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This Is What It Means To Live Like No One Else!

This Is What It Means To Live Like No One Else!

Released Tuesday, 26th March 2024
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This Is What It Means To Live Like No One Else!

This Is What It Means To Live Like No One Else!

This Is What It Means To Live Like No One Else!

This Is What It Means To Live Like No One Else!

Tuesday, 26th March 2024
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0:00

Music Live

0:28

from the headquarters of Ramsy

0:30

Solutions, it's the Ramsy show.

0:33

Well, we help people build wealth,

0:35

do work that they love

0:38

and create actual amazing

0:40

relationships. Dr.

0:43

John Deloni, Ramsy personality, number

0:45

one, best-selling book author and

0:48

a host of a very hot YouTube

0:51

slash podcast program on the Ramsy networks

0:53

called the Dr. John Deloni show. He's

0:56

my co-host today. The phone number is triple eight,

0:58

eight two five, five two, two five.

1:03

Sabrina starts off this hour in

1:05

Tampa, Florida. Hi Sabrina. How are

1:08

you? I'm

1:10

doing better than I deserve as well. I

1:12

can't believe you finally get to settle this

1:14

for my husband and I want some for all.

1:17

So I get to put on my referee's

1:19

Jersey, get out my whistle, marital

1:22

referee Dave. Absolutely.

1:25

And you've been with us since our

1:27

engagement because we did SPU as a

1:29

part of our marriage counseling. So we

1:31

have every dollar we do the budget

1:33

meetings. We paid off our house last

1:36

March. So you guys already know the answer

1:38

to this question, whatever it is. That's

1:41

the thing. I think I do know the answer. I

1:43

know he knows the answer, but he

1:45

has made the journal thing. So our

1:47

network is 800,000. But

1:50

my husband is ready to buy his

1:52

dream truck. And I know you say

1:54

wait until your network is at least

1:56

a million dollars. We

1:59

bring. and about 215k

2:02

a month, their truck would be between 15k a month.

2:04

You mean a year? So I'm like,

2:06

oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. I was

2:08

about to buy a truck, okay.

2:11

Okay, yeah. At 2.5 million annual

2:13

income, I'm ready to go. Okay,

2:16

all right. Anyway, but anyway, $215,000 a

2:18

year, you're still doing good, okay. Yeah,

2:22

we already put in 15% for retirement. How

2:25

much is the truck? The

2:27

truck will be 50 to 60k. Okay,

2:29

so what is it? It's

2:32

going to probably be a Silverado. He's torn

2:34

between a Silverado or honestly Dave, I

2:36

feel so embarrassed. What is the OF Ford? F-150

2:39

or something. F-150 or something. F-150

2:41

or something. Repent, ma'am. F-150. You

2:45

can't call about the truck, man's truck and not know

2:48

what the man's truck is. It's just wrong. Okay.

2:51

Bless your heart. This is wonderful. Okay, so the only,

2:53

you're out of debt, you have the money to pay

2:55

cash for the truck. The only argument is 800 versus

2:58

a million. Right.

3:01

Okay, and so what's

3:04

your home worth? Our

3:06

home is worth a little over 300k. It

3:09

varies on Zillow between 300 and 330. Okay,

3:12

and you're in Tampa, Florida and

3:15

you're adding 15%. So you're adding $60,000

3:17

a year, not counting growth, to your 401ks. And

3:24

so that's $120,000. So

3:27

in three years you'd be there if there's

3:30

no growth in the stock market. So you're

3:32

millionaires in 18 months from now, roughly. That's

3:36

crazy. That's wild and exciting. Yeah, that's what

3:38

the math says. Okay, that's good for y'all. How old

3:40

are you? I'm 35

3:42

and he's 37. You

3:45

guys rock. You're so smart. We owe,

3:47

you all rock. You all got it to yourself. I

3:49

didn't give you any money. Yes, you did.

3:52

I just showed you how to do it. What's

3:55

the nomination for you guys? Oh,

4:01

I know that. I'm just trying to figure

4:03

out like you're you sound like you've come

4:05

from a very legalistic background and Oh my

4:07

god, you know me so well. I'm scared

4:12

All right Dave will give

4:14

you the answer and then I'll see if I can give

4:16

you a workaround because my church is all over the I'm

4:18

just kidding. Go ahead Dave So

4:21

the concept is and the reason we put a

4:23

million dollars on there is you need to have

4:25

a really strong net worth and Be in a

4:28

really strong financial position in order to be able

4:30

to lose as much money as you're

4:32

gonna lose when you drive A brand new truck off

4:34

the lot when the sound goes boom-bloom

4:36

when you go into the street On

4:39

a Ford f-150 to 60 grand or a nice

4:41

Silverado the 65 or 70 thousand You

4:44

just lost 15,000 bucks when it goes

4:46

boom-bloom Golly,

4:48

that's what it costs when you drive it into the street So

4:51

you got to be able to absorb that blow and

4:53

it not change your life at all Most

4:56

people do that crap while they're broke

4:58

middle-class people and they I need a

5:00

track I Deserve a

5:02

truck cuz I work hard, you don't deserve

5:04

squat You don't work hard enough and

5:06

you hadn't done a good job yet So that's

5:08

who we're talking to we try to get put

5:11

a million dollars up there because at a million

5:13

dollars net worth at 35 years

5:15

old making 215 you can absorb a fifteen

5:17

thousand dollar blow, right? That's where

5:19

the concept comes from So really what

5:21

we need to understand is the concept

5:23

under the principle rather than the legalistic

5:25

number Because if it was 1.1 or

5:27

900 or 800, it doesn't really matter What

5:31

matters is the concept is you can absorb

5:33

the blow so at

5:36

if Sharon and I were doing

5:38

this and it was me wanting a truck which

5:41

is Very very possible

5:43

that that conversation has occurred

5:47

Because I drove my Raptor here today,

5:49

so there you go, but the we

5:51

heard it coming like a deluxe away

5:53

That's a good redneck truck man. I'm

5:55

just saying you know make an announcement

5:57

when you come around the corner, but the Alright,

6:00

so if we were

6:02

doing this, we would probably say, alright,

6:04

the good news is the principle that's in

6:06

place made us stop and think. Are

6:09

we wise? Okay,

6:11

so the good news is you're wise, both

6:14

of you. You've done a great job

6:17

with your money. You're incredible. If

6:19

you buy this truck, it's not going to destroy

6:21

your life. Okay? And

6:24

we set out on a journey following a

6:26

set of principles and guidelines that got us

6:28

here. Deviating from those is

6:30

kind of damaging to your psyche. It

6:34

feels like you cheated. You know

6:36

what I'm saying? Yeah. So technically, technically,

6:38

financially, you could buy the truck and

6:40

you wouldn't notice. I worry more

6:43

about you deviating from this and

6:45

saying, okay, I got the cheat

6:48

code, right? I got the hack. And

6:50

so you could buy it today,

6:52

it wouldn't be a problem. So what Sharon and I

6:55

would do with both of those things in mind, the

6:57

concept matters more than anything

6:59

else. And the deviation scares me

7:01

more than the technical math on it scares

7:03

me. And so what we would

7:05

do is we would probably land in the middle. We'd

7:07

say, okay, we're not going to do it this year.

7:10

We're going to watch the stock market and what it does with our

7:12

401k. We're going to watch our Zillow

7:15

or whatever, probably something more accurate than Zillow

7:17

on my valuation of my real estate. And

7:20

if we get up in the 900s in the next 18 months, I'll

7:23

buy a truck. We might cheat in

7:26

the middle. You know, we're probably

7:28

probably meeting the middle is probably what we

7:30

would do. Okay, so this is not,

7:32

but I can't, I don't get to blow my whistle

7:34

because I'm not going to yell at you if you do

7:36

it today. And I'm not going to

7:38

yell at you. And I'm not going

7:40

to say you're super extra smart if you do

7:43

it, you know, if you wait till

7:45

it's exactly a million, because there's nothing magic about

7:47

the million. What was magic

7:49

is we made you pay attention. What was magic

7:51

is we gave you a plan that you believed

7:53

in and you executed on it. What was magic

7:55

is you got a large enough net worth that

7:57

you can absorb the blow. That's the magic. That

8:00

make sense? And we didn't

8:02

lose any of the magic if you buy something today. And

8:05

I thought it I Absolutely

8:07

love that plan and the one caveat I would

8:10

add to it is does it have to be

8:12

a 2024? Does a 2023

8:14

or 2022 get you there where somebody else? Get

8:17

you get this amazing. If you want to do a 23 you can do

8:19

it today. F-150 Somebody else has already

8:21

eaten that 15k for you and you buy a car

8:24

with 9,000 miles on it Somebody returned

8:26

it and you're good to go. I will

8:28

tell you this. I'm on my fourth Raptor So

8:31

you're gonna do it again anyway, so you could

8:33

do a 23 and in two years go

8:35

do a brand new one and That

8:38

would solve John you're smart trying. We

8:40

got you around here, man That's

8:43

a good that's a better solution than all my

8:45

meandering around the barn six times. This

8:47

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8:51

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8:54

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9:32

John Deloney Ramsey personality best-selling

9:35

author and Of

9:38

course host of the dr. John Deloney show which you

9:40

need to tune in and check out on

9:43

the Ramsey Networks Zachary

9:45

is with us. He's in st.

9:47

Louis. Hi Zachary. How are you?

9:50

I'm doing well. I'm doing well How are you guys

9:52

doing better than we deserve sir? What's up? Well,

9:55

I had a question for you. I'm actually a

9:57

pastor over here at a small town church I

10:00

just want to say I very much appreciate all that

10:02

you do. Thank you. But one

10:04

question that's come up for me is

10:06

I often hear you use the phrase,

10:08

the borrower is slave to the lender.

10:11

And I definitely agree with that principle in

10:13

many ways. But then on the

10:16

other end, I noticed that when it comes

10:18

to a mortgage, you are

10:20

okay borrowing in that instance, which

10:22

seems almost to betray that principle a little

10:25

bit. And I guess I was just curious

10:27

on your reasoning as to why you think

10:30

it's okay to borrow in that instance. But

10:33

then when it comes to something like a

10:35

car, especially for someone like me, I live a

10:38

little bit in the country where I'm

10:40

at. So it's a little bit more

10:42

difficult. The car is almost a requirement.

10:44

Pastor, that is a wonderful question. Yeah.

10:47

It's a really good question. Of course, you're quoting

10:49

the Scriptures, Proverbs 22.7, the rituals are over the

10:51

poor and the borrower is slave

10:55

to the lender. And this is a biblical principle

10:58

that we're violating when

11:00

we say it's okay to take out a mortgage.

11:03

And that's your point. And you're correct completely

11:05

on that. Or we tell people

11:07

it's okay to do that. So are you 26? I'm

11:11

actually like 31. I

11:14

had to think about that for a second. Okay. That's

11:16

okay. You lose count around 30.

11:18

It happens. Yeah, I'm

11:20

on the 34th anniversary of my 30th birthday.

11:22

But the... All right.

11:27

So the answer to your question is it

11:29

is the only hypocritical

11:33

advice we give on this show. It's

11:37

the only thing that was hypocritical we give on

11:39

the show. It's the only thing we tell people

11:41

it's okay to do that I never do. I

11:45

went broke in my 20s as I was

11:47

a baby Christian. I had just met God

11:49

and I discovered in that process. I got

11:51

teaching that what the Bible said about money

11:53

named Larry Burkett. And

11:56

I said, I'm going to follow what the

11:58

Bible says. I'm never borrowing money again. I've never

12:00

borrowed money again. money again. I don't borrow money

12:02

for anything ever for any reason under any circumstances.

12:06

Everything else I tell people on the show to do, I

12:08

do exactly what I say to do. Allowing

12:11

people to take out a mortgage without me yelling

12:14

at them, it's

12:16

the only time that my advice

12:18

is inconsistent with my life. Does

12:20

that make sense? Right. And

12:23

it's completely, completely fair for you to call me

12:25

out on it and then I'll answer your question.

12:27

But I wanted to caveat that and say I

12:29

don't borrow money for anything. And sometimes when I

12:31

get a question where it's kind of borderline whether

12:33

they have to borrow or not, I tell them

12:36

that story. I say, hey, I

12:38

don't borrow for anything and I recommend that. That

12:40

is the best way. If

12:43

you follow biblical principles, you're going

12:45

to, in your marriage, your marriage is going to prosper.

12:47

If you follow biblical principles raising your kids, your kids

12:49

are going to be amazing. If you follow biblical principles

12:51

in your mental health and your

12:53

emotional state, you're going to prosper. And the same

12:56

is true in your money and in your leadership.

12:58

If you're running a church, running a business, same

13:00

thing is true. So I evangelical,

13:02

man, I believe that the Bible says it and you

13:04

do it, it's a good thing, right? So I'm with

13:07

you on that. Now,

13:09

the reason that I lighten up when someone

13:11

calls in on that is

13:14

two things. One is I can pretty much

13:16

talk you out of or call you stupid

13:18

taking out a car loan because

13:20

cars go down in value. The interest

13:23

rate is higher and there's no correlation

13:25

between buying the cars with payments and

13:27

becoming wealthy. Very few

13:29

millionaires will tell you that, oh,

13:32

the best thing I ever did was agree to borrow

13:34

on a car because I needed a car because I

13:36

was out in the country and I was driving a

13:38

long way and I needed a car. No millionaires told

13:40

us that when we studied 10,000 of them. So the

13:42

fruit is not

13:45

there. I'm a fruit inspector. Okay.

13:48

The second thing is, millionaires do tell

13:50

us that they borrowed to buy a

13:52

house many times and when they got

13:54

it paid off, they never borrowed money

13:56

again after that. Their debt averse but

13:58

not completely mortgage averse. So the data

14:01

is in that millionaires do that.

14:04

Even though I would tell you the best way to do it

14:06

is save up and pay cash for it, it's hard to get

14:08

people to save up for 10 years to buy a house. I

14:11

can get them to save up three years to buy a car, or

14:14

18 months to buy a car. But I've

14:16

had trouble doing that. So I make

14:18

that violation, but I also often tell people all

14:20

the time when I say that, no

14:23

more than a 15 year mortgage, no more than a payment of

14:25

a fourth of your take on pay. You probably heard me say

14:27

that, Zachary. And then get the

14:30

stupid house paid off as fast as you

14:32

can because the shortest distance between where you

14:34

are and wealth is debt

14:36

freedom. And

14:38

that's consistent across the thing. But you're exactly

14:40

right. And my cars are completely different. Cars

14:42

are the largest thing we buy that goes

14:44

the wrong direction. It goes down in value.

14:47

And when you finance a car, you're just begging to

14:49

be middle class the rest of your life, financially,

14:52

mathematically. Well,

14:54

and most people are stupid enough to like take

14:57

a car note on like a $30,000 car when

15:00

they have no money either. Exactly. Yeah,

15:03

like everybody listening right now, just about. Right,

15:06

right, right. You're right. I

15:09

did have one other thing. And by

15:11

the way, I wanna say I support

15:13

everything you're doing wholeheartedly, including like, I've

15:15

been using myself many of these

15:17

steps, being a small town pastor, you don't get paid

15:19

a ton of money and you have kids. And so

15:22

I've actually had to use these things for myself. So

15:24

again, I wanna say thank you. The

15:26

one other thing I noticed though, as someone who

15:28

was new to the Dave Ramsey

15:30

program in many ways and was new to

15:32

those steps, is that I didn't hear a

15:35

lot of talk about creating a buffer.

