0:00

<silence> Hey,

0:10

hey, beautiful people. How are we doing?

0:13

I am Anitra n Lawson storyteller,

0:16

producer, educator, content creator.

0:19

He is Dr . Andre Evans.

0:22

What's going on? Savage

0:23

People? He is a

0:26

brother. He's a father, he's

0:28

a writer. He's pest.

0:31

I have to keep thinking of the things right

0:33

. <laugh> . And we are the Savage

0:36

siblings . This is the Savage Sibling Podcast

0:38

where we are brutally honest, relentlessly

0:41

transparent, and unapologetically

0:44

authentic. So glad you

0:46

guys are here for another episode.

0:48

We always kick it off with a check-in. So , bro , bro

0:50

, how you doing? Checking in with you? Uh

0:52

,

0:52

I am doing well. Uh, just , um,

0:56

just kind of going over conversation

0:59

we had earlier this week or

1:01

late last week. Can't remember. Mm-Hmm.

1:03

<affirmative> ,

1:03

Um, where we would just kind of talk about

1:05

everything we've got going on with S

1:07

two media works and how things are unfolding. But not

1:09

just that, but then I was talking a lot about just what's

1:12

going on with my men , my personal ministry.

1:15

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> with church, just life. And we were both kind

1:17

of, kind of reflecting on that. And,

1:19

but in , I remember in our conversation it was

1:21

like things were , were feeling heavy, like

1:24

things were, you know, where's

1:26

the money coming from?

1:28

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Where's the ,

1:29

You know, all this stuff. All these things. And, you

1:31

know, one of the things I, I kind of realize

1:34

in that moment, or at least it feels like in

1:36

that moment, is like that the , the

1:38

weight of promise is, is

1:41

oftentimes the heaviest Mm-Hmm . When we are , uh,

1:43

we're closest to the breakthrough of the

1:45

promise, right? Yeah .

1:46

Yeah .

1:46

Because you can see the stuff moving, but now the big

1:49

challenges are coming because I really do feel

1:51

like a lot of times when

1:53

the magnitude of what you're

1:55

working towards starts to get real, then

1:58

there's also the magnitude of the responsibility

2:01

you have to , to , to see it through, to

2:03

its kind of success. So things start

2:05

breaking down, questions start needing

2:08

to be answered,

2:09

Emotions

2:09

Start overflowing, like all these things.

2:11

Right? But, but here's the thing.

2:14

You know, when you are answering those questions,

2:16

then those questions no longer exist

2:19

when the things start breaking down and

2:21

you clear out what's broken, and

2:24

you start to look to build up things

2:27

better, or you clear out the

2:29

emotions that are kind of weighing you

2:31

heavy, you know, then you're,

2:33

you're, you've got space. And I'm wondering

2:35

sometimes what if it's

2:38

heaviest at that moment so God can get

2:40

you to clear out all the negative

2:42

thoughts and emotions because he , he's making

2:44

room Yeah.

2:45

For what

2:46

The breakthroughs got to occupy.

2:48

Yeah.

2:49

Uh , and I , I think some of the time , some of

2:51

the moments where it's

2:55

hardest for us in life, I believe

2:57

sometimes it's this understanding that

2:59

, uh, you gotta clear out some

3:01

stuff to make room for what's coming. Mm-Hmm

3:04

. <affirmative> , it reminds me of like, when

3:06

a , uh, mother's about to give birth

3:08

and

3:09

They

3:09

Do what's called nesting.

3:11

Yep .

3:11

Yep . <laugh> . And you start, you start getting rid of stuff,

3:14

and then you start putting stuff in, and

3:17

the stuff you got rid of, you're

3:19

getting rid of it because it doesn't speak

3:21

to the life of what you're about to bring to

3:24

the future. Yeah .

3:25

Mm-Hmm .

3:25

<affirmative> to the future. Right? So you start bringing in

3:27

stuff Mm-Hmm .

3:28

<affirmative>

3:28

That's suited directly for the

3:30

future. Yeah . So,

3:31

So

3:31

That's, so I think there's sometimes where we definitely

3:34

go through this mental, this emotional nesting.

3:37

Yeah.

3:37

And that's oftentimes an indicator that

3:39

we're closest to our breakthrough, our

3:42

, our whatever it is, our passion coming

3:44

to fruition. Yeah . Uh , we're

3:47

closest to, you know, whatever has

3:49

been revealed in our spirit, revealed in

3:51

our hopes and dreams about

3:54

to become our reality. We

3:56

, we start that nesting

3:57

Mm-Hmm . Process.

3:58

Mm-Hmm . So I feel like that's what I've been doing past

4:00

week and a half is, is just that proverbial

4:03

nesting. Yeah .

4:04

Where

4:04

I'm like, all right , I , I gotta be laser

4:07

focused because I don't need anything

4:09

distracting me. Yeah .

4:10

Uh ,

4:10

You know what I mean? I gotta, I wanna stay in my

4:13

lane. Mm-Hmm.

4:13

<affirmative> . Mm-Hmm .

4:14

<affirmative> . Because what I don't need is someone causing

4:16

me to exit before my exit. Right.

4:18

Yeah. That's good . So so's So I'm just doing, I'm doing

4:21

so much right now of being

4:23

so focused on exactly what

4:25

it is I know I'm supposed to be doing because that's

4:28

good . It's moving. Opportunities are

4:30

being taken.

4:32

That's

4:32

Good. Uh , chances are being taken. Risks

4:33

Are being

4:34

Taken.

4:35

Yeah.

4:35

And , and so I have got to be laser focused

4:38

right now. Mm-Hmm.

4:39

<affirmative> .

4:39

Because just the slightest distraction

4:42

makes the risk not worth it. That's

4:44

good . The opportunity fail. And so I'm just, I'm

4:46

doing my best to focus. And I do believe then

4:48

for me , uh, because, you

4:51

know, I'm, I'm a person of faith. For

4:53

me, it's God saying, no , you're , you're going

4:55

through this because you're

4:57

making room for the breakthrough.

4:59

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you're

5:00

Making, you're making room.

5:01

It's greater.

5:02

Yeah . One of the hardest things to do is to press through

5:04

the difficulty, because destinies

5:06

coming through the hardship

5:08

Of the

5:09

Pressing

5:09

Destiny

5:09

Doesn't come when things are easy.

5:11

Nope.

5:12

<laugh> destiny comes through the pressing of

5:14

the hardship.

5:15

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative>

5:16

Not the ease. Nothing comes,

5:18

Nothing

5:19

Good, comes nothing . That's easy. And

5:22

, and I realized I was talking about destiny, but

5:24

like, nothing comes good.

5:27

That's easy. <laugh> nothing.

5:30

Money that comes easy ain't good for you.

5:32

Women that come that are easy ain't good for

5:34

you. Men that are good for you, ain't that

5:37

are easy. Rather , men that are easy ain't good for

5:39

you. Nothing that comes

5:41

easy. It's necessarily good

5:44

for you. There's a difference I found then

5:46

between favor and easy.

5:49

Because , you

5:49

Know , there's a whole lot of folk walking around talking about , oh

5:51

man , that teaching , that was easy. No

5:53

. Okay . Right . <laugh> , that

5:57

was favor. That's why you got that. That's

5:59

Why you still standing

6:01

<laugh> . That's why you still Right . That's how you made

6:03

it through unscathed. That wasn't easy. You

6:05

had the favor of the Lord upon you. Um

6:08

, 'cause yeah, there's , there's a difference between easy

6:10

and and favor. But that's, that's me. Right

6:12

. That's what I'm , that's what's been for me because

6:15

of that . That's , that's final statement. I'll say . I

6:18

always want to both identify

6:21

Mm-Hmm .

6:21

<affirmative>

6:21

And take on the

6:23

favor. I never want

6:25

to identify and take on the easy.

6:27

Nope . Because there's a reason why it was easy. <laugh> . So

6:30

, so anyway , that's,

6:31

That's maturity.

6:33

Right, right. Right. I'm

6:35

not going to tell you how I learned that. Right . That's not

6:37

this episode. <laugh> , that's not this episode.

6:39

That's the episode of, Ooh , I wish I never

6:41

had <laugh> . If I never had ever. That's

6:44

that episode <laugh> . So anyways

6:47

, that's what's going on with , right

6:51

. That's the Carl Thomas episode <laugh>

6:54

, so ,

6:56

Oh God. Yeah . That's so funny.

6:59

Sounds like what's been going on.

7:00

It sounds like we've had similar weeks <laugh>

7:03

. Um , I think for me, I was, I

7:05

labeled this week as a shots fired week. Oh

7:08

. Where ? Yeah. But in a

7:10

good thing, God is always in the midst . But , um,

7:13

with that whole shots fire , where it felt like

7:15

there's a lot of things have been coming at me, every

7:17

time I would hear God say, wait, like, wait,

7:19

wait. Just keep waiting. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And

7:22

I'd be like, ah . But , um, I don't know . Have

7:24

you ever seen those , um, those war

7:26

movies where they have to get behind

7:28

the barricade or the dugout? Oh, yeah . You

7:30

know, and Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> what they learned to do,

7:32

bro, bro, is wait until the

7:35

, the other, you know , the enemy empties their

7:37

rounds and then you shoot <laugh> . Right. I

7:39

said, I said, Lord, there's a reason why I don't, you didn't

7:41

ever send me to real war. I said, 'cause I probably end

7:44

up killing everybody, my , my side and

7:46

their side. 'cause I don't know how to wait. I'm

7:48

gonna just be like, like everybody's

7:50

getting these bullets. And so this

7:53

whole week has been guys saying, wait, now

7:55

go. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Wait, now shoot.

7:58

<laugh> . Right . Wait. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> now run. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Right

8:00

. If it's up to me, I'm probably gonna

8:03

be down in the first two minutes 'cause I'm just out

8:05

there letting it go. So it's, it's

8:07

been an interesting week. I've had to learn the art

8:09

of duck and cover, but , uh, what I love about God

8:12

is he's just been like, wait, I'm gonna tell you what to do.

8:14

And so even though some of it has been unpleasant or

8:16

uncomfortable , um, when I surrender

8:19

to that waiting and, and knowing when to move

8:21

based on what he says, that it works out. So, sounds

8:23

like we've been in similar places, but

8:25

I've been trying to shoot 'em all . I've been trying to take 'em

8:27

out <laugh> . He's like, wait,

8:29

Is that

8:29

Right ? They're reloading Do it.

8:30

Now. North scenario , um, reminds me

8:32

of that scene in Harlem Nights where

8:35

I'm sitting ho and his boys are shooting at

8:37

Eddie <laugh> , I'm

8:39

gonna kill you quick . And they all shooting in that one

8:41

little dude with that little gun . Pow , pow helps

8:45

it again . But see, if

8:47

you don't wait, you'd have got clipped by the little pow

8:49

pow . Like , you gotta wait, you

8:51

gotta wait until they all run outta ammo.

8:54

But you're so right. You're

8:56

so right because you know, you

8:58

know that shots fired scenario. Absolutely.

9:00

Because, you know, what

9:03

I have found in that type of situation

9:05

or that type of scenario is,

9:07

is oftentimes when

9:10

I wait and, and I

9:12

just make sure I deal with all of

9:14

the adversity, deal with all the questions, deal

9:16

with the I wait . Then what I've actually

9:18

found is if I don't

9:20

move until all the questions are

9:23

asked, Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , if I don't move until all the,

9:25

the issues , uh, are , are out,

9:28

then I realize that then once I start to

9:30

handle them, all the adversity

9:32

ain't got nothing left.

9:34

Yeah . So good. Does that make sense? Me Worn

9:36

Ain't left .

9:36

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> you still got energy to fight . Right

9:38

?

9:38

Exactly. Exactly. It's , it's

9:41

so, so for you, it's the shots fired for me, it's

9:43

the rope dope . Where Muhammad Ali's just letting

9:45

George Foreman wa on him

9:47

Just

9:47

Weigh , you know ?

