0:06

He's a sexy sexy man, a

0:09

sexy sexy plan because

0:11

he ain't no stuck up looking so flight

0:14

you could try like a trucker, clean like a plank

0:16

and solid, younger, fool wheel dry

0:18

so we never get stuck up. He pray

0:22

so far to get up a lot of bandwids.

0:24

And he's a guy. Yeah, he ain't no standing.

0:26

He doesn't have cheese on a nighttime standwich

0:28

because everybody knows he's the Burgens. He banded

0:31

Ron Burgundy Podcast

0:34

Live from Hollywood, California.

0:38

But your hat take out every Ron

0:40

Bergar. Woh,

0:48

oh my godness, thank

0:51

you, thank you

0:55

yo, thank you,

1:00

welcome, welcome everyone. Great

1:03

to see you all. Of course I'm joined

1:05

by the lovely Carolina.

1:11

Great to have people out on a Tuesday night.

1:15

Thank you guys for buying tickets. Um.

1:17

All of the proceeds are going to Mercy Corps,

1:19

which is an amazing charity of helping families

1:22

in the Ukraine right now, so we really appreciate

1:24

it and it's very special.

1:26

Tonight is our

1:29

ten thousand podcast

1:34

and not I'm

1:37

I think we've done like fifty tops

1:41

maybe last Carolina, canna have a quick sidebar

1:43

with you look,

1:46

here's the thing. They don't know that and

1:50

and what's the big deal. Well, you know, they

1:52

can look it up whether we've done forty or fifty

1:54

or two. All

1:57

they know is that this is our ten thousand

1:59

show and it gives them like it makes it

2:01

a really special night. You know. I'm

2:03

sorry. I think they can hear us right now, they

2:05

can't. I called for a sidebar. Do you not

2:07

watch Law and Order? Whenever

2:10

they say let's have a sidebar,

2:13

that means everyone in the court has to stop listening,

2:16

and it's a professional courtesy. Right now,

2:18

they're just in fact whatever they're

2:20

laughing at. Incidentally, I don't know if it's a far side

2:22

cartoon or something, but they're

2:26

they're passing around a far side. That's why

2:28

they keep laughing. But

2:30

I've called for a sidebar, so they're not

2:32

paying attention to anything we're saying. Okay,

2:34

so just go with me. It's our

2:37

podcasts. Is that wonderful? Yeah?

2:43

Quick sidebar. I

2:46

feel terrible. These

2:49

people are the stupidest people have ever seen and we've

2:53

we're totally lying to them. And if they don't know

2:57

it, up, boy, I

2:59

think we go back and we're honest. This time, I'm not

3:01

going to sleep well to night. No, we can't go back,

3:03

don't ever go back. Thank

3:07

you for that Sideby Anyway

3:10

podcast. And we're feeling

3:12

great excite here to be at Largo.

3:15

One of them a wonderful

3:18

establishment. Um

3:20

do you know the Flanagan, the proprietor

3:23

of this establishment, has

3:25

told me that they are currently

3:27

in construction. They're building a tunnel

3:30

underneath La Sienega that's

3:32

gonna pop up in the middle

3:34

of Sin the Gentleman's Club across

3:36

the way. So

3:40

if you want to go see some two

3:42

for one and

3:46

the tell just goes into the middle of the floor at the middle

3:48

of Florence and you just pop up on a

3:50

cool little elevator with smoke. So

3:54

that'll be available spring of

3:58

wo okay, something to look because he's having

4:00

to do the construction himself. That's crazy.

4:03

It is crazy.

4:08

Where is the tunnel going to start? I

4:10

think it's starting somewhere in the lobby

4:13

and uh yeah, they're just you know, getting a bunch

4:15

of jackhammers and doing it on weekends.

4:18

In fact, if anyone wants to stop buying weekends and join

4:21

the jackhammer party and

4:23

build the tunnel to Sin You're

4:26

welcome to stop by it. We

4:30

have to talk about last night, So Sunday

4:33

night, not last night. I feel like I was last

4:35

night. Well something happened to me

4:37

last night. But let's talk about

4:39

Sunday night. Let's talk about Sunday night. Just

4:41

get it out of the way. We

4:46

all saw it. Jacob

4:50

ALRTI Jacobi got

4:53

invited to be on the Oscars and

4:55

it was like, what is diacolordy

4:58

doing out there? Are you? Who

5:00

are you? Jacob Lord? You're a tall

5:03

boy? How does that qualify

5:05

you to present at the oscars? He's got

5:08

baby smooth skin. I'll know that tall

5:12

drink of water? I know. Confuse me.

5:15

I was like, what my

5:17

channel Jacob broken? I just

5:20

couldn't believe it. I was slack

5:22

yard. Here's the other question I have. Why

5:26

was everyone doing jazz hands during

5:28

the show. It's

5:30

a it's applause in sign language.

5:33

It's applause in what in sign

5:37

language? And

5:40

sign language does what? Sidebar? Sidebar?