15:37

So as someone who was new, I

15:40

didn't have any money in my checking account, right?

15:42

Because I was using credit cards and then I

15:44

was paying off those credit cards with the money

15:47

in my account. So I never really had money

15:49

in my account. And I was in this endless

15:51

cycle, obviously, like a lot of people were. So

15:54

one thing that I thought just to

15:56

consider is that in those baby steps,

15:58

I almost thought there should be a... another baby step

16:01

about creating a buffer because people need

16:03

to, they don't just need a $1,000

16:05

emergency fund. I

16:08

thought that was the buffer whenever I

16:10

was new to the Dave Ramsey program and the

16:12

Dave Ramsey baby steps. But there's

16:14

also this idea of making sure you have

16:16

a buffer because you're going to have auto

16:18

payments on preschool and mortgages and all types

16:21

of stuff. Well, that should be part of

16:23

your budgeting, Zachary. You should

16:25

plan your, you should, budgeting is cash flow

16:27

planning. And so you're

16:29

planning to not take more money out of

16:31

your checking account than you have in it.

16:34

That's your buffer. And you

16:36

can put a $100 buffer in there if you want, but that's

16:38

fine. You don't need any more than that. There's nothing wrong with

16:40

that. But you don't need a $2,000 buffer

16:43

because you're incompetent at

16:45

budgeting. You

16:47

need to have the budget dialed in.

16:49

We're paying the auto payment comes out

16:51

here. This other payment comes out

16:53

here. The paycheck planning aspect, it's called, and if

16:56

you use the every dollar app, shows you how

16:58

to do that. And so you need to plan

17:00

out every situation there.

17:03

But we're honored to have you as a new listener. That

17:06

is something that, man,

17:08

that rings home to me because here's what I

17:11

fell in the trap of doing. My

17:13

wife and I would make a budget and then

17:15

we would check our checking account to

17:17

see where we were. We

17:20

shouldn't do that because then I would make it, I'd be like,

17:22

oh, I can get a little more groceries. And

17:24

then that, yeah, because the checking account is not an

17:26

indicator if you're on your budget. That's

17:29

exactly right. And so then that buffer he's talking about, then

17:31

all of a sudden the school would pull their tuition on

17:33

the fourth instead of the fifth. And

17:36

because I was not following the budget map we'd

17:38

laid out, but I was checking the checking account

17:40

part. A budget map

17:42

is a plan and you would never plan to spend

17:44

money that you don't have in your account. That's

17:47

exactly right. So don't plan to spend money you don't

17:49

have in your account and your need for a buffer

17:51

goes away. Other than a common sense of $50 or

17:53

$100 or something for slippage, you're looking at something being

17:55

off $0.20 or something. You don't want to do that.

17:57

You don't want to do the penny thing. this

18:00

concept of slosh, because it

18:02

covers my lack of detail

18:04

and sticking to the detail,

18:08

that's not, you don't need slosh. That's

18:10

not good. But yeah, and a lot of people do

18:12

that. So the trick is, the thing

18:14

that happens is your brain, and you and

18:17

I have been talking about this in

18:19

a bunch of other areas too, your

18:21

brain, the neuroplasticity, your brain reriders itself

18:23

when you start making every single dollar

18:26

come out when it's supposed to

18:28

give every dollar of your income

18:30

a name before the month begins,

18:33

you and your spouse spit shake

18:35

and pinky swear that we're sticking to

18:37

this contract that we just wrote down.

18:41

Something happens and changes from that chaotic

18:43

wild man that you were before, and

18:46

it takes about 90 days for that rewiring

18:48

to completely occur. And that

18:50

neuroplasticity, it changes your behavior, it's behavior

18:53

transformation. And so the

18:55

detail matters in that situation because you're

18:57

forcing your brain to work really

19:00

hard. Yeah, that's what you want. This is

19:02

the Ramsey Show. If

19:06

current times have shown us anything,

19:08

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you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here.

20:14

Open phone's at 888-825-5225. Now,

20:19

Dr. John, he just, uh, Ramsey

20:22

Networks just broke a record last

20:24

week. Last week, the

20:26

Dr. John Deloney show had 12 million

20:29

views on YouTube

20:31

in one week, 500,000

20:34

hours watched in one week, and

20:39

40,000 new subscribers in a week. That's

20:44

a lot of human beings. I,

20:47

I, my mom retired,

20:49

and I think she's just at home

20:51

creating new accounts and hitting refresh, refresh,

20:54

refresh. 40,000 of them? She's got

20:56

a lot of, she's quick, man. She's quick on the keyboard. Yeah. No,

20:59

that's a wild, I'm glad people are tuning in,

21:01

man. Yeah. Well, you're helping a lot

21:04

of people. Pretty wild. A lot of relationship questions and

21:06

addiction questions and, uh, boundary

21:10

questions and marriage questions and

21:12

some bizarre ones. That

21:14

thing, I caught a glimpse, I haven't heard the

21:16

whole call yet, I've got to get it downloaded in the truck on

21:18

the way home, I listened to it. But,

21:21

uh, the one that dropped with

21:24

the woman who, her, somebody gave

21:26

her, her husband gave her an ancestry.com

21:29

DNA. Yeah. And

21:32

she discovers that her dad is not

21:34

her dad, that it's the

21:36

local priest. Yeah. Is

21:38

her dad. Yeah. That

21:41

is a hairy phone call. It's tough. And here's

21:43

the deal, some of those. It's like Dr. Phil

21:45

or something. Well, it

21:47

can feel Jerry Springer if you're not careful.

21:49

And I think the, the difference is, um,

21:52

man, we, 23andMe, if you go down and

21:54

read some of the articles, it's happening

21:56

all over the country. People are finding out

21:58

family secrets and family stories. that

22:00

for generations before just lay quiet and people lose

22:02

their faith because the pastor does something or a

22:04

minister does something or a leader does something and

22:07

it's hard to come back. And so I

22:09

think sometimes the sensational calls feel like,

22:11

Oh my Jerry, Jerry, but there's some

22:13

humanity in there with the hurt

22:15

and persing that says, I thought that was my dad.

22:17

It's not. Yeah. And

22:19

why didn't my dad, why didn't my dad come get me? Because

22:22

he didn't know. Or maybe

22:24

he did know. Yeah. Wow.

22:28

That makes it, but I think all of us

22:30

have that question like, why didn't my dad show up or

22:32

why didn't my mom? Like, so I think there's some humanity

22:34

in all of those calls. Yeah. Oh,

22:36

definitely. That was just wild. Yeah. I

22:39

thought, man, I didn't know if I knew it was going to take a twist and then it

22:41

went twisty twisty. Yeah. Yeah. It

22:44

was crazy. Yeah. Well,

22:47

and the lesson is don't do genetic

22:49

testing. You never get good. I'm just

22:51

kidding. I'm just kidding. I did it.

22:55

Only bad things can come out. I will tell

22:57

you this. I

22:59

got your family tree for paying. Dave,

23:03

you'll get a kick out of this. My doctor,

23:05

he ran the genetic test for me. It wasn't

23:07

with 23andMe. It was with his special program. And

23:09

he called and said, do you struggle walking

23:11

past a bowl of candy in an

23:13

office? And

23:15

I said, did my wife call you?

23:17

What happened? And he's like, I'm just looking at

23:19

your genetics and whoa. And I was like, yeah, we

23:21

should probably talk. This doctor, man, he's got

23:23

insight. We should talk. That wasn't

23:26

a DNA test. That was more than a DNA

23:28

test. Cindy's in Casper,

23:30

Wyoming. Hi, Cindy. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

23:34

Hello. Thank you so much for both of you

23:36

for what you do. And I'm one

23:38

of the Dr. John Deloney listeners. So thank you

23:40

as well to you. Thank you. I'm

23:43

excited and excited but nervous to talk to you

23:45

guys today. But I have things kind of lined

23:47

out, I hope. Okay. How can

23:50

we help? All right. So I unfortunately

23:52

got a divorce about a year ago. And I'm

23:54

still in the house making the payment. I'm

23:57

wondering what I should do in the next six months

23:59

after my daughter... or leave for college because

24:02

I still owe my ex money from the

24:04

house. So I have some questions and some

24:06

thoughts about that. So

24:11

the need to protect her by keeping the

24:13

home goes away when she leaves, correct? Correct.

24:17

And that might have been some of the motivation early in

24:19

this game. How

24:23

much do you owe the ex? Well,

24:26

the way the divorce decree is written is by

24:28

2026, I need

24:30

to pay him half of the appraised

24:33

market value at the

24:36

time I sell it. But

24:38

it's based on the amount owned on the

24:40

house when we divorced. So I'm making all

24:42

the payments on the house. So

24:45

when we divorced... So if you did it today, what

24:47

do you owe him today? If

24:50

I were to do it today, depending on... I haven't

24:52

actually got an appraisal, but I'm going to guess between

24:54

$75,000 and $100,000. Okay.

24:58

Do you have any money? Which would be half. No,

25:01

I'm on baby step three. Good. Okay.

25:04

And what's your household income? My

25:07

household income is about $70,000 off

25:10

of my full-time job. And then I

25:12

also have side hustles that bring in between $5,000

25:14

and $10,000 a year. And

25:16

you're getting ready to be in a matter of

25:18

months an empty nest or divorcee?

25:22

Correct. Okay. All right. Is

25:25

there a reason to keep the house? Before

25:30

I started listening to you six months ago,

25:33

my reason would have been the interest rate

25:35

is really low because of course we

25:37

refinance during that time. I

25:40

do... It's a great house.

25:42

I have great neighbors. The

25:44

location is 90% of the time awesome. And

25:50

I'm just comfortable here. There's really

25:52

no reason to leave except for

25:54

the debt piece of it. Okay.

26:00

question is that mathematically it

26:02

doesn't sound like keeping it is going to be

26:04

a blessing. It sounds like it's going

26:06

to be real tight. That

26:09

is yes that's part of what you

26:11

refinance that those payments on your income

26:13

are going to be tight. Agreed? Agreed.

26:17

There's got to be a real reason to

26:19

do this other than it's part of a

26:21

picture that is now shattered. And

26:24

Cindy I'm gonna ask you a question on your behalf. Dave

26:27

for every payment she makes of a

26:29

thousand bucks since he gets appraised value

26:31

minus sales price. No she got minus

26:33

the old mortgage amount the original mortgage

26:35

amount. Original mortgage amount. He's not gaining

26:37

ground while she's paying payments. Okay I

26:39

thought he was gaining half of every

26:41

payment. He's only gaining the value increase

26:44

correct? That's correct.

26:46

Yeah only gaining the value increase. Yeah

26:48

not the mortgage reduction. Okay so

26:50

no. And the other thing I'm up against is

26:52

I don't want to leave my community that I'm in

26:55

and I've been looking at houses kind of just keeping

26:57

an eye out for what's out there. And with

27:00

the increase in the rates as

27:02

well I'm struggling to find something

27:04

that's been with that 25% of

27:08

my take home. Well Cindy here's the

27:10

hardest thing about

27:14

divorce that they don't tell you. It

27:18

blows up every single corner of your life.

27:21

Right. And it's almost impossible

27:24

just to extract this relationship out

27:26

of your life and keep your

27:28

community, keep your geographical location,

27:30

keep your payments, keep your neighbors.

27:32

It does happen sometimes but

27:35

they don't tell you that. It's fairly rare.

27:37

It blows up everything and what I see

27:39

ground people is them trying to keep

27:42

parts of their life shackled to themselves and

27:44

they drag this into their future and it

27:46

ends up collapsing them under a payment you

27:48

can't afford or under. You're gonna go buy

27:50

a new house in the same neighborhood that's

27:52

gonna be way more expensive on a monthly

27:54

basis etc etc. It's

27:56

just a matter of exhaling and

27:58

realizing oh every... everything changed.

28:01

So, right, yeah you got to

28:03

digest that. The way I,

28:08

two decision-making tools I use in

28:10

situations like this or

28:12

other things is I look, number one, I look into

28:14

the future and I say what is the best decision

28:16

for me 20 years from today?

28:19

How old are you? I

28:22

am 46. Okay, so when

28:24

you're 66, what

28:27

decision makes you really like the

28:29

46 year old Cindy as being

28:31

wise? You know, what did you do? You look back and

28:33

you're, God that was so smart.

28:36

Or, God that was so dumb. I wish I

28:38

hadn't done that. You know, and sometimes if

28:40

I look that far forward, it

28:42

kind of magnifies this and it becomes

28:44

obvious. Alright, the second thing

28:47

I do is I use a sunk cost analysis

28:49

and you probably heard me do this, you said

28:51

you listen and that is if I

28:53

didn't already own it and I had the pile of money

28:55

in the middle of the table, would I come by this

28:57

house? Right.

29:00

Okay. And probably the answer to that

29:02

one is no. If

29:06

you were in a one bedroom apartment right now

29:08

and had that equity and your husband was gone,

29:10

your ex-husband was gone, he's paid off, he's gone.

29:12

You had your portion of the money in the

29:14

middle of the kitchen table and you're in a

29:16

one bedroom apartment, you probably wouldn't come by this

29:18

house. So you're defaulting backwards

29:20

into it. You know, you're

29:23

lobstering into it. You're running backwards into it

29:25

rather than making a proper forward based decision.

29:27

I don't think it's, I

29:29

don't think it's the end of the world if you keep it, but I

29:31

think it's going to be tight and I'm not sure it's worth it is

29:34

what I'm saying. This is the Ramsey Show. This

29:39

episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen,

29:42

if you can't even remember the last

29:44

time you had half an hour to

29:46

yourself, be honest, ask why. It's probably

29:48

because everyone else's schedules, priorities and

29:50

emergencies are driving your life. And

29:53

when you can't keep carrying that load, talking

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help.com/Deloni.

30:48

Dr. John Deloni, Ramsey personality is my

30:51

co-host today. Phone's a triple 8, 8-2-5,

30:53

5-2-2-5. John,

30:57

our last caller was, you and I talked

30:59

about it during the break briefly, was very

31:01

level headed. She'd been through a lot

31:03

of pain and yet there was

31:05

a wisdom. She was not being like,

31:08

she was not way super

31:10

emotional about it. She's really trying to

31:13

be wise and that was, it's

31:15

not always the case when I'm talking to somebody in a situation

31:17

that's been through that much pain. Their

31:19

daughter's leaving home for college right after a

31:22

divorce. She's got a lot of tearing, losing

31:24

her friends, losing her community, losing her house,

31:26

losing her husband. It was a, you

31:29

can always tell when someone's asking you a question because they want you

31:31

just to confirm what they're asking or I need some help. She

31:35

really did try to figure it out. Tell me the hard stuff.

