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code shameless. This is the Shameless

1:45

Mom Academy, episode 867 with Alison

1:47

Baber. Show

1:50

notes for this episode including any links mentioned

1:52

in the episode can be found by going

1:54

to shamelessmom.com and clicking on episode 867. Welcome.

2:02

To the same less mom. Academy I'm your

2:04

host Sarah Dame. And here

2:06

to give you and other

2:08

passionate, driven, unapologetic mom's stories.

2:11

tools, resources l Little biddy

2:13

humor to help you lead

2:15

more powerful, positive and purposeful

2:17

lives every damn day. So

2:19

let's dive in. Alison.

2:25

Baber is a Mom Weiss and

2:27

tenured sales leader with experience in

2:29

both start ups and major public

2:32

enterprises. Her background spans across chemical

2:34

engineering, medical device and capital equipment

2:36

field, sales, tax sales, and advisory

2:38

roles. Currently Allison serves as the

2:40

Vp of Commercial Sales that outreach.

2:43

Previously she held roles as the

2:45

of sales at Mellow and helps

2:47

zoom scale Zoom as in like

2:49

the Zoom see how the Zune

2:52

scale of from fifteen million to

2:54

four billion in revenue. During

2:56

the pandemic. Prior to that see lead

2:58

new business and expanse in sales at

3:00

Send Grid now Tulio and various start

3:03

at teams with in intuit. Alison has

3:05

a passion for leadership at problem solving,

3:07

data analytics and creating clarity and process

3:09

from chaos that she can't say no

3:12

to a good challenge. So she's been

3:14

advisor for Multiple Start Us and is

3:16

an L P at States to Capital.

3:19

Allison lives in Colorado with her husband,

3:21

two children and a puppy named Baxter.

3:23

Yes, As and Baxter from. Anchorman in

3:25

her free time. She enjoys taking advantage

3:27

of all things Colorado, traveling, having a

3:29

creative outlet through multiple art mediums, and

3:31

attempting to learned to ski well past

3:33

the level of her comfort which you

3:35

know I can relate to as someone

3:37

who was also learned to ski well

3:39

past the full of her comfort. So

3:42

I actually met Allison and events in

3:44

the Fall. I was a speaker and

3:46

a coach at this events and shutouts

3:48

him eight zero seat Friends in a

3:50

Peak who helps kind of get all

3:52

this up and running and then introduced

3:54

me to Allison. and allison and

3:56

i just immediately hit it off we met

3:58

up on zoom in advance of the work

4:00

I was going to be doing during the main event,

4:02

and just totally had immediate synergy. I was so

4:05

excited to go in and support her team and

4:07

her Women in Sales team during this event.

4:09

It was fabulous and phenomenal and just such a

4:11

fun experience. And so from there, I

4:13

said, hey, I'd love to have you come on the

4:15

show. And so we made it happen, and here she

4:17

is. And this is a really great conversation.

