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books.com/podcast Free Today that's Audio

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books.com/podcast F R E Ratings

1:11

Aeroplanes and humans and any

1:13

animals who you know of

1:15

the animal kingdom. everybody tells

1:17

your when their animals here

1:19

my boys they stop and

1:21

their transfixed because you're the

1:23

melodious towns and all that

1:26

animals are you know able

1:28

to like? Really. Be. Able

1:30

to feel some high intelligence kind

1:32

of thing. So I animals. Humans

1:35

and Earthlings and all of you

1:37

are very excited for my show

1:39

today at the Roseanne Barr. Podcast.

1:42

I gotta get the name and their jack will get mad

1:44

at me so. Welcome.

1:51

To the Roseanne Barr podcast on it's

1:53

gonna be another but but but but

1:55

but but but but but but bang

1:57

her cause we have such a great

1:59

gaston! to. Ladies and

2:01

gentlemen, the king of

2:03

late night television himself,

2:06

Greg Gutfeld. Hi, yeah.

2:09

Stop, everybody. Sit down. Sit down.

2:12

Thank you. Yeah, the busboy over there.

2:14

Yes. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

2:16

I'm more excited than you are. I'm

2:19

so excited. I can't believe it. I cannot believe

2:22

it. I mean, I'm not trying to be a

2:24

fanboy or everything, but come on, you're Roseanne Barr.

2:27

Oh, you're a boy. I've been the

2:29

most successful female comedian in

2:32

50 years, maybe

2:34

longer. Probably. Yeah. Probably

2:37

like stand up. Stand up. But I

2:39

don't really know because Amy Schumer, she

2:41

says she is because she's done the

2:43

movies. So she did like the movies.

2:46

So she says she's the most successful

2:48

female stand up. But I'm like, yeah,

2:50

but we mean funny. Yes. I

2:53

know Amy. Yeah,

2:56

I like Amy. I'm going to pull that

2:58

out. What was that line? Like they

3:00

said about John F. Kennedy, Dan Quayle. Was

3:02

it Al Gore? Like I like Amy Schumer.

3:04

You're great, but you're no John F. Kennedy.

3:07

She's no Roseanne Barr,

3:09

but nobody is. Nobody. Oh,

3:11

you're so sweet. You know, when

3:14

I'm really drunk, I really will agree

3:16

with you there. When I'm really drunk

3:19

and I start going off to my son, these

3:21

people, but you know, try not to go there

3:23

to the edge, you know, because you said you

3:26

quit drinking. Yes. Yes. I

3:28

stopped. It was the only drug I

3:31

hadn't tried with sobriety. I

3:33

had done everything and

3:35

it was getting harder

3:37

and harder to get

3:39

anything out of it. And I'm going like,

3:42

what about this thing where you don't do

3:44

anything? And then it was amazing. It

3:46

is. I'm literally and I hate

3:48

to say this because it sounds like

3:50

a hippie thing, but I'm high. Like when

3:52

I get up in the morning, because I've

3:54

never had mornings before. Like I get

3:57

up and I'm like, it's seven. I feel

3:59

good. good. What is this thing? There

4:01

used to be all these problems I had.

4:04

Like, I was like, usually I'd be depressed

4:06

or anxious and all that stuff. You know,

4:08

it might still pop up in here and

4:11

there, but it's amazing. A lot of that

4:13

moodiness and weirdness and ambivalence kind of like

4:15

drifted away and I'm actually interested in things.

4:17

I didn't quit drinking because I thought like,

4:20

what would I do with all

4:22

that time? And it turns out you can do

4:24

a lot of stuff. You can do a like

4:28

weird things. I go for walks. I would never

4:30

go for a walk. I thought that walking was

4:32

for losers. Like,

4:35

what are you going to walk to? Are you going

4:37

for a walk? How stupid is that? And

4:40

now I'd like... You'd rather be sitting

4:42

there drinking and chatting, but it's about

4:44

chatting, isn't it? You know what it is? It's like,

4:47

yeah, drinking was about being with

4:50

your thoughts and

4:52

work in hypothesizing. It's

4:55

almost like beta testing the future. I

4:58

love doing that, but at the same time,

5:01

it's like I was also just avoiding things.

5:04

And I was incredibly... As

5:06

I got more and older, I was just becoming

5:08

more antisocial. Like, I was no longer

5:11

drinking with other people. I would

5:13

avoid... I was like, I'm not going to

5:15

go to a bar. I have to wait

5:17

for a waiter. I have to wait for

5:19

a bartender. There are other people there. Just

5:23

go home. Get a bottle of wine.

5:25

So it just became more isolational. And

5:27

I decided, you know what? I got...

5:29

It's time. It's time. 2024 is

5:32

coming up. I got to be ready. Yeah, you've

5:34

got to... There's a big fight. But

5:36

were you... So did you get sober

5:38

or did you just quit drinking? I

5:41

thought sober. I mean, I didn't go

5:43

to any rehab. I just... It

5:46

was just... A click went off in my

5:48

head and I had

5:50

just been thinking about it. I've

5:52

been thinking about it for a while, but I

5:54

always put it off. And then for some reason,

5:57

I just decided, that's it. And... And

6:01

that was it. And then I've been like, you know,

6:03

I- You think it's because also you got

6:05

so busy. I mean, you're doing this

6:07

show and you can't feel bad. You have to

6:09

be able to produce, you know,

6:11

the work and feel good. Exactly.

6:15

And you have to kind of be

6:17

able to not put all

6:19

your shit on other people. And when you're drinking,

6:21

you do. That's true. And it's just like, you

6:24

know, if you're not feeling well, then no one

6:26

else is either. And I just had to like,

6:29

you know, maybe if I just tried

6:31

this other drug, what would

6:33

happen? And then all of a

6:35

sudden it's like, things are pretty good. But

6:37

it was always the fear of what the

6:40

rest of your life is like if you quit. Well,

6:42

you can always start back. That's what

6:44

I tell myself. That's how

6:46

I could quit smoking, I swear to God, because I'm

6:48

like, you can stop a while

6:50

and then start again if you really

6:53

want to. Yeah, you just don't- you know, the line

6:55

is you don't drink for today. I don't drink today.

6:57

You know, who knows what will happen tomorrow? And then

7:00

tomorrow I'll say, well, I don't drink then. And

7:02

then all of a sudden you start racking up

7:04

the days. You know, pretty soon you

7:06

got months and then years. I'm not

7:08

at years yet, but you know, we'll

7:10

see. How long are you at? I think like you're liking

7:12

it and feeling good. I'm into my eighth month. That's

7:15

good. Yeah. So it's

7:17

good. But things

7:19

are going well. I am busy. What's

7:22

it like to like, I mean, because

7:24

we were talking before. I

7:26

mean, it's such a cultural shift and

7:28

nobody's talking about it because they don't

7:31

want to talk about anything real or

7:33

anything that they don't

7:35

want to define what's really

7:37

happening. But it's a huge

7:39

cultural shift that a conservative

7:42

comedy show and it is really well

7:44

written and really funny. And I like

7:46

that comics can say things on

7:48

there and they don't have to act like dunes.

7:51

You know, they aren't dancing with

7:54

hypodermic needles and shit like that.

7:56

But you know, you're saying something and

7:58

it's a cultural shift. shift because it's

8:01

more to the conservative side. And

8:03

these guys, I mean, they're

8:05

just drowning and unfunny. And they're

8:08

scared. They're scared. I do

8:10

think it all came down to speech because

8:12

think about the shift, the fact

8:14

that like, you're

8:17

no longer in this camp and

8:19

the show is successful and they

8:21

all have something in common. It's the freedom

8:23

to say what you want. And

8:26

once the left and liberals gave that

8:28

up, we snatched it. Yeah, we

8:30

did. We snatched it and we ran with

8:32

it. And you can tell how like

8:35

uncomfortable comedians of the

8:37

left are when they know that there's

8:39

a line, there's a line they can't

8:41

cross. Meanwhile, you and I, we can

8:43

say whatever we want and we share

8:45

the risk. You get in trouble. Yeah,

8:47

we do. You get in trouble. I

8:49

will defend you. If I get in trouble, I hope you, I

8:51

know you will. But I mean, you know what I mean? We

8:55

understand that we're here

8:57

to say what we think. And if that

8:59

goes away, what's left to do? Then

9:03

we'll be unfunny. Yeah. You

9:05

know what? It is like that we have the right to

9:07

punch up and they don't. They got to

9:09

the ceiling. It's kind of like a

9:11

glass ceiling or some other kind of ceiling where

9:13

they cannot punch up because

9:15

they're too scared. But then they

9:17

have to punch down. And

9:20

it's never funny to punch down. I

9:22

mean, sometimes it is. They accuse us

9:24

of punching down when we

9:26

go after any kind of

9:28

identity group, which I believe

9:30

is punching up. I do

9:32

too. Does anybody that professes

9:35

that they have a higher,

9:37

I don't know, they have rights because they're

9:40

victims. Well, they have the high moral

9:43

ground when they don't. Yes. And

9:45

so like, how dare you, you know, I do

9:47

a lot of stuff on trans and they go,

9:50

you're punching down. I go, no, I'm not. I'm

9:52

more right now, according to the left. That's right.

