0:01

Let me free you. Here's what the scripture

0:03

says. Vengeance is mine, said the Lord of

0:05

Hosts. What you should be focusing on is

0:07

not your victim and stand down. Because if

0:09

you keep your victim down, you've got to

0:11

stay down with your victim. What you should

0:13

be focusing on is living an abundant

0:15

life. And there are people who

0:17

I know who are, I don't even think

0:20

people are envious or jealous of us. That's not what

0:22

they are. They are hurt that

0:24

they never figured it out. And

0:28

you figured it out. And I

0:30

won. You

0:35

ready? All right. What's

0:38

going on, world? Welcome

0:50

to another edition of the Secrets to Success

0:52

podcast. I'm your host, CJ. Joined us always

0:56

by Douglas. I got Douglas

0:58

in the building. Let me be real. Y'all know what time

1:00

it is. It's called varsity. You

1:03

know what I'm saying? Again, for those of y'all

1:05

who don't know, you play varsity.

1:07

That's when the real magic happened.

1:09

JV, you know, you clap. Shout

1:12

out to Carl and Ma. We love y'all.

1:14

Ma is rolling over here. What

1:17

your boy said, Ma, rolling over in this grave.

1:19

Rolling over. Oh, that's the only time I can

1:21

actually joke. He's not here to go

1:24

crazy. So no, shout out to Carl

1:26

and Ma. But they're not here. So it's us.

1:28

You got us. Douglas, how

1:30

you feeling, man? I'm blessed, bro. It's a

1:32

good season, man. Fantastic. A good season. Yeah.

1:37

You sent me a few texts this week. So

1:40

I want to figure out exactly where we're going

1:42

to go. Yeah, you tell me. Just pick one

1:44

of them. OK. Pick one of them, and I'm

1:46

going to go off on it. Yeah, so man.

1:49

And I don't even want to jump right in,

1:52

but I think we got to. One

1:55

of the things that you said was, man,

1:58

I can't remember exactly how you phrased it. but

2:00

you can't help a victim

2:03

who want to stay a victim. And

2:05

it, you know, and again, you use the analogy we

2:07

was talking to users kind of like, yo, it's

2:10

like somebody drowning in the middle of the lake

2:13

and you send, you know, a boat. Yeah.

2:16

And they, and they like, no, no, no, I'm, I'm, I'm

2:18

good. And they said, you know

2:21

what I mean? Like they just keep, you

2:23

keep sending opportunities and life, you know, supports

2:25

and you get nothing.

2:28

And man, it's

2:30

crazy. And I talked about it a

2:32

little bit, but you can expand on it. How we talked

2:34

about like people want the

2:37

illusion to help. You

2:40

know what I'm saying? Like, and I, I, again, I

2:42

had a bunch of people hitting me up. That's why

2:44

I was like, yo, we got to break this down.

2:47

And they was like, well, what do you mean? You know, the illusion

2:49

to help where they want, you know, they want advice. They

2:51

don't want to apply the advice. They want more

2:53

advice. You know what I'm saying? So real quick,

2:55

I know you had some, I don't know if

2:57

you had some. Yeah. No, no, no. So the

3:00

first thing I want to say is this message

3:02

is for entrepreneurs.

3:04

Like this is, this is not for

3:06

people who are lazy. This

3:08

is not a message for people who don't want to handle

3:11

their business. Like this is actually

3:13

a message for people who are.

3:17

I want to, I want to phrase it properly.

3:20

I want to say at least mentally

3:24

about the grind. Yeah. Right. Like

3:27

they have a concept of what

3:30

entrepreneurship is, you know, um,

3:33

what they want to accomplish, what they want to

3:35

do. So this isn't for lazy people. This isn't

3:37

for people who not trying. This isn't for people

3:39

who give them forever. This is for folks. You

3:41

didn't, they went to, you didn't went to school.

3:43

Yeah. You didn't got training. Like

3:45

you, you really are about that

3:47

life in terms of

3:50

your thought process. Now I want to give

3:52

an example so that people are clear. This

3:55

is like that kid in college

3:57

whooping, like he going to

3:59

every. practice. He lifted weights,

4:02

right? He doing everything he's supposed to be

4:04

doing. He had every game. He, you know,

4:06

he, he doing his thing, but

4:09

he had an HBCU. He ain't started where you

4:12

say he going to the NBA. You

4:14

feel me? And it brought this like, it's, it's,

4:17

it's real, bro. It's like, okay. So

4:20

you say I can't go to the NBA

4:22

from HBCU. Yeah. But

4:24

you start. I

4:26

mean, at least you started and I'm saying

4:28

you start and you put up and you,

4:31

the horizon Verizon league

4:33

player, the other millennial.

4:35

Now back in the day, they used to go

4:38

a little bit more often. Like you had Shannon

4:40

sharp J right. I'm talking about NBA or NBA

4:42

NFL. Yes. NBA.

4:44

Not, it's not likely. It wasn't a lot

4:46

of cats. No, I had a little humming.

4:48

He know who he is. I ain't going

4:50

to bust his name out on the pie,

4:52

but yeah, he was second,

4:55

third string backup point guard for

4:58

a, I'm just saying, are you

5:00

good? HBCU? I was like, yo, what's

5:02

your plans? Like after graduation, it

5:05

was like, man, the league, I

5:07

was like, which league delusional

5:09

bro? Which league delusional, delusional.

5:11

Cause you got cats at

5:14

Michigan state universe. Yeah. Who

5:16

started four years in a row. Yeah. Who

5:19

didn't make it to the league or

5:21

who was, who was big 10, whatever

5:24

got to the league and didn't last

5:26

in the land. So, so

5:28

I'm talking to those of you who are, you

5:31

know, you really got dreams. You got, you got

5:33

hoop dreams, you got goals. And we're not talking

5:35

about basketball. I'm talking about whatever you

5:37

doing in terms of entrepreneurship, but here

5:40

go to challenge though. You

5:44

don't want to deal with the harsh

5:46

reality of how difficult it is to

5:49

actually be an entrepreneur who's successful. Yeah.

5:51

Like, so what, what, what, so what

5:53

you do, cause you don't want to

5:55

deal with how difficult it is. What you

5:57

do is now make other people, you

5:59

know, the challenge or the problem, right? Instead

6:01

of dealing with... That's what a victim intelligence

6:04

starts to creep in right there. Bro, because

6:06

I'm just being real. I mean

6:08

this with all my heart. Bro,

6:10

it's tough. Like, let's just talk

6:13

Kaitlyn Clark. Is that what it is? Iowa.

6:17

Bro, she putting up 30 points,

6:20

40 points. Yo,

6:22

the reality is, even if you put up 30, 40,

6:26

you still went to two final

6:29

fours and didn't win. It's real,

6:31

bro. You can't ask her

6:33

to do no more. You can't ask

6:35

her to practice no more. You can't

6:38

ask her to... Bro, you look at

6:40

her squad versus South

6:42

Carolina. I'm just talking about other... You

6:44

got great players on both teams, but

6:46

you're talking about six, seven, bro. You

6:48

got three people. It's what our coach

6:51

said. Coach was like, look, look, let's

6:54

be real. And I think that's

6:56

what separates successful entrepreneurs from people

6:58

who are victims. Bro, I thought

7:01

our coach said it, superb.

7:04

She did not make no excuses.

7:06

She said, we cannot

7:08

grow. We just

7:10

got to get in better position. Bro,

7:13

what she was telling them is like, ain't nobody

7:15

on our squad six, seven. Bro,

7:18

they had three players at

7:21

least. I'm watching South Carolina.

7:23

Homegirl get another foul. And they're like,

7:25

all right, she got two, three fouls.

7:27

She in trouble. They sent her out.

7:29

They sent another six, seven joke in

7:31

there. And then she get up five.

7:33

They bring another one. And sometimes they

7:35

play together. It's like the twin towers.

7:38

But what the coach did not say to

7:40

them is, we

7:43

can't do this and it's impossible to do that. She

7:45

said, I'm just going to be real with you. We

7:48

can't grow. But what y'all

7:50

can do is what

7:52

you can position yourself better. So when the

7:54

ball come off the rim, you can't be

7:56

taller than her, but you can Dennis Rod

7:59

me me. and figure it

8:01

out. So what is that? That's saying

8:03

we're not about to make no excuses.