5:43

You know what? It's okay, that's a longer episode.

5:47

Anyway. You

5:50

said that you had great news. I've

5:52

got great news. Okay,

5:56

who is right? Uh? I

5:59

have been selected

6:02

to host next year's Oscars. Yes,

6:08

how who were How

6:11

did that come to you? Well,

6:13

they reached out to my people. I'm

6:16

your people, I know you

6:19

and I are my people. So

6:22

they reached out to you. Well, they didn't reach

6:24

out. They start with a shortlist and

6:27

they whittle it down. But

6:29

I've got every indication I'm on that short list.

6:31

There. They should be calling you soon.

6:34

I can't wait. I'm a little worried for you

6:36

to host the Oscars, but no, I'm

6:38

I'm excited and I in fact,

6:41

I've already started working on my material and

6:43

I would love to share

6:46

it with you tonight if I could. Yes, okay,

6:51

alright, great. I'm

6:53

not a stand up comedian, so you'll

6:58

have to bear with me. Um.

7:01

These are just a few things I've jotted down, some

7:03

notes. Uh. But you know a

7:05

lot of a lot of stand ups coming up to places

7:07

like Largo, and they work through their acting. So

7:11

if you'll, if you'll indulge me, elected

7:15

work through. So am I Oscar stand

7:17

up for next year

7:21

the Oscars. M

7:28

now you're doing tonight. Welcome

7:33

to the the nine at

7:36

four. I don't know what. Okay,

7:38

they'll tell me. Welcome

7:42

to the five Oscars years that

7:46

will be, I won't have to worry about that. Great.

7:52

I see there's a category for best

7:54

hair and makeup and

7:57

the winner is not G I

7:59

Jane two. You're

8:10

okay, You're okay. Ron

8:13

looks a little scared, but it's all right, okay.

8:24

In fact, there wasn't any hair in makeup.

8:27

Everyone had shaved heads. It

8:37

reminds me. I went to my barber and

8:40

I I say, take

8:42

a little off the top, Pete. And

8:45

he says how much? And

8:48

I say, not as much as G I Jane too.

8:52

It's okay. No one's coming, No one's coming,

8:55

No one's coming, No,

8:57

no one's there. No,

9:00

I'm just I'm practicing. When my host,

9:04

well, it's okay, you

9:06

got it. You're a you're taking

9:08

yourself out. You're taking yourself out. Okay. Uh,

9:17

I tweaked my back on that one. I'm not gonna lie to

9:19

you a little bit. Okay,

9:22

what else? What else do I got? No?

9:28

G I j And Tune is a great movie. Huh,

9:33

keep going with it. Everyone

9:36

loves it unless you happen

9:38

to be ad lies because

9:43

there's no hair. There's no hair. There's

9:46

no hair. Are

9:49

you going to do neat hair? They need like a

9:52

community an environment of hair, and

9:54

without it, they're bummed. They

9:57

can't live. We get it, neurally, got it? What

10:03

else? Let's do? Then? I have some over, I

10:07

have some regional humor here,

10:10

we got any people from the Central Valley Oscar's

10:13

audience. That'll

10:18

work right for the Oscar

10:20

Maybe maybe it's a little inside

10:22

baseball for

10:24

those of you watching at home. There's a place called

10:26

the Central Valley in

10:29

California. Some people call

10:31

it the bread Basket. Uh

10:36

did someone just say Jesus, give me a break, man,

10:38

I'm not a stand up. Hey,

10:43

why do they call it Sacramento? Do

10:47

they make sacred mentos there?

10:56

You guys remember mentos? Right? Those

11:00

odd commercials? They were weird. What

11:08

about the kid Cat Bar? Remember kid

11:10

cat bars? Huh? What

11:13

if Bob Dylan did

11:16

the kid Cat Bar song? It

11:18

would go something like this, give

11:23

me a break, That's

11:28

all I got, Give me a break, break

11:34

me up, a bit of a kid

11:36

kid bard. Mm

11:42

hmm. Let

11:44

me write that down. That's an applause break. I

11:47

don't want to I forgot

11:49

to bring my pin out here with me. All right, Well,

11:52

make a mental note. Okay, what

11:55

else? What the what else is in the news? Oh

11:58

oh, have you heard about these self driving

12:00

cars? Have

12:02

these cars now that that drive around

12:05

without a driver? What

12:10

if you're adam driver and

12:18

you're in the back seat of a driverless car and

12:21

a cop pulls you over, he

12:23

says, are you the driver? How

12:26

confusing would that be? Governor

12:39

rn De Santis is at it again. That

12:45

guy is so weird they should call him Randa

12:47

Mentos, Right,

12:50

am, I right? Anyway,

12:58

he doesn't want teachers to say the word gay

13:00

in the classroom like it's a dirty word.

13:04

The only wordy dirt in the

13:08

only word, the only the one,

13:10

hold on, hold on, hold on, the

13:13

only flirty dirt and goddamn it, pull

13:18

it together, on, pull it, pull your together.

