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Join Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts

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or the Wondery app to listen

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to the Re-Watcher, Buffy the Vampire

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Slayer, early and ad-free. Previously

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on the Re-Watcher, Buffy the

0:17

Vampire Slayer In

0:20

this moment, somebody should have slid a squatty potty

0:22

underneath him and then like, problem

0:24

resolved. This guy

0:26

has so many layers that he

0:28

deserves an interview with Oprah to

0:30

uncover his secrets. That's the sexiest

0:32

thing anyone could do for you.

0:34

She could use some lippy. Yeah,

0:36

she could just use a lippy.

0:39

They're just ending the shitty season with

0:41

a shitty coat. There's a girl who

0:44

walks pelvis first that has simply captivated

0:46

her. Sometimes spoken comes in handy.

0:48

He looks like a 70s patchwork

0:50

quilt with mustard yellow demon skin.

0:53

What in the world have I ever even

0:55

thought about reaching into my central nervous system

0:57

other than via therapy? In the words of

0:59

Katy Perry, Baby you're

1:02

a firework. And

1:04

Riley goes, oh, oh, oh, S4

1:06

shoots across the sky. Oh

1:13

man, what an episode. It

1:16

was a very season finale episode.

1:18

It was. But it wasn't. It

1:20

was like, what? I think I said

1:23

42 times throughout that episode. What is the

1:25

season finale going to be though? I

1:27

like that. And obviously we'll get into it

1:29

during this episode, but I like that they

1:31

went with an unconventional

1:34

season finale. Yeah, it's

1:36

cerebral. Like we said, it's heady.

1:39

I was like, I did not know

1:41

what to expect. You couldn't have. But

1:44

wow, let's get into it. Well, from

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Wundery, I'm Elena and I'm Ash. And

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this is the rewatcher Buffy the Vampire

1:51

Slayer. This is season four, episode

1:53

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off the bat, I fucking love this

4:14

episode. I've always loved this episode. I

4:16

love this episode when we first saw

4:18

it. Me and Lin, shout out to

4:20

Lin, cease to quote the shit all

4:22

the livelong day. I remember growing up

4:24

with YouTube buffoons saying, I wear the

4:26

cheese, if you don't wear me. And

4:29

I'd be like, what the fuck? Like, what does that

4:31

mean? And now you get to experience it for yourself.

4:33

I love the cheese man. And I let in the

4:35

middle of the episode, Elena goes, hold on, pause this.

4:37

I just want you to know he serves absolutely no

4:40

purpose. And Josh said he's just there because like,

4:42

there's always something random in your dreams that doesn't

4:44

make sense. Yeah. There's always something meaningless in your

4:46

dream that you're like, why was that there? And

4:48

you try to analyze it, but it literally

4:50

means nothing. I, the fact that it's

4:52

a cheese man, I love that they make a lot

4:54

of cheese jokes because I love cheese. So like, who

4:56

doesn't write up my alley. Yeah. But we

4:59

start with the last time on Buffy, the

5:01

initiative made Neapolitan Adam and, uh, they

5:03

can't stop him, but the scoob's will Willow

5:06

Giles and Xander let their powers combined

5:08

with Buffy like they're summoning captain planet

5:10

or some shit. Willow

5:12

is spirit, Xander is heart, Giles is

5:14

mind and Buffy is hand. Willow

5:17

calls upon the spirit of the first

5:19

flair and all that followed. Adam may

5:21

not be able to grasp the enjoying

5:24

scoob's power source, but mighty Buffy can.

5:26

She punches through his abdomen and rips

5:28

out the power center. Bitch, he died.

5:30

Now, interestingly, we don't get an intro

5:32

scene. It just goes straight to

5:35

the theme side. I noticed that very, that already

5:37

we're a little weird. Oh my God. Wait, quick

5:39

side note because Drew

5:42

and I were doing TikTok trivia last night with

5:44

each other and it was like playing, um, old

5:47

90s songs, like intro songs to TV shows and

5:49

this one happened. I was like, Oh, it's Buffy the vampire

5:51

slayer. You knew it. And he was like, yes, he's

5:53

like, you got it. But I was like, I was

5:55

like, I have a show about that. This is my

5:57

show. He was like, I'm aware. I know this. The

6:00

same band made my show's fucking intro. Whoa.

6:03

No, I literally said that. Did that ever hit you? Sometimes that

6:05

hits me. Sometimes it hit me last night when I said it

6:07

to Drew. I'm like, hell, nerve

6:09

herder. Nerve herder. So

6:12

Buffy starts this episode by asking

6:14

Riley, he's so tall. She

6:16

doesn't have that. But she's like, you

6:18

gonna be okay? You tall, man. And

6:21

he says that he's just fine. It's just a

6:23

brief thing. They aren't gonna blame anything on him.

6:26

Graham and a bunch of the other guys

6:28

credited him as the reason they're still alive

6:30

on the record. Graham's alive, y'all. And he's

6:32

being a good dude, I guess. I

6:34

mean, the rest of the Scoobs

6:36

played a pretty fucking big part in that too,

6:38

buddy. But I guess we won't split hairs since

6:40

it's gonna help him avoid charges of treason. Fair

6:42

enough. I guess we'll go with it. He

6:45

thinks that he might actually get an

6:47

honorable discharge, which is pretty wild, considering

6:49

where he was in the initiative yesterday.

6:52

I have to say, going

6:54

into this episode and seeing Riley leave and

6:56

being so hopeful, I think I'm gonna get

6:58

an honorable discharge. I was like, oh no,

7:00

he's gonna die. Yeah, I think we all

7:02

thought that. But Giles says that he'll probably

7:05

get it in trade for his silence. Which

7:07

he probably. Riley nods. He's like, yeah, probably.

7:09

Having the deets on all the fuckery that

7:11

transpired is definitely good. And

7:14

Willow smiles and says, It's like you're

7:16

blackmailing the government. And Riley looks like

7:18

he has been slapped. He's like, what?

7:20

And Willow quickly adds, In a patriotic

7:23

way. So Riley dips,

7:25

but not before Joyce is able to say that

7:27

it was really nice to meet him. Dot, dot,

7:29

dot. Finally. So

7:32

mom. So mom. Very dripping

7:34

with meaning. She's reading a bit here. Which,

7:36

good for mama Joyce. She deserves to. She

7:38

deserves to. Ooh, good choice, Joyce. She asked

7:41

Buffy if she noticed how pointedly she said

7:43

fine. Which is also a mom thing. She's

7:45

like, did you notice that I

7:47

did that thing that you were supposed to

7:49

get? But Buffy is the queen

7:51

of avoidance. She nopes away from that comment, walking

7:54

into the living room where they plan to burn

7:56

the midnight oil with a movie all nighter. Which

7:59

sounds amazing. It does. I also have to

8:01

say I love that they went

8:03

back to Buffy's house for the season

8:05

finale. Like, yes.

8:07

Yes. It felt so right.

8:10

I loved it. I love that Giles is with

8:12

them. I love all of it. We didn't get

8:14

enough hometown this season. No,

8:17

hometown Sunnydale. But

8:19

you know, they're all high on the powerful

8:21

magics used for the enjoining spell to defeat

8:23

Adam. So they're like, we're awake. Let's go. Let's

8:25

watch the movies. And Giles asks

8:28

Joyce if she wants to join

8:30

them. But Joyce is like, nah,

8:32

I'm exhausted, which I have to

8:34

say. Bad choice, Joyce. Eh, bad

8:36

choice, Joyce. If hashtag Ripperfire emoji

8:38

invites you to watch movies, you

8:41

watch movies with that

8:44

man. I think the problem is

8:47

she can't sit in a room for a

8:49

prolonged period of time with that man with

8:51

Buffy and company. That's true. They fucked twice

8:53

on a cop car. That's very

8:55

true. And Buffy heard in detail

8:57

about it via Joyce's thoughts. Joyce

9:00

be thinking about it. Don't even

9:02

cross my threshold. She's

9:04

like, oh, my God, I'm going to do

9:06

something. Do it. Do it. Do it. She's

9:12

going upstairs to rub one out. You

9:16

were just going for it. You didn't

9:18

even throw like a euphemism in there.

9:20

Like she was just like, bad about

9:22

like the euphemism for that. Doing

9:24

a spell. Doing a

9:27

spell. Xander uses it

9:29

later. Doing

9:32

a spell. Hashtag

9:34

Ripperfire emoji asked me to watch a movie

9:36

with him. I'm watching a fucking movie with him.

9:38

Yeah, that's where Netflix and Chilla Rich do it. That's

9:40

where it does. But no, she goes up

9:42

to bed and Xander puts in a beautiful

9:45

VHS. Oh, I watched it

9:47

happen. I said, oh, how I miss you.

9:49

Video home system. No, hard

9:52

cut to everyone conked out 15

9:55

minutes into the movie. Like they're 35

9:57

plus at this point. Twenty seven plus. The

10:00

camera slowly pans towards Willow and

10:02

fades into her dream sequence, which

10:05

obviously the name of the episode

10:07

is Restless. We're getting dreams, everybody.

10:10

I love it. Now, we're going to go

10:12

through the dream. We're going to try to

10:14

analyze what's going on, talk about it that

10:16

way. So Willow's dream

10:18

sequence goes like this. We start off

10:20

this bitch in Tara's room. Tara

10:23

looks absolutely stunning in this

10:25

entire episode. She looked gorgeous.

10:27

Tara's a god... Like, she's always beautiful.

10:30

I think she's like a beautiful woman. She's really

10:32

pretty. She just like something... I don't know what

10:34

they... Her... I don't

10:36

know what it is. Like, she's like glowy.

10:38

She is glowy. And goddess-like. No, and when

10:41

you said she looks like a goddess, I

10:43

was like a legit goddess though. Yeah, she

10:45

has goddess energy in this episode. I think

10:47

it's like the music helps and like the

10:49

colors and the setting. Like... Yeah,

10:52

she just like really... Her lighting was beautiful.

10:54

Like, she really did it. She's

10:56

lying on her stomach on the bed,

10:58

staring away from Ruylo. And

11:00

she thinks it's strange that she thinks she

11:02

should worry that they haven't found her name.

11:06

And Will is like, who dat, Miss Kitty? Like

11:08

what are you talking about? Like the Voo's name. And

11:11

Miss Kitty Fantastico plays with a ball of yarn on

11:13

the floor and it's in slow motion. Which

11:16

like, I'm not really sure what that

11:18

was. I think... We think it's

11:20

supposed to be ominous, but it was just

11:22

really fucking cute. Yeah, I think everything probably

11:24

has like so much meaning. So there's no

11:26

way we could figure it all out. But we were gonna

11:28

say like in the comments on the rewatch

11:30

or Instagram, like poster theories, like just little...

11:33

Yeah, let us know. Little details that you

11:35

think have extra meaning or like if we miss it or

11:37

you have a different theory, let us know. And

11:40

Willow reassures her she's not all grown

11:42

yet. And Tara wonders why Willow's not

11:44

worried. And Will smiles saying that she

11:46

never worries here. She's safe here. And

11:49

Tara sighs and says, you don't know everything about

11:51

me. And I know that.

11:54

And you knew that. I said correct. Correct.

11:56

I don't fully trust her yet. Well, you

11:58

know, Will smiles. asking

12:00

if Tara has told her her real name.

12:03

And Tara smiles saying Willow knows that.

