0:01

Hey,

0:01

Mackenzie Johnson here, coming

0:03

to you with a special

0:03

opportunity that the Science of

0:06

Parenting team has going on

0:06

right now. We are collecting

0:09

feedback from you, our listeners

0:09

and viewers, all about last

0:14

season, where we were talking

0:14

about kids and food. We have a

0:17

short 10 minute survey that we

0:17

are going to ask about what you

0:21

thought about last season, what

0:21

you learned the last season. You

0:25

have a chance to kind of give us

0:25

your thoughts on the overall

0:28

podcast, as well as even an

0:28

opportunity to submit a topic

0:33

for us to consider in the

0:33

future. So your feedback is

0:36

going to help us make decisions

0:36

about our podcasts and future

0:39

content. If you are over the age

0:39

of 18, if you are a parent or

0:44

caregiver of a child, and if

0:44

you've listened to any of the

0:48

episodes from last season,

0:48

that's right, even just one of

0:52

those episodes where we are

0:52

talking about kids and food, you

0:56

can find the survey link in

0:56

today's episode description. Or

1:01

you can also find it on our

1:01

social media on Facebook or

1:04

Twitter at the science of

1:04

parenting. Thanks for listening,

1:08

we hope you'll participate and

1:08

enjoy today's episode.

1:22

Welcome to the Science of

1:22

Parenting podcast where we

1:25

connect you with research based

1:25

information that fits your

1:27

family. Well, we'll talk about

1:27

the realities of being a parent

1:30

and how research can help guide

1:30

our parenting decisions. I'm

1:33

Mackenzie Johnson, parent of two

1:33

littles with their own quirks.

1:36

And I'm parenting educator.

1:39

And I'm Suzanne Bartholomae. I'm an associate professor who strives

1:40

to help people increase their

1:43

financial security. And I'm the

1:43

parent of a high schooler.

1:47

Yes. And

1:47

we're here talking, we get to

1:49

talk about high schoolers today,

1:49

right? Yeah, I'll say, we're

1:52

gonna be digging in. We've been

1:52

talking, we're doing a little

1:55

snippet of episodes here in the

1:55

middle related to how to talk

1:59

with our kids about money, but

1:59

at what age of kids. What are

2:02

they doing? What are they

2:02

learning? And so last week, we

2:05

talked about childhood, both

2:05

like preschoolers and

2:08

school-agers and some of the

2:08

things they're learning. And

2:11

this week, talking about teens,

2:11

which this is exciting and scary

2:16

and exciting, but also scary.

2:16

But teens aren't so scary, I

2:22

give them a bad rap. They're not

2:22

so scary. A lot of great things,

2:25

actually, we're going to tap

2:25

into this episode when we talk

2:27

about our teens. So as a

2:27

reminder, last week, we

2:31

introduced this idea of the

2:31

financial capability. And

2:35

remember, there were three

2:35

building blocks. So we talked

2:38

about executive function as the

2:38

first one, financial habits and

2:42

norms, and financial knowledge

2:42

and decision making skills. So

2:46

these are the three building

2:46

blocks of financial capability.

2:49

So we talked about them in

2:49

childhood, we're going to talk

2:51

about them with teens. And then

2:51

next week, we're gonna talk

2:53

about them with another age

2:53

group. So three building blocks,

2:56

executive function, financial

2:56

habits and norms, and financial

3:00

knowledge and decision making

3:00

skills. Right, Suzanne?

3:02

That's right. Yeah. And so something we didn't talk about last week,

3:04

which we both were surprised.

3:08

We're saying, we didn't talk

3:08

about different rates of

3:10

development, an individual

3:10

should, you know, individuals,

3:14

right. So these building blocks

3:14

are accumulating in an

3:18

overlapping fashion is one thing

3:18

I would say about these three

3:22

building blocks. But getting

3:22

back to that importance of

3:25

understanding that each child is

3:25

different in terms of their

3:30

executive function, you know.

3:30

Their impulse control, their

3:33

ability for attention and focus,

3:33

and also their skills, things

3:38

like numeracy skills, again,

3:38

that math being so important,

3:41

and math really emerging in this

3:41

broad period of development. And

3:46

then the other point, I think, that we wanted to make was that we know that development is

3:48

lifelong. I'm still developing,

3:52

especially my executive function

3:52

skills. Being able to, you know,

3:57

delay gratification, who doesn't

3:57

struggle with that, right?

4:00

Mm hmm. Yes,

4:00

when you pointed that out, when

4:05

we started walking through this,

4:05

like, you know, we should really

4:08

tell people that kids develop at

4:08

different rates, I'm like, oh,

4:11

that's probably the expertise,

4:11

like I should have probably

4:13

thought of that. Look, see? But

4:13

so we're telling you now, teens

4:19

each develop at their own rate,

4:19

and all of your children, all of

4:22

the children of all the ages.

4:22

Everybody develops at their own

4:26

rate, based on lots of things.

4:26

But when you were talking about

4:29

this idea of how these building

4:29

blocks accumulate and overlap, I

4:34

was like, oh, yeah, it's not

4:34

like one or the other, right?

4:38

It's not like we did this. And

4:38

then we did that. And then we

4:40

did that. Right. It's like, just

4:40

together and it kind of made me,

4:44

I'm tapping into Lori's skills,

4:44

right. Lori often gave us a word

4:47

picture to explain a concept.

4:47

And I'm kind of picturing like a

4:49

Jenga tower. Right? And so

4:49

there's like this kind of

4:52

foundation. And almost if we

4:52

would even give, really going to

4:56

dig into the details of this

4:56

word picture, like a different

5:00

color for each of these building

5:00

blocks, right? So like maybe

5:03

executive functioning is yellow.

5:03

And since that develops in

5:06

childhood, or a lot of it,

5:06

right, that's where they kind of

5:09

get started in the younger

5:09

years, there might be a lot of

5:11

yellow at the bottom of this

5:11

Jenga tower. And then we trickle

5:15

in these other things, right,

5:15

but it's not, they overlap. So

5:17

it's not like it's all yellow,

5:17

right, there might be green and

5:20

red kind of trickled in. And

5:20

then as it keeps building, then

5:24

we start to see more of, let's

5:24

say, financial habits is green.

5:27

So you start to see more green, but there's still red and yellow blocks in there, right? Our kids

5:29

who are in school age are still

5:32

learning some executive function

5:32

and still learning some

5:35

financial knowledge. But they're

5:35

building a lot of like, they're

5:38

doing a lot of work around

5:38

habits and norms. And then in

5:41

the teen years, I'm gonna go

5:41

red, I guess, financial

5:45

knowledge is going to be red.

5:45

That's the area or they're doing

5:48

all of them because they overlap

5:48

and accumulate, but a lot is

5:52

happening in this financial

5:52

knowledge area for them. That

5:54

building block is a huge one

5:54

that's happening for teens.

5:57

Right?

5:58

Right.

5:58

Yeah. So I absolutely love the

6:00

word picture. I think it's a

6:00

wonderful way to think about

6:04

things. And so yeah, knowing

6:04

that last week when we talked

6:08

about the younger children, that

6:08

that executive function is

6:11

really where the emphasis is

6:11

with the preschoolers so that

6:15

impulse control and abilities to

6:15

check your emotions, right.