13:21

Right now, you're on the oscars. For Christ's

13:23

sake. You're

13:27

bleeding out here, buddy,

13:31

Apply a tourniquet and get your head screwed

13:33

on. The

13:39

only dirty word

13:42

in the state of Florida

13:45

is de Santis. Anyway,

13:53

we got a great rest of the show. Uh,

13:59

she was a cat woman and

14:01

he was in cats. Put your hands together

14:03

for a halle Berry and who

14:07

was in cats? To James

14:11

Cordon, James Gordon, So

14:14

there'd be a transition like that don't. I'd

14:16

have to worry about that they would write that for me. But

14:20

little work in progress, something i'm you know, noodling

14:23

with. But thank you, thank

14:25

you so much. It's

14:29

so helpful to work out your material.

14:32

I'm gonna say there was there was three

14:34

g I Jane, two jokes, okay, so maybe

14:36

just do too, maybe one

14:39

tops, just one tops, okay,

14:44

all right, Yeah, we're working

14:47

on a catchphrase here at the Burgundy

14:49

Podcast. Yes, this is fun little audience

14:51

participation, just if

14:53

you feel so inclined to repeat with me.

14:59

Well, oh

15:01

whoa, whoa, whoa whoa,

15:05

Sorry about that. Um,

15:08

that happens often here at Largo. Uh.

15:12

For those of you who frequent this wonderful

15:14

theater, you all are aware, I'm

15:17

sure by now that it is haunted. Yeah,

15:21

and spooky things

15:24

happen occasionally. Um,

15:27

but that's just what are gonna

15:29

do. It's a quirky place. That's

15:33

a quirky little place. Um,

15:35

but it is haunted. So okay,

15:42

no big whoop, no

15:44

big whoop. Slightly haunted. This is quite

15:46

a coup for us because

15:50

we don't get high quality people, not

15:54

really. We just

15:57

we get a motley rag tag group

15:59

and we're happy to have them. We

16:02

love our guests,

16:04

but sometimes but

16:06

sometimes they blow um and

16:10

I'm sweating my nuts off trying to figure out

16:12

what to talk to him about top

16:15

dancing, tap dancing. But

16:19

tonight we don't have to worry about to worry

16:21

about it, Ladies and gentlemen, please

16:23

put your hands together for

16:25

Mr Anderson. Pack. Yes,

16:40

and it's a pack. Everyone pas to

16:42

meet. Great

16:46

to see you, my friend. Oh my god, it's right,

16:49

it's really him, see I told you, yes,

16:57

yes, lord? What

17:00

what's happening? Like? I

17:03

never heard of Do you know

17:05

that? Gentleman? Yeah? I want to know him.

17:09

Well, maybe this is maybe something's gonna happen

17:13

at the end of the night. Keep

17:18

it cool, everyone, keep it cool.

17:20

Friday? What happened on

17:22

Friday? You must be talking about the residency

17:24

Las Vegas? You were in Las Vegas. You're

17:27

currently doing a residency, got a residency, got a new

17:29

look? I needed a Vegas look.

17:33

You're doing that with Bruno Mars. Is that nice?

17:39

And how long has that been going on? We

17:42

were like twelve shows now okay, yeah,

17:45

we have like all of me. Let's

17:47

take a little break. But we have a couple more

17:49

shows this week. Shows

17:51

in you and you and Bruno mar

17:53

I mean, you guys are a wonderful pair together.

17:56

You guys, really are you? You're

17:58

incredible? Um,

18:01

I assume he's a nice guy. Yeah

18:03

I did too, but okay,

18:07

he's fair. Hey,

18:12

kind of like my father. You just make your money. You

18:14

don't talk to each other, get the job done. Simple

18:17

yet stern. You go your

18:19

way. He goes his way. I

18:22

like to go his way too, though. I

18:25

like picking his brain. He's a little

18:27

guy. He's like a little guy. Do you ever just knock him down

18:29

to the ground. The

18:32

way he's built, It's like I could break

18:34

you in half. Never seen the shape. I've

18:36

never seen a shape like this, probably

18:38

not since Prince. Those guys can get

18:40

into different situations like well,

18:43

they're all muscle, all muscle

18:45

and sin. Yeah, exactly,

18:48

all condensed. Yes, like a

18:51

like a wolverine.

19:08

I can't believe we have someone as cool as yourself

19:11

on the show. Yes, it's just this

19:14

is sick. This is amazing. These crowds

19:16

have been fantastic. I mean, this

19:19

crowd is a little dumb, h but

19:23

aren't they get the participation

19:25

award for sure? Now

19:29

you're a local guy, you were born in Oxnard,

19:32

Ventura County. You were born, What

19:34

do you remember of St. John's Regional Medical

19:37

Center? It

19:44

was a dark time. Yes. Do

19:46

you remember your infancy? Do you remember coming out of the Yeah.