12:06

At least she's like the one thing you know is my real

12:08

name. It was like what else you

12:10

know? So Willow dips a

12:12

paintbrush into a bowl of ink as Tara

12:14

softly warns Willow that they will find we

12:16

don't know who they are. They will find

12:19

out about Willow. And Willow says that she

12:21

doesn't have time to think about that bitch.

12:23

She's got sexy homework. And the shot

12:25

pulls back showing that Willow is painting

12:28

on Tara's naked back. And

12:30

she worries she won't finish her homework

12:32

in time. But Will decides that she'll

12:34

just be late dammit. But Will has

12:36

never taken drama before. What if she

12:38

misses something important? And Willow doesn't

12:41

give a fuck. She wants to paint her homework onto

12:43

Tara's back dammit. Which Mikey found

12:45

this fun fact. What she's

12:47

writing on her back is a poem,

12:49

Hymn to Aphrodite by Sappho of Lesbos.

12:52

I had no idea what this was. And I'm

12:55

glad I found out because now it makes so

12:57

much more sense. Yeah, that's cool. Now

12:59

Willow sits down her brush and pouts. She

13:01

doesn't want to leave there. And Tara's like,

13:04

pork wall. And Willow stands

13:06

up and moves the drapes aside and

13:08

reveals a dry wasteland outside. And she

13:10

says it's so bright and something's out

13:12

there. And this image is the start

13:14

that like this is in everybody's dream.

13:17

Yeah, this dry land. This dry land

13:19

is in there. And we

13:21

get this shot from outside in the

13:23

brush with an out of focus shape

13:25

prowling in the background. And then we

13:27

get an adorable shot of Miss Kitty

13:29

fantastical pouncing towards the camera in slow

13:31

motion. I fucking love cats. Now

13:33

Willow meanders through the brightly lit

13:36

halls of Sunnydale High and it's

13:38

back. It's back, baby. And Xander

13:41

and Oz are standing nearby to get the

13:43

fuck out of here. Get out of her

13:45

fucking dream. That's green. Get out of here. Get

13:48

out. So they call out

13:50

to her and she says hello, but continues

13:52

to walk. And Oz says the herd, she's

13:55

taking drama and she agrees and he tells

13:57

her that shit is tough. And

13:59

Xander asked. what Will will be doing, spells.

14:02

And he has an aside with Oz telling

14:04

him that she does spells with Terra. And

14:07

Oz says that he heard about that. And

14:09

Willow frantically attempts to open her locker

14:11

but can't figure out her combination, which

14:13

is classic dream. And the bell rings

14:15

and Willow is pissed that she's going to

14:17

be late. She's like, fuck! And she runs

14:19

away as Xander tells Oz. Sometimes I

14:22

think about two women doing a spell. And

14:25

then I do a spell by myself.

14:27

Gross. But it was the

14:29

kind of 90s.

14:32

Willow walks into the next vignette

14:34

backstage at a theater production. And

14:36

there's this flurry of commotion as

14:39

the orchestra warms up below. And

14:42

there are people milling about in

14:44

costumes, spanning every imaginable character and

14:46

geographical location and time period. Nothing

14:49

is making sense. Harmony

14:52

randomly rushes up to Willow. She

14:54

looks like a like Swiss mist.

14:56

She does. She's so fucking stoked.

14:58

She's like, there's our first production in two

15:00

weeks. Look out for mine and your scene.

15:02

And she hugs her tightly and

15:04

she says, I love you. And then she's like, don't step

15:06

on my cues, bitch. And Willow

15:08

is conflustered. She's like, production? Are you

15:10

fucking kidding me? This is day one.

15:13

Like what? When then Buffy joins the

15:15

chat, she rushes over looking like an

15:17

extra from cabaret with a black. Is

15:19

it a bob? Yeah. Is that what

15:21

it is? Yeah, French. It's like, um, things

15:23

like a, Oh, what are they called? They

15:25

just had a challenge on drag race about

15:27

these. She looks like Roxy Hart. She did

15:29

that. I was like, are they doing Chicago?

15:31

It was like, well, and

15:33

she's wearing a black tasseled slapper dress.

15:35

And she says, Oh my God, this

15:37

place is packed. Everybody's here. Your whole

15:39

family's in the front row and they

15:41

look really angry. Willow is traumatized. Harmony

15:44

thinks that it's just stage fright, but

15:46

Willow asked dudes, isn't this the first

15:48

class? What the fuck is going on?

15:50

And then Riley struts over with a

15:53

ridiculous exaggerated cowboy outfit and says, well,

15:55

you showed up later. You'd have a better part. I'm

15:58

cowboy guy. And He smiles as big. They'll

16:00

be grin. He looks adorable. Sit with you. I

16:02

did come across a few theories about

16:04

this particular. Thing. Oh, that maybe

16:06

this me The meaning of this is he

16:09

showed up just in time when Buffy was

16:11

still grieving. Angel any kind of swooped in

16:13

as like the cowboy guy. Oh, saves the

16:16

day? Yeah, that doesn't make sense. which can

16:18

I've seen theories about that? I'm like that

16:20

kinda makes sense I think so. Yeah, no,

16:22

I get that. that's a good call. The.

16:25

Bus he tells Will that her costume

16:27

is perfect. Nobody's gonna know the truth,

16:29

you know? About. Willow. And

16:31

Will was horrified. Wouldn't termination What costume

16:33

and buffy space immediately drops and she

16:35

security and character. I should have done

16:37

that but Will is so can flustered.

16:39

She's like this is drama class. We

16:42

haven't rehearsed and Harmony exclaims that some

16:44

people happens and Riley isn't listening cause

16:46

he still stoked that he has to

16:48

be cowboy guy and the fact that

16:50

he so excited themselves more guy ways

16:52

I gotta give a shit about I

16:54

leave us I get it reliably guy

16:56

and I don't give a shit about

16:58

any of us be of the illicit

17:00

of the an awesome. And

17:02

Will says that it's so soon

17:04

and starts to go new fucking

17:06

tailspin. She has prepared and she

17:08

stops short horrified asking if they're

17:11

performing Madam Butterfly because Season One

17:13

Episode Ten. Nightmares. Now

17:15

behind them, giles collapse trying to

17:17

get everyone's attention. He looks adorable.

17:19

You soak you the curtains. About to

17:22

go up and he says. Everyone that will

17:24

as ever met is awesome muddled excluding one

17:26

of us. That means we have to be

17:28

perfect and. Behind him Willow sees A

17:30

for moving in the wings of the

17:32

stage. but Giles continues his pep talk,

17:34

telling everyone to have energy especially in

17:36

the musical numbers and both he smiles

17:39

at her and Willow asked if she

17:41

saw the fucking form in the wings.

17:43

She's like what the fuck is that

17:45

and but these like law And behind

17:47

them Giles as chattering on saying that

17:49

acting is not about behaving, it's about

17:52

hiding the audience wants to finds you,

17:54

strip you naked and eat you alive

17:56

and behind him this whole time. Harmonies.

17:58

Vamped out and just keep. peek-a-booing above

18:00

his shoulder to try to like nip

18:02

at his neck and like she's a

18:05

little hungry hungry hippo. It's hilarious. And

18:07

she's going like, and he's like, stop.

18:10

And Giles calmly looks at her and it's

18:12

like, stop that. And then Giles tells everyone

18:14

to get their costume sets. And then he

18:16

searches for a word and Harmony guesses props.

18:18

And he goes, no. And

18:21

he says it like it's the stupidest thing

18:23

he's ever heard. And then Riley goes, props.

18:25

And Giles goes, yes. Harmony

18:28

continues to bite at Giles

18:30

ridiculously. As he says that

18:32

it's all about subterfuge. And he turns

18:34

back to Harmony quipping. Now go

18:36

on out there, lie like dogs and have a

18:38

wonderful time. If we can stay in focus, keep

18:40

our heads. And if Willow can stop stepping on

18:42

everyone's cues, I know this will be the best

18:44

production of Death of a Salesman we've ever done.

18:46

Stop it. Willow is fucked

18:49

up. Everything goes silent. Willow

18:51

turns to where she saw that creeping

18:53

form. And in its place now, there

18:55

is a balding man in a suit

18:58

with round glasses, black glasses. And he

19:00

whispers, I've made a little space

19:02

for the cheese slices. And he points

19:04

down the table beside him. And it's just

19:06

a row of like craft cheese slices. In

19:08

this moment, I would like you to know

19:10

that he is my most valuable slayer. He

19:13

is my most valuable slayer for the entire

19:15

series. This man

19:17

was the just we loved this man. I

19:20

loved this man the first time I watched

19:22

him. Me and my friends could not.

19:25

Our humor was obviously very highbrow. And we

19:27

thought this was the funniest shit we had

19:29

ever seen. This is highbrow humor. It is

19:31

so funny. I wear the cheese. It

19:33

does not wear me. I think

19:35

if I'm being Maggie for Halloween, you have

19:38

to be the cheese man. Yes, you love

19:40

cheese. I do love cheese. Maggie and the

19:42

cheese man forever. He just turned around like,

19:45

yes, let's go. Just wear like the bald

19:47

cap. Yes. Willow steps around the corner and

19:49

walks down a corridor made of red velvet

19:51

curtains. And it's kind of like

19:53

suffocating in there. And Tara turns and says,

19:56

it's not going well, is it? And Willow

19:58

is fucked up. She's like, no. the

20:00

drama class is just, I think they're

20:02

really not doing things in the proper way and now

20:04

I'm in a play and my whole family's out there

20:06

and why is there a cowboy in Death of a

20:08

Salesman anyway? Tara doesn't give a fuck.

20:11

She says that Willow doesn't understand yet,

20:13

does she? And Willow

20:15

asks if something is following her

20:18

and Tara says, Yaaaaa! Yes.

20:23

And Willow asks what the fuck she's supposed to

20:25

do. The play is starting and she doesn't know

20:27

her fucking lines. That's horrible. We've all had that

20:29

dream if you've ever been like a drama kid

20:31

especially. Yeah. Now it

20:33

cuts to the stage where Buffy is

20:35

strewn across a chaise lounge glaring at

20:37

the audience. Harmony is holding two pails

20:39

over her shoulders like a milkmaid. Riley

20:42

asks if he can help a bitch out but Harmony's

20:44

like nah, this shit's not heavy. And

20:46

then she bleeps out her line about why

20:48

he's in their small town and it's tiny

20:50

as fuck and doesn't have anything special and

20:53

Riley puffs out his chest and says, I've

20:55

come looking for a man, a sales

20:58

man. Now

21:00

we all have it on good authority that this is not

21:02

how Death of a Salesman goes. No, I don't think

21:04

so. I know this. Now back in

21:06

the curtain hallway, Tara warns

21:09

Willow that everybody is starting to wonder

21:11

about Willow, the real Willow. If they

21:13

find out, they'll fuck shit up. And

21:16

Willow starts to hyperventilate asking if it was

21:18

something she was supposed to do and Tara

21:20

shhh her and they

21:22

listen for a moment and we hear the sound of whispers

21:25

like overlapping each other. Now,

21:27

and I feel like this whole like they're going to

21:29

see the real you is like you've

21:31

kind of reinvented yourself a little bit

21:34

in college, like not reinvented, but you

21:36

can't sell. Yeah, like you're in a new phase. You've

21:38

stepped into your style. You've like done, you

21:41

know, you're feeling confident in your like witchy

21:43

abilities. You've leveled up. You're in a good

21:45

relationship, all that. And I think she's always

21:47

if you've ever been that

21:50

person in school that was like bullied, picked

21:53

on, not treated well, you're

21:55

always that person. Yeah, like it's always in there and

21:57

you're always afraid it's going to fall out. and

22:00

that everybody's gonna see it. Like it's like,

22:02

even though you know you've like evolved and

22:05

because you know, like that's okay that that person is

22:07

in there. Like you're always scared that

22:09

somebody's just gonna pull it out of you and be

22:11

like, aha loser. Like that's always

22:13

there. And I think that's

22:15

exactly what's happening with Willow. I would punch someone

22:17

if they did that to anyone that I like,

22:20

honestly. Say

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24:31

current and saloon piano music plays as

24:33

harmony like think sobs on the Saves

24:35

Lives next to a lifeless men on

24:37

the floor next to her record us

24:40

up with a pretty sure that's the

24:42

sales man I think so. In the

24:44

foreground we see Riley's face right up

24:46

on the camera as he stoically stairs

24:49

forward while flapper Buffy just reads a

24:51

bitch she says. But. What else

24:53

could I expect from a bunch a

24:55

low rent no account hoodlums like you.

