Dave, I
2:36
feel so embarrassed. What is the OF Ford? F-150
2:39
or something. F-150 or something. F-150
2:41
or something. Repent, ma'am. F-150. You
2:45
can't call about the truck, man's truck and not know
2:48
what the man's truck is. It's just wrong. Okay.
2:51
Bless your heart. This is wonderful. Okay, so the only,
2:53
you're out of debt, you have the money to pay
2:55
cash for the truck. The only argument is 800 versus
2:58
a million. Right.
3:01
Okay, and so what's
3:04
your home worth? Our
3:06
home is worth a little over 300k. It
3:09
varies on Zillow between 300 and 330. Okay,
3:12
and you're in Tampa, Florida and
3:15
you're adding 15%. So you're adding $60,000
3:17
a year, not counting growth, to your 401ks. And
3:24
so that's $120,000. So
3:27
in three years you'd be there if there's
3:30
no growth in the stock market. So you're
3:32
millionaires in 18 months from now, roughly. That's
3:36
crazy. That's wild and exciting. Yeah, that's what
3:38
the math says. Okay, that's good for y'all. How old
3:40
are you? I'm 35
3:42
and he's 37. You
3:45
guys rock. You're so smart. We owe,
3:47
you all rock. You all got it to yourself. I
3:49
didn't give you any money. Yes, you did.
3:52
I just showed you how to do it. What's
3:55
the nomination for you guys? Oh,
4:01
I know that. I'm just trying to figure
4:03
out like you're you sound like you've come
4:05
from a very legalistic background and Oh my
4:07
god, you know me so well. I'm scared
4:12
All right Dave will give
4:14
you the answer and then I'll see if I can give
4:16
you a workaround because my church is all over the I'm
4:18
just kidding. Go ahead Dave So
4:21
the concept is and the reason we put a
4:23
million dollars on there is you need to have
4:25
a really strong net worth and Be in a
4:28
really strong financial position in order to be able
4:30
to lose as much money as you're
4:32
gonna lose when you drive A brand new truck off
4:34
the lot when the sound goes boom-bloom
4:36
when you go into the street On
4:39
a Ford f-150 to 60 grand or a nice
4:41
Silverado the 65 or 70 thousand You
4:44
just lost 15,000 bucks when it goes
4:46
boom-bloom Golly,
4:48
that's what it costs when you drive it into the street So
4:51
you got to be able to absorb that blow and
4:53
it not change your life at all Most
4:56
people do that crap while they're broke
4:58
middle-class people and they I need a
5:00
track I Deserve a
5:02
truck cuz I work hard, you don't deserve
5:04
squat You don't work hard enough and
5:06
you hadn't done a good job yet So that's
5:08
who we're talking to we try to get put
5:11
a million dollars up there because at a million
5:13
dollars net worth at 35 years
5:15
old making 215 you can absorb a fifteen
5:17
thousand dollar blow, right? That's where
5:19
the concept comes from So really what
5:21
we need to understand is the concept
5:23
under the principle rather than the legalistic
5:25
number Because if it was 1.1 or
5:27
900 or 800, it doesn't really matter What
5:31
matters is the concept is you can absorb
5:33
the blow so at
5:36
if Sharon and I were doing
5:38
this and it was me wanting a truck which
5:41
is Very very possible
5:43
that that conversation has occurred
5:47
Because I drove my Raptor here today,
5:49
so there you go, but the we
5:51
heard it coming like a deluxe away
5:53
That's a good redneck truck man. I'm
5:55
just saying you know make an announcement
5:57
when you come around the corner, but the Alright,
6:00
so if we were
6:02
doing this, we would probably say, alright,
6:04
the good news is the principle that's in
6:06
place made us stop and think. Are
6:09
we wise? Okay,
6:11
so the good news is you're wise, both
6:14
of you. You've done a great job
6:17
with your money. You're incredible. If
6:19
you buy this truck, it's not going to destroy
6:21
your life. Okay? And
6:24
we set out on a journey following a
6:26
set of principles and guidelines that got us
6:28
here. Deviating from those is
6:30
kind of damaging to your psyche. It
6:34
feels like you cheated. You know
6:36
what I'm saying? Yeah. So technically, technically,
6:38
financially, you could buy the truck and
6:40
you wouldn't notice. I worry more
6:43
about you deviating from this and
6:45
saying, okay, I got the cheat
6:48
code, right? I got the hack. And
6:50
so you could buy it today,
6:52
it wouldn't be a problem. So what Sharon and I
6:55
would do with both of those things in mind, the
6:57
concept matters more than anything
6:59
else. And the deviation scares me
7:01
more than the technical math on it scares
7:03
me. And so what we would
7:05
do is we would probably land in the middle. We'd
7:07
say, okay, we're not going to do it this year.
7:10
We're going to watch the stock market and what it does with our
7:12
401k. We're going to watch our Zillow
7:15
or whatever, probably something more accurate than Zillow
7:17
on my valuation of my real estate. And
7:20
if we get up in the 900s in the next 18 months, I'll
7:23
buy a truck. We might cheat in
7:26
the middle. You know, we're probably
7:28
probably meeting the middle is probably what we
7:30
would do. Okay, so this is not,
7:32
but I can't, I don't get to blow my whistle
7:34
because I'm not going to yell at you if you do
7:36
it today. And I'm not going to
7:38
yell at you. And I'm not going
7:40
to say you're super extra smart if you do
7:43
it, you know, if you wait till
7:45
it's exactly a million, because there's nothing magic about
7:47
the million. What was magic
7:49
is we made you pay attention. What was magic
7:51
is we gave you a plan that you believed
7:53
in and you executed on it. What was magic
7:55
is you got a large enough net worth that
7:57
you can absorb the blow. That's the magic. That
8:00
make sense? And we didn't
8:02
lose any of the magic if you buy something today. And
8:05
I thought it I Absolutely
8:07
love that plan and the one caveat I would
8:10
add to it is does it have to be
8:12
a 2024? Does a 2023
8:14
or 2022 get you there where somebody else? Get
8:17
you get this amazing. If you want to do a 23 you can do
8:19
it today. F-150 Somebody else has already
8:21
eaten that 15k for you and you buy a car
8:24
with 9,000 miles on it Somebody returned
8:26
it and you're good to go. I will
8:28
tell you this. I'm on my fourth Raptor So
8:31
you're gonna do it again anyway, so you could
8:33
do a 23 and in two years go
8:35
do a brand new one and That
8:38
would solve John you're smart trying. We
8:40
got you around here, man That's
8:43
a good that's a better solution than all my
8:45
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John Deloney Ramsey personality best-selling
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course host of the dr. John Deloney show which you
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need to tune in and check out on
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the Ramsey Networks Zachary
9:45
is with us. He's in st.
9:47
Louis. Hi Zachary. How are you?
9:50
I'm doing well. I'm doing well How are you guys
9:52
doing better than we deserve sir? What's up? Well,
9:55
I had a question for you. I'm actually a
9:57
pastor over here at a small town church I
10:00
just want to say I very much appreciate all that
10:02
you do. Thank you. But one
10:04
question that's come up for me is
10:06
I often hear you use the phrase,
10:08
the borrower is slave to the lender.
10:11
And I definitely agree with that principle in
10:13
many ways. But then on the
10:16
other end, I noticed that when it comes
10:18
to a mortgage, you are
10:20
okay borrowing in that instance, which
10:22
seems almost to betray that principle a little
10:25
bit. And I guess I was just curious
10:27
on your reasoning as to why you think
10:30
it's okay to borrow in that instance. But
10:33
then when it comes to something like a
10:35
car, especially for someone like me, I live a
10:38
little bit in the country where I'm
10:40
at. So it's a little bit more
10:42
difficult. The car is almost a requirement.
10:44
Pastor, that is a wonderful question. Yeah.
10:47
It's a really good question. Of course, you're quoting
10:49
the Scriptures, Proverbs 22.7, the rituals are over the
10:51
poor and the borrower is slave
10:55
to the lender. And this is a biblical principle
10:58
that we're violating when
11:00
we say it's okay to take out a mortgage.
11:03
And that's your point. And you're correct completely
11:05
on that. Or we tell people
11:07
it's okay to do that. So are you 26? I'm
11:11
actually like 31. I
11:14
had to think about that for a second. Okay. That's
11:16
okay. You lose count around 30.
11:18
It happens. Yeah, I'm
11:20
on the 34th anniversary of my 30th birthday.
11:22
But the... All right.
11:27
So the answer to your question is it
11:29
is the only hypocritical
11:33
advice we give on this show. It's
11:37
the only thing that was hypocritical we give on
11:39
the show. It's the only thing we tell people
11:41
it's okay to do that I never do. I
11:45
went broke in my 20s as I was
11:47
a baby Christian. I had just met God
11:49
and I discovered in that process. I got
11:51
teaching that what the Bible said about money
11:53
named Larry Burkett. And
11:56
I said, I'm going to follow what the
11:58
Bible says. I'm never borrowing money again. I've never
12:00
borrowed money again. money again. I don't borrow money
12:02
for anything ever for any reason under any circumstances.
12:06
Everything else I tell people on the show to do, I
12:08
do exactly what I say to do. Allowing
12:11
people to take out a mortgage without me yelling
12:14
at them, it's
12:16
the only time that my advice
12:18
is inconsistent with my life. Does
12:20
that make sense? Right. And
12:23
it's completely, completely fair for you to call me
12:25
out on it and then I'll answer your question.
12:27
But I wanted to caveat that and say I
12:29
don't borrow money for anything. And sometimes when I
12:31
get a question where it's kind of borderline whether
12:33
they have to borrow or not, I tell them
12:36
that story. I say, hey, I
12:38
don't borrow for anything and I recommend that. That
12:40
is the best way. If
12:43
you follow biblical principles, you're going
12:45
to, in your marriage, your marriage is going to prosper.
12:47
If you follow biblical principles raising your kids, your kids
12:49
are going to be amazing. If you follow biblical principles
12:51
in your mental health and your
12:53
emotional state, you're going to prosper. And the same
12:56
is true in your money and in your leadership.
12:58
If you're running a church, running a business, same
13:00
thing is true. So I evangelical,
13:02
man, I believe that the Bible says it and you
13:04
do it, it's a good thing, right? So I'm with
13:07
you on that. Now,
13:09
the reason that I lighten up when someone
13:11
calls in on that is
13:14
two things. One is I can pretty much
13:16
talk you out of or call you stupid
13:18
taking out a car loan because
13:20
cars go down in value. The interest
13:23
rate is higher and there's no correlation
13:25
between buying the cars with payments and
13:27
becoming wealthy. Very few
13:29
millionaires will tell you that, oh,
13:32
the best thing I ever did was agree to borrow
13:34
on a car because I needed a car because I
13:36
was out in the country and I was driving a
13:38
long way and I needed a car. No millionaires told
13:40
us that when we studied 10,000 of them. So the
13:42
fruit is not
13:45
there. I'm a fruit inspector. Okay.
13:48
The second thing is, millionaires do tell
13:50
us that they borrowed to buy a
13:52
house many times and when they got
13:54
it paid off, they never borrowed money
13:56
again after that. Their debt averse but
13:58
not completely mortgage averse. So the data
14:01
is in that millionaires do that.
14:04
Even though I would tell you the best way to do it
14:06
is save up and pay cash for it, it's hard to get
14:08
people to save up for 10 years to buy a house. I
14:11
can get them to save up three years to buy a car, or
14:14
18 months to buy a car. But I've
14:16
had trouble doing that. So I make
14:18
that violation, but I also often tell people all
14:20
the time when I say that, no
14:23
more than a 15 year mortgage, no more than a payment of
14:25
a fourth of your take on pay. You probably heard me say
14:27
that, Zachary. And then get the
14:30
stupid house paid off as fast as you
14:32
can because the shortest distance between where you
14:34
are and wealth is debt
14:36
freedom. And
14:38
that's consistent across the thing. But you're exactly
14:40
right. And my cars are completely different. Cars
14:42
are the largest thing we buy that goes
14:44
the wrong direction. It goes down in value.
14:47
And when you finance a car, you're just begging to
14:49
be middle class the rest of your life, financially,
14:52
mathematically. Well,
14:54
and most people are stupid enough to like take
14:57
a car note on like a $30,000 car when
15:00
they have no money either. Exactly. Yeah,
15:03
like everybody listening right now, just about. Right,
15:06
right, right. You're right. I
15:09
did have one other thing. And by
15:11
the way, I wanna say I support
15:13
everything you're doing wholeheartedly, including like, I've
15:15
been using myself many of these
15:17
steps, being a small town pastor, you don't get paid
15:19
a ton of money and you have kids. And so
15:22
I've actually had to use these things for myself. So
15:24
again, I wanna say thank you. The
15:26
one other thing I noticed though, as someone who
15:28
was new to the Dave Ramsey
15:30
program in many ways and was new to
15:32
those steps, is that I didn't hear a
15:35
lot of talk about creating a buffer.
15:37
So as someone who was new, I
15:40
didn't have any money in my checking account, right?
15:42
Because I was using credit cards and then I
15:44
was paying off those credit cards with the money
15:47
in my account. So I never really had money
15:49
in my account. And I was in this endless
15:51
cycle, obviously, like a lot of people were. So
15:54
one thing that I thought just to
15:56
consider is that in those baby steps,
15:58
I almost thought there should be a... another baby step
16:01
about creating a buffer because people need
16:03
to, they don't just need a $1,000
16:05
emergency fund. I
16:08
thought that was the buffer whenever I
16:10
was new to the Dave Ramsey program and the
16:12
Dave Ramsey baby steps. But there's
16:14
also this idea of making sure you have
16:16
a buffer because you're going to have auto
16:18
payments on preschool and mortgages and all types
16:21
of stuff. Well, that should be part of
16:23
your budgeting, Zachary. You should
16:25
plan your, you should, budgeting is cash flow
16:27
planning. And so you're
16:29
planning to not take more money out of
16:31
your checking account than you have in it.
16:34
That's your buffer. And you
16:36
can put a $100 buffer in there if you want, but that's
16:38
fine. You don't need any more than that. There's nothing wrong with
16:40
that. But you don't need a $2,000 buffer
16:43
because you're incompetent at
16:45
budgeting. You
16:47
need to have the budget dialed in.
16:49
We're paying the auto payment comes out
16:51
here. This other payment comes out
16:53
here. The paycheck planning aspect, it's called, and if
16:56
you use the every dollar app, shows you how
16:58
to do that. And so you need to plan
17:00
out every situation there.