19:51

The reason why I ask is because I've

19:53

got a bone to pick with St. John's

19:56

Medical Center. I was up

19:58

in one of the beaches there in stepped

20:00

on a rusty aboard with six

20:03

rusty nails sticking out of it, and

20:05

I had to go and do it to get a technics shop

20:07

there, and they were rude. They

20:09

were just rude to me. Where

20:12

did they say? Well, they said

20:14

it's time to pay, and I'm like, I don't have any money on it. Yeah,

20:18

depending on when you go. They don't

20:20

pay him well enough. So

20:25

no, real they birth you, They

20:27

birth the legend and that's

20:29

their claim to fame. It's that in strawberries.

20:31

That's what the town is known Anderson

20:33

strawberries. In fact,

20:35

your mother used to farm strawberries, is

20:38

that correct? That's a sexy fruit.

20:42

Oh the shape, how

20:46

I didn't even think about the shape.

20:50

I mean, I like him in champagne. I like

20:54

dipped in chocolate. What do

20:56

you like to what do you like to put strawberries

20:58

in probably

21:01

like a blender, and

21:05

do you do you sexily talk to

21:07

eat strawberries? It goes into the blender like

21:09

on the season, I'm gonna blend you up a

21:11

little bit. We talked to him too nice though. It's just

21:14

okay, it's a fine line. Yeah, right with

21:16

my fruit's

21:20

words to live by.

21:23

What's another sexy fruit? Okay?

21:28

I think a pineapple. Pineapple is

21:30

kind of sexy. Dragon fruit. Come

21:35

quiet. I

21:39

was gonna say a TAngelo persimmon,

21:44

persimmon. Yeah,

21:49

get me some of that persimmon juice. Rub

21:51

it all over my body, let

21:55

it drip down my back. It's got

21:57

me going. Yeah, I'm going right now too,

22:02

Carolina. Any thoughts on fruits? I

22:05

um, I want to move on to the next question.

22:09

You're a singer, you're

22:11

a songwriter, your rap, you

22:14

play the drums, you produce music.

22:18

Is it too much? When? When

22:22

does it start to look like just bragging?

22:28

It's genius? I

22:30

just I think it's better when other people

22:33

say it. For me, I try not to listen

22:36

anything. I just say I'm just here to be

22:38

of service, and then I go to the drums

22:40

and start singing at the same time and then I start, you know, dancing

22:43

and stuff and just kind of lits peep for itself

22:45

and that can gu tiring. But that's why I joined

22:47

the group. You know, I'm in a group. Now it sticks

22:49

on and I got someone to kind of you

22:51

can go off, you can share the burden getting

22:54

older and there, um, and

22:56

they're not as good as you write exactly. You

22:59

see how this win.

23:02

I wouldn't regardless of and and we're all

23:04

participating. It's like when I was in eighth grade.

23:07

I played with on the sixth grade basketball team and I

23:09

just dominated and it felt

23:11

so good. And I would

23:13

laugh at them, aren't

23:18

hair and a grade back

23:21

hair? And these

23:23

snotty little kids were looking at me and I

23:26

was like, what's up, peach, fuzzly? Do

23:29

something? Yeah, do something, don't

23:31

just stand. Yeah, you

23:33

worked with Christina agaul

23:41

What one was that? How

23:43

do you say your name? Christina?

23:45

I can't

23:48

see it. Christina Aguilera, Yeah,

23:51

Chris, Yeah, she's got pipes

23:54

right, come on? Yeah? Yeah?

23:57

What did what did you? Did you guys do a song

24:00

together? Did you did a

24:02

few songs? Um? I

24:04

produced some stuff, But the best thing that I ever do with

24:06

her is a take the picture

24:09

next to her Hollywood star, like at three

24:11

in the morning, just

24:14

by yourself. Well,

24:16

she called me and she said, what are you doing on just three

24:18

in the morning. You know I'm

24:21

up by the week. And

24:23

uh, she said, I'm picking you up.

24:25

We're gonna do something. So I went and she

24:28

got this escalade from like two thousand

24:30

four. That's still that's

24:32

the best year about That's

24:34

when they were really caring about what they did. Run, don't

24:36

walk, Get an old four escalador. They

24:41

don't make them like they used to. I'm talking DVD

24:43

play. It's that Fantis arrow

24:45

where there was you could watch a little g I j V.

24:52

Guess so

24:56

sorry, and so you're in the old four escalade. We're

24:59

having a great time. I'm are we going? It's

25:01

like, we're gonna go take a picture next to my Hollywood

25:03

star three in the morning. She said,

25:05

all right, you ready, get out? Got out? She

25:08

did selfie back in the car. Now is it

25:11

drop my ass off? Did you at

25:13

least go to Norms or something? I

25:15

gotta wake up. I got thing to do. I was like, yeah, we can hit

25:17

Norms, it's on the way. But

25:20

she had to wake up and do things. Are you just what

25:22

she told me. Yeah, yeah, classic.