24:57

Hoodlum? Yes, I mean you and your

24:59

friends, your whole sex, throw them in

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the see for all I care, thrown

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in a way for the bubbles and

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then she finishes. Men with you're quoting

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and spitting. Also, I know brain three

25:09

billion am around the same worn out

25:11

urge. men with your. Sales.

25:14

Honestly, Rise.

25:20

In the curtain hallway. Like so

25:22

that stuff like this may have

25:24

happening about snakes in the curtain

25:26

hallway. Willow notices that she's alone

25:28

until hands jut out of the

25:30

curtain and start attacking her. He

25:32

fumbles to the ground fucking and

25:34

rolling away and start dodging the

25:36

stony nice as. It thrust towards her.

25:39

And she screeches a barrel rolls and

25:41

abassi who helped syrup and through the

25:43

curtains and right into a classroom at

25:45

Sunnyvale. Bossy. car her

25:47

stay low bets and buffy as

25:50

what it was and will is

25:52

like i don't fucking know what

25:54

is going a civil considered was

25:56

no buffy tells her that will

25:58

must have done something way to

26:00

fucking blame the victim during the sis. Like, she's

26:02

like, well, what the fuck did you do? Okay,

26:04

your fault. It was obviously gonna stab you for

26:06

a reason. So what'd you do? And

26:09

Willow says, Oh, I

26:11

never do anything. I'm

26:13

very seldom done. That's definitely her being

26:15

like, I never step out of

26:17

who I am. Like, I never step out of

26:20

the boundaries. I'm here. I'm

26:22

the good girl. And she's like,

26:24

this whole fucking drama class has been bananas,

26:26

to be honest. And Buffy cocks her

26:28

head and it's like, bitch, the police

26:31

fucking Dean, why are you still

26:33

wearing your fucking costume? And Willow's like, dude,

26:36

this is my fucking outfit. Like, why is

26:38

everyone thinking of wearing a costume? And I

26:40

also think that's like a reference to the

26:42

outfit she always wore, especially in high school.

26:45

How we were always like, what the fuck are you wearing Willow?

26:47

I think that's literally like breaking the fourth

26:49

wall being like, we know these are my

26:51

clothes. Yeah, no,

26:53

that's a costume. But Buffy

26:56

tells her that everybody already knows, take

26:58

it off. And Willow says, no, she

27:00

fucking needs it. And this

27:02

is also, yeah, she used

27:04

to wear like fucking crazy clothes and sometimes she still

27:06

does, but she really used to wear fucking crazy

27:08

clothes in high school. Definitely. And this is

27:10

her like, I figured out how to like tame it.

27:13

And I need this. And she's like, this isn't a

27:15

costume. This is who I am. Like, don't tell me

27:17

it's fake. Like, I figured this out kind of thing.

27:20

But Buffy shoves her and tells her for

27:22

fuck's sake, I'll take it off. And

27:24

we hear ripping sounds as it cuts

27:27

to Buffy who says, that's better, much

27:29

more realistic. This part is hard to

27:31

watch. It's heartbreaking. Cause she turns

27:34

to take a seat at a desk in the classroom.

27:36

And we see the classroom is full of desks now.

27:38

Harmony glares, Oz is there and

27:40

leans in towards Hetera in another

27:43

desk. They're like, flirty. Flirty. Xander

27:45

looks bored as fuck and Harmony

27:47

says, see, isn't everybody very clear

27:50

on this now? Anya

27:52

Gafaz saying that this shit is like a

27:54

Greek tragedy. The shot cuts

27:56

back to Willow who has regressed to season

27:58

one version of Willow with. the long auburn hair

28:01

and the out of place baby doll

28:03

jumper. It's like literally her episode one

28:05

outfit. Yes, the actual outfit. And

28:08

she stands awkwardly at the head of the class

28:10

doing her best not to have a fucking full

28:12

blown panic attack. And then we

28:14

see Oz leaning towards Tara and telling her, I

28:16

tried to warn you. And

28:18

I think it's like, I tried to tell

28:20

you like she's a freak, that's who she is. Because

28:24

I think she, somewhere in

28:26

there, she's always probably questioning

28:28

like what happened with Oz. Yeah,

28:31

of course. Was it just the werewolf

28:33

of it all? Like, you know what I mean?

28:35

Or was it me? Like she's always blaming herself.

28:38

And Tara just smirks cruelly. Which

28:40

let me tell you, I think everybody

28:42

can relate to this. Isn't everybody

28:44

significant others and people that they

28:46

love and dreams the meanest fucking

28:49

version of that person that you

28:51

could ever conjure up? Absolutely despicable.

28:53

Despicable. Who has done some of

28:55

the most heinous acts in my

28:57

dream? John has made me cry

28:59

so hard in a dream that

29:01

I was like retching. And then

29:03

you wake up and you're like

29:05

fuck you. And they're like, good

29:07

morning. And they're just like, hi.

29:10

And you're like, you're not real. And

29:13

this is so real. To see

29:15

Oz and Tara being so nasty and

29:18

cruel to her and just being like

29:20

fucking loser, that's not them. But that's

29:22

how her brain makes her think. So

29:25

Willow holds up her report and starts to deliver

29:27

her summer book report about the lion, the witch

29:29

and the wardrobe. And

29:32

Xander shouts asking who fucking

29:34

cares? And Oz and

29:36

Tara chuckle as something tackles Willow out of

29:38

nowhere and then starts to claw at her.

29:40

She's begging for help on the ground, but

29:43

everyone just chills, like not giving a fuck.

29:45

Like they're literally like, I don't care. It

29:47

just hit me. Do you think the lion,

29:49

the witch and the wardrobe is

29:52

poignant? The lion, the

29:54

wolf, the witch, Willow, the wardrobe

29:56

equals bad clothes. Yes. on

30:00

its surface level. And then I wonder

30:02

if, kind of like

30:04

the whole premise of, yeah, actually,

30:07

it's coming to me right now. Wow, I

30:09

feel like a psychologist. Well, you're an alienist.

30:11

I am an alienist. Listen to more of

30:14

it if you need to figure that one

30:16

out. Like stumbling through a wardrobe into this

30:18

like unknown land. And becoming something different. And

30:20

becoming something different is kind of like one,

30:22

going off to college, and two, when she

30:24

met Buffy, her home

30:26

turned into something. Narnia. Completely

30:29

different. Narnia with all these beets and

30:31

demons. For a relationship with Tara. Yeah.

30:34

Two, it's like her, she stepped into Narnia, this

30:37

fantastical world where everything can be

30:39

different. Yes. And

30:41

like where you, she feels, before

30:44

she stepped through that wardrobe into Narnia,

30:46

she felt totally out of control. Yeah.

30:49

I think you're totally right. Psychologist. I don't

30:51

think they picked that by accident, my friend.

30:54

But yeah, so she's just getting attacked on the

30:57

floor. And we see

30:59

how her attacker leans over her and

31:01

we watch as Willow's face ages rapidly

31:03

and her eyes get all milky like Maggie Walsh

31:06

as the spirit is literally sucked out of her.

31:08

Now, in real life here, when like

31:11

waking up, Willow throws her head back

31:13

as she attempts to breathe as she

31:15

sleeps and it's like sucking in breath.

31:17

It's actually really like,

31:20

it's like jarring to watch. It's very

31:22

scary. She's the most affected by this.

31:25

And I wonder if it's because she was the

31:27

one who did the spell, like who like took

31:29

lead on the spell. Yeah. Because

31:32

she seems like she's most affected. Like in real life. You know what

31:34

I mean? Yeah. We

31:36

definitely get like Giles convulses a little. Yeah. But

31:39

yeah, hers is the most jarring. Yeah. And

31:42

I think it's her like hyperventilating because

31:44

that's how I was feeling in

31:46

the dream. But we get

31:49

a non-existent commercial and now we

31:51

are in Sanders' dream. Which

31:53

I was so scared to enter the stream. I was like, what fuck

31:55

shit are we about to see? And really it's just

31:57

sad. It is sad. You get it. The

32:00

funniest people sometimes have the saddest lives. And

32:03

I told you we were going to get

32:05

in this episode, we'll see a little more

32:08

different sides to somebody. It's going to

32:10

round people out a little more. You're going

32:12

to understand some people a little better. Xander

32:14

here it is. Yeah. So when

32:17

we come back, the camera shifts from Willow's

32:19

sleep apnea moment to Xander who does that

32:21

whole, I wasn't sleeping thing. And

32:24

he asked if he missed anything. And Giles is

32:26

like, nah, is he and Buffy are just like

32:28

chomping on popcorn. Giles is

32:30

very unimpressed with apocalypse now, which

32:32

Xander had previously said was fucking

32:34

awesome. He thinks he's a

32:36

liar who lies. But Xander assures him that

32:38

the shit gets better. And he's suddenly very

32:40

nervous that he fucking fucked up. Which

32:43

isn't that so real? Yes. We were

32:45

talking about this before, how vulnerable is

32:47

it to show somebody like a song

32:49

you love or a movie you love

32:51

or a TV show and you're like,

32:54

I need you to love this. And you feel like you have

32:56

to defend like all the weirder parts. They

32:58

don't mean anything by that. You're like, no, it's fine that like

33:00

this is going to come back. Don't worry about like, this is

33:02

cool. This is cool. It was cool at the time. Okay, but

33:04

yes, what's up with Will? He's

33:07

like, what's going on with her? Because she's literally

33:10

gasping and gulping for air behind them asleep. They're

33:12

like, it's fine. And Buffy's like the big faker.

33:16

He's unaffected by the fact that Willow sounds

33:18

like the fucking grudge over yonder there. So

33:21

he dips to go upstairs to pee and

33:23

Joyce notices him walking by and calls out to

33:25

him from her room. I told you what she was doing

33:27

up there. Let me tell you bitch

33:30

knows her fucking lighting. Yeah, she does.

33:32

She looks like a goddess and

33:34

she is just draped against

33:36

the door frame of her

33:38

bedroom and a red nightgown

33:40

looking like the entire fucking

33:42

meal. The buffet tonight, baby.