9:54

You know what I mean? If a man can

9:56

play, you know, go swimming against

9:58

women in college sports. I think

10:00

he has more rights. Well, a girl,

10:03

a man against girls. Exactly.

10:05

And it's like, so to me, it's like such

10:08

a continuation of the

10:11

worst of patriarchy that you

10:13

can come to. But they don't

10:15

even see it because they're so

10:17

brainwashed because the left really thinks

10:19

it controls thought and

10:21

language. And so all they do

10:23

is bomb it up meaningless bullshit

10:25

that nobody thinks it's funny. You

10:28

know who's the worst at this are

10:30

women. And you know

10:32

Michael Malice. You know Michael Malice, right? He

10:35

came up with this great acronym

10:37

called awful. Yeah, affluent white female

10:40

liberals. Women are so

10:42

quick to throw other women under the bus. Oh,

10:44

they can't wait. And it is. That's

10:46

what happened to me. Yeah, exactly. They're

10:48

like, Oh my God, they're always

10:50

clutching their pearls, even though they probably think

10:52

pearls are like patriarchal. And

10:55

then they will actually

10:58

indulge a man who has gynophilia.

11:01

He gets off on drugs. They

11:04

will say that that person has more rights than

11:07

the women. That's right. And

11:09

it's like, it's like, where are the female

11:11

teachers? Peepers. These guys are peepers.

11:13

Yes. A lot of them

11:15

are fucking peepers. That's what we used to call

11:17

them. Peeping Tom. Yeah. And they're

11:19

like, come on in. Peep this here. Yes. You're

11:23

not a peeping Tom. And then they're like, you're not having

11:25

a peeper. You transphobe. And

11:28

I'm like, you know what? It's just like,

11:30

okay, well, once we got COVID, do you

11:32

remember how there was no flu anymore? Right.

11:34

Well, now there's no more transvestite. There's

11:38

no more peepers. Remember, there's no more

11:40

exhibitions. There's only that.

11:42

No more purpose. The nudists must feel like

11:44

there's cultural appropriation going on. Think about that.

11:46

I remember growing up in the 70s. They

11:50

were always called transvestites or

11:52

cross dressers. Like

11:54

what? Corporal Clinger. Remember

11:57

Corporal Clinger from MASH? Yeah.

12:00

It's like now he's like, he

12:02

should be mad. Jamie Farr should be

12:04

upset. That now that- I

12:06

think he's flattered. Yeah. He thinks

12:09

that he's really started something. Yes.

12:12

The 70s had it down with that

12:14

stuff. Like Barney Miller had like a

12:16

great- That was a great show. Yeah.

12:19

They had like a great gay character. They had

12:21

always had- but now it's like everything is so

12:23

serious and solemn and like, you know- And not

12:26

funny. And not funny. The whole law

12:28

against whatever- and that's how I felt when

12:30

I went back to come back, you

12:32

know. It was like the

12:34

war against funny. Yeah. The

12:36

gauntlet against funny. That can't be

12:38

funny. You know, it's a gauntlet.

12:41

Yeah. And of course, I

12:43

fought and when we got laughs

12:45

until vanquished and vindicated.

12:48

But I mean, now it's like it

12:51

needs to be this. Hmm.

12:55

In lieu of a real belly

12:57

laugh. They hate it. It's like

12:59

when you now watch the- like, okay, in

13:01

the late- it's a late 70s. Watching

13:03

the Oscars was like a group thing. It

13:06

was fun. Now you watch it and you

13:08

can just feel the stress of

13:10

the people talking. Like they're

13:12

like, everybody has to be careful. And all

13:14

the nominees have to be a specific kind

13:16

of thing. And everybody is so

13:18

careful. It's like there is no joy. That

13:21

to me is the pinnacle of- yeah. The

13:23

joy is gone. The joy of comedy. The

13:26

joy of creating something. The

13:28

joy of when you got a good idea

13:30

and everybody's in on it. Like doing a

13:32

show. Yeah, exactly. Like the Mickey Rooney-ole thing

13:34

of let's put on a show. They

13:36

just killed that. Yeah. They

13:38

just murdered it in its crib. Yeah. And

13:41

they're just horrible. Yes. Frigging- oh,

13:43

they're horrible. You know? And

13:47

they hate it when they see success on

13:49

the other side. They

13:51

have to like- oh, they're things- oh, that's not funny. That's not funny.

13:54

Oh, you know, it was always conservatives

13:56

can't be funny. But now they won't even talk about

13:59

it. it. You

14:01

know, like Adam Carolla told me that it's

14:03

so personal over there on

14:05

the other side that they have to pretend

14:07

it doesn't exist. Yeah. Like

14:09

they've got horse blinders on. Yes. They

14:12

can't see. And of course, they've totally written me

14:14

out of the entire social. Yes.

14:18

You know, it's pretty amazing when they...

14:21

I did three guest spots on

14:24

the show The Office, you know? Oh, yeah.

14:27

And somebody just told me they wrote a

14:29

book about all the guests, people that guest

14:31

on how great they were as guest stars.

14:33

I'm not even mentioned. And I was on

14:35

three times. It's like she never existed, which

14:37

was how it was when I first came.

14:40

Yeah. It's like that woman, she's... Why

14:42

is she not serving us coffee and

14:44

she's criticizing our scripts? You

14:47

know, it was that kind of like

14:49

so arrogant in leadership. And you know

14:51

who made that decision. Okay.

14:54

It was a combination of like some young

14:56

person, like a Gen Z or somebody

14:59

who can't write and can't tell jokes,

15:01

but you know, makes themselves important by

15:03

making these decisions. Like you know what?

15:06

I think a lot of people, you

15:08

know, a lot of people might be

15:10

uncomfortable. That's exactly what they think. Yeah.

15:13

I think, you know, maybe, you know, maybe it wouldn't hurt to, you

15:15

know, I just want... No, you know what

15:17

the word is? I just want people to feel safe. Everybody

15:21

now has to feel safe. And

15:23

it's like they've ruined the phrase safe. Remember

15:26

when art was supposed

15:28

to be unsafe? Yeah, it's supposed to

15:30

make you think and feel and react.

15:32

I remember, like, you know, artists would

15:34

do terrible things, terrible things.

15:37

Now they're like, they have to like

15:39

make sure... There's a

15:42

play in England right now that has a

15:44

trigger warning against eating oranges. Did

15:46

you know this? Because the people

15:48

on stage are eating oranges.

15:51

It's a play about like transphobia.

15:53

It's a queer play, but they're

15:55

worried because the characters are eating

15:57

oranges that it might be... might

16:00

cause some kind of like PTSD.

16:02

What's the trigger of eating oranges?

16:05

It's called Mycophonia,

16:07

which is like you have

16:09

a fear

16:11

of hearing certain sounds. Oh yeah, that's like married women

16:13

with their husbands. I've heard of it. Like no, it's

16:15

the true thing like you want to hit your husband's

16:17

head when you hear him too. Is it that? Maybe,

16:20

but I think that they probably made

16:22

it something worth. I mean, I

16:25

don't like it when people know you want to

16:27

hit them. But like, that's like, if

16:29

you're going to a play and you can't

16:31

handle that. You can't handle watching

16:33

someone eat an orange. That

16:35

makes me applaud for

16:38

the possibility of the

16:40

hydrogen bomb drop. Do

16:42

you think John Waters could make his

16:44

old movie like Pink Flamingos or anything

16:46

like that? I mean, maybe he could. I mean,

16:49

they're more relevant now than ever. Anything

16:51

he ever did is so relevant. Yeah,

16:53

female trouble. Yeah. Yeah,

16:55

female trouble, desperate living. They were

16:58

all. We showed them to our

17:00

kids. Desperate living I saw when

17:02

I was nine years old. We've

17:04

made our show. He's the same

17:06

person. Yeah. No, he smokes like

17:08

five packs of cools a day.

17:11

Isn't that incredible? I used to smoke that

17:13

much. Yeah. And when we hung

17:15

out, it was just a shitty need of

17:17

gas masks. But I

17:19

love him. I hope he'll do something really

17:21

offensive to shake people. Who would have thought

17:24

that hairspray would be the thing that

17:26

probably made him incredibly rich, right? Like

17:28

a musical, you

17:30

know, I guess that was what it

17:32

was a movie and then a musical about hairspray.

17:34

Yeah, but it was cute. Yeah, yeah,

17:36

that he'd be remembered for cute.