6:19

We're not going to be seeing

6:19

that as much in the teen years,

6:21

hopefully. I mean, it's not that

6:21

it's not still there. You know,

6:25

and then the financial habits

6:25

and norms being important in the

6:29

middle school, or middle age,

6:29

middle childhood, middle

6:33

childhood period. Yeah, exactly.

6:33

So when we think about the three

6:37

developmental stages, they're

6:37

really based on again, when an

6:40

individual will commonly acquire

6:40

a particular skill and attitude

6:45

and habits. So again, like those

6:45

numeracy skills, cognitive

6:48

abilities, and attitudes, so

6:48

that's one, I think, big factor

6:54

that our development is based

6:54

on.

6:56

Just their

6:56

rate of development across

6:58

different domains.

6:59

Yeah, your

6:59

maturity, and then that big

7:01

piece for the Jenga blocks, and

7:01

we talked about and, you know,

7:04

thought about this is that when

7:04

a child gets access to financial

7:09

decision making, an experience

7:09

is really going to be key. So is

7:14

the red block of financial

7:14

knowledge and decision making

7:18

coming earlier in the tower? Or

7:18

is it later in the tower. Is

7:21

their, you know, earning money

7:21

allowing, you know, just

7:26

different capacities to be

7:26

built. And, and I think we

7:29

talked about, you know, the

7:29

environment, our family, you

7:31

know, think about the child of

7:31

an entrepreneur and their Jenga

7:35

block, who may be a child who

7:35

goes to, you know, goes to work

7:39

with their parents because

7:39

they're business owners. And so

7:42

they're involved in maybe some

7:42

of the day to day functioning of

7:44

the business, and they're

7:44

picking up communication skills,

7:47

organizational skills, you know,

7:47

all knowledge as well. And so

7:52

their blocks in their color,

7:52

just love the Jenga, their color

7:56

tower is gonna look a little bit

7:56

different. So I think that's a

7:58

really good way to visualize development.

8:00

Yes, well,

8:00

and then, you know, I also hear,

8:03

you know, talking about how it's

8:03

different for each person based

8:05

on, one, their natural

8:05

development rate, but two, which

8:10

we don't necessarily influence

8:10

or have much influence, I should

8:13

say, but then we can influence

8:13

how much access or experience

8:18

they get with financial decision

8:18

making, right, and at which

8:21

ages, but that's going to change

8:21

their tower. So everybody's

8:25

tower looks different. So like,

8:25

my tower versus your tower,

8:28

versus you as a listener versus

8:28

my child versus your child,

8:31

right. Everybody's tower looks

8:31

different in the color, but

8:34

maybe even in the size, right,

8:34

like the number of blocks,

8:37

right? If they have experiences

8:37

where they get a lot of chances

8:40

to try out financial skills,

8:40

they might be getting more

8:43

blocks than someone who, let's

8:43

say, like, I didn't have a job

8:46

in high school. I didn't start

8:46

really managing money until my

8:50

senior year. And that was

8:50

because my mom was like, hey, if

8:52

you're gonna go to college,

8:52

you've got to try something out.

8:57

And so I maybe didn't have as

8:57

many building blocks as some of

9:00

my peers. Yeah, absolutely. And

9:00

even now, don't.

9:05

That's a great example. And we've been talking all season about access,

9:07

right? So access to a financial

9:12

product, access to parent

9:12

modeling with different

9:16

financial decisions and habits.

9:16

Right. So yes, that is going to

9:22

influence the blocks and what's

9:22

in place.

9:25

Absolutely.

9:25

Okay. So a few things that we

9:28

just covered, like all together

9:28

here. We use three building

9:31

blocks of financial capability,

9:31

still talking about those, but

9:35

that there's variation, right?

9:35

There's variation and each of us

9:38

in our own development, and when

9:38

we get these experiences, that's

9:42

a big influence on how and the

9:42

rate at which these develop. And

9:46

so I think that's really important for us, you know, to kind of understand that they

9:47

accumulate. It's not like the

9:52

bottom is all yellow, the middle

9:52

is all green, and the top is all

9:55

red, right? They're overlapping,

9:55

right?

9:58

And it's their parents. You know, the first thing we're told when we

10:00

have an infant, I think, and now

10:02

we're already in the teen years, and we're talking about it, right. And so remember, we

10:03

barely remember what it was like

10:08

to hold our infantht when we get

10:08

to the teen years, but we're

10:11

told, you know, don't compare

10:11

your child to your infant or

10:14

your toddler, your toddler is

10:14

not crawling. Well, let's not

10:17

compare that to someone that's

10:17

walking, because they're on

10:19

their own trajectory. Right?

10:19

Yeah. And that just is

10:22

comforting to know that like,

10:22

it's okay, you know that? Yes.

10:25

And just a reminder, gentle

10:25

reminder that everyone looks

10:28

Mm hmm. And

10:28

in this area, too, right? We

10:28

different. talked so often about like, the

10:32

cognitive, right, like the

10:34

thinking domain versus the

10:34

physical domain of like, how the

10:38

body develops versus the social

10:38

emotional brain, okay, but also

10:42

this domain of like money and

10:42

financial, like knowledge,

10:45

skills, capability, this is

10:45

another domain. And so it's

10:49

okay, if our kids might be

10:49

further, their block tower might

10:53

have more blocks, or their block

10:53

tower might have less blocks,

10:55

for a huge variety of reasons,

10:55

like you said. Environment,

10:59

parenting, organizations,

10:59

experiences, all these things.

11:03

So it could be different. That's

11:03

okay. It should be. It will be.

11:08

Right. All

11:08

the domains that you mentioned

11:11

are feeding into the financial

11:11

domain as well. The social

11:16

emotional development feeds into

11:16

executive function. Cognitive

11:19

development feeds into financial

11:19

knowledge and decision making.

11:23

And so on. So, yes, and that

11:23

accumulative and overlapping

11:30

fashion of all these domains.

11:32

Oh, yes.

11:32

Yeah. Again, they're all

11:34

together. We could use this

11:34

Jenga analogy for all of the

11:39

development, right?

11:40

Oh, my

11:40

gosh, yeah. It's the only one I

11:42

use.

11:43

Yeah, okay,

11:43

everything's Jenga, just

11:45

everything from here on in.

11:45

Okay, awesome. Well, we want to

11:49

dig in to talking specifically

11:49

about teens across these three

11:54

building blocks of financial

11:54

capability. So I'm actually

11:57

going to steal some tidbits that

11:57

Suzanne told me earlier about

12:01

when these start, so if I can

12:01

steal that from you, Suzanne?