33:44

Oh, good choice, Joyce. Like

33:47

good choice. Dream Joyce. I

33:49

love it. And

33:51

he worries that they're being too loud downstairs,

33:53

but she's like, nah, and then she's like,

33:55

also everybody left. And He's like,

33:57

oh shit, I should go catch up

34:00

and Joyce starts out. things by seems

34:02

like I've heard that before which was

34:04

like i don't get that but okay

34:06

ah Zayd nurses that he moves fast,

34:08

Men are always after and enjoy. Censor

34:10

Jackson seductive we says conquest and he

34:12

smiles saying he's a com keys to

34:14

door and she smiles Adam while we

34:16

hear her ask if he sure it

34:18

isn't just comfort and of the mouth

34:20

isn't moving yeah when she saying certain

34:22

lines and he admits that he's a

34:25

can for the door as well as

34:27

she says that she knows boys and

34:29

she arches against. The door frame. Again, her

34:31

mouth doesn't move as he asks if you'd

34:33

like to rest for a while, you know.

34:36

In her fucking bed. It's wild. We all

34:38

hate it here when we knew this was

34:40

gonna open. Up Spicy and Sanders dream.

34:42

Absolutely. Like there was no way

34:44

we were going to get past. That's enough. And from

34:47

what I could see when I was looking around at

34:49

this, it seems like. Maybe people

34:51

in Zanders dream. Don't

34:53

move their mouth when they talk. When

34:56

they're saying something that he knows they

34:58

wouldn't say in real life. Yes. Especially.

35:01

Women are make sense because it's usually

35:03

when they're being very spicy, but over

35:05

me like leaders will, yeah, like later,

35:07

we'll get. Like. Terror. and Willow

35:09

and Tara doesn't. Work

35:11

brother. Or even think of that

35:14

like that. literally just gave me so cause

35:16

like Buffy says, brother. With oh my god

35:18

it really isn't won't hurt her mouth and

35:20

or mouse. Models he was. So he's like i'm

35:22

you're You're never gonna think of me that way

35:25

like you only. Think of me as a

35:27

brother. Oh yes, while also makes sense because

35:29

when Tara later and Taryn Willow will get

35:31

to a don't worry but when Willow and

35:34

Terror in the back of the ice cream

35:36

truck generous as like you're just like really

35:38

your so interesting and her mother most of

35:40

it was at all because she does not

35:43

find him interesting though. so it's like there's.

35:45

A. Make so much sense that that could be it.

35:48

But. Zander is like hell yeah, brother,

35:51

and you know, growth. But. She

35:53

says entities like i got to go to the

35:55

bathroom first you know to cut some timber loses

35:57

and she tells him not to get lost. Then

36:00

the bathroom he unzips and starts to p

36:02

but turns to see the he's being observed

36:04

by a bunch of lab coat of that

36:06

years as the all fools and so he's

36:08

like. Of his go find another

36:10

bathroom. And not so

36:12

dream like coded to because like something like that

36:14

will happen in your dream. Yeah, like. I.

36:17

Guess I'll go to another bathroom like

36:19

you're not like why you all here

36:21

but these. He crosses the hallway and

36:23

goes into another room and it ends

36:25

up being his basement laundry tools, Stores

36:27

bedroom apartment. He's confused.

36:30

And he is rattling From the door up

36:32

the staircase, someone wiggles the knob trying to

36:34

enter and it's like slamming on the door

36:36

and Zander says that isn't the way out.

36:39

He. Says that a lot. Yeah and mobile

36:41

see as it's definitely him saying if

36:43

I go up there like that's not

36:45

The whales through my house is not

36:47

the way out because I will become

36:49

them Exactly is like we've gotten little

36:51

bits and pieces of his family. Yes,

36:53

how like you know there's a lot

36:55

of drinking. There's a lot of violence.

36:57

There's a lot of like making him

37:00

feel less than function. a lotta dysfunction.

37:02

and I think his greatest fear. Is

37:04

becoming his father. Hundred percent for sir.

37:07

Which. Is really sad. I'm so

37:09

he turns to walk out the back

37:11

door but it opens to a playground

37:13

and it's this beautiful sunny day and

37:15

we see journalists and Spyker wearing nearly

37:18

identical three piece suits. Know this is

37:20

my absolute favorite. Solaris and a swing

37:22

on the swing set together. This buyers

37:24

image is my favorite. Say to the

37:26

suppose it was so jar isn't as

37:29

like would have thought that was and

37:31

Buffy is putting in the sandbox. Zander

37:33

is so fucking relieves. He's like I

37:35

found them but Buffy as if he

37:37

was looking for. Them. And. Giles

37:40

smiles and south south of

37:42

this size my smurf other.

37:44

This is. despite gloats, the

37:46

Giles is gonna teach him

37:48

to be a watcher and

37:50

Giles beams and says. Spots on

37:53

some to me and. You can tell that

37:55

this hurts same their yeah like that's

37:57

fine. Cool. Awesome! And

38:00

he's like, yeah, I was into that for a bit, but I

38:02

have some other shit going on. So I guess I'll go fuck

38:04

myself. But you can tell, like he wanted

38:06

Giles to be, because

38:10

we learn in this how he

38:13

and his father interact. And

38:15

it's not good, it's butting heads, like

38:17

hand to hand. And so him

38:19

being, like we've always said how Giles and him

38:22

like butt heads so much, that's

38:24

the only way he knows to be

38:26

with a father figure. And it's like,

38:28

if he didn't think of Giles as a father figure, he

38:30

wouldn't be butting heads with him. But he is, because he

38:32

wants him to be, I want him to be my dad.

38:35

Giles, you're my dad. Giles, you're

38:37

Xander's dad. We never knew how much this was

38:39

gonna apply. It's true. But he

38:41

looks into the distance and he sees that

38:43

ice cream truck parked up ahead. And he

38:45

sees himself helping a line of people. And

38:48

he says that you have to have something in order

38:50

to move forward. So it's like, it's

38:52

a small job for him, but it's something to propel

38:54

him to get out of here. Yeah, he's looking like

38:56

you have to do something and

38:58

you have to get out of that basement. And Buffy says that

39:00

he's like a shark. And he agrees, but

39:02

then he says, but with feet and much

39:04

less fins. And we used

39:06

to say that all the time. And

39:09

much less fins. And

39:11

Spike interjects saying. And on land.

39:13

And beside him, Giles exclaims. Very

39:16

good. Like a proud papa. So

39:18

very good. Very good. And

39:21

Xander asks Buffy if she wants to play

39:24

there. It's pretty big sandbox. And

39:26

the shop pans to Buffy, who's in the fucking

39:28

desert now. And she says something

39:30

that's so chilling. She says, Jerry, she

39:32

says, I'm okay. It's

39:34

not coming for me yet. Even

39:37

now I'm like, oh yeah. And I feel like him

39:39

being like, are you sure you want to play there?

39:41

It's a pretty big sandbox is like, are

39:43

you sure you're good? Like there's a lot out

39:45

there that you like go about. You're stepping into

39:47

more and more of the unknown as we go

39:50

further. Not only just like

39:52

in college and the world and everything, but

39:54

it's like, but in the demon world, like

39:56

you're encountering things that you've never seen before.

39:58

And like, you need us. So

40:00

he says that she can't protect herself

40:03

from some stuff. And

40:05

Buffy tells him, I'm way ahead of you, big

40:07

brother. And he

40:09

repeats the word brother as she

40:11

just stares back at him meaningfully.

40:13

This is definitely, definitely him acknowledging

40:15

that she sees him as a brother and

40:17

that is the end of the line on

40:20

that one. But I also think it

40:22

kind of is him being like almost

40:24

okay with that. Like I think it's because he

40:26

wants to protect her. So I almost think he's

40:28

like, I am kind of your big brother. Like

40:30

you know what I mean? Like he's kind of

40:32

like, it's almost like he's enjoying himself like, oh,

40:34

brother. Like that's why I am. Like

40:37

me, it's okay that I had those feelings for her

40:39

before and it's okay that they evolved now into

40:41

this like thing where I want to protect her

40:43

because I love her in that way. Definitely. Which

40:46

I was like, I love that. Beside them

40:48

Giles encourages Spike by saying, come

40:51

on, put your back into it. A

40:53

watcher scoffs at gravity. Obsessed. Obsessed.

40:56

Dead. They stare at each other

40:58

and they share like a very profound moment it

41:00

feels like. So we cut to

41:02

the ice cream truck and Xander's in

41:05

the ice cream truck and

41:07

Xander is watching this ice cream truck

41:09

thing from his point of view. Xander

41:12

sees Xander in the ice cream

41:14

truck. And he starts to drive

41:16

away and Anya's there and asks if he knows

41:18

where he's going. And she tells him that she's

41:20

thinking about getting back into vengeance again. It's going

41:22

to be a big year for vengeance she thinks.

41:24

Which I'm like, hmm. He

41:27

like, what's that about? He's disappointed. He hates

41:29

this plan. You know, that shit's scary. And

41:31

she pouts saying that Xander doesn't want her to

41:34

have a hobby. And Xander's like, no, I don't

41:36

want you to have a fucking vengeance hobby. And

41:38

he says that you can't just do what you

41:40

want. Society has rules and shit. And

41:43

then he gets distracted hearing Willow and Tara

41:45

in the back of the ice cream truck.

41:48

And Willow's in all black and Tara's in all

41:50

white. And they flirt and

41:52

frolic, almost kissing. Maybe

41:55

what it seems like, you know, breaking some

41:57

of society's imposed rules and shit by doing

41:59

it one way. wanted an ice cream truck

42:01

in front of people. And

42:03

Xander asked them to shut the fuck up. He's trying

42:06

to talk to his demon, like please be quiet. And

42:08

Willow and Tara stare back at him smiling

42:10

and we hear Tara say

42:13

without her mouth moving that they

42:15

find him so interesting. Cause

42:17

neither of them find him so interesting. And

42:20

Xander says he's going places. And Willow

42:22

says, bitch, I'm way ahead of you.

42:24

Which that is, they say

42:26

that a couple of times. And that's

42:29

him realizing that I think his best

42:31

friend who he's known since childhood is

42:33

off in this world discovering herself in

42:35

college. And she's always kind

42:37

of been way ahead of him anyways. But

42:39

now she's even going further ahead of him. And

42:42

she's the second person. Because Buffy says, I'm way ahead

42:44

of you, big brother. And it's like, we're all way

42:46

ahead of you. So

42:49

she whispers into Tara's ear and strokes

42:52

her thigh as Tara giggles. And Xander

42:54

is like, I'm so into this. This

42:57

would be his typical dream. And Willow

42:59

tells him to watch this. And the

43:01

shot cuts back to Xander. And

43:04

we hear Tara and Willow clearly making out.

43:06

It's probably the opening scene from Bodies,

43:09

Bodies, Bodies that made us all have

43:11

a misophonia moment. But listen to scream. Listen

43:13

to scream. Tara invites him to

43:15

join them. And Anya's like, you go. I'm

43:18

figuring out how to drive this by gesturing. And

43:20

Xander thinks it's a trap. But she's like, get out there. So

43:23

he walks back towards, and they play this music.

43:25

So that's like this journey. It's

43:29

like, he's going back. And he crawls

43:31

over a fridge into his basement laundry

43:33

tool storage bedroom apartment. And

43:35

he calls out to Willow and Tara. But here's

43:38

the doorknob jiggling up the staircase into

43:42

the main part of the house again. And he

43:44

looks fucking terrified this time as the door is

43:46

shaking. And he shouts that he knows

43:48

what's up there. And it's him being like, I know

43:50

what's up there. I know that's my future if I

43:52

go up there. And he turns

43:54

and bitch. It's our cheese

43:56

guy. It's Alina. And he holds up a

43:58

plate of cheese and says. These

44:01

will not protect you. He's

44:03

right. Correct. He's so right. In

44:06

fact, for me, I'm like, they'll do some damage.