17:38

Exactly. They only knew. That

17:42

must torture him. Really

17:45

much. He's so

17:47

funny, though. He's great. I

17:49

love all his. That's my dream. And I

17:51

did talk to him about it way back

17:53

about my dream is to see the

17:56

girl not whatever I want

17:58

to make a movie like that. Yeah

18:00

about my childhood I just want to make

18:02

a movie and I was just talking to

18:04

people that have made movies about

18:07

you should make a movie about Your life

18:10

Right. Yeah, you know Nobody

18:12

would believe it. Yeah, but it's being

18:15

come on. I mean, it's like every

18:17

it's so many twists and turns Yeah,

18:20

and it's it's like, you know,

18:22

throw me crazy. Was that show

18:24

the Marvelous Miss Maisel? Oh,

18:26

yeah, she was a writer of mine. Yeah Oh Wait

18:30

the girl that made it. Yeah. Oh Then

18:33

I won't put it I was gonna say that the comic

18:36

wasn't funny to me. Oh, I

18:39

don't even know I was like Well,

18:41

she was Amy was a good

18:43

writer. Yeah, I did probably you know what?

18:46

It's that weird. Well, you know how they do It's

18:48

the serious thing. They're like, I

18:50

mean this how I think well because they don't

18:52

have the people they don't have any sense of

18:55

humor They don't like comedy.

18:57

They hate they hate

18:59

humor even more than they hate

19:01

comedy and they hate witty They

19:04

hate and they hate Funny

19:07

that's intelligent. They really despise that cuz

19:09

I don't get it, but they

19:11

don't get anything above a base joke

19:13

Anyway, so they're probably like I Don't

19:17

laugh. So it's their fault. Yeah, so

19:19

you can't have them and anyway, we

19:21

want somebody that looks like a model

19:23

Yeah, have you lost any comedian friends from

19:26

old from the old days who won't

19:28

talk to you or anything? Oh, yeah

19:31

All the women yeah, of course, but

19:33

of course. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm not

19:37

Some but yeah, I mean, yeah,

19:39

I mean they painted I mean

19:45

This is something I'm in the middle of

19:47

now looking at how they do How

19:50

they weave a whole spell around people and

19:52

they get they get a Target

19:55

and then they weave a whole but

19:57

you know, oh do

20:01

something with it. Everybody's talking about doing something

20:03

and I don't know if I want to

20:06

but maybe I will. But you know, who

20:08

knows? I'm old now so I don't know.

20:10

You can do whatever you want. You can

20:13

do whatever the fuck you want. Well

20:15

I kind of want to do this. I

20:17

kind of wrote this sitcom for myself,

20:19

you know. And I

20:22

was visiting an idol of mine

20:24

yesterday which is the first time

20:27

I had met her. Anyway,

20:29

so we were... Did you say

20:31

who it was? Well it was Elaine

20:33

May. Oh wow. Oh my god it

20:35

was awesome. They say she never invites

20:38

anybody and she invited me. How was

20:40

she? Well, as I asked her, she said she's

20:42

not at Liberty

20:45

to say. But

20:49

she invented a whole genre of comedy

20:51

which I thanked her on behalf of all my

20:53

friend comics. She

20:55

introduced, you know, that whole

20:58

improv. Yeah. She and Mike Nicholson.

21:00

You know how that just changed generations

21:03

forever and she's still so

21:05

funny. And so it was watching her

21:07

movies and all like that and she said just get

21:09

a guy with a camera. And

21:12

then we were talking about well when you're

21:14

funny and you can see funny and you

21:16

can write funny, you don't really need

21:18

more than a guy with a camera because

21:21

you start thinking, oh I need the staff

21:23

and the producers. That's where it goes bad.

21:25

Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Is

21:29

the funny that you're doing. Now

21:32

I know that we were

21:34

doing our research on you and we knew that

21:36

you were at Berkeley and that's when you started

21:38

to... I mean there's two streams that I want

21:40

to talk to you about. One is waking up

21:42

from being at Berkeley and

21:44

realizing that you're at Berkeley. And

21:47

two, then becoming like who

21:49

you are now because you went

21:52

to men's editing magazine. Yeah,

21:54

I was a... Well,

21:56

I mean first I was a romantic loser.

22:00

liberal because it got you a lot of

22:02

attention and extra credit. I remember

22:04

when I was in high school, if

22:08

we got signatures for the nuclear freeze

22:10

in California, we could get extra credit.

22:13

That's what I did at my high school. And

22:16

then so I wanted to go to Berkeley,

22:18

and of course, when I got there, my

22:20

romantic view of liberalism was

22:22

faced with the reality of it. And

22:26

I saw them up close, and I

22:28

go, my God, these people are crazy.

22:31

They were crazy. And also,

22:33

I started meeting people that weren't

22:35

like, that actually

22:38

read. And I realized I wasn't reading a

22:40

lot. And I started reading

22:42

National Review and this other magazine called American

22:44

Spectator, which I ended up working for for

22:46

like a year. And

22:48

I just started to kind of educate myself

22:50

on a world that I didn't know existed.

22:54

I just thought liberalism was all there is.

22:56

I didn't even like, even with Ronald Reagan,

22:58

I just thought he was

23:00

a president. I didn't understand if what, like

23:02

my parents probably voted for him, but they were

23:05

Democrats. But I didn't really know

23:07

that there was much difference. I thought that there

23:09

is any more really than for Trump. But I

23:11

mean, it's like, there was, you

23:13

know, I didn't think much about

23:16

it. I remember when Reagan won

23:18

in 1984, a guy

23:21

came back, I was living in a fraternity, and

23:23

he was screaming with joy. And

23:25

I was like, what's the big deal? I didn't

23:27

even understand it. And it wasn't until later that

23:29

it started to put it together. And I started

23:32

to think for myself, and I started

23:34

reading. And then I started to

23:36

realize that the reason why I held liberal

23:38

beliefs was because they were easy. And

23:41

they made me look smarter than I was. And

23:44

the false compassion of it all, like

23:46

to pretend that you care. Yeah, I

23:48

realized I realized this with liberal compassion,

23:51

is that it's the opposite because it never factors

23:53

in the consequences

23:55

for the other people. So

23:58

like you can say your compassion about. trans

24:00

athletes, but you're actually

24:02

not compassion to the other athletes, but

24:04

you don't address that. And

24:07

if you look at immigration, I am compassionate about

24:09

those claiming asylum to come across, but

24:11

you're not actually compassionate to all the

24:13

people where the jobs are being displaced

24:15

or the people that waited in line

24:17

did all the right things. So you

24:19

ignore, they don't understand the

24:22

consequences of their so-called compassion.

24:24

Crime, I'm for criminal

24:26

justice reform. No bail. No bail.

24:29

And then when they hear that the recidivist has

24:32

then committed eight more crimes and beat up women,

24:34

you don't look at that. So

24:36

I started to learn that there was a whole

24:38

other side to my beliefs that I hadn't looked

24:40

at. That changed me.

24:42

In terms of magazines. That would be like, that's

24:47

kind of an awakening and an

24:49

expansion of a moral

24:51

view, isn't it? Yes. And

24:54

I didn't have that before. And

24:56

so I swung

24:59

from one end to the other. And

25:02

then I started becoming a crazy little

25:04

right winger. I

25:07

went to an animal rights concert

25:10

where the B-52s were playing and I

25:12

was handing out stickers that

25:15

said nuke the whales. There

25:18

was a one that said, you know

25:20

how they have I Heart Baby Seals?

25:23

It was the club from I Club

25:25

Baby. So

25:27

I kind of probably went a little too far. But

25:31

that was in DC when I was an intern. And

25:33

then I ended up writing, trying to

25:36

learn to write for magazines and stuff. I

25:40

ended up as the fitness editor of Prevention

25:42

Magazine. I don't know if you remember Prevention.

25:45

And then from there I hopped over to Men's Health, became

25:48

the editor. I was fired from there

25:50

after doing a piece called

25:52

The Best Colleges for Men. This is

25:54

like 1990, 2000. And

25:59

we were... seeing how things

26:02

were changing against

26:04

kids' voice. And so- That's

26:07

about the year where people started talking about

26:09

it too. Yeah. And so I said,

26:12

I think the worst college for men, I

26:15

can't remember what it was, but it turned out

26:17

to be the CEO's alma mater. Oh, no.