8:05

Right? And so y'all heard my message

8:07

before, bro, at the end of

8:09

the day, I'm still an African American male

8:12

motivational speaker, bro, in

8:14

a predominantly white industry,

8:17

bro. I can name them for you. Jim

8:20

Rohn. You know what I'm saying? Les

8:22

Brown. I mean, Zig Ziglar,

8:24

you know, Tony Robbins, like Napoleon

8:27

Hill. I can name them for you.

8:30

But what I'm not going to do is go, I'm

8:33

an African American male and

8:35

make it seem like because

8:40

of these challenges

8:43

that exist, then I'm

8:45

going to put all my energy on the challenges

8:48

that exist. I'm not about to do that. I'm

8:50

about to go, okay, here go

8:52

to 10 challenges that exist, but here

8:54

are the three opportunities. Here's

8:57

the three things I can personally do

8:59

to not only stay in the

9:01

game, kill the game, and had

9:03

a big dogs on the other side saying we want

9:05

to work with. Well, that's how we blew up, you

9:08

know, and a lot of people ask me and I'm just like, dog,

9:11

we, of all the disadvantages we

9:13

had, and we had quite a, two black

9:15

males trying to start a company. First of

9:17

all, in America, that's just a disadvantage in

9:19

and of itself. From a working class. Oh,

9:21

bro. Never, no entrepreneurial experience. Anything we

9:24

had. So no money, no startup capital,

9:26

no support, never got a loan net,

9:28

no loans, no, nobody coming in saying,

9:31

oh, I'm going to do this for

9:33

y'all. So there's all the disadvantages, but

9:35

what were the advantages we had? We had the

9:38

gift. Right. He was obviously

9:41

an incredible speaker. I was,

9:43

you know, gifted with branding. So we start

9:45

putting our gifts together and we start look

9:47

Carl, Carl, very, he asked. So Carl

9:49

was able to do everything right. He grounds crew. So

9:51

he's just like, yo, I can get in and get

9:53

active with anything. So I want you to hear what

9:55

I'm saying. We looked at

9:57

all the disadvantages and acknowledged them. Yeah.

10:00

because I think you do need to acknowledge them so

10:02

that you don't have a, here's what acknowledging them does.

10:05

Acknowledging acknowledging them,

10:08

it eliminates the unrealistic expectations

10:10

of what you're supposed to have. Absolutely. So

10:12

you may be thinking like I was when

10:15

I first met E, Oh,

10:17

somebody, we doing this kind of work for

10:19

show. Like my man from the bank cut

10:22

us a check and we out of here. Once

10:24

I realized that was no longer the

10:26

case, which I had to go

10:28

through the situation in order to get there. Now

10:31

I'm playing with a full deck now full

10:33

deck. Cause I understand what the rules of

10:35

engagement was not about to happen. And most

10:37

of y'all don't understand the rules of engagement

10:39

one. So you do need to

10:41

realize the things that ain't finna happen. Absolutely. Right? Cause

10:44

I like, that's just important. Just know anybody finna walk through

10:46

your dough and hand you a check for half a million

10:48

dollars and be like, you know what? I love what you're

10:50

doing. Pay me back when you get a chance, that ain't

10:52

going to happen. So we can eliminate those things. Now we

10:54

can start to focus on the things that we do have.

10:57

Right? So the things that we do have, he

10:59

had an incredible gift. I had to give, Carl had

11:01

to give. Okay, cool. What's everybody's gift. Get everybody on

11:03

the bus, get everybody in the right seat on the

11:05

bus. All right. Everybody in the right seat on the

11:07

bus. Cool. Now, what are we doing? And how do

11:09

we do it consistently? What things can we control? We

11:12

can control doing. Thank God it's Monday every

11:14

single week for years.

11:17

And I don't know if you remember, but Facebook

11:20

came out and you had

11:22

to be a college student. You had

11:24

to be a head to have an

11:26

EDU. You had that bra. You had

11:28

to have an EDU and we had

11:30

an EDU advantage. Boom. What are other

11:32

than free advertisement, bro, bro. YouTube came

11:34

out. Yep. YouTube came out. Listen to

11:36

what I'm telling y'all. I said it

11:38

before. I can remember

11:40

sitting in the room telling Carl, yo,

11:43

there's this thing called YouTube. No question.

11:46

I don't know what it is, but people be

11:48

putting up like crazy cat videos. It was cat

11:50

videos, bro. That's what we do back then. And

11:52

it looked like people, just regular people. I don't

11:54

even think if you under 30, you definitely don't

11:56

know what I'm talking about. There was a time

11:59

when. You

12:01

couldn't have your own stuff looking at you

12:03

on the internet at

12:06

all. Like even if you

12:08

had home movies or something like that, you

12:10

wasn't putting it on the internet. Like we

12:12

had internet, but it was like, oh, you

12:14

seen that one, uh, stinky monkey video and

12:16

the monkey like fell off the tree. It

12:19

wasn't your own stuff. So I started looking

12:21

and I said, look like

12:23

people, regular folks is

12:25

uploading their own stuff. Crazy. Carl,

12:28

can you figure out how to do it? And

12:30

the typical Carl Fazzy said, give me a minute. And

12:33

Carl figured out how to upload a video

12:35

and we were literally from that point

12:37

on, we start uploading

12:40

content daily, weekly.

12:42

It wasn't just the thing that got us Monday's we

12:44

were uploading advantage. No, no, no. If you go back

12:46

and look, I told Carl, let's look

12:49

at our first video that went up after the

12:51

when you want to succeed as badge one, it was

12:53

the advantage every week. Now here's what

12:55

people have to understand. This is why, this is why

12:57

we're telling you not to be a

12:59

victim. We're not telling you not to be a victim because we care.

13:01

You know what I'm saying? Like we don't, we, that's

13:04

you grown. We're telling you not to be

13:06

a victim because when you're a victim, you

13:09

have the wrong focus. Yeah. And because you

13:11

have the wrong focus, you're going to be

13:13

putting up energy and not get nowhere. You

13:16

feel me? So look, look, bro,

13:18

this, if nothing else this year that

13:21

blew my mind was North Carolina state

13:23

men's basketball. Yeah. And we're talking about,

13:26

I think they had lost 11 games or something like

13:28

that. 14, 14 games, bro. Nobody

13:31

has ever gone to the final four who lost

13:33

14 games at some point. Coach

13:36

had a sit down with them and said,

13:38

listen to me mathematically,

13:42

we can only lose one more game

13:44

and our entire season is over. Yep.

13:47

Like, let's just be real. We have to be

13:49

honest, even in a tournament, we can't lose one

13:51

more game, bro. It's over. It's

13:54

over. So that is like you

13:57

said, being realistic. Write

13:59

me down. So now you get to go home

14:01

and say, okay, if we

14:03

lose one more game, now, bro, this is a crazy

14:05

to me about North Carolina state. When

14:08

you are a victim, you lose and

14:10

all your opportunities are gone. When

14:13

you become a victim, you

14:15

now start focusing on what

14:17

inner changes you do to make. They

14:20

ask, they ask your boy like, yo, what

14:22

changed? He said, we started coming to

14:25

practice on time. Hmm. We

14:27

started doing what coach told us to do. We

14:30

started hitting the weights. We started

14:32

believing in coach and what he told, bro,

14:36

they, bro, my man said nothing

14:39

changed about basketball. We didn't

14:41

get no taller. We didn't get no stronger. We didn't

14:44

get no bigger. But, but

14:46

we stopped going, Oh,

14:48

this ain't in this ain't in this ain't in

14:50

this ain't. And he said, all of us, every

14:53

last one of us starts saying, here's

14:56

the reality, here go to plan. We

14:58

can't lose one more game. We got

15:00

a win. We got a win

15:02

out. Yup. What's that ACC ACC? We got to,

15:05

cause you know, they changed and stuff. So they

15:07

got to win. They said we got to win

15:09

out. And that's against Duke

15:11

of North Carolina. North Carolina, bro. Yeah,

15:13

bro. Don't forget got

15:15

Florida state over there. Some squads that you can

15:17

lose to over there. Georgia tech

15:19

on a good night. Yeah, bro. He

15:22

said we cannot lose out. They want

15:24

every single game came in,

15:26

want every single guy and listen to me.