17:03
But we're honored to have you as a new listener. That
17:06
is something that, man,
17:08
that rings home to me because here's what I
17:11
fell in the trap of doing. My
17:13
wife and I would make a budget and then
17:15
we would check our checking account to
17:17
see where we were. We
17:20
shouldn't do that because then I would make it, I'd be like,
17:22
oh, I can get a little more groceries. And
17:24
then that, yeah, because the checking account is not an
17:26
indicator if you're on your budget. That's
17:29
exactly right. And so then that buffer he's talking about, then
17:31
all of a sudden the school would pull their tuition on
17:33
the fourth instead of the fifth. And
17:36
because I was not following the budget map we'd
17:38
laid out, but I was checking the checking account
17:40
part. A budget map
17:42
is a plan and you would never plan to spend
17:44
money that you don't have in your account. That's
17:47
exactly right. So don't plan to spend money you don't
17:49
have in your account and your need for a buffer
17:51
goes away. Other than a common sense of $50 or
17:53
$100 or something for slippage, you're looking at something being
17:55
off $0.20 or something. You don't want to do that.
17:57
You don't want to do the penny thing. this
18:00
concept of slosh, because it
18:02
covers my lack of detail
18:04
and sticking to the detail,
18:08
that's not, you don't need slosh. That's
18:10
not good. But yeah, and a lot of people do
18:12
that. So the trick is, the thing
18:14
that happens is your brain, and you and
18:17
I have been talking about this in
18:19
a bunch of other areas too, your
18:21
brain, the neuroplasticity, your brain reriders itself
18:23
when you start making every single dollar
18:26
come out when it's supposed to
18:28
give every dollar of your income
18:30
a name before the month begins,
18:33
you and your spouse spit shake
18:35
and pinky swear that we're sticking to
18:37
this contract that we just wrote down.
18:41
Something happens and changes from that chaotic
18:43
wild man that you were before, and
18:46
it takes about 90 days for that rewiring
18:48
to completely occur. And that
18:50
neuroplasticity, it changes your behavior, it's behavior
18:53
transformation. And so the
18:55
detail matters in that situation because you're
18:57
forcing your brain to work really
19:00
hard. Yeah, that's what you want. This is
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Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality,
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is my co-host today. Thank
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you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here.
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Open phone's at 888-825-5225. Now,
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a lot of human beings. I,
20:47
I, my mom retired,
20:49
and I think she's just at home
20:51
creating new accounts and hitting refresh, refresh,
20:54
refresh. 40,000 of them? She's got
20:56
a lot of, she's quick, man. She's quick on the keyboard. Yeah. No,
20:59
that's a wild, I'm glad people are tuning in,
21:01
man. Yeah. Well, you're helping a lot
21:04
of people. Pretty wild. A lot of relationship questions and
21:06
addiction questions and, uh, boundary
21:10
questions and marriage questions and
21:12
some bizarre ones. That
21:14
thing, I caught a glimpse, I haven't heard the
21:16
whole call yet, I've got to get it downloaded in the truck on
21:18
the way home, I listened to it. But,
21:21
uh, the one that dropped with
21:24
the woman who, her, somebody gave
21:26
her, her husband gave her an ancestry.com
21:29
DNA. Yeah. And
21:32
she discovers that her dad is not
21:34
her dad, that it's the
21:36
local priest. Yeah. Is
21:38
her dad. Yeah. That
21:41
is a hairy phone call. It's tough. And here's
21:43
the deal, some of those. It's like Dr. Phil
21:45
or something. Well, it
21:47
can feel Jerry Springer if you're not careful.
21:49
And I think the, the difference is, um,
21:52
man, we, 23andMe, if you go down and
21:54
read some of the articles, it's happening
21:56
all over the country. People are finding out
21:58
family secrets and family stories. that
22:00
for generations before just lay quiet and people lose
22:02
their faith because the pastor does something or a
22:04
minister does something or a leader does something and
22:07
it's hard to come back. And so I
22:09
think sometimes the sensational calls feel like,
22:11
Oh my Jerry, Jerry, but there's some
22:13
humanity in there with the hurt
22:15
and persing that says, I thought that was my dad.
22:17
It's not. Yeah. And
22:19
why didn't my dad, why didn't my dad come get me? Because
22:22
he didn't know. Or maybe
22:24
he did know. Yeah. Wow.
22:28
That makes it, but I think all of us
22:30
have that question like, why didn't my dad show up or
22:32
why didn't my mom? Like, so I think there's some humanity
22:34
in all of those calls. Yeah. Oh,
22:36
definitely. That was just wild. Yeah. I
22:39
thought, man, I didn't know if I knew it was going to take a twist and then it
22:41
went twisty twisty. Yeah. Yeah. It
22:44
was crazy. Yeah. Well,
22:47
and the lesson is don't do genetic
22:49
testing. You never get good. I'm just
22:51
kidding. I'm just kidding. I did it.
22:55
Only bad things can come out. I will tell
22:57
you this. I
22:59
got your family tree for paying. Dave,
23:03
you'll get a kick out of this. My doctor,
23:05
he ran the genetic test for me. It wasn't
23:07
with 23andMe. It was with his special program. And
23:09
he called and said, do you struggle walking
23:11
past a bowl of candy in an
23:13
office? And
23:15
I said, did my wife call you?
23:17
What happened? And he's like, I'm just looking at
23:19
your genetics and whoa. And I was like, yeah, we
23:21
should probably talk. This doctor, man, he's got
23:23
insight. We should talk. That wasn't
23:26
a DNA test. That was more than a DNA
23:28
test. Cindy's in Casper,
23:30
Wyoming. Hi, Cindy. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
23:34
Hello. Thank you so much for both of you
23:36
for what you do. And I'm one
23:38
of the Dr. John Deloney listeners. So thank you
23:40
as well to you. Thank you. I'm
23:43
excited and excited but nervous to talk to you
23:45
guys today. But I have things kind of lined
23:47
out, I hope. Okay. How can
23:50
we help? All right. So I unfortunately
23:52
got a divorce about a year ago. And I'm
23:54
still in the house making the payment. I'm
23:57
wondering what I should do in the next six months
23:59
after my daughter... or leave for college because
24:02
I still owe my ex money from the
24:04
house. So I have some questions and some
24:06
thoughts about that. So
24:11
the need to protect her by keeping the
24:13
home goes away when she leaves, correct? Correct.
24:17
And that might have been some of the motivation early in
24:19
this game. How
24:23
much do you owe the ex? Well,
24:26
the way the divorce decree is written is by
24:28
2026, I need
24:30
to pay him half of the appraised
24:33
market value at the
24:36
time I sell it. But
24:38
it's based on the amount owned on the
24:40
house when we divorced. So I'm making all
24:42
the payments on the house. So
24:45
when we divorced... So if you did it today, what
24:47
do you owe him today? If
24:50
I were to do it today, depending on... I haven't
24:52
actually got an appraisal, but I'm going to guess between
24:54
$75,000 and $100,000. Okay.
24:58
Do you have any money? Which would be half. No,
25:01
I'm on baby step three. Good. Okay.
25:04
And what's your household income? My
25:07
household income is about $70,000 off
25:10
of my full-time job. And then I
25:12
also have side hustles that bring in between $5,000
25:14
and $10,000 a year. And
25:16
you're getting ready to be in a matter of
25:18
months an empty nest or divorcee?
25:22
Correct. Okay. All right. Is
25:25
there a reason to keep the house? Before
25:30
I started listening to you six months ago,
25:33
my reason would have been the interest rate
25:35
is really low because of course we
25:37
refinance during that time. I
25:40
do... It's a great house.
25:42
I have great neighbors. The
25:44
location is 90% of the time awesome. And
25:50
I'm just comfortable here. There's really
25:52
no reason to leave except for
25:54
the debt piece of it. Okay.
26:00
question is that mathematically it
26:02
doesn't sound like keeping it is going to be
26:04
a blessing. It sounds like it's going
26:06
to be real tight. That
26:09
is yes that's part of what you
26:11
refinance that those payments on your income
26:13
are going to be tight. Agreed? Agreed.
26:17
There's got to be a real reason to
26:19
do this other than it's part of a
26:21
picture that is now shattered. And
26:24
Cindy I'm gonna ask you a question on your behalf. Dave
26:27
for every payment she makes of a
26:29
thousand bucks since he gets appraised value
26:31
minus sales price. No she got minus
26:33
the old mortgage amount the original mortgage
26:35
amount. Original mortgage amount. He's not gaining
26:37
ground while she's paying payments. Okay I
26:39
thought he was gaining half of every
26:41
payment. He's only gaining the value increase
26:44
correct? That's correct.
26:46
Yeah only gaining the value increase. Yeah
26:48
not the mortgage reduction. Okay so
26:50
no. And the other thing I'm up against is
26:52
I don't want to leave my community that I'm in
26:55
and I've been looking at houses kind of just keeping
26:57
an eye out for what's out there. And with
27:00
the increase in the rates as
27:02
well I'm struggling to find something
27:04
that's been with that 25% of
27:08
my take home. Well Cindy here's the
27:10
hardest thing about
27:14
divorce that they don't tell you. It
27:18
blows up every single corner of your life.
27:21
Right. And it's almost impossible
27:24
just to extract this relationship out
27:26
of your life and keep your
27:28
community, keep your geographical location,
27:30
keep your payments, keep your neighbors.
27:32
It does happen sometimes but
27:35
they don't tell you that. It's fairly rare.
27:37
It blows up everything and what I see
27:39
ground people is them trying to keep
27:42
parts of their life shackled to themselves and
27:44
they drag this into their future and it
27:46
ends up collapsing them under a payment you
27:48
can't afford or under. You're gonna go buy
27:50
a new house in the same neighborhood that's
27:52
gonna be way more expensive on a monthly
27:54
basis etc etc. It's
27:56
just a matter of exhaling and
27:58
realizing oh every... everything changed.
28:01
So, right, yeah you got to
28:03
digest that. The way I,
28:08
two decision-making tools I use in
28:10
situations like this or
28:12
other things is I look, number one, I look into
28:14
the future and I say what is the best decision
28:16
for me 20 years from today?
28:19
How old are you? I
28:22
am 46. Okay, so when
28:24
you're 66, what
28:27
decision makes you really like the
28:29
46 year old Cindy as being
28:31
wise? You know, what did you do? You look back and
28:33
you're, God that was so smart.
28:36
Or, God that was so dumb. I wish I
28:38
hadn't done that. You know, and sometimes if
28:40
I look that far forward, it
28:42
kind of magnifies this and it becomes
28:44
obvious. Alright, the second thing
28:47
I do is I use a sunk cost analysis
28:49
and you probably heard me do this, you said
28:51
you listen and that is if I
28:53
didn't already own it and I had the pile of money
28:55
in the middle of the table, would I come by this
28:57
house? Right.
29:00
Okay. And probably the answer to that
29:02
one is no. If
29:06
you were in a one bedroom apartment right now
29:08
and had that equity and your husband was gone,
29:10
your ex-husband was gone, he's paid off, he's gone.
29:12
You had your portion of the money in the
29:14
middle of the kitchen table and you're in a
29:16
one bedroom apartment, you probably wouldn't come by this
29:18
house. So you're defaulting backwards
29:20
into it. You know, you're
29:23
lobstering into it. You're running backwards into it
29:25
rather than making a proper forward based decision.
29:27
I don't think it's, I
29:29
don't think it's the end of the world if you keep it, but I
29:31
think it's going to be tight and I'm not sure it's worth it is
29:34
what I'm saying. This is the Ramsey Show. This
29:39
episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen,
29:42
if you can't even remember the last
29:44
time you had half an hour to
29:46
yourself, be honest, ask why. It's probably
29:48
because everyone else's schedules, priorities and
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emergencies are driving your life. And
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when you can't keep carrying that load, talking
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30:48
Dr. John Deloni, Ramsey personality is my
30:51
co-host today. Phone's a triple 8, 8-2-5,
30:53
5-2-2-5. John,
30:57
our last caller was, you and I talked
30:59
about it during the break briefly, was very
31:01
level headed. She'd been through a lot
31:03
of pain and yet there was
31:05
a wisdom. She was not being like,
31:08
she was not way super
31:10
emotional about it. She's really trying to
31:13
be wise and that was, it's
31:15
not always the case when I'm talking to somebody in a situation
31:17
that's been through that much pain. Their
31:19
daughter's leaving home for college right after a
31:22
divorce. She's got a lot of tearing, losing
31:24
her friends, losing her community, losing her house,
31:26
losing her husband. It was a, you
31:29
can always tell when someone's asking you a question because they want you
31:31
just to confirm what they're asking or I need some help. She
31:35
really did try to figure it out. Tell me the hard stuff.
31:38
Really trying to figure it out. That's a really good place for her.
31:40
It's also a jumping off point. I will tell you this, it's
31:43
one of the harder things in a one-on-one
31:45
coaching session that we've had to
31:47
deal with or even here on the air is in
31:50
a divorce situation and
31:52
it's not a moral construct, it's a
31:55
math thing, whether
31:57
it's right or not we can discuss,
31:59
but generally Similarly, in our culture
32:01
today, still, ladies
32:04
make less than gentlemen. The
32:07
income of males is still higher than females. Not
32:10
necessarily because of the jobs, not necessarily because
32:13
of a lot of different factors enter into
32:15
that, but the fact is
32:17
the mom generally after the
32:19
divorce has a greater reduction in
32:21
income than the husband. She
32:26
generally, mama bear, tries to keep
32:29
the kids have already had the pain of
32:31
dad leaving. Now she doesn't want
32:33
to have to have them move out of their bedroom, their
32:36
next door neighbor friends that they play kickball
32:38
with and pull them out of their
32:41
schools. And so she'll do anything
32:43
to keep them in a house that there's no
32:45
mathematical way she can afford. And
32:47
I've watched newly single moms, particularly with
32:50
young children, that lady's last child was
32:52
going off to college. She had that
32:54
benefit to this decision. It made this
32:56
decision easier. But when you got an
32:58
eight year old, a seven year old, and a five year
33:00
old that are crying, where's daddy? And
33:03
don't take me out of my kindergarten class that are, I
33:05
love my Miss Jones or whatever,
33:07
right? And you're going to try to find
33:10
a way to make a payment that does not fit in
33:12
those numbers. And
33:14
it usually sets them back as
33:16
much as a decade financially
33:19
instead of just going
33:21
like you said, it sucks. Everything's
33:23
blown up. Everything's blown up. And we've
33:26
got to move to a cheaper house. And
33:28
there was that time that that thing happened. And
33:31
families and other generations just did that,
33:33
right? You know, the husband died. And
33:37
so the family lost the farm, you
33:39
know, there wouldn't be somebody that loaned them that much money
33:41
for that long, etc. Right? Yeah, they
33:44
weren't there. There wasn't an option. They were forced into
33:47
housing that they could afford, you
33:49
know, and it's just it's so freaking
33:51
emotionally painful, though, because
33:54
on the short term, it just rips
33:56
everything out by the hair. But
33:58
on the long term, it's the only thing that's ever happened. thing you can do
34:00
to recover. Yeah, I've gone to telling
34:02
parents the greatest gift you can give your kid
34:05
is not the schools and
34:07
the stuff. It's a regulated you. And
34:10
so you... Freaked out single mom trying to pay
34:12
a payment. She can't pay working six jobs. It's
34:14
an electric home. So I keep you in a
34:16
house so everything's okay, but now everything's not okay
34:18
because you're freaked out. Everybody lives in a
34:20
bug zapper then, right? Exactly. Versus a
34:22
mom who's able to laugh and breathe because she
34:25
can make the two bedroom apartment payments. Is
34:27
that ideal? No, it's the worst, man. It's
34:29
the worst. They're gonna afford the spaghetti and
34:32
the peanut butter and jelly. Now we can laugh, we
34:34
can breathe, we can go for walks out in the
34:36
park and your kid's nervous systems will adjust to that.