9:48

But

9:48

He , and then he starts talking. You got more, you

9:50

got <laugh> ,

9:52

You wearing them down

9:53

<laugh> , and then you're too tired . I love

9:55

it . I love it when Adversity's too tired to

9:57

fight me anymore. Yes . That anointing and

9:59

favor takeover. And

10:00

I'm like, okay,

10:01

I took your best shot.

10:03

Yep .

10:03

I took your best shot.

10:04

Yep .

10:05

Um , so yeah. Yeah. I

10:06

Love that.

10:07

I get it. I get it .

10:08

I love that. All right , well, we're gonna jump into

10:11

our sound off segment. Sound

10:14

off segment. Sound off

10:17

. I'll kick it to you, bro. Bro.

10:20

No doubt. So this episode, we're entitling

10:22

not going to be able to do it . Uh , yeah.

10:24

Yeah. Because what we're looking at is,

10:27

is what's the benefit of

10:30

working hard versus

10:32

what's why is easy so

10:35

appealing.

10:36

Yeah.

10:37

So sometimes when we look at the hard things,

10:39

we say, I'm not gonna be able to do it. But

10:41

I've learned that when I look at the easy things Mm-Hmm.

10:44

<affirmative> ,

10:44

I'm not gonna be able to do it.

10:46

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And ,

10:47

And so yeah. That's why the title of this particular episode

10:49

is not going to be able to do it.

10:52

And , and we, we , we start the, the

10:54

un the the notion <laugh> , you

10:56

know, the , one of the reasons why we call the Savage siblings

10:59

is there, there's this learning process

11:02

of doing things the easy way

11:04

versus the hard way. Or what I might even

11:07

say the easy way versus the right way.

11:09

<laugh> , that

11:09

You keep growing up,

11:11

Growing up with the sibling. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> and the

11:13

household. And, and your , your first lesson

11:15

there is, is your , your , you

11:17

have to , uh, you have to join in,

11:20

in the share of the workload of the

11:22

family, keeping the, the house. And you

11:24

find really that, well, at least from a a

11:26

child's perspective, the children are

11:29

the slave laborers. The parents don't do anything

11:31

<laugh> .

11:32

They

11:32

Just leave the house at nine and come back at six

11:34

or seven. Yeah . While we gotta do everything else, <laugh>

11:37

, we gotta do everything. But I house ,

11:38

That's why I had you .

11:39

Right . <laugh> , if you do , the amount

11:42

of times I have said to Cory Corin

11:44

, Hey , uh, I had you

11:46

for this reason. Right ? Hey , and really

11:48

to get , give you the remote. Yes. Yes . Pour

11:50

you some water. Yes. <laugh> . Yes,

11:53

yes. I had you for this reason. Right?

11:57

Absolutely. And, and I know for them , I know what it

11:59

feels like for them, but I'm ,

12:00

Yes. We've been

12:01

There, I'm teaching them life lessons, clearly <laugh>

12:03

,

12:03

I'm

12:03

Teaching them life lessons. A hundred

12:05

percent . That's what I'm teaching them . <laugh> . So, so

12:08

I know, but as a kid, it feels like, like

12:11

forced participation, right?

12:12

Yeah.

12:12

Because, you know, the parents are

12:15

told, you know, or they have this notion

12:17

that it's important to instill, you

12:20

know , these values and this work ethic

12:22

and all this in their children. And,

12:24

and , and so it starts with chores. Like, I

12:27

need you to do these chores. And as a child,

12:29

you're like, I don't understand. You've been doing this

12:31

all your life before you had me. Like, why?

12:33

I don't understand, why am I doing it

12:35

all now? Right ? But the , the

12:38

issue here, and this is where we

12:40

get up, where , this is why I say, you

12:42

know, this is where we learn

12:45

whether to do things easy or to

12:47

do things right, but we'll say easy or

12:49

hard. Right .

12:49

But

12:50

To be hard is the right way to do it.

12:51

Right.

12:52

Because the parent says, do the

12:54

chores. But I'm gonna tell you , I'm , I'm

12:56

, I'm being be honest here. My

12:59

dad said, I

13:01

, your job, Andre, is to take out the trash.

13:04

Mm-Hmm.

13:04

<affirmative>. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Now,

13:05

There's two parts to this that I wanna talk

13:07

about. <laugh> . First part is, is he, he

13:09

said, you going to take out the trash. And

13:12

then he never gave me a modeling example,

13:15

right? <laugh>.

13:17

Right.

13:18

I've never seen my dad take out the trash.

13:21

Not once. Right? He simply

13:24

said, your job is to take out

13:26

trash.

13:27

Right ? <laugh>

13:28

Okay. Didn't teach me the steps to

13:30

take it out. The trash just said take out trash.

13:33

So right there now I've got is this

13:35

example where I could say, okay, there's an easy way

13:38

and there's a hard way. Now

13:41

the easy way in my

13:43

mind is let

13:45

it pile up and

13:47

wait till mom and dad say something.

13:49

Right? That's

13:50

The easy way in my mind, because

13:53

I don't want to do it. But

13:55

that ends up being the

13:57

wrong way. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Because my dad would say,

14:00

why'd you let this trash pile up <laugh> ? See,

14:03

at that moment then it's no longer easy

14:05

because it didn't matter what I was

14:08

doing, I had better stop and

14:10

take that trash

14:11

Out. Yep .

14:13

What I perceived as the hard

14:15

way, which is actually the right way,

14:17

was, is listen, don't let it overflow

14:20

when it's ready to be tied up, when

14:22

you have a break in what you're doing.

14:25

Mm .

14:25

Like you finna go outside and play. Just take

14:27

the trash out. I perceive

14:30

that as the hard way. Right.

14:32

When

14:32

It actually, it's the right way. And

14:35

it's the way that didn't get got

14:37

, get my butt beat. It's the

14:39

way that didn't get me popped across the

14:41

head. It's the way that didn't

14:43

get me having to explain to my friends why I can't

14:45

come outside, Andre, come out here and

14:47

tell your friends why you can't come outside, y'all.

14:50

I can't come outside. 'cause I didn't take out the trash

14:52

trash . Now they're looking at me like, why didn't you take out

14:55

the trash? We would've took it out for you , <laugh>

14:57

. We can't play football and,

15:00

and we can't get, we can't play this

15:02

game in the backyard that's

15:04

going to put us in the emergency room. 'cause

15:06

you didn't take out the trash. And so

15:08

it's like, so you just made life

15:11

difficult, trying to do things the

15:13

easy way. That's the first thing it taught me. But

15:15

here's the other thing. Dad

15:18

wasn't just teaching me work

15:21

to do chores, rather, he was teaching me an

15:23

ethic in life.

15:25

Yes , exactly

15:25

Right. The ethic in life was,

15:28

is you gotta take care of what

15:30

you're blessed with. Rightly.

15:32

You gotta take care of the opportunities

15:35

that you get that are blessing. You

15:37

can't just let trash pile up

15:39

because it devalues, it

15:42

takes away from the value. It

15:44

takes away from the credibility of

15:46

The

15:46

Blessing.

15:47

Yes .

15:47

So, an ethic has to say, take care of

15:49

what you're blessed with. The,

15:52

the hard or the right way would've

15:54

been to do it the easy

15:57

way that I thought was, well, how come

15:59

Nikki can't take out

16:00

The

16:00

Trash? Right . <laugh> . Right . So

16:03

the first one is, is I let the

16:05

trash pile up. Wait till mom or

16:07

dad say something. I thought that was easy.

16:11

Now the next one is, is well, why can't

16:13

Nikki do it?

16:13

Right?

16:14

She's here. And, and that

16:16

also end up being the wrong thing. Mm-Hmm.

16:19

<affirmative> . Because

16:19

Now dad is saying, no, Nikki

16:22

has different chores.

16:23

Yes.

16:24

Don't you question me again. So

16:27

it's not that she's not pulling her

16:29

weight, she just has a different weight to

16:31

pull. Now the

16:33

problem with the second one is,

16:35

is Dad didn't explain it too well. Right.

16:38

<laugh> dad was Dad, I

16:40

said something <laugh> , I Right . Dad was like,

16:42

because I said so, but No, no, no,

16:44

no. Lemme tell you what dad said to me, <laugh>

16:47

what dad said to me. And this is here where you

16:49

get the second opportunity to do things the easy way or

16:51

the hard way, depending on how you

16:53

take the message that's given to you in

16:55

the moment. Right ?

16:56

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative>

16:56

Dad says, Nikki has other

16:58

chores. Right? I need you to take out

17:01

the trash. Watch this. What dad said to

17:03

me one time, he said, because I

17:06

don't ever want Nikki to be out there by

17:09

herself where something can happen to

17:11

her

17:11

Right

17:12

Now. Me, my dumbing self . Okay,

17:14

cool. No problem. Wait a

17:16

minute. But it's okay for me to be out there by

17:19

myself . Wait a minute. So

17:22

something can happen. Wait a minute, wait

17:25

a minute. So there's a danger in taking out

17:27

the trash that you're okay if

17:29

I Listen, listen, he turned

17:31

into Abraham in the Bible. So I'm

17:34

The sacrifice. Yes .

17:34

I'm the sacrifice. So

17:37

, so there's no ram . I could not , I'm

17:39

okay. Right there. Was there Better not be

17:41

a ram in the trash can . That's a whole nother

17:43

issue. Like, wait a minute, it's

17:46

okay that, that, that, that I'm putting myself

17:49

in danger.

17:50

Right ?

17:50

<laugh> . But, but what that is also suggest, what

17:52

that also taught me then is, is the

17:55

easy route sometimes that we take,

17:57

is because we think that we can

17:59

get through unscathed and it's

18:01

Going to be okay.

18:02

Mm-Hmm.

18:02

<affirmative> .

18:03

But that doesn't mean it's the right choice.

18:06

Yes. Sometimes the hard decision

18:08

means that you put yourself at risk.

18:11

Right . <laugh> .

18:11

But that doesn't mean it's

18:14

the wrong decision. Right.

18:17

So, so, so, so when

18:19

we are looking at, you know, what's the

18:21

appeal of easy? Sometimes, you know,

18:23

the , uh, the appeal of easy. We

18:27

feel like it's safe. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative>

18:29

we feel like, you know, it's less work.

18:31

We feel like Mm-Hmm . You know, all of these things that,

18:34

that very well may be true, but

18:36

that doesn't make it the right decision.

18:38

Yeah . It doesn't build ethic. It doesn't build

18:41

value. Yeah .

18:42

And

18:42

The choice you're making. And

18:44

so sometimes then making the hard

18:46

choice , um, is actually

18:49

better because it's the right choice. There's

18:51

more value in it, there's more longevity, there's

18:53

more endurance. There's definitely more

18:56

, uh, more ethic. Mm-Hmm

18:58

.

18:58

<affirmative> . Um , and ,

18:58

And it's, and it's again, it's, it's, you know,

19:01

somewhere along those lines, I

19:03

had to look at the shortcuts

19:06

in my ethic and say, no, no more easy stops.

19:09

No more ,

19:09

No more shortcuts. Mm-Hmm .

19:10

<affirmative> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> .

19:10

Right. And so what I actually was defining as

19:13

hard is actually , uh, a

19:16

desire that I had to avoid

19:18

the sacrifice it takes for greatness.

19:21

Wow. Right.

19:21

Mm-Hmm.

19:22

<affirmative> ,

19:22

Anything worth having is worth working for. Yes.

19:24

Yes. You

19:25

Don't have to make sacrifice in getting, I

19:27

remember there was a time where , um, I

19:31

spent all day , uh, playing

19:33

outside. 'cause y'all young people, there

19:36

was a time that's

19:37

What we did in our lives

19:38

Where we had to venture into this

19:40

very scary environment called the outside.

19:42

Right. <laugh>. And , and you have to be in this place

19:45

Called fresh air

19:45

The outside until this,

19:47

this, this phenomenon, this electrical

19:50

phenomenon called streetlights. Right. <laugh>

19:52

, you , you didn't come back home until this electrical

19:55

phenomenon called streetlights came on

19:57

. Right . And then you, you'd come back

19:59

And you ran

20:00

From this, this, this, this, this, this,

20:02

this, you know, outlandish this,

20:04

you know, this roughing it adventure

20:06

called outside, you'd

20:09

come back in. And so one, one

20:11

Sunday night when the electrical phenomenon

20:13

called street lights came on, I came in

20:15

from this, this mystical place called

20:17

outside from doing this thing, this,

20:20

this activity we call playing with

20:22

our friends. Right. In the outside

20:25

in the flesh. <laugh> in the flesh. Right.