15:28

He said, bro, we start having fun

15:30

again. And so, so, so I

15:32

just want y'all to understand we

15:34

looked at, okay, here go all the stuff that

15:37

we don't have all the stuff that

15:39

we cannot do. Like if we

15:41

do, if we mess up here, bro,

15:43

we was on our character. We

15:46

was on consistency. We

15:48

knew for a fact, we got one

15:50

shot at this. And if we blow

15:52

it, okay, whatever happened before today,

15:54

ain't nothing we could do about it.

15:57

But as of today, I never forget

15:59

it. CJ. talks about it, but y'all

16:01

gotta be there. When the bank said no,

16:04

there was this inner shift in CJ,

16:07

where he no longer had, it

16:10

was nobody else. A victim is,

16:12

and it wasn't on the negative side,

16:15

the victim was, CJ believed in all

16:17

of his art that some

16:19

other entity or

16:21

some other individuals were

16:23

responsible for us going to the

16:26

next level because we did not

16:28

have the economics you needed to

16:30

get in the game. So she

16:32

wasn't like giving them

16:34

more credit, they deserve, he just

16:37

knew economically, we come

16:39

from a working class community, we

16:41

went to Michigan State University, we're

16:43

helping people of color, specifically

16:46

black males, like, bruh,

16:48

ain't nobody, we don't

16:51

have enough to

16:53

do what it is we trying to accomplish.

16:57

But the day we didn't get that money,

17:00

and the day my man didn't call us back, that was

17:02

the part, it wasn't that we didn't get the money.

17:04

If we didn't get the money and my man had explained

17:06

why we were here, we probably would have been cool.

17:08

Still don't know till this day. She would have been like,

17:10

oh, you know what, that's why we didn't get it.

17:12

Listen to me, I'm trying to tell you, you

17:15

are a victim when you still looking for

17:17

proof. Like,

17:19

what are you looking for proof for? You

17:22

gotta hear what I'm saying. You

17:24

are wasting energy and you're wasting

17:27

time because you are consumed with

17:29

why. Why did the

17:31

bank end? Why didn't my daddy? And why

17:33

didn't this person, and why, let me tell

17:35

you something, if you get to the end

17:37

of the yellow brick road and figure out

17:39

why, that why is not going

17:42

to take you to where you trying to get

17:44

to. It's only one thing that's gonna take you

17:46

to as you, and so once C was like,

17:49

bruh, I promise y'all, man, I wish y'all could go back. It's

17:52

the best thing that ever happened to us, and sometimes

17:54

losing is the best thing that happened to you

17:56

because you're gonna lose. So you gotta stop being a victim and

17:58

go, why? Let me tell you. Y'all I've never said

18:01

this, I let CJ tell the story. But

18:03

I'm so grateful that we didn't get that

18:05

money because there was a shift in his

18:07

energy. There was a shift in

18:10

his ownership that from that

18:12

day forward, she was like, I got it.

18:14

If anybody gonna blow us up, if

18:17

anybody's gonna help us, it's the two of

18:19

us and then Carl's support. That's the only

18:21

thing that's gonna blow us up. So what

18:24

I gained from not getting that money, I

18:26

gained 1000% all

18:29

his energy, all his commitment, all

18:31

his ideas, all everything he had from that

18:33

day forth, I got it. And from that

18:35

day forward, it was only a matter of

18:37

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No matter what stage or in

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Shopify calm over slash secret to

22:08

success Yeah, no, it's

22:10

crazy because you're talking. I didn't even I've

22:13

never thought about it that way that Have

22:16

we got an explanation? Maybe that would have changed.

22:18

No, not even gave me the full cut I

22:20

need it right because if you would have been

22:22

like yo, we had some other things come

22:24

up You know the bank took a hit last month

22:26

interest rates was down. I don't know Write

22:29

another proposal, but just anything I would have wrote

22:31

it. I wrote it in the heartbeat But

22:34

what he trying to tell y'all is and I did

22:36

feel bad and I did feel like a victim I

22:38

worked my butt off bread and I was like yo

22:40

we put stuff together It was months we were working

22:42

on this and they get the rug swept out from

22:44

underneath you it hurt And I remember thinking like yo,

22:46

I felt bad like yo, how could he do this

22:49

does we good people we speak and we change it

22:51

My man don't care about the community. He don't care

22:53

about the kid that is I was going off and

22:56

then finally when he was Like yo, let's go back to work. And

22:58

I was like, yo, we want like tomorrow or

23:00

it's like not right now And I

23:02

remember sitting in there going Okay,

23:05

I can't give anybody this much control over

23:07

me again. That's what a victim is. That's

23:09

the problem Yes, I wasn't even trying to

23:11

be sweet. I was just like, okay I

23:14

just don't want I don't like that feeling

23:16

of somebody being able to take something from

23:19

me Does that make sense like like

23:21

when you man you feel so vulnerable

23:24

That's why I don't feel vulnerable no more is in

23:26

my hands is in our hands but back then it

23:29

was like I remember feeling so like Violated

23:31

and like a victim like y'all

23:34

I took I was taking advantage of I was

23:36

lied to like all of these things and it's

23:38

so crazy like if Proven

23:41

that you listen what I'm about to say to y'all

23:43

and I promise you And

23:46

this is not I hope people understand. It's

23:48

not to minimize nothing. Nobody been I'm talking

23:51

about horrific stuff Wherever you at

23:53

in the spectrum. I had

23:55

a conversation with somebody close to us not

23:57

that long ago and It's

24:01

been some transitions and transitioning

24:03

going on and the person was

24:05

just like, yo, I just

24:07

feel like, you know, everything around

24:09

just ain't been right. And

24:12

I feel like in this case, this person did

24:14

this to me. I feel

24:16

like in this case, you know, I was

24:18

loyal and this happened. And

24:21

then in this case, I was, E, I'm

24:24

not playing, bro. How many cases was it? No,

24:26

no, no. Like, like

24:28

legit over 10. Like y'all

24:30

might think I'm not trying to exaggerate for

24:32

the cameras. Nothing. It was legit. Like

24:35

they had every instance in which they

24:38

felt like they had been wronged. And

24:41

I was like, oh, okay. And I was like, cool.

24:44

And I was like, let's just say

24:47

for the record, for the record.

24:50

All of that is 1 million percent true.

24:54

Like I'll

24:56

give it to you. Right? Like here you go. There's

25:00

no victim trophy. Yeah. Does

25:02

that make sense? Like there's no, there's no, you

25:05

don't get a trophy for that. Yeah. You

25:07

don't get, I don't get that. I'm not

25:09

just going like, like, I think

25:11

they want like, I think in their

25:13

mind, they like, yeah, bring me to bring me

25:15

to, yeah. No, I'm just being real. Like because

25:19

she was explaining it to me as if

25:22

or he was explaining it to you. Or he, Carl,

25:24

be quiet. No,

25:27

no, no. They

25:30

were explaining it to me. No,

25:32

no, no. I'm saying. No gender. They

25:36

were explaining

25:38

it to me as if

25:40

they, they were, no, no, listen, they were explaining

25:43

the excuses to me. If

25:45

I believed them, it was a

25:47

win for them. Yeah. That's

25:50

good. See, that's good. They were like, yo, nah.

25:52

They were like, hmm. Now mind you, all of

25:54

that. When I was there for some

25:56

of that. So I'm like, okay. Even if it's real

25:58

for the. sake of

26:00

art. Yeah, yeah, even if it's real, I'm

26:02

going to give you everyone. Now

26:05

you get to go. Ma, we did it.

26:07

We did it. I'm the number one victim. I'm the

26:09

number one. We won. And I'm

26:12

like, okay, what now what? Yeah.

26:14

And I said, hold on to

26:16

your point. And this is why going through these

26:18

life experiences helps so much to your point. I

26:21

was like, imagine, I

26:24

said, I told the person, I said, now put

26:26

the shoe on the other foot. I

26:28

said, could you like me

26:30

CJ again, I ain't trying to two

26:32

more horn. I said, could you imagine me

26:35

ever saying in any

26:38

circumstance that I'm a victim? I

26:41

was like, just go through all of them. Yeah. Matter

26:44

of fact, some real foul stuff happened with

26:46

an account that took quite

26:49

a bit of a meal. I caught a vote.