4:20

So listening to hear Allison share how healing

4:22

her eating disorder in her teens and 20s

4:25

shaped who she is today as a

4:27

woman and a leader, how her eating

4:29

disorder was a coping mechanism for stress,

4:32

anxiety, uncertainty, and ambiguity, how she got

4:34

affordable and effective eating disorder help in

4:36

a surprising place, and ultimately, that allowed

4:38

her to be in recovery for 15

4:40

years now, which is such an incredible

4:43

achievement, how her recovery impacts how she

4:45

shows up in personal relationships and leads

4:47

in professional spaces, her and her husband's

4:49

winning decision for him to stay home

4:51

as their kid's primary caregiver while she

4:54

pursues executive leadership roles, how

4:56

she is consciously building her own leadership

4:58

brand, which is one of my

5:00

favorite things to talk to leaders about and

5:02

coach leaders on, by the way, what a

5:04

leadership brand can look like for highly effective

5:06

leaders. And this can be in community leadership,

5:08

in workplace leadership, in your own business leadership,

5:10

in any of the places that we lead,

5:13

in your household leadership. And then she talks

5:15

about how she navigates her desire to be

5:17

respected versus being liked, which, oh, that's a

5:19

big one for women. So this

5:21

was a really great conversation. I'm so grateful

5:23

to Allison for taking the time. So please

5:26

help me in joining Allison Baber to the

5:28

Shameless Mom Academy. Allison,

5:31

welcome to the Shameless Mom Academy. I'm so happy

5:33

to have you here. Thanks, Sarah. Really great to

5:35

be here. Thanks for inviting me. What a

5:37

privilege. Well, I have to tell the, I feel

5:39

like it's a privilege. I

5:41

have to tell people how we met. We met through

5:44

my dear, a mutual friend, my dear friend, Dana, who's

5:47

been a guest on the show as well. But

5:49

I got to show the stage with you at

5:51

a big event a few months ago. And I

5:53

got to see you in your zone of genius

5:55

and just operating at this high level of leadership.

5:57

And it was so fun and so exciting. So

6:00

it feels really special to then have it come full circle

6:02

for you to come and be a guest on the show.

6:04

And you get to sit like, on my stage. Well,

6:07

thank you so much. It was wonderful to share that

6:09

stage with you and now share this stage with you.

6:11

But I think from our very first conversation, we just

6:13

had so many things that we can connect on. And

6:15

so I'm really excited to try with you today. Yes,

6:18

yes. And I laugh with my audience and when

6:20

I have various guests on, where I can always

6:22

tell in a pre-interview, where I'm like, oh, this

6:24

is going to be great. And we did a

6:26

pre-interview for me being on your stage months ago.

6:28

And it was like, oh, this is going to

6:30

be great. I

6:33

feel like we could talk for hours. So

6:35

we have our own follow up after the

6:37

podcast. Totally. And we'll be like friends. So

6:39

that'll be fun. Yes. So I want

6:41

to dig in. And let's start where we

6:43

always start on the show with the dynamics

6:45

of your personal and professional life a little

6:48

beyond your bio and anything you're really excited

6:50

about right now. Right now, since

6:52

it's a Friday, I'm kind of excited about the

6:54

weekend. But I have been traveling last week. I

6:56

was traveling this week. I was in Atlanta. And

6:58

next week, I'm going to be in Seattle. And

7:00

I reside in Denver. So anytime I can have

7:02

kind of a low-key weekend, I really love that.

7:04

So that's in my immediate future what I'm excited

7:06

about. But I think for

7:09

me, what I'm excited about just professionally

7:11

is we're kicking off our fiscal year,

7:13

February And so we've

7:15

just got so many exciting things

7:18

ahead at the company. We've

7:20

had a lot of change this past year, which I

7:22

think a lot of companies have had. It

7:24

was just kind of a wonky time in

7:26

the economy and in tech

7:28

in general. But I'm really looking

7:30

forward to what's to come. I've

7:33

had the good fortune of hiring

7:35

some really amazing leaders recently that

7:37

we were able to backfill and

7:39

hire into some really strategic roles.

7:41

And I'm really excited to work

7:43

with them in my immediate team.

7:45

And then from a more senior

7:47

team, we've hired some really amazing

7:49

talent across the company. And I just

7:52

love learning from others and from their

7:54

experiences. And I think that's just a

7:56

part of my journey overall, is I'm always looking

7:58

to grow as a leader. individual and

8:00

other professional and I love working with

8:03

people with diverse backgrounds and so that's

8:05

kind of what's most exciting for me

8:07

right now professionally I guess if that

8:09

makes sense. So I love that.

8:11

I love the and I think this is

8:13

so relatable. I love the like big excitement around

8:16

these big things that are happening in a company

8:18

and leadership and like these seems like big rocks

8:20

and big things to be excited about at this

8:22

point in 2024 but then also I'm just

8:24

excited because it's Friday

8:27

and like mama needs a nap.