31:38

Really trying to figure it out. That's a really good place for her.

31:40

It's also a jumping off point. I will tell you this, it's

31:43

one of the harder things in a one-on-one

31:45

coaching session that we've had to

31:47

deal with or even here on the air is in

31:50

a divorce situation and

31:52

it's not a moral construct, it's a

31:55

math thing, whether

31:57

it's right or not we can discuss,

31:59

but generally Similarly, in our culture

32:01

today, still, ladies

32:04

make less than gentlemen. The

32:07

income of males is still higher than females. Not

32:10

necessarily because of the jobs, not necessarily because

32:13

of a lot of different factors enter into

32:15

that, but the fact is

32:17

the mom generally after the

32:19

divorce has a greater reduction in

32:21

income than the husband. She

32:26

generally, mama bear, tries to keep

32:29

the kids have already had the pain of

32:31

dad leaving. Now she doesn't want

32:33

to have to have them move out of their bedroom, their

32:36

next door neighbor friends that they play kickball

32:38

with and pull them out of their

32:41

schools. And so she'll do anything

32:43

to keep them in a house that there's no

32:45

mathematical way she can afford. And

32:47

I've watched newly single moms, particularly with

32:50

young children, that lady's last child was

32:52

going off to college. She had that

32:54

benefit to this decision. It made this

32:56

decision easier. But when you got an

32:58

eight year old, a seven year old, and a five year

33:00

old that are crying, where's daddy? And

33:03

don't take me out of my kindergarten class that are, I

33:05

love my Miss Jones or whatever,

33:07

right? And you're going to try to find

33:10

a way to make a payment that does not fit in

33:12

those numbers. And

33:14

it usually sets them back as

33:16

much as a decade financially

33:19

instead of just going

33:21

like you said, it sucks. Everything's

33:23

blown up. Everything's blown up. And we've

33:26

got to move to a cheaper house. And

33:28

there was that time that that thing happened. And

33:31

families and other generations just did that,

33:33

right? You know, the husband died. And

33:37

so the family lost the farm, you

33:39

know, there wouldn't be somebody that loaned them that much money

33:41

for that long, etc. Right? Yeah, they

33:44

weren't there. There wasn't an option. They were forced into

33:47

housing that they could afford, you

33:49

know, and it's just it's so freaking

33:51

emotionally painful, though, because

33:54

on the short term, it just rips

33:56

everything out by the hair. But

33:58

on the long term, it's the only thing that's ever happened. thing you can do

34:00

to recover. Yeah, I've gone to telling

34:02

parents the greatest gift you can give your kid

34:05

is not the schools and

34:07

the stuff. It's a regulated you. And

34:10

so you... Freaked out single mom trying to pay

34:12

a payment. She can't pay working six jobs. It's

34:14

an electric home. So I keep you in a

34:16

house so everything's okay, but now everything's not okay

34:18

because you're freaked out. Everybody lives in a

34:20

bug zapper then, right? Exactly. Versus a

34:22

mom who's able to laugh and breathe because she

34:25

can make the two bedroom apartment payments. Is

34:27

that ideal? No, it's the worst, man. It's

34:29

the worst. They're gonna afford the spaghetti and

34:32

the peanut butter and jelly. Now we can laugh, we

34:34

can breathe, we can go for walks out in the

34:36

park and your kid's nervous systems will adjust to that.

34:39

More than they will. The chaos. To try

34:41

to keep everything as similar as it

34:44

was. The sameness is not

34:46

the answer. Because

34:48

nothing's the same. Everything's gone. If you can afford it and

34:50

want to stay, that's fine. I don't have a problem with

34:52

that, but I will tell you that probably seven

34:54

out of ten times I'm just looking at the numbers with

34:56

somebody in this situation, they gotta move. And

34:59

I gotta be the one to tell them.

35:01

Divorce is just one of those things that's

35:03

so pervasive, it happens so often, that everybody

35:06

thinks it's just gonna continue on. We don't

35:08

realize how painful it is and how

35:11

disruptive it is to every corner of our life.

35:14

It's very real. Hailey

35:16

is with us in Oklahoma. Hi, Hailey.

35:18

Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave.

35:20

Hey, what's up? Okay,

35:24

so my husband and I just really don't want to

35:26

be stuck in middle class for the rest of

35:29

our life. We've been married 10 years now. We

35:31

did your baby steps. One,

35:34

I think I made it to two maybe at the beginning, probably

35:37

four years ago. My

35:39

husband lost his job during COVID

35:41

and we moved from northwest Arkansas

35:43

over to Oklahoma and

35:46

the current job he has now, he's making

35:48

$65,000 a year. So,

35:51

he has a brand new truck

35:53

that is required by the job and

35:55

it has to be five years or newer. We're

35:58

really, really just trying to. to look

36:00

for another job he's been actively looking

36:03

and applying. So my question is, how

36:05

do we get him a good job

36:07

to support like our family? We are

36:09

currently in, we're fixing

36:11

to have a fourth baby. We have outgrown our

36:13

one vehicle that we do have that's his truck.

36:16

We're gonna need a newer vehicle. Just,

36:19

we feel like it's this recurring mountain of

36:22

living paycheck to paycheck and trying to set

36:24

back money. And when he lost his job

36:26

during COVID, we had money

36:28

set back in savings and depleted all of

36:30

that. Cause he was just working

36:32

odds and in jobs trying to make ends

36:35

meet. We both went

36:37

to college, both have bachelor's degrees. What's

36:39

your degree in? It's just,

36:41

poultry science and ag business. Okay.

36:45

And you have four littles at home.

36:48

Yes. And that's your job? Three littles, I'm

36:51

pregnant with the fourth one. No, three plus a three and a

36:53

half. Okay. And that's your full-time job.

36:55

Okay. Yes sir. And

36:58

his degree is in what? Same

37:00

thing. And you've got a, how much debt?

37:05

The truck is how much debt? The

37:08

truck is about 38,000 less. Okay.

37:11

And what else? We

37:14

have about, I

37:16

think maybe $5,000 more. Just

37:20

one of my student loans that, that

37:23

no, I was gonna get, we got that last year. And

37:25

then. How much is it? Just, it's

37:28

4,500. And

37:30

he has a 48,000 dollar truck, and what else? And

37:34

then we just, we have $1,000 on our credit card and

37:36

that's it. Okay. You

37:38

realize that you all lie to yourself about the

37:41

truck, right? Yes,

37:43

yeah. Okay, because you can buy a five

37:45

year old truck a lot cheaper than he bought that. That

37:48

met the guidelines for work. Well the truck has to be

37:50

eight, yeah. Yeah, it

37:52

has to be five years into everything. And

37:55

do they pay him up? Do they pay him in addition to 65,000

37:57

for the truck? Very

38:00

little. He gets like so many cents per

38:02

mile. It does not match up at all.

38:05

Okay. So his truck, it's only good for

38:08

another two years before it falls out of

38:10

the requirement. And so obviously looking for another

38:12

job to get out of that and

38:14

just sell his truck and be able to pay cash

38:16

something for us so they can be able to loan

38:19

our families. Yeah, I mean you can make $55,000 a year

38:21

and be way ahead of this. This is a bad deal.

38:24

Yeah. It's a really, really bad deal. So

38:29

how big a company is this that he works for?

38:34

Decently, sorry. I mean, they got a

38:36

thousand employees, a hundred employees, what? Probably

38:40

more than like a couple thousand and they're

38:42

in three, four, five, I think four different

38:44

states. Okay. They're one of the top

38:47

producers. Yeah. I think he needs to get a job. Yeah.

38:50

That's part of the answer. And

38:52

you guys can't lie to yourself next time

38:55

and say that a $48,000 truck fits your

38:57

world because it doesn't fit your world. Just

39:00

because somebody told you that you had to do that

39:02

to get a job, that you just don't take that

39:04

job. That's not a job. That was a no that

39:06

you said yes to. Yeah. Because

39:09

you're desperate and scared. You had little

39:11

to feed, I understand. But that

39:14

was a no. You should have done some, you

39:16

know, you've been better off doing almost anything else.

39:18

That was a trap. And

39:20

so, yeah, you know,

39:22

once he starts getting a sniff on a couple of

39:24

other positions, I would tell him to go to his

39:26

supervisor and say, I can't

39:28

stay anymore and finance a truck

39:31

for this multimillion-dollar company. Yeah.

39:35

This multimillion-dollar company wants me to buy them a

39:37

truck and I can't afford it. I

39:40

have four kids to feed and you

39:42

don't pay me enough to

39:45

finance a truck for you. So

39:47

screw this. Yeah.

39:50

I mean, really. But how do you set money back to

39:52

do that even when you do get a new job and

39:54

living paycheck to paycheck? Yeah. Well, you get

39:56

the truck sold and the only answers are

39:58

three things. One is... Expenses

40:01

go down, two is

40:03

income goes up, and three is we

40:05

manage the snot out of the money

40:07

we have using a detailed budget. That

40:09

part you're probably not doing. Probably

40:11

doing a decent job of what you got. You're

40:14

not flush or anything like that. You're not wasteful,

40:16

but you could tighten this up a lot. And

40:19

then you guys got to work on getting your income up, and

40:21

that includes you doing something from home. This

40:23

is the Ramsey Show. Well

40:32

we help people build wealth,

40:35

do work, set their love, and

40:38

create actual, amazing relationships.

40:41

Dr. John DeWiskey, Ramsey personality is

40:43

my co-host today, and we talk about your

40:45

life and your money. It's

40:48

a free call. Some say the advice is worth

40:50

exactly what you pay for it. The

40:52

phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Linda is with us

40:54

in Seattle. Hi,

41:03

Linda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi.

41:06

Thank you very much for taking my call. Sure.

41:08

What's up? So

41:11

I have a 26-year-old

41:13

son, and he's getting

41:16

a PhD. And

41:19

he's a great kid. Love him

41:21

to death. Great heart. He

41:25

doesn't make a ton. He's on a budget.

41:27

He's very aware of his expenses. He's

41:30

in a low rent area. The

41:33

problem is he doesn't always have enough money

41:35

to make ends meet without

41:38

going into debt. My

41:40

question is, should I be

41:42

supplementing him monthly? I

41:45

can't afford it. Or

41:47

should I wait until he has

41:49

a car repair and

41:51

then give him that

41:53

or a computer repair? I'm

41:57

trying to get him on his feet. at

42:00

least he has four more years of his

42:03

program. I'm not, I don't want to enable

42:05

him but we both

42:07

don't want him, you know, he knows we don't want him

42:09

to go into debt but...

42:12

What's the program? It's

42:15

an environmental science program. He

42:19

just started? Well

42:21

he's one year in. It's

42:23

a five-year program for a PhD,

42:25

yeah. Mm-hmm. So they are, I guess

42:29

here's my... For

42:31

what? What's he gonna do? Well

42:35

he's probably going to

42:37

be working in a nonprofit when

42:39

he's done. He loves what he does, he's

42:43

doing a lot of research, he

42:45

does get paid, he has good benefits, medical,

42:48

all of that. He's going for five years to get

42:50

a job that doesn't pay well? Well

42:55

I'm hoping he will make,

42:58

you know, enough money when he gets out

43:00

to support himself. Well I

43:02

hope so after five freaking years working

43:04

on a PhD but

43:07

I mean his whole goal here is to work in

43:09

an underpaid job, that's what he's working towards. You

43:14

know he might own

43:16

the nonprofit actually when

43:18

he's done.

43:20

Well then we would call that

43:22

a for-profit. Why

43:25

does it have to be a nonprofit? I'm so

43:28

confused. Is he a TA? Yes.

43:31

Okay. Does he have some

43:33

restrictions on his work schedule? Yeah,

43:36

like he can't really go out and get another

43:39

job right now. It says

43:41

who? Is that program specific? Because here's

43:43

why. I got

43:45

a second PhD while working as an

43:48

associate dean, dean of

43:50

students at a law school while also

43:53

being a parent, while

43:55

also working in the graduate

43:57

school teaching classes for extra money on top of

43:59

all. other things. Now,

44:02

I had a heroic wife that kept the

44:05

house duct tape together and everything

44:07

moving and running, but I

44:10

hear grad students a lot telling me, you

44:12

know, I just can't and my first instinct

44:14

is I did and you can and I

44:17

had to go see clients on top of that. I mean I

44:19

had to see my client at six o'clock in the morning or

44:21

seven in the morning or seven at night because I had to

44:23

go to my full-time job and be a parent. And

44:27

so, if he's got TA responsibilities,

44:29

that's 20 hours a week and he gets

44:31

his benefits and his tuition discount and his

44:34

lab work, but

44:36

there's nothing to say he can't go work

44:38

at a restaurant and go get a full-time

44:41

job somewhere else in an adjacent field

44:43

that maybe is going to lead to career opportunities

44:45

bigger than I just

44:48

want to go whatever. You

44:50

see what I'm saying? I guess

44:53

I just don't buy it. Now, if you're getting a

44:55

PhD in psychology, they will tell you, you cannot work

44:57

another job or law school, you can't work another job

44:59

because it's too demanding. Cool, fine.

45:02

The payoff on the other end of those jobs is very

45:04

different than what you're describing as well. And

45:07

so, I guess I just have a hard time with

45:09

the, well, he just can't because he's busy. I don't

45:11

buy it. You figure out the time. You

45:14

figure out the time. And if you can't,

45:16

then you all have to as a family say, okay, he

45:18

can't afford this. As a family, are

45:21

we going to subsidize this for the

45:23

next four years because this problem doesn't

45:25

go away. It's not, you know, if

45:27

you create sustainability by you subsidizing it,

45:30

then it's a four-year promise because

45:34

we don't have an avenue, we don't have

45:36

an exit ramp to you sustaining it or

45:38

to you subsidizing it, right? Right,

45:41

okay. And I don't like

45:43

the, I don't like personally, I don't like the

45:45

problem specific. You just call us if you

45:47

have a problem because that's going

45:50

to lead to a lot of resentment and, well, did

45:52

you do that? I'd much rather prefer, hey, we're going

45:54

to agree to cover your rent. Yeah, I think I

45:56

would do the monthly amount if you're going to promise

45:58

to do something like that. four years. But

46:01

then on top of that answer

46:03

to your question, we're giving you two pieces

46:05

of advice. The first

46:07

one is John saying he needs to explore

46:09

work avenues because... Lots of

46:11

them. Yeah. And

46:14

most people who went to

46:16

college worked. Most

46:19

people. It's very unusual

46:21

for someone even working on a

46:23

PhD program to not work and

46:26

work a lot. I worked 40 to 60 hours.

46:29

I graduated in four years with a 2.97 because

46:32

I was at work all the time and

46:35

I got out of school. So if I wanted out

46:37

of school, I was paying for it. I didn't have

46:39

any desire to hang around that place. I wanted out.

46:42

And so I want to

46:44

quit writing them checks and start receiving checks. That

46:46

was my goal. So that's

46:48

the first piece of advice. The second piece of advice

46:51

is I think there's a

46:53

little bit more. If I'm his mom

46:56

and dad, before I start writing

46:58

them checks, because basically I'm endorsing

47:00

this path, I want to

47:02

know more about where this is taking me. Because

47:06

education for education's sake is a

47:08

bad plan when you're this broke.