26:51

You said it. I didn't call it of a

26:53

meal. No, I'm just saying one of a meal.

26:55

Okay, cool. Straight

26:58

out the joint. And it never came back. I

27:00

said to the person, I was just like, yo, how

27:02

many times did I, did I

27:05

call E crying? Did

27:07

I call car, did I call you back and say, Oh, okay.

27:10

Did I spend six months trying to figure

27:12

out? I said, I never

27:14

became a victim. I said, the

27:17

time I would have used to complain and

27:19

be victimized about the two 50. I

27:22

could have spent that time, energy and

27:24

effort becoming a victor and getting it

27:26

back 10 fold. I said,

27:28

but because you see everything through the

27:31

lens of a victim, everything

27:33

that happens to you as a negative, what

27:35

happened to this person

27:39

had it been when we were there with the bank that

27:42

would have destroyed you. He just said that was

27:44

the best thing that ever happened to me because

27:46

it turned me into a different kind of beast.

27:48

It made me hunt in a way that I never hunt.

27:50

It made me accountable in a way I was never accountable.

27:52

It made me get up at a time. I never got

27:54

up. It made me stay up till the hour. I never

27:56

stayed up that, that

27:59

boosted me. But when you have

28:01

the victim lens, when you hold your victim

28:03

trophy, you're like, bro, some trophy.

28:05

No, no, no, I'm saying the victim

28:07

show 72 and oh undefeated undefeated. And

28:10

then you ran

28:12

through the playoffs undefeated undefeated. If,

28:16

if being a victim at the end of the day meant like,

28:18

yo, you know what? 500,000 you

28:22

victim of the year, it

28:24

doesn't do anything. And so you

28:26

have to, and I want you to

28:28

speak to this. How do you rewire

28:31

your brain? Cause I do think that

28:33

there is a, I've noticed that people

28:35

who, I don't

28:37

want to say play the victim because here's the

28:39

thing. Yeah. I could hear

28:41

some of y'all right now. I know what you're saying, but

28:44

see, I

28:46

was abused. No question you were. My

28:48

husband left. No question. I was what

28:51

it did happen. It happened. I

28:54

got you. My

28:56

thing is how do you get

28:58

out of that and get over that and

29:00

become, you always say that you're not

29:02

a victim. You're a victor. If you can look up, you can

29:04

get up. How do you adapt

29:07

the mentality? Because I do think there's a

29:09

mentality that's a victim. And again, with this

29:11

person, I just flat out told him, I

29:13

was like, yo, you, you are a victim.

29:17

One area. Yeah. And you have some, but

29:19

in every area, you're a victim and here's the

29:21

deal. We all have

29:23

been victimized. One million percent in

29:26

regard. Everybody's been victimized. It

29:28

is in being victimized

29:31

that the enemy gets you to be

29:33

a victim or either

29:36

you get victimized and you become a

29:38

victor. But for most of us,

29:41

just cause you got victimized don't mean you're not. No,

29:44

you're not, you're not one, but you get

29:46

to choose. So, so

29:48

I always, and again, this is the

29:50

first time you said it and

29:53

we on the same page cause you,

29:55

and I'm about to fix it cause you said it, you

29:57

still saying it wrong. Even though you did

29:59

the right thing. people who are listening, they're not going to

30:01

catch it. When you say, E, what

30:04

hurt me so bad was I put

30:06

all of this energy into this bank situation

30:08

and then we didn't get it. And I wasted my time. Actually

30:11

you didn't waste your time. Not with

30:13

actually you got exactly what you were

30:15

supposed to get out of doing that

30:17

bank name. You got exactly what you're

30:19

supposed to get. Yeah, absolutely. Nothing from

30:22

them. Thank God. Everything from your side

30:24

because, because, because you were focusing on

30:26

them, you could never activate

30:28

you because, and that's

30:30

what a victim is. A victim just

30:32

says, you are just

30:34

as responsible for the outcomes

30:36

that I see. And that's the part that

30:39

scares me. That's the victim part that scared

30:41

me because now I got,

30:43

imagine me having to go tell my wife, yo,

30:46

we, we can't take this trip.

30:48

He victimized you because my man, he didn't

30:50

give you the money from the bank. Like

30:52

when you were a kid, you're

30:54

like, no, he, it was

30:56

it. And so what happens when you

30:59

get, so here's what happens when

31:01

you get victimized, you either spend

31:03

the rest of your life trying to

31:05

get proof that you got

31:07

victimized. And that's what I'm saying.

31:09

Do you hear what I'm saying? Carl, it

31:12

was like when they was explaining it, it was like the,

31:14

it was like the Jordan LeBron debate. It

31:17

was putting up stats. That's I got, and

31:19

I was like, you just want to prove

31:21

it. I was like, because at the end

31:23

of the day, I'll get you to, that's

31:26

your reward though. Your reward validation, the validation

31:28

that I needed you to help

31:31

me and you didn't come through

31:33

for me. So guess what I got to do

31:35

now? I don't got to go to bed

31:37

and feel the pain. Let me tell y'all something. Now you

31:39

feel it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you

31:41

don't feel it. You don't feel it. You don't, you feel

31:44

not having the thing that's worn it, but

31:46

you don't feel the responsibility of the other

31:49

kind of responsibility. No, no, no, not the

31:51

responsibility. I don't hear nothing about the response.

31:53

That's everything. You had out. That's everything. You

31:55

don't get the outcome without

31:59

the responsibility. responsibility you feel me

32:01

and so it's like you trying to get proof

32:03

and I remember it Shifted

32:06

from proof to paper Hmm

32:10

like I got to get this paper. I don't

32:12

care if it's money or if it's a degree, but

32:15

there's something about paper That

32:18

is going to Ultimately

32:20

satisfy me not

32:23

necessarily other people around me, but I get

32:25

this degree I already know it's gonna put

32:27

me in a different just space and place

32:29

in America. I get this money

32:31

I get this money. I already know it's gonna

32:34

put me in a different space. So I had

32:36

to decide Okay, e which

32:38

one is it which one is most

32:40

important to you? I'm not gonna lie

32:42

to you Sharing

32:46

that my biological father was not in

32:48

my life and that What

32:51

I just what I considered to

32:54

be my downfall was because him not being

32:56

there Oh, bro, I'm not gonna tell you.

32:58

Oh, it felt good having stories.

33:01

It felt good having people sit down like, okay

33:04

Tell me about that feeling I never heard so

33:06

you just be like sit down Let me tell

33:08

you about my dad not being in my man

33:10

telling me you you you about to get kicked

33:12

out of Okwa you about to be on academic

33:14

probation. And so I don't want to deal with that

33:17

That's learning Resource Center That's

33:20

I got to study more that

33:22

I gotta take these Remedial classes while

33:25

my boys that's no video games can't

33:27

go to the movies like I'm not

33:29

stupid Not having your father

33:31

was just oh, bro. That's bro. That is

33:33

the eat that's Now

33:37

you think I can't read cuz I

33:39

didn't big you think I can't read

33:41

because I My

33:46

father was no this don't got nothing to do with

33:48

that Yeah, now you looking at me like I'm stupid

33:50

cuz I can't read or write You look at me

33:52

like I'm dumb and I'm like, no, no, no, no,

33:54

no. Can you read and can you write? They like

33:56

yeah, did you very well? I said, did you add

33:58

your daddy? Yeah, my dad Okay, see,

34:01

I got a little bit better. So you

34:03

don't understand me. Point proven. Point proven. You

34:05

don't understand me. You can't sit here and

34:07

judge me because you don't

34:09

know. But the cool thing about it

34:11

was after a bunch of those, and

34:14

I had collected them jokers. You

34:17

got all big girls. I had

34:19

all of them. And I

34:21

would go and try to cash them in. And

34:24

I couldn't cash them in nowhere. I

34:26

couldn't take them nowhere. Wow. I

34:28

couldn't do nothing. Here's what's funny.

