This week's top stories: Megadeth's new album launches at #3 on the Billboard charts while Justin Bieber's album is #2 (but you already knew that); Indeed.com shows us a parallel universe where Lita Ford is a dorky librarian/high school band teacher; Bret Michaels fancies himself a luggage designer, the better to transport wigs and bandanas; Vince Neil wants a little help from his friends for Celebrity Apprentice and Pyra speculates on the reaction; and the latest on Phil goddamn Anselmo.

Also: Black Sabbath cancels a few shows so Pyra can save her shirt money; Motorhead's Phil Campbell's working on a funny memoir; Alice Cooper's Hollywood Vampires attempt to trick folks into paying attention to the Grammys with a tribute to Lemmy; Bill O'Reilly wishes Megadeth "much success" with the new album; Smashing Pumpkins will tour with Liz Phair; Glenn Danzig and his belly have a cameo on Portlandia; Judas Priest's other singer gets ripped off; Sixx:AM will open for Korn this summer; and Metallica's James Hetfield appears on American Dad… wait, American Dad's still on the air?Oh, and Guns N Roses announces a show in Mexico City, and Pyra has a gross/awful/hilarious bit about why Axl will be late to the second Coachella date.

Plus! Upcoming Vancouver concert highlights!

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