47:11

It's a luxury. It's a luxury.

47:13

And education that's not

47:15

for luxury is for return

47:17

on investment. I'm not

47:20

hearing a good return on investment here in

47:23

what you're describing. And so

47:25

if you're going to go an extra five years to

47:28

school beyond a normal

47:31

four or five years, now we're talking

47:33

about a decade you've been in

47:35

school, then you should

47:38

have pay north of six figures

47:40

day one. Because

47:42

you can graduate with a four year degree in

47:45

logistics right now and walk out making 90 to

47:47

100. You

47:49

can be a diesel mechanic with a

47:51

two year degree and make 90 to

47:53

100. So what's

47:56

your ROI on this extra five

47:58

years of PhDing

48:01

and it needs to be more than I want

48:03

to be called doctor. Oh Absolutely,

48:05

and I've got friends who are into environmental issues

48:08

And then they have their day job and then

48:10

they work on these things on the weekends. They

48:12

go to presentations They if

48:14

you're passionate about something you can study it all day

48:16

long, but you don't take five years

48:18

out off of life to

48:21

go do this thing unless it's leading towards

48:24

a an obtainable goal the PhD should

48:26

be a requirement for Additional

48:28

income that you wouldn't have without the PhD.

48:30

Yeah or licensure or something You have to

48:32

have a picture to licensure that which takes

48:34

you to additional income, you know, you pass

48:37

the bar, right? Hello, you know something like

48:39

that. It needs to take you somewhere and

48:42

So I really want to understand more about that if

48:44

I'm in your shoes because I love my son. This

48:47

is the Ramsey show Dr.

48:54

John Deloni Ramsey personality is

48:56

my co-host today open

48:58

phones a triple-8 8 2 5 5 2

49:03

2 5. Thanks for joining us. Alex is with

49:05

us in Chattanooga. Hi Alex. Welcome to the show

49:09

Hey Dave, how are you today better than I deserve?

49:11

What's up? Hey, I

49:13

love the show of the air network actually came to

49:15

my debt-free screen with you a couple years ago So

49:17

thank you for you and your team and all that

49:19

you do. Thank you No,

49:21

thank you So I think I

49:23

know the answer to this but I kind of want to get

49:26

to like I guess Kind

49:28

of a second question if I can I have

49:30

an opportunity. I'm a registered nurse.

49:32

I'm 35 single no kids at

49:34

it There's an opportunity

49:36

for me to stop travel nursing

49:40

and relocate to San Francisco

49:43

for a staff position the

49:47

I would be making with no overtime

49:49

about 225 and I've talked

49:51

to some people they can make about up to 300,000

49:53

a year With

49:56

overtime now, I do understand it's

50:00

San Francisco, it's very expensive and all of

50:02

those things. But just

50:04

for traveling, there's just a lot of uncertainty.

50:06

Your contract can be canceled at any time.

50:08

The pay rates have gone down since COVID.

50:10

I'm kind of tired of being on the

50:12

road, kind of all those

50:15

things. I've talked to people that have been out there and they like

50:17

it. California does have some

50:19

strong unions. And

50:22

with that, you have, you know, your guaranteed

50:25

staffing ratios, because you know, the other thing-

50:27

Okay, how can we help? I'm sorry. I

50:30

know at San Francisco, is it

50:32

crazy to think to move out there for, I

50:36

mean, what's the high cost of living

50:38

out there? Well,

50:42

I mean, like, you know, you've obviously analyzed

50:44

that. 300,000 in San Francisco is not 300,000 in Columbus,

50:46

Ohio, or

50:51

Dallas, Texas. You've

50:54

got a, number one, you got a 14% tax

50:56

now, income tax there, but you don't

50:58

have another state. And you've

51:01

got an extremely high cost of living. San Francisco is one

51:03

of the most expensive cities to live in in the world.

51:06

And so, as long as you've analyzed

51:08

all of that and you still want to go, I'm not

51:11

going to tell somebody not to do what they want to

51:13

do. That's what you want to do. Okay.

51:17

I mean, I mean, there's nothing wrong with what you're analyzing. What

51:20

is interesting to me though is this,

51:24

what I might think about if I'm you, because

51:26

I feel like you're, the

51:29

fact that you're asking us the question

51:31

is, it's

51:34

almost like you've got some hesitation.

51:37

Like you're not really complete

51:40

gun hole, right? So, one of

51:44

the things I always like to do is, I make

51:46

better decisions if I have lots of options. You

51:48

presented me only two options, a

51:51

declining income with travel and

51:53

your declining desire to travel,

51:57

versus San Francisco. Those are only two

51:59

options. What about a third

52:01

or fourth or fifth option that includes

52:05

other cities at 200,000 that nets

52:10

out of lifestyle and taxes about

52:12

the same? And

52:15

it's a quality of life you like more or less.

52:17

I don't know. But

52:20

it feels like you have to take this because

52:22

it's your only exit from the road. And

52:24

that's simply not accurate. Yes,

52:29

sir. I completely agree. Yeah, I'm

52:31

essentially looking forward to, like I said, I'm

52:33

single. I want to go somewhere and settle

52:35

some roots. And so I

52:38

can, as a nurse, I did have the luxury

52:40

of going those places. I mean, just nursing pay,

52:42

like I said, I live in Chattanooga. The pay

52:44

in the South is just

52:46

one of the lowest. I've lived in Memphis

52:48

and traveled around the South for the last

52:50

couple of years. I

52:53

mean, the pay that I got offered

52:55

here in Chattanooga was $33 an hour and extra. But

52:59

again, you're using a barbell, dude. You've

53:03

got one on one side and one on the other. There's a

53:05

big middle range there. I've

53:08

gotten myself in trouble chasing a salary

53:10

amount that made me feel like I

53:12

was being valued and not doing the

53:14

math in a 360-degree way. And

53:18

again, if you keep saying I'm single, if you're

53:20

single and you think the San Francisco vibe is

53:22

cool and that's a vibe you want to live

53:25

in, it's a lifestyle, the environment you

53:30

want to plug into socially, that kind of stuff,

53:33

have at it, dude. I got no issue with that

53:35

at all. I'm

53:37

a redneck hillbilly. The

53:40

chances of me doing that is zero because

53:42

I would stand out like a

53:44

sore thumb there, so I wouldn't fit in and

53:47

wouldn't want to. But that's okay.

53:49

That doesn't mean it's not for you. So

53:51

I can't advise you on that part of it. You've got to

53:54

decide that for yourself. I

54:00

am going to challenge you to find three more solid

54:02

offers and quit just blowing

54:04

up the entire South. Oh, come on, give me a

54:06

break. Freaking Atlanta, Georgia, Nashville,

54:08

Tennessee, which is the center of Hospital

54:11

Corporation of America and three other major

54:13

hospital companies, a major medical corridor,

54:15

it runs right through freaking

54:18

Nashville, is underpaid. Give me a break. Not

54:20

a chance. Not a chance.

54:23

So, the other thing, go spend some time.

54:26

When my wife and I were deciding, we

54:28

decided, hey, we're going to leave West Texas,

54:32

we went and visited some places. One of them was

54:34

in Nashville. We came here to watch, to see a

54:36

concert and to just spend a couple of days here.

54:39

And we left thinking, all right, that one's

54:41

on our list. And so go experience the

54:43

place, man. But I think you're

54:45

tied to, somebody said 300,000 and your heart went, that's

54:47

right. And

54:50

you're going to make it work. You're

54:53

going to tell yourself any number of stories to back up,

54:55

I want to make $300,000 and

54:58

good on you, but don't

55:01

do it just for that number. Yeah,

55:03

that would be a mistake because I think you could

55:05

have a comparable number other places.

55:07

If you put a little research into

55:10

your job hunt, you know, get on

55:12

kingcoleman.com and let's lay that

55:14

out. But again, if you just decide

55:16

to go do it, Kristen, Alex, there's

55:18

nothing wrong with what you're doing. Beautiful

55:21

part of the country. Absolutely

55:23

gorgeous, you're right. And

55:25

there's a lot of very cool stuff there. There's a

55:27

lot of very uncool stuff there too. But

55:30

it's just a matter of where you want to live and what

55:32

you want to do and what you want to plug into. But

55:36

no, is it a slam dunk decision? No,

55:38

it's not. And you make

55:40

better decisions the more options you have.

55:42

Options, options, options gives you power. It

55:45

gives you the sense to calm down. You can

55:47

negotiate better with the other option if you've got

55:50

real options outside of your thing. So

55:53

always have lots of different things you can do

55:55

when you're making a decision. Open

55:57

phones at 888-825-4243. 5-225.

56:00

I was with Ken

56:04

Coleman and some of the guys working on his team earlier

56:06

this morning we're talking about one of the things that's popping

56:08

up right now with people looking

56:11

for positions is soft

56:14

skills. We've got

56:16

a group of people regardless

56:18

of age that or

56:20

which generation if you want to label it one way

56:23

or another that don't

56:25

have good EQ,

56:27

emotional quotient. They cannot

56:31

do conflict. They cannot

56:34

do basic conversations. Look people in the eye,

56:37

string a sentence together,

56:39

have a standard normal

56:41

in-person person-to-person conversation because

56:43

they've done everything on their phone and

56:46

their brains are wired and

56:49

they've lost the ability to do it other than

56:51

they can text you across the room. They can't

56:53

sit and talk to you like a person and

56:56

so these soft skills are a big problem. Decision-making

56:58

is one of those soft skills because what happens

57:00

in the digital world if you don't like something

57:02

you just move. You

57:05

can't do that if you move to San Francisco. It's

57:09

harder to undo real decisions instead

57:11

of virtual decisions. Virtual

57:13

means not real. That's

57:17

what it means literally. That's the meaning

57:19

of the word. It's not real. It's

57:21

a fake version of real. That's what

57:24

virtual means. Look it up in the

57:26

dictionary. So you know soft skills in

57:28

that goes decision-making. So decision-making is one

57:30

good decision-making rule. You

57:33

need more options. Another decision-making rule is

57:36

the more important the decision, the

57:38

larger the impact of the decision,

57:41

the slower you make the decision.

57:43

That's why you don't go out on a date and

57:45

get married the next day. Right?

57:48

That's why you don't go look at a car and

57:50

buy it when you walk on the lot. It's

57:53

why you don't buy a house

57:55

having looked at only one. Right?

57:57

Big decisions require length of time.

58:00

time to make wise decisions. Small decisions you

58:02

can make fast. Because you can

58:04

not, you know, what pack of gum do I want?

58:06

You can make that decision. If it's wrong, it doesn't

58:08

kill you. But the other stuff will throw you off.

58:10

Slow down on the big stuff. This

58:13

is the Ramsey Show. Dr.

58:19

John Deloni, Ramsey Personality, is

58:22

my co-host today. Well, let's

58:24

face it, taxes suck. They're

58:27

confusing. We don't like

58:29

them. No one wants to finance

58:31

a $25,000 toilet seat, and we all know we're

58:34

doing it. We all know the government's irresponsible

58:36

with our money when we send it to them, but we have

58:38

to do it. Because there's jail time

58:40

involved. So we have to do it, right? So

58:42

we're going to do what we're supposed to do.

58:45

So people ask all the time, what's the

58:47

truth about taxes? Well, here's the

58:49

truth. Don't trust just anybody with your taxes. Because

58:52

a lot of people say that taxes are like a lot of things. A

58:54

lot of people say they know something about it, and they don't. So

58:56

if you have a complicated return, we

58:59

have vetted and worked with, in

59:01

detail, done the due diligence on

59:04

about a thousand folks that are

59:06

professional tax preparers that can help

59:08

you with a really

59:10

complicated return. They're

59:12

Ramsey trusted. The reason they're trusted is

59:15

we check them out up and down,

59:17

right? And so just

59:19

go to Ramsey trusted or

59:22

go to ramsesolutions.com/taxpro, and

59:24

you can find the one in your area, and they'll sit

59:26

down with you. Now, if you do not have a complicated

59:28

return, I wouldn't spend that much

59:30

money. I would just go get the Ramsey

59:32

SmartTax software. It's very inexpensive, 30, 40 bucks.

59:35

There's no extra add-ons, no gotchas. I'm not going

59:37

to try to sell you a credit card or

59:39

some other crap like these people at TurboTax. Their

59:41

whole thing is they want to sell you something

59:44

else other than tax work. And

59:47

so our deal is real simple. That's why there's

59:49

now, this year, I think they'll

59:51

have about 100,000 people prepare their taxes with

59:53

the Ramsey SmartTax software because it's

59:55

very simple. You just try to boom, boom,

59:58

boom, boom. There we go. ramsesolutions.com. We'll

1:00:01

hook you up. Kristin's with us

1:00:03

in San Antonio. Hi, Kristin. Welcome to the Ramsey

1:00:06

Show. Hey, Dave

1:00:08

and John. I

1:00:10

am kind of considering maybe

1:00:12

buying my mom a car. She's turning 70. Very

1:00:15

soon. I'm super excited for

1:00:17

her. I just want to do something

1:00:19

totally generous, just blow her mind, and

1:00:22

just want to be smart about it too. That's

1:00:24

awesome. Very cool. Very cool,

1:00:26

Kristin. Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:29

I assume you have the money in cash. I got my mom

1:00:31

a high five when she turned 70. Now I'm feeling bad. Well,

1:00:35

I've given her many high fives, but I'm ready to

1:00:37

maybe do a little bit more. I do have the

1:00:39

money in cash. How much is the car? Well,

1:00:43

I haven't even started looking too

1:00:45

seriously because I just didn't

1:00:47

know if I was being crazy or not. I don't know. What

1:00:50

do you think of it roughly? I mean, are you talking about spending $100,000 or $50,000 or

1:00:52

$10,000? Between

1:00:55

$25,000 and $30,000. Okay. All

1:00:57

right. How much is it? Okay.

1:01:01

Good for you. Getting there. Good

1:01:03

for you. So what are you, $50,000? Yeah.

1:01:07

Good for you. What do you make? Thank

1:01:09

you. Last year, made a little over $200,000. Hopefully

1:01:13

on track for that this year, which is kind of

1:01:15

why. You're killing it. And you're out of

1:01:18

debt? I am. Totally debt

1:01:20

free. I have 65 left on my house.

1:01:22

Good for you. So I'm still close. Good for

1:01:24

you. Yeah. Thank

1:01:26

you. Okay. That sounds very

1:01:28

wise to me. I

1:01:32

just, I'm so frugal. I don't

1:01:34

spend money. I just want to

1:01:36

pull her mind. I just, I

1:01:39

think that would be really cool. I mean,

1:01:41

is there any issue with the relationship with her? No.

1:01:45

My mom is not controlling,

1:01:47

not enabled. You're not trying to make up

1:01:50

for some childhood scar by doing this or.