34:31

Compared to mortgage with the people

34:33

who listened to me and who

34:35

said, okay, like

34:37

I feel you. Those people

34:39

was really setting me back. And I thought they was my

34:41

friends and the people that was

34:43

challenging me. I'm kidding about your daddy. You've

34:46

got to learn how to read and write because you ain't

34:48

going to keep saying you ain't going to keep beat. But

34:50

you know, it's so crazy. They lied and told me I

34:52

won't go and be able to keep telling that story. But

34:54

I see adult men and women who are still still telling

34:56

that story. I got to tell the same story. When

34:58

Ben on the GC call this week, he shared this

35:00

and I wrote it. I was like, wow. Again, we

35:02

know all our thoughts. The majority of our thoughts, I

35:05

remember 90 percent, 95 percent are repetitive, right? Negative

35:08

and repetitive. Careful. Yeah.

35:11

So he said, basically we spend about five

35:13

percent is now in our conscious, not subconscious.

35:16

Five percent in our conscious brand. So that's about 1.2 hours a day.

35:20

He's like, in those 1.2 hours, we're

35:22

trying to figure out how to make

35:24

the world match our preferences. And

35:28

I was trying to figure out why we got the dog on

35:30

preference in the first place. Just think

35:32

about that. Like we try to make the world,

35:34

what you just said, I'm going to try to

35:36

make the world fit into everything that happened to

35:38

me. I'm trying to make motivational speech of black

35:40

industry. It's not where you can wear your hat

35:42

in Jordans. You can't. So

35:45

what do we have to do? We had to go. Okay.

35:48

We got to be number one before we could start. Okay.

35:51

We got to get to Ph.D. Okay.

35:53

We got to get so many million here.

35:55

Okay. So

35:58

I want you all to hear us. We weren't

36:00

always like this, y'all. We couldn't

36:02

always logo. We, we, we had

36:05

no logo. We couldn't do what we wanted

36:07

to do when we wanted to do it.

36:09

And so we looked and said, okay, we

36:11

got to keep doing it. What would it

36:13

take for us to run our own company

36:15

and be able to come and go as

36:17

we please and do what we want in

36:19

this world? And what would it take to

36:21

do that? And so instead of

36:23

us going, this person let us

36:25

down and this didn't work out the

36:27

way we wanted to. And why wasn't

36:29

that? And why is it this? We

36:31

just sat down and got real with

36:33

what are all the challenges. Yeah. We

36:35

watch this and we take ownership of

36:38

the fact that we grew up in Michigan

36:40

and it was a blue collar, we took

36:42

ownership of, we didn't know that other world

36:44

and we need to go study that other

36:46

world. We took ownership of,

36:49

okay, what, if this is a, if

36:51

this is a white male dominant, it's

36:54

just like basketball for the first time

36:56

ever. The last two years,

36:58

millions of people have watched and listen

37:00

to me. I don't say this to be disrespectful. It's

37:03

not women's basketball. It's college

37:06

women's basketball. Let me just say that.

37:09

I'm just saying facts. I'm not trying to, I don't care

37:11

either way. It doesn't matter to me, but I'm just saying,

37:13

and, and, and, and, and we

37:15

had to deal with the reality of now

37:18

they are now playing to

37:20

a level where they're getting the same views

37:22

or if not more than the men, they

37:25

had to figure out, we are league ain't nobody coming to

37:27

see us play. Anybody, what is it going to take to

37:29

get that? And they did it. So, so I just want

37:31

to say this one more time. Cause I want to make

37:33

sure I'm clear. See, I always had steps. You

37:36

have an option. Step one,

37:39

you can get proof of

37:41

why your daddy wasn't in your life and why he

37:43

treated you like that, you can get proof

37:46

and you can get absolutely nothing. It's

37:49

like cotton candy. You get nothing

37:51

at the end of it, or you can't

37:53

redeem them nowhere. You can't redeem them. It's

37:55

not, it's gotta be some place. Maybe

37:58

with other victims in the I'm a simple brother.

38:00

Let me tell you something You

38:05

can get more with a Chuck E cheese

38:07

token You

38:09

can get more with my not be as I

38:11

don't know if they got showbiz yet The toys

38:14

the rest you get more if you had a

38:16

Chuck E T like a hundred them joke really

38:18

won't you bro? You could go to the front

38:20

and they would say choose you get a prize

38:22

choose the prop you get absolutely nothing,

38:25

but somebody's ear Have

38:27

you complaining about that's what I'm saying. I

38:30

gave the person a certificate you got

38:32

him You I was like, yeah, okay. You want to know?

38:36

Bank account ain't changed the lick Respect

38:38

from people hadn't changed the lick

38:40

you being more dominant in your

38:42

field and people Respecting you

38:45

when you feel ain't changed. None. Nothing

38:47

has changed. So the second thing you could do is

38:49

go No, I want to

38:51

do the hard work. I Was

38:54

talking to me stay on the first thing. Oh, yeah Okay,

38:56

stay on the first thing No,

38:59

no, no cuz I feel like I want to keep what you say

39:02

Trust me. I'm about to lose the second. Okay, but I'm

39:04

saying though Like to

39:06

your point of not being able to redeem it.

39:08

I can remember when Somebody

39:10

taking a shower. Do you do that or

39:12

the washing machine? Somebody's

39:15

here. Maybe no nobody here. This is

39:17

your house I'm

39:21

gonna check earlier with the Washington. Okay,

39:23

I'm gonna take I

39:26

saw you look that way like okay Did

39:29

the eclipse call All

39:31

right. Yeah now I forgot what I was about to say Yeah,

39:36

oh not yeah redeem it so yeah can't redeem it

39:38

so What

39:42

you also have to okay, let me say

39:44

this correctly when

39:46

you do that it kills

39:49

your Ability

39:51

to work no boys to does that make

39:54

sense a hundred percent because you've given you've

39:56

already said the reason So

39:58

let me get an example Everybody

40:00

who didn't used to play football

40:04

with like who was on the team but didn't

40:06

get no clock, coach didn't like

40:09

them. You know what

40:11

I'm saying? Or like coach was trying

40:13

to, yeah, politics. But

40:15

I noticed some kind of way that the best players,

40:18

we never really felt

40:20

the politics. No, I'm just saying, like my home,

40:23

and I used to let it ride too. My

40:25

homies be like, bruh, you know coach, bruh.

40:27

Because your daddy up at the school all

40:29

the time. He don't fool with me like

40:31

that. You know what I'm saying? Like, hey,

40:33

man, you know how to lose six. You

40:36

know, my brother went here, he ain't like my

40:38

brother. And I'm like,

40:41

and I used to be letting him get it all. I don't

40:43

care. But if you could put up five touchdowns, coach don't like

40:46

that. No, I'm saying,

40:48

I'm saying, so

40:50

coach, and they do it at every

40:52

level. Coach willing to lose his

40:54

job to prove a point

40:56

to you. Like, I'm going to just, so

40:59

he, he want to keep you down more than he want

41:01

to win. But

41:03

I always noticed that it was the players who

41:06

was fringe benchies. But

41:09

here goes the thing. Now you

41:11

don't have to look at, why

41:14

would you look at your 40 time? Or

41:17

your bench press ability if you've

41:19

already made up in your mind. I have nothing to do with that. Coach

41:22

has nothing to do with it. Wow. Has

41:24

nothing to do with the fact that I can't catch a

41:26

pass. You probably have to fall. You have nothing

41:28

to do with that. Nothing. Nothing. That's

41:31

what I'm calling it. Coach

41:33

hating. If you, Carl, if you've already

41:35

decided that, but it's grown people doing

41:37

this, bro. One million percent. I'm just

41:39

using an example of like, when I

41:41

was in school, I'm like, so

41:44

there's no reason to go get up extra shots. Because

41:47

coach ain't going to let you play anyway. Not

41:49

because he's not going to let me play anyway. That's

41:52

not the reason. Because that's not the reason

41:54

I'm not playing. It has nothing

41:57

to do with the extra shots. It's

41:59

everything. to do because I would

42:01

put him up if I thought I had

42:03

a chance to play. Now if I thought

42:05

coach is fair, if he was fair, I'd

42:07

be at practice riding with Jim both dirty.

42:10

No question. But because it's because he doesn't

42:12

like me, Carl

42:15

how can you go work on something

42:17

if you've already decided? Delusion. So that's what I was

42:19

telling this person who gave me all the excuses. They

42:23

actually told us that certain

42:25

people just didn't thrive in the workplace. Yeah.

42:27

Yeah. But we had

42:29

other people thrive in the workplace. In

42:32

the same workplace? In the same workplace. Now

42:34

you're getting into too much business. Same workplace.