26:19

So I was done. And then I went to Stuff Magazine,

26:21

was the editor there, moved to

26:23

Maxim in the UK, and then I ended up

26:25

kind of coming back and ended

26:27

up as working at Red Eye. In between there,

26:29

I was doing a lot of other weird things,

26:32

but Red Eye was my first TV show, didn't

26:34

know what the fuck I was doing. I had

26:37

no idea. Fox basically

26:39

said, I showed up there and

26:41

they said, so we're going to do

26:43

a show. And I thought, I think they're like three months. And

26:45

they go, yeah, so you're going to rehearse for a couple of

26:47

days, and then we're going to go live on Monday. I was

26:51

shitting myself. I

26:54

was drinking during

26:56

the rehearsals, drinking before the

26:58

show, drinking after the show. Me and the

27:00

other panelists would go to this bar and

27:02

we'd be like, what are we doing? And

27:05

then within five months, it

27:07

became something like fun. It

27:10

was like all of a sudden we

27:12

figured it out. You're not supposed to

27:14

care. Right. You're not supposed to care.

27:16

Why do you care? Who cares if

27:18

you screw up? That's part of

27:20

the show. And then all of a sudden

27:23

it became such a weird cult phenomenon. And

27:25

we started getting numbers. We were

27:27

beating Morning Joe. I remember that. At

27:29

three in the morning, we were beating Morning Joe at MSNBC,

27:32

which is on at nine. And

27:35

we started just getting... That's amazing.

27:37

That's college kids, right? Yeah. And

27:39

also like Insomniacs, truck drivers.

27:42

I remember our

27:45

core audience was like breastfeeders. I'm

27:48

sorry, chestfeeders. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

27:51

They were doing that in the demographic. Yeah. But

27:53

it was... And then it started at five and

27:55

it was like Ales was like, put the guy

27:57

in there. Maybe see what happens. You

28:00

know, it was, you know, it just

28:02

fucking took off. That thing was like crazy.

28:04

Yeah, that was crazy. And it's like, yeah,

28:06

and then I got my show on the

28:08

weekends and then that became nightly. And

28:11

I didn't, you know, it's funny, I've got to talk about

28:13

this because I did not want to do

28:15

the nightly show because I was already doing the five

28:17

and the weekly show. I didn't want to target on

28:19

my back. This is like 2017. Well,

28:21

hey, 20, no, maybe it's like 2020. And

28:26

I was like, I didn't want, I

28:29

didn't want the, I was, I was making decent money.

28:32

I had enough work to do. You mean to go

28:34

into late night? Yeah, yeah, I was just going to do

28:36

my show. Yeah, you thought it was

28:38

going to be like a Joan Rivers thing. Remember how

28:40

they tried to kill her for late

28:42

night? Yeah, but also everybody was every,

28:45

it was cancel culture. And

28:47

I remember telling the boss, I go like, I don't think,

28:49

you know, I'm going to think about it. And

28:52

I talked to one late night host, Dennis

28:54

Miller, and he said, Greg, you got a good thing going.

28:56

Don't you blah, blah, blah. And he convinced me, don't do

28:59

it. And then I called Tucker

29:01

and I go, yeah, Tucker. Oh,

29:03

I'd already made up my mind. It wasn't doing it. I'm

29:06

not doing the show. And something

29:08

made me think I should

29:10

just call Tucker. I go, Hey, Tucker. I go, so

29:12

Fox offered me this nightly thing and he

29:15

goes, you got to do it. You have

29:17

to do it. You

29:19

have to do it. And I

29:21

go, but I think you have to do,

29:23

you have, oh, this is great. And

29:26

I'm like, I already made up my mind. I'm

29:28

supposed to tell them on Monday. That was

29:30

on a Friday. And he completely turned me

29:32

around. And he was like, what do

29:34

you, why are you, why are you even hesitating?

29:37

And I was trying to explain to him and he goes, who cares?

29:40

Like, who cares? Just

29:42

do it. And then I just go,

29:44

my God, he's right. And it just like, it was

29:46

like, I needed somebody to just kick me in the

29:48

face. Yeah. And cause he, like, he has

29:51

that energy. He has, you

29:53

know, he's fearless. And I

29:55

just, sometimes you need somebody to

29:57

kind of like transfuse their fearlessness.

29:59

this into you and that's

30:01

what happened and then I was like, you know

30:04

what? If people

30:06

come after me, people come after me.

30:08

And then like, and then we went out all

30:11

to the wall, rude, unapologetic.

30:13

And there was nothing people could do about

30:15

it. Right. You know, when you do that,

30:18

when you, when you say fuck them, you

30:20

just like. Yeah. Well,

30:23

it gets funny. So I thought I was going

30:25

to ask you about, but you'd never stand up

30:27

or any of that kind of stuff. No, it

30:30

doesn't make sense to me how you went from

30:32

just a regular and then get

30:34

funny, funny, funny without stand

30:37

up. I think it was from, I've been

30:39

asked this from editorial meetings and magazines when

30:41

we would meet and to discuss ideas. So

30:43

you'd have like six or seven people there.

30:45

I would run these meetings and it'd be

30:47

like, what do you think Steve? And we're

30:50

talking about something and we would just go

30:52

and we'd spend hours doing this to do

30:54

a monthly magazine and, and there would be

30:56

cover lines coming up. I think

30:58

a lot of it came from those meetings

31:00

because I, you know, I do stand

31:02

up now on the shows, but I

31:04

like, I, you know, it just, you

31:07

know, I never thought I, I, I, I

31:09

love standup comedians. I mean, I could,

31:11

I mean, I was like, that's

31:13

all I watch on the Tonight Show. You

31:16

know, I was at Tonight Show Freak, a Letterman

31:18

Freak, all of that, but I just never thought

31:20

I could do, I, that would be my

31:22

thing. I was a writer. I was somebody that

31:24

like writes funny stuff or I'm going to

31:27

write a novel. And, and then

31:29

this just kind of happened. Uh, and

31:31

it just kept moving toward it. And

31:33

it, and then it just turned into this thing, you

31:36

know, are you so like, you must

31:38

be so gratified. Oh, I am. I

31:40

am. Just, it's so, first of all, it's

31:42

unheard of. It's amazing. It's a

31:45

huge victory against everything that

31:47

we all hate. Yes. It's, it's,

31:49

it's a, I have to

31:51

stop and think about it's not just a show.

31:53

It's a show that so

31:55

many people wanted to stop. Yeah. So

31:58

it's, it's like, it's more than. success

32:00

in a way. It's a victory and

32:03

also I forget that I

32:06

talked about this like we

32:08

talked about this with Breitbart when he was alive

32:10

about like you know there needs to be this

32:12

thing. There needs to be this thing. I didn't

32:14

know that it was gonna be me. I mean

32:17

Red Eye, we tried to do that but we

32:21

assumed that like we're on a 3 a.m.

32:23

when nobody watches. This is like a ghetto.

32:28

But it was actually, Ailes

32:30

was really smart. He put me

32:32

in a place to fail where

32:35

I could fail every night and then over

32:37

time I got comfortable and it's

32:39

like I was doing open mic nights. Yeah,

32:42

I developed. That's so unheard of

32:44

on television. It's unheard of. I

32:46

don't know how many shows. Like seven years

32:48

maybe I think I was doing Red Eye

32:51

and then the five overlap and it

32:53

was like I got the best training and

32:55

now I can talk and

32:57

I can think. On my feet

32:59

I still write a lot of notes but that's

33:02

because I have like I have to have some

33:04

kind of substance about the topic but

33:06

it's like sometimes I rely on it too much

33:08

but it's like you know I think you

33:11

know it's it's it

33:13

happened at the pace that it was supposed

33:16

to happen. Yeah. You know I didn't get

33:18

there too soon. I didn't get there too late. Yeah.

33:20

You know and it's been great and also I

33:22

have great time. Tyrus is amazing. Yeah, they're amazing.

33:25

Yeah. I mean they're an amazing forum

33:28

for any comment that goes on there.

33:30

Yeah. You have there's such different

33:32

people. You got Kat who's

33:34

this like sly you know

33:37

obviously libertarian but just also

33:39

just kind of adorable. I

33:41

like how witty she is. We don't get to

33:43

see witty women

33:45

on TV ever anymore.

33:48

She is hysterical and of course Tyrus is like

33:51

he's like a sage you

33:53

know it's like you know people don't you know if

33:55

they don't if they just look at him

33:57

they do to me the wrestler for the dude just drops a

33:59

lot. of wisdom. Well,

34:02

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34:04

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Lol or. Even. Better and cel sound

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better. Sales. And

37:09

a psychic? Wow, I didn't think that I

37:11

think these are on the spot on He:

37:14

Oh yeah. He does show up

37:16

for yeah, exactly a desert person that

37:18

was. I probably didn't in and to

37:20

be. Doing. This. Yeah.

37:22

You know it's crazy. I. Didn't talk to

37:25

him about standup. He said he had done.

37:27

Yet. He's doing it. Yeah, I mean, he's now

37:30

doing these live shows. And. I

37:32

but he does it his way, you

37:34

know? and army rights. You. Know

37:36

he writes his jokes. It's like it's a. Pretty

37:39

ballsy to, but then again, professional wrestlers

37:41

are performers. Yeah, you know they are.

