0:02

Hello, everyone, back

0:04

here on the Run Burgundy podcast,

0:06

and yes, it's Hollywood's

0:08

biggest night, the two thousand

0:11

twenty one Academy Awards. Stars

0:14

are starting to arrive on the Red Carpet,

0:16

and I'll be here along with Carolina

0:19

to get you all the pre shows scoop

0:21

on who will be taking home a

0:23

little man tonight called Oscar?

0:27

What what are you doing? What do

0:29

you mean everything you just said in your intro?

0:32

It sounds like, do you

0:34

think you're hosting the Red Carpet pre show

0:36

to the Academy Awards. This

0:38

doesn't make any sense. We're just doing

0:41

the podcast. Okay, way

0:43

to roll along with my banter, Carolina?

0:45

Did I miss something? See? This

0:47

is why I asked if we could get Lisa Gibbons for

0:50

this episode? Did Did anyone ever

0:52

try to call Lisa Gibbons? I don't understand

0:54

what you're doing. Who is Lisa Gibbons?

0:56

Jesus, what the hell is

0:59

the matter with you? I've

1:02

heard you say some really

1:04

dumb things on this show, But who

1:06

is LEAs Gibbons to

1:09

two thousand correspondent and

1:11

eventual co host for Entertainment

1:13

Tonight Boom, she has

1:16

a damn daytime Emmy Award,

1:18

which is more than I can say

1:20

for you. And can anyone get

1:22

her on the phone please, I want to get

1:24

this tape right. OK, calm down, what

1:28

what are you talking about? This is just a regular episode

1:30

of the show. No, No, it's not, Carolina.

1:33

Look, let's get real here. This

1:35

is a podcast. Have you seen the Nielsen ratings

1:38

for our show. We're not cutting

1:40

it, not by a long shot, probably

1:42

because there are no Nielsen ratings for podcasts.

1:44

That's just a thing for TV. Look, I've

1:46

seen some numbers, Carolina, And let me tell you

1:49

this, Joe Rogan is kicking our God,

1:52

He's at the top of the Nielsen ratings and I

1:54

don't think that's ending anytime soon.

1:56

You have a lot to learn about the biz.

1:59

Show biz. This is a cruel mistress.

2:01

I'm a very aware of how tough show

2:03

business. It's such a cruel mistress

2:06

that sometimes certain gentlemen

2:08

who are stressed out actually use

2:11

the services of a professional dominatrix

2:13

and have an actual cruel mistress

2:16

hit them on the behind with a whip

2:18

to take their mind off of the cruel

2:20

mistress that is show business. Um.

2:23

I don't want to I don't ever want to revisit

2:26

that subject, and it's a whole other subject

2:28

for a whole other show, which we're just

2:30

not going to do. But it still doesn't

2:32

really explain why you started the podcast

2:35

today, like we were hosting the Red carpet

2:37

coverage for the Academy Awards. All

2:40

right, I'll love it with you. I'd like

2:42

to have a bunch of wheels spinning at once. And I've been

2:44

through so many ups and downs in my career

2:46

and the one thing that I've learned is

2:49

you've got to be ready for anything. So I figured, why

2:52

not take an episode of the podcast

2:54

and use it as an audition tape

2:56

for the people that the American Motion Picture

2:59

Arts and Signs to see

3:01

if maybe me and Lisa

3:03

Gibbons can host next

3:05

year's Oscars. Has anyone

3:08

called Lisa Gibbons? I

3:10

do not want to do this with Carolina.

3:12

You can't just hijack the show and use

3:15

it as an audition tape for the Red carpet

3:17

pre show to an awards ceremony. Really,

3:19

what is the show called the

3:22

Ron Burgundy Podcast? And

3:25

what's my name? Ron Burgundy?

3:27

And what is your name? Carolina? Exactly?

3:30

It's not Lisa Gibbons. I don't

3:33

know what this. Lisa Gibbons don't have

3:35

a leg to stand on here, Okay, simple now,

3:38

Lisa Gibbons, she has two legs

3:40

to stand on, and I don't think she would mind me

3:42

saying they're terrific, have

3:44

been for a long time. She

3:47

knows, I know it. The only

3:49

person who doesn't know it is you, and that's

3:51

your fault. You cannot use the podcast

3:53

as an audition tape for the Oscars pre show.

3:56

It's just so terrific.