44:09

He's been in some room. I

44:11

have a lactate in the other, sir. That is

44:13

correct. Not without a lactate. Now

44:15

upstairs, someone starts pounding on the

44:17

door, and the door slams open,

44:19

and we hear intense growling as

44:22

Xander nopes out the back exit

44:24

again. He's not ready to face this. Into

44:27

a UC Sunnydale building, bathed in green

44:29

light, and we catch a

44:31

quick glimpse of something stalking through the crowd of

44:33

people who stand frozen in place. Xander

44:36

finds Giles, and he's like, what the

44:38

fuck is after me? And Giles says,

44:41

It's because of what we did. I know that. And

44:43

he tells Xander that the others have gone ahead.

44:45

Way ahead. Way ahead. And he

44:47

tells him to listen very carefully, saying,

44:50

your life may depend on what I'm about to

44:52

tell you. You need... And then he's

44:54

like, French, French, French, French, French. And he

44:56

starts speaking French. Immediately he's

44:58

like, Oh, but Xander's like, I

45:01

don't understand what's happening. And Giles gets

45:03

frustrated with him, but Anya joins the

45:05

chat, but she's speaking French as well.

45:08

Obviously it's like, he's too stupid to understand. Yeah. You

45:11

see Mikey put the translation on the side. No. So

45:14

the translation of the French segment, Giles says, the

45:16

house where we're all sleeping, all your friends are

45:18

there having a wonderful time and getting on with

45:20

their lives. The creature can't hurt you there. And

45:22

then Xander says, what go where I don't understand. And

45:26

Giles says, Oh, for God's sake, this

45:28

is no time for your idiotic games. And then Anya says Xander,

45:30

you have to come with us now. Everybody's

45:34

waiting for you. And then Giles

45:36

says, that's what I've been trying to tell him. And

45:38

then Xander's just like, I can't

45:40

hear you guys. And Anya says, it's not important.

45:42

I'll take you there. Whoa, that's crazy.

45:45

I'm like, are they, is this him

45:47

saying like, like your friends are

45:49

all waiting for you, like in that house. Is

45:51

that like, you need to go to college? Like

45:54

you should go to UC Sunnydale. Or like

45:56

you should feel comfortable being

45:59

part of that group. because your friends are waiting

46:01

for you regardless of where you feel like you are

46:03

in life. Like be with your friends, like go back

46:05

to that house with them. Like they- Because

46:07

this even has been so like- They accept you.

46:09

He's on the outskirts. Like they'll move you forward

46:12

with them kind of thing. Yeah.

46:15

That's interesting. I also think that it

46:17

could be that they're, you know, like

46:19

literally in order to kind of escape

46:21

what's going on in this whole thing,

46:23

somebody needs to wake everybody up. That's

46:25

true. So it's like, you know, I

46:28

think it's just really like, like part

46:30

of his dream is like saying, hey,

46:32

douchebag, wake the fuck up and wake

46:34

everybody up and save the day. Like

46:36

prove who you are, prove like that

46:38

you're worth something, prove that you're smart

46:40

enough to kind of figure something out.

46:42

Yeah. And like

46:45

he just doesn't get it. Like he's just

46:47

not hearing it. He's not able to kind

46:49

of like cut through and actually get

46:51

there. That makes sense too, because then Anya

46:54

says it's not important, I'll take you there.

46:56

And then ultimately she's the one to wake

46:58

Buffy up. Yes. And it's like, like

47:01

in the Zippo, when he

47:03

does all the saving, like in the background kind

47:05

of thing, like he has his own thing going

47:07

on. And it's almost like them being like, it's

47:09

okay that you do the saving in the back.

47:11

Like you don't need to be like the Buffy

47:14

doing it in front of everybody and getting all

47:16

the glory, you know

47:18

what I mean? Like, but you do it and

47:20

like go do it, go save everybody. And nobody

47:22

will understand, but like you do that. Okay,

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48:13

grabs him by the arm and leads him through the

48:15

crowd and a man in camo picks him up as

48:17

he objects out of nowhere. And

48:20

Xander gets led through the jungle

48:22

now in a nearly shot-by-shot reproduction

48:24

of Marlon Brando's interrogation scene in

48:26

Apocalypse Now, which was shown earlier. He's

48:29

brought into a room where he's forced to

48:31

kneel and he's questioned by a deep-voiced man

48:33

who is obscured by shadow. And

48:35

the voice asks where he's from and Xander

48:37

says from the basement mostly. Which

48:40

is like exactly what we've

48:42

been talking about. Like he's like, I just, I'm

48:44

the basement. Yeah, like I'm in the basement part

48:47

of my life right now. And

48:49

the man leans forward and it's

48:51

fucking Principal Snyder. Oh, I

48:53

was like, I literally said I would have preferred

48:55

Flutey. It would have been awesome if it was

48:57

Flutey. But he says some weird shit, which inspires

48:59

Xander to tell him that he was glad his

49:01

ass was eaten by a snake. And

49:03

Snyder asks where he's going and Xander says

49:05

that he needs to meet Tara and Willow

49:08

and maybe Buffy's mom. And

49:10

he's like, I don't know, lots of ladies. But

49:12

he tells him that he needs to run away

49:14

from something. And Snyder asks if Xander is a

49:17

soldier, but Xander says he's a

49:19

comportador. And Snyder's like,

49:21

nah, wrong. You're neither. And he tells

49:23

Xander that he's a whipping boy set

49:25

upon a sacrificial stone. And Xander

49:28

nods looking like he's getting emotional and

49:30

about to say something very profound. But

49:32

instead he just goes, I'm getting a

49:34

cramp. I'm getting a cramp. And

49:36

he stands up and suddenly he's in the

49:38

courtyard outside of Giles's apartment. And we

49:41

see a figure stalk towards him. And he

49:43

backs up and walks through the door to

49:45

Giles's apartment. And inside they're sitting over Willow

49:47

who is unconscious in a chair. And

49:50

Giles is fucked up. He's like, this shit is

49:52

serious. And Xander attempts to get their

49:54

attention, but no one can see him. Buffy

49:57

is terrified and wants to just fight whatever is

49:59

hurting. Willow and she's like, I can

50:01

do that, right? And Anya wants to help

50:03

by slapping Willow, which is completely

50:06

on brand. Prania. Let's just fucking hit

50:08

her. Xander searches through

50:10

the apartment, which morphs into Buffy's

50:12

dorm. He calls out to Buffy

50:14

in her room, but here's a roar behind him. So

50:17

he opens Willow's closet and walks down

50:19

a secret passageway into his basement laundry

50:21

tool storage bedroom apartment. And

50:24

he stops short, frantically looking around and then starts

50:26

to hear that same pounding on the door leading

50:28

up into the main part of the house. And

50:31

he walks towards the stairs as the doors rattling

50:33

and he looks fucking terrified,

50:35

like so emotional. And then he

50:37

just whispers to himself, break

50:41

my heart. He just keeps saying it like that's not the

50:43

way out. And he keeps being like, that's not the way

50:46

out. Like you're not going to get out of here. If

50:48

you do this, like you can't become him. You won't ever

50:50

get out of this. And

50:52

the door bursts open, revealing a brutish

50:54

older man and Xander like flinches, which

50:58

is like so sad immediately,

51:00

like upon immediately upon seeing

51:02

his father, he's like in like the

51:04

fight or flight mode. And

51:06

he so he looks down to immediately and

51:08

Xander's dad, it's his father shouts, what the

51:10

fuck is wrong with you basically? And then

51:12

he's like, you won't come upstairs. What are

51:14

you ashamed of us? Your mother is crying

51:17

or guts out. And Xander's voice

51:19

shakes as he tells his dad that he

51:21

doesn't understand. And Xander's dad

51:23

stomps down the stairs towards him angrily

51:25

and yells, you don't understand

51:29

a lot of your names here with us. And

51:32

we're not going to change that. You

51:34

haven't kept on. And then he

51:36

punches through Xander's chest and

51:39

twists and Xander looks down

51:41

at his chest and then stares up

51:43

at his father, but he has shifted.

51:45

And we get this extreme close up

51:47

of a like a face painted white

51:49

with the eyes blacked out. And the

51:51

stalker grasps Xander's heart, like rips it

51:53

out of his chest and just toss it

51:56

to the side. It's intense. And it's

51:58

literally like his father. the line ends

52:01

here. Right. In

52:03

our, like in the basement, you're not

52:05

changing who you are. You're not changing

52:07

your destiny. There's nothing you can do.

52:09

Exactly. Like this is who you are. Like

52:11

so get used to it. And you don't have the heart to change it. Right. And

52:14

he's like fuck off. Now that

52:16

sucks. But now we're going into

52:18

Giles's dream. See, we see

52:21

in like first we're outside of it, of

52:23

the whole thing and we see Xander arching

52:25

in pain like mirroring the horror that is

52:27

happening in his own dream. And

52:29

then the camera focuses on Giles sleeping. Then

52:32

we see Giles stand in front of a seated

52:34

Buffy and they're in his apartment, which is no

52:37

furniture except for the chair and his bed on

52:39

the landing above. And he swings a

52:41

watch like a pocket watch back and forth in

52:43

front of her and tells her to stop thinking.

52:46

And she jokes that it's a little old fashioned and

52:48

he's like, no girl, this is how things have been

52:50

since the beginning of time. And

52:52

he swings the watch and tells her look

52:55

into the light and then light flashes

52:57

on Buffy's face and she giggles. Now

53:00

in the cemetery, shit is set up like

53:02

a fucking carnival. It looks like so much fun. I

53:04

actually love this. I do too. Like

53:06

the juxtaposition between the two things I think is

53:08

so cool. There are hedges cut

53:11

into animal shapes and wrapped in lights.

53:13

There's vendors milling about and

53:15

we see Buffy leading Giles excitedly

53:17

dragging him by the hand leading

53:19

him through the crowd. And she's like a little girl. She looks

53:21

like a child. Yeah. Pigtails.

53:23

Overalls. Overalls acting very,

53:26

very juvenile. And we see

53:28

a very pregnant Olivia pushing

53:30

a stroller next to him. And

53:32

she asked if Buffy has always wanted to

53:34

train this badly. And he says that Buffy's

53:36

never heard that story about patients. Now

53:39

Olivia is pushing an empty stroller and

53:42

she's like heavily pregnant. And

53:44

apparently this was actually supposed to be

53:46

Jenny Callender. Yeah. Mikey found that out

53:49

and that she declined, which I was

53:51

like, what the fuck Jenny Callender.

53:53

Yeah, why would she? It would have

53:55

made it so much like Olivia obviously

53:57

is like. A meaningful character. Absolutely. It

54:00

would have held a lot more weight, I think, with

54:02

Jenny Callender. Because it would have just been such a

54:04

callback to like a time where we were all like,

54:06

fuck, you guys were in love, you know? And you'll

54:08

have those dreams where you're like, fuck, I haven't

54:11

talked to that one for a long time ago. So

54:14

it makes sense. But this is

54:16

clearly like, I

54:18

mean, right here, it's like, very heavy

54:20

handed that it's like, he's

54:23

torn. But like, he

54:25

wanted this. Right. And we

54:27

have to remember in Hush, Olivia basically was

54:29

like, yeah, I don't know if I want to

54:31

stick around for this monster shit. Yeah, I'm not

54:33

into this. Like, she essentially was like, no, I'm

54:35

not gonna hang around for this. And it's like

54:37

Giles wants like a family. He loves Olivia, he

54:39

wants a family and stuff. But and

54:41

this is like the family life, but it's

54:44

mixed in with all the demons and monsters

54:46

and like, like, quote unquote, sideshow. It's in

54:48

the cemetery, right? Like it's mixed with that

54:50

that life that he leads is this like

54:53

carnival atmosphere of like, I could have this

54:55

family. Right. And Buffy is

54:57

like his kids. Absolutely. And he's like acknowledging

54:59

that, like, I think she might be the

55:01

closest thing I get to being a father.