37:43

You gotta be smart. You. Have

37:45

to be really smart to axes oldest story

37:48

and your head. Your. Time

37:50

it so it develops and then also like.

37:52

A Physical. Yeah, I don't know how they

37:55

do. That. Are No. I think they have

37:57

to rehearse a lot. Yeah, I mean. All those

37:59

guys are so. Art. Mean the rock is

38:01

smart. Trying to think of others

38:03

and walking into a a dead end

38:06

node I am in both rogan a

38:08

gas mask city things call it home

38:10

was the government. Does ventura

38:12

his genius. Yeah and on whatever happened to

38:14

but they do things called polls busy work

38:16

via the customer carnivals. To the

38:18

of codes when they're on the ring of

38:20

brought a word or something they know what

38:23

you it's it's symbiosis. Me because they can

38:25

time as old as if a move that

38:27

they don't know they'll call it the be

38:29

like we're going to do the for four

38:31

seven and then they know what to do.

38:33

Have you seen the movie Ricky cynically yet

38:36

know it's a it's a fairly sure know

38:38

I have seen It needs a fuckin.enough' to

38:40

is so forth and Marina it is. Now

38:42

you're in my view of book one of

38:44

the funniest mail auditors of the United States.

38:46

Coming is also a professional. Wrestler the Enemy

38:48

or professor at know he's a bit of a

38:51

he's Huge. Yes, Yana sprung. Up in bed with

38:53

naked on the hot. Sauce and have

38:55

any as really funny. The movie with what's

38:57

her name that will Tina Fey was like

38:59

some. I she was having sex with

39:01

and he was whole mm to the movie new

39:04

get his brilliant yes I know it out. What

39:06

I didn't either yeah is if they they have

39:08

some see of Allen. You. Know? absolutely.

39:10

I love wrestling. I've. Want. To ask

39:12

you about your writing process because

39:14

I'm nosy? Yeah, what do you

39:16

do? You're really? ah. Regimented.

39:19

And you pretty much anything every day.

39:21

Yeah this is come through. Yep, you don't

39:24

dislike. That they're like me and go. I have to

39:26

clean the house first and then I'll get an idea.

39:28

Is that I do that with books? But.

39:30

With with saw the show. I

39:32

get up every morning. Ah,

39:35

Have two cups of coffee, And.

39:37

Right arm of the it also be the phones

39:39

help now because if you have an idea he

39:41

hit the thing and he and it's that say

39:43

it's like I'd I would. If. I

39:45

come up with an idea. I. Have

39:47

something to put it down on before. I don't

39:49

know how many ideas I lost because of that

39:52

swimming you would like they said at night you

39:54

see could have the greatest idea ever and they

39:56

didn't write it down and or a.i've bar now

39:58

I now I got it. but I. Right

40:00

age to right on the stair climber. At

40:02

Equinox I'd have a clipboard and I would

40:04

just right. Like. This and it

40:07

would have to pass the time and I

40:09

would write all my monologues like that. Now

40:11

I get up in the morning I write

40:13

all the stop a put it together ice

40:15

I'll send an idea off to somebody who

40:18

who put a body together to hide. Now

40:20

I have help on my monologues to write

40:22

like the basics and then I just added

40:24

for hours on end and write jokes in

40:26

Joe Mackey into Devito the right The jokes

40:29

I saw the Guy day and right stuff.

40:31

And we just we have the tiniest staff.

40:34

An. Arm and then. You just you.

40:36

just get up Matt. Blow it's. Yeah.

40:38

Years com a just for us because it

40:40

was. You don't have to do because you've

40:42

got some muscle work. We get the as

40:44

it's been. I've been doing that every day

40:46

As him as a magazine writer I didn't

40:48

have the a lot of a bad way

40:50

thing a magazine writer is pretty lazy if

40:53

you emanate like would he do right to

40:55

articles a month but back then I'd get

40:57

up every morning and I bright little bits

40:59

for prevention. These little help from the typical

41:01

held France or hundred and twenty one words

41:03

are in. I put up the right job

41:05

and Pollard doctor sums up the call to

41:07

doctors, interviewed them, transcribes. Also transcribing help because

41:09

I could I could listen and then

41:11

write it. and now I write every

41:13

like that would. Now when I just

41:15

listen to anybody I will write such.

41:17

You'll see me and the five. I'm

41:19

blown away and Iowa they are always

41:21

do and yeah Answer saga. It's something

41:23

that. Like hurt. Somebody said that

41:26

it when you're. Writing. Or

41:28

was you're seeking a thought. Writing.

41:30

It down the more muscles the to

41:32

you Yes the more likely you will

41:34

like warm it. Read it and so

41:37

I always write it down even if

41:39

it's stupid sometimes. I. Won't have

41:41

an idea at all and I'll just start

41:43

writing and it'll to somehow com our that

41:45

is that weird with now that happens we'll

41:48

things yeah it's is freaky. And sometimes

41:50

it'll be like your they're really long

41:52

time and then it is assange. Is

41:54

saying is something. Something that

41:56

can't describe but beta in there.

41:58

editing. Is a lotta one. Com gotten

42:00

you know it's and work day them at yeah

42:02

it's great when you have like a split save

42:04

as much writing. Then somehow you edit

42:06

it and something happens. You just lose half

42:08

of it and it's I am and like

42:10

sign that far yet a cloud our eyes

42:13

for a more in his i spotted sites.

42:15

it's I am. It's like this thing and

42:17

no one else has done it. But.

42:19

No one else has sparked a given some of

42:21

the thought no one else came up with in

42:23

their stride. Billion people and you're like it's I

42:25

start to me is such that is like a

42:28

real buzz and I get so hyped on it

42:30

and and then I get into a groove and

42:32

then when I get to were. All

42:34

edit. Non. Stop because

42:36

any tummies now? More fun. Like how

42:38

do you get something smaller? I didn't

42:40

get it yet. It's so much insect

42:43

it's that applies. Concise, concise is yeah.

42:45

Yeah, and it's got it still. even if

42:47

it's just a joke, it still has at

42:49

the beginning middle and taunt exactly. It's gonna

42:51

go in a loop and then go left

42:53

instead. Awry. Yeah. It's fun The

42:56

World Bank. The worst thing is

42:58

when. I have a great job

43:00

and I fucked up the delivery I now

43:02

and I'm like and I'm when I do

43:04

the show. I. Don't stop down

43:06

and do it over again because I disco

43:08

know I just have it. I

43:10

just have to live with it. And.

43:13

You know that's it. and and maybe

43:15

people won't notice. most people don't but

43:17

I did. In I feel like like

43:20

L A where I have a word

43:22

that would drive me crazy. Yeah,

43:24

yep, big bring it back in a

43:26

couple night exaggerated, get at me and

43:28

say man, Laurie metcalf say or do

43:30

that with. Tries to

43:33

align covers such world that we

43:35

said. Like I'm. Trapped.

43:42

Down and you're going like this. I'm

43:44

making on a major yes I know

43:46

that he like nine hundred and off

43:48

the air with. A political and

43:50

religious aspect. It it. it's for of

43:53

offseason one. It's like. Fallen.

43:55

Over a word as the timing matter.

43:57

Saw my mom and it's You always

43:59

know it's. We're. I.

44:01

Get. Mad I get like I will

44:04

scold the audience if it doesn't work.

44:06

It was a great joke. With.

44:08

You there was a it was an ass. There was a. Of

44:10

a trans male athlete. This is in with

44:12

a new story. Who. Was showering

44:15

in dressing with the girls and

44:17

a girl was there and he

44:19

was caught is still staring at

44:21

her breasts. This was a new

44:23

story. And. The.

44:25

Joke Trying to remember the joke? Those. In

44:27

his defense he said that he was

44:30

staring at her breast so he he

44:32

would lose his boehner insist that process

44:34

at. The

44:37

soon as far. I

44:40

I'm know what it was like a tiny

44:42

to swear it's just lay there and it's

44:45

like I was I go duke and I'm

44:47

yelling at the audience that think it's Ides

44:49

on the show and good you surprised that

44:51

was the best jokes and it was a

44:53

joke. Like. It was a joke

44:55

that was like. Workshop. Between

44:57

me and as he was Joe

44:59

Mackey. And. I don't even remember how

45:02

it just like it. Then beheaded is in

45:04

it was x to lose. The Boehner was

45:06

like that is just really it. As. It

45:08

gets checked at Kids Against

45:10

India and I like my

45:13

I saw that I. Tried

45:15

this for years and it never it were. My

45:17

son has said it that way. I.

45:20

Should have said that first. I

45:22

thought this was so funny. And

45:24

ever did was massive. But.

45:27

Ah, It. Just cracks

45:29

me up fell of thing get all biggest

45:31

bank of our each other. But.