42:36

And again, you know what I mean? I

42:38

love this person and they love me. But

42:43

to their point, it's

42:46

real because that's what you decided to focus

42:48

on. Like it's real

42:51

that the workplace is

42:53

real that politics is real.

42:55

I'm saying, again, we

42:57

listen, we were at Michigan State. He

43:01

was by far in

43:04

a way, I mean, with a bullet,

43:07

the number one candidate to take

43:09

this job. When I

43:11

say, listen, he was like Gandhi

43:14

at Michigan State. We got hundreds of

43:16

students coming out. By that time we

43:18

had the data, we had the evidence,

43:21

we had the program going everything, all

43:23

the students in the entire, let's say

43:26

it was 500 students in the whole program. They

43:28

only came to eat. And

43:31

it was time for the

43:33

promotion. And we just knew

43:37

we up. No, I'm saying,

43:39

no, it here go to

43:42

thing. And guess what

43:44

it probably was? Politics.

43:48

Sure it was. Guess what

43:50

we never sat around and said though? That

43:53

it was politics. We can't win because too much

43:55

politics. You know what we did? We

43:58

said, oh. It

44:01

does feel like politics here. So

44:03

we out. So we don't have to,

44:06

because when we leave and create our own thing, and

44:08

now people under us saying, it's politics.

44:13

No, I'm just saying. No question. So

44:17

this is what, this is why you got

44:19

to get control of your own situation. This

44:22

is why you have to become a victor

44:24

or not a victim, because when you decided

44:26

you are a victim, everything else. You're

44:29

right. You're right. You are. You're

44:31

right. Give them the trophy again. I'm

44:33

about to get a trophy. I'm talking about in grade.

44:35

You're right. Put your jersey on the rafter. You're right.

44:38

Number one, undefeated, heavy weight,

44:40

scorched hall of fame, victim

44:43

of the world. And I don't

44:45

know if y'all covered this before, but to go the step

44:47

further is, don't forget about number

44:49

two. I got you. Even

44:51

if it is legitimately, like

44:54

they don't like you and they're racist. Oh, one day

44:56

we're saying. Yeah, we talked about that. No, we were

44:58

like, no, no, no. Leave.

45:02

All of those are right. We'll get,

45:04

here you go. Have those too.

45:06

What else? Racist, sexy,

45:09

ageist, cool.

45:12

We were like, no, no, Carl, here you

45:14

could, true. Now

45:16

what? Like, and that's what we're saying.

45:19

Where do you go from? You got all the powers on up.

45:21

You know, you know, you know, six rings, the

45:24

picture, he got all the rings on it. Like,

45:26

that's you with your victim rings. I got all

45:28

of these. My mom and my dad. You called

45:30

me. Yeah. Go

45:32

ahead. Number two. And you still

45:34

there. You still there. And

45:37

so number two is the

45:39

same thing as number one. What

45:41

do you want at the end of it? You

45:44

know what I'm saying? What do you want at the end? Because we know what

45:46

you're going to get, but what are you? Yeah. I

45:49

had to decide which one

45:51

do you want? Do you want the sympathy

45:53

that comes from your father not being in your life?

45:57

Do you want the sympathy of your mom being?

46:00

17 when she got pregnant with you. Which one do you want?

46:03

Because those was my two. But those are strong.

46:05

Those was my class. Big joke or little joke?

46:07

Bro, everywhere I went. My

46:09

father not being in my life. Big joke. Only because

46:11

my mom was in my life. So

46:13

I ain't never really... Like it took me a long

46:16

time to really start saying I got

46:18

victimized from my mom. That little joker can't let

46:20

it. Yeah, can't let it. Because it was like,

46:22

I don't really want my mom to think I'm

46:24

out here. So when I left home, I was

46:26

like, okay, I ain't with her no more. So

46:28

now I can make my mom the excuse. But

46:30

oh, my old dude was always big joke. Bye.

46:33

How many books you got? I got one for

46:35

show. And that's my daddy was, bye. And then

46:37

I was playing that. Bro,

46:40

I was playing. And impossible. Bro. If

46:42

y'all want that one. Okay. And I want y'all to

46:44

listen to me. Because y'all heard

46:46

this story, but we're going to contextualize it for you. I

46:50

was saying my daddy wasn't in my life

46:52

killing it. People sympathize. I

46:55

was beautiful. And then I would

46:57

catch the bus to the homeless spot. On

47:02

Orange Line in Detroit. With your trophy. I

47:05

was walking in the home. With your trophy.

47:08

I was holding with the trophy. When

47:10

that joker was here today. Bro,

47:13

on the bus with that. You took your jacket

47:15

off. Everybody looking at me like, he won. He

47:17

won. Bro, right there, bro. Kerosene,

47:20

Heater. Sardines.

47:23

Yeah, that's a clear picture about everything. I

47:25

got sardines and crackers eating out of a

47:27

can. Somebody might have sympathized with me and

47:29

got me the one, what

47:31

do you call it, over the stove. Over the

47:34

electric stove. So I got one of those. Somebody

47:36

might have got me a pot. I'm in there

47:38

making my eggs to go with my salmon. I

47:40

ain't taking no showers. You ain't having salmon out

47:43

there homeless? Yeah, bro. Oh, no, I'm talking about.

47:45

That's in the can salmon. Not what you're talking

47:47

about. Oh, you had

47:49

a little out of that. You go either oil or

47:51

water. Oh, yeah. They

47:54

got spicy. Yeah. Yeah.

47:56

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I

47:58

would go home. and go,

48:01

yo, bruh, you got the trophy, but look at

48:04

your, look

48:07

at what you really getting, bruh. Like,

48:09

look at this. You know, bruh, like I

48:11

always say, bruh, you in the city, you, bruh,

48:13

they gon' join you, bruh. You, I

48:16

was a walking billboard for cap and

48:18

jokes, right? And then when

48:21

I stopped blaming people when I took ownership,

48:23

I could see my bank account change. I

48:26

could see my credit score change. I

48:28

could see the respect. I ain't even want

48:30

to say this, but I'm gonna say it. I

48:33

don't know when y'all listen to this. What's today's date?

48:36

It's coming out Thursday. Hey, so,

48:38

so April 9th, I'm

48:41

getting the award for faculty at Michigan State

48:43

University. It ain't no victim trophy. Bro, we

48:45

left in the, bro, we left 2010. They

48:48

still trying to, they still honoring us for

48:50

what we did back in the day. Wow.

48:53

I don't know the name of it. Dr. June was like- Well, they want to

48:56

be associated with winners. Everybody

48:58

wants to be associated with- Facts. No,

49:00

I'm just saying. So it's like, yeah, we'll let's honor you.

49:02

Also, I'd be laughing even at Oakwood. He got kicked out

49:04

till he blew up. Then it's like, come on back to

49:06

you. Come on back. I'm just saying, you know me? We

49:08

need a commencement speaker. The reason why Michigan State, cause the

49:10

honor of Dr. June. Of course. He called. So

49:13

I'm like, Dr. June, I ain't gonna- But if you want me to, I'm like,

49:15

doc, I'll be there. So I'm just saying to you,

49:18

because we're not victims, even

49:21

the places that once- Now-

49:25

Play politics. Now you can't play politics

49:27

no more. I'm just saying. Now other people saying they

49:29

playing politics by letting you come in and get in

49:31

the war, and they ain't get- You feel me? And

49:33

they never left, and you left, and you get in

49:35

the war. And I've been here for 20 years, and

49:37

I ain't get no war. Politics. But,

49:40

but, but, everywhere we go-

49:42

The sidekick here. The sidekick, yeah. But

49:44

everywhere we go, you see the Michigan

49:46

State boy, and you see how it's-

49:48

So I'm saying here go the second one. The second

49:51

one, the second one.

49:53

Okay, so here's the deal. The first

49:55

one, the victim boy, it

49:57

feels good temporarily, as things go.

50:00

in the long run. The second

50:02

one, it stings temporarily,

50:04

but you win in the long run. So

50:07

the second one, when you hear, you

50:10

can't read, you can't write, you

50:13

don't understand the eight parts of speech, bro, I was

50:15

in college. And I didn't understand

50:17

the eight parts of speech, bro, I was in college.