55:04

Right. You know, and that that she looks

55:06

at me like a father, and that I need to

55:08

like, accept that I am that much

55:10

more to her than just a watcher. Yeah, like,

55:12

you know, so he says the thing

55:14

about like, Buffy's never heard that story about patience. And

55:17

then Buffy sees a game that she needs to

55:19

play. And she's like, I get to chuck a

55:21

ball at a vampire. Let's go. She begs

55:23

him in a very childish way. And he

55:25

relents, allowing her to play. And she checks

55:27

the ball, which misses entirely. And Giles says,

55:30

you have a sacred birthright to protect

55:32

mankind. It's to

55:34

catch your elbow. And Buffy instantly looks

55:36

dejected at this criticism

55:39

like it's literally she goes

55:41

down and she picks up another and hits the vampire

55:43

with the ball and it falls down. And

55:45

she spins around like smiling ear to ear and

55:47

she's waiting for Giles to praise her. But

55:50

he just looks at her and it's like, I don't have any

55:52

treats. I don't know what you want. And

55:54

Olivia is like, like, Rupert, what

55:56

the fuck? Go easy on her. And he tells

55:58

her that it's his. business, blood of the

56:01

lamb and all that. And Buffy

56:03

grabs her prize, which is a paper cone

56:05

filled with cotton candy. And Giles acts put

56:07

out, sighing that Buffy's going to get it

56:09

all over her face. And

56:11

she turns around slowly and the colors all invert

56:13

and she looks like she's at the fucking spa

56:15

with like a clay mud mask all over her

56:17

face. What do you think that was all about

56:19

with the colors inverting? I don't know if that

56:21

was supposed to be like, just a weird dream

56:23

thing. Like I think that it

56:26

has to do with something like her

56:28

connecting with a primal force or whatever

56:30

that. Yeah. Because the mud

56:32

mask is supposed to be like

56:34

very primal and very like. And

56:36

it happens later when she goes

56:39

into that. So you're probably right.

56:41

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's like that

56:43

connection there. Yeah. And we get

56:45

that trippy shot of Giles's image overlapping itself

56:47

as he says, I know you, I know

56:50

you. And I think that's what it

56:52

is. He's looking at her and being seeing

56:54

the first player. He's seeing something else. Yeah.

56:56

And behind them, Spike calls out to them

56:58

telling Giles to come on. He's going to miss

57:00

everything. And he runs into his mausoleum. Giles

57:03

runs in after him and Olivia is

57:05

sitting on a sarcophagus, like

57:08

sobbing. Yeah. Like, he's like, I

57:11

don't know what that's supposed to be like going

57:13

into labor. I'm not really sure. I wonder

57:15

if she's sobbing because like this is the she

57:17

saw the life plan for them of like pushing

57:19

the stroller with a baby. But this is

57:21

what he always gets pulled into. He literally gets

57:24

pulled into the cave. That's a really good way

57:26

of looking at it. Yeah. Like literally gets

57:28

pulled in. And she's like, well, fuck, I guess

57:30

we're out of the carnival now. Right. Like we're not

57:32

going to have this life. That's that makes

57:34

so much sense because the carriage

57:37

is laying on its side next to her.

57:39

Like on a crypt. That's tossed aside. Like

57:41

it's gone. We can't have it anymore. But

57:43

he tells Spike to not push him

57:45

around. He has so much to do.

57:47

And there you go. Now it

57:50

pans over to a crowd at the back of the

57:52

mausoleum. And suddenly the dream is in black and white.

57:54

And Spike proudly says that he's hired

57:56

himself out as an attraction and he

57:58

ships abruptly into a dramatic pose. And

58:01

the crowd really funny and the crowd

58:03

ooze and aahs and clips and snaps

58:05

pictures. And Giles asked what the

58:07

fuck he's supposed to do with all this. And Spike says,

58:09

you got to make up your mind, Rukes.

58:11

What are you wasting time for? And he strikes another

58:13

pose and he's like, people fucking love it.

58:16

And then he says, don't you

58:18

figure it all out yet with your enormous squishy

58:20

frontal lobe? And Giles says, I still think

58:22

Buffy should have killed you. And he starts

58:24

to storm away. But he runs into the

58:26

cheese guy who says, I wear the

58:28

cheese. It does not wear me. One of

58:30

my favorites. So good. And Giles says, honestly,

58:33

you meet the most appalling sort of people. But

58:37

he walked in. I wonder if that also, I'm just

58:39

thinking about this. I

58:41

wonder if that has to do with like, he's

58:43

looking at because Spike is very

58:46

reminiscent of like Ripper. Yeah. And

58:48

I wonder if it's like being

58:50

caught between worlds and like being

58:52

caught between identities. Yeah. Like, am

58:54

I the watcher? Am

58:56

I the family man or am

58:58

I Ripper? That guy with the leather jacket. Like

59:00

I could, because it went like black and white,

59:02

which to me felt like very like I'm

59:04

looking into the past kind of thing.

59:06

I'm like, who I kind

59:08

of was a little bit. I don't

59:11

know. I definitely could see that. Maybe. But

59:13

he walks down a corridor which leads into

59:15

the bronze and Giles grabs a book and

59:17

apologizes to Willow and Xander for being late.

59:19

Each of them have old tomes too. And

59:22

his entire living room set is just plopped

59:24

into the center of the bronze. And

59:26

Giles says that there's so much fuckery afoot

59:28

and Willow and Xander agree. And she shows

59:31

Xander's chest wound and Xander says that he

59:33

had to come for Anya's big night and

59:36

up on stage. Anya's trying to do stand up. She

59:38

starts a joke, but needs to refer to her notes.

59:41

Someone in the crowd tells her that she

59:43

sucks and she says, quiet, you'll miss the

59:45

humorous conclusions. And Giles thinks that he's, you

59:47

know, she's doing all right. Now

59:49

Willow asked if Giles knows that this shit is

59:51

all his fault. And he

59:53

says he's super fucking busy. And

59:56

Willow says that there is a primal animal force

59:58

after them and Giles's eyes. well up

1:00:00

a bit and he says that used to be

1:00:02

us my heart why do you think he says

1:00:04

that used to be us like we're

1:00:07

we're the primal animal force or we used to

1:00:09

be one I think that he is mourning

1:00:12

the loss of his family because I

1:00:14

think that this whole entire year has

1:00:16

fucked him up yeah cuz everything that

1:00:18

he knew and never like his role

1:00:20

to all of the scoobs and all

1:00:22

that other stuff it's completely gone now

1:00:24

yeah he is fucked up by

1:00:26

it and he's like constantly just

1:00:28

thinking about like you know that

1:00:30

that's what we used to be we used to

1:00:32

be this primal force and now we're not anymore

1:00:34

and it's it's so heartbreaking because he literally gets

1:00:37

like tears in his eyes yeah yeah like

1:00:39

we used to be the ones together like

1:00:41

fighting the forces of evil too and

1:00:43

it's like and it feels like it's so disjointed now

1:00:45

right you know now up

1:00:47

on stage Anya finishes her set and surprisingly

1:00:49

people laugh and clap especially Xander who's just

1:00:52

trying to be a supportive man and

1:00:54

Willow says Rupert you've got a focus

1:00:57

which by the way everyone calls him

1:00:59

Rupert everyone no one calls him no

1:01:01

Giles which it like they're the only

1:01:03

ones who really call him Giles yeah

1:01:05

so it's like even more

1:01:07

of like the disjointed yeah that he's that

1:01:09

he's feeling even less like he was to

1:01:12

them right he's Rupert now and

1:01:14

she tells him that if they don't know what

1:01:16

they're fighting they are fucked and Giles starts to

1:01:19

sing that the shit isn't like anything they faced

1:01:21

before and the crowd whoops as

1:01:23

he gets up on stage and a band joins

1:01:25

in and he says and

1:01:42

he tells her to find something referencing a

1:01:44

warrior beast and he reaches

1:01:46

the bridge where he sings that he's got

1:01:48

to warn Buffy and she's in he's like

1:01:50

she's probably next and it flips back to

1:01:52

Will and Xander as they research with lighters

1:01:54

held up in the air that they're like

1:01:57

looking at their shit while holding lighters up

1:01:59

in the air It's so funny. And he

1:02:01

adds one of the best lines. And

1:02:04

I will. And

1:02:06

I will. I can't

1:02:08

you just let it ski

1:02:11

clean. And he starts

1:02:13

the next verse but gets feedback. And

1:02:15

he stops abruptly and he follows the mic chord

1:02:18

on all fours. And it leads to a jumbled

1:02:20

mess. And he searches through it and

1:02:22

finds the watch from the first part of the dream.

1:02:25

And he says, well that was obvious. And

1:02:27

he hears a movement behind him. And we

1:02:29

get a few flashes of the female warrior

1:02:31

with her giant stone knife. And

1:02:33

he's frozen in place but whispers, I know who

1:02:35

you are. And I can defeat you with my

1:02:37

intellect. I can cripple you with my

1:02:39

thoughts. Of course you underestimate

1:02:41

me. You couldn't know. And

1:02:44

she steps behind him and drags the

1:02:46

stone blade across his forehead. And we

1:02:48

see him frozen as like blood

1:02:50

is just ripping down his face. And so he

1:02:52

says, you couldn't know. You've ever

1:02:54

had water? It's like, who?

1:02:58

And in that moment I had

1:03:00

such a theory going. I was like, this face?

1:03:03

Yeah. She was like, she was 100% convinced

1:03:05

this was face. I was

1:03:07

like, her hair gets all crazy. She's got

1:03:09

like blacked out eyes with the weird smokey eyes that she's

1:03:11

always doing. Yeah, you're like, you know this is just wily

1:03:13

face. I'm like, she had a watcher but she never

1:03:15

really respected it. That's true. That is

1:03:18

true. But we see Giles gasp

1:03:20

on the couch and shudder and then drops his

1:03:22

glasses to the floor. And we get

1:03:24

a non-existent commercial. And now we're

1:03:26

at Buffy's dream. So Buffy is

1:03:28

awoken by Anya who whispers frantically at

1:03:30

her from Willow's dorm room bed. Like

1:03:33

she's in Willow's dorm bed. Yeah. And

1:03:36

she's like, she's like, Buffy, Buffy wake up

1:03:38

Buffy. And Buffy's like, no bitch no. And

1:03:41

Anya begs her to wake up. She's

1:03:43

like, please. Buffy says she is in

1:03:45

control of that shit. Plus she needs her fucking

1:03:47

beauty sleep. And she turns over

1:03:49

to go back to sleep and is shocked to

1:03:51

see the female warrior dangling above her. And

1:03:54

I wonder if Anya, because I was like, why the fuck

1:03:56

is Anya in Willow's bed? Maybe it's

1:03:58

like, it's... Really like really

1:04:01

relying on that like you're all disjointed and

1:04:03

I've grown so far apart this last season

1:04:05

Yeah, like she looks into Willow's bed in

1:04:07

the dorm room and it's not even Willow.