1:01:53

No. I just want to bless her. She

1:01:56

took care of my dad when he was sick. He

1:01:59

passed away. 25 years ago, he was 40,

1:02:01

I died from cancer. She's very

1:02:03

remarried. She lives just a quiet

1:02:05

knife. She'd be there for my sister and I

1:02:08

in a heartbeat. With anything, she's

1:02:10

supported me my whole life and no

1:02:13

guilt, no nothing, just, I

1:02:15

just love my amazing mom and I just wanna do

1:02:17

something outrageous for her. Touchdown.

1:02:21

You're very cool. I really like

1:02:23

you. A lot. Thank

1:02:26

you. Yeah, I hope my kid says something about me like that. That'd

1:02:29

be neat. I can't speak, Kristen,

1:02:31

because I'm gonna cry and I haven't done that yet on any

1:02:33

of these shows and I'm pretty dang close. I

1:02:35

cried in Apple Beach commercials. Kristen,

1:02:39

you're pretty amazing. You're pretty amazing, honey. Go buy

1:02:41

the car. There's absolutely zero check in anything you're

1:02:43

saying. Please send us a photo or a video

1:02:45

of your mom getting it and send it here

1:02:48

to the guys on the show. Yeah,

1:02:50

we'll put it up on the YouTube. I wanna see it personally.

1:02:53

That's a beautiful story. Yeah, it's a great story.

1:02:55

I've got friends that have done that. A

1:02:57

lot of people, but I wanna tell you guys. I

1:03:00

wanna tell you guys. I want you to tell

1:03:02

a friend's family. It can be just for her.

1:03:04

And so I definitely will take a photo and. One

1:03:07

of my favorite stories, and we've videoed it. We haven't played

1:03:09

it in a while. I don't know if it's on the

1:03:11

YouTube channel or not. It's an old story. A buddy of

1:03:13

mine, his dad,

1:03:16

this friend of mine is 60. So

1:03:19

his dad, or is 50

1:03:21

something, right? So his

1:03:23

dad sold a 1930 or 40 or something

1:03:26

car when,

1:03:30

that wouldn't have been that old. It would have

1:03:32

been 1960s or something. Okay. Oh,

1:03:34

I knew you were talking about, yeah. I'm trying to think. And

1:03:36

he sold the car when his kid was, when my buddy was

1:03:38

born, his dad couldn't afford this car anymore.

1:03:40

He sold it. He sold it to a friend down the

1:03:42

street. That friend kept it for many,

1:03:45

many years and sold it to a pastor. And

1:03:49

my buddy now is making big money and he

1:03:51

went and found that pastor still had it, talked

1:03:53

him into selling it back to him and

1:03:56

gave it back to his dad. Like 50

1:03:58

years later. I Saw that video. That when

1:04:00

got me get out and that's

1:04:02

that's a version of what you're

1:04:04

doing writer and it's really cool

1:04:06

is very to our artists you

1:04:08

baby steps. Seven is build wealth

1:04:10

and Gales. We. Tell people

1:04:13

what I'm live like no one else

1:04:15

so later you can give and li

1:04:17

of like no one else and that's

1:04:19

where exactly what you're doing. You're amazing

1:04:21

by your mama car you to touchdown.

1:04:24

That's. So cool, So fine. This.

1:04:27

Is what money's good for. It's

1:04:29

not good for much else. Feed.

1:04:31

You. Legion. And seat

1:04:34

others. It's. About what is good

1:04:36

for this really good carriers were the

1:04:38

Senate all am today Georgia Hey Carey

1:04:40

welcome to the Ramsey show! Or

1:04:43

yell better than I deserve. What's up? I'm

1:04:47

okay. So either things yourself about

1:04:49

eight months. I'm undated that number

1:04:51

two am I paid off and out

1:04:53

or thousand dollars. Worth a damn, About

1:04:55

ninety three thousand and left ago. But

1:04:58

that my mortgage. So including mortgage

1:05:00

on. Question Out Had

1:05:02

some ah work care guy

1:05:04

com man and said that

1:05:06

I need a new H

1:05:08

taxistan I may need a

1:05:10

new electrical more pair Adams

1:05:12

Plumbing altogether it's can weed

1:05:14

out twenty one thousand dollars

1:05:16

and I use. Yes,

1:05:19

Ivory. Stop stop of

1:05:21

images thrive in the Aids virus. Now

1:05:23

there is a segment of that world

1:05:25

that does that. Don't. Let that go

1:05:27

back. In your house is a crook. I'm

1:05:32

calling Bs. He told

1:05:34

your family was in danger didn't. See.

1:05:38

That in our culture quality now and they

1:05:40

be at your house My burn down and

1:05:42

it'll be your faulted for children Bad. Guy

1:05:45

says it's almost as got back in your

1:05:47

house with her. You. Can tell A nose

1:05:50

for up drone. That. Will

1:05:52

Lay. Down there's a. There's. a segment

1:05:54

of the heating and air business that does

1:05:56

a wonderful job in there is a segments

1:05:59

that are completion And they will come

1:06:01

in and tell you that your furnace is leaking

1:06:03

and your you know your everybody in the house

1:06:05

is gonna dive carbon Monoxide poisoning if you don't

1:06:07

fix it although it's been this way for five

1:06:10

years, and we all seem to be fine But

1:06:13

yeah, this is a this is bull

1:06:15

crap now. Do you maybe need a

1:06:17

new furnace in the future? Yeah, but

1:06:19

is it nearly as expensive or? Urgent

1:06:23

as you were told a hundred

1:06:25

percent No, you can do

1:06:27

this much cheaper than this bozo, and

1:06:30

it's probably not as urgent as he

1:06:32

said I'm not a hundred percent sure,

1:06:34

but I'm ninety nine point seven percent

1:06:36

sure Okay I've

1:06:39

already put about fifty five hundred dollars

1:06:42

into the house to get the crawl

1:06:44

space waterproof The house

1:06:46

is about thirty years old, and I only

1:06:48

plan on being here about another seven years.

1:06:51

Do you? Think I

1:06:53

should put more money into the house Well,

1:06:56

I mean if the if the heating and air is not working

1:06:58

you're going to have to fix the heating and air But right

1:07:00

now we don't have that issue Okay,

1:07:03

yeah, you're gonna have to put more money in the house

1:07:05

if you live there in some breaks You're gonna have to

1:07:07

do that, but do you upgrade? $21,000

1:07:11

worth of stuff cuz some bozo no and

1:07:13

carry you owe a hundred thousand dollars don't you? 93

1:07:21

not including my mortgage yeah Stop stop fixing

1:07:24

your house unless something's broken. It's in

1:07:26

dire shape nothing's leaking or Sparking

1:07:28

or anything like that just keep moving

1:07:31

yeah, this is the Ramsey show If

1:07:36

you've taken financial peace University You know

1:07:38

how life-changing it is and there's no

1:07:41

better way to share that hope than

1:07:43

by leading an FPU class at your

1:07:45

church Because right now someone you know

1:07:48

in your church is struggling bad. They're

1:07:50

drowning in debt They're scared to death and

1:07:52

don't know what to do and you can

1:07:54

be the one to step up and give

1:07:57

them hope just like your FPU coordinator did

1:07:59

for you Start making a

1:08:01

difference as a coordinator by

1:08:03

going to fpu.com/lead Dr.

1:08:08

John Deloni Ramsey personality is my

1:08:10

co-host today open phones a triple-eight

1:08:13

825 5 2 to

1:08:15

5 Well,

1:08:18

we've got three events coming up where

1:08:20

you can get Ramsey teachings live in

1:08:23

person in an auditorium with thousands

1:08:25

of other people Just like you total

1:08:28

money makeover weekend event May

1:08:31

10th and 11th this two-day event is

1:08:34

the ultimate motivator to get fired up

1:08:37

join us in Nashville And you can leave money stress at

1:08:39

the door. We're not only going to get you out of

1:08:41

debt We're going to get you into wealth we're going to

1:08:43

talk to you about generosity how to get your income up

1:08:46

How to walk through the relational issues as you're

1:08:48

doing all of this How

1:08:50

to be married or not married with money and without money.

1:08:53

We're going to walk through the whole thing it is a

1:08:55

total Money makeover weekend

1:08:57

May 10 and 11 on

1:08:59

the campus here the Ramsey Event

1:09:02

Center on the hill it only holds 2,400 It

1:09:05

is on its way to being an early sellout and

1:09:07

you need to get your tickets now The

1:09:10

next thing is I'm going to be doing

1:09:12

something. I've never done before Dave Ramsey's investing

1:09:14

essentials a two-night virtual event May

1:09:16

21 and 22

1:09:19

it's my personal playbook on investing in real

1:09:21

estate George Campbell and I are going

1:09:23

to unpack the basics of investing and also go deep

1:09:25

on Real estate and other investing

1:09:27

and the scams that are out there and

1:09:30

the things that the rich don't do the

1:09:32

lies that are told To you by tick-tock

1:09:34

and other social media platforms about this The

1:09:37

last one is a money and marriage event next fall October

1:09:39

24 and 25. This is dr. John

1:09:42

Deloney and Rachel Cruz

1:09:44

with real-life Answers to

1:09:46

your hard questions about money and marriage

1:09:48

a whole weekend away with your

1:09:50

spouse in Nashville again The

1:09:53

Ramsey Event Center all of

1:09:55

these events are available at Ramsey solutions

1:09:57

comm slash events all of

1:09:59

these events are fun, you will laugh, you will

1:10:01

cry, you can bring the person who thinks you're

1:10:03

crazy for doing this stuff, they will leave being

1:10:05

as crazy as you are. They'll

1:10:07

be on board, on game, ready

1:10:10

to go. We will convince

1:10:12

them because the stuff we teach

1:10:14

absolutely works and we love helping

1:10:16

people. So make plans to attend one

1:10:18

of these. We would love to have you here on campus

1:10:20

with us and stop by anytime

1:10:23

and watch the show. We do it

1:10:25

on the glass here right now from

1:10:27

1 to 4 central time every day

1:10:29

Monday through Friday. There's a couple

1:10:31

of Ramsey personalities sitting in these seats. I'm usually one

1:10:33

of them if I'm in town and then the rest

1:10:35

of them mix and match and fill it

1:10:37

in and that's how we do it. So come and join us.

1:10:39

We'd love to have you. Shawn is with us. Shawn

1:10:41

is in Kansas City. Hi Shawn. Welcome

1:10:43

to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank

1:10:46

you so much for having me on. Sure. What's

1:10:48

up? Well, I

1:10:51

wanted to ask you about the baby steps. I've

1:10:53

been watching the show for about a month and

1:10:55

I suppose I should give you a little bit of

1:10:57

backstory as well just to give you an idea of

1:11:00

why I'm asking the question. My

1:11:02

wife and I just had our first son. Yay.

1:11:05

A couple months old. Thank you.

1:11:08

Yeah. So John was nice enough

1:11:10

to help me out there. He decided to throw up his

1:11:12

lunch while I was waiting. So

1:11:14

I wanted to ask about baby steps

1:11:16

3 and 4 because

1:11:19

I was actually able to get some

1:11:21

401k from my previous job and

1:11:24

I was able to actually save up quite a bit

1:11:26

of money while I worked at that job. And

1:11:29

so doing baby step 2 to pay down

1:11:31

all the debt is technically something I can

1:11:33

do. But then with

1:11:35

the amount of money I would free up each month,

1:11:37

it would seem like it would take me forever to

1:11:39

do baby step 3. And

1:11:42

then when I saw baby step 4, and correct

1:11:44

me if I'm wrong, because you match your employer,

1:11:47

and then you do 15% and 15% I believe. So

1:11:51

it just seems like- I'm confused. There's only 15%

1:11:53

and 15%. So

1:11:56

baby step 1 is $1,000 in the bank. Baby

1:11:59

step 2 is your- pay off all of your debt except

1:12:01

your home. Do you have any debt except your home?

1:12:05

We do, yes. Okay, how much is that? So

1:12:09

that is close to 40,000. On what? So we have

1:12:15

two car payments, we

1:12:17

have a hospital bill for my son's birth, and

1:12:19

then we also had to take him to the emergency room,

1:12:22

and then my wife's student loan debt.

1:12:25

And how much is her student loan debt is

1:12:27

how much of the car? How much is the

1:12:29

student loan debt? I'm sorry. 33,000. So

1:12:32

most of this, your two car payments are $7,000? If

1:12:37

I pay off both the cars... I asked you how much

1:12:39

debt you had, you said $40,000. Then you told

1:12:42

me you had $33,000 of student loan debt. That means you've got $7,000

1:12:44

on two cars? And

1:12:48

the hospital bills. You only owe

1:12:50

$7,000 on two cars. I owe $5,000 on the two cars. Okay,

1:12:57

all right. Wow, okay. Yeah, because my son's hospital bill

1:12:59

was $3,000. I got you, I got you. Okay, I'm

1:13:01

just... because I was thinking you... I thought you didn't

1:13:03

tell me all the debt right. That's what I was...

1:13:05

Okay, it is right. I got you. Okay. So

1:13:08

your household income is what? About

1:13:11

$70,000. Good. And you're 26,

1:13:13

right? No,

1:13:15

I'm 31. Thank you for telling

1:13:17

me that. Okay, that's okay. I mean, you

1:13:19

got a brand new baby and you're making $70,000,

1:13:21

right? So, all right. And what

1:13:24

do you do for a living? I'm

1:13:26

an electrical apprentice. Okay, all right.

1:13:29

So first thing is we clear up the $40,000. Now

1:13:32

you don't have any payments. Then

1:13:34

you build an emergency fund of three to six

1:13:36

months of expenses because some of your debt is

1:13:39

due to not having an emergency fund. Right?

1:13:44

Okay. And then once

1:13:46

we have an emergency fund of three to six months

1:13:48

of expenses, how fast can you do that? You don't

1:13:50

have any payments in the world. You haven't been living

1:13:52

on a written budget yet. You've just been discussing the

1:13:54

possibility of doing this whole Ramsey thing. But once you're

1:13:56

living on a written budget for 90 days, you're going

1:13:58

to feel like you got a... to raise because your

1:14:00

money is going to work a lot harder. Right

1:14:02

now there is a lot of waste in your budget. My

1:14:06

wife and I were discussing that and how we

1:14:08

can cut back on the budget. You haven't done

1:14:10

the budget yet. Well,

1:14:13

we were discussing things we can cut back on.

1:14:16

It's theory. When

1:14:18

you actually start doing it, you

1:14:21

will find more margin than you realize

1:14:23

you have. You're doing all

1:14:25

this stuff in your head right

1:14:28

now and hypotheticals rather than actually

1:14:30

freaking doing it. So actually

1:14:32

start doing a budget for 90 days and then I

1:14:34

promise you from 32 years of doing what I

1:14:36

do, you will feel like you've gotten a raise. You

1:14:38

will find money you didn't realize you had. Now, then

1:14:41

you're going to be able to build a 3

1:14:43

to 6 months of emergency fund. It's going to take

1:14:45

you about 6 months to a year

1:14:47

after you pay off the $40,000 in debt. Then

1:14:50

and only then are you going to start putting

1:14:53

money into your 401K and then

1:14:55

and only then baby step

1:14:57

4 is 15% of your household income. Does

1:15:00

your wife work outside the home? Yes,

1:15:03

she works outside the home. What does she make? She

1:15:08

makes about, so

1:15:10

together we make 70, she makes about 35 of

1:15:12

that. Okay.