8:29

Well I mean if I'm being completely honest like

8:31

yes I'm excited to just like cozy up it

8:33

is Denver in the middle of the winter it's

8:35

a little chilly here and my husband and I

8:37

just started a new show together last night

8:39

which is always challenging to like

8:42

find those shows that you both have so I'm kind

8:44

of looking forward to a Friday evening too where I'm

8:46

like in my PJs watching a show maybe doing a

8:48

family movie night or something like that so when

8:51

you ask me that I'm like I can think

8:53

of like two things that may or may not

8:55

be relevant but they're completely like unrelated and very

8:57

different ends of the spectrum too but I think

8:59

that's like the juxtaposition of motherhood and

9:01

career right? I think where you're like I just

9:03

want to like snuggle and then I also want

9:06

to be like in charge of the people and

9:08

the decisions and the leader and like the CEO

9:10

and the decision maker and all the and I love

9:12

that those things get to coexist and that we get to

9:14

have these really really heightened experiences but

9:17

that they're so different and they add

9:19

so much I think so much value

9:21

to our lives but also they're so

9:23

fulfilling as well. I agree

9:25

with that and I guess a couple

9:27

companies ago at our women at the

9:29

company ERG and they were

9:31

asking about balance and like how do you

9:34

balance it all? How do you like what

9:36

does your work-life balance look like and I

9:38

just said I don't think I mean I

9:40

think I've come to this realization that I

9:42

don't know if there's actually such a thing

9:44

as work-life balance I think that actually throws

9:46

it off for me if I try to

9:48

live to that standard I think there's more

9:50

like work-life integration and like finding a number

9:52

of different areas of your life so that

9:54

you can feel balanced and fulfilled even

9:57

though things are usually for me especially

9:59

like out of whack and

10:01

out of balance. But you know, having

10:03

time to like spend with my family

10:05

or like getting excited about those things

10:07

can be just as exciting as getting

10:09

excited about things that at work too.

10:12

But integrating the both of them I

10:14

think is really important at times also.

10:16

Like there's not necessarily a cut off

10:18

of like, sometimes there is but oftentimes

10:20

there's not like when you leave work and

10:22

when they're home and you know,

10:25

the overlap is real. Yeah,

10:27

exactly. So and we'll get into

10:30

more of that. No, that was just perfect because

10:32

we're going to dig into that in a minute

10:34

for sure. I want to back up a little

10:36

bit before work and career even before kids. I

10:39

would love to talk a little bit about when

10:41

we initially spoke a number of months ago now

10:43

you just like kind of casually we started mentioning

10:45

like health and wellness and both kind of coming

10:48

from this background and then we started talking about

10:50

mental health and we have all this alignment. And

10:52

one of the things that we thought would be fun

10:54

to talk about in this conversation is your health

10:57

and healing journey and what that has looked

10:59

like for you. You have, I mean everyone

11:01

has their own very specific version of what

11:03

their health has looked like for them over

11:05

the years, whether it's mental health or physical

11:07

health or a combination of both and how

11:10

that impacts where they're at today. But you

11:12

have gone on this really specific healing journey

11:14

on the back end of some significant health

11:16

stuff. Can you walk us through a little

11:18

bit of that and talk about how that

11:20

has been a significant piece of who

11:22

you are today? Yeah, I love this

11:24

question so much because I feel

11:27

like I'm an open book around this topic

11:30

and the reason why I'm an

11:32

open book around it is because through

11:34

that experience and through the healing like

11:36

I really was able to find connection

11:39

and I think through vulnerability comes connection

11:41

and without that experience I wouldn't have

11:43

been able to be the

11:46

leader, the mom, the wife that I

11:48

am today, the friend, the sister, the

11:50

daughter, like all of the things. But really I think

11:52

it's helped me show up in my daily life so

11:54

much better. So I think maybe

11:56

what you're alluding to is I struggled with

11:59

an eating disorder. There are quite a

12:01

good portion of my in. Late.