3:58

Let's throw to commercial and then me

4:01

and Lisa Gibbons will be back with a special

4:03

appearance from Oscar No money,

4:06

Laura Dern. Welcome

4:20

back everyone. So just to catch you

4:22

up to speed, we could not get

4:25

Lisa Gibbons on the phone, even though

4:27

I gave our producers her personal phone number,

4:30

which she gave me just so

4:32

you know, in the future, RON numbers that have

4:34

five five in them are usually

4:37

fictional. Well I'll keep that in mind. But Lisa

4:39

Gibbons or not, we are going to pretend it's

4:41

the Academy Awards and you're going

4:43

to help me get the job of hosting

4:46

the red carpet cover. Fine,

4:48

whatever, I just feel like they usually get

4:50

younger people to do that. Now, like

4:53

Ryan Seacrest or Mario Lopez.

4:55

Heyy, what did I tell you?

4:57

You shut your mouth? You you shut your mouth right

4:59

now about Mario Lopez's a friend.

5:02

I didn't say anything bad about him. I don't,

5:04

but I don't want to be in competition with Mario Lopez.

5:07

I happen to know he's not going to be available to

5:09

host the OSCARS pre show next year. That's why

5:12

I'm even considering doing this

5:14

in the first place. How do you know Mario

5:16

Lopez isn't doing it? Because friends

5:19

talk? Carolina. Also,

5:21

we recently went on a whitewater rafting

5:24

trip together, and I I think he's going to be laid

5:26

up for a while. Oh my god, did something happen

5:28

to Mario Lopez? Was he injured? It's

5:30

nothing, really, the trip, No, it's nothing. I

5:32

was supposed to be rowing, but I got hungry

5:34

and I reached into my lunch sack for some venison

5:37

jerky. I swear I only put the ore

5:39

down for like three minutes

5:41

tops. Anyway, Mario Lopez

5:43

is going to be fine. America. Nothing

5:46

a full body cast and six months of intense

5:49

rehabilitation won't fix, so get

5:51

well soon. Mario, We love

5:53

you, buddy. Run Did you intentionally

5:56

cause a whitewater rafting accident with Mario

5:58

Lopez so that you could get

6:01

a chance to possibly host the Red

6:03

Carpet pre show of the Oscars next

6:05

year? No? And oh

6:08

spells no, I

6:10

can't believe you'd even make that accusation.

6:13

That is so sick, Carolina. You

6:16

have a sick mind. And

6:18

with that, let's go to our three sixty

6:20

cams so we can get a look at all the great

6:22

fashion tonight. I Ron, if you seriously

6:25

want to do this, that was a terrible

6:27

say who are you wearing tonight?

6:29

Carolina? It appears you've

6:31

just dressed in sweatpants a T shirt

6:34

from what is that? Crank Anchors? That's

6:36

a funny show. Yeah, but this is the

6:38

Oscars. My god, you look like

6:40

trash. Okay, now

6:43

I'm just being bitchy like the late great Joan

6:46

Rivers. Rest in peace. If you're

6:48

just going to be insulting, I can leave, no

6:50

stay. You can submit this to the tape. The

6:52

Red Carpet hosting gig is always a two

6:54

hander. And if you could just dial up

6:56

Liza Gibbons, I would be great. I'll do my

6:58

best. But I didn't come

7:01

unprepared for this. Since there's no way

7:03

for us to know what boring films are

7:05

gonna be the big winners next year because they

7:07

haven't come out yet. I went and pulled

7:09

some information from the sixtieth Academy

7:12

Awards, which happened in why

7:16

don't we just do last year's Oscars

7:18

so they have a more fresh take on your hosting ability?

7:21

Well, if I'm being honest, I didn't see any

7:23

of the movies from last year. The

7:25

one that one Best Picture had subtitles,

7:27

so you know, right, that's an automatic

7:29

note from you. They make them too small. They

7:32

make them too small. When I'm on a teleprompter,

7:34

they used three point type. Also,

7:37

there was another matter of me no

7:40

longer being sent screeners because of a misunderstanding

7:43

with the union. What was the misunderstanding? It's really

7:45

silly. I had this neighbor who I swore

7:47

was stealing packages from

7:49

in front of my house, so late

7:52

one night I whipped a DVD of something

7:54

called Uncut Gems straight through

7:56

his bedroom window. It

7:58

shattered the glass and scared

8:00

the Bejesus out of him. That is just awful.

8:03

That's destruction of property. Someone

8:05

could have really gotten hurt, just like Mario

8:07

Lopez on that wrap. Well joke ended

8:09

up on me because my neighbor took

8:12

it and made a bunch of copies and started

8:14

selling them out of the trunk of his car. And that's

8:16

that's why I don't get screeners anymore. To

8:19

be fair, Uncut Gems was a really

8:21

great movie. I haven't seen it because

8:23

it landed on the floor of my neighbor's bedroom.

8:26

But from what I'm hearing, the Sandman was

8:28

robbed. Anyway, Can we

8:30

just go over this Academy

8:33

Awards stuff I've prepared? Sure, whatever

8:35

you want to do? Think okay, now, act

8:38

like Share is walking down the red carpet. Okay,

8:40

Hey, hey, Lisa Gibbons, snap out

8:42

of it. It's Share nominated

8:44

tonight for Best Actress of her performance

8:47

in the film Moonstruck. Share

8:50

so lovely to see you.