20:27

Right . Not virtual. Right. <laugh> . Right

20:29

. Not virtual. We didn't

20:31

put anything over our eyes and hold

20:33

these controllers in , in hair

20:35

. No , no . We , we , we put actual

20:38

things in our hand , like a

20:40

basketball. Right . A football <laugh>

20:42

. Like we put a stick , a stick

20:44

rocks. Right ? Right . And

20:47

so after coming from this adventure

20:49

called outside with the electrical

20:52

phenomenon of the streetlights coming on, on

20:54

a late Sunday night, I

20:57

remembered I had homework.

21:00

Ooh . Oh lord, that's gonna be true .

21:02

And my dad found out I had

21:04

homework, <laugh> .

21:05

Oh lord. That's the worst.

21:07

I wanted to take the easy way out and

21:09

be like, well, I'll just do it, you know, in

21:12

class. I'll get to class five

21:14

minutes early. Do it real quick and turn it

21:16

in. Yes. Uh ,

21:17

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>

21:18

And , and , and , and , and ,

21:20

Yes .

21:21

And Uhhuh . And so what , what what

21:23

I was trying to avoid and taking

21:25

the quote unquote easy way out Mm-Hmm

21:27

. <affirmative> was avoid sacrificing

21:29

my sleep. Or , uh, you

21:31

know, you know , sacrificing the

21:34

great my playtime. Right? Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . That's what I was trying

21:37

to avoid. And I was, I was, I was . And , and

21:39

so I was looking for a quick resolve.

21:42

That's what I wanted .

21:44

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> .

21:44

Right . But , uh, I , I

21:46

, because I know I need to do the homework, but

21:48

I shouldn't have to work hard to

21:50

get it done. Yeah . I know I want a good grade, but

21:52

I shouldn't have to work hard to

21:55

get it done. Yeah . And my dad

21:57

asked a question, I , I wish the question

21:59

was, well, why wouldn't you wanna

22:01

work hard? Why don't you wanna work hard? That's

22:03

, that's not, that's not the question he asked.

22:06

Right.

22:06

He asked a different question that implied the

22:08

same thing.

22:09

Right.

22:10

<laugh> . And , and , and I don't even know if it was a question, but

22:13

it seemed like a question. But what he said to me was,

22:15

is I wish you would go to bed. Right.

22:17

<laugh> . Now,

22:20

to me it seemed like a question. 'cause it felt

22:23

like he was giving me a choice.

22:24

Right.

22:25

Easy or hard.

22:27

It was not easy

22:28

Or hard. It

22:31

, it was, it's like, you know, I dare

22:33

you to go to bed. Let me see what you're going to do. Mm-Hmm

22:35

.

22:35

<affirmative> ,

22:36

Let me , let me see what you're gonna do. <laugh> , right?

22:39

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , because for dad, taking the easy way

22:41

out meant a lower grade meant I'd just

22:43

be average. And in a day and a

22:45

time where I have to work twice as

22:48

hard.

22:48

Right.

22:49

To be, to be , uh, to

22:51

be looked at as average. Right.

22:53

Dad

22:54

Was like, no, you're not, you're not getting ready to take the

22:56

easy way out

22:58

Because Yeah . Better than that,

22:59

The world will see your ethic and give

23:01

you a below average rating, and

23:03

they're going to treat you below average. Yeah . So,

23:05

no, I wish you would go to

23:07

bed.

23:08

That's ,

23:09

And and here's the thing. That

23:11

lesson is

23:13

something I carry with me today. And

23:16

there are times Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> where I know

23:18

I need to do something for

23:21

work, for ministry, but

23:24

I wanna go to bed 'cause

23:26

I'm tired. Um , the day has

23:28

been full for me. And

23:30

I literally will say to myself and

23:33

my dad's voice, I wish

23:35

you would go to bed.

23:36

Ooh , you teaching me. I need that right now.

23:38

I wish you would go to bed.

23:39

Ooh , that's good.

23:40

Because the bottom line is this, if

23:42

I take the easy route, go to bed,

23:44

then I know the quality of

23:47

what I'm gonna produce. If I

23:49

made that choice,

23:50

That's so good. Ooh . That's a good one.

23:52

But if I'm willing to sacrifice, easy

23:55

to do what's hard, but Right.

23:58

I also know the quality of the results when

24:00

I do things that way. That's

24:02

So good.

24:02

And they're just two different Absolutely.

24:05

Two different qualities.

24:08

So, so, so <laugh> , um, I'm

24:10

a I'm gonna kick it to you for just a second. Yeah . What

24:12

did, for you, where does this

24:15

kind of ethic , uh,

24:17

find its foundation , uh, for

24:19

you? Yeah . What , as far, what are , what was your formative

24:22

, uh, foundational moment when

24:24

it came to, to ethics?

24:26

Yeah. I love it when unpacking the,

24:28

the appeal of easy. And I was , uh,

24:31

I love hearing your perspective.

24:33

'cause you know, we think about it for the sound off segment from the

24:35

perspective of siblings and I, it

24:37

makes sense to me now just even processing

24:40

it. 'cause mine was very different. Like

24:42

when I think about chores, you

24:45

know, any kid growing up, you're like, I don't wanna

24:47

do chores. I don't like it. Um,

24:49

there's so many more fun things as

24:51

you so beautifully laid out that we could be doing

24:54

when we're children. But I, as the younger

24:56

sibling, never felt

24:58

like a forced participant. Of course, we knew

25:00

we had to do it. Right . You know, our , our mom had the rubric

25:02

and the chart and the thing posted in

25:05

the kitchen of which days color coordinated.

25:07

Right . So who was doing dishes when, who was

25:09

taking out the trash? So it was just ingrained

25:11

in our experience. But in terms of , uh,

25:14

feeling forced, I remember not

25:16

feeling that way. 'cause I could look and see everybody,

25:19

you know, was doing it. Mom had her bit. Right

25:21

. You had your bit , you know , I had mine. Even

25:23

though dad didn't do chores, I understood he was the

25:25

provider. He took care of the other things , uh,

25:28

that at the time you don't understand till you become an

25:30

adult. And so I kept thinking, man, where

25:32

does this foundation for

25:35

the appeal of easy come

25:37

when I'm looking at, you know, come from when I'm

25:39

looking at my relationship with my sibling or

25:41

my family. Right?

25:42

Right .

25:42

And I started processing it, bro, bro. And I said , let

25:45

me unpack this thing so I can really see what it is. 'cause

25:48

when you're the older sibling, and, and I think you've

25:50

pointed this out, but I'd love to hear from other folks. 'cause I was the younger,

25:53

everything you do growing up when you

25:55

have younger siblings for you, is about accountability.

25:58

It's about responsibility. So

26:00

there is this kind of, you know, pressure

26:03

or force participation because like you

26:05

already laid out, it's not just that

26:07

I have to take out the trash. There's a why that it has to be me.

26:09

That has to do with the hierarchy of the, you know, you

26:12

in the birth order of the oldest sibling. And I bet , uh,

26:14

many older siblings feel that way. But

26:16

when I was kind of thinking, okay, well where does this appeal

26:19

to easy come from for me, as a younger

26:21

sibling, I was thinking about this notion

26:23

of , okay, well we think about easy as, you

26:25

know, you can achieve something without great

26:28

effort. Right. Or , uh, whatever

26:30

you're going for doesn't present many

26:32

difficulties. Or there are few difficulties. Right. Or

26:35

the , the circumstances free from worry

26:37

or problems. And I'm thinking about

26:39

my situation with you. And I said, so

26:42

when I think about easy, Andre

26:45

did not make my life easier at

26:47

all. <laugh> . So for me, it

26:49

wasn't our family or the chores or

26:51

the rules. It was you <laugh>

26:54

. Right? It was no, everything

26:56

that Andre does, it

26:59

is with great effort. And we've talked about it in

27:01

the past podcast episodes, where if it was friends

27:04

stopping by to see me, you , you slamming the door in

27:06

their face. If it was who's going to get to use

27:08

the phone? Your first dibs on

27:10

that no ours situation presented

27:12

lots of difficulties with you. Right. <laugh>

27:14

. So you were the problem, you were

27:17

the worry. And when, when I thought

27:19

about it, and I kept trying to figure out, well

27:21

, why was that, or why as a younger sibling,

27:23

and I'm, I'm telling you, I bet

27:25

many younger siblings feel this way. For us, it's

27:28

not the forced participation. It's

27:30

that everything is now tracked through the hierarchy

27:32

of the birth order. Right . And so the level of

27:34

ease in our life is based on what you do

27:37

or do not do right or wrong. I mean,

27:39

think about it, younger siblings, how many time do

27:41

you have to go to bed because your older sibling did

27:43

something and parents got mad at the whole lot

27:45

. The whole bloodline in trouble. Now the whole bloodline

27:47

in trouble. Right ? Right . And it's because of what

27:50

you did. I'm like, I wasn't watching that.

27:52

I wouldn't saying that I didn't do that. No

27:54

, but your brother didn't go to bed too. Right? And

27:56

so I , um, for me, the appeal

27:58

of Easy was anti Andre.

28:01

Right? Easy is anti Dre

28:03

<laugh> . Right ? Easy and growing up for me

28:06

is, you know, how can I get away from it? I

28:08

remember thinking when our parents would be gone,

28:11

and Andre was the older sibling, so he had to be responsible

28:13

for making sure that, you know, we ate. And

28:16

I would come after like several hours of being

28:18

patient, say, Andre, I'm

28:20

hungry. <laugh> . Right

28:23

? And he'd be like, all right . Continue

28:25

playing video games or whatever he is doing. Right? Right.

28:27

I remember that. So eating means I

28:29

get to eat when he feels like cooking. Right? So there's

28:31

no ease in that. Right? It's easy for

28:33

you at , because it's , it's when Andre's

28:36

hungry, then the whole family is hungry

28:38

and the whole family can eat. Right. <laugh> , I , you

28:40

know, I could have a school project like, Andre, will

28:42

you help me do this? Or have to move a chair?

28:44

Just need to do anything. And it wasn't that

28:47

I needed it right then for him, it was when he felt

28:49

like doing it. Right. So I

28:51

think what happens when you're the good

28:53

time , see, when you're the younger sibling,

28:56

you might leave the home, you

28:58

know, with a value or a more

29:00

of an appeal toward ease because your

29:02

upbringing hadn't been easy. <laugh> life

29:04

ain't been no crystal stairs , <laugh> , no crystals.

29:06

So , so you, you choosing partners and

29:08

friendships that are what, based

29:10

on ease, right? If I asked

29:13

for it, you gonna do it right now? Cool. You work

29:15

, uh, if I asked you to pay for this, you're gonna take care

29:17

of your half right now. Cool. You work, right , <laugh>

29:19

, you're not even trying your value

29:21

and your standards have diminished because

29:24

you've been spending the last, you know, 18

29:26

years underneath the shadow of

29:28

your older siblings who they've clearly established

29:31

the , the ebb and flow of the home.

29:33

But what I realize in hearing your story is

29:36

that's because you guys often have not even

29:38

often, you know , have the pressure and

29:40

the responsibility and the accountability. 'cause

29:42

the , the flip side of that, and then I'll, I'll kick it back to you before

29:44

we get to our sponsorship. But , um, you

29:47

know, the flip side of that is

29:49

that responsibility and that pressure also

29:51

can equal you getting your butt whooped. Like, so

29:53

if Nikki , if Nikki broke the plate,

29:56

you know, the parents come home and say, what happened? There's

29:58

a broken plate, what happened? Now it could be

30:00

wholeheartedly Nikki's fault. I

30:03

dropped it. Right ? I dropped kicked it. I Frisbee

30:06

that joker like, it don't matter what happened. I

30:08

guarantee you they gonna say, what

30:10

were you doing, Andre? Yep . When

30:13

she had that plate in her hand, you could be

30:15

like, she was playing Frisbee with it. She

30:17

decided to actually take a BB gun and shoot

30:19

it. Everything that she did was wrong. Right

30:21

. But because you're the elder, the accountability,

30:24

the responsibility you gonna get a talking

30:26

to or probably in trouble as well as me.