12:03

Teens early to mid twenties actually and now

12:06

I know so much about why that is

12:08

that during that time I was really seem

12:10

floating around it like I was tall as

12:12

there was something that I should be able

12:15

to control the as to be able to

12:17

get over that I should be able to

12:19

do the on my own I didn't really

12:21

understand my why I was necessarily than in

12:24

that place like I was healthy and strong

12:26

and like smart and educated and I felt

12:28

like why is this the thing that I

12:30

have a struggle with and rid of I

12:33

found. Him that experience that was you

12:35

know we can. Asking for help

12:37

was the hardest initial set to

12:39

take. that. Once I actually

12:41

got traction and momentum in that

12:43

journey and asking for help, it

12:45

made me so much more comfortable

12:48

with the relationship that I have

12:50

with myself. It allowed me to

12:52

really open up and understand that

12:54

I'm not alone and so many

12:56

ways like and that really my

12:58

eating disorder with more about will

13:00

be mechanism than it was any

13:02

thing else Because I had never

13:04

really learned healthy coping mechanisms for

13:06

stress or anxiety or unknown or

13:08

of ambiguity or any. Really?

13:11

A lot of other things that

13:13

come up among themselves. That journey

13:15

was really crucial in terms of

13:17

treating. And. Developing the type of

13:19

person I am today and I am

13:21

so. Grateful for that

13:24

experience and. I. Know it

13:26

sounds maybe a little silly to say

13:28

that I'm so grateful for having that

13:30

eating disorder, but has it just opened

13:32

my eyes to anomaly? a community better

13:34

way of life. I'm. Living

13:37

my life and like handling. Challenges

13:39

that come their way now and like

13:42

just how I communicate. Openly.

13:45

I guess about a lot of different

13:47

areas nonsense about. My. Eating

13:49

disorder fortunately which I'm very grateful

13:51

to be in recovery now for

13:54

fast probably fifteen years or sell

13:56

sell for me. You know it's it's

13:58

been a blessing I guess. That way and

14:00

so many things on that journey a play a

14:02

crucial role and is why I'm as. A

14:05

leader, a mom and dad are a sister

14:07

at life, etc. Today and then thank you

14:09

for sharing that. This. Episode is

14:11

supported by a podcast I want to

14:13

share with you called Understood Explains. So

14:15

this is so is about not eating

14:18

a D H D Dyslexia and other

14:20

learning and thinking differences which can be

14:22

so confusing scene and so every as

14:24

season of the South is around a

14:26

different theme. So there's a season on

14:28

Special Education, There's a season on a

14:30

D H D Diagnosis for Adults and

14:32

the current season is all about eighties.

14:34

I love this podcast because episodes or

14:36

ten to fifteen minutes long as you

14:38

were short on time or scored on

14:41

focus. You can take this continent super quickly

14:43

easily. It's very digestible and the show is hosted

14:45

by teacher and special education experts. Cooley Honor or

14:47

two bags civilly on A talks about how to

14:49

navigate educational plans Ip She talks about the differences

14:52

between I if he's and Five A for plans.