12:05

Oh, yeah, I thought it was

12:05

really interesting. So let's

12:08

talk first about this idea of

12:08

executive function. Right, we

12:11

talked a lot about it related to

12:11

preschoolers. But as you said,

12:14

it's still developing all the

12:14

way across, it doesn't stop. And

12:17

so executive function, we start

12:17

developing at age three. But

12:21

here's some of the tidbits

12:21

specific to the teen years. This

12:24

is a table directly from a

12:24

Consumer Finance Protection

12:28

Bureau report, my new bestie, I

12:28

love them. So the few things

12:33

they tell us about executive

12:33

function and teens, what we know

12:36

is that teens are starting to

12:36

demonstrate some more critical

12:39

thinking skills. And that

12:39

affects how they understand and

12:43

use money. I love this one, that

12:43

our teens more than the age

12:48

groups before them, are really

12:48

starting to get some future

12:52

orientation. They're thinking

12:52

about the future. And like,

12:55

right, their brain literally

12:55

processes it in a different way

12:58

than like a 10 year old does.

12:58

That it gets a little more

13:02

concrete and like, okay, if I

13:02

want these things, and I'm

13:05

thinking about wanting these

13:05

things in the future, I will be

13:07

doing things now that affect it.

13:07

So they are starting to get some

13:11

real great skills and knowledge

13:11

related to future orientation.

13:14

And then that future

13:14

orientation, along with the

13:17

critical thinking, they are

13:17

starting to demonstrate their

13:20

ability to plan ahead and delay

13:20

gratification. And even though

13:24

I'm like, yes, look at teens go,

13:24

all this great executive

13:27

function. I'm like, and I think

13:27

a key phrase is start. They're

13:31

starting to, right? They don't

13:31

have it mastered. They don't

13:33

have the lived experience of an

13:33

adult who's learned, like you

13:37

said, school of hard knocks, right, maybe learned the hard way. But they are starting to

13:39

demonstrate this. They

13:42

cognitively are getting there

13:42

and it's a great opportunity for

13:45

us as parents to build on that.

13:45

So I want to talk to you,

13:49

Suzanne, you have a lot of

13:49

insight how this specifically

13:53

relates teens and finances and

13:53

money. So talk about executive

13:57

function and teens. Tell me what

13:57

are your insights?

13:59

Yeah, so just as a reminder, strong executive function makes it

14:01

easier to plan, to focus

14:04

attention, remember details,

14:04

multi-task. So kids, teens are

14:09

starting to demonstrate, you

14:09

know, their ability to do some

14:13

problem solving, maybe to break

14:13

big tasks down into smaller

14:18

chunks, right, so that they can

14:18

manage and plan. They're

14:22

starting to maybe have some

14:22

successes with financial

14:27

planning and goal setting. And a

14:27

lot of that is executive

14:31

function, right? So let's delay

14:31

gratification. And critically

14:36

think about okay, how am I gonna

14:36

accomplish that goal? Right. So

14:41

yeah, and for the first time,

14:41

they might be earning income,

14:45

right. And that's one thing

14:45

about teens is that for the

14:48

first, the last several, the

14:48

last generation or so, have

14:52

really come into a lot of money

14:52

in terms of being actors in the

14:55

economy, right? So they have

14:55

more money at their disposal,

14:58

and they're engaging in the

14:58

economic system more than

15:03

previous generations.

15:05

So that executive function, they're gonna be using it, right? Yeah.

15:06

When they like, we know that our

15:10

teens can have some income or at

15:10

least have access in whatever

15:14

form that comes to some things.

15:14

And so they're gonna be using

15:17

that executive functioning.

15:19

And we continue to.

15:21

Oh, yes,

15:21

yeah, we can say that about our

15:27

Jenga, like word picture of

15:27

like, there's no ceiling in this

15:30

room where we're building our

15:30

Jenga, right? Like it keeps, it

15:33

keeps, like I'm building it,

15:33

you're building it, we're all

15:35

building it.

15:36

Yeah, those

15:36

blocks, we need to always need

15:39

these blocks to shore us up in

15:39

our financial behavior.

15:44

this starts to develop around age six, which is what we said last week,

15:45

right, in middle childhood or

15:51

school agers. They're starting

15:51

to get a sense and develop

15:58

their money persona, if you

15:58

will. A few tidbits from the

16:01

Consumer Financial Protection

16:01

Bureau related to teens and

16:03

their financial habits and

16:03

norms. Developmentally, they're

16:06

starting to have a more positive

16:06

attitude toward planning and

16:09

saving and frugality and self

16:09

control. We love that. They're

16:13

starting to show positive money

16:13

management habits and decision

16:15

making skills. They can make

16:15

spending and saving, I love this

16:19

one, they can make spending and

16:19

saving decisions that are

16:21

aligned with their goals and

16:21

values. I think of my sweet

16:25

school-ager who like every time

16:25

comes into $1 wants to go buy

16:30

candy, right or wants to go make

16:30

this impulsive, in my opinion,

16:35

purchase. But our teens are

16:35

starting to like, you know what,

16:39

actually, I want to do this

16:39

thing. And maybe the value is

16:41

belonging, maybe the value is

16:41

education, maybe the value,

16:44

right? It can look different for

16:44

each team, but they're starting

16:47

to make money decisions. Their

16:47

habits can align with those. And

16:51

then finally, they're starting

16:51

to get confident. They're having

16:55

a little more confidence in

16:55

themselves about their age

16:57

appropriate financial tasks,

16:57

like, I know I'm gonna need to

17:00

put gas in my car, right? And so

17:00

they can start to get confident

17:03

of like, okay, yep, I know I'm

17:03

gonna have gas money. And so

17:06

they're really building some

17:06

confidence in this area, which

17:09

affects their habits and norms,

17:09

too. So that's what they tell us

17:12

about these milestones from the

17:12

CFPB. You had some really

17:17

interesting insight here, though too, Suzanne.

17:19

Yeah. So

17:19

they're really learning about

17:23

opportunity costs and trade

17:23

offs, and some of those

17:25

financial decisions that they're

17:25

making, and do I save my money

17:30

for a personal item, whether,

17:30

you know, something like a cell

17:33

phone or skin products, like I

17:33

mentioned my daughter is really

17:38

into. But they are, you know, we

17:38

talked a couple seasons, I mean,

17:44

episodes about the model,

17:44

Financial Action, and the

17:46

influence of the environment and

17:46

social environment and that

17:51

shapes our habits and our norms

17:51

as well. And so I think we were

17:54

talking about how there's some

17:54

research with teens around the

17:58

Great Recession, when that

17:58

happened, and how they really do

18:01

pay attention. And they worry

18:01

about the economy, at least

18:04

based on the study that, like

18:04

adults, you know, the economy is

18:10

impacting their saving and

18:10

spending, because they indicated

18:12

that, yeah, I'm spending my

18:12

money differently. I'm spending

18:15

less because of the economy.

18:15

They're talking to their friends

18:18

about it. So we may not think

18:18

that teens are paying attention,

18:22

but they really are. And some

18:22

are anxious about it, too, you

18:26

know, or they were at the time.

18:27

Yeah, yes.

18:27

When you shared, you know, the

18:30

first time you shared this when we were walking through this, this insight, I was like, Oh my

18:32

gosh, I do not give teens enough

18:36

credit. Right? I'm giving them a

18:36

bad rap in the earlier part of

18:39

the episode, but that their

18:39

habits and norms were shaped,

18:43

right? They were paying

18:43

attention to the economy, and

18:47

that the way they were actually

18:47

doing things, and again, aligns

18:51

with their values. Right, right.