30:29

Absolutely.

30:29

Um, because of that too. And so I can understand

30:31

how that pressure, that forced participation,

30:34

it does start to dis assign a value

30:37

to, to how we look at ease

30:39

and what we want for ease. Because now

30:41

after 18 years, and think about

30:43

it, everything, when you leave your parents'

30:45

home, you can't wait to what change your circumstances.

30:48

You can't wait to, you know , what you think

30:50

is wise, do some things differently. And

30:52

of course, we learned what have , as you've already laid out,

30:55

that the hard choice is often the right

30:57

choice. But yeah, we're seeking ease.

30:59

We're seeking

31:00

Yeah.

31:00

Achievements without great effort. <laugh>

31:03

, we're seeking, you know, presentations

31:05

of life circumstances Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> with few difficulties.

31:08

We're seeking life free from worries and

31:10

problems, which is the definition of easy. Especially

31:12

after you've had some siblings to kind

31:14

of Mm-Hmm . Put you along the way. So I'll, I'll

31:16

kick it back to you, but no, I was ready for anything that

31:18

didn't look like you. <laugh> <laugh> .

31:22

I love it. See , see , to me,

31:24

that's, that's the greater impact of

31:26

the choice. Whether it's , uh, uh,

31:29

giving into the appeal of

31:31

ease or whether it's fighting the difficulty

31:33

of hardship. The , the , the

31:35

impact is always going to be greater

31:38

than you. Yeah . Uh , it's , it's , and

31:40

so you cannot see it as an isolative

31:42

moment. Right .

31:43

You can't

31:44

See it as something, you're not an

31:46

island. Right. Right . You can't, you

31:48

cannot see it that way. Nope . So,

31:50

right. So you, you definitely gotta

31:53

be able to , um, recognize

31:56

that, yeah, I might make the easy decision,

31:58

but my easy decision absolutely

32:01

will impact. Because it's, it's

32:03

kind of what you described <laugh>. Um , so,

32:06

you know, if I, if if me taking

32:08

the easy route out, which made your life

32:10

hard, right ? <laugh> , now you become ready for anything.

32:13

Right ? That don't mean that's the right one. <laugh> . Right . You

32:15

just ain't like him. <laugh> . So that's

32:18

all that matters. You just ain't like him. <laugh> so

32:21

and so, and so you, you also gotta

32:23

know that there's a legacy in your ethic.

32:26

Mm . Yeah.

32:27

Yeah.

32:27

And, and there's a reach to your ethic

32:30

that , um, you know, yeah. The

32:33

appeal might be easy, but, you

32:35

know, easy doesn't reach far.

32:37

In fact, it reaches, it reaches the

32:39

wrong way. <laugh> , it reaches the wrong direction.

32:41

It's very limiting. Yeah.

32:43

It , it is very limiting. It can't reach

32:45

far. And it , and , and therefore it reaches

32:47

for what, what's that term? Low hanging fruit.

32:49

Low hanging fruit, <laugh> . Listen, everybody,

32:52

everybody done , done touched and been

32:54

on the low hanging fruit,

32:57

You know, get to

32:58

That good

32:59

Good stuff up , up top. That's not

33:01

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

33:04

I love that song . All right . Well, let's shout

33:06

out our sponsorship for this episode,

33:08

which is none other than S

33:10

two MediaWorks, a media production company

33:13

co-founded by my brother and I. And

33:15

that company is dedicated to creating content

33:17

that educates, inspires, empowers,

33:20

and encourages positive influence in

33:22

living. And we do that through creative and original

33:24

narratives. Our mission at S two

33:27

MediaWorks is to provide transformational education

33:29

and resources for healthy and productive

33:31

living. And we love telling stories. You

33:34

guys we're dedicated to creating life-changing

33:37

and life giving content and all that

33:39

we do. And this podcast, the Savage

33:41

Sibling Podcast, is a lineup in

33:43

our slate. We've got books coming , we've

33:45

got docuseries come in . And so we can't wait

33:48

to continue to share all the work , uh, that

33:50

we're doing and that we're producing behind the

33:52

scenes. And as always, thank you for listening to

33:54

this podcast. Thank you for rocking with us. Glad

33:56

you're here.

33:57

Absolutely.

33:58

All right , bro. Bro , you ready to get savage?

34:04

Absolutely. Let's go ahead and get savage.

34:07

Uh , so again, the name of this episode is

34:09

not going to be able to do it . Nope. And

34:11

it's gonna make sense as we get through this. But

34:14

first , uh, we're , 'cause we're talking about

34:16

, uh, the appeal of

34:18

easy Mm-Hmm.

34:19

<affirmative>

34:20

Versus looking at the

34:22

difficulty that comes with doing things the

34:24

hard way. Yeah . Not

34:25

Necessarily

34:26

The wrong way. Right. Um , 'cause oftentimes

34:29

the hard way is the right way. Yeah . 'cause

34:31

It

34:31

Just takes more effort. Yep . Um , but

34:33

the question that we have to answer first is why

34:35

is easy appealing

34:38

Mm-Hmm .

34:38

<affirmative> to

34:38

Begin with? Like, why is, why

34:41

are we more attracted to doing things

34:44

easy? And I , I I believe that , you

34:46

know, there's , um, in , in

34:48

the field of psychology, one of the things we

34:50

learned about was this term called cognitive

34:53

dissonance.

34:54

Mm-Hmm .

34:54

<affirmative> . And , um, this is such a profound word.

34:56

We've heard it a lot lately.

34:58

Right . Right .

34:58

In the political realm. And basically

35:01

what it is, is it's this detachment from

35:03

reality. Mm-Hmm.

35:05

<affirmative> . And

35:05

I think a lot of times easy is appealing

35:07

because it detaches us from

35:10

our reality. That's good . That's sometimes I do

35:12

things the easy way because the reality is,

35:15

is I am weak in an area and

35:17

I don't want to have to make myself strong.

35:19

Mm-Hmm.

35:20

<affirmative>

35:20

I'm afraid of an area and I

35:22

don't want to have to deal with the

35:24

fear. And so sometimes what the

35:26

hard way ends up meaning, or usually means

35:29

is that something is being stretched

35:31

Or

35:31

Something's being transformed. Mm-Hmm.

35:33

<affirmative> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>.

35:34

And so I go back to that whole taking out the trash. Taking

35:36

out the trash as a kid is

35:38

harder than taking out the trash.

35:40

As an adult . As an adult.

35:42

Yes. Yes .

35:42

And it's not because I'm stronger. Right.

35:45

It's not because I can fight off the , the

35:47

raccoons in the trashcan. <laugh> . Not that

35:50

I can fight off the , the death defying

35:52

feet of taking out trash that my dad implanted

35:55

in me at good kid <laugh> . No.

35:57

Take it out . The trash as an adult is easier.

36:00

Why? Because I don't need somebody coming over

36:02

to my house and saying, you live like a slob.

36:04

That part,

36:05

I don't want live like a slob. Like, I

36:07

don't want to come in and smell sour

36:10

come . I don't wanna come in and smell garbage.

36:12

That

36:13

Part,

36:13

I don't want, want my life to

36:16

have this attachment that suggests

36:19

I don't know how to take care of myself. Right.

36:22

That's

36:22

Good . So absolutely. Take it. I will

36:24

take out the trash and it ain't even halfway

36:27

full . All I gotta do is throw something in there that

36:29

I don't wanna smell an out from . Now just to

36:31

come on , I'll bag, matter of fact, if

36:34

I'm tell the truth Right, I'll put in

36:36

a brand new bag.

36:37

Yes.

36:37

Throw away one item that I

36:39

know will spoil if I don't

36:41

take it out. Yes . And then search my house

36:44

to fill the bag with other stuff.

36:47

Come on and

36:47

Take it out. Now, I ain't doing that

36:50

as a kid. <laugh> . No . As a

36:52

kid. <laugh> , my mom done threw

36:54

leftovers in there. It'll sit for a week.

36:56

Come on on . If the trash don't reach the

36:58

top of the can, I ain't taking it out. Nope

37:01

. Nope . But as an adult, let

37:03

me put an eggshell in there. Oh yeah . <laugh>

37:05

. It's at the bottom. Oh , it's around <laugh>

37:07

. It's around . I would

37:09

, I will put, I will put the packaging

37:12

of fish.

37:13

Right .

37:14

Come on and take it out

37:15

Immediately. Immediately. Come on immediately

37:17

. Extra steps.

37:18

Right. So that's so, so as an

37:20

adult, what I'm saying is, is my

37:23

reality is such that I'm not trying to be a

37:25

slaw . Yeah.

37:26

Yeah.

37:27

I want to know that I, I have more

37:29

ethic in life, more value in

37:31

life than the , to allow myself

37:33

to get to a point where I can

37:35

look and smell and see and be like, oh,

37:38

no, <laugh> . Right . That stinks.

37:40

That's ugly living like that <laugh> ,

37:41

That's

37:42

Garbage.

37:43

So I've gotta be able to, as an

37:45

adult, simply be able to say, no,

37:47

no, no. I've, I've matured. I've grown. Because what

37:49

I'm saying is, as an adult, it's

37:51

a lifestyle. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . It's not a chore

37:54

anymore. Right. Yeah.

37:55

Yeah.

37:55

Ethic is a lifestyle. It's not

37:58

a task.

37:58

Right. Right.

37:59

Ethic is a maturity level. <laugh>

38:02

. It's , it's not a forced participation

38:04

in the upbringing of this

38:07

whole Right. <laugh> , like, as a kid, I'm

38:09

forced, like, 'cause I'm not mature.

38:12

Right.

38:12

I'm forced. 'cause I don't have the ethic. But

38:15

as an adult, I gotta

38:17

be able to say, no , I'm willing to do

38:19

the hard stuff because I know what easy

38:22

gets you.

38:23

Yeah. And I

38:24

Need somebody to hear that

38:25

<laugh> . Yeah .

38:26

I know. It easy gets you living

38:28

long enough . If I

38:30

visit an adult who

38:32

finds it hard to take out the trash Mm-Hmm

38:35

. I'm gonna find it hard to visit that

38:37

adult again. Hang <laugh>

38:38

<laugh> . Like , like that's,

38:40

That's , you wanna talk about easy. You'll

38:41

Find it easy to be busy every time they call

38:44

. Like ,

38:44

It's easy . It's easy. This , this is easy for you to sit here

38:46

and smell that <laugh> . It's easy, like, it's

38:48

easy for you to look at the , that seat with dishes in

38:51

it doesn't

38:51

Bother . It's

38:52

Easy. Like Right. No,

38:54

I don't want no water. No. I don't want no food.

38:56

I want nothing . I dunno where you're getting that dish from.

38:59

<laugh> . I remember we have a , we have a childhood

39:01

friend. This is so funny. We have a childhood friend.

39:04

Uh, uh, well, so, so basically he's

39:06

the older brother of your childhood

39:09

friends .

39:10

Okay. And

39:11

One time we had to go to , uh,

39:13

Coleman Middle School, shout out to Wichita. There you , you

39:15

go. Okay .

39:16

Okay .

39:16

We had to go to , uh, Coleman. We were on our way to

39:18

Coleman Middle school one day. And

39:20

he said , uh, and no , and

39:22

I had , uh, something for

39:24

breakfast. I don't know what it was, but I had enough that I could

39:26

share and, and what I,

39:29

and I , and I said, Hey, you , you want some?

39:31

And he, and he asked the weirdest

39:34

question I heard in my life,

39:36

but now I get it today. Like,

39:38

and he knew this as a teenager,

39:40

Right.