1:15:15

Alright. So when will your apprenticeship be done? In

1:15:19

a couple of years. I just started about 6 months

1:15:21

ago. What will your income do then? Double?

1:15:26

I'll go up to $40 an hour. Yeah, and

1:15:28

you're at $20 now? Yeah.

1:15:31

Yeah, it's double. Kind of like double. Yeah,

1:15:35

okay. And so then

1:15:37

what we're going to do is you're going

1:15:39

to be making $100,000 a year and you will

1:15:43

be debt free and you're putting $15,000 a year,

1:15:45

15% of your household income regardless of

1:15:49

match. You put in 15%

1:15:51

of your household income. So by then you've been making $100,000, you're

1:15:53

putting $15,000 away and by then you'll be 35

1:15:57

years old and so you have 30 years if

1:15:59

you never. get a raise to invest $15,000 a year. Okay.

1:16:04

And that's going to amount to about $8 million at

1:16:06

65. Okay.

1:16:10

So I understand, um, I

1:16:13

understand what you're saying, but my question is, and

1:16:16

if I'm doing this all in my

1:16:18

head, right, how do we

1:16:20

plan for the extra money properly

1:16:23

when baby steps two and three are essentially

1:16:25

what you say, living on beans and rice,

1:16:28

because if I have to take my son to the

1:16:30

emergency room again, I have to get a

1:16:32

car. Um, the

1:16:34

only way, you know, how to get a car

1:16:37

was half to get a car. Well,

1:16:40

in case something happens and we have to pay

1:16:43

for it to get repaired or we have to

1:16:45

fixing a car could have been by, you have

1:16:47

a thousand dollars. Or

1:16:50

if one of the vehicles breaks, bro, what if we get

1:16:52

by? Keep

1:16:55

doing what you've been doing and you stay broke as hell

1:16:57

to the rest of your life, you could

1:16:59

do that too. That's an option. So

1:17:03

my question is in those

1:17:05

emergencies, I have the savings fund for three to

1:17:07

six months, which you recommend I

1:17:10

pull from that resource. Yeah. It's an emergency. Yes. Yeah.

1:17:12

If you get us to go to emergency, you have

1:17:14

your three to six months. If you're in baby step

1:17:16

two, no, you're only going to have a thousand dollars.

1:17:19

So you're going to have, you're going to have to stop your baby. You're

1:17:22

going to stop your baby step to your debt snowball. That

1:17:24

point and fix that. If that happens during the two years that

1:17:26

it takes you to get out of debt, but you should be

1:17:28

out of debt in two years or

1:17:30

less. So listen,

1:17:32

dude, you're over analyzing this. You need

1:17:35

to go do it. That's

1:17:37

the difference. And then tell me how it's

1:17:39

wrong. Millions of people have done what

1:17:41

I'm telling you to do. It absolutely works. This

1:17:44

is the Ramsey show. Live

1:17:50

on the headquarters of Ramsey

1:17:53

solutions. It's the Ramsey show where

1:17:55

we help people build wealth, do

1:17:58

work that they love. create

1:18:00

actual amazing relations. Dr.

1:18:03

Drownedalow, you Ramsey personality,

1:18:05

Dr. Drownedalow is my

1:18:07

co-host today. Thank you

1:18:10

for joining us. You can hear him every week

1:18:12

on the Ramsey Networks as well. You want to

1:18:14

be sure and tune in on that and check

1:18:16

out many of his number one best-selling books on

1:18:19

relationships, boundaries, mental health, and

1:18:21

such. So we're here to help. The

1:18:23

phone number is 828-825-5225. Luke's in Kansas City. Luke,

1:18:28

what's up in your world? Hi,

1:18:30

thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we

1:18:32

help? Yeah, so

1:18:34

I am considering going into business with my father,

1:18:36

and my question is, I wanted to see, do

1:18:39

you have any advice for going into business with

1:18:41

family, and what should I be most aware of?

1:18:44

Yeah, don't. I'm just kidding. Still kidding. I'm

1:18:47

sitting by a guy who runs a pretty successful family

1:18:49

business, so I'm just being a smart aleck dude. I

1:18:52

enjoy working with my family

1:18:54

in the business, but

1:18:57

we have worked at it so

1:19:00

that we could enjoy it. All right,

1:19:03

so I can do a whole seminar on this. It takes

1:19:05

eight hours. I'll try to give you some high points. Okay?

1:19:08

Yeah. Number one, when

1:19:11

you're on site working

1:19:13

with your father, he

1:19:15

is not your father.

1:19:17

He's your boss. Okay.

1:19:20

So you don't use your whiny,

1:19:22

teenager voice on him, right?

1:19:26

Yeah. You treat him like

1:19:28

you would treat your boss at another

1:19:30

place. He owns the freaking company. You

1:19:32

work for him. You're an

1:19:34

employee. Act like it. Okay?

1:19:38

And he, in turn, my advice to

1:19:40

him is to treat your son with

1:19:43

the same dignity and

1:19:45

respect and compensation that

1:19:48

you would another team member in that

1:19:50

same position. So

1:19:53

when my son came on board out of college,

1:19:55

he started selling radio ads, which is one of

1:19:57

the hardest jobs in the building, up

1:20:00

with these things called ad agencies, which are a

1:20:02

royal pain in the butt. And

1:20:04

he had a really tough year, year and a half, but

1:20:06

he wasn't working for me. He was working for a guy that

1:20:09

worked for a guy that worked for a guy that worked

1:20:11

for me. Several layers down in

1:20:13

the company, right? But he was getting the college knocked

1:20:15

off of him for sure. And

1:20:18

so he had a tough year and a

1:20:20

half here, but he got paid the same

1:20:23

pay that the other sales people

1:20:25

selling ads got paid. And

1:20:27

he treated me with the same respect that he would

1:20:30

the CEO of a company that he worked for if

1:20:32

he had gone to work somewhere else. And I treated

1:20:34

him the same way with respect while we're on site.

1:20:37

My kids don't even call me dad on

1:20:39

site. They call me Dave. Because

1:20:44

if you go into a meeting and say, my

1:20:46

daddy said it's a different meeting,

1:20:48

right? Then Broom just tilted. Yeah,

1:20:51

bro. Let me tell you the first time

1:20:53

Rachel Cruz started saying Dave freaking said this

1:20:55

and this in that meeting. And I

1:20:58

finally said, are you setting me up? Am

1:21:00

I supposed to be like, yeah, or no. I

1:21:03

didn't know what to do. And that's when she clued me in. No,

1:21:05

no, no. Here at work, he's

1:21:07

Dave. He's Dave. At home. And

1:21:09

when I'm at home, I put on my Papa Dave hat and I spoil

1:21:11

her kids. That's my job. Give

1:21:14

them lots of sugar and send them home. So that's my deal, right? And

1:21:18

so when we're at work, we wear work hats, and when

1:21:20

we're at home, we change our hat. And

1:21:23

so I'm dad or Papa Dave or whatever at

1:21:25

home. And I'm father-in-law

1:21:27

at home. That

1:21:30

kind of thing. I have daughters and-

1:21:32

How do you keep that, how do you set

1:21:34

that boundary to be consistent? Wait, we actually- You

1:21:36

don't actually fall into that. We police it on

1:21:38

each other. We don't violate. We don't

1:21:40

talk business either except on site. Okay.

1:21:43

So Christmas dinner is not spoiled for everyone else

1:21:45

by the two goopers that work there. Right?

1:21:48

Because nobody else wants to hear all the crap that you two are going

1:21:51

to deal with. Yeah. Your

1:21:53

wife doesn't want to hear it all. She hears it all when you

1:21:55

come home at night anyway. That kind of stuff. So

1:21:58

you need to have some onsite, offsite. rules

1:22:00

like that and he needs

1:22:02

to pay you fairly but not overpay

1:22:04

you. Pay you for the position,

1:22:06

not for the position of son. And

1:22:11

then you need to get in there and earn your dadgum

1:22:13

stripes and earn the right to

1:22:15

move up to the organization so that no one looks

1:22:17

down on you when you do move up in the

1:22:20

organization because this guy worked twice as hard

1:22:22

as everybody else. You

1:22:25

got to work twice as hard to be respected

1:22:27

because they immediately think you're the doober boss's son

1:22:30

and you got to earn the team, earn the rest of

1:22:33

the team. And our kids do that. They've

1:22:35

done a wonderful job of working,

1:22:37

they work their tails off man

1:22:40

and our team

1:22:42

has great respect for them and I'm very proud

1:22:44

of that. So that's a couple of things that

1:22:46

you can do. Another thing

1:22:48

or two to remember is that

1:22:52

no family business is more or

1:22:55

less functional than the family is.

1:22:59

So if you have tremendous family dysfunction,

1:23:01

if your relationship with your dad is

1:23:03

wicked sideways, don't expect it to

1:23:05

be anything else when you go to work over there. It's

1:23:07

going to be just as dumb as it is otherwise. But

1:23:09

if you and your dad get along good, you like fishing

1:23:11

together, hunting together, you like doing whatever it is you do

1:23:13

together, all that kind of stuff,

1:23:16

you like hanging out as two adults now together,

1:23:18

then that's going to work real good inside the

1:23:20

business. My son and I, we ski together,

1:23:22

we do all kinds of, we shoot together, we do all kinds

1:23:24

of stuff. My daughters and

1:23:26

I do stuff, we enjoy each other

1:23:28

as adults. And so that's

1:23:30

going to show up in the business. But

1:23:33

if crazy is your family script, then expect

1:23:35

crazy to be in the business, right? So

1:23:39

it doesn't go away. And so that's the problem with

1:23:41

it. And then

1:23:43

lastly, someday your dad's going to want

1:23:45

you to, you're going to want to take

1:23:47

this place over and he's going to want to step aside and

1:23:49

hand it off. You guys need to start talking about that sooner

1:23:52

rather than later. Your dad

1:23:55

founded this business? Yeah,

1:23:58

it's more complicated. kids and that in

1:24:01

a roundabout way, yes. Okay, all right. Well

1:24:03

the person that starts a business from the

1:24:05

ground up has the hardest time handing it

1:24:07

off. Yeah. Founders

1:24:09

have emotional trouble handing it off. I'm a

1:24:11

founder. Founders are hard,

1:24:13

we're stubborn. It's how we pull this

1:24:15

crap off because we would not be denied. And

1:24:18

then when it comes time to turn it over, it's

1:24:20

very difficult to do that. It's like putting your kid

1:24:23

out for adoption. And

1:24:25

it's really hard for founders emotionally to do

1:24:27

that. So I've had to really concentrate on

1:24:29

that and work hard at it. It's not

1:24:31

been an easy emotional journey for me to

1:24:34

turn this thing over. And my

1:24:36

son's not the president of Ramsey and I'm the CEO,

1:24:39

but he runs a lot more of the day to day of

1:24:41

this place than I do today. And

1:24:43

so, but that's

1:24:45

been a 12 year journey to

1:24:48

get to that point. It didn't just come out

1:24:50

of college and step into that. I can promise

1:24:52

you that. Let's talk more about your admission of

1:24:54

being stubborn and hardheaded. Let's go there for a

1:24:56

minute. I'm just kidding. Why? You

1:24:59

need some counseling hours or something? No,

1:25:01

hey, I wouldn't have,

1:25:04

if I was just a spectator watching you on

1:25:06

the stage say those things you just said, I

1:25:09

would think, yeah, but I've seen

1:25:11

it. And I'll tell you, the

1:25:13

first few times I was around you guys at the

1:25:15

lake house versus in the office, it's

1:25:19

almost like being on the boat all day

1:25:21

and getting onto land. And you have to take a minute

1:25:23

to settle in. Like, oh yeah.

1:25:26

We completely changed gears. It's a

1:25:29

totally different shift, right? And almost

1:25:32

not quite the same. There's still a level of respect

1:25:34

and distance, but there's a very

1:25:36

distinct friend Dave, like when we're all hanging out versus

1:25:38

when we're here at the office, we're here at the

1:25:40

office to tangle up. It should be, yeah. I

1:25:43

mean, who wants to hang out with a twerp on

1:25:45

a boat? Or who wants to go, yeah, with their

1:25:47

boss, who's still trying, yeah. He's waking a finger, yeah.

1:25:49

Yeah, it's, yeah. No, it's

1:25:52

pretty impressive to watch it be separate

1:25:54

like that. But it's an intentional Act.

1:25:56

It's a practice. It doesn't occur, and we've

1:25:58

studied it to learn how to do that

1:26:00

from A- the Google search. Great question Low.

1:26:02

thank you for joining us. You want to

1:26:04

hear more things like that? We do a

1:26:07

podcast every we called Entre Leadership Rods calls

1:26:09

from small businesses and you can check that

1:26:11

out. Swimmer Ramsey Network productions highly rated as

1:26:13

well. Here's.

1:26:17

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1:26:19

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1:26:21

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1:26:24

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1:26:49

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1:26:51

Ramsey personality is my So host. We're

1:26:53

so glad you are here. A guy's

1:26:56

our tell you thank you! Last week

1:26:58

was the largest ratings week in the

1:27:00

history of the Ramsey Show and thirty

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but the number that the.the numbers

1:27:18

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out of town. So. It's a little bit

1:27:22

insulting. people gave it the best week ever

1:27:24

when I went on the air but stats

1:27:27

okay will still take that was the like

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the victory it's and ah very good. Thank

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you guys and listen we can still use

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your help. I. We run in

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1:28:33

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1:28:36

sorry but the I don't have we're not

1:28:38

putting 300 million dollars into that marketing so

1:28:40

you guys are the ones that tell other

1:28:42

people that the Ramsey thing's helping me and

1:28:45

then that helps us thank you and it

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helps us help other people thank you thank

1:28:50

you thank you our question of the day

1:28:52

comes from Kimberly in Oklahoma Kimberly writes my

1:28:54

fiance and I purchased a house together in

1:28:56

2022 we were both in

1:28:58

our 50s and had been homeowners in the past

1:29:01

our deed has the phrase right

1:29:03

of survivorship in it where if one of

1:29:05

us dies the property automatically goes to the

1:29:07

other well my fiance

1:29:10

passed away late last year and while

1:29:12

researching about selling the house I found

1:29:14

out he had filed a quit claim

1:29:16

back in October right before he had

1:29:18

surgery to remove a tumor the

1:29:21

quit claim deeds his half of the house

1:29:23

to his sons who are 23 and

1:29:25

26 neither one of

1:29:28

them has any interest in living in the house

1:29:31

or paying for it does

1:29:33

the quit claim supersede our deed wording

1:29:35

about the right of survivorship if

1:29:37

so how do I go about selling

1:29:39

my house if they have legally inherited

1:29:41

it should they be paying half the

1:29:44

mortgage HOA and taxes good

1:29:48

god a mess this

1:29:52

is why you do not buy a home with someone you're

1:29:54

not married to even if

1:29:56

they're your fiance ever

1:30:00

Ever this is why seen

1:30:02

this kind of wicked weird stuff for

1:30:04

30 years when people buy a house

1:30:06

that aren't married Well,

1:30:08

we love each other good get married then buy

1:30:10

a house Stop this

1:30:13

stupidity. Oh bless your heart

1:30:15

Kimberly. I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to go

1:30:17

through And what a

1:30:19

weird type of betrayal So,

1:30:22

um, I don't know the answer

1:30:24

to your question in Oklahoma. You need to get a lawyer You

1:30:28

need to get a lawyer and find out

1:30:30

what title you hold if the survivorship supersedes

1:30:32

the quick claim beat I suspect it does

1:30:34

not I do too I think he just

1:30:37

gave up his half of the ownership to

1:30:39

his sons before he died So

1:30:41

there was no right of survivorship because he

1:30:44

didn't own anything when he died his

1:30:46

kid owned it His kids owned it. So

1:30:49

I think you are now partners with

1:30:51

your fiance's two kids And

1:30:54

so I would sit down with them and say how

1:30:57

are we gonna do this? We're 50

1:31:00

50 on this house. What do you how do

1:31:02

y'all want to handle it? My

1:31:04

best suggestion would be you sell it and

1:31:06

take your half and they

1:31:09

get their half Because I think

1:31:11

that's where you are. You can check an

1:31:13

attorney to be sure but I'm not 95% sure That's

1:31:15

the way it's gonna go down and hopefully

1:31:18

the two little duvers will cooperate And

1:31:21

you can just sell this thing fairly easily You're not gonna

1:31:23

have a problem if they won't cooperate

1:31:25

you're going to have to file a motion in

1:31:27

circuit court to dissolve a partnership and The

1:31:30

judge will force the sale of the house to dissolve

1:31:33

the partnership and that's gonna cost you 10 grand in

1:31:36

legal fees Maybe five but probably

1:31:38

yeah And so

1:31:40

this is what this betrayal has cost you.