18:51

And they're saving and spending

18:54

in ways that align with their

18:54

values of, okay, I'm concerned

18:57

that I'm not going to have

18:57

enough money for blank or that

19:00

my saving isn't gonna go how I

19:00

planned because of things that

19:04

are happening in our like, in

19:04

the world. And yeah, they're

19:09

They are

19:09

paying attention. And then

19:09

paying attention. there's another study, and this

19:11

is at the individual level, that

19:14

asked teens like, who is

19:14

responsible for, like whose job

19:17

is it to be responsible for

19:17

money? And more than half say

19:20

that it's their job, and only

19:20

about a third said that I share,

19:23

that it's a shared job between

19:23

me and my parents. Interesting.

19:27

Yeah. Yeah. So again, as we get

19:27

to the teen years, being

19:31

responsible and instilling a

19:31

sense of responsibility, parents

19:35

are doing a pretty good job if

19:35

over half of them are saying

19:38

it's solely. I mean, we want

19:38

them to know that we're there

19:41

for support. But you know, at

19:41

the same time, our goal is to

19:45

get them to independence, which

19:45

we'll talk about next week.

19:48

Yeah, that's the next episode

19:48

rather.

19:50

Yes, it's

19:50

coming. Oh, awesome. Okay, so

19:53

let's talk about this third

19:53

category. So I told you in the

19:57

last episode about the green

19:57

checkmarks, right, of which age

20:00

and which building block are

20:00

they doing a lot of work around?

20:03

And so for teens, this is that

20:03

area. Teens are doing a lot of

20:07

work around their financial

20:07

knowledge and decision making

20:09

skills. So the literature tells

20:09

us, this really starts to expand

20:14

and develop around age 13. So

20:14

right at the beginning of these

20:17

teen years, they're really

20:17

digging in to this knowledge.

20:20

And so here's what we know from

20:20

the CFPB, that teens are

20:24

grasping more advanced financial

20:24

processes and concepts like

20:28

taxes, like investing in part,

20:28

you mentioned because of their

20:31

math skills. They know how to do

20:31

percentages. And like, oh, I'm

20:36

so embarrassed, exponents,

20:36

right, like something squared. I

20:39

was like, there's a word,

20:39

there's a math word. Again, new

20:43

math. Yeah. Right. And so they

20:43

understand investing and they

20:47

can understand some of these

20:47

things in a different way. So

20:49

they're advancing some of the

20:49

more advanced or they're

20:52

grasping some of the more

20:52

advanced skills and processes.

20:55

They're starting to manage their

20:55

own money to reach their goals,

20:59

right? And so part of that is

20:59

their habits but there's also a

21:02

level of knowledge, right? Like,

21:02

I know how to make those

21:05

decisions. And then the third

21:05

little tidbit they had here is

21:08

that, and I think this one is

21:08

really like, yeah, interesting

21:12

for teens, they're starting to

21:12

identify trusted sources of

21:15

financial information. And to

21:15

make decisions and accurately

21:19

process it like, well, actually,

21:19

maybe I don't trust this

21:23

particular source of

21:23

information, or I really should

21:25

trust it. Or I'm not sure so I

21:25

need to figure this out. Like, I

21:28

need to find another source.

21:28

They're starting to really do

21:31

that process for financial

21:31

decisions.

21:34

Yeah, so they're learning how to be good consumers. Right, which, you

21:35

know, we've talked about that

21:38

financial knowledge piece is

21:38

being able to find the unbiased

21:42

and reliable information,

21:42

process it and act on it. And

21:44

again, the acting on it falls

21:44

back and overlaps with the

21:47

executive function. Do you

21:47

follow through on something,

21:49

right? So yeah, so they're

21:49

starting to develop firsthand

21:52

knowledge, right, and skills,

21:52

because their money, they're

21:57

earning money, then it's just

21:57

much more relevant for them. So

22:01

they're making purchases for the

22:01

first time, maybe. Maybe

22:04

earlier, they've had some

22:04

experience. Maybe they're

22:07

opening a bank account, maybe

22:07

they're borrowing. You know,

22:11

we're gonna get to the later

22:11

ages. I mean, this goes all the

22:13

way up to 21. But some are going

22:13

to be borrowing. But there was a

22:17

survey of teens about what they

22:17

want to learn about money. And

22:19

so that would really fall on

22:19

this knowledge category and what

22:21

skills they want.

22:23

I thought

22:23

this list was so, as a parent, I

22:27

don't have teens yet, but as a

22:27

parent, like, what should I be

22:30

teaching them? And so this idea

22:30

of like, what did they actually

22:33

want to know? I love this. So

22:33

hey, parents, listen up. She's

22:36

gonna give us a good list here.

22:37

I am. Well,

22:37

it's interesting list. And then

22:40

also just know that they are

22:40

eager, eager to learn. I don't

22:43

think I mentioned that to you

22:43

that, you know, when we asked

22:45

teens, do you want to learn

22:45

about money, more than half are

22:47

very eager to learn about money.

22:47

So they want to know about how

22:50

financing works for large

22:50

purchases, like cars or homes.

22:54

And again, it gets into that

22:54

relevancy of the information for

22:58

anybody at any age, like, yeah,

22:58

if it's relevant to me, I want

23:01

to know about it. They're

23:01

interested in learning how money

23:05

grows, so about how to invest

23:05

like investing money. They're

23:08

interested in identity theft,

23:08

and how to protect themselves,

23:12

which I thought was surprising.

23:12

And then they just want to know

23:14

the basics of like budgeting,

23:14

checking accounts, and credit

23:17

cards. But I think it is really

23:17

interesting, and it gets back to

23:21

this kind of sense of

23:21

responsibility piece, is like,

23:24

why do they want to know the

23:24

topics? That was a follow up

23:26

question to identify the topics.

23:26

And the top reason the largest

23:31

majority of teens said was that

23:31

they want to know this

23:34

information so that they can pay

23:34

their bills, so they can stay

23:38

out of debt, so they don't have

23:38

to rely on others for money.

23:41

Again, that, you know, I'm

23:41

solely responsible for managing

23:45

my money, not my parents. Being

23:45

able to take care of their

23:48

family, which, you know, that

23:48

sense of community or, you know,

23:52

not just being the self-centered

23:52

teen that we think about, right?

23:55

We don't give them enough credit.

23:56

Right. No.

23:56

And last on the list, like the

24:00

smaller proportion, was that they want to buy things they like, which again, I think we

24:01

probably pigeonhole teens into

24:06

being like, they're selfish and

24:06

they just want to, you know, buy

24:08

stuff for themselves. Well, you

24:08

know, this particular survey did

24:11

not bear out that assumption or

24:11

bias.