39:41

He said to me, did you wash

39:43

dishes this morning? <laugh> ? Come

39:45

on, come on <laugh>

39:48

. And I was like, no,

39:51

I didn't wash dishes. He said, were there dishes in

39:53

your sink

39:54

This morning , morning in the sink ? Come on

39:56

<laugh> . And I was like, yeah, there

39:58

were, he said, nah , I don't want it.

40:00

Right . <laugh> ,

40:02

I didn't understand then. But my thing

40:04

is now, doc , if

40:06

you go to bed, bed with

40:08

Dirty before you go to bed,

40:09

You wash your dishes before you

40:11

go to bed, you tidy your home . <laugh>

40:13

, listen , I'll eat this . I'll , I'll take a

40:15

snack from you. But if you don't, that

40:18

means there's some, there's a level of

40:20

filth that's acceptable to you .

40:22

Remnants. There's some rem it ain't got

40:24

that breakfast. Man .

40:27

Man, listen, listen.

40:30

There is some transformation that,

40:33

that, that that, that you're not finishing

40:35

when you show me some ethic . Right.

40:37

Which means there's a , there's this conflict

40:40

in the way that you manage the ethics all

40:42

over your life. I listen, I

40:44

I it sounds petty. It sounds,

40:46

doesn't cursory, it sounds surface. But

40:48

listen, listen . If I walk in, if

40:51

you don't make your bed, there's some transformation

40:53

you missing. Right ?

40:54

Come ,

40:54

If you don't wash your dishes, there's some transformation

40:56

you miss .

40:57

Come

40:57

Y don't take out that trash . There's some transformation

41:00

you are missing. If I get in your car and there's trash

41:02

all in the backseat , that's last . And that's

41:04

last time I'm getting in your car, <laugh>

41:07

Getting your car . It's gonna your be easy to pass you by car

41:09

. It's gonna be easy to say no.

41:11

Because when we, when we struggle to do

41:13

the hard, when we struggle to manage the

41:15

ethics of life, there's cognitive dissonance

41:18

that's

41:18

Setting

41:18

In. You have said to yourself,

41:22

<laugh> ethic doesn't mean a whole lot.

41:24

Ethic doesn't have value

41:27

to it. And that, that that mental conflict

41:29

occurs that that mental conflict that occurs.

41:32

It doesn't , when watch this, your

41:34

beliefs don't line up with your actions.

41:36

Come on. 'cause I don't, I don't. 'cause there's

41:38

a whole lot of people like, no, no, no. Cleanliness

41:41

is next to godliness.

41:42

Right. Where

41:42

There's no god in your home. Right. <laugh> , there's no

41:44

God in your car. There's no God

41:47

in your personal space. There's

41:49

no God in your shower. There's no God

41:51

in you . Sink with the toothpaste in the toilet . <laugh>

41:53

. Right . There's no, God , let

41:56

me see a ring in the toilet. Nah , it's

41:58

godless . I'm out. Godless I'm out . Out

42:01

. That's right. Unclean,

42:03

unclean. <laugh> . Unclean . You're

42:07

right . Oh God . Because you know that

42:09

mean , listen, that's what I'm, that's

42:11

that cognitive dissonance. Like your

42:13

beliefs have to line up with your actions. And

42:16

the , and , and how do they do that? Ethic. Ethic.

42:19

And what does ethic tell me? Ethic tells me

42:21

you don't mind doing the hard thing 'cause it's

42:23

the right thing. Mm-Hmm , hmm . <affirmative> . You're not trying to take the easy

42:25

way out and then kind of

42:27

dilute your ethic. Or show me

42:29

that again, you , you know what

42:32

you believe in what you do. They're , they're in

42:34

this internal conflict Yeah . Fact matter

42:36

. That that's why it's, it's

42:38

an uncomfortable state of mind. Mm-Hmm.

42:40

<affirmative> .

42:40

When someone is taking the easy way out

42:42

for me. Yes.

42:43

It's

42:43

Uncomfortable because what I'm saying,

42:46

what I'm, what I'm seeing is, is no,

42:48

you would rather shortcut, you would

42:50

rather half a do

42:53

things. Yeah . You would rather just take

42:55

, you really would rather take the easy way

42:57

out, which doesn't mean it's the right way

42:59

out.

43:00

Right. Right .

43:00

Which also tells me you're not utilizing

43:02

your best self. Now

43:06

I don't. That's give my own self,

43:09

my half or worse self.

43:10

That's good. Ooh .

43:11

That's why I'll go to bed. I won't go

43:13

to bed or oftentimes on my way to bed, I'll

43:16

say to myself, I dare you to go to bed without

43:18

doing this.

43:19

Yeah. Because

43:20

So now if I'm giving myself my best

43:22

self, I'm not finna accept

43:24

somebody's less than best self <laugh> . Give

43:27

me your best .

43:27

Yeah . Yeah .

43:28

Show me, show me what you value in

43:30

life based on do you take the

43:32

easy route? Yeah . Or

43:33

Do you

43:33

Mind taking the hard route? Now when

43:35

I when we say easy and hard, when I say

43:38

hard, I'm not dipping into

43:40

that saying, what's that saying? Don't

43:42

work harder. Work smarter. Work smarter.

43:44

Not

43:44

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah .

43:46

Right . That's not what I'm saying. 'cause working

43:48

hard doesn't mean working dumb.

43:50

Right. Come on, teach.

43:52

That's not what I'm saying. Working hard

43:54

doesn't mean working dumb. Now I'm

43:56

with you if you're dumb , if you're doing

43:58

something stupid, you're automatically gonna work

44:00

harder. To me, that's

44:02

still taking the route where your ethic

44:06

Yeah .

44:06

Is in question to me.

44:07

Yeah. That's good .

44:08

So when , so when we say work harder, we're

44:10

not saying work don't work. We're not going

44:12

against that Sag absolutely works

44:14

smart .

44:15

Mm-Hmm . Yeah .

44:15

Absolutely. Works smart . But we're saying

44:18

is, is don't take the easy route

44:20

that questions your ethic. That that gives

44:22

me half of who you are instead of your absolute

44:25

best self. You see that ? That's

44:27

, and and see too many of us get into that, that

44:29

that space where we're redefining

44:31

our best internal self. Mm-Hmm . We're

44:34

rewiring ourselves. Mm-Hmm . For the appeal

44:36

of easy. That's

44:37

Easy. That's good .

44:38

I know I should do this, but I'm gonna rewire

44:40

myself to always accept for

44:42

the easy Right.

44:43

To accept

44:44

Less by doing easy. Because

44:46

it's easier to take the path of least

44:49

resistance. Too many of us are doing that.

44:51

Yeah. That's so good.

44:53

Right . But , but last time I

44:55

checked, resistance builds strength,

44:59

resistance builds muscle, mental muscle,

45:01

spiritual muscle, emotional muscle. We're

45:04

too busy reaching for the low hanging

45:06

fruit. And that's an issue within

45:08

itself. Um, I have found, I'm gonna say

45:10

this and I'll kick it over to you. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , I found that our

45:12

brains oftentimes trick us into

45:14

believing that low hanging fruit

45:16

is the ripest, but it's

45:18

Not. Yeah.

45:19

Matter of fact, if you talk to an agricultural

45:22

Yep . Yep .

45:22

Agriculturalist,

45:23

Is that how you say it ? Yeah .

45:24

Uhhuh ,

45:24

They'll tell you the best fruit is

45:27

the fruit that's closest to the sun.

45:29

To the sun. Which means

45:30

It's got to be at the highest elevation.

45:32

Right.

45:33

Too many of y'all grabbing for the low hanging fruit

45:35

that's got got spoil in

45:37

them, dark spoiled spots

45:39

in it, stuff like that. Right . Low, low

45:42

. In fact , low hanging fruit does not hold

45:44

an intrinsic value. That's

45:46

, I said something I need to make sure we hear that

45:49

easy looks appealing,

45:51

like ripe fruit.

45:53

Yeah . But

45:53

Once you take a bite, you realize

45:55

why it's low hanging .

45:57

Yeah. That's so good. But

45:59

You take a bite and you realize you like

46:01

, oh , everything. Yeah . Exactly. Oh, wait,

46:03

a what? The world

46:04

Need more time . Hope that I

46:05

Just bite in because, and that's,

46:07

that's what I mean when I say cognitive dissonance.

46:10

Yeah . It will always make look good.

46:12

Mm-Hmm . Because it's easy. And then it

46:14

becomes uncomfortable because what you

46:17

have to ch because you've chosen easy and

46:19

less valuable instead of hard,

46:22

not meaning diff not meaning like , uh,

46:24

hurtful or anything like that. But instead

46:27

of hard or ha and which has

46:29

more value, which, because it strengthens

46:31

, uh, your ethic , uh, it

46:33

strengthens your ethic in life. And so, but

46:35

anyway, that , that's my foundation for why it's

46:38

so good . Easy, seems appealing. So I , I'll

46:40

kick it over to you. What is your foundation

46:42

for why easy seems appealing?

46:44

I love it. You laid out the, the ethical

46:46

implications there. And I think that's, it's

46:49

a beautiful foundation. I took the approach

46:51

of kind of society's impact on

46:53

us when it comes to the appeal of

46:55

easy . 'cause we , you know, we live in a world where everything

46:58

is so time centered and task

47:01

oriented. And so there's a pacing

47:03

right of the world around us that encourages

47:06

us to what? Execute, execute, finish, finish,

47:08

finish, do, do, do, do, do . And we start, that's

47:10

ingrained in us at, you know, elementary school. You're

47:13

, you're hitting targets and you're pushed to it. And

47:15

it's , which is why what you've laid out in terms of the foundation

47:18

from an ethical standpoint is so critical where,

47:20

you know, our parents, our families really help to

47:22

shape and guide the way that we look at our

47:25

commitment to , to the task in our life. But

47:28

when you're inundated with this mindset

47:30

of, you know, graduate early finish school

47:32

in a year. Right . Shop from home, stay

47:34

home to look at online church. Don't get up and get

47:36

dressed and go to service. Uh, use Amazon

47:39

instead , uh, you know, wear it this

47:41

way. Uh, they even have tools now for you to

47:43

be able to braid your hair faster. Right? Yeah.

47:47

It's like, rather than the , the blessing of going

47:49

into, you know, ideally if you pick a beautiful

47:51

beautician, that you actually get two hours to

47:53

sit with them and they can minister to you. And it's

47:56

self care . Like, we're so inundated

47:58

with this mindset of what's going to be right

48:00

time centered, task oriented,

48:02

and you already laid it out easy for us really

48:04

is, well, what is the path of least resistance?

48:07

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And we look for that path because we're

48:10

overwhelmed with all of the

48:12

things that we've been asked to accomplish. If

48:14

you don't get a good ethical foundation

48:17

of, you know, what is the best choice

48:19

for the things that are important versus urgent,

48:23

important versus urgent.

48:26

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , we,

48:27

Society will push us to urgency. Right

48:30

. And there are things that are urgent, but that doesn't

48:32

mean that what's in front of you that's urgent is the most important.

48:35

Right. And so that's the Yeah

48:37

. No important is different from urgency, right? Yes

48:39

. And

48:39

So

48:40

What happens

48:40

Is,

48:41

We're we're Oh , the bill. Yes. The bill is due

48:43

right now. Yes, it is due right this

48:45

very minute, but it's still gonna be due tomorrow too.

48:48

Yes . I love that . And you can either love , take that extra shift at your

48:50

job and try to make sure you

48:52

get that money, or you can spend time with your kid. I

48:55

can guarantee you that the important thing

48:57

is that time investing in your child.

48:59

Yes.

49:00

That bill is urgent, but you've been here before.

49:02

You're gonna work it out. Or you know that at some point it's

49:04

gonna work itself out. And I think that's

49:06

the challenge. We appeal to the

49:08

easy, because we're trying to really

49:10

, um, reconcile

49:13

what's urgent versus what's important. And that goes

49:15

back to what Buro just said. If you don't have an ethical foundation

49:18

that tells you where you need to lean in and work

49:20

hard, 'cause that's a better choice versus what

49:22

is easy, society will press in

49:24

on you and Absolutely. You

49:26

know, force you to look at this notion of what

49:28

is the path of least resistance so I can just get it

49:31

all accomplished. And that's the danger, right. And

49:33

we start living that at elementary school. We

49:35

do your nephew, you know, he's in

49:37

middle school now, but <laugh> , I , I finally

49:40

picked up on what was happening. You know , every

49:42

day he comes home from school, I always ask him, how was

49:44

your day? And I promise you every

49:46

day he's like, it was a good day.