34:39
More than they will. The chaos. To try
34:41
to keep everything as similar as it
34:44
was. The sameness is not
34:46
the answer. Because
34:48
nothing's the same. Everything's gone. If you can afford it and
34:50
want to stay, that's fine. I don't have a problem with
34:52
that, but I will tell you that probably seven
34:54
out of ten times I'm just looking at the numbers with
34:56
somebody in this situation, they gotta move. And
34:59
I gotta be the one to tell them.
35:01
Divorce is just one of those things that's
35:03
so pervasive, it happens so often, that everybody
35:06
thinks it's just gonna continue on. We don't
35:08
realize how painful it is and how
35:11
disruptive it is to every corner of our life.
35:14
It's very real. Hailey
35:16
is with us in Oklahoma. Hi, Hailey.
35:18
Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave.
35:20
Hey, what's up? Okay,
35:24
so my husband and I just really don't want to
35:26
be stuck in middle class for the rest of
35:29
our life. We've been married 10 years now. We
35:31
did your baby steps. One,
35:34
I think I made it to two maybe at the beginning, probably
35:37
four years ago. My
35:39
husband lost his job during COVID
35:41
and we moved from northwest Arkansas
35:43
over to Oklahoma and
35:46
the current job he has now, he's making
35:48
$65,000 a year. So,
35:51
he has a brand new truck
35:53
that is required by the job and
35:55
it has to be five years or newer. We're
35:58
really, really just trying to. to look
36:00
for another job he's been actively looking
36:03
and applying. So my question is, how
36:05
do we get him a good job
36:07
to support like our family? We are
36:09
currently in, we're fixing
36:11
to have a fourth baby. We have outgrown our
36:13
one vehicle that we do have that's his truck.
36:16
We're gonna need a newer vehicle. Just,
36:19
we feel like it's this recurring mountain of
36:22
living paycheck to paycheck and trying to set
36:24
back money. And when he lost his job
36:26
during COVID, we had money
36:28
set back in savings and depleted all of
36:30
that. Cause he was just working
36:32
odds and in jobs trying to make ends
36:35
meet. We both went
36:37
to college, both have bachelor's degrees. What's
36:39
your degree in? It's just,
36:41
poultry science and ag business. Okay.
36:45
And you have four littles at home.
36:48
Yes. And that's your job? Three littles, I'm
36:51
pregnant with the fourth one. No, three plus a three and a
36:53
half. Okay. And that's your full-time job.
36:55
Okay. Yes sir. And
36:58
his degree is in what? Same
37:00
thing. And you've got a, how much debt?
37:05
The truck is how much debt? The
37:08
truck is about 38,000 less. Okay.
37:11
And what else? We
37:14
have about, I
37:16
think maybe $5,000 more. Just
37:20
one of my student loans that, that
37:23
no, I was gonna get, we got that last year. And
37:25
then. How much is it? Just, it's
37:28
4,500. And
37:30
he has a 48,000 dollar truck, and what else? And
37:34
then we just, we have $1,000 on our credit card and
37:36
that's it. Okay. You
37:38
realize that you all lie to yourself about the
37:41
truck, right? Yes,
37:43
yeah. Okay, because you can buy a five
37:45
year old truck a lot cheaper than he bought that. That
37:48
met the guidelines for work. Well the truck has to be
37:50
eight, yeah. Yeah, it
37:52
has to be five years into everything. And
37:55
do they pay him up? Do they pay him in addition to 65,000
37:57
for the truck? Very
38:00
little. He gets like so many cents per
38:02
mile. It does not match up at all.
38:05
Okay. So his truck, it's only good for
38:08
another two years before it falls out of
38:10
the requirement. And so obviously looking for another
38:12
job to get out of that and
38:14
just sell his truck and be able to pay cash
38:16
something for us so they can be able to loan
38:19
our families. Yeah, I mean you can make $55,000 a year
38:21
and be way ahead of this. This is a bad deal.
38:24
Yeah. It's a really, really bad deal. So
38:29
how big a company is this that he works for?
38:34
Decently, sorry. I mean, they got a
38:36
thousand employees, a hundred employees, what? Probably
38:40
more than like a couple thousand and they're
38:42
in three, four, five, I think four different
38:44
states. Okay. They're one of the top
38:47
producers. Yeah. I think he needs to get a job. Yeah.
38:50
That's part of the answer. And
38:52
you guys can't lie to yourself next time
38:55
and say that a $48,000 truck fits your
38:57
world because it doesn't fit your world. Just
39:00
because somebody told you that you had to do that
39:02
to get a job, that you just don't take that
39:04
job. That's not a job. That was a no that
39:06
you said yes to. Yeah. Because
39:09
you're desperate and scared. You had little
39:11
to feed, I understand. But that
39:14
was a no. You should have done some, you
39:16
know, you've been better off doing almost anything else.
39:18
That was a trap. And
39:20
so, yeah, you know,
39:22
once he starts getting a sniff on a couple of
39:24
other positions, I would tell him to go to his
39:26
supervisor and say, I can't
39:28
stay anymore and finance a truck
39:31
for this multimillion-dollar company. Yeah.
39:35
This multimillion-dollar company wants me to buy them a
39:37
truck and I can't afford it. I
39:40
have four kids to feed and you
39:42
don't pay me enough to
39:45
finance a truck for you. So
39:47
screw this. Yeah.
39:50
I mean, really. But how do you set money back to
39:52
do that even when you do get a new job and
39:54
living paycheck to paycheck? Yeah. Well, you get
39:56
the truck sold and the only answers are
39:58
three things. One is... Expenses
40:01
go down, two is
40:03
income goes up, and three is we
40:05
manage the snot out of the money
40:07
we have using a detailed budget. That
40:09
part you're probably not doing. Probably
40:11
doing a decent job of what you got. You're
40:14
not flush or anything like that. You're not wasteful,
40:16
but you could tighten this up a lot. And
40:19
then you guys got to work on getting your income up, and
40:21
that includes you doing something from home. This
40:23
is the Ramsey Show. Well
40:32
we help people build wealth,
40:35
do work, set their love, and
40:38
create actual, amazing relationships.
40:41
Dr. John DeWiskey, Ramsey personality is
40:43
my co-host today, and we talk about your
40:45
life and your money. It's
40:48
a free call. Some say the advice is worth
40:50
exactly what you pay for it. The
40:52
phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Linda is with us
40:54
in Seattle. Hi,
41:03
Linda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi.
41:06
Thank you very much for taking my call. Sure.
41:08
What's up? So
41:11
I have a 26-year-old
41:13
son, and he's getting
41:16
a PhD. And
41:19
he's a great kid. Love him
41:21
to death. Great heart. He
41:25
doesn't make a ton. He's on a budget.
41:27
He's very aware of his expenses. He's
41:30
in a low rent area. The
41:33
problem is he doesn't always have enough money
41:35
to make ends meet without
41:38
going into debt. My
41:40
question is, should I be
41:42
supplementing him monthly? I
41:45
can't afford it. Or
41:47
should I wait until he has
41:49
a car repair and
41:51
then give him that
41:53
or a computer repair? I'm
41:57
trying to get him on his feet. at
42:00
least he has four more years of his
42:03
program. I'm not, I don't want to enable
42:05
him but we both
42:07
don't want him, you know, he knows we don't want him
42:09
to go into debt but...
42:12
What's the program? It's
42:15
an environmental science program. He
42:19
just started? Well
42:21
he's one year in. It's
42:23
a five-year program for a PhD,
42:25
yeah. Mm-hmm. So they are, I guess
42:29
here's my... For
42:31
what? What's he gonna do? Well
42:35
he's probably going to
42:37
be working in a nonprofit when
42:39
he's done. He loves what he does, he's
42:43
doing a lot of research, he
42:45
does get paid, he has good benefits, medical,
42:48
all of that. He's going for five years to get
42:50
a job that doesn't pay well? Well
42:55
I'm hoping he will make,
42:58
you know, enough money when he gets out
43:00
to support himself. Well I
43:02
hope so after five freaking years working
43:04
on a PhD but
43:07
I mean his whole goal here is to work in
43:09
an underpaid job, that's what he's working towards. You
43:14
know he might own
43:16
the nonprofit actually when
43:18
he's done.
43:20
Well then we would call that
43:22
a for-profit. Why
43:25
does it have to be a nonprofit? I'm so
43:28
confused. Is he a TA? Yes.
43:31
Okay. Does he have some
43:33
restrictions on his work schedule? Yeah,
43:36
like he can't really go out and get another
43:39
job right now. It says
43:41
who? Is that program specific? Because here's
43:43
why. I got
43:45
a second PhD while working as an
43:48
associate dean, dean of
43:50
students at a law school while also
43:53
being a parent, while
43:55
also working in the graduate
43:57
school teaching classes for extra money on top of
43:59
all. other things. Now,
44:02
I had a heroic wife that kept the
44:05
house duct tape together and everything
44:07
moving and running, but I
44:10
hear grad students a lot telling me, you
44:12
know, I just can't and my first instinct
44:14
is I did and you can and I
44:17
had to go see clients on top of that. I mean I
44:19
had to see my client at six o'clock in the morning or
44:21
seven in the morning or seven at night because I had to
44:23
go to my full-time job and be a parent. And
44:27
so, if he's got TA responsibilities,
44:29
that's 20 hours a week and he gets
44:31
his benefits and his tuition discount and his
44:34
lab work, but
44:36
there's nothing to say he can't go work
44:38
at a restaurant and go get a full-time
44:41
job somewhere else in an adjacent field
44:43
that maybe is going to lead to career opportunities
44:45
bigger than I just
44:48
want to go whatever. You
44:50
see what I'm saying? I guess
44:53
I just don't buy it. Now, if you're getting a
44:55
PhD in psychology, they will tell you, you cannot work
44:57
another job or law school, you can't work another job
44:59
because it's too demanding. Cool, fine.
45:02
The payoff on the other end of those jobs is very
45:04
different than what you're describing as well. And
45:07
so, I guess I just have a hard time with
45:09
the, well, he just can't because he's busy. I don't
45:11
buy it. You figure out the time. You
45:14
figure out the time. And if you can't,
45:16
then you all have to as a family say, okay, he
45:18
can't afford this. As a family, are
45:21
we going to subsidize this for the
45:23
next four years because this problem doesn't
45:25
go away. It's not, you know, if
45:27
you create sustainability by you subsidizing it,
45:30
then it's a four-year promise because
45:34
we don't have an avenue, we don't have
45:36
an exit ramp to you sustaining it or
45:38
to you subsidizing it, right? Right,
45:41
okay. And I don't like
45:43
the, I don't like personally, I don't like the
45:45
problem specific. You just call us if you
45:47
have a problem because that's going
45:50
to lead to a lot of resentment and, well, did
45:52
you do that? I'd much rather prefer, hey, we're going
45:54
to agree to cover your rent. Yeah, I think I
45:56
would do the monthly amount if you're going to promise
45:58
to do something like that. four years. But
46:01
then on top of that answer
46:03
to your question, we're giving you two pieces
46:05
of advice. The first
46:07
one is John saying he needs to explore
46:09
work avenues because... Lots of
46:11
them. Yeah. And
46:14
most people who went to
46:16
college worked. Most
46:19
people. It's very unusual
46:21
for someone even working on a
46:23
PhD program to not work and
46:26
work a lot. I worked 40 to 60 hours.
46:29
I graduated in four years with a 2.97 because
46:32
I was at work all the time and
46:35
I got out of school. So if I wanted out
46:37
of school, I was paying for it. I didn't have
46:39
any desire to hang around that place. I wanted out.
46:42
And so I want to
46:44
quit writing them checks and start receiving checks. That
46:46
was my goal. So that's
46:48
the first piece of advice. The second piece of advice
46:51
is I think there's a
46:53
little bit more. If I'm his mom
46:56
and dad, before I start writing
46:58
them checks, because basically I'm endorsing
47:00
this path, I want to
47:02
know more about where this is taking me. Because
47:06
education for education's sake is a
47:08
bad plan when you're this broke.
47:11
It's a luxury. It's a luxury.
47:13
And education that's not
47:15
for luxury is for return
47:17
on investment. I'm not
47:20
hearing a good return on investment here in
47:23
what you're describing. And so
47:25
if you're going to go an extra five years to
47:28
school beyond a normal
47:31
four or five years, now we're talking
47:33
about a decade you've been in
47:35
school, then you should
47:38
have pay north of six figures
47:40
day one. Because
47:42
you can graduate with a four year degree in
47:45
logistics right now and walk out making 90 to
47:47
100. You
47:49
can be a diesel mechanic with a
47:51
two year degree and make 90 to
47:53
100. So what's
47:56
your ROI on this extra five
47:58
years of PhDing
48:01
and it needs to be more than I want
48:03
to be called doctor. Oh Absolutely,
48:05
and I've got friends who are into environmental issues
48:08
And then they have their day job and then
48:10
they work on these things on the weekends. They
48:12
go to presentations They if
48:14
you're passionate about something you can study it all day
48:16
long, but you don't take five years
48:18
out off of life to
48:21
go do this thing unless it's leading towards
48:24
a an obtainable goal the PhD should
48:26
be a requirement for Additional
48:28
income that you wouldn't have without the PhD.
48:30
Yeah or licensure or something You have to
48:32
have a picture to licensure that which takes
48:34
you to additional income, you know, you pass
48:37
the bar, right? Hello, you know something like
48:39
that. It needs to take you somewhere and
48:42
So I really want to understand more about that if
48:44
I'm in your shoes because I love my son. This
48:47
is the Ramsey show Dr.
48:54
John Deloni Ramsey personality is
48:56
my co-host today open
48:58
phones a triple-8 8 2 5 5 2
49:03
2 5. Thanks for joining us. Alex is with
49:05
us in Chattanooga. Hi Alex. Welcome to the show
49:09
Hey Dave, how are you today better than I deserve?