24:15

Yes. And I do

24:15

think that's important for us to

24:18

recognize. And again, this is a

24:18

this is research, we always have

24:22

like a dose of reality in here,

24:22

right? Where our kid falls on

24:25

these, which topic, not every

24:25

single kid, we're not saying

24:28

every single kid is interested

24:28

in every single one of these,

24:30

but that these are topics as a

24:30

group that teens might be

24:33

thinking about that we might

24:33

have opportunities or are gonna

24:36

start to think about

24:36

opportunities to start sharing

24:40

this with our teens. And yes,

24:40

their reason may be on the list

24:45

or might not be depending on

24:45

their values and experiences and

24:48

things. So I think that's a

24:48

great opportunity. One thing we

24:52

haven't talked about that, I'm

24:52

like, okay, I feel almost like

24:55

we need a moment to just dig in

24:55

here, is like, what is it, what

24:59

are some things about the teen

24:59

years that are unique related to

25:02

money. You know, some we've kind

25:02

of mentioned in passing, but I'm

25:05

like, okay, this is the age

25:05

where they're allowed to get

25:08

jobs. Right, this is an age

25:08

where they have some

25:11

independence with like, you

25:11

know, they might have a vehicle

25:14

or some of their own form of

25:14

transportation. Their belonging

25:18

is a huge thing in the teen

25:18

years, right? That's like a huge

25:21

developmental, they want to

25:21

belong with their peers a lot of

25:24

the time and so that can

25:24

influence their decision making

25:28

financially. And you also said,

25:28

their access, right? Their

25:32

access to the world outside of

25:32

just what their parents show

25:34

them, right, whether that's

25:34

social media, or the internet,

25:37

or just school in general.

25:37

Anything you'd add that I'm

25:42

like, we've kind of mentioned

25:42

some, but anything you'd add

25:44

that's specific to the teen

25:44

years related to money?

25:47

I think

25:47

that the biggest piece is the

25:51

fact that they're earning. They

25:51

have access to money, and

25:54

whether it's through allowances,

25:54

gifts, or job, however they have

25:58

access to it, so they're

25:58

managing and making their own

26:00

purchase decisions, I think,

26:00

excuse me, independently maybe

26:04

for the first time. Whereas we

26:04

may be more, because we're not

26:07

with them all the time. Right.

26:07

They're out there interfacing

26:10

with society without us unlike

26:10

maybe our elementary school

26:15

children, right, or middle

26:15

school kids. They start to, you

26:20

know, become more independent,

26:20

but we're not really monitoring

26:23

them. So they do have to

26:23

independently be able to make

26:26

some good choices. Yes, yes. And

26:26

I know you like to hit on the

26:32

piece about that we're providing

26:32

safe opportunities to make

26:35

decisions.

26:36

Low consequence.

26:37

Yeah, yes.

26:37

Yeah. So that's, that's the big

26:40

And right, to

26:40

them it might feel very high

26:40

Yeah, yeah, I think it's a good,

26:40

I mean, not a good. It's a great

26:40

piece, too. consequence. I had planned to do

26:42

this thing, buy this purse and

26:46

like these shoes, or I really

26:46

wanted to buy this chair, this

26:50

piece of furniture for my room,

26:50

or this collection of books from

26:54

this author I really like right?

26:54

This album that I like from this

26:59

artist, right? Yeah, they have

26:59

specific financial interests,

27:02

right? They're like, oh, I want

27:02

to spend my money. And yeah,

27:06

that sometimes they might not

27:06

get to, right? They might make a

27:10

decision. Again, it feels like a

27:10

high consequence to them. I

27:14

wanted to do that and I ended up

27:14

going to the movies with my

27:18

friends, or we ended up going

27:18

somewhere and spending money and

27:22

now I don't have enough to do

27:22

that. That's low consequence in

27:26

terms of the scheme of like,

27:26

wow, sometimes the adult

27:30

consequences of things, but it

27:30

can feel high consequence to them.

27:39

observation, really, in terms of

27:39

like, you set a goal, and then

27:43

all of a sudden, you get derailed because of your executive function skills are

27:45

not strong enough, right? You

27:48

don't delay gratification. Right. And that's like, again,

27:49

that starts to develop at age

27:54

three, still developing, not

27:54

done developing, the executive

27:59

functioning for sure.

28:00

Yeah. And

28:00

the variety of interests, I

28:03

think is a really good point,

28:03

too. I think some kids are

28:07

saving for a concert ticket, you

28:07

know, others want to do a sport.

28:11

And so you can be priced in and

28:11

out of those interests depending

28:17

on what it is.

28:18

And that's a

28:18

really great point. There are

28:20

some interests that are wildly

28:20

expensive, right? I even think

28:25

of, I have a friend who her

28:25

parents would joke about. They

28:28

had horses and she was very,

28:28

like, she did a lot of shows,

28:33

she did a lot with their horses and she goes. And her parents used to joke like, this is an

28:35

incredibly expensive hobby.

28:38

Right, like horses, we have to

28:38

feed them. This is different

28:42

than you know, like, books.

28:45

Or tennis.

28:45

Picking up a tennis racket and

28:47

going to, yeah.

28:49

And so every

28:49

interest that our teens might

28:52

have for sure is going to

28:52

influence, yeah, priced in or

28:55

out of based on whether that's

28:55

family income or their specific

29:00

independent income for those

29:00

hobbies and interests. So

29:02

absolutely. Well, this brings us

29:02

to a little more reality here as

29:06

we think about, okay, you're

29:06

telling me all this stuff about

29:08

teens and how they understand

29:08

and kind of don't understand,

29:11

but do understand more than we

29:11

give them credit for related to

29:14

money. And so how do we nail

29:14

this down as a parent? How do we

29:18

really dig in and strategize how

29:18

to talk with and teach our kids

29:21

about money? And so we have two

29:21

strategies this week for teens.

29:24

One, the first is related to

29:24

experiential learning, what you

29:27

were talking about last week.

29:27

Basically the idea of creating

29:30

opportunities and letting our

29:30

kids have opportunities really

29:34

related to money and trying

29:34

things out again. Like I said,

29:37

love to say low consequence. But

29:37

yes, the whole idea of jobs or

29:42

internships or setting their own

29:42

financial goals and interests,

29:45

the more opportunities we can

29:45

help give them, right, the more

29:48

blocks, if you will, of

29:48

financial experiences, they

29:51

benefit from that. And one that

29:51

really stands out to me, I want

29:54

to lean back into all the

29:54

parenting skills we know, I

29:58

think money in particular with

29:58

our teens can be a really

30:01

important place to utilize

30:01

natural consequences. And I

30:04

actually, so often we think

30:04

about with consequences like

30:08

setting consequences, and I want

30:08

to say you have to let the

30:11

consequences instead of set

30:11

them. With a natural

30:14

consequence, sometimes it is

30:14

letting your child experience

30:16

the disappointment of, I had

30:16

planned to save for this and I

30:19

didn't and now I can't do it.

30:19

Now, again, within your reason

30:25

and best judgment, but I think

30:25

sometimes as parents, we are so

30:29

quick to protect our kids from

30:29

disappointment and myself

30:33

included, right? Oh, you're so

30:33

sad and I can fix this for you.

30:37

Right? Like I talked about teaching my daughter about tax, she wanted to get that thing and

30:39

she didn't have enough money and

30:44

yes, I could have purchased it.