45:33

Anyway, I go. I you know that thing

45:35

where they gov. I. Complained because

45:38

I had no shoes. You

45:40

know how? Yeah? Yeah yeah okay my with. I

45:43

complained. Because I had an

45:45

issue. That then. I met

45:47

a woman who had no way. I

45:51

don't know why that is. I

45:53

don't know the permanence that stuff. Is

45:56

because I was either set up in no

45:58

way. I

46:01

don't about you guys have to reduce

46:03

the deficit. That's fit. To

46:06

that that's inside Steven Wright territory. And

46:09

oh my God. Why is he? I

46:11

think it's I saw him on something.

46:13

He might have a. Especially.

46:16

The combat yeah he was immediately crazy.

46:19

Oh god he was great. He was

46:21

cute, wrote like the perfect just joke.

46:23

Also of those you can view the

46:26

best yeah I think the best was

46:28

Norm Macdonald on Imam. Yeah. Nobody's

46:30

ever gonna be that funny. How.

46:32

And he was one of us. He was

46:34

a lot right? I mean he was not

46:36

a liberal and it was at i out

46:38

get. When. He. Complimented

46:41

me on twitter and I thought I thought

46:43

I was gonna pass out. As. He

46:45

he and and I I took a. I

46:47

went to see him at Paramount Theater New

46:49

York and I'm sitting on a on a

46:51

train with my buddy. as he's

46:53

on the same training area bar here and

46:56

we just sat and we hung out the

46:58

entire night I went backstage with him, he

47:00

just sat the green room and then we

47:02

hung out the night after and just and

47:04

then we took the train back together and

47:07

he got yelled at by the arm. With

47:09

the. Doctor and other people because he

47:11

was so loud because he gambles

47:13

on this phone right it? He

47:15

was like watching these games and

47:17

just like intense screaming and like

47:20

people are like. I'm playing in

47:22

the open. The shot. Up. Dot I miss him

47:24

and he had the best. I still

47:26

watch All. I still watch everything. I.

47:28

Am Sam is pointed out Albany? I

47:30

don't Oh my God. Some of them

47:32

were so dry and rude. Or. Arm

47:35

one he was an assassin our doing

47:37

the news for other. Whether yeah, so

47:39

there's a bastion of and they hated

47:41

it so bad he got fired. Brodie

47:43

joke than Hillary job. Of. The

47:45

land know is Joe. Yeah. No

47:47

said we'd with with he did the view

47:50

with this is a shit an automobile yeah

47:52

they didn't know what to do with it

47:54

is the best Really Like I thought everyone

47:56

knew that she murdered ago as the greatest

47:58

thing I've ever seen as. Democrats

48:00

are. Oh yeah on a

48:02

murder and the way it as

48:05

as he was very he was

48:07

great in Hulu the afternoon are

48:09

able to see. I. Had no idea

48:11

he was sick. He didn't. Tell anybody I

48:13

guess he killed a few. Yeah, now I

48:15

was like I remember I was. Mad at

48:17

him because I go. I left a message.

48:20

Norm. He can travel for

48:22

I was com and gone is it's funny

48:24

I do those reality my friends and then

48:26

they don't take my calls anymore. Up there

48:28

are certain number. They. Get tired of it.

48:31

but I thought he had gone into

48:33

that friend zone or whatever is. Yeah,

48:35

he won't listen. You tell them my

48:37

food norm, you're not gonna turn into

48:39

the guy that doesn't call me back

48:41

as I bother you too much are

48:43

you. In. A The stairs. And.

48:46

Or even know he was. say i'm a

48:48

slight son of a bitch sending all mean.

48:51

He yet i guess he just like

48:53

he was a of up that while

48:55

he's a was it really private person

48:57

didn't want anybody to know if you

48:59

look great when. When.

49:02

On that. On. That trip. But.

49:05

I just thought maybe I'd never saw I've never

49:07

seen him before so I just i always just

49:09

looks this ways but he didn't look healthy but

49:11

I didn't have a I didn't have a clue

49:13

and it was yet that he's the only person

49:15

would who with he died I had it's Axed.

49:18

So. Many people because we were

49:20

all like which something was stolen.

49:22

As I go with salvia, something was

49:24

stolen from you and it's not fair.

49:26

You know it's I got. Somebody.

49:30

With so unexpected. Yeah. And

49:32

he was just he had the best. We.

49:34

Had the best trump to Eagles.

49:38

He said apple pie. Do it right. He goes

49:40

as. People.

49:43

Hated Hillary Cel back Did you are

49:45

this? Don't. I think so. but I thought of

49:47

it. People. Hated Hillary so

49:49

bad that they voted for

49:51

a guy they hated. Even

49:53

worse, just Fps. After.

49:59

A hundred. If you're an advantage, resent

50:01

you. Prefer.

50:03

What? It what do you think the big

50:05

thing that you should tackle next as I

50:08

mean if I sit not fear and eyes

50:10

junior hell late night. And I

50:12

knew that everything socked. And

50:14

that it's just get worse and I have

50:16

to do suck My help, my country and

50:18

the people. And off their ah, it

50:20

was Allied Air. It's like defeats. It

50:23

is incredible. It's a I'm actually more

50:25

angry at the media because of it's

50:27

because the media's supposed to be. So

50:29

it's like you should be going after

50:32

these alphabet institution Cia and be Us

50:34

ally. Yeah, the like. It's like like

50:36

what happened to all the President's Men

50:38

Vi and all of those movies of

50:40

the Seven where the journalists were fearless

50:42

and now what's actually happening and they're

50:45

part of it. Yeah, they're part of

50:47

it. It's like we. You do realize

50:49

that they're trying to put him in

50:51

jail to win an election. And

50:53

then you don't even brought like. A good

50:55

fight in the Biden Harris camp. Hosted.

50:58

On acts like they were boasting about how

51:00

much money they raised and how much money

51:02

he has to pay for Lawyers durante the

51:04

hiding what they're doing. You know

51:06

it's is in as it's like. And

51:09

Night live skit a lot and it

51:11

has gone on as and I about

51:13

terror. What's left of my horrible fair

51:15

do our added drug by her accent

51:17

is tragic. But. I'm. I

51:20

go on there and I just it

51:22

makes me get like an ulcer because

51:24

they're. Proud. Of our they are.

51:27

Destroying. Our country. Our

51:29

laws. They're. Proud that there

51:31

were embark Think for ruff Law against

51:33

the ball yes said a Ruining people's

51:36

lives were no fucking reasons. I love

51:38

it here in hush money I'm pretty.

51:40

Sure is not illegal. Like

51:42

paying somebody not to say something. I don't

51:45

think that's against the law, Smith and in.

51:47

I don't think anybody ever wrote like this

51:49

is for hush money on anything so it's

51:51

been done over and over again. But I

51:53

don't think there's a lot like you're under

51:56

arrest or paying this person. That was good

51:58

sign. I don't often encounter. Hey,

52:00

don't tell my wife I slept with his

52:02

any your mouth. Is. That that's

52:04

appears that thousand dollars that's not against the

52:07

law. Know that's not against the law. So

52:09

he wanted to be in. I know they're

52:11

going. It will use campaign funds or webbys.

52:13

That's still not enough to law firm it's

52:16

but. It's is

52:18

is it is also like that I

52:20

could say excuse. Yes, it would that. I was

52:22

going to say it's like you look, it's okay. January

52:24

six they went to Fox would appear that to

52:27

help with the people that are in jail. After

52:29

the riots in the looting and what

52:32

we're seeing in New York City like

52:34

there are grandmother's in jail because they

52:36

prayed it's been a capital. And

52:38

the end. There are people that are nine,

52:41

ten, twelve times arrested. Let out it's up

52:43

Chicks and you know what I hear? It's

52:45

so clear that they are targeting. They

52:48

are on t people there hunting

52:50

i your republicans if you're if

52:52

you're. If you're not a liberal,

52:54

you are being hunted whether you're in

52:56

the media or entertainment, or you just

52:59

somebody. In. A fucking trailer park?

53:01

don't see cnn. Will they hate Trump

53:03

voters? Yeah that now I think they're

53:05

gonna go all in on the Rfk

53:07

bothers to yes our family ball up

53:09

at yeah it's like. Well where bring

53:11

and these people are replace you were going.

53:13

To put y'all and camp? Yeah or bring. These

53:16

people can now Malt or Oscars. We

53:18

have to stay Is we're not going

53:20

to jail? Yeah, yeah, We live. We

53:22

hate Americans. We. Hate Americans. Ma'am of

53:24

them are gonna vote for sending more gas. So

53:26

f the lab all the criminals and bring in.

53:29

The people from other countries I saw in

53:31

we when we did this on the five

53:33

we showed. I'd. In speaking

53:35

to you division. And

53:38

it was about what he was saying, but

53:40

I couldn't help. He looked. Yeah.