49:11
What's up? Hey, I
49:13
love the show of the air network actually came to
49:15
my debt-free screen with you a couple years ago So
49:17
thank you for you and your team and all that
49:19
you do. Thank you No,
49:21
thank you So I think I
49:23
know the answer to this but I kind of want to get
49:26
to like I guess Kind
49:28
of a second question if I can I have
49:30
an opportunity. I'm a registered nurse.
49:32
I'm 35 single no kids at
49:34
it There's an opportunity
49:36
for me to stop travel nursing
49:40
and relocate to San Francisco
49:43
for a staff position the
49:47
I would be making with no overtime
49:49
about 225 and I've talked
49:51
to some people they can make about up to 300,000
49:53
a year With
49:56
overtime now, I do understand it's
50:00
San Francisco, it's very expensive and all of
50:02
those things. But just
50:04
for traveling, there's just a lot of uncertainty.
50:06
Your contract can be canceled at any time.
50:08
The pay rates have gone down since COVID.
50:10
I'm kind of tired of being on the
50:12
road, kind of all those
50:15
things. I've talked to people that have been out there and they like
50:17
it. California does have some
50:19
strong unions. And
50:22
with that, you have, you know, your guaranteed
50:25
staffing ratios, because you know, the other thing-
50:27
Okay, how can we help? I'm sorry. I
50:30
know at San Francisco, is it
50:32
crazy to think to move out there for, I
50:36
mean, what's the high cost of living
50:38
out there? Well,
50:42
I mean, like, you know, you've obviously analyzed
50:44
that. 300,000 in San Francisco is not 300,000 in Columbus,
50:46
Ohio, or
50:51
Dallas, Texas. You've
50:54
got a, number one, you got a 14% tax
50:56
now, income tax there, but you don't
50:58
have another state. And you've
51:01
got an extremely high cost of living. San Francisco is one
51:03
of the most expensive cities to live in in the world.
51:06
And so, as long as you've analyzed
51:08
all of that and you still want to go, I'm not
51:11
going to tell somebody not to do what they want to
51:13
do. That's what you want to do. Okay.
51:17
I mean, I mean, there's nothing wrong with what you're analyzing. What
51:20
is interesting to me though is this,
51:24
what I might think about if I'm you, because
51:26
I feel like you're, the
51:29
fact that you're asking us the question
51:31
is, it's
51:34
almost like you've got some hesitation.
51:37
Like you're not really complete
51:40
gun hole, right? So, one of
51:44
the things I always like to do is, I make
51:46
better decisions if I have lots of options. You
51:48
presented me only two options, a
51:51
declining income with travel and
51:53
your declining desire to travel,
51:57
versus San Francisco. Those are only two
51:59
options. What about a third
52:01
or fourth or fifth option that includes
52:05
other cities at 200,000 that nets
52:10
out of lifestyle and taxes about
52:12
the same? And
52:15
it's a quality of life you like more or less.
52:17
I don't know. But
52:20
it feels like you have to take this because
52:22
it's your only exit from the road. And
52:24
that's simply not accurate. Yes,
52:29
sir. I completely agree. Yeah, I'm
52:31
essentially looking forward to, like I said, I'm
52:33
single. I want to go somewhere and settle
52:35
some roots. And so I
52:38
can, as a nurse, I did have the luxury
52:40
of going those places. I mean, just nursing pay,
52:42
like I said, I live in Chattanooga. The pay
52:44
in the South is just
52:46
one of the lowest. I've lived in Memphis
52:48
and traveled around the South for the last
52:50
couple of years. I
52:53
mean, the pay that I got offered
52:55
here in Chattanooga was $33 an hour and extra. But
52:59
again, you're using a barbell, dude. You've
53:03
got one on one side and one on the other. There's a
53:05
big middle range there. I've
53:08
gotten myself in trouble chasing a salary
53:10
amount that made me feel like I
53:12
was being valued and not doing the
53:14
math in a 360-degree way. And
53:18
again, if you keep saying I'm single, if you're
53:20
single and you think the San Francisco vibe is
53:22
cool and that's a vibe you want to live
53:25
in, it's a lifestyle, the environment you
53:30
want to plug into socially, that kind of stuff,
53:33
have at it, dude. I got no issue with that
53:35
at all. I'm
53:37
a redneck hillbilly. The
53:40
chances of me doing that is zero because
53:42
I would stand out like a
53:44
sore thumb there, so I wouldn't fit in and
53:47
wouldn't want to. But that's okay.
53:49
That doesn't mean it's not for you. So
53:51
I can't advise you on that part of it. You've got to
53:54
decide that for yourself. I
54:00
am going to challenge you to find three more solid
54:02
offers and quit just blowing
54:04
up the entire South. Oh, come on, give me a
54:06
break. Freaking Atlanta, Georgia, Nashville,
54:08
Tennessee, which is the center of Hospital
54:11
Corporation of America and three other major
54:13
hospital companies, a major medical corridor,
54:15
it runs right through freaking
54:18
Nashville, is underpaid. Give me a break. Not
54:20
a chance. Not a chance.
54:23
So, the other thing, go spend some time.
54:26
When my wife and I were deciding, we
54:28
decided, hey, we're going to leave West Texas,
54:32
we went and visited some places. One of them was
54:34
in Nashville. We came here to watch, to see a
54:36
concert and to just spend a couple of days here.
54:39
And we left thinking, all right, that one's
54:41
on our list. And so go experience the
54:43
place, man. But I think you're
54:45
tied to, somebody said 300,000 and your heart went, that's
54:47
right. And
54:50
you're going to make it work. You're
54:53
going to tell yourself any number of stories to back up,
54:55
I want to make $300,000 and
54:58
good on you, but don't
55:01
do it just for that number. Yeah,
55:03
that would be a mistake because I think you could
55:05
have a comparable number other places.
55:07
If you put a little research into
55:10
your job hunt, you know, get on
55:12
kingcoleman.com and let's lay that
55:14
out. But again, if you just decide
55:16
to go do it, Kristen, Alex, there's
55:18
nothing wrong with what you're doing. Beautiful
55:21
part of the country. Absolutely
55:23
gorgeous, you're right. And
55:25
there's a lot of very cool stuff there. There's a
55:27
lot of very uncool stuff there too. But
55:30
it's just a matter of where you want to live and what
55:32
you want to do and what you want to plug into. But
55:36
no, is it a slam dunk decision? No,
55:38
it's not. And you make
55:40
better decisions the more options you have.
55:42
Options, options, options gives you power. It
55:45
gives you the sense to calm down. You can
55:47
negotiate better with the other option if you've got
55:50
real options outside of your thing. So
55:53
always have lots of different things you can do
55:55
when you're making a decision. Open
55:57
phones at 888-825-4243. 5-225.
56:00
I was with Ken
56:04
Coleman and some of the guys working on his team earlier
56:06
this morning we're talking about one of the things that's popping
56:08
up right now with people looking
56:11
for positions is soft
56:14
skills. We've got
56:16
a group of people regardless
56:18
of age that or
56:20
which generation if you want to label it one way
56:23
or another that don't
56:25
have good EQ,
56:27
emotional quotient. They cannot
56:31
do conflict. They cannot
56:34
do basic conversations. Look people in the eye,
56:37
string a sentence together,
56:39
have a standard normal
56:41
in-person person-to-person conversation because
56:43
they've done everything on their phone and
56:46
their brains are wired and
56:49
they've lost the ability to do it other than
56:51
they can text you across the room. They can't
56:53
sit and talk to you like a person and
56:56
so these soft skills are a big problem. Decision-making
56:58
is one of those soft skills because what happens
57:00
in the digital world if you don't like something
57:02
you just move. You
57:05
can't do that if you move to San Francisco. It's
57:09
harder to undo real decisions instead
57:11
of virtual decisions. Virtual
57:13
means not real. That's
57:17
what it means literally. That's the meaning
57:19
of the word. It's not real. It's
57:21
a fake version of real. That's what
57:24
virtual means. Look it up in the
57:26
dictionary. So you know soft skills in
57:28
that goes decision-making. So decision-making is one
57:30
good decision-making rule. You
57:33
need more options. Another decision-making rule is
57:36
the more important the decision, the
57:38
larger the impact of the decision,
57:41
the slower you make the decision.
57:43
That's why you don't go out on a date and
57:45
get married the next day. Right?
57:48
That's why you don't go look at a car and
57:50
buy it when you walk on the lot. It's
57:53
why you don't buy a house
57:55
having looked at only one. Right?
57:57
Big decisions require length of time.
58:00
time to make wise decisions. Small decisions you
58:02
can make fast. Because you can
58:04
not, you know, what pack of gum do I want?
58:06
You can make that decision. If it's wrong, it doesn't
58:08
kill you. But the other stuff will throw you off.
58:10
Slow down on the big stuff. This
58:13
is the Ramsey Show. Dr.
58:19
John Deloni, Ramsey Personality, is
58:22
my co-host today. Well, let's
58:24
face it, taxes suck. They're
58:27
confusing. We don't like
58:29
them. No one wants to finance
58:31
a $25,000 toilet seat, and we all know we're
58:34
doing it. We all know the government's irresponsible
58:36
with our money when we send it to them, but we have
58:38
to do it. Because there's jail time
58:40
involved. So we have to do it, right? So
58:42
we're going to do what we're supposed to do.
58:45
So people ask all the time, what's the
58:47
truth about taxes? Well, here's the
58:49
truth. Don't trust just anybody with your taxes. Because
58:52
a lot of people say that taxes are like a lot of things. A
58:54
lot of people say they know something about it, and they don't. So
58:56
if you have a complicated return, we
58:59
have vetted and worked with, in
59:01
detail, done the due diligence on
59:04
about a thousand folks that are
59:06
professional tax preparers that can help
59:08
you with a really
59:10
complicated return. They're
59:12
Ramsey trusted. The reason they're trusted is
59:15
we check them out up and down,
59:17
right? And so just
59:19
go to Ramsey trusted or
59:22
go to ramsesolutions.com/taxpro, and
59:24
you can find the one in your area, and they'll sit
59:26
down with you. Now, if you do not have a complicated
59:28
return, I wouldn't spend that much
59:30
money. I would just go get the Ramsey
59:32
SmartTax software. It's very inexpensive, 30, 40 bucks.
59:35
There's no extra add-ons, no gotchas. I'm not going
59:37
to try to sell you a credit card or
59:39
some other crap like these people at TurboTax. Their
59:41
whole thing is they want to sell you something
59:44
else other than tax work. And
59:47
so our deal is real simple. That's why there's
59:49
now, this year, I think they'll
59:51
have about 100,000 people prepare their taxes with
59:53
the Ramsey SmartTax software because it's
59:55
very simple. You just try to boom, boom,
59:58
boom, boom. There we go. ramsesolutions.com. We'll
1:00:01
hook you up. Kristin's with us
1:00:03
in San Antonio. Hi, Kristin. Welcome to the Ramsey
1:00:06
Show. Hey, Dave
1:00:08
and John. I
1:00:10
am kind of considering maybe
1:00:12
buying my mom a car. She's turning 70. Very
1:00:15
soon. I'm super excited for
1:00:17
her. I just want to do something
1:00:19
totally generous, just blow her mind, and
1:00:22
just want to be smart about it too. That's
1:00:24
awesome. Very cool. Very cool,
1:00:26
Kristin. Yeah. Yeah.
1:00:29
I assume you have the money in cash. I got my mom
1:00:31
a high five when she turned 70. Now I'm feeling bad. Well,
1:00:35
I've given her many high fives, but I'm ready to
1:00:37
maybe do a little bit more. I do have the
1:00:39
money in cash. How much is the car? Well,
1:00:43
I haven't even started looking too
1:00:45
seriously because I just didn't
1:00:47
know if I was being crazy or not. I don't know. What
1:00:50
do you think of it roughly? I mean, are you talking about spending $100,000 or $50,000 or
1:00:52
$10,000? Between
1:00:55
$25,000 and $30,000. Okay. All
1:00:57
right. How much is it? Okay.
1:01:01
Good for you. Getting there. Good
1:01:03
for you. So what are you, $50,000? Yeah.
1:01:07
Good for you. What do you make? Thank
1:01:09
you. Last year, made a little over $200,000. Hopefully
1:01:13
on track for that this year, which is kind of
1:01:15
why. You're killing it. And you're out of
1:01:18
debt? I am. Totally debt
1:01:20
free. I have 65 left on my house.
1:01:22
Good for you. So I'm still close. Good for
1:01:24
you. Yeah. Thank
1:01:26
you. Okay. That sounds very
1:01:28
wise to me. I
1:01:32
just, I'm so frugal. I don't
1:01:34
spend money. I just want to
1:01:36
pull her mind. I just, I
1:01:39
think that would be really cool. I mean,
1:01:41
is there any issue with the relationship with her? No.
1:01:45
My mom is not controlling,
1:01:47
not enabled. You're not trying to make up
1:01:50
for some childhood scar by doing this or.
1:01:53
No. I just want to bless her. She
1:01:56
took care of my dad when he was sick. He
1:01:59
passed away. 25 years ago, he was 40,
1:02:01
I died from cancer. She's very
1:02:03
remarried. She lives just a quiet
1:02:05
knife. She'd be there for my sister and I
1:02:08
in a heartbeat. With anything, she's
1:02:10
supported me my whole life and no
1:02:13
guilt, no nothing, just, I
1:02:15
just love my amazing mom and I just wanna do
1:02:17
something outrageous for her. Touchdown.
1:02:21
You're very cool. I really like
1:02:23
you. A lot. Thank
1:02:26
you. Yeah, I hope my kid says something about me like that. That'd
1:02:29
be neat. I can't speak, Kristen,
1:02:31
because I'm gonna cry and I haven't done that yet on any
1:02:33
of these shows and I'm pretty dang close. I
1:02:35
cried in Apple Beach commercials. Kristen,
1:02:39
you're pretty amazing. You're pretty amazing, honey. Go buy
1:02:41
the car. There's absolutely zero check in anything you're
1:02:43
saying. Please send us a photo or a video
1:02:45
of your mom getting it and send it here
1:02:48
to the guys on the show. Yeah,
1:02:50
we'll put it up on the YouTube. I wanna see it personally.
1:02:53
That's a beautiful story. Yeah, it's a great story.
1:02:55
I've got friends that have done that. A
1:02:57
lot of people, but I wanna tell you guys. I
1:03:00
wanna tell you guys. I want you to tell
1:03:02
a friend's family. It can be just for her.
1:03:04
And so I definitely will take a photo and. One
1:03:07
of my favorite stories, and we've videoed it. We haven't played
1:03:09
it in a while. I don't know if it's on the
1:03:11
YouTube channel or not. It's an old story. A buddy of
1:03:13
mine, his dad,
1:03:16
this friend of mine is 60. So
1:03:19
his dad, or is 50
1:03:21
something, right? So his
1:03:23
dad sold a 1930 or 40 or something
1:03:26
car when,
1:03:30
that wouldn't have been that old. It would have
1:03:32
been 1960s or something. Okay. Oh,
1:03:34
I knew you were talking about, yeah. I'm trying to think. And
1:03:36
he sold the car when his kid was, when my buddy was
1:03:38
born, his dad couldn't afford this car anymore.