50:19

I didn't understand topic,

50:22

body, body, conclusion. Like,

50:24

bro, the conclusion used to have me blew out.

50:26

I'm saying, I got to write what I

50:28

wrote. I said that

50:31

in the beginning. I'm like, how do I

50:33

summarize what I said in the beginning? And

50:35

if I can do that, can I just

50:37

write the whole thing? I could just do

50:39

that. I'd rather just give

50:43

you the supportive boy. And the one that used

50:45

to kill me was the succinctness. Like,

50:48

okay, you want me to say one thing and don't say

50:50

nothing different than that. One thing I said, you just want

50:52

me to keep saying that. The whole thing is about this

50:54

one thing. I'm

50:56

like, I'm

50:59

like, come on somebody. So, so, but that's

51:01

when you had that stroke. What

51:06

a stroke. You

51:10

really. The

51:13

rewrite that paper. I don't know what the point

51:16

of that was. But

51:26

on some whatever. So,

51:29

so it hurts, man. That first one, it

51:33

hurts because you got to take and

51:35

absorb all of the responsibility, all of

51:37

the fall, even if some of it

51:40

don't belong to you. You got to

51:42

absorb all. You got to take all.

51:44

You can't rewrite. But when you start,

51:47

now that's the next level. When

51:49

you start doing that, that's what you have

51:51

to do. The second part, when you start

51:53

taking full responsibility and just being like, I

51:55

take some, give me that too. That's

51:58

when you can go to a whole. That's

52:00

when you become the best at what you do. And so for

52:02

me, it was like, man, can I blame

52:04

my father a little bit? And it's like, nah,

52:07

you got to say, had he been

52:09

in my life, maybe the

52:11

path might've been a little

52:13

smoother, but you have to

52:15

take responsibility for what you did in class. And

52:18

you have to take responsibility of, yes, maybe

52:20

you were wired to not necessarily

52:23

naturally see things. Oh, my wife tells somebody, uh,

52:25

okay, you crying about not having your daddy, but

52:27

your daddy didn't want to be in your life.

52:29

How you know it's not a good thing that

52:31

this type of person didn't want to be. Maybe

52:34

God kept you from that. Maybe

52:36

that's the best thing that ever happened to you is that your

52:39

dad wasn't in your life. Yeah. You

52:41

don't know. Yeah, that's real. And

52:43

when you, and when you, and when you, but that's it, but

52:45

if you could take that, yeah, that's what I'm saying. God bless

52:47

me. You absorbed all of us

52:49

for me to be messed up. Had my

52:51

man been around. And then that's when perspective

52:54

change, when you take full responsibility and when

52:56

you take and possibilities. Yeah.

52:59

So that, but I'm saying though, the possibilities

53:01

come from the perspective. There are

53:03

no possibilities when you're perspective. When

53:05

you're, if it's my daddy's fault,

53:08

there are no possibilities, but once my

53:10

perspective about the same thing, the

53:13

same thing, that's like, yo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

53:15

no. No, I'm just being honest. And

53:18

I see it in my kids, my daughter,

53:20

bro, to this day, I don't know how

53:22

Jada did it. Jada would

53:24

see a word at three or

53:26

four and she could sound it

53:28

out. Jada would see execution at

53:30

four or five and go execution. She

53:34

didn't, we didn't train her no more than we trained

53:36

Jaylen. They went to the same schools. They had the

53:38

same teachers. But for

53:40

whatever reason, now when it came to

53:42

math, Jada couldn't, it was

53:44

foreign. She couldn't understand math to

53:47

save her life. Jaylen math, he could do

53:49

numbers in his head. Jada

53:51

couldn't. So I always knew that I

53:54

had a natural challenge

53:58

with phonetics. But when

54:00

you take full responsibility, it

54:03

was, you don't need to naturally be gifted

54:05

anything on this earth. It's repetition.

54:07

It's 10,000 hours. Yeah.

54:10

There are people who come from other

54:12

countries who didn't speak a lick of

54:14

English, but when they got here, they

54:16

needed English to survive. So

54:18

they learned the English language. Why? Repetit... I

54:20

was just talking to a young lady. She

54:22

was like, yeah, I learned from watching Judge

54:24

Judy. And then I listened

54:27

to country music. I'm saying, you

54:29

learned the language from watching Judge Judy

54:31

and listening to country music? I

54:34

was like, oh, that part makes sense. Both

54:36

of them really, when I think about it,

54:38

both of them make sense when you think

54:41

about structurally who you're listening to and whatever.

54:43

But for me, it was like, oh,

54:46

okay. It's other people who didn't

54:48

know how to read, who learned how to read, who

54:51

didn't even come from this country. Didn't

54:53

speak the language. Didn't speak the language. E

54:56

18, 19, 20 past the years of what

54:58

do they call it? The formative years. They

55:00

was way past the formative years and they

55:02

got it. So it was like, okay, E, you

55:05

didn't get it naturally, which

55:08

means everything you need to get is not

55:10

given to you naturally. So

55:12

you didn't get it naturally. Is there another way to

55:14

get it? And if there is... Somebody

55:18

said this, man, is not what

55:20

you're capable of is what you're willing to

55:22

do. It's not what you're capable of,

55:24

it's what you're willing to do. Oh, absolutely. And

55:27

so when I... You'd be capable of a lot.

55:29

Yeah, more than you could ever imagine. Not, but

55:31

are you willing to... And so once I start

55:33

saying, yo, I want

55:36

the money or I want to not even

55:38

a degree, but I literally want

55:40

one thing in my life that I can

55:42

master because I realized in America,

55:44

if you want to make... If you

55:46

want your freedom, I'm not

55:48

even talking about making millions of dollars.

55:50

If you want your economic freedom, it could

55:52

be 200 grand, 210,000. If

55:55

you master one thing in this country, you

55:57

could blow up. I'm about to. I'm

56:00

about to master speaking. I'm about to master

56:02

the art of telling stories

56:04

and getting people to connect with those stories and change.

56:06

And whatever it takes. So when people say, you get

56:08

up at three o'clock in the morning, I was like,

56:10

yo, this is the only way I'm gonna be, I'm

56:13

not telling you to get up at three, but

56:15

I understand this is the only way,

56:18

if I get up early in the morning and

56:20

I grind this thing out, I will be able

56:22

to eventually catch up because

56:24

the way life is, bro, life is full of plateaus.

56:27

I don't care if I see a dude right now who body

56:29

built, bro, your muscles can only

56:31

go so far. Bro, it's like

56:33

after 10 years of working out, well five,

56:36

probably three, unless you taking

56:38

some drugs, you can't make your body do nothing

56:40

else. Somebody can start and

56:42

catch up to you. And

56:44

when I realized that you

56:46

could have a Michael Jordan in

56:48

the NBA or college, and

56:51

what was my man name? Come on

56:53

y'all, James Worthy. James Worthy said,

56:56

when Michael Jordan came to North Carolina,

56:58

I was a way better player than

57:00

Michael Jordan. He

57:02

said by his sophomore year, Michael

57:05

Jordan was murdering. Kenny

57:08

Smith said, Mike then had no

57:10

handles. He said, Mike came

57:12

back after the next, he

57:15

said, I was like, Mike ain't got no, I

57:17

have deep problem, lock my man down, but he

57:19

said, Mike came back the next year. He

57:23

said, I couldn't, bro, Mike was on

57:25

a whole nother level. And so

57:27

I realized like, okay, you

57:29

gotta let the daddy card go. I'm like,

57:32

put it away? Like, no, you gotta let it

57:34

go. The mama card, you gotta put

57:36

it away. You gotta let it go. The grew

57:38

up in Chicago, Detroit, yeah, you gotta put it

57:40

away. You gotta put everything away and

57:43

you gotta bring Eric out, the real Eric

57:45

Thomas, will the real Eric Thomas please stand

57:47

up and you gotta take ownership for

57:51

everything that happened in your life because you were

57:53

responsible for it. But I'm gonna tell y'all this

57:55

man, I said this to D.D. the other day,

57:58

actually, I was D.D.A. and C. Because

58:00

I was just talking about Carl people in my life who like

58:03

a you know, that was been with me since back in the day

58:07

and are not

58:09

necessarily, you know, it's like

58:11

people want to be like, you think you you think

58:13

you somebody and it's like, let me tell you

58:15

something. I'm the first to tell you I'm not perfect, but I am

58:18

progressing. But here's what I tell everybody. The

58:21

difference between you and I is that

58:23

we both were victimized. I

58:26

won. You still trying to figure it out. I

58:28

won. I won and just say, hey,

58:31

my victim, let him go wherever you want to go.