53:42

I mean this is the worst he's ever looked

53:45

so I'm thinking okay so he's sitting next to

53:47

soon as big interview He must have some makeup

53:49

on T looks. Like. A is it

53:51

would eighty one or eighty some like that On

53:53

the way he looks like a bad eighty. You're

53:56

like you'd like he died like it's not good.

53:58

Know it's not good enough. Ending Cycle. And

54:01

I'm going okay. even if I love this

54:03

guy. let's say I was provided I would

54:05

be like, you can't Do this Yeah, you

54:07

can't do that. Someone is limbs. Yeah, yeah,

54:09

You gotta stop this. This this. this. This

54:12

is bad for him and add to the

54:14

country. Even if I believed in him which

54:16

I don't all have, everything is doing is

54:18

on the orders of somebody else. I came

54:20

up with this line on the five yesterday.

54:22

Rice said just because they say they're against

54:24

it doesn't mean they're behind it. It

54:27

all at not sure yet. like

54:29

a crime. immigration nobody. nobody's gonna

54:31

say there for squatting. Within.

54:33

But some blonde hair behind it? Yeah,

54:35

it's rather say I'd I'd like to.

54:37

I'm not. I'm not for an open

54:39

border but you're a hind it And

54:41

it's the keep us occupied so we

54:43

can't do anything else we gotta keep.

54:45

We gotta hate each other. We gotta

54:47

be in this mental pay. Ah so

54:50

we can't do anything. And As

54:52

and that is, by the way. Lawfare is

54:54

that way to keep this guy occupy, keep

54:56

him busy or break. Them Down. Yeah, I

54:58

thought. make them put all their money toward

55:00

their defense. Yep, and they have to be.

55:03

And me, I'm talking to lawyers nine hours

55:05

every single day. Yeah, right?

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a nice gonna say you push the products and

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people that listen to this show. They love the

59:00

hittites, know gum is in and listen to you

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and I just blaber for an hour. It's the

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mean well said our own. think

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you. Do.

59:33

You see that as I sometimes wonder if that helps

59:35

trump because it takes up but I'm did he would

59:37

have spent. The Osage City

59:39

pretend like you're not as a Kb.

59:41

This is like a hobby because like

59:43

you know, he only has a few

59:45

hours to be trump. so maybe this

59:47

might like it's a good point localize

59:50

a lot of the difference in fact

59:52

and planted unless you see them. The

59:54

more. People. On the fence

59:56

like don't As A D C I

59:58

did. Neglect. Is this guy?

1:00:01

This is not our present. Or

1:00:03

I think that Trump's do and that

1:00:05

to ban people members. Oh yeah, you're

1:00:08

right. Yeah, that's true too. And. They

1:00:10

are like slowly and sanguine

1:00:12

unmasking themselves because. What?

1:00:14

I love the best isn't it just came

1:00:16

up if you really look that hard? Was

1:00:18

that? They all used recall to

1:00:21

accuse him. a brief com mander

1:00:23

the White House talking Kamala yet

1:00:25

on a well. So that's recall.

1:00:27

the whole thing. All the judges

1:00:29

all complete recall to make up

1:00:31

a charge of recall. Earnest was

1:00:33

kind of vitamin the yeah is

1:00:35

in. Is it is amazing that like

1:00:37

even something as simple as. Your.

1:00:40

everybody knows to abide. was the big

1:00:42

guy and I I can I keep

1:00:44

in they keep. The and I may say yes

1:00:46

to all they're not gonna do it. He won't

1:00:48

be spear. Has to be punished F going to

1:00:50

run for president? Yes, yes families. I'm gonna

1:00:52

wait till I'm his age and kill people

1:00:54

you know if that's if that's the rule

1:00:56

of you know the do it fast. Enough

1:00:58

for on the day I said there's

1:01:00

just no. Ah no, no

1:01:02

laws of our entire republic or

1:01:05

been respected at they're doing whatever

1:01:07

the hell they want. Yeah yeah,

1:01:09

lawfare is that it as pure

1:01:11

marks as yeah? It would make

1:01:13

him a joke. of average. De

1:01:15

Vito. The thing is, I've come a rat like I.

1:01:18

I when. I. Didn't really

1:01:20

see. The. Marxism

1:01:22

underneath all this, but now it

1:01:24

is so obvious. Yeah, it's like

1:01:26

this is how. Marxism.

1:01:28

Morphs into it. didn't work in it, didn't

1:01:30

work in the class. In the In In

1:01:33

in class warfare so they turned it into

1:01:35

race and I yeah the wandering around saw

1:01:37

the you know it's late and it just

1:01:39

is morphing in a it It's all this

1:01:41

say it's the same people. It's not

1:01:43

the same people to send, then they years in

1:01:45

the black males to get their way and cause

1:01:47

I guess you're the guy say that. That's

1:01:49

how Kamala got. Biased. Because

1:01:52

she. Sat all the black celebrities

1:01:54

to. Get. A hold of Biden and

1:01:56

say you need a black woman to be vice

1:01:58

President. What they to eat. The needed to

1:02:00

counter the fact that he was it like

1:02:02

I well as yeah, yeah every night. And

1:02:05

I mean it's that this. Might

1:02:07

that he has his things he said on

1:02:09

tape. You. Know. Remember.

1:02:11

All she said. Oh I was that little

1:02:13

girl on the bus. Not yeah, Yeah,

1:02:16

No, no, you weren't though. She

1:02:19

had. You were that woman

1:02:21

on her name is or oh

1:02:23

my god as disgusting as you

1:02:25

say that I have worked as

1:02:27

hard as I did to on

1:02:30

me and tons of women to

1:02:32

see that. Become. Vice President.

1:02:34

A woman who below or way to the

1:02:37

metal. Effect. Until

1:02:39

the That Fucker when it goes against an

1:02:41

inside. Joke I

1:02:43

do realize goes to laugh when he

1:02:45

doesn't wanna call Med Andra L O

1:02:48

s I cringed last. Great.

1:02:52

Ironic. like. The one thing that pisses

1:02:54

me off to I love Theo Bos.

1:02:56

I love an interview where they tried

1:02:58

to string you and him up. By

1:03:00

now seen it is it's bidding Deadwood

1:03:02

you were talking about how and he

1:03:04

got thing. I could tell that he

1:03:06

wasn't used to. That. Being in

1:03:08

that situation after words and it was

1:03:10

as such garbage you as a way

1:03:13

of other aren't as suit is now

1:03:15

a bag of about it I was

1:03:17

doing makeup or although I'm with her

1:03:20

know how to implement a soccer Get

1:03:22

a dollar a man. How many

1:03:24

times because were on? A hot oven for

1:03:26

like Timmerman it's know, as. As I said he

1:03:28

had began. I rolled up and I'm I'm

1:03:31

I'm all talk for the other. Some things.

1:03:34

Like. I probably can't talk about but as

1:03:36

the as yet I don't give a shit

1:03:38

like the guy the guy did some nasty

1:03:40

stuff to makes that I. Yo.

1:03:42

I can't talk about know and we did

1:03:44

have either because. It'll just kick

1:03:47

up south, but as. Let's

1:03:49

talk about how crazy the guy asks

1:03:51

and not crazy he wants that The

1:03:53

and when he was on Fox One,

1:03:55

he was like this talking out of

1:03:57

his ass every day by maybe an

1:03:59

hour. Be badly you are

1:04:01

a lives Were talking to us talking

1:04:03

about climate change. And like and

1:04:05

it's a if you wanted to digs eat. If.

1:04:08

You wanted example of how elitists.

1:04:11

Snobs. Three. The.

1:04:13

Rest of us are and how they use climate

1:04:15

change as a weapon against ass. He goes. You.

1:04:17

Know we have to understand that the your

1:04:20

our planet is you know is is in

1:04:22

trouble of it's and I'm to him. I

1:04:24

tried to get you know Ives I try

1:04:26

to get an easy Bentley but they had

1:04:28

it wasn't out Yeah that why I tell

1:04:30

us ahead and get the regular badly and

1:04:32

I've lost it. I started screaming on the

1:04:34

show a badly oh to do and we

1:04:36

be badly and and I was a psych

1:04:38

I had it I was like I kits

1:04:40

and it was so by the way that

1:04:42

was good television because it was so comical

1:04:44

does it was like. He. Actually

1:04:46

said that. He wasn't joking

1:04:48

know yet he some. He's.

1:04:51

Out there is pure democrat all

1:04:53

the. Way I yet. But I don't you think I'll

1:04:55

suggest that thing? really? Leo. I love President

1:04:57

Trump like a brother. But and then he and

1:04:59

he stabs him. Yeah, when my mom was on

1:05:01

your show last year here, he was doing you

1:05:04

who in the fi we're watching it. And.