14:54

She really break things down in a really clear

14:56

and simple way so that you have some of

14:58

those questions that you might be thinking around like

15:01

this is pertain to my child is is something

15:03

I need to be looking into. Like where do

15:05

we go from here Would or I go five

15:07

questions Who the on A you covered She explains

15:10

the so many different things. And semi different

15:12

little pieces and nuance of The Eyed Peas

15:14

in Special Education and with different things on

15:16

Understood Explains I want you to go check

15:18

it out. Wherever you're listening to this podcast

15:20

you can go listen to Understood Explains just

15:22

going to your podcast app. Do a search

15:24

for Understood Explains and it will pop right

15:27

up quick i figure episode and get the

15:29

answers that you been looking for in the

15:31

support that you need around different learning differences

15:33

and differences in school. When. It comes

15:35

to raising kids. There's so much second

15:37

said or things like go to, we

15:39

see them and we see that one

15:41

that as a sleeve. What is also

15:43

to a kind of kids hundred they're

15:45

nervous, system works. how do we keep

15:48

myself com? what are my triggers? There's

15:50

so much that comes into play and

15:52

we are distilling all of that information

15:54

for you at Voices of Your Village

15:56

Podcasts where we bring experts in the

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16:00

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16:02

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16:04

internet for information, use it to

16:06

show up and hang out and

16:08

have same free and judgment free

16:10

conversations and insight into what it

16:12

looks like to raise kind, empathetic,

16:14

emotionally intelligent human. I'm Alyssa Blast

16:16

Campbell have a master's degree in

16:19

early Childhood education. I'm a mom

16:21

of two and I am walking

16:23

this journey right alongside you doing

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this work, Com hang out with

16:27

me and voices of your village

16:29

and weekend. Dive into real

16:31

conversations with actionable tests, Use.

16:35

Some really specific words and I and a

16:37

concept that I think it's really important to

16:39

call outs. And we've talked about people and

16:41

eating. Disorders on the show before in various

16:44

ways and to varying degrees. I don't

16:46

know that I've ever had someone really

16:48

explicitly say my eating disorder was a

16:50

coping mechanism because I didn't have other

16:52

better coping mechanisms in place to manage

16:54

stress, anxiety, And then you said the

16:56

word ambiguity Boots I love because I think

16:58

a whole bunch of people listening, including myself,

17:00

were like. Oh I hate

17:02

ambiguity but I don't care what the

17:04

thing is, just tell me what it

17:06

like if it's gonna be the worst

17:08

cases tommy source case like and are

17:11

figuring things out but the not knowing

17:13

which is but with been so hard

17:15

I think for people over the last

17:17

handful of years since two thousand his

17:19

money that can be incredibly challenging and

17:21

if you don't have skills and place

17:23

to manage those feelings and sensations then

17:25

yes we do turn to other ways

17:27

of coping. Bambee really really detrimental as

17:29

more common than we think and sadly.

17:32

Pretty. Common with young women, young girls,

17:34

and young women, but I also think

17:36

this is happening with middle aged women

17:38

to. I don't think that eating disorders

17:41

are and women having eating disorders and

17:43

using many of those habits and behaviors

17:45

of coping mechanisms and something this isolated

17:48

to younger people. Can you talk a

17:50

little bit about. That recognition and

17:52

how you ask for help for anyone

17:54

who might be recognizing like oh wow

17:56

this is something that may be is.

17:59

It might be something. That's relevant in my life. Right

18:01

now And and where does one start? Yeah.

18:03

Oh gosh I'm so happy dance Be

18:05

able to share this and it you

18:07

know for help. Anyone else that may

18:09

be experiencing us are not been serve

18:11

where to turn? It in for me

18:13

and I'll talk a little bit about this. After I

18:16

have a higher for help it I

18:18

just realized how much my eating disorder

18:20

was really not the root of it

18:22

but it was like I mentioned before

18:24

the Toby mechanism but also like now

18:26

I can understand all of the triggers

18:28

I go along with. Side so mommy

18:30

says in the beginning on I think

18:32

growing up I grew up in the

18:35

midwest in a blue collar area and

18:37

like asking for help or even really

18:39

talking about your emotions was not something

18:41

that was fairly common. I didn't see

18:43

a therapist ever and tell my. Early

18:45

twenties and I think even the

18:47

stigma around that does. Twenty years

18:49

ago. With. So much different than

18:52

a what it is today and it's so much

18:54

more widely accepted. But as. For. Me I

18:56

always look that to therapy as while

18:58

you must really have serious problems or

19:01

things each just can't figure out on

19:03

your own like it just was not

19:05

widely accepted in my. Family and

19:07

my inner circle or anything like that. It's.

19:10

That. For me was really returning player

19:12

and amazon a therapist for a couple

19:14

sessions honestly because it wasn't really a

19:17

great fit and which I think can

19:19

be it's own challenge honestly of finding

19:21

the right therapist and just. Sometimes.