58:33

Do whatever you want to do. I'm not here to

58:35

punish my victim. I'm here to enjoy my life. And

58:39

there are those of you are out there. You're trying

58:41

to punish your victim. You're trying to

58:43

make sure they get what they supposed to get.

58:45

And they, you know, pay for how they hurt

58:47

you and they pay for how they let you

58:49

down. And they pay like what you said, you

58:51

know, my man, he didn't call us. He didn't

58:54

give us explanation. And many people are still stuck

58:56

10 years ago, 20 years ago, trying to get

58:58

an explanation of what happened. And you stuck and

59:00

try to make sure your victim hits his punch.

59:02

Let me free you. Let me free

59:04

you. Let me free you.

59:07

Here's what the scripture says. Vengeance is mine. Said

59:09

the Lord of hosts. What you should

59:11

be focusing on is not your victim and stand

59:13

down. Because if you keep your victim down, you

59:15

got to stay down with your victim. What

59:17

you should be focusing on is living an

59:20

abundant life. And people, there

59:22

are people who I know who are,

59:24

you know, I don't even think people are envious or

59:26

jealous of us. That's not what they are. They

59:28

are hurt that they never figured it

59:31

out. And

59:33

you figured it out. And I

59:35

won everything the devil tried

59:37

to do. Whatever, whatever was

59:39

meant to happen with me having a 17 year

59:41

old mom and not having my dad in my

59:44

life, whatever was meant to happen for me going

59:46

to a school district that wasn't able to meet

59:48

my particular needs, whatever happened with the anger that

59:50

I had that made me home for I figured

59:52

it all out and got on the other side

59:54

of it. I won. And

59:56

I have to remind you because some of y'all think

59:59

what happened with South Carolina. Carolina is a norm,

1:00:02

it's an anomaly. Having

1:00:05

an undefeated season is an

1:00:07

anomaly. That don't happen. But what

1:00:09

does happen is people winning championships

1:00:11

and still losing the best season

1:00:14

in the NBA in 72

1:00:16

and 10. They took 10,

1:00:19

Jordan, they lost 10 games that year. And a

1:00:21

lot of you were- That's the Golden State Brigadier.

1:00:23

But they didn't win the championship. They didn't win the championship.

1:00:25

Yeah, but they- Okay, cool. Yep, they

1:00:28

didn't win the championship. So they won the rec, but didn't

1:00:30

win the big boy. I'm telling you how to win a

1:00:32

big boy. You're going to take some Ls. But

1:00:34

stop looking at the Ls. Don't nobody

1:00:36

win the championship and go, all right,

1:00:39

before we enjoy the championship, you remember

1:00:41

them 10 losses we took? Let's

1:00:43

sit down and focus on those 10 losses. They

1:00:46

focusing on the 72 and that

1:00:48

run they made in the championship game. And I'm telling

1:00:50

you, stop trying to get revenge

1:00:55

and stop trying to hurt the people that

1:00:57

hurt you and get on with the rest of your life.

1:01:00

And you win by doing what? Take your ownership

1:01:02

and you win by not acting like your

1:01:04

past didn't exist. Nobody's trying

1:01:06

to tell you to act like it didn't exist. We tell you

1:01:08

don't give it to power. It doesn't deserve. Let

1:01:11

the Ls go in the column that they go in. Let

1:01:14

the wins go in the column that they go in. And

1:01:17

you, you stack up them Ws.

1:01:20

Let the Ls go, focus on the Ws,

1:01:22

stack up the Ws and man, make the

1:01:24

rest of your life the best. And

1:01:27

you just imagine and forgive me, all I'm just

1:01:29

imagining he growing up with a two parent stable

1:01:31

home. Oh yeah. Thank God

1:01:33

he didn't. I'm just like straight up. Think about

1:01:35

it. Like, bro, you were new. Half your passion,

1:01:37

like all your energy is gone. So

1:01:40

it's like,

1:01:43

to your point, the perspective of just like, yo, you put

1:01:45

you in a two period home and the world does not

1:01:47

exist as the way it is right now. I want to

1:01:49

give a, we gave out the victim trophy. I

1:01:51

want to give out the self assessed trophy. I don't know if

1:01:54

you've seen buddy from Alabama after

1:01:56

the game. So his

1:01:58

name Sears, the little. point guard. Okay.

1:02:01

And uh, look, look what I record. I was on the

1:02:03

porch watching it and I said, yeah, let me pull out.

1:02:05

I meant to send it to you. I forgot. I was

1:02:07

just thinking about it. Listen to what my man said. This

1:02:11

will right there. Hold on.

1:02:13

I gotta get to the

1:02:15

interview. Yeah.

1:02:22

The hard work always say off hard work

1:02:25

undefeated. I wasn't here without the hard

1:02:32

work. My man

1:02:34

said hard work and he feed

1:02:36

it. Like just paste that clip

1:02:38

in there. Maybe, uh, but

1:02:50

my man said hard work undefeated, bro. He said, bro,

1:02:52

I'm gonna just be real with you. He was like, I

1:02:55

ain't got, I'm six one, but I ain't got all the

1:02:57

potential. All them guys got the hard work

1:02:59

is undefeated for him to say that

1:03:01

on the way to the final four. We

1:03:05

just talked about my man D three,

1:03:08

you know, third string point guard.

1:03:12

You talk about the lead practice squad. I'm

1:03:14

just saying my man playing point guard for

1:03:16

Alabama just took him to the final four.

1:03:19

You know, last week they lost now, but took him to

1:03:21

the final four and was like,

1:03:23

yeah, I ain't, I ain't I'm six one,

1:03:25

bro. I ain't got all that. I

1:03:27

ain't that six, seven point guard coming down. Like here's

1:03:31

the crazy thing. When you

1:03:33

self-assess now you

1:03:35

can play in reality. Do

1:03:38

you know how many shots my man probably didn't

1:03:40

shoot? Cause he knew this

1:03:43

ain't my shot because

1:03:45

when you fail to self-assess, you fail to self-assess in

1:03:47

a lot of areas. So you come out

1:03:50

thinking you, my man know he

1:03:52

know what his game is. He

1:03:54

was able to self-assess and go, that ain't, that ain't my

1:03:56

game. I'm past bros. I'm this, I'm

1:03:58

not. So anyway, trophy goes to my

1:04:01

man Sears from Alabama. Uh, and

1:04:04

that's presented by Organifi the super full

1:04:06

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1:04:08

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the green juice. I see it over there. I'm about

1:04:26

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1:04:40

uh, yeah, try it out. Let us know what you think.

1:04:42

Join your again. If I can say we got a little

1:04:44

couple of again, a five little, send a couple of things,

1:04:46

you know, I'm saying a little bottle. Take

1:04:49

that right there to fat. Um, but

1:04:52

yeah, no, I appreciate y'all boys, man. That was

1:04:54

a good, that was a good one. You good?

1:04:57

I'm going to say, I ain't see your

1:04:59

text to let I was outside. Oh yeah.

1:05:02

I was literally standing out there. Oh yeah. No, I see

1:05:04

your text. I was like, Oh, I

1:05:06

saw your text when I sat here. Oh, my bad. We'll

1:05:08

see if we can get Dr. King back in the building

1:05:11

next week. We out of here. We love y'all. We'll see

1:05:13

you next week. Thank

1:05:27

you so much for rocking with

1:05:29

us as always, right? We

1:05:35

don't take it lightly guys. And we hope

1:05:37

that we've provided transformation and not just information.

1:05:39

We want you to become the best version

1:05:42

of yourself. All right. Make sure you check

1:05:44

out the show notes to access all the

1:05:46

important links and get your product discount. Now,

1:05:48

one favor we're asking of you, do us

1:05:50

this favor. Make sure you subscribe and leave

1:05:52

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1:05:54

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1:05:57

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1:05:59

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1:06:01

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with them. And remember, as he always says,

1:06:05

if you want to succeed as bad as

1:06:07

you want to breathe, then you'll be successful.