1:31:42

This is unbelievable. It's unconscionable I

1:31:46

guess he had a brain tumor and it affected his

1:31:48

behavior and his judgment I'm trying to give the guy

1:31:50

a little credit not just be a complete scumbull since

1:31:52

he died but Who

1:31:56

knows now this was just a under the

1:31:58

table sideways

1:32:00

gummy thing Sideways deal that

1:32:02

left his fiancee high and dry. He didn't

1:32:05

have the courage to either tell her Hey,

1:32:08

I want to make sure I leave something to my boys

1:32:10

and he didn't have a curse to tell them What

1:32:13

was going on? Yeah, this is really really

1:32:15

can't wait to see hardly Yeah, so that leaves

1:32:18

you in a mess and here's the rule boys

1:32:20

and girls out there I know some

1:32:22

of you like to shack up and you don't want to be married

1:32:24

and you want to try on a shoe for You buy it and

1:32:26

all that crap that you say all the time. You can do whatever

1:32:28

you want to do It's not a moral

1:32:30

construct. It's a legal and financial construct Buying

1:32:33

a house with somebody you're not married to

1:32:35

is straight-up stupid Don't

1:32:38

do it So well, we've

1:32:40

been we've been dating for 42 years.

1:32:42

Well great painter get off the ladder

1:32:45

make a decision Man,

1:32:47

all right. Mike is with us Mike's in

1:32:49

Boise, Idaho. Hey Mike, what's up? Hi

1:32:52

guys. Thanks for taking my call I

1:32:55

have found myself in

1:32:57

baby step two as I am finishing

1:33:00

college I'm

1:33:02

getting ready to graduate and I'm planning on

1:33:04

moving out of state and I just

1:33:06

don't know How much

1:33:08

like what the what the process is for how

1:33:11

much I should have saved up before I move

1:33:14

Not remember your moving expenses in

1:33:16

your first month's rent or whatever is going to take to

1:33:18

get into an apartment. Yeah, where are you moving?

1:33:22

So I'm moving back to

1:33:24

California where I grew up with my brother

1:33:26

why he's told me you well,

1:33:29

it's just Family

1:33:31

kind of what about employment?

1:33:34

What about this idea? You just went to school to

1:33:36

get a job Yeah,

1:33:40

you should get one of those Yeah,

1:33:42

so I've applied to jobs back

1:33:44

in California. Do you have any?

1:33:48

Well, I still have like interviews coming up so nothing's for sure What

1:33:52

should agree in? I'm

1:33:55

finishing with the Masters of Arts and Teaching and a

1:33:57

bachelor's in social studies year

1:34:00

in May. So you're looking for a teaching gate?

1:34:03

Yeah. You'll get one of those. Yeah,

1:34:07

yeah I've applied to them

1:34:10

and they have such a high need I would kind of

1:34:12

be shocked if I didn't get one. Sure. You

1:34:16

can actually be pretty selective my guess and

1:34:18

find the districts that pay the most or

1:34:21

put you in the best situation. Yeah,

1:34:24

one of the hard parts for me is that I'm I'm

1:34:27

not gonna get paid for the month

1:34:29

of August. Yeah, that's tough. I remember that when

1:34:31

I was my first year teaching I had

1:34:33

to float until September. Well this is I mean

1:34:36

but this is this is March. Go

1:34:39

work. Yeah. I mean go Uber and

1:34:41

cut grass and walk people's dogs. I mean go crazy for

1:34:44

a short period of time get you some money dude. Yeah,

1:34:47

I started teaching driver's ed trying to...

1:34:49

That's a star. Hey, teaching driver's

1:34:53

ed you may die before you even have to take your

1:34:55

first job. Yeah, no kidding. The

1:35:00

hard thing is I wanted to put down

1:35:02

like five grand in a savings account to

1:35:04

move but that's all that I'll have left

1:35:06

on my student loans. No, you're gonna you need to make

1:35:08

the move first and get the job and you clear the

1:35:10

student loan in 20 minutes if you don't get my five

1:35:12

grand. Okay. You need to get

1:35:14

set. You got to get moved. You got to get moved. I mean

1:35:16

how you gonna move if you don't? Going

1:35:19

debt for that? You just traded one debt for the

1:35:21

other. Yeah, well my family's

1:35:23

been so good to me but I just I

1:35:26

don't know. Knock it out dude. Knock it out.

1:35:28

Go get five grand move get settled and pay

1:35:30

off five grand your first three checks. Yeah.

1:35:34

No partying allowed. You're a social studies teacher

1:35:36

now. You're not a college student. Hey and

1:35:38

by the way your first year teacher no

1:35:41

are you married or anything? No.

1:35:43

Alright good. So my first year of coaching

1:35:45

I took an extra sport and made a

1:35:48

little extra money. I drove the bus for

1:35:50

other events and for other like teams and made

1:35:52

extra money. I worked games like

1:35:55

B team basketball games for extra money. You'll

1:35:57

have an opportunity to nickel and dime your

1:35:59

way. to a lot of

1:36:01

additional cash your first couple

1:36:04

years of teaching if you just get on it

1:36:06

and hoof it and get to work. Yeah lots

1:36:08

of opportunities. Partying is in the rear

1:36:10

view mirror. It was at college. Right. Now

1:36:12

you're a man. Work, work, work, work. Time to

1:36:14

go to work. Clean up this dadgum mess. This

1:36:18

is the Ramsey Shadow. Folks

1:36:23

changing your family tree takes more

1:36:25

than rice and beans and side

1:36:27

hustles. It's also about transferring the

1:36:29

big financial risks off your family

1:36:31

by having the right kinds of

1:36:33

coverage in place. That's

1:36:35

why my team created the

1:36:37

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1:36:39

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1:36:41

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1:36:43

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1:36:45

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1:36:47

Make this quiz one of

1:36:49

your regular checkups starting right

1:36:51

now at ramsysolutions.com/ checkup. Dr.

1:36:54

Chondaloni, Ramsey personality is

1:36:56

my co-host

1:36:59

today. Open

1:37:04

phones are 888-855-225. Kayla

1:37:07

is in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Hi Kayla, welcome

1:37:10

to the Ramsey Show. Hello,

1:37:12

thank you so much for your time. Sure,

1:37:15

what's up? Yeah,

1:37:17

so my husband and I have been married for

1:37:19

15 years. Only

1:37:22

after that bought our first home. For

1:37:25

the first 13, he was a

1:37:28

chemical engineer and we were able

1:37:30

to pay off all but our

1:37:32

mortgage. Yay. Yes,

1:37:35

in the past two years,

1:37:38

we had the calling to enter

1:37:40

into pastoral ministry, which

1:37:44

in turn cut our income in half.

1:37:48

So we are commuting currently

1:37:50

to our church and so we

1:37:53

desire, I desire mostly to

1:37:57

be closer to that community and

1:37:59

be and minister to

1:38:01

that committee, be hands and feet

1:38:03

there. We

1:38:05

refinanced in 2020 which gave us

1:38:08

a 3% mortgage rate and

1:38:10

so our mortgage payment is

1:38:12

super low so it's kind

1:38:15

of... What do you owe on your hand? We

1:38:19

owe 77,000. What's it worth? We

1:38:24

haven't officially got it estimated

1:38:27

but Zillow is like 320. How

1:38:32

far away are you moving? It's

1:38:36

about 25 minutes from

1:38:39

our home. In

1:38:41

most areas of the country that's called going to work.

1:38:46

It's not really a commute. I would love a

1:38:48

25 minute commute. That'd be

1:38:50

amazing. You are in the community when you're

1:38:52

25 minutes away in most areas of the

1:38:54

country. If you want to move,

1:38:56

are there 320,000 homes in that neighborhood? There

1:39:02

are, yes. Taxes

1:39:04

are a little bit higher than what we're used to.

1:39:06

What's your husband making now? Together

1:39:10

because I also am working

1:39:13

with him side by side. We

1:39:15

make about 80,000 and that

1:39:18

doesn't include the housing allowance. In

1:39:21

the housing allowances, how much? We're

1:39:25

new to that too. After

1:39:28

taxes, it was 60,000. Does

1:39:31

that make sense? You

1:39:34

deduct your housing expenses from your taxes? The

1:39:36

80 includes the housing? Yes.

1:39:40

Housing is not taxable in a pastoral but

1:39:43

the rest of it is taxable. You've got 60

1:39:45

taxable, 20 not taxable. Your

1:39:47

total income including housing is 80? Correct.

1:39:51

Okay, I got you. What

1:39:53

prohibits you from buying a 320,000 dollar

1:39:55

house or a 300,000 dollar house in

1:39:58

that neighborhood? by

1:40:00

selling this house. Your payment is going

1:40:02

to go up some because you've got a tiny little

1:40:05

mortgage with a tiny little bump in interest rate, but

1:40:07

3% on 60 or $70,000

1:40:09

if you go from 3 to 6 is nothing. It's $1,800 a year. It's $100

1:40:15

a month. The

1:40:18

property taxes are double.

1:40:21

That's one thing that's... Okay, and so how much

1:40:23

is that? How much is that? So we

1:40:25

would go from $2,700 a year to a comparable

1:40:30

home to about $5,000. Whoopee.

1:40:34

Oh. You

1:40:37

can afford it. What's making you

1:40:39

so nervous? If you don't move up in house,

1:40:41

but the problem is you went and looked at

1:40:43

$500,000 houses, didn't you? Yeah.

1:40:46

Okay. Yeah, go

1:40:48

take a cold shower, honey. You got a house fever. You

1:40:51

need to lower your expectations back down to the level

1:40:53

where you were. You need to buy $250,000 to $300,000 home if

1:40:55

you want to live in that

1:40:59

neighborhood. If you don't want to live in that neighborhood and

1:41:01

commute and stay where you are, well, you're fine anyway. It's

1:41:05

25 minutes. It's not... I

1:41:08

mean, sometimes we shouldn't... In Nashville, we shouldn't

1:41:10

traffic 25 minutes just to do, but the...

1:41:13

I mean, do whatever you want to do. Look, can

1:41:15

I say this, Dave? It burns a hole

1:41:18

in my chest. If you feel called to

1:41:20

do a thing and

1:41:23

you feel called to leave job X to go

1:41:25

to job Y, that

1:41:29

often means your entire life is going

1:41:31

to change and you

1:41:33

may have to change

1:41:35

where you live, change the size of your

1:41:37

house or your... It's, I want to do this

1:41:39

thing that I feel called to do... With

1:41:41

no repercussion. With no life

1:41:44

change. Yeah, that doesn't happen. And that almost

1:41:46

never happens that way. Doesn't happen. It's

1:41:48

a total call. I want you to surrender this

1:41:50

big house, these cars, this whatever, for

1:41:53

this life, right? And that's a... that's hard. So

1:41:55

you may move from a $300,000 house to a

1:41:57

$200,000 house, which is paid for by the way.

1:42:00

paid for. You could do that and have a paid for

1:42:02

hash. And then you can

1:42:04

minister debt free, which means you can fully be

1:42:06

invested in your community. And that's a totally different

1:42:08

freedom and peace. But it's

1:42:10

a different mindset. Yeah, that's a

1:42:12

big deal. That's

1:42:15

an interesting point. And John, I mean,

1:42:18

you have done that a time or two and so have

1:42:20

I. After we

1:42:22

went broke, I went back to doing real estate.

1:42:24

And this was, you know, 1994, 1000 years ago, right?

1:42:31

After going broke, 94 was the year I got back

1:42:33

above $100,000 income. So I was making

1:42:36

100 made $120,000 that year in 1993, I'm sorry. And I had figured out I had a little bit

1:42:43

of speaking. I had this little $10

1:42:46

book I was starting to sell

1:42:48

called financial piece out of the trunk of my car.

1:42:51

And I was doing some one on one coaching. And

1:42:54

I was thinking about starting a class

1:42:57

that later became known as financial piece University.

1:43:00

And we figured it up and I did a pro forma on

1:43:02

it and I told Sharon I said, I think I

1:43:05

can go full time into

1:43:07

financial piece with books speaking class

1:43:11

radio wouldn't pay anything we were doing it but it didn't

1:43:13

pay us anything. And I think

1:43:15

I can do that. I think the first year will

1:43:17

make 60,000 our income will go in half. And

1:43:22

I think God's told me do that. But I'm not sure

1:43:24

what do you think? And she said, Well,

1:43:27

it doesn't sound like financial piece to

1:43:29

you just

1:43:31

bought bankruptcy three years ago that book.

1:43:35

She said, No, but we talked about it. We

1:43:37

prayed about it. We both really decided we thought

1:43:39

that was what God was saying to do felt

1:43:41

called. Okay, not 100% sure. I never know. I

1:43:44

always hesitate to say God told me. But

1:43:46

I felt right felt felt like what I supposed

1:43:49

to do, right? So we did quit

1:43:51

doing real estate went full on

1:43:53

financial piece in 1994 opened a little

1:43:56

baby office that was a month to month rent in case

1:43:58

it didn't work. We didn't have a long lease. And

1:44:01

first year, I made $61,000. I

1:44:04

hit it exactly, oddly enough.