8:53

You pretend to be Shared. Pretend

8:55

to be Shared. Let's have some friendly banter. Okay?

8:58

Is that so hard to Okay? What I've hello,

9:00

Ron, it's me Share, It certainly

9:03

is. And may I say you look

9:05

ravishing this evening? I think everyone

9:07

is picking you as the winner. Tonight, the

9:10

scene where you slap Nicholas

9:12

Cage in the face and tell him to snap

9:14

out of it? Did you know that that was going to

9:17

be a classic momentum. I

9:20

was just really in the scene and

9:22

now share I think you love this, Lisa

9:24

Gibbons, and I have put together a little

9:27

something for you as a good luck charm tonight.

9:30

What the kron You just

9:33

hit me? Snap out of it, Lisa Gibbons.

9:35

Roun, you just slapped me in the face. Hey,

9:40

yeah, he don't strike me, Lisa Gibbons,

9:42

I'll strike you. Oh, Carolina,

9:51

not really hurt me. You

9:53

were slapping me. I was just defending myself

9:57

to stage slaps. No,

9:59

you would do to play. You were doing full up

10:01

slaps. I did

10:03

it like twice. Carolina.

10:08

Good you're gonna shoot me? They

10:10

were warning shots. You brought out

10:12

your gun. They were warning shots.

10:15

Okay, they were nowhere near

10:17

you, and you know it. You're

10:21

crying. You brought out the gun and

10:23

you're crying. Oh

10:26

my god, you can't Okay, you

10:28

can't bring any I've told you this. You

10:30

can't bring the gun to the recording studio. Do

10:33

you understand what was happening?

10:35

I was the scene from

10:38

Moonstruck, and I was slapping

10:40

you as Share the

10:43

way she slapped Nicholas

10:45

Cade. Okay, I just want to get

10:47

this straight. You were

10:49

going to slap Share in

10:52

the face, and I thought that this would go over

10:54

well. I think she'd really get a

10:56

kick out of it. I was recreating

10:58

the scene. She really doesn't see. I don't know

11:00

what anyone who seems like they would like that, But

11:02

she'd be very least, she'd

11:04

be very surprised. But yeah,

11:07

I very surprised. Maybe you got to

11:09

create moments on the red carpet. You

11:11

would not get hired with this audition. Let's

11:13

just keep going. Nominated for Best

11:16

Original Screenplay tonight for Radio

11:18

Days is Mr Woody

11:21

You know what, let's just skip that one. Yeah, calling

11:23

that run exactly. He never shows up to the award

11:25

shows anyway. Oh wait, who's that?

11:28

Why? It's Glenn Close, nominated

11:30

tonight for her terrifying role in

11:32

Fatal Attraction. Glenn, welcome to Hollywood's

11:35

Biggest night. Okay, I'm supposed to

11:37

be going close now, Yes,

11:39

yes, be Glynn close. Hear God?

11:42

If you could just put a little bit of effort in at this would

11:44

be so helpful. Sap I was in

11:46

the moment. Whatever, Hi, Ron

11:48

Burgundy, I'm gun close. I am surprised

11:51

to see you here tonight at the oscar Not

11:53

as surprised as I was when I

11:55

saw what a psycho tour and fatal

11:57

attraction. Stay away from my bunny. It's

12:00

glen clothes. Okay, run stop. You can't

12:02

call going close a psycho on the

12:04

red carpet. Well, look, I was referring

12:06

to the care I mean, have you seen fatal

12:08

attraction? Yeah, I've seen it. It's just I

12:12

don't think you're cut out for this, Carolina.

12:14

Just we're supposed to be a team here.

12:18

I'll tell you what if I get this gig you're in

12:20

and Liza Gibbons is out, how does that sound.

12:23

There's no way you're getting this. But whatever,

12:25

just do not slop me again. Oh

12:28

wow. Now this is a treat

12:30

Nominated for his song in my second

12:32

favorite movie of the year besides RoboCop,

12:35

It's Bob Seeger nominated tonight

12:37

for Shakedown. This song from

12:40

the film Beverly Hills Cup to Hi,

12:43

Ron, It's me Bob Seger. I

12:45

guess you left the Silver Bullet Band back home

12:47

tonight. Huh can

12:50

you can you laugh like ha ha

12:53

ha ha. Now, Bob,

12:56

you've got some tough competition tonight from

12:58

the film Dirty Dancing. Are

13:00

you guys? Are you nervous or are

13:02

you too much of a rock and roll coop guy

13:04

to care about these things? I just you

13:08

know, whatever happens happens. Seriously,

13:12

Carolina, that's your Bob Seegert impression?