19:24

This, the feeling of over home that

19:26

comes with that. It just seems almost

19:28

daunting to try to find a person

19:30

that sets for years. So I just

19:32

remember being in that fashion and. It

19:34

was a referral from a. Friend who is also going

19:36

to see that therapist at the time and

19:39

so does having again a connection or having

19:41

someone share with me that it it's of

19:43

he to see a therapist and open that

19:45

door And then the therapists asked me why

19:47

do you have an eating disorder and I

19:49

said why are you believe Max out with

19:52

my eating disorder of twice although I've dabbled

19:54

in quite a few different areas that I

19:56

said we're gonna be skinny and she said

19:58

now that is. not usually

20:00

why people have an eating disorder.

20:02

And so it really got me in

20:04

tune with, wow, I'm so disconnected

20:06

from like really where and why

20:08

this is coming up for me.

20:11

And she recommended Overeaters Anonymous. And

20:14

I looked at her when she recommended that and

20:17

I said, oh, I'm sorry, you

20:19

must have misheard me. I want

20:21

to be skinny and I am

20:23

bulimic. I don't have a problem

20:25

with like overeating. And really

20:27

that was the catch all program though for

20:30

most people that have eating disorders and eating

20:32

disorders can show up in so many different

20:34

ways. And really I do tend to overeat

20:36

when I'm stressed but the way that I

20:38

dealt with it was not normal. And so

20:41

I really dove in

20:43

to a 12 step program journey for a

20:45

really long time. And for me at that point

20:47

in my life, like that's what worked for me

20:49

because I was living in a really expensive

20:51

part of the city. I didn't actually have a lot of money

20:54

for therapy. And one of the things that they would say in

20:56

the rooms it's really a dollar

20:59

or two per meeting therapy session. And

21:02

the community that I felt in those rooms,

21:04

the recovery that I was able to find,

21:07

the ways to actually healthfully and healthily,

21:09

I guess, feel with the things

21:11

that come up in everyday life is just

21:14

such a gift. And I still

21:16

incorporate, even though I'm not active in a

21:18

12 step program, I still incorporate so many

21:20

of those tools in the toolkit

21:23

in that journey for me. So that's what

21:25

worked for me. I'm also very

21:27

open in sharing that I see

21:29

a therapist weekly. I also have

21:31

consulted business and leadership coaches along

21:33

the way too, that maybe fill

21:35

in different gaps for me that

21:38

my therapist doesn't, but I

21:40

am no longer afraid to talk about going

21:43

to therapy openly. I think it's actually something

21:46

really important that people should be

21:48

able and confident and comfortable asking for

21:50

help that they need, that they may not be

21:52

able to get in their day to day from

21:54

the people or themselves that they

21:56

interact with. So I don't know if that

21:58

answers your question, but that's... kind of how I heard it. Oh

22:01

my gosh, that's so helpful. I think

22:03

a bunch of people listening probably had

22:05

that same response that you had like

22:07

overators anonymous. Wait, what? Like that's

22:10

not the right spot. And it's so interesting

22:12

sometimes when we have preconceived notions

22:14

of what something is or is not, that we're

22:16

like, oh, that's not the thing or that's not

22:18

the right fit. And then we find ourselves in

22:20

rooms and we find that we can identify with

22:22

people or identify with illnesses that we

22:25

100% thought that

22:29

was not the room for us to be in. And I've

22:31

had a number of friends be in those situations

22:34

with other kinds of addiction and recovery spaces. And

22:36

I think it's such, from

22:38

what I've heard, it's such a humbling

22:40

experience. But also, as you mentioned, this

22:42

huge, huge gift to be able to

22:44

find something where you find your people

22:46

and people are able to meet you

22:48

where you are at because they're there

22:50

too. And that's really different than a

22:52

family member who's not in the same

22:54

spot or even an outside therapist who's

22:57

not in the same spot. But being able to really sit

22:59

in it with people who are in that same place in

23:01

their lives is it makes all the difference.