49:48

It was

49:48

A good day. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> .

49:49

Mm-Hmm . Yeah .

49:50

And I kept going every day . Can't be

49:52

, you know, and what happened was we , he would say

49:54

this and then maybe an hour later while we're eating dinner

49:56

or an hour later, that's , that's it . We're doing something's

49:59

it . Then he'd be like, well, this happened and this happened. And

50:01

then she said this. And I was like, well , you know, and I'm thinking,

50:03

whoa. And I said, well, I'm glad you shared that Kai

50:05

. I said, that sounds like that

50:06

Was kind of

50:06

Rough. And he said, yeah. I said, so it sounds

50:08

like you didn't have a good day at all. And he's like, no, I

50:10

didn't <laugh> . And I said,

50:12

But

50:12

Son, when you came in <laugh>

50:14

when you came in two hours ago, good . Said

50:16

it was a good day. You , you came in ice cube , brother

50:19

. You came in ice, ice cube . Today was a

50:21

good day. Right. <laugh> say you

50:23

left , like, who's a rapper that has some, some

50:25

Angry lyrics.

50:25

I don't know . You ended on somebody

50:28

else. You came in on . I'm gonna tell you what , you came in

50:30

Ice Cube,

50:30

You left nwa.

50:32

That's right. <laugh> . Exactly. Perfect. Perfect

50:34

. And so I found myself

50:36

going, huh? But then what he said to

50:38

me was, he is like, yeah. He said, it's just

50:40

easier to say it was a good day than process what I'm feeling.

50:43

And I was like, woo . <laugh>

50:46

. And I

50:48

was like, you having a grown father ? Like I have that every

50:51

day <laugh> . Like it's easier to just

50:53

be like, I'm good. Or it's easier to

50:55

just eat out rather than cook. It's

50:58

easier to do all of these things 'cause we're

51:00

looking for the path of least resistance.

51:03

But

51:03

The

51:03

Problem as, as you just said, Dre, is

51:06

that that's never gonna lead you where you need to go.

51:08

Resistance is important, right? Yes . And so

51:10

I think that's the first layer of appeal, especially

51:13

in the society and the world that we're living in,

51:15

that is very counter to,

51:17

you know, this notion of Mm-Hmm .

51:19

<affirmative> difficult

51:19

Choices and it's already just overwhelmed.

51:22

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , you know , when you live in a world that they're telling you

51:24

to be time oriented, task centered,

51:27

you're gonna have to contend with this space of

51:29

do I choose, you know, how do I make my choices in

51:31

terms of how I invest my effort and my value? Right

51:33

? And then the second piece I wanna add, and this is

51:35

really for the, the doers out there. Those

51:38

of us that are doers, we're checklist oriented.

51:41

It's not for everybody, but those of us that

51:43

kind of fall under that mindset of, I have

51:45

to do, I , I wanna see my checklist each

51:47

day, get, you know, dwindled down. You

51:50

end up fighting for your time because again,

51:52

you're pushing against the, the deadline,

51:54

the due date. And that's frustrating. And

51:57

when we , when we're so hyperfocused

51:59

on checklist, or so hyper-focused on

52:02

, on execution to get something accomplished,

52:04

then you miss the larger benefit

52:07

of the journey. And that's also what my

52:09

bro, bro just pointed out, which is that, you

52:11

know, yes, you may not like taking out the trash,

52:14

but over time, I , I love the story you talk about as , as

52:16

an adult, you think about the state of

52:18

your home and that you don't want

52:19

The

52:19

Smells. Right . But there's a, there's a moment

52:21

where I think every person, once they have their first apartment,

52:24

or once they buy their first home, or they

52:26

even have their own office, or you own your

52:28

own, you know, building, you take pride in

52:30

what you own, you

52:31

Do.

52:31

So that lesson and that training that our parents gave

52:34

us, that responsibility, right. That

52:36

we were learning, that we were frustrated about. Once

52:38

you have your own, that value of this

52:40

is my own, and I wanna take care of it means

52:43

so much more. Right? And

52:45

you can miss the importance of that journey

52:47

when you're so focused on just

52:50

checking off the item on the list. People

52:52

ask me today , they're like, oh, have you ever been to Houston? 'cause

52:54

Houston is a city that's popping. It's been popping,

52:56

but it's really popping now. And every

52:59

time they ask me, bro, bro , I say, no, I've never been to Houston.

53:01

Now here's the truth. I have been to Houston, but

53:04

I went to Houston while I was a student at FMU

53:06

because we were added to a last minute performance

53:08

competition that we weren't expecting to be

53:10

in. And so within a matter of like

53:12

three days, we had to get, you

53:15

know , airlines, hotels. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . We had to get our

53:17

performance together, get our wardrobe. Mm-Hmm

53:19

.

53:19

<affirmative> .

53:19

And it was just a, I

53:21

mean, a circus of chaos to try to not

53:24

only get us ready, but to get to

53:26

Houston. Yeah . And then we were in

53:28

Houston, we did the performance. The performance

53:30

was amazing. We had like two whole

53:32

days after that, before we had to fly back. And

53:34

I can't tell you one thing that we did, right?

53:37

Right. I can't tell you anything about Houston because

53:39

we were so inundated with the execution

53:42

of representing the college well,

53:44

Of

53:45

Representing

53:45

The

53:45

Program well, of making sure we got

53:47

all of our gear that had to be rented back to the

53:49

place. And so I'm sure we went and did

53:51

some stuff in Houston, I'm sure we traveled to

53:54

some things. I was so busy trying to recover,

53:56

trying to rest, trying to make sure everything

53:58

Was done.

53:58

And what happens when you are always focused

54:01

on execution, when you're always focused

54:03

on just getting it done. And that comes

54:06

from, again, not honoring what's easy

54:08

versus what's hard. It's just, I need

54:10

it off my plate. You miss the journey.

54:12

Journey . You miss journey . The value, you

54:15

miss the wholeness of the experience because you're

54:17

so focused on completion or just

54:19

your mindset is, Ugh , I don't want to

54:21

be dealing with this so I can't stop and smell

54:23

the roses. I can't stop and look up and see

54:25

What's

54:26

Around me. And that's what society

54:28

pushes on us because we're so future

54:30

focused that we forget what's actually happening in the present.

54:33

And so that's another appeal of easy

54:35

is I just wanna get it done. I

54:37

just wanna get it finished. Mm-Hmm .

54:38

Right . Mm-Hmm . I

54:39

Just want it to be over. And that's problematic.

54:41

Which is why if you don't look at it from, you

54:44

know, what your parents instilled in you in terms of har

54:46

you know, work ethic and working hard and

54:48

the value that comes with that, even if

54:50

it does require some elbow grease, even

54:52

if it isn't the path of least resistance,

54:55

then there's so much value and worth it , you miss.

54:57

And the last thing I wanna say that I'm gonna , uh, send

54:59

it back to you bro. Bro, is what

55:01

happens when we're execution oriented

55:04

or completion oriented, is

55:06

we negate the fact that what we're seeking

55:09

is effectiveness and efficiency,

55:12

which can be misconstrued as

55:14

easy, effectiveness,

55:17

And

55:17

Efficiency does not equal easy. Right

55:20

. Effective simply means whatever

55:22

I'm doing, I'm going to be successful

55:24

in producing that desired intent,

55:27

outcome or result or outcome. Right. That

55:30

that's how I'm effective. Right. So like if I want

55:32

Malachi to drink more water as

55:35

his mom, I have found it is not effective to

55:37

just simply ask him to drink more water <laugh> . Right.

55:40

Right . It's not going to work. Now I know my

55:42

son is competitive. So what I do

55:44

is I create an entire competition

55:46

in the household. I make sure we all have our

55:49

water jugs. And I say the first person that finishes

55:51

this wins for the day. And you

55:53

know, they , they get bragging rights or whatever the

55:55

case. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> that becomes effective because

55:58

he's 12. He don't wanna drink water naturally. He

56:00

wants soda. Yeah . He want everything else. But now

56:02

what he wants more than soda is to be able

56:04

to brag on his nana and his mom that he smoked us

56:06

that day. <laugh> that he finished . Yep .

56:08

Right .

56:08

Absolutely. And so that's effective. Does it make it easy?

56:10

No. 'cause that means I'm buying each of us

56:12

our own gallon jug of water with

56:14

a time thing on it to know by noon you

56:17

gotta be down to here. Is it easy? No. 'cause

56:19

that means in order to make it competitive, I actually have

56:21

to work <laugh> . Right ? Right . To make

56:23

sure that he could see that I'm drinking the same

56:25

amount of water that I'm requiring him to drink. But

56:27

at the end of the day, if he got a gallon of water and it

56:30

was effective, yes , definitely not easy. But

56:32

it was effective. But it was effective. So you're seeking that

56:34

effectiveness. The other thing you're seeking is

56:36

efficiency and efficiency is not necessarily

56:39

easy. That's trying to achieve

56:41

the maximum productivity with

56:44

a minimal of wasted effort.

56:46

Wasted. That's the key word . Or expense or

56:48

time. Right. So I don't wanna key

56:51

, don't anything. So some of us foolishly

56:53

think that we're choosing the path of least resistance

56:56

or what's easy and you don't even realize you don't

56:58

wasted your effort, you don't wasted

57:00

your expense, you done wasted

57:02

your time. Right. Absolutely . All

57:04

these things are in place . So that doesn't make it easy.

57:07

Going for efficiency is a

57:09

very good thing, which as bro , bro said, in

57:11

terms of what you value and , and work ethic,

57:14

efficiency is a quality value to

57:16

have. It means that I'm going to

57:18

make sure it actually will make your li your life

57:21

easier. It will make your life

57:23

easier in the long run when you

57:25

are actively working hard at being

57:28

efficient. Right . But that doesn't take the elbow

57:30

grease away. And so I , I thought about our mom.

57:32

So, you know, our mom, she's nana to

57:34

Malachi. We, we like to play video games

57:36

with him on PlayStation five. There's

57:38

this game you guys called Overcooked. I love overcooked.

57:41

It's a PlayStation. And actually it may not just be a PlayStation

57:43

five game, but it's on PSS five. It's

57:45

a cooperation game where everybody who plays has

57:48

to work together. And the whole idea is each character

57:50

is working together to finish a meal within a

57:52

certain amount of time and get it served up well.

57:55

So, you know, Malachi and I have advantage

57:57

because we grew up playing video games. Right? Right.

58:00

Nana doesn't have that advantage. She didn't grow, she grew

58:02

up with arcades, if that Right, right . Like she

58:04

didn't have anything at home in her house that was video games

58:07

. So she's taken , you know, one for the team by

58:09

jumping in and learning how to play what

58:11

probably looks like a Lear jet controller to

58:14

her. Right? Right, right. She's sitting down and

58:16

going, okay, there's like 20 buttons.

58:18

And so she plays, so in this game you

58:20

have characters that have to chop the,

58:22

the vegetables and the food and characters have

58:25

to cook it. Those have to serve it. So everybody

58:27

has their role and you have to work together in a cooperative

58:29

manner to execute, you know, and get it finished.

58:32

Right . So Nana just mastered chopping.

58:35

She just mastered chopping <laugh> . Like she

58:37

knows how to get the vegetable and chop it

58:39

on the cutting board and then set it aside. Right.

58:41

We've been playing for a little while. Well, so Malachi

58:44

started getting frustrated 'cause we're getting to the more advanced

58:46

levels. And he's like, Nana, why

58:48

can't you come over here and cook? And she's like,

58:50

grandson, in order for me to

58:52

be efficient <laugh> for , for this

58:55

game to go, well, I'm gonna stick to chopping.