1:03:40
He sold it. He sold it to a friend down the
1:03:42
street. That friend kept it for many,
1:03:45
many years and sold it to a pastor. And
1:03:49
my buddy now is making big money and he
1:03:51
went and found that pastor still had it, talked
1:03:53
him into selling it back to him and
1:03:56
gave it back to his dad. Like 50
1:03:58
years later. I Saw that video. That when
1:04:00
got me get out and that's
1:04:02
that's a version of what you're
1:04:04
doing writer and it's really cool
1:04:06
is very to our artists you
1:04:08
baby steps. Seven is build wealth
1:04:10
and Gales. We. Tell people
1:04:13
what I'm live like no one else
1:04:15
so later you can give and li
1:04:17
of like no one else and that's
1:04:19
where exactly what you're doing. You're amazing
1:04:21
by your mama car you to touchdown.
1:04:24
That's. So cool, So fine. This.
1:04:27
Is what money's good for. It's
1:04:29
not good for much else. Feed.
1:04:31
You. Legion. And seat
1:04:34
others. It's. About what is good
1:04:36
for this really good carriers were the
1:04:38
Senate all am today Georgia Hey Carey
1:04:40
welcome to the Ramsey show! Or
1:04:43
yell better than I deserve. What's up? I'm
1:04:47
okay. So either things yourself about
1:04:49
eight months. I'm undated that number
1:04:51
two am I paid off and out
1:04:53
or thousand dollars. Worth a damn, About
1:04:55
ninety three thousand and left ago. But
1:04:58
that my mortgage. So including mortgage
1:05:00
on. Question Out Had
1:05:02
some ah work care guy
1:05:04
com man and said that
1:05:06
I need a new H
1:05:08
taxistan I may need a
1:05:10
new electrical more pair Adams
1:05:12
Plumbing altogether it's can weed
1:05:14
out twenty one thousand dollars
1:05:16
and I use. Yes,
1:05:19
Ivory. Stop stop of
1:05:21
images thrive in the Aids virus. Now
1:05:23
there is a segment of that world
1:05:25
that does that. Don't. Let that go
1:05:27
back. In your house is a crook. I'm
1:05:32
calling Bs. He told
1:05:34
your family was in danger didn't. See.
1:05:38
That in our culture quality now and they
1:05:40
be at your house My burn down and
1:05:42
it'll be your faulted for children Bad. Guy
1:05:45
says it's almost as got back in your
1:05:47
house with her. You. Can tell A nose
1:05:50
for up drone. That. Will
1:05:52
Lay. Down there's a. There's. a segment
1:05:54
of the heating and air business that does
1:05:56
a wonderful job in there is a segments
1:05:59
that are completion And they will come
1:06:01
in and tell you that your furnace is leaking
1:06:03
and your you know your everybody in the house
1:06:05
is gonna dive carbon Monoxide poisoning if you don't
1:06:07
fix it although it's been this way for five
1:06:10
years, and we all seem to be fine But
1:06:13
yeah, this is a this is bull
1:06:15
crap now. Do you maybe need a
1:06:17
new furnace in the future? Yeah, but
1:06:19
is it nearly as expensive or? Urgent
1:06:23
as you were told a hundred
1:06:25
percent No, you can do
1:06:27
this much cheaper than this bozo, and
1:06:30
it's probably not as urgent as he
1:06:32
said I'm not a hundred percent sure,
1:06:34
but I'm ninety nine point seven percent
1:06:36
sure Okay I've
1:06:39
already put about fifty five hundred dollars
1:06:42
into the house to get the crawl
1:06:44
space waterproof The house
1:06:46
is about thirty years old, and I only
1:06:48
plan on being here about another seven years.
1:06:51
Do you? Think I
1:06:53
should put more money into the house Well,
1:06:56
I mean if the if the heating and air is not working
1:06:58
you're going to have to fix the heating and air But right
1:07:00
now we don't have that issue Okay,
1:07:03
yeah, you're gonna have to put more money in the house
1:07:05
if you live there in some breaks You're gonna have to
1:07:07
do that, but do you upgrade? $21,000
1:07:11
worth of stuff cuz some bozo no and
1:07:13
carry you owe a hundred thousand dollars don't you? 93
1:07:21
not including my mortgage yeah Stop stop fixing
1:07:24
your house unless something's broken. It's in
1:07:26
dire shape nothing's leaking or Sparking
1:07:28
or anything like that just keep moving
1:07:31
yeah, this is the Ramsey show If
1:07:36
you've taken financial peace University You know
1:07:38
how life-changing it is and there's no
1:07:41
better way to share that hope than
1:07:43
by leading an FPU class at your
1:07:45
church Because right now someone you know
1:07:48
in your church is struggling bad. They're
1:07:50
drowning in debt They're scared to death and
1:07:52
don't know what to do and you can
1:07:54
be the one to step up and give
1:07:57
them hope just like your FPU coordinator did
1:07:59
for you Start making a
1:08:01
difference as a coordinator by
1:08:03
going to fpu.com/lead Dr.
1:08:08
John Deloni Ramsey personality is my
1:08:10
co-host today open phones a triple-eight
1:08:13
825 5 2 to
1:08:15
5 Well,
1:08:18
we've got three events coming up where
1:08:20
you can get Ramsey teachings live in
1:08:23
person in an auditorium with thousands
1:08:25
of other people Just like you total
1:08:28
money makeover weekend event May
1:08:31
10th and 11th this two-day event is
1:08:34
the ultimate motivator to get fired up
1:08:37
join us in Nashville And you can leave money stress at
1:08:39
the door. We're not only going to get you out of
1:08:41
debt We're going to get you into wealth we're going to
1:08:43
talk to you about generosity how to get your income up
1:08:46
How to walk through the relational issues as you're
1:08:48
doing all of this How
1:08:50
to be married or not married with money and without money.
1:08:53
We're going to walk through the whole thing it is a
1:08:55
total Money makeover weekend
1:08:57
May 10 and 11 on
1:08:59
the campus here the Ramsey Event
1:09:02
Center on the hill it only holds 2,400 It
1:09:05
is on its way to being an early sellout and
1:09:07
you need to get your tickets now The
1:09:10
next thing is I'm going to be doing
1:09:12
something. I've never done before Dave Ramsey's investing
1:09:14
essentials a two-night virtual event May
1:09:16
21 and 22
1:09:19
it's my personal playbook on investing in real
1:09:21
estate George Campbell and I are going
1:09:23
to unpack the basics of investing and also go deep
1:09:25
on Real estate and other investing
1:09:27
and the scams that are out there and
1:09:30
the things that the rich don't do the
1:09:32
lies that are told To you by tick-tock
1:09:34
and other social media platforms about this The
1:09:37
last one is a money and marriage event next fall October
1:09:39
24 and 25. This is dr. John
1:09:42
Deloney and Rachel Cruz
1:09:44
with real-life Answers to
1:09:46
your hard questions about money and marriage
1:09:48
a whole weekend away with your
1:09:50
spouse in Nashville again The
1:09:53
Ramsey Event Center all of
1:09:55
these events are available at Ramsey solutions
1:09:57
comm slash events all of
1:09:59
these events are fun, you will laugh, you will
1:10:01
cry, you can bring the person who thinks you're
1:10:03
crazy for doing this stuff, they will leave being
1:10:05
as crazy as you are. They'll
1:10:07
be on board, on game, ready
1:10:10
to go. We will convince
1:10:12
them because the stuff we teach
1:10:14
absolutely works and we love helping
1:10:16
people. So make plans to attend one
1:10:18
of these. We would love to have you here on campus
1:10:20
with us and stop by anytime
1:10:23
and watch the show. We do it
1:10:25
on the glass here right now from
1:10:27
1 to 4 central time every day
1:10:29
Monday through Friday. There's a couple
1:10:31
of Ramsey personalities sitting in these seats. I'm usually one
1:10:33
of them if I'm in town and then the rest
1:10:35
of them mix and match and fill it
1:10:37
in and that's how we do it. So come and join us.
1:10:39
We'd love to have you. Shawn is with us. Shawn
1:10:41
is in Kansas City. Hi Shawn. Welcome
1:10:43
to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank
1:10:46
you so much for having me on. Sure. What's
1:10:48
up? Well, I
1:10:51
wanted to ask you about the baby steps. I've
1:10:53
been watching the show for about a month and
1:10:55
I suppose I should give you a little bit of
1:10:57
backstory as well just to give you an idea of
1:11:00
why I'm asking the question. My
1:11:02
wife and I just had our first son. Yay.
1:11:05
A couple months old. Thank you.
1:11:08
Yeah. So John was nice enough
1:11:10
to help me out there. He decided to throw up his
1:11:12
lunch while I was waiting. So
1:11:14
I wanted to ask about baby steps
1:11:16
3 and 4 because
1:11:19
I was actually able to get some
1:11:21
401k from my previous job and
1:11:24
I was able to actually save up quite a bit
1:11:26
of money while I worked at that job. And
1:11:29
so doing baby step 2 to pay down
1:11:31
all the debt is technically something I can
1:11:33
do. But then with
1:11:35
the amount of money I would free up each month,
1:11:37
it would seem like it would take me forever to
1:11:39
do baby step 3. And
1:11:42
then when I saw baby step 4, and correct
1:11:44
me if I'm wrong, because you match your employer,
1:11:47
and then you do 15% and 15% I believe. So
1:11:51
it just seems like- I'm confused. There's only 15%
1:11:53
and 15%. So
1:11:56
baby step 1 is $1,000 in the bank. Baby
1:11:59
step 2 is your- pay off all of your debt except
1:12:01
your home. Do you have any debt except your home?
1:12:05
We do, yes. Okay, how much is that? So
1:12:09
that is close to 40,000. On what? So we have
1:12:15
two car payments, we
1:12:17
have a hospital bill for my son's birth, and
1:12:19
then we also had to take him to the emergency room,
1:12:22
and then my wife's student loan debt.
1:12:25
And how much is her student loan debt is
1:12:27
how much of the car? How much is the
1:12:29
student loan debt? I'm sorry. 33,000. So
1:12:32
most of this, your two car payments are $7,000? If
1:12:37
I pay off both the cars... I asked you how much
1:12:39
debt you had, you said $40,000. Then you told
1:12:42
me you had $33,000 of student loan debt. That means you've got $7,000
1:12:44
on two cars? And
1:12:48
the hospital bills. You only owe
1:12:50
$7,000 on two cars. I owe $5,000 on the two cars. Okay,
1:12:57
all right. Wow, okay. Yeah, because my son's hospital bill
1:12:59
was $3,000. I got you, I got you. Okay, I'm
1:13:01
just... because I was thinking you... I thought you didn't
1:13:03
tell me all the debt right. That's what I was...
1:13:05
Okay, it is right. I got you. Okay. So
1:13:08
your household income is what? About
1:13:11
$70,000. Good. And you're 26,
1:13:13
right? No,
1:13:15
I'm 31. Thank you for telling
1:13:17
me that. Okay, that's okay. I mean, you
1:13:19
got a brand new baby and you're making $70,000,
1:13:21
right? So, all right. And what
1:13:24
do you do for a living? I'm
1:13:26
an electrical apprentice. Okay, all right.
1:13:29
So first thing is we clear up the $40,000. Now
1:13:32
you don't have any payments. Then
1:13:34
you build an emergency fund of three to six
1:13:36
months of expenses because some of your debt is
1:13:39
due to not having an emergency fund. Right?
1:13:44
Okay. And then once
1:13:46
we have an emergency fund of three to six months
1:13:48
of expenses, how fast can you do that? You don't
1:13:50
have any payments in the world. You haven't been living
1:13:52
on a written budget yet. You've just been discussing the
1:13:54
possibility of doing this whole Ramsey thing. But once you're
1:13:56
living on a written budget for 90 days, you're going
1:13:58
to feel like you got a... to raise because your
1:14:00
money is going to work a lot harder. Right
1:14:02
now there is a lot of waste in your budget. My
1:14:06
wife and I were discussing that and how we
1:14:08
can cut back on the budget. You haven't done
1:14:10
the budget yet. Well,
1:14:13
we were discussing things we can cut back on.
1:14:16
It's theory. When
1:14:18
you actually start doing it, you
1:14:21
will find more margin than you realize
1:14:23
you have. You're doing all
1:14:25
this stuff in your head right
1:14:28
now and hypotheticals rather than actually
1:14:30
freaking doing it. So actually
1:14:32
start doing a budget for 90 days and then I
1:14:34
promise you from 32 years of doing what I
1:14:36
do, you will feel like you've gotten a raise. You
1:14:38
will find money you didn't realize you had. Now, then
1:14:41
you're going to be able to build a 3
1:14:43
to 6 months of emergency fund. It's going to take
1:14:45
you about 6 months to a year
1:14:47
after you pay off the $40,000 in debt. Then
1:14:50
and only then are you going to start putting
1:14:53
money into your 401K and then
1:14:55
and only then baby step
1:14:57
4 is 15% of your household income. Does
1:15:00
your wife work outside the home? Yes,
1:15:03
she works outside the home. What does she make? She
1:15:08
makes about, so
1:15:10
together we make 70, she makes about 35 of
1:15:12
that. Okay.
1:15:15
Alright. So when will your apprenticeship be done? In
1:15:19
a couple of years. I just started about 6 months
1:15:21
ago. What will your income do then? Double?
1:15:26
I'll go up to $40 an hour. Yeah, and
1:15:28
you're at $20 now? Yeah.
1:15:31
Yeah, it's double. Kind of like double. Yeah,
1:15:35
okay. And so then
1:15:37
what we're going to do is you're going
1:15:39
to be making $100,000 a year and you will
1:15:43
be debt free and you're putting $15,000 a year,
1:15:45
15% of your household income regardless of
1:15:49
match. You put in 15%
1:15:51
of your household income. So by then you've been making $100,000, you're
1:15:53
putting $15,000 away and by then you'll be 35
1:15:57
years old and so you have 30 years if
1:15:59
you never. get a raise to invest $15,000 a year. Okay.