1:05:06

You were saying oh Rosie, hims going to be

1:05:08

on to and he's like yeah of fact that

1:05:10

she called yes, Soldier in a Monkey and he

1:05:12

said I'm of Fox News a member of the

1:05:15

Backstage as a what the fuck is wrong with

1:05:17

discuss yet he's lying on Fox News Yes, Endless!

1:05:19

So Spain is he a say. In his

1:05:21

box and was a try. It out

1:05:23

about the who's blackmail is in of balls.

1:05:25

Yeah. My fig

1:05:27

jam it and nothing about Paul

1:05:30

Direct reforms. Are. Made of them. there are

1:05:32

July I think that all my things

1:05:34

that are I think like other late

1:05:36

night hosts are in that same ball.

1:05:38

Oh no, they aren't even as bad

1:05:40

as that of Fear Balls or is

1:05:42

it going. I feel like I said

1:05:44

I bought a new era sexist comment

1:05:46

op's car. A lot of them. It's.

1:05:48

Because of wives I say so tell

1:05:51

us they're always says look would have

1:05:53

an hour or and why doesn't happen

1:05:55

to Howard Stern Because he was a

1:05:57

different person. And now he's like so.

1:06:00

Oh you mean look at Cam all

1:06:02

you are feel black face and now

1:06:04

he's acting like he's like. What?

1:06:06

F. L I I I

1:06:08

I think that like. People have

1:06:10

been under witchcraft. Their wives

1:06:13

are. Under the sway

1:06:15

of lesbian publicists, what version

1:06:18

of that same run folly

1:06:20

was laughably and which is.

1:06:23

An Hour Of Feldman as Listen To

1:06:25

Live Off at The Married Them As.

1:06:28

If they don't have a lesbian

1:06:30

which as that person his dressing

1:06:32

harm. Are doing their public. Their laws

1:06:34

are going to take your word for it

1:06:37

has to be safe but I will partner

1:06:39

with our first. I have to say that

1:06:41

like it's. It's. It's.

1:06:43

A like. I. Notice

1:06:46

how my. A lot

1:06:48

of my friends change and it's and

1:06:50

it's like they can't say the see

1:06:52

like trump now they're very cute. Leather

1:06:54

skirt. Look lamb the me I dared say

1:06:57

that yeah and you know. The. I'm

1:06:59

really thought people. And.

1:07:01

My real life when I was in

1:07:03

Hawaii. You know that's a pretty common

1:07:05

a stay at a wise pure commie.

1:07:08

And I would say I was for trump.

1:07:10

A new people are like ah it's okay,

1:07:12

it's okay. Made a carrot. I

1:07:15

would I buy an folly would

1:07:17

say. Words. Shopping on their

1:07:19

does. Early age. it's a the

1:07:21

fear for their careers and I'm

1:07:24

I the without the the lesbian

1:07:26

aspect of it. The.

1:07:28

World is run by publicists. Right? Any

1:07:30

A and are all lesbians? I don't know why

1:07:32

you don't know that. I don't look well. I

1:07:34

haven't had a publicist in ages. That's why you don't

1:07:36

know. But it

1:07:38

v is am. I always

1:07:41

found that they're miserable and and

1:07:43

they're essentially unhappy and lonely. And

1:07:45

a lot of this status is

1:07:47

driven by. I'm. Transferring

1:07:49

their maternal instinct to issues. Yeah, so it's

1:07:52

like you know it's like is a big

1:07:54

joke is it's good to say is like

1:07:56

all they have arts and they live alone.

1:07:59

The. Cats Now. Or the I r

1:08:01

that their policies in the position

1:08:03

see takes to their easily led

1:08:05

into. The. Trendiest cause his ass.

1:08:07

their new pact. That's their new. There's

1:08:09

a new Kathy feed so they

1:08:11

have five that's you down or all

1:08:14

these different issues. And so that

1:08:16

is there. It's it's It's a spot. I

1:08:18

think it's a shifting of. There's.

1:08:20

An F. The everybody has instincts and

1:08:22

it's not even a set of the

1:08:24

of women, whether they like it or

1:08:26

not, have a maternal instincts, right? And.

1:08:29

Somehow it's been hijacked, And you know,

1:08:32

And. If you know what it is now. In

1:08:34

my opinion, There. Are

1:08:37

protecting a pedophile? That's

1:08:39

what they're doing with their maternal and

1:08:41

sisters next. Like I'm protecting a pedophile.

1:08:44

Ah, Producer that pays. Oh.

1:08:46

Yeah Hollywood yeah. That's the pecking

1:08:49

order. Yeah, and no other lesbian.

1:08:51

Adolescence is like. A

1:08:54

bear number one thing as the point

1:08:56

out where men who are opposed to

1:08:58

that right. Right right Again, not

1:09:00

my area, but no, I'm Olga.

1:09:02

I'm building by most I know,

1:09:04

but you know what's interesting about

1:09:07

armed little. Bit. Odd. the

1:09:09

arm. But. When you go

1:09:11

and take talk and you see these

1:09:13

trans women are he man in drag

1:09:15

your always throwing a tantrum? yeah what

1:09:17

affects to be turtle instincts. And

1:09:20

to be around a true while. So it's

1:09:22

like why are like, Why? Why are all

1:09:24

of these women white knight eating? Then

1:09:26

suddenly White Knight and yeah, it's it's the

1:09:29

Our White Savior horse shit. Yes, yes. And

1:09:31

and a pioneer in it's like. Like.

1:09:33

They were like i think it was arm. Ah,

1:09:37

Riley gains saying that once we have

1:09:39

when they told her. That. There

1:09:41

were going to have a male. In.

1:09:43

The in on the team they were all against

1:09:45

it and they voted against it and then they

1:09:47

had that the mail swimmer a man and he

1:09:49

said that if he wasn't allowed to swim he

1:09:52

would fill in self. And. So

1:09:54

what does that? Duty Or maternal? It's like journal of

1:09:56

curious Go would not be. Why don't we wanted it

1:09:58

isn't it? Without even the maternal instinct. You don't

1:10:00

want that. Built. A lot

1:10:02

on your hands but there was a it was a. Know

1:10:04

how to manipulate where. My emotional leverage?

1:10:06

Well, As you will like this. In

1:10:09

a swing in your face or someone's

1:10:11

gonna get hammered. Through the store there

1:10:13

were stories about on dating apps.

1:10:16

The women female dating apps that

1:10:18

if a trans woman. If.

1:10:20

You didn't see it. Trans woman who had a

1:10:23

penis or minerva of on of seem on a

1:10:25

lady's ask. You. Were. France.

1:10:27

Phobic. So yeah it's it was like are as

1:10:30

like a woman, a lesbian who's honest women's dating

1:10:32

app as a date a woman with a penis

1:10:34

it she's like with this is this is not

1:10:36

what I came here is a success. At. Yes,

1:10:39

Yes, I know I'm a lesbian. Bill, I

1:10:41

don't. Yeah like that. but it's

1:10:43

like you will like it too well

1:10:45

as they're just they are throwing tantrums

1:10:47

years that it is. You know what?

1:10:49

It's because the adults have left the room.

1:10:51

We forgot how to deal with tantrums. Rock.

1:10:54

And that's why I guess we're used to adults

1:10:56

throwing tantrums make but a lot of this kind

1:10:58

of celia. Lot of these guys dressing up as.

1:11:01

Young. Girls, it's all part of

1:11:03

like. That what's his name? The Bud

1:11:05

Light? Yeah. That Dylan Mulvaney luggage dressed.

1:11:08

Up like an eight year old girl

1:11:10

now, but riper and nobody's saying anything

1:11:12

about him doing a little. Girl.

1:11:14

Yes, I have won a world I now.

1:11:17

Oh sweet and on that yeah those shows

1:11:19

yeah we got her all the bigger lesbians

1:11:21

who god trans with the we did it

1:11:24

aura and I'm received two Mario we have

1:11:26

we have three minutes a wrestler yeah I

1:11:28

did a subtle signs. Craig

1:11:30

Absolute pleasure Mysore. Com a

1:11:33

It was wonderful. I know I'm trying

1:11:35

to get my outfit and my Harris

1:11:37

for both sides. Are they gonna do murder?

1:11:39

name linked in doing or her? Everyone does it. Begin.

1:11:41

To your her make up their to i first you

1:11:44

that you want to do with their you want to

1:11:46

go like ninety percent good for a nominal I found

1:11:48

dead alone nervous like that Sorrows and the language of

1:11:50

his motive is this is like admit. That

1:11:55

I have. What? I do

1:11:57

for our your without you fucker Carlson in the foot

1:11:59

in the. Re. We

1:12:02

don't I got a now have some married tonight. I

1:12:04

know. That I'm You do a

1:12:06

great poker by the way to or they

1:12:09

may have a good one but this is

1:12:11

easy laugh. And. Love soccer or it

1:12:13

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