30:44

I did have the funds right there

30:47

that I could. And I needed, I

30:47

felt I needed to let her

30:50

experience that natural

30:50

consequence, that disappointment

30:53

of you chose something that cost

30:53

too much and you can't afford

30:55

it. And so I do think that's an

30:55

important experiential learning

30:58

opportunity for our teens. What

30:58

would you add about experiential

31:02

learning for teens, Suzanne?

31:04

Oh, well,

31:04

the phrase financial apprentice,

31:11

the idea that, you know, you

31:11

could consider your teen your

31:14

little financial apprentice, if

31:14

you really want to try and give

31:17

them some experiences and

31:17

experiential learning, so that

31:20

they become more financially

31:20

capable. So teaching them how to

31:24

pay a bill, showing them how you

31:24

pay the bill, have them pay the

31:27

bill for you online. You know,

31:27

that's one example of

31:31

experiential learning. Simulate,

31:31

yeah. And in schools and

31:35

community organizations, a lot

31:35

of teens will get experiences

31:38

with simulations. And that's, I

31:38

know, not giving them the

31:42

natural consequences. It's

31:42

actually again, a safe

31:44

opportunity.

31:46

They're creating a low consequence experience. The experiences they

31:47

didn't do well, or maybe get

31:52

what they wanted in a simulation, that's very low consequence. That's great.

31:55

Yeah, yeah. And we actually use it for adults, too. So we have a

31:56

retirement planning simulation

32:00

where you know, okay, you get

32:00

your scenario of who you are and

32:04

who your persona is. So like,

32:04

with kids, we do it like, Okay,

32:06

this is your profession, this

32:06

was the amount of money you

32:09

make, and now you're gonna go

32:09

and in this safe environment, go

32:12

shop the realities of what life

32:12

costs, so housing, selecting

32:17

your where you want to live,

32:17

what you want to drive, what

32:20

your hobbies and interests are,

32:20

right? What you can afford to

32:22

do. We do the same thing with

32:22

retirement. So here you are,

32:26

you're a person in retirement,

32:26

and you didn't save for

32:29

retirement. And so you have this

32:29

many beans, and you have all

32:32

these expenses, and they change,

32:32

you know, over time. Expenses

32:37

become more, right? Um, yeah,

32:37

tend to increase the older we

32:41

get. We want to maybe do certain

32:41

interests and hobbies, even as

32:44

older adults, right? Yes,

32:44

traveling or whatever the hobby

32:48

is and you can only do a certain

32:48

amount if you don't prepare a

32:52

plan and, you know, have the

32:52

resources for it.

32:56

I love the

32:56

idea. Yeah, the idea of

32:59

simulations as experiential

32:59

learning, and yes, whether that

33:01

is organizations or schools

33:01

often do that. But we can even

33:05

kind of do that in our family,

33:05

you know, like a low tech

33:08

version, if you will. Okay, try

33:08

to figure this out, you know,

33:12

passing the, I don't wanna say

33:12

passing the buck, but like

33:15

passing the opportunity to our

33:15

teen to maybe, okay, we've got

33:19

this tough financial decision to

33:19

make. What's going to influence

33:23

this decision for us? And I love

33:23

that term of financial

33:26

apprentice. I'm almost like

33:26

that's a mindset, right? I don't

33:29

even have to think specific

33:29

action as much as if I think

33:32

about my teen is my financial

33:32

apprentice. It helps me seek

33:38

opportunities, right? If I think

33:38

about like, my job is to teach

33:41

this apprentice, if I'm

33:41

mentoring someone at work, or

33:43

maybe in school, if I'm a

33:43

mentor, those types of things.

33:46

If I think about my teen that

33:46

way, I can think of a lot of

33:50

opportunities I would maybe seek

33:50

out. So I love that term.

33:53

Yeah, I think it is a really good way to frame it, too. Mm hmm. And just

33:55

a gentle reminder for parents,

33:59

right? Like, yes, keep engaged

33:59

with them and try and give them

34:03

those opportunities.

34:05

The literature tells us a lot of teens want, yeah, want to learn

34:07

those things.

34:10

They do. They're eager.

34:11

Yes. Okay. So

34:11

then the other strategy for

34:14

teens and again, I think

34:14

everything in this episode,

34:17

everything's interesting to me,

34:17

because I don't think I knew a

34:19

lot of it before. But this

34:19

strategy about teaching

34:23

financial research skills for

34:23

teens, that we can help them,

34:27

right? How are you going to make

34:27

this decision? How do you

34:30

comparison shop? How do you

34:30

decide between getting a service

34:34

from this place or getting a

34:34

service from that place? And so

34:37

I feel like some of those

34:37

skills, I don't always think

34:40

about that. That that's an

34:40

active thing we can teach is

34:45

that discernment and that

34:45

research of figuring it out.

34:49

Oh, yeah,

34:49

yeah, so again getting back to

34:52

we're really trying to raise

34:52

consumers, right, good

34:57

consumers. To be a good

34:57

consumer, you need to have

35:00

information literacy, right,

35:00

knowing what reliable

35:03

non-commercial, non-biased

35:03

information is. And so being

35:08

able to have research skills is

35:08

a big part of being a good

35:11

consumer, right. And then again,

35:11

making intentional decisions

35:14

like you said, so we know that

35:14

our teens can research, you

35:18

know. They are on social media,

35:18

they look things up, you know,

35:21

again getting back to the

35:21

personal interests, like they

35:23

might search something on the

35:23

internet to try and learn more

35:26

about something, or try and find

35:26

a friend, you know, in social

35:31

media. That can also be applied

35:31

to a financial topic, like

35:35

what's the best credit card you

35:35

can find at this point with the

35:39

best interest rate? And just

35:39

takes a couple of questions, you

35:45

know, while you're searching out

35:45

information and be able to

35:47

compare and contrast, that

35:47

comparison shopping that you

35:50

talked about? Yeah. So. So

35:50

there's evidence that the kids,

35:54

they have some money, they like

35:54

to spend their money, and so

35:58

they should be researching some

35:58

of those decisions that they're

36:01

making. Absolutely. And make

36:01

sure they're getting the best

36:04

buy, right? Like that rule? Yes.

36:04

The rule of three, is that what

36:06

you were gonna bring up, the rule of three?

36:08

I was not, Suzanne, I was not headed there.

36:10

Okay. Okay.

36:11

But you can.

36:11

I want to hear you remind

36:14

everybody about it.

36:15

The rule of three, if they're really interested in different personal

36:16

items, let's say they want to

36:18

get a cell phone, or they want

36:18

to, you know, buy whatever item

36:23

it is they want to buy. So you

36:23

want to get the best price as a

36:26

consumer, right? You want

36:26

quality, you gotta be able to

36:28

compare quality and price, that

36:28

trade off. And so yep, the rule

36:31

of three, you want to get three

36:31

prices from three different

36:34

companies? Yeah.