1:16:04
And that's going to amount to about $8 million at
1:16:06
65. Okay.
1:16:10
So I understand, um, I
1:16:13
understand what you're saying, but my question is, and
1:16:16
if I'm doing this all in my
1:16:18
head, right, how do we
1:16:20
plan for the extra money properly
1:16:23
when baby steps two and three are essentially
1:16:25
what you say, living on beans and rice,
1:16:28
because if I have to take my son to the
1:16:30
emergency room again, I have to get a
1:16:32
car. Um, the
1:16:34
only way, you know, how to get a car
1:16:37
was half to get a car. Well,
1:16:40
in case something happens and we have to pay
1:16:43
for it to get repaired or we have to
1:16:45
fixing a car could have been by, you have
1:16:47
a thousand dollars. Or
1:16:50
if one of the vehicles breaks, bro, what if we get
1:16:52
by? Keep
1:16:55
doing what you've been doing and you stay broke as hell
1:16:57
to the rest of your life, you could
1:16:59
do that too. That's an option. So
1:17:03
my question is in those
1:17:05
emergencies, I have the savings fund for three to
1:17:07
six months, which you recommend I
1:17:10
pull from that resource. Yeah. It's an emergency. Yes. Yeah.
1:17:12
If you get us to go to emergency, you have
1:17:14
your three to six months. If you're in baby step
1:17:16
two, no, you're only going to have a thousand dollars.
1:17:19
So you're going to have, you're going to have to stop your baby. You're
1:17:22
going to stop your baby step to your debt snowball. That
1:17:24
point and fix that. If that happens during the two years that
1:17:26
it takes you to get out of debt, but you should be
1:17:28
out of debt in two years or
1:17:30
less. So listen,
1:17:32
dude, you're over analyzing this. You need
1:17:35
to go do it. That's
1:17:37
the difference. And then tell me how it's
1:17:39
wrong. Millions of people have done what
1:17:41
I'm telling you to do. It absolutely works. This
1:17:44
is the Ramsey show. Live
1:17:50
on the headquarters of Ramsey
1:17:53
solutions. It's the Ramsey show where
1:17:55
we help people build wealth, do
1:17:58
work that they love. create
1:18:00
actual amazing relations. Dr.
1:18:03
Drownedalow, you Ramsey personality,
1:18:05
Dr. Drownedalow is my
1:18:07
co-host today. Thank you
1:18:10
for joining us. You can hear him every week
1:18:12
on the Ramsey Networks as well. You want to
1:18:14
be sure and tune in on that and check
1:18:16
out many of his number one best-selling books on
1:18:19
relationships, boundaries, mental health, and
1:18:21
such. So we're here to help. The
1:18:23
phone number is 828-825-5225. Luke's in Kansas City. Luke,
1:18:28
what's up in your world? Hi,
1:18:30
thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we
1:18:32
help? Yeah, so
1:18:34
I am considering going into business with my father,
1:18:36
and my question is, I wanted to see, do
1:18:39
you have any advice for going into business with
1:18:41
family, and what should I be most aware of?
1:18:44
Yeah, don't. I'm just kidding. Still kidding. I'm
1:18:47
sitting by a guy who runs a pretty successful family
1:18:49
business, so I'm just being a smart aleck dude. I
1:18:52
enjoy working with my family
1:18:54
in the business, but
1:18:57
we have worked at it so
1:19:00
that we could enjoy it. All right,
1:19:03
so I can do a whole seminar on this. It takes
1:19:05
eight hours. I'll try to give you some high points. Okay?
1:19:08
Yeah. Number one, when
1:19:11
you're on site working
1:19:13
with your father, he
1:19:15
is not your father.
1:19:17
He's your boss. Okay.
1:19:20
So you don't use your whiny,
1:19:22
teenager voice on him, right?
1:19:26
Yeah. You treat him like
1:19:28
you would treat your boss at another
1:19:30
place. He owns the freaking company. You
1:19:32
work for him. You're an
1:19:34
employee. Act like it. Okay?
1:19:38
And he, in turn, my advice to
1:19:40
him is to treat your son with
1:19:43
the same dignity and
1:19:45
respect and compensation that
1:19:48
you would another team member in that
1:19:50
same position. So
1:19:53
when my son came on board out of college,
1:19:55
he started selling radio ads, which is one of
1:19:57
the hardest jobs in the building, up
1:20:00
with these things called ad agencies, which are a
1:20:02
royal pain in the butt. And
1:20:04
he had a really tough year, year and a half, but
1:20:06
he wasn't working for me. He was working for a guy that
1:20:09
worked for a guy that worked for a guy that worked
1:20:11
for me. Several layers down in
1:20:13
the company, right? But he was getting the college knocked
1:20:15
off of him for sure. And
1:20:18
so he had a tough year and a
1:20:20
half here, but he got paid the same
1:20:23
pay that the other sales people
1:20:25
selling ads got paid. And
1:20:27
he treated me with the same respect that he would
1:20:30
the CEO of a company that he worked for if
1:20:32
he had gone to work somewhere else. And I treated
1:20:34
him the same way with respect while we're on site.
1:20:37
My kids don't even call me dad on
1:20:39
site. They call me Dave. Because
1:20:44
if you go into a meeting and say, my
1:20:46
daddy said it's a different meeting,
1:20:48
right? Then Broom just tilted. Yeah,
1:20:51
bro. Let me tell you the first time
1:20:53
Rachel Cruz started saying Dave freaking said this
1:20:55
and this in that meeting. And I
1:20:58
finally said, are you setting me up? Am
1:21:00
I supposed to be like, yeah, or no. I
1:21:03
didn't know what to do. And that's when she clued me in. No,
1:21:05
no, no. Here at work, he's
1:21:07
Dave. He's Dave. At home. And
1:21:09
when I'm at home, I put on my Papa Dave hat and I spoil
1:21:11
her kids. That's my job. Give
1:21:14
them lots of sugar and send them home. So that's my deal, right? And
1:21:18
so when we're at work, we wear work hats, and when
1:21:20
we're at home, we change our hat. And
1:21:23
so I'm dad or Papa Dave or whatever at
1:21:25
home. And I'm father-in-law
1:21:27
at home. That
1:21:30
kind of thing. I have daughters and-
1:21:32
How do you keep that, how do you set
1:21:34
that boundary to be consistent? Wait, we actually- You
1:21:36
don't actually fall into that. We police it on
1:21:38
each other. We don't violate. We don't
1:21:40
talk business either except on site. Okay.
1:21:43
So Christmas dinner is not spoiled for everyone else
1:21:45
by the two goopers that work there. Right?
1:21:48
Because nobody else wants to hear all the crap that you two are going
1:21:51
to deal with. Yeah. Your
1:21:53
wife doesn't want to hear it all. She hears it all when you
1:21:55
come home at night anyway. That kind of stuff. So
1:21:58
you need to have some onsite, offsite. rules
1:22:00
like that and he needs
1:22:02
to pay you fairly but not overpay
1:22:04
you. Pay you for the position,
1:22:06
not for the position of son. And
1:22:11
then you need to get in there and earn your dadgum
1:22:13
stripes and earn the right to
1:22:15
move up to the organization so that no one looks
1:22:17
down on you when you do move up in the
1:22:20
organization because this guy worked twice as hard
1:22:22
as everybody else. You
1:22:25
got to work twice as hard to be respected
1:22:27
because they immediately think you're the doober boss's son
1:22:30
and you got to earn the team, earn the rest of
1:22:33
the team. And our kids do that. They've
1:22:35
done a wonderful job of working,
1:22:37
they work their tails off man
1:22:40
and our team
1:22:42
has great respect for them and I'm very proud
1:22:44
of that. So that's a couple of things that
1:22:46
you can do. Another thing
1:22:48
or two to remember is that
1:22:52
no family business is more or
1:22:55
less functional than the family is.
1:22:59
So if you have tremendous family dysfunction,
1:23:01
if your relationship with your dad is
1:23:03
wicked sideways, don't expect it to
1:23:05
be anything else when you go to work over there. It's
1:23:07
going to be just as dumb as it is otherwise. But
1:23:09
if you and your dad get along good, you like fishing
1:23:11
together, hunting together, you like doing whatever it is you do
1:23:13
together, all that kind of stuff,
1:23:16
you like hanging out as two adults now together,
1:23:18
then that's going to work real good inside the
1:23:20
business. My son and I, we ski together,
1:23:22
we do all kinds of, we shoot together, we do all kinds
1:23:24
of stuff. My daughters and
1:23:26
I do stuff, we enjoy each other
1:23:28
as adults. And so that's
1:23:30
going to show up in the business. But
1:23:33
if crazy is your family script, then expect
1:23:35
crazy to be in the business, right? So
1:23:39
it doesn't go away. And so that's the problem with
1:23:41
it. And then
1:23:43
lastly, someday your dad's going to want
1:23:45
you to, you're going to want to take
1:23:47
this place over and he's going to want to step aside and
1:23:49
hand it off. You guys need to start talking about that sooner
1:23:52
rather than later. Your dad
1:23:55
founded this business? Yeah,
1:23:58
it's more complicated. kids and that in
1:24:01
a roundabout way, yes. Okay, all right. Well
1:24:03
the person that starts a business from the
1:24:05
ground up has the hardest time handing it
1:24:07
off. Yeah. Founders
1:24:09
have emotional trouble handing it off. I'm a
1:24:11
founder. Founders are hard,
1:24:13
we're stubborn. It's how we pull this
1:24:15
crap off because we would not be denied. And
1:24:18
then when it comes time to turn it over, it's
1:24:20
very difficult to do that. It's like putting your kid
1:24:23
out for adoption. And
1:24:25
it's really hard for founders emotionally to do
1:24:27
that. So I've had to really concentrate on
1:24:29
that and work hard at it. It's not
1:24:31
been an easy emotional journey for me to
1:24:34
turn this thing over. And my
1:24:36
son's not the president of Ramsey and I'm the CEO,
1:24:39
but he runs a lot more of the day to day of
1:24:41
this place than I do today. And
1:24:43
so, but that's
1:24:45
been a 12 year journey to
1:24:48
get to that point. It didn't just come out
1:24:50
of college and step into that. I can promise
1:24:52
you that. Let's talk more about your admission of
1:24:54
being stubborn and hardheaded. Let's go there for a
1:24:56
minute. I'm just kidding. Why? You
1:24:59
need some counseling hours or something? No,
1:25:01
hey, I wouldn't have,
1:25:04
if I was just a spectator watching you on
1:25:06
the stage say those things you just said, I
1:25:09
would think, yeah, but I've seen
1:25:11
it. And I'll tell you, the
1:25:13
first few times I was around you guys at the
1:25:15
lake house versus in the office, it's
1:25:19
almost like being on the boat all day
1:25:21
and getting onto land. And you have to take a minute
1:25:23
to settle in. Like, oh yeah.
1:25:26
We completely changed gears. It's a
1:25:29
totally different shift, right? And almost
1:25:32
not quite the same. There's still a level of respect
1:25:34
and distance, but there's a very
1:25:36
distinct friend Dave, like when we're all hanging out versus
1:25:38
when we're here at the office, we're here at the
1:25:40
office to tangle up. It should be, yeah. I
1:25:43
mean, who wants to hang out with a twerp on
1:25:45
a boat? Or who wants to go, yeah, with their
1:25:47
boss, who's still trying, yeah. He's waking a finger, yeah.
1:25:49
Yeah, it's, yeah. No, it's
1:25:52
pretty impressive to watch it be separate
1:25:54
like that. But it's an intentional Act.
1:25:56
It's a practice. It doesn't occur, and we've
1:25:58
studied it to learn how to do that
1:26:00
from A- the Google search. Great question Low.
1:26:02
thank you for joining us. You want to
1:26:04
hear more things like that? We do a
1:26:07
podcast every we called Entre Leadership Rods calls
1:26:09
from small businesses and you can check that
1:26:11
out. Swimmer Ramsey Network productions highly rated as
1:26:13
well. Here's.
1:26:17
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1:26:21
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1:26:49
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1:26:51
Ramsey personality is my So host. We're
1:26:53
so glad you are here. A guy's
1:26:56
our tell you thank you! Last week
1:26:58
was the largest ratings week in the
1:27:00
history of the Ramsey Show and thirty
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two years. The. Number
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minutes listened ratings on any format
1:27:11
that carries the show. We got
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it on almost everything out there
1:27:16
but the number that the.the numbers
1:27:18
were just astronomical. I was
1:27:20
out of town. So. It's a little bit
1:27:22
insulting. people gave it the best week ever
1:27:24
when I went on the air but stats
1:27:27
okay will still take that was the like
1:27:29
the victory it's and ah very good. Thank
1:27:31
you guys and listen we can still use
1:27:33
your help. I. We run in
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the top two or three five depend on
1:27:37
what minute it is of the Apple podcasts
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and the were others. To me, an Apple
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1:27:44
somewhere in there may be saw somewhere in
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there so and look today but we're always
1:27:48
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is what tells us that we're reaching a
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lot of people and the way we rich
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people you tell them so subscribed to the
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that tell people about us that you're our number
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one marketing we don't own a
1:28:31
football stadium like so
1:28:33
fine I guess I sneezed I'm
1:28:36
sorry but the I don't have we're not
1:28:38
putting 300 million dollars into that marketing so
1:28:40
you guys are the ones that tell other
1:28:42
people that the Ramsey thing's helping me and
1:28:45
then that helps us thank you and it
1:28:47
helps us help other people thank you thank
1:28:50
you thank you our question of the day
1:28:52
comes from Kimberly in Oklahoma Kimberly writes my
1:28:54
fiance and I purchased a house together in
1:28:56
2022 we were both in
1:28:58
our 50s and had been homeowners in the past
1:29:01
our deed has the phrase right
1:29:03
of survivorship in it where if one of
1:29:05
us dies the property automatically goes to the
1:29:07
other well my fiance
1:29:10
passed away late last year and while
1:29:12
researching about selling the house I found
1:29:14
out he had filed a quit claim
1:29:16
back in October right before he had
1:29:18
surgery to remove a tumor the
1:29:21
quit claim deeds his half of the house
1:29:23
to his sons who are 23 and
1:29:25
26 neither one of
1:29:28
them has any interest in living in the house
1:29:31
or paying for it does
1:29:33
the quit claim supersede our deed wording
1:29:35
about the right of survivorship if
1:29:37
so how do I go about selling
1:29:39
my house if they have legally inherited
1:29:41
it should they be paying half the
1:29:44
mortgage HOA and taxes good
1:29:48
god a mess this
1:29:52
is why you do not buy a home with someone you're
1:29:54
not married to even if
1:29:56
they're your fiance ever
1:30:00
Ever this is why seen
1:30:02
this kind of wicked weird stuff for
1:30:04
30 years when people buy a house
1:30:06
that aren't married Well,
1:30:08
we love each other good get married then buy
1:30:10
a house Stop this
1:30:13
stupidity. Oh bless your heart
1:30:15
Kimberly. I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to go
1:30:17
through And what a
1:30:19
weird type of betrayal So,
1:30:22
um, I don't know the answer
1:30:24
to your question in Oklahoma. You need to get a lawyer You
1:30:28
need to get a lawyer and find out
1:30:30
what title you hold if the survivorship supersedes
1:30:32
the quick claim beat I suspect it does
1:30:34
not I do too I think he just
1:30:37
gave up his half of the ownership to
1:30:39
his sons before he died So
1:30:41
there was no right of survivorship because he
1:30:44
didn't own anything when he died his
1:30:46
kid owned it His kids owned it. So
1:30:49
I think you are now partners with
1:30:51
your fiance's two kids And
1:30:54
so I would sit down with them and say how
1:30:57
are we gonna do this? We're 50
1:31:00
50 on this house. What do you how do
1:31:02
y'all want to handle it? My
1:31:04
best suggestion would be you sell it and
1:31:06
take your half and they
1:31:09
get their half Because I think
1:31:11
that's where you are. You can check an
1:31:13
attorney to be sure but I'm not 95% sure That's
1:31:15
the way it's gonna go down and hopefully
1:31:18
the two little duvers will cooperate And
1:31:21
you can just sell this thing fairly easily You're not gonna
1:31:23
have a problem if they won't cooperate
1:31:25
you're going to have to file a motion in
1:31:27
circuit court to dissolve a partnership and The
1:31:30
judge will force the sale of the house to dissolve
1:31:33
the partnership and that's gonna cost you 10 grand in
1:31:36
legal fees Maybe five but probably
1:31:38
yeah And so
1:31:40
this is what this betrayal has cost you.