13:14

Can you put on a gruff manly voice.

13:18

Just I'm Bob Seger, and

13:20

I hope I win an oscar in night. No,

13:23

no, no, he would never

13:26

say that, Not Bob Seeger. He's too

13:28

cool to say something like that, Carolina,

13:30

that sucked. It was awful. Bob

13:33

Seeger. If you're listening, and

13:36

I'm pretty sure you are, I apologize. I

13:38

apologize for Carolina is awful

13:41

impression of you, and

13:44

I'm sorry you lost to I've

13:46

had the time of my life from Dirty

13:48

Dancing. I cannot believe what

13:51

a waste of time this has been. I

13:53

think we can salvage someone. Maybe I can

13:55

get Lisa Givens to overdub your parts. Are

13:57

we done with this nonsense? We'll take a

14:00

We are minutes away from Hollywood's

14:02

biggest night. Back here after

14:05

this we

14:17

are boy, we

14:21

are back here the

14:23

Ron Burgundy Podcast. I've

14:25

just been told this is actually the season

14:27

finale of The Ron Burgundy Podcast. Wait

14:31

you didn't know that, Yes, this is

14:33

it. This is the season finale. So

14:36

this is the episode, of course where you shot

14:38

at the ceiling. So this might be the last

14:40

show we ever do. Well, that's up to my heart

14:43

radio. I just used it to make

14:45

an audition tape for the Red Carpet pre

14:47

show to the Academy Awards. Yes,

14:49

we could have had an interesting topic or chatted

14:52

with a guest, but we went down this

14:54

road of yours. You know what. I call

14:57

me crazy, but I feel absolutely confident we

14:59

did the right thing. That's insane, that's crazy,

15:02

and I have a feeling we'll be back for a season

15:04

four and you just might see me and

15:06

Carolina hosting the Red Carpet

15:08

pre show of the Oscars next time

15:10

around, unless Lisa Gibbons is

15:12

available. I've run

15:15

um, never slapped me in the face again,

15:18

and never shoot a gun in the studio

15:20

again. I mean, I feel like that's a

15:22

reasonable request. I've asked you.

15:24

Thanks to all of our listeners and all

15:27

that stuff I was saying about the Nielsen's ratings

15:29

earlier. I was just joking around. Joe

15:31

Rogan is a cool guy and I and

15:33

I very much do not want him

15:35

to beat me up. That's the great

15:38

thing about podcast. There's room for everyone, including

15:40

me, Ron Burgundy.

15:43

Any any final thoughts, Carolina, I

15:46

just want to say it's been an interesting season.

15:49

I feel like we've grown

15:52

as broadcasters, and as

15:55

crazy as it sounds, I'd like to continue

15:57

doing this with you. Well, I

16:00

feel the same, whether it's well it's me

16:02

developing a genuine affection for

16:04

you or a simple case of Stockholm

16:06

syndrome. I'm sure we'll be speaking

16:09

to you again soon for the Ron Burgundy

16:11

Podcast. This is Ron Burgundy saying Steak

16:13

Glassie, and thank you to I Heart Radio

16:16

for the money. We really enjoy

16:18

it, as well as doing the show. Until

16:21

next time. I'm got

16:23

a special treatment only for our listeners,

16:25

but for you, Carolina, I'm just gonna light this is

16:28

that a spark flight? No, it's a Roman candle.

16:31

Let's get out, We'll get out, get out. Oh

16:33

it's really look at a flame? Whoa,

16:38

whoa, Yeah, everybody get out. We're

16:40

a box of my thousand. I bought a box of my thousand

16:43

down in New Mexico

16:52

prom day for Nickna. Forget the key,

16:55

unwalk the studio. We're

16:57

in here, Carolina. We gotta ride it out. WHOA,

17:03

I'm gonna have to ride out.

17:06

Cover Cover yourself with my jacket. Pull

17:11

that bottle of water over your head. Oh

17:16

it's we're not even in the worst part yet.

17:21

My hair. That's your hair. Jump

17:25

down the door if you can. Oh.

17:34

I shouldn't have bought the jumbo back. So

17:36

many fireworks, there's

17:39

so many fireworks. The

17:50

Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of

17:52

I Heart Radio. I'm Ron Burgundy.

17:55

The host, writer and executive

17:57

producer. Carolina Barlow is

17:59

my co host, writer and producer.

18:02

Our producer is Nick Stump. Our

18:04

talent coordinator is Anna Hosnia.

18:07

Writers are Andrew Steele and Jake Vogelness.

18:10

This episode was engineered, mixed and

18:12

editing by Nick Stump. Until

18:14

next time, This is Ron Burgundy.

18:19

M