1:04:09

It's not Willow Yeah, like it's somebody totally

1:04:11

different. Mm-hmm So she gasps

1:04:13

awake in her old bedroom and she's fucked

1:04:16

up and she plops back into bed and

1:04:18

standing above herself At the foot

1:04:20

of the unmade bed Buffy says that she in

1:04:22

faith just made that bed and I remember What

1:04:25

cuz I remember what and Tara asks

1:04:27

for who and Buffy looks

1:04:30

confused and she looks at Tara saying she

1:04:32

was hopeful that Tara was gonna give her

1:04:34

that piping hot tea and Buffy

1:04:36

asks where the gang is and Tara says

1:04:38

that she's lost them and Buffy

1:04:40

says no bitch No, they need me to

1:04:43

find them and Buffy looks

1:04:45

at the clock and it's 730 and

1:04:47

Buffy starts to panic She's like it's so fucking

1:04:49

late. But Tara says Oh Oh And

1:04:54

then she offers Buffy the Manus tarot

1:04:56

card Which is from last episode

1:04:59

and Buffy says that she's never gonna use those

1:05:01

and Tara says you think you know What's

1:05:03

to come what you are? You haven't even

1:05:05

begun and it flashes back to the bed

1:05:08

and now it's made again This

1:05:10

is when it gets like really heavy. It

1:05:12

gets a real heady now some

1:05:14

of these things You are not going to understand

1:05:16

for a little while Yeah, but these

1:05:18

things is no possible way you can even

1:05:20

slightly interpret but they're getting like repeated cuz

1:05:22

I don't I'm very confused So you guys

1:05:25

were like member Faith said like counting back

1:05:27

from 730 and then she says 730 But

1:05:31

she says that clocks completely wrong. Yeah, like

1:05:34

I need to write that shit down It will

1:05:36

cut you'll understand some of these things later. Okay.

1:05:38

Yeah, and when it hits you go. Oh shit

1:05:40

Yeah, but Buffy is upset and

1:05:42

she's like I need to go find the

1:05:45

others and Tara sighs and says I'm

1:05:48

just like I have

1:05:50

like a weird theory like is

1:05:52

she going to this is crazy But I'm

1:05:54

like is she gonna turn into like a vampire

1:05:57

and that's why she said back before dawn. I

1:05:59

like that Like, and like,

1:06:01

seven three, I'll have something to do with it.

1:06:03

I like it. I'm not going to tell you,

1:06:05

but I like that. That's like my wooden fake

1:06:07

stuff. That's a fun theory. But

1:06:10

Buffy walks through campus and she frantically

1:06:12

asked passerby's if they have seen her

1:06:14

friends, they wouldn't just disappear. And

1:06:17

she proceeds down the school hallway, but sees a giant

1:06:19

hole in the wall. And she looks in and sees

1:06:21

that Joyce is just in the wall. And

1:06:24

she's looking through a little hole and Joyce is just

1:06:26

delighted to see Buffy. And Buffy's

1:06:28

like, why are you here? In

1:06:30

the walls. And Joyce is like, it's

1:06:32

fine. I'm fine. Okay. No

1:06:34

worries. And Buffy hates, she's like, it looks

1:06:36

dirty. And Joyce says that it seems that

1:06:38

way, but don't worry, she's vibing. She's

1:06:41

got a lemonade. She's learning how to play mahjong.

1:06:43

She tells her to go find her friends and

1:06:45

Buffy worries that she might be in danger. But

1:06:48

Joyce just starts like breaking out into a fit of

1:06:50

laughter and then tells her that it's a mouse who's

1:06:52

tickling her knees. And Buffy

1:06:54

says she shouldn't live there. And

1:06:56

Joyce says that Buffy could probably break through

1:06:58

the wall. But Buffy is distracted

1:07:00

now. And she sees Xander walking up

1:07:03

a staircase looking sus. She

1:07:05

walks away without hearing Joyce say that

1:07:07

she could probably break through. And

1:07:10

I think this is to signify, obviously it's

1:07:12

like, mom, what are you doing in the

1:07:14

walls wall between her and her mom? Just

1:07:16

like this episode began with her saying, oh,

1:07:19

I finally met your fucking boyfriend. Did you

1:07:21

hear me say that? Finally. This is definitely

1:07:23

representing the actual wall between them.

1:07:25

She's like, you probably could break through. And

1:07:27

then it's her being like, oh, no, I'm

1:07:30

fine here. I have lemonade. I'm learning mahjong.

1:07:32

I'm being a lonely mom by myself. Like

1:07:34

without you go be with your friends. That

1:07:36

makes sense. And then it's like you could

1:07:38

probably break through this wall if

1:07:40

you called me or showed up or like worked

1:07:43

on our relationship. But Buffy doesn't hear

1:07:45

that because she's distracted. That's sad. She's

1:07:47

got too much going on. Joycey. And

1:07:50

again, a lot of this stuff comes back

1:07:52

and you'll see why it matters later. Hmm.

1:07:56

So Riley sits in a conference room upstairs

1:07:58

looking like a. in

1:08:01

a well-fitting suit. Oh my god. For

1:08:03

what? The suit! We

1:08:05

got a well-fitting suit. Take

1:08:08

notes, Angel. Honey. But

1:08:12

Buffy is surprised to see him, and she asks

1:08:14

how the debriefing went, and he

1:08:16

tells him that they made him Surgeon General. That was so

1:08:18

much fun. It went pretty well. Another

1:08:20

man sits across from him, and Buffy is a little hurt that he

1:08:23

didn't come tell her that he became

1:08:25

Surgeon General, and he says that they're

1:08:27

just coming up with a plan for

1:08:29

world domination. The key element? Coffee makers

1:08:31

that think. And Buffy's a

1:08:33

little taken back, like world domination? What the fuck? What's

1:08:37

up with that fuck shit? And he says, Baby,

1:08:39

we're the government. It's what we do. And

1:08:41

we all said, well, shit. Yeah. So

1:08:44

that checks. The other dude then pipes up,

1:08:46

saying that Buffy is uncomfortable as fuck, which

1:08:48

is totally understandable. And bitch, it's

1:08:51

fucking Adam. In human

1:08:53

form. I screamed,

1:08:56

No! And we were like,

1:08:58

get back! Go away! But

1:09:01

he says that aggression is a natural human tendency,

1:09:03

and he looks at her, saying, Though you

1:09:05

and me come by it another way. And we

1:09:07

hear a growl and flip back to

1:09:09

Buffy, and the warrior woman is standing

1:09:11

behind her. And Buffy is pissed. She's

1:09:13

like, we're not demons, motherfucker. And

1:09:16

Adam asks if that's a fact. Yeah,

1:09:18

like you're not a demon? Hmm? Are

1:09:21

you a vampire? Are you a vampir? Are you

1:09:23

working on becoming one? But Riley tells her that

1:09:25

they have lots of shit to do, a lot

1:09:28

of filing and giving things names. And

1:09:30

Buffy looks at Adam and asks what his was,

1:09:32

and he asks, Four Adam? Not

1:09:35

a man among us can remember. But shit is plunged into blue lights

1:09:38

as the PA announces that demons have

1:09:40

escaped and calmly tells people to run

1:09:43

for their lives. Riley

1:09:45

and Adam both stand up, and this shit

1:09:47

means trouble. Riley says, We better make

1:09:49

a fort. I'll get some pillows. They walk off.

1:09:52

That was hilarious. Which is kind of like,

1:09:54

I wonder if that's like, Buffy

1:09:56

kind of treats him like a glump. Yeah.

1:09:59

Sometimes. You know what I mean? She said it several times

1:10:01

like, like all you have to do to be a mission

1:10:03

is, and like do big things. Your shit isn't real. So

1:10:05

it's like, let's make a pillow for it. Yeah. But

1:10:08

Buffy can hear the demons behind her and she

1:10:10

looks down to her feet and notices her slayer

1:10:12

bag TM. And she tries to

1:10:14

call after them but does the thing that we have

1:10:16

all fucking done in a dream and I do so

1:10:19

regularly in the dream. I hate it. She can't bring

1:10:21

her voice above a whisper and she's like,

1:10:23

I have weapons. And

1:10:26

she's trying to yell to them but she's like, ah.

1:10:29

And she reaches into the bag, which is now filled

1:10:31

with mud and she dips her hands

1:10:33

in and looks at the mud on her hands and

1:10:36

she smears it on her face again and

1:10:38

the colors invert again. Like she's

1:10:40

connecting to that primal fur force. Yeah.

1:10:44

Riley shouts, I thought you were looking for your

1:10:46

friends. Okay, killer. If that's the way you want

1:10:48

it, I guess you're on your own. Again,

1:10:52

her insecurity of

1:10:54

like, like killer

1:10:57

being called a killer. You know what I mean? You

1:10:59

referred to as that, you know? And

1:11:02

Riley turns as the lights shift and

1:11:04

Buffy stands and walks cautiously and the

1:11:06

linoleum floor is covered by waves of

1:11:09

sand. It's a really cool transition because

1:11:11

she walks into a desert and

1:11:13

Buffy looks into the vastness of the desert and

1:11:15

she says that she's never gonna find her friends

1:11:18

here. And we see Tara

1:11:20

glitch walking towards her and Tara looks,

1:11:22

I know we said it before, but

1:11:24

my God. Gorge. She looks stunning. She's

1:11:27

wearing a pink top and a tie skirt and her hair's like

1:11:29

all put up on her head. And Tara

1:11:31

says, of course not. That's the reason she came.

1:11:34

And Buffy says that Tara isn't in her

1:11:36

dream. And Tara says, I was borrowed. Someone

1:11:40

has to speak for her. Now in

1:11:42

this whole scene, Tara, the way she

1:11:44

speaks was the perfect person to have

1:11:46

narrate this. Meditative. Because she's like Buddha,

1:11:48

her voice. And the shot

1:11:50

pans back to Buffy and we see the

1:11:53

warrior woman stalking behind Buffy as Buffy tells

1:11:55

Tara to let a bitch speak for herself.

1:11:58

And Buffy asks why the warrior follows. her

1:12:00

and Tara says she does. And

1:12:02

Buffy asks where her friends are and Tara

1:12:05

says that Buffy is asking the wrong questions.

1:12:08

And Buffy's over this bullshit. She's like, let

1:12:10

her speak. And Tara says, I have

1:12:13

no speech, no name. I

1:12:15

live in the action of death. The

1:12:18

blood cry. The penetrating wound.

1:12:22

I am destruction. Absolute.

1:12:25

Alone. When she says I am destruction

1:12:28

and then she goes absolute. Like

1:12:30

the way she says it, she has this inflection on

1:12:32

it. Yeah. It's I don't

1:12:34

know. I was like that fucking killed it.

1:12:37

Like that was such a good way of like

1:12:39

delivering that line. I don't know why it's a

1:12:42

certain way. And shit clicks with

1:12:44

Buffy too. She loved it. She asked if

1:12:47

the warrior is the Slayer and Tara says

1:12:49

that she's the first the first ever Slayer.

1:12:51

That is so fucking cool. Right. Because that's

1:12:53

not really anything that I ever thought about.

1:12:56

No, you don't think about it. You just

1:12:58

think like, oh, there's been a million like

1:13:00

every time one dies, another gets born. But

1:13:02

you never think to yourself, like there had

1:13:04

to be a first. There was a first Slayer

1:13:06

and that's looking cool. And that's why Giles says,

1:13:09

of course you wouldn't. You didn't have a watcher.