58:57

I know how to chop. I can chop good. I know how to

58:59

chop. I can chop meat, I can chop onions, I

59:01

can chop mushrooms, I can chop tomatoes, gimme anything, I'll

59:04

chop it. But you asking me to go over here on this other side

59:06

and start cooking, I ain't ready for that.

59:08

That's a whole other set of buttons I ain't learned yet.

59:10

<laugh> . And so he was like, man, it would be, I

59:12

said, son, we are not going to win. And

59:15

your game , your your , your energy is to win if

59:17

we are not efficient. Right . Right . N's efficiency

59:20

<laugh> where there will be be no wasted effort

59:22

or time Yeah . Or expense.

59:24

Yeah .

59:24

Let her chop. But you gotta chop. That's

59:26

just it. And so she stays in her lane.

59:28

And that's really the key when we're thinking about the

59:30

appeal of easy real talk, it's

59:32

not easy, is not just making

59:34

it less work. What you're really after is effectiveness

59:38

and efficiency. And here's the real truth of

59:40

that. That still takes work to figure it out in

59:42

every scenario in your life. And so you can't,

59:44

you're not gonna get away from it. You need to put in

59:46

the strategy of how can I be efficient? How

59:49

can I be effective? And that's going to lead

59:51

to the better outcome, which then ideally will

59:53

make your life easier down the line. 'cause

59:55

otherwise you're going and cleaning up right . Where

59:58

you lack efficiency and where you lack the

1:00:00

, uh, you know, effectiveness. And it's just, it's just

1:00:02

the two. Don't, don't exist and , and don't work

1:00:04

together.

1:00:05

Uh,

1:00:05

Those are just two points I wanna add. But that's a

1:00:07

perfect seg segue into the transformational

1:00:09

perspective. 'cause we always wanna present

1:00:11

the counterpoint to whatever

1:00:12

Our, you know, our

1:00:13

Topic is for the episode. And

1:00:15

so here's the thing. The question is,

1:00:17

Bro , bro , who doesn't like easy? Come

1:00:19

On now. Yeah .

1:00:20

Working

1:00:21

Smarter,

1:00:21

Not harder, like what y'all talk about.

1:00:24

Right? So , so going back to that,

1:00:27

'cause we kind of delved into it a little bit, but , but there's

1:00:29

another , uh, but there's an additional , uh,

1:00:31

thought that I have when it, when it

1:00:33

comes to those, you know, who , like

1:00:36

you said, who people who just know I love easy

1:00:38

, easy works for me, right ?

1:00:39

I'm not Finn to work hard, easy, easy

1:00:40

<laugh> . And , and , and the thing about it is,

1:00:43

there's a way that you can work that

1:00:45

shows your intelligence, right? Mm-Hmm

1:00:47

Mm-Hmm, <affirmative>.

1:00:49

Okay . So people who don't like

1:00:51

easy, I'm going to say aren't

1:00:53

necessarily showing your intelligence,

1:00:55

Right? <laugh> . Right ?

1:00:56

<laugh> . Okay. We're really not showing

1:00:59

your intelligence. Just 'cause you took the

1:01:01

easy way out. I know some folk that are doing

1:01:03

a bid in jail taking

1:01:05

Easy

1:01:05

Way out on . Now , was that

1:01:06

Intelligent? Come on . Was it intelligent?

1:01:09

Right? So, so no. Who

1:01:11

doesn't like easy people that don't want to think,

1:01:14

people that don't want to , to use their

1:01:16

brain, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . Think about

1:01:18

it this way. You know, there's , um, there's

1:01:21

a thought that, okay, like I said , there are

1:01:23

people on my job and they're always

1:01:25

taking the easy way out. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , right ? But

1:01:28

we're all connected, right

1:01:30

? So they're easy. Makes

1:01:33

my job what? Harder, harder. <laugh>

1:01:35

more difficult. Yep . Right ? They,

1:01:38

and you know, you know, they , you know, they'll

1:01:40

tell you, no, I'm just, I've got this,

1:01:42

you know, what's that hot button word going around the

1:01:44

workplace? Oh, I got a , I got preference diversity.

1:01:47

<laugh> . Like, I , like, like I, I've

1:01:49

, I'm , I , I'd like to do, I'd like to do

1:01:51

it this way. It brings diversity to the work. I That's

1:01:53

preference diversity, right ?

1:01:55

I'm saying

1:01:55

No , you , you just prefer to be lazy. You , that's

1:01:57

, you prefer to be right. <laugh> . And

1:01:59

, and , and she , right? So the reason why

1:02:02

it's diverse is because the

1:02:04

reason why you can, we want to use these terms preference

1:02:06

diversity is because we're

1:02:08

connected. So that doesn't mean that my heart

1:02:11

is your heart , right? That's the

1:02:13

problem where people who, who

1:02:15

get it wrong, who take the easy way out. Mm-Hmm

1:02:17

, <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . They're looking at my heart and saying,

1:02:19

oh God, I can't do that. But wait

1:02:21

a minute, my heart is my

1:02:23

heart. Your heart's got to be yours and

1:02:25

your heart may , what you think it's hard

1:02:28

for me is me operating in

1:02:30

where I'm gifted, operating in my talent,

1:02:32

operating in my intelligence. And the reason why

1:02:34

it looks hard is because you might not be talented

1:02:37

where I'm talented, you might not be

1:02:39

intellectually sound where I'm intellectually

1:02:41

sound, but it works both ways. I'm

1:02:43

not talented where you are talented, so it looks

1:02:46

hard to me, but for you, it's like, it's not good if

1:02:48

I look hard, but it's doc , I'm just, I'm

1:02:50

in the zone. I'm just doing my thing. This

1:02:52

is how I'm gifted. Mm-Hmm . Right ? So,

1:02:54

so, so what, that's why I say easy

1:02:57

is a, it's what you're looking, it's

1:02:59

, it's your thought. You think it's

1:03:02

easy, it's a thought. It's I'm

1:03:04

gifted. It's your gifted,

1:03:06

it's your it's . And so, yeah, that's

1:03:09

the reason why things look the way they look,

1:03:11

but they're not necessarily that way. So

1:03:14

I , I've , I've got to be able to understand

1:03:16

that taking the easy way out doesn't mean I'm

1:03:18

intelligent. In fact, it's probably the exact exact

1:03:21

opposite. <laugh> . It's probably the exact opposite.

1:03:23

There are too many people walking around here with preferential

1:03:26

preference diversity, right? <laugh> , you

1:03:28

know , it's easy. It's all based

1:03:30

on what I see and not what I'll

1:03:33

become. That's a

1:03:34

Problem. Yes. I love

1:03:35

That you take an easy way out 'cause of what you see, but you're gonna

1:03:37

miss out on what you become. Yes, it's easy. But

1:03:40

watch this. When <laugh> , if I could take a

1:03:42

step further with this Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> preference, diversity thing,

1:03:44

right ? <laugh> , you know, preference diversity can

1:03:46

be based on attraction. Yes . You

1:03:49

also can be based on avers , aversions of both,

1:03:51

right? Mm-Hmm .

1:03:52

<affirmative> ,

1:03:53

But never making a decision on who

1:03:55

you will become.

1:03:56

Right.

1:03:57

Taking the easy way out. I like who I

1:03:59

am. I don't have a need to grow anymore.

1:04:02

Well , when does growth stop <laugh>

1:04:04

? Never. When you

1:04:06

Die for

1:04:06

Real . When

1:04:07

You die, when does

1:04:07

Growth stop? That's exactly right. Growth

1:04:10

stops when you're ready to , you're no longer on this stunted.

1:04:13

Yeah .

1:04:13

That's when it's , that's that's when it

1:04:15

stops. That's good . It stops when you're ready to be stunted

1:04:17

because life keeps going,

1:04:20

which means growth will always

1:04:23

be required. Mm-Hmm .

1:04:25

Will

1:04:25

Always be required. And

1:04:27

so yeah. That's, that's, that's, yeah. Yeah.

1:04:30

That's, that's people who just like it easy

1:04:32

<laugh> , you're basically saying, I'm done growing. I'm stunted,

1:04:34

I'm, I'm good. My arrested development.

1:04:37

That's what you arrested development. There we go. <laugh> . Right, right.

1:04:40

Bottom line is, is hard work promotes

1:04:43

growth, hard work

1:04:47

promotes growth. Right.

1:04:50

And we wanna grow. So with

1:04:52

that, we will jump into the quick

1:04:54

shot.

1:04:55

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So,

1:04:58

so , uh, you know, we are , we

1:05:00

are talking about the, the

1:05:02

benefits of doing it hard and the appeal of

1:05:05

easy. And I've had

1:05:07

to learn that when it comes to,

1:05:09

I, I've realized starting out in life,

1:05:12

I used, you know, if something was hard, I

1:05:14

might say I'm not gonna be able to do it. But

1:05:16

I had to learn that when something is

1:05:18

easy, now I'm learning to say I'm

1:05:20

not gonna be able to do that. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Because there's

1:05:22

a true value in doing , uh, the

1:05:25

hard work. There's a true benefit in doing the

1:05:27

hard work because it's the right work, it's

1:05:29

the right ethic to have, it's the right lifestyle

1:05:32

ethic to have. Uh

1:05:34

, it reminds me of a quote. Um , it

1:05:36

reminds me of something ne Nelson Mandela said,

1:05:38

and I'm gonna quote him here, said,

1:05:39

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> ,

1:05:40

There is no passion to be found in

1:05:42

playing small and settling for

1:05:44

a life that is less than the one you are capable

1:05:47

of living. Mm-Hmm .

1:05:49

<affirmative> . I ,

1:05:49

I , I , the reason why I , I brought that up, learning

1:05:51

how to get out of your comfort zone,

1:05:54

get out of that easy mindset space,

1:05:57

lead you to a life that you're capable of living

1:06:00

because you're finding out what motivates

1:06:02

you and you're challenging yourself

1:06:05

to be better than who you were in

1:06:08

your laziness. And as you

1:06:09

Challenge

1:06:10

Yourself, you find that what

1:06:13

was an easy route turned into

1:06:15

a harder existence. But

1:06:18

when you started taking the harder but

1:06:20

right route, and we've been saying it all

1:06:22

along, mm-Hmm.

1:06:23

<affirmative> , you

1:06:23

Are actually creating an easier existence.

1:06:27

And so you gotta be willing to stop

1:06:30

finding moments to

1:06:32

play small.

1:06:33

Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> ,

1:06:33

Stop settling for those moments to play

1:06:36

small and step up to the big

1:06:38

moments and go hard. Absolutely.

1:06:41

Go hard.

1:06:43

Good . I love it. I love it. All right , so for

1:06:46

the quick shot for me, I'm gonna kind of play

1:06:48

on this notion of curb

1:06:50

appeal versus fixer upper , you

1:06:52

know, the , the mindset of on one end, it's

1:06:55

like, it looks pretty cool, but that's the easy

1:06:57

route versus fixer upper or path

1:06:59

of lease resistance versus road less

1:07:02

traveled, right? <laugh> . Okay. Like these two spaces.

1:07:04

So I think I'll have you say, we'll use the title

1:07:06

of our episode that I'm gonna give you a

1:07:09

scenario and you can either decide, yeah, I'm

1:07:11

not gonna be able to do that <laugh> . Or you could say,

1:07:13

yeah, that , that works for me.

1:07:15

Okay.

1:07:15

All right . Here's the first one. An

1:07:18

attractive woman asks you

1:07:20

out on a date and then you

1:07:22

find out she knows your ex-wife.

1:07:24

Not gonna be able to do it . <laugh>

1:07:27

Not gonna , she's attractive. She,

1:07:29

she , listen , she dime piece , she fine. If

1:07:31

,

1:07:31

If she knows Katina, she knows just how

1:07:34

hard it is to be in a relationship

1:07:35

With me. <laugh> , I don't think she ready for

1:07:37

it . Not gonna be able to do

1:07:39

It. <laugh> . She ain't been hurt my feelings.

1:07:42

<laugh> . Nope .