1:31:42
This is unbelievable. It's unconscionable I
1:31:46
guess he had a brain tumor and it affected his
1:31:48
behavior and his judgment I'm trying to give the guy
1:31:50
a little credit not just be a complete scumbull since
1:31:52
he died but Who
1:31:56
knows now this was just a under the
1:31:58
table sideways
1:32:00
gummy thing Sideways deal that
1:32:02
left his fiancee high and dry. He didn't
1:32:05
have the courage to either tell her Hey,
1:32:08
I want to make sure I leave something to my boys
1:32:10
and he didn't have a curse to tell them What
1:32:13
was going on? Yeah, this is really really
1:32:15
can't wait to see hardly Yeah, so that leaves
1:32:18
you in a mess and here's the rule boys
1:32:20
and girls out there I know some
1:32:22
of you like to shack up and you don't want to be married
1:32:24
and you want to try on a shoe for You buy it and
1:32:26
all that crap that you say all the time. You can do whatever
1:32:28
you want to do It's not a moral
1:32:30
construct. It's a legal and financial construct Buying
1:32:33
a house with somebody you're not married to
1:32:35
is straight-up stupid Don't
1:32:38
do it So well, we've
1:32:40
been we've been dating for 42 years.
1:32:42
Well great painter get off the ladder
1:32:45
make a decision Man,
1:32:47
all right. Mike is with us Mike's in
1:32:49
Boise, Idaho. Hey Mike, what's up? Hi
1:32:52
guys. Thanks for taking my call I
1:32:55
have found myself in
1:32:57
baby step two as I am finishing
1:33:00
college I'm
1:33:02
getting ready to graduate and I'm planning on
1:33:04
moving out of state and I just
1:33:06
don't know How much
1:33:08
like what the what the process is for how
1:33:11
much I should have saved up before I move
1:33:14
Not remember your moving expenses in
1:33:16
your first month's rent or whatever is going to take to
1:33:18
get into an apartment. Yeah, where are you moving?
1:33:22
So I'm moving back to
1:33:24
California where I grew up with my brother
1:33:26
why he's told me you well,
1:33:29
it's just Family
1:33:31
kind of what about employment?
1:33:34
What about this idea? You just went to school to
1:33:36
get a job Yeah,
1:33:40
you should get one of those Yeah,
1:33:42
so I've applied to jobs back
1:33:44
in California. Do you have any?
1:33:48
Well, I still have like interviews coming up so nothing's for sure What
1:33:52
should agree in? I'm
1:33:55
finishing with the Masters of Arts and Teaching and a
1:33:57
bachelor's in social studies year
1:34:00
in May. So you're looking for a teaching gate?
1:34:03
Yeah. You'll get one of those. Yeah,
1:34:07
yeah I've applied to them
1:34:10
and they have such a high need I would kind of
1:34:12
be shocked if I didn't get one. Sure. You
1:34:16
can actually be pretty selective my guess and
1:34:18
find the districts that pay the most or
1:34:21
put you in the best situation. Yeah,
1:34:24
one of the hard parts for me is that I'm I'm
1:34:27
not gonna get paid for the month
1:34:29
of August. Yeah, that's tough. I remember that when
1:34:31
I was my first year teaching I had
1:34:33
to float until September. Well this is I mean
1:34:36
but this is this is March. Go
1:34:39
work. Yeah. I mean go Uber and
1:34:41
cut grass and walk people's dogs. I mean go crazy for
1:34:44
a short period of time get you some money dude. Yeah,
1:34:47
I started teaching driver's ed trying to...
1:34:49
That's a star. Hey, teaching driver's
1:34:53
ed you may die before you even have to take your
1:34:55
first job. Yeah, no kidding. The
1:35:00
hard thing is I wanted to put down
1:35:02
like five grand in a savings account to
1:35:04
move but that's all that I'll have left
1:35:06
on my student loans. No, you're gonna you need to make
1:35:08
the move first and get the job and you clear the
1:35:10
student loan in 20 minutes if you don't get my five
1:35:12
grand. Okay. You need to get
1:35:14
set. You got to get moved. You got to get moved. I mean
1:35:16
how you gonna move if you don't? Going
1:35:19
debt for that? You just traded one debt for the
1:35:21
other. Yeah, well my family's
1:35:23
been so good to me but I just I
1:35:26
don't know. Knock it out dude. Knock it out.
1:35:28
Go get five grand move get settled and pay
1:35:30
off five grand your first three checks. Yeah.
1:35:34
No partying allowed. You're a social studies teacher
1:35:36
now. You're not a college student. Hey and
1:35:38
by the way your first year teacher no
1:35:41
are you married or anything? No.
1:35:43
Alright good. So my first year of coaching
1:35:45
I took an extra sport and made a
1:35:48
little extra money. I drove the bus for
1:35:50
other events and for other like teams and made
1:35:52
extra money. I worked games like
1:35:55
B team basketball games for extra money. You'll
1:35:57
have an opportunity to nickel and dime your
1:35:59
way. to a lot of
1:36:01
additional cash your first couple
1:36:04
years of teaching if you just get on it
1:36:06
and hoof it and get to work. Yeah lots
1:36:08
of opportunities. Partying is in the rear
1:36:10
view mirror. It was at college. Right. Now
1:36:12
you're a man. Work, work, work, work. Time to
1:36:14
go to work. Clean up this dadgum mess. This
1:36:18
is the Ramsey Shadow. Folks
1:36:23
changing your family tree takes more
1:36:25
than rice and beans and side
1:36:27
hustles. It's also about transferring the
1:36:29
big financial risks off your family
1:36:31
by having the right kinds of
1:36:33
coverage in place. That's
1:36:35
why my team created the
1:36:37
coverage checkup quiz. It only
1:36:39
takes about five minutes to
1:36:41
find out what types of
1:36:43
insurance you need and don't
1:36:45
need to protect your finances.
1:36:47
Make this quiz one of
1:36:49
your regular checkups starting right
1:36:51
now at ramsysolutions.com/ checkup. Dr.
1:36:54
Chondaloni, Ramsey personality is
1:36:56
my co-host
1:36:59
today. Open
1:37:04
phones are 888-855-225. Kayla
1:37:07
is in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Hi Kayla, welcome
1:37:10
to the Ramsey Show. Hello,
1:37:12
thank you so much for your time. Sure,
1:37:15
what's up? Yeah,
1:37:17
so my husband and I have been married for
1:37:19
15 years. Only
1:37:22
after that bought our first home. For
1:37:25
the first 13, he was a
1:37:28
chemical engineer and we were able
1:37:30
to pay off all but our
1:37:32
mortgage. Yay. Yes,
1:37:35
in the past two years,
1:37:38
we had the calling to enter
1:37:40
into pastoral ministry, which
1:37:44
in turn cut our income in half.
1:37:48
So we are commuting currently
1:37:50
to our church and so we
1:37:53
desire, I desire mostly to
1:37:57
be closer to that community and
1:37:59
be and minister to
1:38:01
that committee, be hands and feet
1:38:03
there. We
1:38:05
refinanced in 2020 which gave us
1:38:08
a 3% mortgage rate and
1:38:10
so our mortgage payment is
1:38:12
super low so it's kind
1:38:15
of... What do you owe on your hand? We
1:38:19
owe 77,000. What's it worth? We
1:38:24
haven't officially got it estimated
1:38:27
but Zillow is like 320. How
1:38:32
far away are you moving? It's
1:38:36
about 25 minutes from
1:38:39
our home. In
1:38:41
most areas of the country that's called going to work.
1:38:46
It's not really a commute. I would love a
1:38:48
25 minute commute. That'd be
1:38:50
amazing. You are in the community when you're
1:38:52
25 minutes away in most areas of the
1:38:54
country. If you want to move,
1:38:56
are there 320,000 homes in that neighborhood? There
1:39:02
are, yes. Taxes
1:39:04
are a little bit higher than what we're used to.
1:39:06
What's your husband making now? Together
1:39:10
because I also am working
1:39:13
with him side by side. We
1:39:15
make about 80,000 and that
1:39:18
doesn't include the housing allowance. In
1:39:21
the housing allowances, how much? We're
1:39:25
new to that too. After
1:39:28
taxes, it was 60,000. Does
1:39:31
that make sense? You
1:39:34
deduct your housing expenses from your taxes? The
1:39:36
80 includes the housing? Yes.
1:39:40
Housing is not taxable in a pastoral but
1:39:43
the rest of it is taxable. You've got 60
1:39:45
taxable, 20 not taxable. Your
1:39:47
total income including housing is 80? Correct.
1:39:51
Okay, I got you. What
1:39:53
prohibits you from buying a 320,000 dollar
1:39:55
house or a 300,000 dollar house in
1:39:58
that neighborhood? by
1:40:00
selling this house. Your payment is going
1:40:02
to go up some because you've got a tiny little
1:40:05
mortgage with a tiny little bump in interest rate, but
1:40:07
3% on 60 or $70,000
1:40:09
if you go from 3 to 6 is nothing. It's $1,800 a year. It's $100
1:40:15
a month. The
1:40:18
property taxes are double.
1:40:21
That's one thing that's... Okay, and so how much
1:40:23
is that? How much is that? So we
1:40:25
would go from $2,700 a year to a comparable
1:40:30
home to about $5,000. Whoopee.
1:40:34
Oh. You
1:40:37
can afford it. What's making you
1:40:39
so nervous? If you don't move up in house,
1:40:41
but the problem is you went and looked at
1:40:43
$500,000 houses, didn't you? Yeah.
1:40:46
Okay. Yeah, go
1:40:48
take a cold shower, honey. You got a house fever. You
1:40:51
need to lower your expectations back down to the level
1:40:53
where you were. You need to buy $250,000 to $300,000 home if
1:40:55
you want to live in that
1:40:59
neighborhood. If you don't want to live in that neighborhood and
1:41:01
commute and stay where you are, well, you're fine anyway. It's
1:41:05
25 minutes. It's not... I
1:41:08
mean, sometimes we shouldn't... In Nashville, we shouldn't
1:41:10
traffic 25 minutes just to do, but the...
1:41:13
I mean, do whatever you want to do. Look, can
1:41:15
I say this, Dave? It burns a hole
1:41:18
in my chest. If you feel called to
1:41:20
do a thing and
1:41:23
you feel called to leave job X to go
1:41:25
to job Y, that
1:41:29
often means your entire life is going
1:41:31
to change and you
1:41:33
may have to change
1:41:35
where you live, change the size of your
1:41:37
house or your... It's, I want to do this
1:41:39
thing that I feel called to do... With
1:41:41
no repercussion. With no life
1:41:44
change. Yeah, that doesn't happen. And that almost
1:41:46
never happens that way. Doesn't happen. It's
1:41:48
a total call. I want you to surrender this
1:41:50
big house, these cars, this whatever, for
1:41:53
this life, right? And that's a... that's hard. So
1:41:55
you may move from a $300,000 house to a
1:41:57
$200,000 house, which is paid for by the way.
1:42:00
paid for. You could do that and have a paid for
1:42:02
hash. And then you can
1:42:04
minister debt free, which means you can fully be
1:42:06
invested in your community. And that's a totally different
1:42:08
freedom and peace. But it's
1:42:10
a different mindset. Yeah, that's a
1:42:12
big deal. That's
1:42:15
an interesting point. And John, I mean,
1:42:18
you have done that a time or two and so have
1:42:20
I. After we
1:42:22
went broke, I went back to doing real estate.
1:42:24
And this was, you know, 1994, 1000 years ago, right?
1:42:31
After going broke, 94 was the year I got back
1:42:33
above $100,000 income. So I was making
1:42:36
100 made $120,000 that year in 1993, I'm sorry. And I had figured out I had a little bit
1:42:43
of speaking. I had this little $10
1:42:46
book I was starting to sell
1:42:48
called financial piece out of the trunk of my car.
1:42:51
And I was doing some one on one coaching. And
1:42:54
I was thinking about starting a class
1:42:57
that later became known as financial piece University.
1:43:00
And we figured it up and I did a pro forma on
1:43:02
it and I told Sharon I said, I think I
1:43:05
can go full time into
1:43:07
financial piece with books speaking class
1:43:11
radio wouldn't pay anything we were doing it but it didn't
1:43:13
pay us anything. And I think
1:43:15
I can do that. I think the first year will
1:43:17
make 60,000 our income will go in half. And
1:43:22
I think God's told me do that. But I'm not sure
1:43:24
what do you think? And she said, Well,
1:43:27
it doesn't sound like financial piece to
1:43:29
you just
1:43:31
bought bankruptcy three years ago that book.
1:43:35
She said, No, but we talked about it. We
1:43:37
prayed about it. We both really decided we thought
1:43:39
that was what God was saying to do felt
1:43:41
called. Okay, not 100% sure. I never know. I
1:43:44
always hesitate to say God told me. But
1:43:46
I felt right felt felt like what I supposed
1:43:49
to do, right? So we did quit
1:43:51
doing real estate went full on
1:43:53
financial piece in 1994 opened a little
1:43:56
baby office that was a month to month rent in case
1:43:58
it didn't work. We didn't have a long lease. And
1:44:01
first year, I made $61,000. I
1:44:04
hit it exactly, oddly enough.