1:13:11

Right. Because that had been stated

1:13:13

yet. Yeah. No one could help you

1:13:15

understand and like navigate this. Right. And

1:13:17

Buffy looks down and she's holding a deck

1:13:20

of tarot and the top card shows the

1:13:22

gang watching movies earlier that night and they

1:13:24

move and Buffy says, I'm not alone. And

1:13:26

it's funny that she's holding tarot because she

1:13:29

told Tara earlier, like, no, I don't, I

1:13:31

don't use that shit. Yeah. And

1:13:33

Tara says that the Slayer doesn't walk in

1:13:35

this world. And Buffy says, I walk, I

1:13:39

talk, I shop, I sneeze.

1:13:42

I'm going to be a fireman when the floods fall back. There's

1:13:45

trees in the desert since you moved out and

1:13:48

I don't sleep on a bed of bones. Now

1:13:51

give me back my friends. She

1:13:53

delivers that. Chef's

1:13:55

go good. And the first Slayer is

1:13:57

fucking pissed and she yells out. No.

1:14:00

Friends, just

1:14:02

the killed. We

1:14:05

are alone. And

1:14:07

Cheese Guy cuts that fucking

1:14:09

tension with a cheese knife because

1:14:12

he pops up into frame waving the cheese

1:14:14

slices hanging from each hand. It doesn't say

1:14:16

a goddamn word, just stands there. You

1:14:19

distantly hear the cheese tacks,

1:14:22

the cheese tacks. And

1:14:24

Buffy is just done with this shit at this

1:14:26

point. And she says, I'm going to wake up

1:14:28

now. And the first Slayer says, no you're not.

1:14:31

She tackles Buffy and starts slamming her

1:14:33

on the ground. Buffy scurries up but

1:14:35

gets punched in the gut. She flies

1:14:37

through the air like angel chasing a rat into

1:14:39

a pile of trash and becoming part one. We can literally always

1:14:42

get it in there. It will always get in there. And

1:14:44

Buffy delivers karma back to the first Slayer

1:14:46

quickly, doing the same to her. But instead

1:14:48

of beating the piss out of her, Buffy

1:14:50

says that they're not doing it anymore. And

1:14:53

the first Slayer tackles Buffy and they roll

1:14:55

down the hill like Wesley and the Princess

1:14:57

Bride, as you wish. Buffy

1:14:59

shouts enough which wakes her. And

1:15:02

she's on the floor and she's panting, looking at

1:15:04

the rest of the group who lay unconscious in

1:15:06

the living room. And she tries

1:15:08

to stand up but bitch, the

1:15:11

first Slayer is there. She stabs

1:15:13

Buffy violently in the chest. Buffy

1:15:16

just lies on the floor and does

1:15:18

the most iconic eye roll I've

1:15:20

ever seen. It's so good. The

1:15:22

most iconic. Her eyes roll so

1:15:25

outrageously. She's got a great eye roll. Yeah.

1:15:27

A great like fuck off. It's just like,

1:15:29

ugh. Like they start from the bottom and

1:15:32

go whoop. Like such a good

1:15:34

eye roll. And then she asks,

1:15:36

Are you quite finished? It's

1:15:38

over, okay? I'm going to

1:15:40

ignore you and you're going to go away.

1:15:42

And Buffy gets up and brushes herself off

1:15:44

and adds, You're really gonna have to get

1:15:47

over the whole primal power thing. You're

1:15:49

not the source of me. And the first

1:15:52

Slayer is confusion. Yeah. So Buffy wakes herself

1:15:54

up. The rest of the gang come out

1:15:56

of it as well. And they stare at

1:15:58

each other like, what the fuck? Fuck.

1:16:01

Now we get a time skip to them all sitting at

1:16:03

the dining room table and they're all fucked up by

1:16:05

the fact that they were almost all killed by the

1:16:07

first Slayer in their dreams. Xander

1:16:09

says that she wasn't big on socialization

1:16:11

and Willow says, or the floss. Giles

1:16:14

comes in hot with the explanation saying,

1:16:16

somehow joining with Buffy and

1:16:18

invoking the essence of the

1:16:21

Slayer's power wasn't a front to the source of that

1:16:23

power. And Buffy says that bitch, she should

1:16:26

have brought that shit up before the fucking spell.

1:16:28

And Giles says he did. He said that there

1:16:31

could be dire consequences and Buffy

1:16:33

says, yes, but you say that about

1:16:35

chewing too fast. And I gotta be

1:16:37

on my boy's side here. There are

1:16:39

dire consequences to chewing too fast. Have

1:16:42

you ever choked? And yeah,

1:16:44

TMJ, all kinds of things. Have you ever

1:16:46

choked and had someone scrolling Instagram, not trying

1:16:48

to give you a high mike maneuver? No,

1:16:50

I have. I haven't. Have you ever had

1:16:52

to save yourself on a dining room chair

1:16:54

by giving yourself self-time with a minut time?

1:17:10

Okay. But Joyce comes in and

1:17:12

she's wondering what she missed. You know, no big,

1:17:14

the first Slayer tried to kill them all in

1:17:16

their sleep and Joyce is like,

1:17:18

wow, do you want some cocoa? And

1:17:21

the gang loves this idea. And she

1:17:23

calls Xander's name and he just says,

1:17:25

what Joyce, Mrs. Summers, clearly

1:17:28

still enthralled by Dream Joyce, which you

1:17:30

can blame him. She's gorgeous. Beautiful. And

1:17:33

she asked him to help her carry the stuff

1:17:35

back from the kitchen and he agrees, reminding himself

1:17:37

that Joyce is Buffy's mom, but

1:17:39

remains sitting, probably concealing his erections.

1:17:45

Oh, you didn't want to put a use

1:17:47

of it in there? No, his

1:17:49

spell. Giles asks

1:17:52

if Buffy is okay. And I love it

1:17:54

because he like, he goes,

1:17:56

it's almost like the dream did this. It

1:17:58

like makes him understand that he's okay to

1:18:00

be in dad mode because he's like you seem like you

1:18:02

still seem like he's like I know you and I know

1:18:04

when something's wrong I can be soft with you and

1:18:07

Buffy says yeah she just needs a shower and

1:18:09

then she's like this night has been wild like

1:18:11

the first flare right crazy and everyone agrees that

1:18:13

it wasn't about you know that was not the

1:18:15

journey for them they're like well let's not do

1:18:17

that again and Buffy gets up saying

1:18:19

well at least you all didn't dream about that guy

1:18:22

with the cheese I don't

1:18:24

know where the hell that came from and

1:18:26

they all just look at each other like

1:18:28

what who is that guy but upstairs Buffy

1:18:31

walks by her old room and she looks

1:18:33

at the empty bed and she steps towards

1:18:35

the door she remembers Tara from her dream

1:18:37

saying you think you know what's to come

1:18:41

what you are I haven't

1:18:43

even begun and Buffy stares

1:18:45

at the empty room and then walks

1:18:47

out of view and that's the

1:18:50

end of the season can

1:18:52

you give me anything anything

1:18:56

watcher about what the fuck Sarah's

1:18:58

talking like what she's gonna become

1:19:02

can you give me anything no asshole

1:19:05

I want you to experience it the

1:19:07

same way that we did it's

1:19:10

better that way without you having

1:19:12

any kind of preconceived notion like going

1:19:14

back on my like if

1:19:16

she becomes a vampire that's cheap I

1:19:18

feel sorry if that happens that

1:19:21

happens and I just called it cheap I said I

1:19:23

don't see that happening um like

1:19:27

I said my most valuable flair is the cheese

1:19:29

guy always and my

1:19:32

quote of the week is the one

1:19:35

where he wears that he doesn't wear the cheese

1:19:37

honestly that's my quote of the week as well

1:19:39

yes but this

1:19:41

is not where me this episode I

1:19:43

mean Tara looks like a fucking goddess

1:19:46

the entire time mm-hmm she looks it's

1:19:48

like incredible I mean harmony looks great

1:19:50

as the Swiss miss milkmaid gal gotta

1:19:52

give it to her yes Buffy

1:19:55

looks great in a black ball if he looks

1:19:57

beautiful yeah um Tara and Willow when they're in

1:19:59

the ice cream truck. They're both

1:20:02

just, you know, haughty patotties. It's

1:20:04

giving Willow a zillow. Yes, a

1:20:06

zillow. And then, I

1:20:08

mean, Riley just looks great in

1:20:11

that suit. And he even looks

1:20:13

great as a cowboy. And I'm not into

1:20:15

a cowboy, so that's saying something. I

1:20:19

love this episode. I've always loved this episode.

1:20:21

It's so funny because I've seen around

1:20:25

town, I've seen so many

1:20:27

people either love it or hate

1:20:30

it. Really? And I'm like, how do you hate this

1:20:32

episode? I love this episode. I think you would probably

1:20:34

just hate this episode if you didn't. I

1:20:37

think you really have to sit down afterwards

1:20:39

and go over it and think about everything.

1:20:41

Yeah, once you start picking it apart.

1:20:44

Yeah, because that's, I think that's the

1:20:46

fun in it. And I liked that

1:20:48

they did it differently. I liked that

1:20:51

they didn't. That last episode is a

1:20:53

perfect season finale episode, but they didn't

1:20:55

do that. They went with a totally

1:20:57

cerebral, totally left field season

1:21:00

finale. Like something you've, I like that you so

1:21:02

didn't expect it. Because it would have been really

1:21:04

easy to end the season on that last episode.

1:21:06

So easy. And it would have been easy to

1:21:08

start the next season with this episode. Yeah, I

1:21:10

don't think anybody would have even been mad. I

1:21:12

like that they ended it with this. So you

1:21:14

go into like the break being like, what

1:21:17

the fuck? What is going on? It

1:21:19

gets you excited for the next season. I love

1:21:21

it. I can't fucking wait for season five. I

1:21:23

think it's fun as fuck. I've seen so, so

1:21:26

many people say like, the next last seasons

1:21:28

are like incredible. Like five, six and seven.

1:21:30

Oh yeah. It's gonna

1:21:32

ramp up. Oh, I'm scared. But I

1:21:34

guess if the apocalypse comes, beat

1:21:37

me. If

1:21:52

you like the rewatcher, you can listen early and

1:21:54

ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in

1:21:56

the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members

1:21:58

can listen ad free. on Amazon Music.

1:22:00

Before you go, tell us about yourself

1:22:03

by filling out a short survey at

1:22:05

wondery.com/survey. The

1:22:08

rewatcher Buffy the Vampire Slayer is

1:22:10

hosted and executive produced by us,

1:22:13

Ash Kelly, that's me, and Elena

1:22:15

Urquhart, my siesta. Our

1:22:17

producer is Mikey Saroy. Chris Kirk

1:22:19

is our post producer. Music supervisor

1:22:22

is Scott Velasquez. Our original theme

1:22:24

song was written and performed by

1:22:26

Nerf Herder. For Wondery, Emily Feld

1:22:29

is our senior producer. Executive producers

1:22:31

are Dave Easton and Marshall Louis.

1:22:43

Look around. You can find cars

1:22:45

like these on Auto Trader. New

1:22:47

cars, used cars, electric cars, maybe

1:22:49

even flying cars. Okay,

1:22:52

no flying cars, but as soon as they

1:22:54

get invented, they'll be on Auto Trader. Just

1:22:56

you wait. Auto Trader.