25:28

Yeah. I stayed

25:30

outside for a little bit to make sure. Yeah, I saw her leave.

25:32

She's a great Hollywood story for

25:35

our ten thousand podcasts. Incredible.

25:39

What was it like working on a pot farm? I

25:42

miss it? Yeah, it would have been so much

25:45

better now that I don't smoke weed because

25:47

I quit recently. Okay, because

25:50

oh oh,

25:53

are you guys good? We're all good? Uh,

25:57

Anderson, we need to inform

25:59

you that this largo

26:01

is haunted, just so you know.

26:03

It's not it's it's less.

26:07

It's not a big deal. But is everything all right?

26:10

Everything alright? On? Hold

26:12

on, hold on, hold on God,

26:18

it's a Colonial

26:21

ghost Boy for those our listeners. Colonial

26:27

ghost Boy has walked onto the stage.

26:30

He's looking at us. He's holding a lantern, holding

26:32

a lanterns a zombie. He looks

26:34

both a hundred years old and six years old

26:37

at the same time. He

26:40

has a devilish, impish grin on his face.

26:44

He's wearing modern footwear, which

26:46

is which

26:51

is an interesting touch. I

26:55

can't seems to be searching for

26:57

someone something. Uh.

27:00

Brief history. This used to be the side of a

27:02

pub, a British

27:04

pub burned to the ground

27:06

in before

27:10

the Spanish discovered California, the

27:14

and before the Germans discovered San Diego.

27:18

Uh, I'm

27:20

sorry san Diego. H.

27:25

It's just a lost little boy. The

27:27

British were here and they've built a pub on this site.

27:29

You must be looking colonial ghost

27:32

boy. Can we help you

27:34

with something? Be gone? Be

27:38

gone? Oh?

27:42

Okay, that

27:45

was a lot all

27:48

at once, good

27:50

at that. I need your help with that, are

27:53

you okay? Anderson? Because my heart is beating

27:55

like a chinchilla and five cups

27:57

of five

28:00

red bulls. I was trying to come up

28:02

with an analogy and kind

28:06

of I

28:08

gotta work out the kinks because when I host the Oscars

28:11

next year, I can't I can't be flobbing

28:13

things like that. Let's

28:18

get this back on track. It is

28:23

right, Dre

28:28

Snoop, Kendrick Lamar,

28:31

Busta Rhymes, Eminem,

28:34

Bootsy Collins, Brandy

28:37

Andre three thousand. You've worked with everybody,

28:41

I mean everybody the game. You

28:45

know. I played jazz flute right, I

28:50

one of my whole time favorites. And I sit

28:52

by the phone for days waiting

28:55

for the call. I even when I'm cooking dinner.

28:57

I have a hundred foot long word

29:00

on my phone. Yes, I still

29:02

have a landline waiting

29:05

for that call. I would love to get

29:07

on one of your tracks. I would.

29:10

I would be like an absolute

29:12

honor. We're Andre

29:14

three thousand. Now I know someone.

29:17

I have an actor friend who

29:19

did a movie with him about

29:22

ABA basketball, and

29:27

I know him very well and

29:30

he just loved He told

29:32

me that Andre was the greatest guy, wonderful

29:36

musician, loved his music. But he

29:38

is he still making music? Okay.

29:41

You can get him to make music if you have a hundred thousand

29:44

dollars for him. And then he gets

29:48

and he's playing flu and it's

29:52

that's the special paint, the special

29:55

talents to get him back money.

29:59

Yeah. Up. And it was the best

30:01

verses ever got on a record. Blue

30:04

cheese it's it's uh, it's

30:06

definitely fetta. Do

30:10

you do you refer to hundred dollar bills as blue

30:12

cheese c notes? Yeah?

30:16

Now I know that Andre tho thousand

30:18

got big into fashion. Do you

30:20

think about getting into fashion? Do you have a fashion line? Act

30:23

gets into me? Okay,

30:27

I hear you, Yeah, yeah,

30:31

because you know I know someone who could use

30:34

some help with their fashion. Uh,

30:41

I am fine, pain

30:44

Okay, we got it. You can see

30:46

you pointing out. It's

30:51

fine, Carolina, It's Carolina.

30:54

Okay, I'm not sitting

30:56

next to sex fifth Avenue over here. Um,

31:03

we talked about you produced music

31:05

and what's that like? Do you just yell at people?

31:08

Yeah? Yeah, yep, and um

31:10

I produced a lot with my band. What do you try?

31:13

How do you help someone to find the encourage

31:15

them by breaking them down and

31:18

build them back up? You stuck? Do it again? Yes,

31:21

we're all waiting on you. Friend. Phrases

31:23

that used to help me out. Super constructive. If

31:25

you like it, I love it. That's

31:29

cool. So you're cool with that. Stuff

31:32

like that, and then they start to push and producing

31:36

right there. That's how I was taught. Wow,

31:39

I mean I could do it all about myself. I

31:42

say that too, but it's

31:45

kind of hard when I'm defending on them to a second.