23:03

And the reason I said it worked for me at

23:05

that point in my life was because it was

23:08

a very affordable option. And I

23:10

think that mental health is sometimes

23:12

perceived as being a very expensive

23:15

thing these days that isn't necessarily always

23:17

covered by traditional health care programs or

23:20

insurance. But there are other options

23:22

out there if you're seeking them and feeling overwhelmed

23:24

by the cost of care. For

23:26

me, I wasn't quite at the

23:28

point where I needed an inpatient

23:30

or even an outpatient recovery program,

23:33

which also seemed really daunting and

23:35

expensive. And I had a

23:37

full-time job that I was

23:39

very proud of, I guess, and very invested

23:42

in. And so even just trying to think

23:44

of ways that I could incorporate recovery into

23:46

my life seemed overwhelming. So I'm just so

23:48

grateful that I found a program that was

23:51

able to work. And I know that there

23:53

are a lot of different avenues

23:55

that could work for others. And that's really just what worked

23:57

for me at that time. Yeah. I

24:00

think it's really important to pay attention

24:03

to the experiences that we've had earlier in

24:05

our lives and the things that we've overcome.

24:07

And this is something when I'm working with

24:09

groups and teams, something that I have people

24:12

do a lot. And I think when we

24:14

first get started, they're like, why are we

24:16

like talking about our personal histories in a

24:18

team training? But what's so interesting is

24:20

when we do look at these things and not because we need

24:22

to share all of these intimate details in the middle of a

24:24

work meeting, but when we just mentally note them or drop them

24:27

down on a piece of paper for private use only in a

24:29

team environment, when we

24:31

can look back at those things and recognize where we've come

24:33

from, it can give us such

24:35

a stabilizing sense of power moving forward. And

24:37

I love that you mentioned that there's things

24:40

that today, many years later, that

24:42

you're able to take from the 12-step recovery

24:44

process and apply to how you show up

24:46

in different ways today. I'm sure

24:48

this impacts your leadership, which I'm going to ask you about

24:50

in a minute. And I'm sure this

24:52

has also impacted the way that you want to show up and

24:54

help other people throughout your life.

24:57

And the different things that you've done in roles outside of

24:59

the work that you're currently doing. And

25:01

so I think we can be quick to

25:03

either minimize or completely dismiss things

25:05

that we've gone through by chance in

25:08

our past. And sometimes those

25:10

are the things that are like

25:12

our secret weapons to being really

25:14

successful moving forward. And

25:16

I always want to invite people to look at those

25:18

things. And when I do this in group environments, in

25:20

corporate settings, people are like, oh, my gosh, I

25:22

never thought about it. And then they're like, OK, now I'm going to ask

25:25

for the promotion. It's

25:27

really interesting to hear you do that too, because

25:29

I think that comes up in two ways or

25:31

brings two thoughts to the forefront of my mind.

25:33

One, I don't think if I wouldn't have gone

25:35

through that recovery and been a healthier version of

25:38

myself, I don't think I ever would have met

25:40

my husband because he was such

25:42

a healthier version of most of the men that

25:44

I was attracting at that time that he probably

25:46

wouldn't have been attracted to me in my

25:48

previous state. And then the other way that it

25:51

comes up is like I now look at that

25:53

experience and so many different

25:55

components of my life and my

25:58

journey overall as a child. strengths

26:00

versus weaknesses. And that's

26:02

really what's when you talked about like, it's made me

26:04

into the leader that I am today. It's also made

26:06

me the mom and the wife that I am today.

26:09

Like I look at things so

26:11

differently now with my daughter that I wish I would

26:13

have had growing up or I wish I would have

26:15

had from, you know, people in my life. And the

26:17

same thing now as a leader, I used to shy

26:19

away from the fact that I grew

26:22

up in a blue collar area that I

26:24

was one of the if not, I was

26:26

the first person in my immediate family to

26:28

graduate from college that I actually didn't have

26:30

a lot of money growing up that I

26:32

have struggled financially in quite

26:35

a few different areas of my life growing

26:37

up. And like, instead of looking at that

26:39

as a weakness, I now have compassion for

26:41

myself and others and my mom and dad.