36:35

Yes. So I was

36:35

gonna go, it actually ties in

36:38

nicely. So this works. But

36:38

you've mentioned the idea you

36:42

kind of mentioned it a little earlier in the episode, but we didn't say it explicitly, this

36:43

idea of making the experience

36:47

concrete, right. So like, the

36:47

just in time, the relevant

36:50

teaching moment, that as we

36:50

think about helping our kids,

36:55

our teens with these research

36:55

skills, or with experiential

36:57

learning, that it's like

36:57

something that's relevant to

37:00

them right now. Right? So not

37:00

necessarily, let's go look up

37:03

mortgage rates. And where are

37:03

you gonna get a house loan,

37:06

right? But okay, you're

37:06

interested in getting a vehicle,

37:09

right? Or you're interested, I'm

37:09

like, in Iowa we have a lot of

37:13

mopeds. I have a lot of mopeds

37:13

in our town, right? So I'm like,

37:16

okay, you're interested in a

37:16

moped. Let's research that,

37:19

right. And using those skills in

37:19

the kind of, relevant interest,

37:23

relevant moment, is something

37:23

you've kind of highlighted as

37:26

important too, right?

37:27

Yeah, for

37:27

teens or adults, we find with

37:30

financial education that if

37:30

we're going to keep them

37:32

interested, it has to be

37:32

relevant to them. It has to be

37:34

timely, a timely decision that

37:34

they're making. So in the case

37:38

of teens, they're interested in

37:38

independence because they're

37:41

able to get their driver's

37:41

license, right, school permit.

37:44

And so they want to have some

37:44

kind of transportation. And so I

37:47

think your example is a perfect

37:47

example of you can have them

37:52

research all the expenses of

37:52

having a car, right? What's it

37:55

going to cost in gas? What about

37:55

insurance?

37:58

and oil changes?

37:59

Oil changes, maintenance, right? Yes. And just the car itself? So

38:01

yeah, and I think that it's a

38:06

great opportunity for kids to

38:06

put their good research skills

38:11

to use and planning. But yeah,

38:11

we can't just sit down and

38:15

they're like, yeah, let's learn

38:15

about mortgages.

38:17

Yes. I've

38:17

seen this interesting movement

38:20

of like, I feel like I've

38:20

noticed it on social media, of

38:24

teens doing actual PowerPoint

38:24

presentations to their parents

38:29

when they want something, right.

38:29

So they'll have but like, it's a

38:32

movement that parents have said,

38:32

okay, you want to do this, show

38:35

me you've done your homework. And I think that's really fascinating of, okay, you're

38:37

interested in getting a cell

38:41

phone? Maybe I'm on the fence

38:41

about that decision, or

38:46

upgrading to a certain cell

38:46

phone or right, whatever the

38:50

choice is, that they have to do

38:50

a PowerPoint or have to do some

38:54

kind of presentation of what

38:54

they know, that they've

38:57

researched, that they've done

38:57

their due diligence. That's

38:59

experiential learning and

38:59

teaching research skills.

39:02

It is. I'd

39:02

heard, I have heard the same

39:05

thing about PowerPoints and

39:05

yeah, you gotta sell me on this

39:08

idea of what you want and it

39:08

better be research based. Yeah,

39:13

but you know, and because we

39:13

mentioned that this age, they

39:17

might be entering the labor

39:17

market for the first time, if

39:19

they haven't already. That's

39:19

another great research

39:22

opportunity to say, if I get a

39:22

part time job at x, you know,

39:28

what are the hours? What's the

39:28

pay? Are there any benefits? You

39:31

know, are they closed? Like, I

39:31

look at certain businesses, I'm

39:34

like, well, you know, they don't

39:34

work during these hours, or

39:37

they're closed on these days. So

39:37

you know, this works into a

39:40

schedule, and it's kind of a

39:40

benefit. So I think that would

39:43

be another good opportunity for

39:43

teaching research skills.

39:47

Oh, yes.

39:47

Absolutely. Yes. How much money?

39:49

Or even like, I'm in an

39:49

extracurricular activity. Is

39:52

this place friendly to that?

39:53

Yeah,

39:53

flexibility of scheduling. Yeah.

39:57

A lot of

39:57

really great opportunities to

39:59

help build these skills, because

39:59

they're eventually going to

40:03

become adults. And so we want to

40:03

help them have these experiences

40:07

and skills, low consequence. If

40:07

they're going to learn from hard

40:11

knocks, I hope as a parent that

40:11

I can, if we're doing

40:15

experiential learning the hard

40:15

way that it's not to their

40:19

extreme detriment.

40:23

You're such a loving parent that way.

40:24

Oh, I hope. I

40:24

hope that's what it is. But so

40:29

two really important strategies

40:29

we can tap into for teens is

40:33

teaching these financial

40:33

research skills as one of them

40:37

but also still thinking about

40:37

experiential learning, letting

40:41

them have these opportunities of

40:41

natural consequences, creating

40:44

them, or encouraging them to get

40:44

involved in places where they're

40:46

at school. Maybe helping them

40:46

opt into an elective that you

40:50

know they might get some of

40:50

these opportunities or

40:52

something, but great

40:52

opportunities to engage with our

40:55

teens.

40:56

And then a final one, the whole financial apprentice idea of mentoring, of

40:58

mentoring your teen through a

41:02

lot of these decisions and

41:02

products or whatever it might

41:07

be.

41:07

Yes, I'm so

41:07

glad you said that one too, the

41:10

financial apprentice. And I also

41:10

feel like that reminds us that

41:14

we're modeling every second,

41:14

right? If we think of that, I

41:17

have this little apprentice

41:17

following me around for any

41:21

financial things and like, ooh,

41:21

if I make this choice with them,

41:25

or in front of them. Yeah. Love

41:25

that financial apprentice. Okay,

41:29

love that. Well, we're mixing it

41:29

up this week for our Stop.

41:33

Breathe. Talk. segment. Usually,

41:33

we've been having Mackenzie

41:37

DeJong, our podcast producer,

41:37

come in. This week, we have our

41:41

friend and colleague, Barb. So

41:41

in previous seasons, we love to

41:45

ask Barb. Barb, what are you thinking?

41:49

I am thinking

41:49

what a great segment you gave me

41:54

because we've been talking here

41:54

about teens and you've been

41:57

talking about parent modeling.

41:57

And you're leading me right down

42:02

what I want to talk about.

42:02

Perhaps something we haven't

42:09

touched on is, could there be

42:09

conflict in spending with our

42:14

teens? There could be.

42:17

There could

42:17

be. But what I want us to focus

42:17

There could be. a little bit on is exactly what

42:20

you've been talking about in

42:26

terms of parental monitoring.

42:26

Parents who are watching what

42:31

their kids are spending, or who

42:31

have a little bit of knowledge

42:37

about maybe what their kids want

42:37

to be buying. When those parents

42:40

Oh, yes. Big

42:40

feelings.

42:43

then model their own ability to

42:43

spend around a budget, or save

42:48

because of a budget, they model

42:48

those things for their teens and

42:54

those teens see those things. So

42:54

what I want to talk about in

43:00

terms of conflict is this. If we

43:00

have a situation where maybe a

43:05

teen spent some money that we as

43:05

an adult might think was

43:11

extravagant, or wasn't the best

43:11

use of resources, or we should

43:16

have saved that money as opposed

43:16

to spend it. If we start yelling

43:22

and shouting and getting upset,

43:22

I don't know that the teen is

43:28

going to hear the second part of

43:28

our comments about why and what

43:33

could we do differently next

43:33

time? Or how can we resolve this

43:39

conflict? But if we can stay

43:39

regulated as adults first and

43:44

then start a conversation about,

43:44

let's talk through this a little

43:48

And big

43:48

feelings, big feelings. But what

43:50

bit. Let's talk about, you know,

43:50

this spending that happened, and

43:56

why we made the decision to

43:56

purchase what we purchased.