1:07:45

I should have said attractive, wealthy. I

1:07:47

should've put everything in there <laugh> . It don't

1:07:49

matter. Just shoulda be like , not that we able to do it matter . As soon as you say,

1:07:52

and

1:07:52

She knows Katina , then she knows how hard

1:07:54

it's not to be, not gonna

1:07:56

Be able to do it. <laugh> . All

1:07:58

right , here's another one. You have an

1:08:00

amazing opportunity to launch your own business,

1:08:03

but one of your potential investors

1:08:06

has a recent bankruptcy.

1:08:08

Uh ,

1:08:10

Look at you <laugh>.

1:08:12

'cause you know, there's some folk

1:08:14

Right?

1:08:15

That know how to use bankruptcy to their advantage,

1:08:17

to

1:08:17

Their advantage. Our former president is one, one

1:08:19

of our former presidents. Sorry, one of our, there's

1:08:21

maybe many that have done it . I don't know . Right? Right.

1:08:24

So, so, oh, it depends. Ooh

1:08:26

,

1:08:27

That works for you.

1:08:28

That might work for me. Depends on the,

1:08:30

it depends on how smart the bankrupted

1:08:34

investor is. <laugh> depends

1:08:36

on how intelligent,

1:08:38

I'm

1:08:38

Not able , if the bankrupted investor's intelligent, I

1:08:40

, I can work with that. If they're,

1:08:43

If they've used the loss to their advantage,

1:08:45

<laugh> not gonna be able to do it.

1:08:48

All right ? Not gonna be , there's another one.

1:08:51

Your friend has graciously

1:08:53

agreed to help you jumpstart your workout

1:08:56

plan and he invites you to run

1:08:58

with him. Every morning you

1:09:00

show up and you find out he runs five miles every

1:09:02

day .

1:09:03

Not gonna be able to do it. <laugh> not

1:09:05

gonna be able to do it. Not gonna be able to do it. No

1:09:07

, because he and I you are not committed,

1:09:10

have different, we know he and I got different goals.

1:09:12

He and I got different goals. Okay. We

1:09:15

got different goals. His goals obviously

1:09:17

require him to run five miles a day.

1:09:19

<laugh> , my goals require me to run.

1:09:22

Mm-Hmm . My goals require me to jog. Mm-Hmm

1:09:24

. My goals require me to walk briskly

1:09:27

for 15 minutes a day

1:09:29

. Okay. Okay. <laugh>

1:09:32

. Okay. Not

1:09:34

gonna be able to do it.

1:09:35

My God, this is so funny. And

1:09:37

this one, this next one is actually based on a real, a

1:09:39

real family member in our household. But I'll

1:09:41

, I'll just put it out there. Your sibling

1:09:45

has asked you to borrow your brand new

1:09:47

carpet shampoo and you

1:09:49

know that she just started a

1:09:51

dog care business.

1:09:54

No. Not gonna be able to do it . <laugh> . No

1:09:57

. Nah , no . Uhuh

1:09:59

.

1:09:59

That's one of our cousins in Ohio, by the way. I just wanna

1:10:01

Not gonna be able to do it. Uhuh . Uhuh , you ain't

1:10:04

fitting to ruin my car . My Bissell . No.

1:10:07

<laugh>. No. No.

1:10:10

Oh God . I bought the carpet

1:10:12

shampoo specific to the way my

1:10:14

carpets need to be Shampooed works, right?

1:10:17

The way my carpets are set up right .

1:10:19

<laugh> , the way your doggy daycare

1:10:21

set up . <laugh> <laugh> , you

1:10:24

don't need to buy a shampoo. <laugh> . You,

1:10:26

you need to sign a contract with a shampooing

1:10:28

company that comes out weekly. That's

1:10:31

what you need. You ain't been tear up my missile

1:10:33

. No <laugh> .

1:10:34

No. Oh , I love it. All right , let's do

1:10:36

two more real quick here. Your mother asked you

1:10:38

to drive her to church service that day. You

1:10:41

agree? And then she casually mentions

1:10:43

she has a few errands to run before service starts.

1:10:48

<laugh>.

1:10:50

Okay . Okay.

1:10:51

Now

1:10:52

Lemme say this, lemme say this. <laugh>

1:10:54

. Lemme say this. I'm

1:10:56

going to do it

1:10:57

Right <laugh> ,

1:10:58

Because I don't want to , I

1:11:00

don't want face the Lord or judgment for

1:11:03

not taking my mama to church.

1:11:04

That's a hard work, work ethic. But

1:11:07

What I'm gonna say is, is you got

1:11:09

gas money. Oh no. <laugh> . <laugh>

1:11:11

. Because if you ain't got no gas money,

1:11:14

<laugh> , you ain't going nowhere. But church

1:11:16

it home . That's it. That's

1:11:19

it. You got gas money for all these errands,

1:11:21

right ? <laugh> ? Mm . You

1:11:25

go , we going home and if you got gas money,

1:11:27

I'll be like, did you tithe unto the Lord? Unto

1:11:29

The,

1:11:31

Okay . Okay.

1:11:32

I'm gonna be like, well, let's, let's go ahead and go

1:11:34

to church and then and see how the , the church

1:11:36

service goes <laugh> . Right ? Right

1:11:38

. See , see how that goes first? And then we'll see

1:11:40

how the day transpires. All right . Your

1:11:43

daughter was accepted to a prestigious school

1:11:45

with a full ride scholarship. We'll

1:11:48

say it's like a high school or private school or something . And

1:11:50

in order to accept the scholarship, you

1:11:52

as a parent must agree to volunteer for

1:11:54

25 hours per month.

1:11:58

Oh man. Oh

1:12:00

, that's tough.

1:12:02

That's a tough one.

1:12:03

Oh , 'cause that's five hours will

1:12:06

. Right .

1:12:06

Look at you doing, look at him doing the math. Y'all <laugh>

1:12:08

.

1:12:09

Oh man,

1:12:10

That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot . But you get that full

1:12:12

ride though. That's lot . That full ride to this prestigious

1:12:15

private school. Be ,

1:12:17

Ah , listen, I'm

1:12:20

going to do it, but I ain't gonna like it.

1:12:21

You ain't gonna like it <laugh> . Yeah ,

1:12:22

I ain't gonna like it. I ain't gonna like it Uhuh

1:12:25

. And , and I'm gonna rise to the level

1:12:27

of volunteerism where I'm more

1:12:29

Get kicked out of a

1:12:30

Delegator.

1:12:31

Oh, there you go.

1:12:32

I no , a delegator that

1:12:34

way. Then my five hours, I

1:12:36

could do virtually <laugh> not an

1:12:38

Ra . You gonna create some systems.

1:12:40

I would get one of them green screens where

1:12:43

I'll be at the sports bar on Zoom,

1:12:46

on Zoom, making sure everybody but it , but you

1:12:48

know, the green screen. So it shows like I'm

1:12:50

in a home office while I'm at a sports bar

1:12:52

. You the sports bar , watching the game, <laugh> watching

1:12:54

the game.

1:12:55

You gonna figure out a way to make snacks.

1:12:57

I'll figure it out . Equate to five hours,

1:12:58

Right? I drop off

1:12:59

Snacks and that's my five hours

1:13:00

For the week. <laugh> all

1:13:03

. I love it.

1:13:04

I ain't finna pay on tuition. No, no.

1:13:07

Love it. Love it, love it. All right , bro, bro. Uh

1:13:09

, anything for the final blow?

1:13:13

Absolutely. So again, we are , we

1:13:15

are looking at ethic,

1:13:18

right? Um , so many times when

1:13:20

we're, when we are looking

1:13:22

at a situation that where we have to

1:13:24

do something and we choose to say, I'm not going

1:13:26

to be able to do it. Yeah . It's because of

1:13:28

how we see ourselves in the moment. How

1:13:31

we see ourselves being able to do it or

1:13:33

being able , uh, or feeling like

1:13:35

the value or the , the loss

1:13:37

of comfort is greater than the return

1:13:40

. So we're looking at ourselves, what we're

1:13:42

gonna get, what we gotta do to get it done. Mm-Hmm.

1:13:44

<affirmative> . And ultimately when

1:13:47

it , when we're looking at ourselves,

1:13:49

what we ought to be looking at is

1:13:51

just how great we are and

1:13:54

how doing things makes us,

1:13:56

can build our greatness. Not for bragging

1:13:59

rights, right? Just to simply be

1:14:01

able to keep growing in life. And

1:14:04

there can never be a situation where we look at and

1:14:06

say, I can't do it. I

1:14:09

can't do it. And give in to the easy

1:14:11

route or the lazy or the procrastination.

1:14:14

Um, not when, again, I

1:14:17

I'm me being a man of faith, not when my Bible

1:14:19

tells me that I can do all things through Christ,

1:14:22

which gives me strength.

1:14:25

Yeah . Because ultimately growth is

1:14:27

about getting stronger in

1:14:29

everything. Anytime

1:14:31

we have that moment, there are two routes

1:14:34

we can take. The easy route. The

1:14:36

easy route though says that there's nothing required

1:14:38

of you. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And because there's nothing required

1:14:41

of you, there's nothing that will reward

1:14:43

you. Or I can take the harder

1:14:45

route, the intelligent route, the

1:14:48

right route, because hard

1:14:50

is relative, because

1:14:53

it's relational to you. What

1:14:55

looks hard to you may

1:14:58

be right where you're gifted at doing. So.

1:15:00

If I stay in my giftedness, stay in the passion, stay

1:15:03

in my colleagues , stay in my person , then again, what

1:15:05

looks hard actually

1:15:07

becomes growth. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . I don't

1:15:09

go to the gym lift

1:15:11

lightweights and expect

1:15:14

to grow stronger, right ? I

1:15:16

have to lift the heavy weights . But

1:15:18

what I feel the next day is actually

1:15:21

growth. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And ultimately

1:15:23

what was heavy today becomes

1:15:26

light tomorrow. And that's

1:15:28

what we gotta look at when we're, when we're saying who

1:15:30

do you want to be? Do you want to be the dude that always

1:15:32

takes the easy way out? Then you're

1:15:34

the guy that's stunted arrested in your development

1:15:37

doesn't grow. Or do you want to be the one

1:15:39

that's challenged by the hard things because

1:15:41

you know, growth is coming, you know,

1:15:43

better is coming, you know, a easier

1:15:46

life is coming when I put in the hard

1:15:48

work now. So

1:15:50

for me, that's kind of that, that final blow.

1:15:52

Who do you wanna be? That's gonna let me know if

1:15:54

you're gonna be on the couch or if you're gonna build

1:15:56

character. Who do you want to be? Who do

1:15:58

you want to be?

1:16:00

That is so good. Thank you for the

1:16:02

final blow. So we've come to the end of the episode.

1:16:05

As always, thank you so much for joining

1:16:07

us. Please help us build

1:16:09

the Savage siblings community. We

1:16:11

need you guys to like to share, to

1:16:14

comment, to leave a review, give us a rating,

1:16:17

subscribe, and most importantly, send this

1:16:19

to your favorite Savage siblings. Perhaps

1:16:22

you have an example of easy work and you

1:16:24

think everybody should adopt this easy work. Well

1:16:26

let us know about that. Or maybe you

1:16:28

have your own example of, yeah, I'm

1:16:30

not gonna be able to do it. We wanna hear that as

1:16:32

well. Share all of those stories with us. Huge

1:16:35

shout out to the team that helps us flow

1:16:37

and grow. Each episode. Dwayne

1:16:40

McClendon and Kyle Davis, our sound

1:16:42

editors, Ronnie Maxwell

1:16:44

of Maxwell Music, our music, Maxwell producer,

1:16:48

Keith Cross of Kross Photography for

1:16:50

all the amazing photos. We

1:16:52

love you guys. We thank you. And of course our parents. Thank

1:16:54

you for your DNA and thank you for the funny life

1:16:56

lessons. We wouldn't be here parentals

1:16:58

without you. And last, but certainly not least,

1:17:00

our listeners, we're so glad that you're rocking with

1:17:03

this each and every episode. So we will

1:17:05

see you next time. And remember, don't

1:17:07

go through life alone.

1:17:08

Take care. Bye y'all.