1:44:07

But that cost $40,000 of sacrifice in the Ramsey home

1:44:10

from the year before, right? No, $60,000. Well,

1:44:14

our income went in half. Like she said, her income went in

1:44:16

half. It was the same thing. And

1:44:18

so, you know, that meant that we didn't

1:44:20

do squat again after recovering, after bankruptcy, starting

1:44:22

to heal and actually fix the heat and

1:44:24

air and that kind of stuff. And now

1:44:26

we don't have any money again. And

1:44:29

so, but the next year, you know, we

1:44:31

made $100,000 and it's never been back since,

1:44:34

of course. But this thing

1:44:36

has grown every year. But that was a

1:44:38

call that came with a sacrifice that came

1:44:40

with a call, which we're talking about. And

1:44:43

that one worked out. They don't always work out because

1:44:45

sometimes it's last night's pizza. It's not the Holy Spirit,

1:44:47

you know. And these people is like, well, God told

1:44:49

me. And then God told me something else. And then

1:44:51

God told me something else, right? But you have to

1:44:53

know that when you go with your gut, you follow

1:44:55

it or you get called whatever you want to say

1:44:58

it. It

1:45:00

always comes with a risk and it always comes with

1:45:02

an almost total change. And if you can clear the

1:45:04

deck, you can go from a four bedroom

1:45:06

house to a three bedroom house if you clear the deck. If

1:45:09

you look at it as a loss and I'm trying to keep it,

1:45:11

then you're going to drive yourself mad. The

1:45:13

other thing is none of this is permanent. Our

1:45:16

reduction to 60 was not permanent. You can pick up real estate

1:45:18

the next year. If you want to be in the neighborhood, sell

1:45:20

your house by $200,000 house, live

1:45:22

there three years and move up. Save

1:45:25

up some money, move up. Save up some money, move up.

1:45:27

Nothing stays the same. The season

1:45:29

is going to get worse or it's going to get better. Maybe it

1:45:31

grows the ministry and the income goes up

1:45:34

in that ministry, which would not be a bad

1:45:36

thing. Multiple times across my

1:45:38

career, I've taken a new job that's less

1:45:40

money with higher upside or I've taken a

1:45:42

reduction in like a title,

1:45:44

if you will, for a different

1:45:47

environment. I've

1:45:49

done that almost every time and it's

1:45:51

always been I know I can

1:45:54

bet on myself. I know the environment is good at trust

1:45:56

of leadership, X, Y, Z and it works out that way.

1:46:00

But man, it comes at a cost. It comes at a cost.

1:46:03

Yeah, that's a thing. So your

1:46:05

cost, Kayla, what we're describing, we're not picking on you,

1:46:07

it's just this is stuff we've all experienced. And

1:46:11

you cannot do this without a cost. The

1:46:14

cost is a 25-minute commute or

1:46:17

a move to a house smaller than

1:46:19

the one you're in. Those

1:46:23

are your two options. This is the

1:46:25

Ramsey Show. Our

1:46:31

scripture today, 2 Peter 3, 9, the

1:46:33

Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as

1:46:36

some understand slowness. Instead, He

1:46:38

is patient with you, not wanting anyone

1:46:40

to perish, but everyone to come to

1:46:42

repentance. Norman Vincent Peale said

1:46:45

promises are like crying babies in a theater.

1:46:47

They should be carried out at once. I

1:46:50

like it. Very good. Noah is with

1:46:52

us in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Hey Noah, welcome

1:46:54

to the Ramsey Show. Thank

1:46:57

you for having me, Dave. Sure. So

1:47:00

I am struggling with some

1:47:03

family issues. About

1:47:05

two years ago, actually three

1:47:07

years ago now, my work offered me a promotion

1:47:09

in which I had to move about 400 miles

1:47:12

from where I currently was living. And

1:47:15

at that time, I didn't know

1:47:17

what to do with the house, we'd only owned

1:47:20

it a year. So some of my family members,

1:47:22

my wife's sisters, decided

1:47:24

they wanted to rent the house from us. Well,

1:47:28

it turned into two years later,

1:47:30

they hadn't paid rent on time once

1:47:32

in a year. They

1:47:34

were two months behind on rent and

1:47:37

they had trashed the house. And

1:47:40

we're just trying to struggle with, like

1:47:44

family gatherings are awkward and, you

1:47:46

know, like what

1:47:49

do we do? Yeah,

1:47:51

it's your fault. Yeah,

1:47:55

it's not their fault. You

1:47:57

put two wild, wicked young guys.

1:48:00

single women into your rental

1:48:02

house and then you're shocked they tore it up

1:48:04

while they weren't paying rent and you did nothing

1:48:06

about it. Your

1:48:10

fault, not their fault, they just is what they

1:48:12

is. You

1:48:16

knew what they were when you let them move in there, didn't you?

1:48:22

You knew this was stupid when you did it, didn't you?

1:48:26

My wife couldn't understand the

1:48:28

thought of her sisters

1:48:30

doing this to us so she was very

1:48:32

firm that they wouldn't

1:48:35

hurt us in this way. She's delusional. She

1:48:40

knew they were crazy too. You

1:48:42

knew they were wild as buck, didn't

1:48:45

you? I did. Yeah.

1:48:49

So you just turned your dadgum thing into a sorority

1:48:51

house. So has your sister not called her sisters? I

1:48:53

mean your wife not called her sisters? The ones that

1:48:55

would never do this? She has talked with her sisters

1:48:57

but they just act like nothing

1:49:00

has happened, nothing's wrong

1:49:04

that they didn't destroy this

1:49:06

house that was something

1:49:08

that we had worked hard to get through. So

1:49:11

what did your wife say? Did she say they

1:49:13

destroyed it or is she in denial too? No,

1:49:16

she's not in denial. She's

1:49:18

on board with it now but she's

1:49:21

also like, she's like how do

1:49:23

we go to Chris? I

1:49:25

mean we go to Christmas and spend time with the family

1:49:27

and then be like oh we're not getting you guys because

1:49:29

you owe us $2,000 in back rent and the $6,000 or

1:49:31

$8,000 in damages that

1:49:35

we had to do to get the house livable again

1:49:37

because we ended up moving back into the house. Okay

1:49:39

let me change gears man. I was picking

1:49:41

on you but the way you go to

1:49:44

Christmas is you take responsibility for this. It

1:49:46

is your fault. That's

1:49:48

how you go to Christmas. You quit

1:49:50

blaming them. Here's

1:49:53

the deal. Today they were late

1:49:56

the first time. You

1:49:59

should have moved them. If

1:50:01

you're in one of my rental properties and you don't pay

1:50:03

your rent, you know what we do? We evict your butt.

1:50:06

If we go over and do an

1:50:08

inspection, which we do monthly or every

1:50:10

two months on every single residential property,

1:50:12

we walk through it. If a cat

1:50:14

lives there or you're partying, we evict

1:50:16

your butt. You're not tearing up my

1:50:18

property. That's called landlord.

1:50:21

Y'all did not landlord. You didn't collect

1:50:23

your rent and you didn't manage your

1:50:25

property. You stood back and watched two

1:50:27

wild crazy women tear up your stuff

1:50:30

and did nothing about it. Yeah. Yeah.

1:50:36

That's exactly what happened. I

1:50:38

mean, you suck as a landlord, dude. Yeah,

1:50:42

it wasn't originally the plan when we bought

1:50:44

the house. It was just my work. I

1:50:47

get all that. I get all that, but you're

1:50:49

asking me how you heal the relationship, but you're

1:50:51

blaming somebody for being who they is. You

1:50:54

already know who they is. So

1:50:59

they're irresponsible party animal sorority girls who

1:51:01

don't give a crap about anybody, and

1:51:03

you brought them in as a tenant,

1:51:05

and then you're shocked that they're irresponsible

1:51:07

party girls who don't give a crap

1:51:10

about anybody who happens to be kin

1:51:12

to me. Yeah,

1:51:14

and it wasn't even partying. It was more

1:51:16

like people with mental

1:51:18

health issues like depression, and they

1:51:20

couldn't keep the house clean. No,

1:51:24

they didn't keep the house clean.

1:51:26

They could, but they didn't. Depressed people clean

1:51:28

houses all the time. Happens

1:51:30

all the time. If they're getting evicted, if

1:51:32

they don't, they suddenly magically clean

1:51:35

the house. So

1:51:37

what's your plan moving forward? Have you evicted them from the house?

1:51:40

Yes, we – so about a year ago –

1:51:42

this all started three years ago. A year ago,

1:51:45

my work offered me an opportunity to work from

1:51:47

home, and I said, okay, I'm going to move

1:51:49

back into this house. So are you back in

1:51:52

it? Yes, I am. So I could say – Okay,

1:51:54

so it's all fixed and it's all in the rearview mirror.

1:51:56

So the only question now is you lost the money and

1:51:58

you think you're going to get it high? Ha ha, you're

1:52:00

not getting it. I would eat it. Forget it.

1:52:03

Walk away. Forgive and forget. They

1:52:05

is who they is. We love them.

1:52:08

I've got relatives that vote wrong. I love them anyway. They

1:52:12

vote for the wrong people. I just don't understand, but I

1:52:14

love them anyway. I got relatives that

1:52:16

do other stupid things and I love them anyway. But

1:52:19

they're not renting my dadgum house either. Yeah.

1:52:23

And so I'm sorry. I'm not trying

1:52:25

to be tough on you, but the way sometimes

1:52:27

that I can put something that's been done to

1:52:29

me in the rearview mirror is when I realize

1:52:31

how much of it I allowed to happen to

1:52:33

me or I invited to

1:52:36

happen to me. Therefore, I take responsibility for

1:52:38

the situation as much as the Goobers. The

1:52:41

Goobers are just Goobers. It's what they are. And

1:52:45

it's sad, but I mean, they're

1:52:48

not going to ever be anything else. You're

1:52:52

in a dream world if you think they're going to

1:52:54

walk up at Christmas and go, I'm really sorry. Here's

1:52:57

a $2,000 check for the back rent and $5,000 for the

1:52:59

damage. And we really

1:53:01

are so sorry we messed up. The day

1:53:03

that that happens, I will turn blue. It's

1:53:05

not going to happen. Yeah.

1:53:10

And they haven't even had a job since they've moved

1:53:12

out of the house. One of them had a job

1:53:14

for four months and they're living in my in-laws basement

1:53:16

now doing the estate. Hey, hold on. Here's

1:53:18

the deal. You shouldn't even know where they live. Now

1:53:22

you're keeping tabs on them. They're

1:53:24

still living rent free. They just moved from their house

1:53:26

to your head. Let

1:53:30

them go do their life. Right? Yeah.

1:53:33

And you and your wife decide, hey, it costs

1:53:35

$7,000 to get back here. We

1:53:38

learned a lesson. You're looking for justice and there is none.

1:53:40

Yeah, not going to have it anymore. We're going to move

1:53:42

on with our lives. There's no justice. There's

1:53:44

no justice. And maybe y'all don't do Christmas presents.

1:53:47

That's fine. That's a decision y'all would make. I wouldn't do it as

1:53:49

retribution or like keep some sort of when they're 68 years old, you

1:53:52

can make, hey, y'all finally paid off the tab. So

1:53:54

here's a here's a Christmas dish. We've been doing it

1:53:56

at 250. We're just not going

1:53:58

to do it in 10 years or back even. Are

1:54:00

you is that we're real? Yeah

1:54:05

Yeah, it's it's I hate it for you

1:54:07

man I I'm sorry you went through this

1:54:09

but it was your expectations and your lack

1:54:11

of management that made the situation Bizarre

1:54:15

happen and made it worse and

1:54:18

so, you know, you could have limited

1:54:20

the damage after you did it You could have stopped it

1:54:22

from ever happening if you did just stood up and said

1:54:24

no. No, of course not You can't live

1:54:27

in our house. No, you don't pay bills

1:54:30

And you tear up stuff, of course not no

1:54:32

Yeah, I mean we all have relatives

1:54:34

We all have friends that

1:54:37

we love at a greater distance than living in our

1:54:39

own home You know you go over

1:54:41

there somewhere and be you I know I've got somebody

1:54:43

the other day telling them two of my closest friends

1:54:45

On the planet my oldest friends who

1:54:47

would lay down traffic for me. I Wouldn't

1:54:51

hire them. They're terrible employees

1:54:54

You're amazing like long-term

1:54:56

friends So it never hire them right and

1:54:59

both of those things can coexist I can

1:55:01

love people but you can't live in my

1:55:03

house Yeah, right exactly right so no that

1:55:05

lesson learned or or you

1:55:07

can live in my house for a year And I'm

1:55:10

not gonna lose sleep over if you put the word

1:55:12

family in front of dysfunctional. It

1:55:14

doesn't change dysfunctional It

1:55:16

just magnifies it and

1:55:18

so, you know that you

1:55:20

got dysfunctional and then you got family dysfunctional Which

1:55:22

is like 10x and

1:55:24

so all you did was just ask for that to not

1:55:27

Existing dysfunction was apparent to you and

1:55:29

your wife you ignored it and went

1:55:32

ahead anyway There's a

1:55:34

proverb says a wise

1:55:36

man sees Sees

1:55:38

trouble and turns a fool goes forward

1:55:40

and suffers for it. I

1:55:42

have been a fool a time or two That's

1:55:44

why I'm so passionate about this. I see something.

1:55:46

I know better I go forward anyway, and I

1:55:48

suffer for it and that's exactly what happened to

1:55:50

y'all and I'm so sorry But good

1:55:53

news is you never have to do it again.

1:55:55

Listen to your brain. It's talking to you That

1:55:57

puts us our the Ramsey show in the book

1:56:00

We'll be back with you before you know it.

1:56:02

In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way

1:56:04

to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with

1:56:06

the Prince of Peace. Right, Jesus. Hey

1:56:37

guys, I'm Rachel. And I'm George. And you've probably

1:56:39

heard our voices before on The Ramsey Show. And

1:56:41

do we have a surprise for you? Yep,

1:56:43

we have our very own show, Smart Money

1:56:46

Happy Hour, where we talk about pop culture,

1:56:48

current events, and of course, money. George, it's

1:56:50

a great show. And what else do we

1:56:52

talk about? So much, Rachel.

1:56:54

Not enough, and yet too much. We talk about

1:56:56

guilt tipping, because tipping is out of control, and

1:56:58

I won't stand for it anymore, which is why

1:57:00

I'm sitting. I'm glad you're taking such a

1:57:02

stand. And we also talk about something

1:57:04

else I'm passionate about, Disney adults. Oh,

1:57:06

George. Why is it a thing?

1:57:09

Listen, some adults still find the magic. Sure.

1:57:12

We also talk about toxic money traits and girl math.

1:57:14

And if you don't know what those are, you have

1:57:16

to listen to the podcast. Yeah, there's a lot there, you

1:57:19

guys. It's pretty fun. We keep you relevant, is what

1:57:21

I'm trying to say. We're going to help you out. So

1:57:23

pull up a chair to the happy hour you wish your

1:57:25

friends were having. We promise you won't regret it. And if

1:57:27

you don't have friends, we'll be your friends. We will.

1:57:29

We're great friends. So make sure to

1:57:31

check it out on Apple, Spotify, YouTube,

1:57:33

or the Ramsey Network app.

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