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Brought to you by the EveryDollar app.

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Start budgeting for free today. Hi,

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George. Hi, John. Just

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calling in. I'm 35 and I'm kind

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of feeling like I failed as a father and just

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trying to make sure that I'm mostly because I'm trying

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to save for a home and this house

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market environment's pretty rough. So

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I just want to make sure I'm on the right track. What

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happened? That's a pretty fighting words right

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there. Well, she has a tough judgment you've cast on

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yourself. Where's that come from? Well,

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I didn't grow up with a... I grew up

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with a broke family until we had a lot

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of broke mentality. And so

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it wasn't recently until I found this

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show a few

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months back where I was like, oh my gosh, I'm old

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and now I got to start from scratch. And

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so I'm debt free. So thank goodness for that.

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That makes John elderly then if 35

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is old. Goodness.

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He's geriatric. Hey, so, but

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you said you failed your family, man. Like,

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why do you think that? Why would you even say those words out

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loud? I

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just want to make sure that

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they're safe and that they're

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set up financially. And I feel like I'm not

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going to be able to help them in

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the future because I'm starting at an

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older age. All right.

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Let me tell you, you may have heard me, if you're new to

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the show, you may not have heard this story. My

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mom was not allowed to go to college for

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cultural reasons, for

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religious regions. And so

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at the age of 42, my dad was always encouraging

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her. He was just a policeman. And he

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was always encouraging her and encouraging her and encouraging her. At

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the age of 42, she took her first community

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college class. And then the next year she took

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another class, next year she took another class and

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she graduated through her PhD at 57. She

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got tenured as a professor at 63, I

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think, or 64. And in this past year,

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Retired in her 70s after her

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last semester at Oxford teaching

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in Oxford. Okay. Why do I tell you that?

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the job part cool the

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Extra income for my family growing up cool.

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That's all fine but

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me in my

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mid 40s now, you know what

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I got I got a ringside seat to watching

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a gangster

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of a mom Change everything

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in her early 40s and

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I got to watch her grind and

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get after it and I remember her

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putting the laundry detergent on the washing machine saying

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you're in seventh grade now brother You're making our

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sixth grade. You're doing your own laundry because I

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don't have time and I was like, oh, this

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is so unfair Yeah, right. It was amazing that

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she she she put that on me at that

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age. I had to learn how it all works

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and So you you were putting you

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were casting a judgment on yourself based

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on a number and I

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hate that about our culture that we answer The question what

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are you worth with a number? It

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should never be cast that that's a terrible

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metric for the question. What are you worth? But

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what you're giving your family right now is a

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dad at 35 the light came on You

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now have a new past it's gonna be different than the

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one you grew up with and they're gonna watch their old

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man Scratch and claw and

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you are going to take them to a new

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level both financially because you're gonna do that You

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already don't owe any money man, so that you're

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on a path But more than that they're gonna

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be able to go to college are gonna go

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out of school They're gonna go work because they

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have a picture of what that looks like and

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that was dead when he said no more I'm

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changing everything You are

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changing your family legacy Over

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and beyond a dollar amount. Do you hear what I'm

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saying? Yeah,

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does your family have it better now than you

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had it growing up? I

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guess I could say yeah. Yes, they do. I don't

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know in what category that could be And

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so unless someone else used those words against

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you, I think we need to

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drop that and go what is next for me? Do

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you think you're a failure just because you don't have a house? You

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have not purchased a home? You all are renting? Are

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you not where you want to be with your career? Are

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there other factors at play here? Or

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is this really just about home ownership and you

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saw that as a status symbol to

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own a home at a young age? It's

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mostly just home status symbol and there's a

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lot of voices that happen. Yeah,

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get off Instagram, brothers. You're doing real good, man. What do

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you do for a living? I'm

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in software

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engineering. What do you

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make? 90K. How

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many kids you got? Three.

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Okay. And is your wife working outside the

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home? She's not

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where my home's going. Okay, cool.

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So what is your next financial goal? Do

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you guys have the emergency fund fully funded?

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Emergency fund is fully funded. Next

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goal is to just

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put at least 20% of

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our take home into a savings

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so we can just save up for a 20% down payment. I

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love it. And you guys are both on

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board with the timeline for that? More

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so her than me. I'm more on the mind of

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I would like this in a couple years, but it's

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going to take at least five. So

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five years to save up a down payment to do this the

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right way with peace? Yeah.

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I think you can do it faster than that. That's

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considering you're not going to make any more

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money over the next five years, which I

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think in software engineering would be an insane

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assumption. Yeah,

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I just got a raise, and so I'm hoping that it will

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go up further down the future. And you also – And

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you also – And you also – software engineer, can you not do stuff

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on Saturdays and Sundays? That's going to take time from your family. It's true.

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But if it gives you three years of your

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life back and gets you in the home that you want, it's

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going to give you some payback. That's worth every penny of it.

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That's a good point. I could look up some

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things. You also live in a very high cost of

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living area, right? Yeah.

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Do you guys have roots there or are you

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open to moving so you can have this homeownership

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dream sooner? Well,

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that's still in discussions with what we're – what

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me and my wife are wanting

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to figure out. Okay. Am I crazy? Is

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there something else besides just owning a home?

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I hear

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in your voice a defeated guy. I

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don't know. That's a good question.

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I'm confused because you're debt free with an

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emergency fund. You have a down payment goal.

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You have this amazing family. You live in

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a great area, and it feels like you're

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– like I haven't made it. Well,

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we're living in a pretty

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tiny spot. We're in a condo, and

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we're kind of squished enough as it

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is. And I've been frustrated

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for a while in terms of where we're living

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and just wanting – I just want

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something better for the kids. I want a house

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so they can roam around the backyard and play

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and – Can you go rent a place? It's

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not – it's

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a little pricey for the

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renting. I wouldn't be able to do more

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than – or I wouldn't make

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the 25% in terms of how

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much I should be spending on my home. Well,

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maybe you move. I mean, software engineering, there's a lot

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of remote positions. Maybe you move, and are you working

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where you have to commute in every day? I

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work from home, so I could – So she

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homeschools, you work from home. It sounds like a

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pretty flexible scenario. Let me say

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this, dude. You are Project

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X. George and I are hearing this all over

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the country of people

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who have good jobs, have

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– are living the life they

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want to live except that the town they live in,

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the city they live in, has suddenly gotten – It's

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so expensive they can't live there and

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like millions and millions and millions of

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people before all of us. We

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have to make a decision are we gonna stay here and

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contract our dreams to which gonna live

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in a condo. Are

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we gonna change zip codes we don't

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want to but this is reality so

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that we can have the life that we want and

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i think that's where you are. Because

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it sounds like you're living in Salt Lake City for

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some sort of it's

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just this i don't wanna say fantasy but it's like we live

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in the city and it's like yeah but the city is costing

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you your soul man i can hear it on the phone. Just

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doesn't sound like it's worth it. Are

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the kids actively talking to you saying dad

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we're miserable we want a yard? No,

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no, they're actually pretty happy. Yeah, they

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just want that they just want to

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hang out and they'll play with a

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cardboard box and so i would i

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think there's this has more to do with you than anything else

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in the picture. Do me a favor brother

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hang on the line i'm gonna give you three free

9:04

months with my friends that

9:06

better help i want you to talk to somebody

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because i'm convinced there's something beneath all of this.

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That is you're just not happy

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i want you to be alive in this amazing life you

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got and it all feels kind of heavy and dark i

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want you to talk to somebody so hang on the line

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i'm gonna hook you up. Create

9:22

your free every dollar budget today the

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simplest way to budget for your life.