31:48

But yeah, Now you played

31:50

drums during the super Bowl halftime show?

31:53

Is that right? Eminem' drummer? Yea? What

31:56

an incredible some of you? I know me from

31:58

that. Yeah, I also have a Now

32:03

talk about tickets

32:06

to go. Let's by

32:08

the way, let's go residency

32:10

everyone by, Let's

32:15

buy a block of eight tickets, doesn't matter if you show

32:17

up or not exactly

32:20

because Tunnel

32:24

to Sin Yes, we do another tunnel, but

32:30

I want to get back to this halftime show. An

32:33

incredible collection of artists. Uh.

32:37

Dr dre who's not a medical doctor.

32:39

I looked it up. Uh,

32:43

all of these artists. Dr Drake

32:45

discovered you as well. I believe you're

32:48

there in Inglewood

32:51

in Compton, in front

32:53

of the world playing this music that that

32:55

is the heart of l A And

32:58

are you sitting there thinking

33:01

how are the Bengals gonna win this day? I

33:10

was thinking, like, I

33:13

have to time this out perfectly because if

33:15

they do win, I don't want to

33:17

be here. And

33:21

it was getting really kind of close,

33:24

and I'm looking at my family. I'm like, we could probably be on

33:26

the other side of town if things go left, because

33:29

Los Angeles is very dramatic sometimes. So,

33:31

um, did you have money on the game? No? No,

33:35

I was just trying to hold my drumsticks keep you know, like stay

33:38

focused. And then I was like, oh, yeah, there's a game too,

33:40

and then um, it was an amazing show. Yeah,

33:42

it was great, and the whole

33:45

day. The whole day was definitely to

33:47

see stadium full

33:50

of a lot of uncoordinated white people just

33:52

having a great time. It

33:56

was just it's

33:59

just people.

34:04

Yeah. I

34:07

like to move my body, you know. But

34:11

there was something beautiful about There's something special about

34:13

that, the freedom of it all. I've

34:30

read somewhere to you that you were a showcase

34:32

model on the Prices, right, is that? Yeah?

34:35

That was the same day I mack on us. But but

34:38

did you already have some level of notoriety notorary?

34:41

What's the word umary?

34:45

Were you already famous? I've

34:47

signed a few notaries, so

34:49

have I. But

34:52

outside that U, was

34:55

that just something you wanted to do as a goof

34:57

Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah,

35:00

I couldn't dig anything bigger. Like I grew up

35:02

on that. It was great prices right, showcase

35:05

showdown. I had to leave a session earlier,

35:08

Oh to go do Dr Dre and Kanye to

35:11

go do the Prices right. You guys got it from here, right,

35:13

I gotta think, just tell us

35:15

what it is. It's all good, yeah

35:18

me. And then I was like, I

35:20

got Prices right, and it was just like they

35:24

didn't. They seemed disappointed, and

35:27

I was they

35:30

were a little super quiet because I was expecting,

35:32

like, yo, that's a mosque. That's crazy, Like,

35:35

yeah, Dre

35:37

was just yeah. I was like, all right, well,

35:40

maybe were they jealous? I think so too

35:43

it maybe they were so shocked

35:46

and jealous they were like this

35:50

dude just flexed. It

35:53

came off as a disdained, arrogant.

35:58

I just love that you did that. Yeah.

36:00

When I got on there, it was got to do the

36:02

whole running down the island

36:05

presenting. Did

36:08

you practice, Yeah, it's

36:13

a skateboard. Yeah,

36:16

it was say talking to the models,

36:18

that's a rough life. Yeah, did

36:21

you think about just throwing it all away? And I was

36:23

gonna be a model and then was a spokesmodel.

36:26

Yeah, in between commercials you talked to the model,

36:28

the dude that's been with no shirt on for like eight

36:31

hours trying to keep like it's

36:33

probably the only it's probably the last

36:35

bastion of spokesmodels prices, right, that's

36:38

right, that's the only place where you can judge and step

36:43

on TV. That's

36:45

true. There's a lot of venues you can watch spokes

36:48

models and that are not televised.

36:50

Yes, yes, I'm

36:52

forgetting that. I mean

36:55

they're in Pickin, Like I've

37:04

seen a picture of your boy, your

37:06

son, Uh, and he looks like the

37:08

coolest kid I've ever seen. I

37:11

mean, if I had a boy who was cooler than me, I'd

37:14

be so jealous of I'd

37:16

lock him in the basement. How I mean, how do you? How

37:19

do you? How do you deal? We learned if you

37:21

can't beat him, you got to join him. I start

37:23

helping him out. I was like, oh, you want subscribers,

37:26

Okay, you know you gotta

37:28

do skits. Where's your bits? They don't You

37:30

don't have an exciting life. You can't be a vlogger.

37:32

You're just like you're home school,

37:34

you know. Like so I directed his bits

37:36

now and he got it. He's up to tink tin Case

37:39

subs, tin Case subs

37:41

on YouTube. He wants to be a tin

37:44

Case. He subs, I'm

37:48

talking content doesn't just sidebar?