1:44:07
But that cost $40,000 of sacrifice in the Ramsey home
1:44:10
from the year before, right? No, $60,000. Well,
1:44:14
our income went in half. Like she said, her income went in
1:44:16
half. It was the same thing. And
1:44:18
so, you know, that meant that we didn't
1:44:20
do squat again after recovering, after bankruptcy, starting
1:44:22
to heal and actually fix the heat and
1:44:24
air and that kind of stuff. And now
1:44:26
we don't have any money again. And
1:44:29
so, but the next year, you know, we
1:44:31
made $100,000 and it's never been back since,
1:44:34
of course. But this thing
1:44:36
has grown every year. But that was a
1:44:38
call that came with a sacrifice that came
1:44:40
with a call, which we're talking about. And
1:44:43
that one worked out. They don't always work out because
1:44:45
sometimes it's last night's pizza. It's not the Holy Spirit,
1:44:47
you know. And these people is like, well, God told
1:44:49
me. And then God told me something else. And then
1:44:51
God told me something else, right? But you have to
1:44:53
know that when you go with your gut, you follow
1:44:55
it or you get called whatever you want to say
1:44:58
it. It
1:45:00
always comes with a risk and it always comes with
1:45:02
an almost total change. And if you can clear the
1:45:04
deck, you can go from a four bedroom
1:45:06
house to a three bedroom house if you clear the deck. If
1:45:09
you look at it as a loss and I'm trying to keep it,
1:45:11
then you're going to drive yourself mad. The
1:45:13
other thing is none of this is permanent. Our
1:45:16
reduction to 60 was not permanent. You can pick up real estate
1:45:18
the next year. If you want to be in the neighborhood, sell
1:45:20
your house by $200,000 house, live
1:45:22
there three years and move up. Save
1:45:25
up some money, move up. Save up some money, move up.
1:45:27
Nothing stays the same. The season
1:45:29
is going to get worse or it's going to get better. Maybe it
1:45:31
grows the ministry and the income goes up
1:45:34
in that ministry, which would not be a bad
1:45:36
thing. Multiple times across my
1:45:38
career, I've taken a new job that's less
1:45:40
money with higher upside or I've taken a
1:45:42
reduction in like a title,
1:45:44
if you will, for a different
1:45:47
environment. I've
1:45:49
done that almost every time and it's
1:45:51
always been I know I can
1:45:54
bet on myself. I know the environment is good at trust
1:45:56
of leadership, X, Y, Z and it works out that way.
1:46:00
But man, it comes at a cost. It comes at a cost.
1:46:03
Yeah, that's a thing. So your
1:46:05
cost, Kayla, what we're describing, we're not picking on you,
1:46:07
it's just this is stuff we've all experienced. And
1:46:11
you cannot do this without a cost. The
1:46:14
cost is a 25-minute commute or
1:46:17
a move to a house smaller than
1:46:19
the one you're in. Those
1:46:23
are your two options. This is the
1:46:25
Ramsey Show. Our
1:46:31
scripture today, 2 Peter 3, 9, the
1:46:33
Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as
1:46:36
some understand slowness. Instead, He
1:46:38
is patient with you, not wanting anyone
1:46:40
to perish, but everyone to come to
1:46:42
repentance. Norman Vincent Peale said
1:46:45
promises are like crying babies in a theater.
1:46:47
They should be carried out at once. I
1:46:50
like it. Very good. Noah is with
1:46:52
us in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Hey Noah, welcome
1:46:54
to the Ramsey Show. Thank
1:46:57
you for having me, Dave. Sure. So
1:47:00
I am struggling with some
1:47:03
family issues. About
1:47:05
two years ago, actually three
1:47:07
years ago now, my work offered me a promotion
1:47:09
in which I had to move about 400 miles
1:47:12
from where I currently was living. And
1:47:15
at that time, I didn't know
1:47:17
what to do with the house, we'd only owned
1:47:20
it a year. So some of my family members,
1:47:22
my wife's sisters, decided
1:47:24
they wanted to rent the house from us. Well,
1:47:28
it turned into two years later,
1:47:30
they hadn't paid rent on time once
1:47:32
in a year. They
1:47:34
were two months behind on rent and
1:47:37
they had trashed the house. And
1:47:40
we're just trying to struggle with, like
1:47:44
family gatherings are awkward and, you
1:47:46
know, like what
1:47:49
do we do? Yeah,
1:47:51
it's your fault. Yeah,
1:47:55
it's not their fault. You
1:47:57
put two wild, wicked young guys.
1:48:00
single women into your rental
1:48:02
house and then you're shocked they tore it up
1:48:04
while they weren't paying rent and you did nothing
1:48:06
about it. Your
1:48:10
fault, not their fault, they just is what they
1:48:12
is. You
1:48:16
knew what they were when you let them move in there, didn't you?
1:48:22
You knew this was stupid when you did it, didn't you?
1:48:26
My wife couldn't understand the
1:48:28
thought of her sisters
1:48:30
doing this to us so she was very
1:48:32
firm that they wouldn't
1:48:35
hurt us in this way. She's delusional. She
1:48:40
knew they were crazy too. You
1:48:42
knew they were wild as buck, didn't
1:48:45
you? I did. Yeah.
1:48:49
So you just turned your dadgum thing into a sorority
1:48:51
house. So has your sister not called her sisters? I
1:48:53
mean your wife not called her sisters? The ones that
1:48:55
would never do this? She has talked with her sisters
1:48:57
but they just act like nothing
1:49:00
has happened, nothing's wrong
1:49:04
that they didn't destroy this
1:49:06
house that was something
1:49:08
that we had worked hard to get through. So
1:49:11
what did your wife say? Did she say they
1:49:13
destroyed it or is she in denial too? No,
1:49:16
she's not in denial. She's
1:49:18
on board with it now but she's
1:49:21
also like, she's like how do
1:49:23
we go to Chris? I
1:49:25
mean we go to Christmas and spend time with the family
1:49:27
and then be like oh we're not getting you guys because
1:49:29
you owe us $2,000 in back rent and the $6,000 or
1:49:31
$8,000 in damages that
1:49:35
we had to do to get the house livable again
1:49:37
because we ended up moving back into the house. Okay
1:49:39
let me change gears man. I was picking
1:49:41
on you but the way you go to
1:49:44
Christmas is you take responsibility for this. It
1:49:46
is your fault. That's
1:49:48
how you go to Christmas. You quit
1:49:50
blaming them. Here's
1:49:53
the deal. Today they were late
1:49:56
the first time. You
1:49:59
should have moved them. If
1:50:01
you're in one of my rental properties and you don't pay
1:50:03
your rent, you know what we do? We evict your butt.
1:50:06
If we go over and do an
1:50:08
inspection, which we do monthly or every
1:50:10
two months on every single residential property,
1:50:12
we walk through it. If a cat
1:50:14
lives there or you're partying, we evict
1:50:16
your butt. You're not tearing up my
1:50:18
property. That's called landlord.
1:50:21
Y'all did not landlord. You didn't collect
1:50:23
your rent and you didn't manage your
1:50:25
property. You stood back and watched two
1:50:27
wild crazy women tear up your stuff
1:50:30
and did nothing about it. Yeah. Yeah.
1:50:36
That's exactly what happened. I
1:50:38
mean, you suck as a landlord, dude. Yeah,
1:50:42
it wasn't originally the plan when we bought
1:50:44
the house. It was just my work. I
1:50:47
get all that. I get all that, but you're
1:50:49
asking me how you heal the relationship, but you're
1:50:51
blaming somebody for being who they is. You
1:50:54
already know who they is. So
1:50:59
they're irresponsible party animal sorority girls who
1:51:01
don't give a crap about anybody, and
1:51:03
you brought them in as a tenant,
1:51:05
and then you're shocked that they're irresponsible
1:51:07
party girls who don't give a crap
1:51:10
about anybody who happens to be kin
1:51:12
to me. Yeah,
1:51:14
and it wasn't even partying. It was more
1:51:16
like people with mental
1:51:18
health issues like depression, and they
1:51:20
couldn't keep the house clean. No,
1:51:24
they didn't keep the house clean.
1:51:26
They could, but they didn't. Depressed people clean
1:51:28
houses all the time. Happens
1:51:30
all the time. If they're getting evicted, if
1:51:32
they don't, they suddenly magically clean
1:51:35
the house. So
1:51:37
what's your plan moving forward? Have you evicted them from the house?
1:51:40
Yes, we – so about a year ago –
1:51:42
this all started three years ago. A year ago,
1:51:45
my work offered me an opportunity to work from
1:51:47
home, and I said, okay, I'm going to move
1:51:49
back into this house. So are you back in
1:51:52
it? Yes, I am. So I could say – Okay,
1:51:54
so it's all fixed and it's all in the rearview mirror.
1:51:56
So the only question now is you lost the money and
1:51:58
you think you're going to get it high? Ha ha, you're
1:52:00
not getting it. I would eat it. Forget it.
1:52:03
Walk away. Forgive and forget. They
1:52:05
is who they is. We love them.
1:52:08
I've got relatives that vote wrong. I love them anyway. They
1:52:12
vote for the wrong people. I just don't understand, but I
1:52:14
love them anyway. I got relatives that
1:52:16
do other stupid things and I love them anyway. But
1:52:19
they're not renting my dadgum house either. Yeah.
1:52:23
And so I'm sorry. I'm not trying
1:52:25
to be tough on you, but the way sometimes
1:52:27
that I can put something that's been done to
1:52:29
me in the rearview mirror is when I realize
1:52:31
how much of it I allowed to happen to
1:52:33
me or I invited to
1:52:36
happen to me. Therefore, I take responsibility for
1:52:38
the situation as much as the Goobers. The
1:52:41
Goobers are just Goobers. It's what they are. And
1:52:45
it's sad, but I mean, they're
1:52:48
not going to ever be anything else. You're
1:52:52
in a dream world if you think they're going to
1:52:54
walk up at Christmas and go, I'm really sorry. Here's
1:52:57
a $2,000 check for the back rent and $5,000 for the
1:52:59
damage. And we really
1:53:01
are so sorry we messed up. The day
1:53:03
that that happens, I will turn blue. It's
1:53:05
not going to happen. Yeah.
1:53:10
And they haven't even had a job since they've moved
1:53:12
out of the house. One of them had a job
1:53:14
for four months and they're living in my in-laws basement
1:53:16
now doing the estate. Hey, hold on. Here's
1:53:18
the deal. You shouldn't even know where they live. Now
1:53:22
you're keeping tabs on them. They're
1:53:24
still living rent free. They just moved from their house
1:53:26
to your head. Let
1:53:30
them go do their life. Right? Yeah.
1:53:33
And you and your wife decide, hey, it costs
1:53:35
$7,000 to get back here. We
1:53:38
learned a lesson. You're looking for justice and there is none.
1:53:40
Yeah, not going to have it anymore. We're going to move
1:53:42
on with our lives. There's no justice. There's
1:53:44
no justice. And maybe y'all don't do Christmas presents.
1:53:47
That's fine. That's a decision y'all would make. I wouldn't do it as
1:53:49
retribution or like keep some sort of when they're 68 years old, you
1:53:52
can make, hey, y'all finally paid off the tab. So
1:53:54
here's a here's a Christmas dish. We've been doing it
1:53:56
at 250. We're just not going
1:53:58
to do it in 10 years or back even. Are
1:54:00
you is that we're real? Yeah
1:54:05
Yeah, it's it's I hate it for you
1:54:07
man I I'm sorry you went through this
1:54:09
but it was your expectations and your lack
1:54:11
of management that made the situation Bizarre
1:54:15
happen and made it worse and
1:54:18
so, you know, you could have limited
1:54:20
the damage after you did it You could have stopped it
1:54:22
from ever happening if you did just stood up and said
1:54:24
no. No, of course not You can't live
1:54:27
in our house. No, you don't pay bills
1:54:30
And you tear up stuff, of course not no
1:54:32
Yeah, I mean we all have relatives
1:54:34
We all have friends that
1:54:37
we love at a greater distance than living in our
1:54:39
own home You know you go over
1:54:41
there somewhere and be you I know I've got somebody
1:54:43
the other day telling them two of my closest friends
1:54:45
On the planet my oldest friends who
1:54:47
would lay down traffic for me. I Wouldn't
1:54:51
hire them. They're terrible employees
1:54:54
You're amazing like long-term
1:54:56
friends So it never hire them right and
1:54:59
both of those things can coexist I can
1:55:01
love people but you can't live in my
1:55:03
house Yeah, right exactly right so no that
1:55:05
lesson learned or or you
1:55:07
can live in my house for a year And I'm
1:55:10
not gonna lose sleep over if you put the word
1:55:12
family in front of dysfunctional. It
1:55:14
doesn't change dysfunctional It
1:55:16
just magnifies it and
1:55:18
so, you know that you
1:55:20
got dysfunctional and then you got family dysfunctional Which
1:55:22
is like 10x and
1:55:24
so all you did was just ask for that to not
1:55:27
Existing dysfunction was apparent to you and
1:55:29
your wife you ignored it and went
1:55:32
ahead anyway There's a
1:55:34
proverb says a wise
1:55:36
man sees Sees
1:55:38
trouble and turns a fool goes forward
1:55:40
and suffers for it. I
1:55:42
have been a fool a time or two That's
1:55:44
why I'm so passionate about this. I see something.
1:55:46
I know better I go forward anyway, and I
1:55:48
suffer for it and that's exactly what happened to
1:55:50
y'all and I'm so sorry But good
1:55:53
news is you never have to do it again.
1:55:55
Listen to your brain. It's talking to you That
1:55:57
puts us our the Ramsey show in the book
1:56:00
We'll be back with you before you know it.
1:56:02
In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way
1:56:04
to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with
1:56:06
the Prince of Peace. Right, Jesus. Hey
1:56:37
guys, I'm Rachel. And I'm George. And you've probably
1:56:39
heard our voices before on The Ramsey Show. And
1:56:41
do we have a surprise for you? Yep,
1:56:43
we have our very own show, Smart Money
1:56:46
Happy Hour, where we talk about pop culture,
1:56:48
current events, and of course, money. George, it's
1:56:50
a great show. And what else do we
1:56:52
talk about? So much, Rachel.
1:56:54
Not enough, and yet too much. We talk about
1:56:56
guilt tipping, because tipping is out of control, and
1:56:58
I won't stand for it anymore, which is why
1:57:00
I'm sitting. I'm glad you're taking such a
1:57:02
stand. And we also talk about something
1:57:04
else I'm passionate about, Disney adults. Oh,
1:57:06
George. Why is it a thing?
1:57:09
Listen, some adults still find the magic. Sure.
1:57:12
We also talk about toxic money traits and girl math.
1:57:14
And if you don't know what those are, you have
1:57:16
to listen to the podcast. Yeah, there's a lot there, you
1:57:19
guys. It's pretty fun. We keep you relevant, is what
1:57:21
I'm trying to say. We're going to help you out. So
1:57:23
pull up a chair to the happy hour you wish your
1:57:25
friends were having. We promise you won't regret it. And if
1:57:27
you don't have friends, we'll be your friends. We will.
1:57:29
We're great friends. So make sure to
1:57:31
check it out on Apple, Spotify, YouTube,
1:57:33
or the Ramsey Network app.
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