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Hey there, pod fans, it's me again!

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It was the first on Wednesday, so there was

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a full episode out then,

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and here I am again with a bonus episode because

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it's Friday. You'll be sick of me,

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especially with all those little 60 second

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short videos I've been putting out there lately

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in the middle of the week and so on, editing these

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down to little 60 second bits. I hope

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you don't mind. Ignore the stuff you're

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less interested in or you've heard before

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if you have to. I'm not gonna take it

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personally. Easier said

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than done, I suppose. Not taking things

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personally, isn't it? Fear of judgement

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is just as important, as far as

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our brain is concerned, as fear of death.

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Fear is fear. Whether that's

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fear of being judged or fear

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of being eaten by lions,

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it gets processed the same way.

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And if you add into the mix the fact that emotions

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tell the brain what to remember and

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what to ignore, Then the next time

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something even remotely similar happens,

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it uses those same neurons in the brain,

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and brings in the same emotions along

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with it. Which is the same

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process for learning... People

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often talk about cross transferable

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skills, don't they? If you learn

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how to repair a pushbike, you'll find

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it easier to learn how to fix a motorbike.

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Well, that's the same for learning how you fit

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in in the world. It starts

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with learning how you fit in in your family.

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Or the classroom. That's a place

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where feeling judged can blossom with

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knobs on if the conditions are right.

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Especially if you combine feeling humiliated

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with low self esteem. It'll

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feel that you deserve

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to be told off by the teacher for not

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understanding something. You

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can learn. That you're stupid,

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and that everybody else is smarter

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than you. And then, with enough

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repetition, that feeling becomes

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part of that person's personality.

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Something that doesn't need a particular

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experience to fire off the neurons.

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Those neurons fire off by

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themselves. It becomes like

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breathing. It just happens

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by itself. Whereas,

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if the child's perspective about not knowing

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something was simply because of circumstances...

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That it's okay to not know

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something that wasn't taught to you, or that

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it's okay to make mistakes. To

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be taught, but to forget,

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because, hey, I'm just a

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kid, you know, give me a break. Then the

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neurons for feeling something else get

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marked, save. The ones

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for feeling confident being yourself,

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repeat that enough times, and

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then that. Becomes your personality.

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A feeling that you just carry everywhere

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with you, as opposed to feeling unconfident

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everywhere you go. Which leads to imposter

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syndrome at the slightest success.

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All because of fearing judgment,

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which is a totally normal

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feeling, but it's just linked

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to ancient human prehistory

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about being safe in our tribe. To

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not be rejected and thrown

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out to get chased by hyenas. And

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if this is you... I want

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you to ask yourself these two questions.

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One, have you ever

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walked into a group situation,

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a meeting, a room, a pub, whatever,

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and worried what the people there might think

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of you? Chances are,

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yes. It might not be every time, but,

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you know, it might be. But it's happened.

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And question number two, do

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you think that you're important

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enough to be focused on in a group

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of other people? And

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chances are, no. If

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you've answered yes to the first question, you're probably

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going to answer no to the second one. Yet

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they contradict each other. Because

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there's no need to worry about what people

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are thinking about you. When you

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know that people aren't thinking about you anyway.

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Firstly, you don't have mind

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reading superpowers anyway, so you 100 percent

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do not know what other people are thinking

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about. And secondly, even

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if you could read their minds... It would then

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take another superpower to be able to influence

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their minds as well, proper X Men stuff.

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Because the things you say, the way you

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walk, the clothes you wear, everything

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about you has little to no bearing

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on what people are going to think about you anyway.

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Studies have shown that for decades. Because

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our brain develops shortcuts,

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heuristics, over time, that

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make it jump to conclusions anyway. What

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someone thinks of you could

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just as easily be based on what they think of somebody

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else. Somebody from 20

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years ago, somebody from yesterday, somebody off

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the telly. You're gonna need some

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real strong X Men superpowers if you think you

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can do much about that. I

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wouldn't worry about not having thought control

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superpowers to try and take people's mind

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away from you. Because, as

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you probably know, everybody

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else is always wrapped up in their own stuff

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anyway. So don't waste your time.

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I know it's easier said than done, but this is where

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it starts. And you can find more about

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all of this on my Patreon page. Jump

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on board on there if you want to. There's a seven

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day free trial if you're not sure. So

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you've literally got nothing to lose.

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But I'll be back every Friday with an extract as a

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bonus anyway, and then you've got my little 60

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second shorts that I've put out. So I'm not going

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anywhere. So I'll speak to you wherever.

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See ya!