37:55

What does that mean? It's

37:57

like ten subscribers and

38:01

it's just shortened up? Can't

38:06

me? Dad? Does

38:10

he hope? Does he want to get to eleven k? He

38:12

got to tin and he just kind of was like over. He

38:15

got into all

38:17

the work we did. I

38:19

mean, I have footage, a whole plot,

38:21

like a line. I was gonna do, no drive, he

38:24

spoiled. I have two of them now too.

38:26

I always again, I have a four year old two now

38:30

not as cool. The four year old, Yeah,

38:35

born into Money's just no chance, is

38:40

is I ruined him. It's

38:42

kind of like that tail as old

38:44

as the middle age this and I

38:47

just continue to spoil him.

38:49

I can't stop. Well,

38:51

that's what we do. Great. I

38:53

mean they say you're

38:56

only as happy as your unhappiest jobs,

38:59

right, so

39:05

I thank you for that. Will

39:08

give him whatever they want right here you go. I

39:11

mean, when you're getting back, you're gonna have to do that residency

39:13

for twenty years show. Yes,

39:15

a lot of show, Yeah, a lot of shows. Work

39:19

something out with Copperfield. So I'm

39:22

in the groups. You do something

39:24

extraordinary, something that I just find

39:28

incredibly astounding. You

39:31

played drums and you sing at the same

39:33

time. I mean, I'm

39:36

trying to think of other musicians you've done

39:38

that. The first Phil Collins possibly,

39:45

um but uh oh

39:48

yeah, well Collins

39:51

sounds Fleetwood Mac. Did he sing it all?

39:55

Mick Fleetwood? I mean Fleetwood Mac. That's

39:57

the name of mad. Maybe

40:00

I could throw that into the stand up. Would

40:06

you indulge just with some plague

40:08

any would you? It

40:14

would be an honor right would

40:16

never be able. Well,

40:22

I'm let's see, this is the hip poppy. No,

40:36

Bobby, don't ask me. I'm just

40:39

so crush up and crush it so clean, don't

40:41

shoot down so sassy. I'm

40:44

just so cushop brush so clean

40:46

clean. You

40:49

know, the list goes on and on. Who

40:55

I guess I'm excited. I know if anybody's gonna

40:57

know it? So still

41:02

Atlanta? Is that where you're from? To

41:05

the window Toma?

41:14

That song just got it? Didn't

41:16

know? That's called when songs

41:18

get better with times you're not feeling it didn't

41:24

did it? It still

41:26

feels good to sing the

41:28

swems off my ba. Is

41:32

that where we're going? That

41:34

was the song of my youth? Yeah,

41:37

yeah, yeah yeah. My

41:40

generation is lyrics, like yeah

41:42

right, we made lyrics a bit like what

41:48

can I just yeah, that

41:51

scares the hell out of me to

41:54

sing and to play drums. I

41:56

just don't know how you do it. It's nothing to be scared

41:58

about, Broake, Are

42:04

you sure it's honest? I mean they

42:07

say you should always try things

42:09

that scare you. Uh, okay,

42:13

on big fella, okay, okay, all

42:16

right? Oh

42:19

was I gonna sit on your lap? Oh

42:23

is that hell? Lessons are well, that's a weird

42:26

drum school. Then okay,

42:32

I'll just dive in, right mm

42:38

hmm, Okay,

42:41

take my time as

43:02

I'm singing and playing the drums

43:05

at the same time. And

43:11

now that I'm doing it, it's

43:13

not as hard as I drunk. In

43:18

fact, I'm pretty darn good at

43:21

this. It's

43:27

a pleasing time I make when I sing

43:29

and played drums. Maybe

43:34

someone will record this and put it

43:36

on a sleep machine. Whoa,

43:42

whoa, that's

43:45

pretty good. Um, all

43:48

right, everyone, just stay time, get

43:50

up, get up. That's probably what made him. That's

43:53

fine, don't make it mad. Oh

43:57

no, the girl boy has returned? Ah?

44:02

What is he looking for? What

44:06

happens to this poor little boy? I

44:09

just want to make sure that's something. What

44:13

are you doing? What are you checking him

44:15

from? Just making sure he doesn't have a doesn't

44:17

have a ghost gun on him? He's

44:22

clean? What

44:27

happened to you? Little boy? Can tell

44:29

us what happened to you? What haunts you? Can

44:32

you whisper it? Can

44:35

you whisper? Oh?

44:38

My god? Is he okay?

44:40

He murdered his whole entire family,

44:43

all right, on

44:46

this night, this very

44:48

spot. Three years ago. That

44:51

can't be good for us. Are you

44:53

looking to murder again? Is

44:57

it someone here in this audience? M

45:00

hm? Can you point them out? Someone

45:03

out there? Where

45:06

are they? Oh? Not? Are

45:08

you? That

45:12

is so rude? Thank

45:15

god, it wasn't me. I knew it wasn't gonna be Anderson

45:18

for sure, he's got a residency.