44:01

Maybe it was a concert ticket,

44:01

like you mentioned, Suzanne, and

44:07

maybe we want them to kind of

44:07

talk through that future

44:12

planning that they're getting

44:12

good at. They're, you know,

44:17

they're able to start looking

44:17

ahead to the future. And maybe

44:22

as a parent, I need to say to my

44:22

child, I wanted you to use some

44:28

of that future planning because

44:28

you know, you have some places

44:34

you want to go and you want to

44:34

take the car, but you're going

44:39

to have to use those resources

44:39

for gas. And now because you

44:44

bought the concert ticket, now

44:44

we don't have the resources, you

44:50

don't have the resources for

44:50

your gas. And so being calm and

44:56

regulated as you have those

44:56

discussions is going to help

45:01

that young person stay regulated

45:01

also. Now maybe in the

45:06

beginning, they're going to feel

45:06

upset that you're calling them

45:11

out and that's uncomfortable.

45:11

But if we can all stay

45:16

regulated, our executive

45:16

function will kick in. We'll be

45:17

we can do is just to remind

45:17

ourselves first, let's stay

45:21

able to make some comments

45:21

about, well, here's what I was

45:26

thinking. And you know, you're

45:26

right. You're right. Maybe I

45:32

didn't use the best judgment

45:32

here. What could we do? Help me

45:35

regulated so that we can come

45:35

out on the other end with a

45:37

problem solve what we can do

45:37

next time or what we can do now

45:40

positive result. Yeah, so those

45:40

are, those are the things I was

45:43

to solve what's going on. But

45:43

that whole point of conflict

45:46

kind of thinking about as you

45:46

were having that great

45:48

around money can bubble up.

45:49

discussion today.

45:50

Oh, that's

45:50

such a good point. Because we,

45:53

as parents, we can, right? It's

45:53

like, why did you do that? It

45:57

can be easy to get frustrated

45:57

about it. And that's such a good

46:00

point that the conflict is going

46:00

to happen where our values and

46:03

theirs maybe, or our goals for

46:03

them, and their goals aren't

46:06

going to align. And that's such

46:06

a good point to like, we do want

46:09

to think about staying regulated

46:09

in those conversations so they

46:12

can hear us.

46:14

Right.

46:14

Really valuable, Barb, I love

46:17

it. And especially around money,

46:17

that's one of the more difficult

46:20

topics to stay regulated about.

46:20

Right? It's one of the largest

46:24

areas, I mean, a very frequent

46:24

topic of discussion,

46:27

disagreement, conflict in

46:27

families and between couples.

46:31

Suzanne,

46:31

you're so right, even as couples

46:34

try to discuss finances. And

46:34

again, going back to that

46:39

modeling, if kids see their

46:39

parents or caregivers being able

46:45

to discuss money in

46:45

self-regulated ways, that's

46:51

gonna go a long way toward their

46:51

own ability to manage money and

46:57

to discuss money topics in the

46:57

future in self-regulated ways.

47:02

Yeah.

47:03

Barb, I

47:03

mean, there's evidence of, you

47:05

know, normalizing the money

47:05

topic in the family. There's

47:10

evidence that it's linked to

47:10

marital and partnership, like

47:13

intimate relationship quality,

47:13

later on. So you know, it's just

47:17

the ability to communicate about

47:17

something that might be a

47:20

trigger topic or hot topic and

47:20

so that carries forward to

47:25

relationships. Great point. Love

47:25

it.

47:28

Awesome. Barb's talking all about financial socialization. Yeah,

47:30

you are, Barb. Awesome. Thanks

47:35

so much for hopping in with us

47:35

today and talking about what

47:38

you're thinking about teens and

47:38

money. Teens and money.

47:42

You're welcome.

47:43

Aw thanks,

47:43

Barb. So that kind of wraps us

47:47

up today thinking all about,

47:47

like I said, teens and money,

47:50

how do we talk with them? What

47:50

are we talking with them about?

47:53

And so we learned about, you

47:53

know, a lot of the development

47:56

they're doing. We have our Jenga

47:56

blocks, right, that they're

48:00

intermingling and up to this

48:00

point, right. They've built some

48:03

of their executive function, and they've built some of their habits and norms. And in this

48:05

teen years, they are really

48:09

building a lot of their

48:09

financial knowledge. So we can

48:12

tap into that opportunity by

48:12

thinking about them as our

48:16

financial apprentice, by helping

48:16

them learn some financial

48:20

research skills, and by helping

48:20

create, and as I said, letting

48:24

them have these financial

48:24

experiences and experiential

48:28

learning. So so much good stuff

48:28

here. Yeah, the opportunity to

48:32

stay regulated in these

48:32

conversations with our teens is

48:35

so important. So what's coming

48:35

next week, Suzanne?

48:39

Well, in

48:39

our next episode, we're going to

48:42

talk about how to talk about

48:42

money with young emerging

48:46

adults. And so today's

48:46

information was the age of 13 to

48:53

21. So there's going to be a

48:53

little bit of overlap of what we

48:55

talked about in a way today

48:55

because you know, teens and at

48:59

19, right, and emerging adults,

48:59

those two years. So we will be

49:03

talking about the emerging

49:03

adults next week.

49:05

Yes, we know

49:05

there's so many, a lot of

49:08

parents have questions about

49:08

this time period that's kind of

49:12

ambiguous, like it's kind of

49:12

like, well, are they adults?

49:15

Should they have this

49:15

responsibility? Should I help?

49:17

Like there's a lot of questions,

49:17

confusion for parents in this

49:21

young adult age group when their

49:21

kids are at that age. So we're

49:24

gonna dig into all that good

49:24

stuff next week. But for today,

49:27

thanks for joining us on the

49:27

Science of Parenting podcast.

49:31

Like I reminded you last week,

49:31

we have lots of great stuff on

49:33

our website, where it's broken

49:33

down by age. So if you've got

49:36

questions about teens, you can

49:36

head to scienceofparenting.org

49:41

and find lots of great resources

49:41

on our teen web page.

49:45

Yeah, so

49:45

come along as we tackle the ups

49:49

and downs, the ins and outs, and

49:49

the research and reality all

49:52

about the Science of Parenting.

49:54

The Science of

49:54

Parenting is hosted by Mackenzie

49:57

Johnson, produced by Mackenzie

49:57

DeJong, with research and

50:00

writing by Barbara Dunn Swanson.

50:00

Send in questions and comments

50:03

to [email protected] and

50:03

connect with us on Facebook and

50:09

Twitter. This institution is an

50:09

equal opportunity provider. For

50:13

the full non-discrimination

50:13

statement or accommodation

50:15

inquiries go to

50:15

www.extension.iastate.edu/diversity/ext.