45:23

I think we just have to get him out of Oh I forgot.

45:25

I have an agent scroll a

45:28

ghost. I always

45:30

keep it next to the beanie babies just in case. Okay,

45:38

ye ghost, ye ghost, Ye

45:41

little boy Google, stop

45:44

haunting Largo. We'd

45:48

like to say, chow chow

45:52

chow. It

45:56

worked. Wow

46:00

ancient Italian spell Italian?

46:06

Yes, very savvy. Um Anderson,

46:10

we can't thank you enough for coming on tonight. You're

46:12

an amazing artist. Anderson

46:15

bark everyone, Anderson

46:21

bark. Oh

46:33

my god. Now that's a star. I

46:37

always tell you you can see it. But mile

46:39

a way. When he walks into the room, it was it

46:41

was Boner city out there, you know what I mean. Oh

46:45

bo ouga uga.

46:49

I'm afraid we're at the end of our show. I know

46:52

we've come to but

46:54

I have one last stegment. I like to end with a

46:56

little thing I like to call my

46:59

take. Yeah, uh,

47:05

I'll just get

47:08

out of here. One

47:17

of the great quotes in history, and

47:20

I forget who said it. Whether

47:30

it was Buddha Gandhi or

47:33

John F. Kennedy, it doesn't really matter. The

47:36

quote goes something like this, love

47:40

makes you do crazy things. Now,

47:55

over the years, I have had many loves,

47:57

and I have been guilty of being

47:59

crazy in love, no

48:01

question. I have loved people

48:04

and objects as hard as anyone could love,

48:08

especially chocolate. Don't

48:10

get me going on chocolate. I'm

48:13

a chocoholic. Dark

48:15

chocolate, semi sweet milk, yum

48:18

yum yum. But

48:21

I digress. I

48:24

guess the big question we're trying to ask

48:26

ourselves is can love actually

48:28

make you do crazy things? Can

48:31

you just walk onto a commercial airline

48:34

flight, refuse to wear a mask,

48:36

and then proclaim you know why

48:38

I refuse to wear a mask because

48:42

I'm in love. I'm

48:46

in love and I don't care

48:48

who knows it. Can

48:54

I just walk into my local Starbucks

48:56

and start urinating on the wall. Yeah,

49:01

and when the staff says, sir, what are you doing?

49:04

There's a restroom just two ft

49:06

away from you, I

49:09

can say I know I see

49:11

it. I'm not blind. I'm

49:14

in love, and

49:17

I'm going to direct my firm hot

49:19

urine stream so

49:22

that it douses everything in your star.

49:30

Can I steal a car from a showroom

49:32

floor, then lead law

49:34

enforcement on a six hour slow speed

49:37

chase, and

49:40

then when they're cuffing me on the ground and ask

49:42

me why I did it? I can bellow.

49:44

I don't know what to say, but

49:47

I'm in love. Cupid

49:51

arrow hit me and I was overcome

49:53

with the need to steal a fully

49:55

loaded forward focus. These

50:02

are the questions that have baffled mankind

50:04

for centuries. Experts

50:08

say that two people who are only

50:10

vaguely attracted to each other can

50:13

fall madly in love if they go through

50:15

a scary or exciting experience

50:17

together. Boy, don't I

50:19

know it. I was once

50:21

trapped in a well for two weeks with a

50:25

with a Mexican guy named Alessandro Patadina,

50:31

and it was scary and exciting

50:35

and we fell for each other hard,

50:39

nothing crazy, just some hand holding and he

50:41

would occasionally caress my cheek. We

50:44

were eventually rescued, and when we got

50:46

back on solid ground and the

50:48

cheering was over, we

50:51

looked at each other and realized the spell

50:53

was broken. Just like that,

50:56

we were no longer in love. So

50:58

it was love just a chemical action? Is

51:01

it spiritual? Who knows?

51:04

We all just need to

51:07

love and be willing to be loved.

51:10

Do me a favor when you go home tonight,

51:13

grab your loved one or ones, hold

51:16

them tenderly, look

51:19

them in the eye, and then bite them as

51:21

hard as you can in a cheek and

51:25

then just say I'm sorry. I know that was

51:27

crazy. I

51:30

love you. And

51:36

if we all just took a moment to do that to

51:38

the people we care about, the world would

51:41

be a better place. I'm Ron

51:43

Burgundy and that's my take on than

51:47

what that grag s

51:51

sis me because

51:55

he stuck looking so fine

51:57

to dry like a chuckle like a fla

52:00

saw him duncker fo we'll dry

52:02

so we never gets a duck fright

52:05

so far to get up a lot of band wins.

52:07

And he's a guy. He ain't no stand

52:09

and he doesn't have he's on a nighttime sandwich

52:12

because everybody knows he's the Burgunzi bandit.

52:15

The Ron Burgundy Podcast