26:44

And you know, I use that as a

26:46

point that propels me forward instead of like,

26:49

holding me back, I guess, if that

26:51

makes sense. So it's so interesting the

26:53

things that we carry shame or discomfort

26:55

around when we're younger, that then

26:58

we look at later and be like,

27:00

these are actually things that are really

27:02

helpful. And I, I appreciate you mentioning

27:04

your family's background. I grew up going

27:06

to private schools, but only because I was able to

27:08

get pretty much full scholarships everywhere because I was raised

27:11

by a single mom who had connections in the private school

27:13

community where I was living. And I

27:15

was so self conscious, I was always so worried that

27:17

someone was going to find out that I was quote

27:19

unquote poor and I was not poor, by the way,

27:22

middle class, but relative

27:24

to some of the kids at the schools I was

27:26

going to I felt poor, like, I

27:28

mean, I would not have all the fancy

27:30

clothes and the fancy cars. And I mean,

27:33

I had everything I needed, but I didn't

27:35

have all these extras. And I was always

27:37

watching other people like thinking, what is it

27:39

like? What is it like that their life

27:41

is that they have that new red car?

27:43

What is it like to live in that

27:45

big house? And now I can

27:47

look back and I'm so grateful that I had

27:50

to be scrappy in all these different ways to

27:52

get the things that I wanted. Because it's made

27:54

me like I can be real scrappy still and

27:56

I can make anything I want happen because of

27:58

it. Yes. Oh my gosh. I that 100%

28:01

resonates with me. I grew up in a two-parent household,

28:03

but I didn't even know

28:05

what I didn't have growing up until I

28:08

went to college because everyone in my immediate

28:10

hometown environment was in a similar situation, or

28:12

I felt actually like I had quite

28:15

a bit, or just everything seemed normal. And it

28:17

just kind of put it into perspective for

28:20

me that kind of what you said, what

28:22

you see from the outside and what maybe

28:24

you would want for isn't necessarily what

28:27

the reality always is in some of those situations.

28:29

And that really changed my

28:31

perspective and just allowed me

28:33

to have gratitude for the past and then also

28:35

in the present for what I had and just

28:37

being happy for what I have and not comparing

28:39

myself to others, I guess. I love that. We're

28:42

totally keeping that in. We're gonna... Well,

28:45

thank you. But it really changed

28:47

my thoughts and things too. Yeah, no, it's so

28:49

interesting. I love that you brought up your husband

28:51

because I wanted to bring us

28:53

in this direction anyway. So you

28:55

have this incredible job where

28:57

you're working many hours and

29:00

oftentimes in many states. So

29:03

when we met a while ago,

29:05

you were telling me that your husband stays

29:07

home with the children and you're growing your

29:09

career in all these really, really

29:11

cool ways. And I think this

29:13

is another really interesting thing to talk about

29:15

when we talk about women in leadership. We

29:18

don't see this very often. We often see

29:20

the exact opposite. And I would

29:22

love to know a little bit about your

29:24

career path and what it's been

29:26

like growing in these really

29:28

incredible and impressive leadership roles

29:31

and having a partner whose way

29:33

of supporting you is being home with the

29:35

kid. Like that's his role in the family

29:37

and that's sadly counterculture

29:39

in many ways. And I'm

29:42

curious what that has felt like for you all and

29:44

anything else you wanna share about that experience. Yeah, I'd

29:46

love to share on that. I think growing up in

29:48

the way that I looked at that, which I've had

29:50

to change over time. And I think this is maybe,

29:52

I'm hopeful that a lot of other people have

29:55

the same experience where they look at their

29:57

childhood and maybe how they grew up in

29:59

either... or thought things would

30:01

work out the same or wanted

30:03

to completely change it. And for

30:05

me, I didn't have the example growing up where

30:08

people or where my parents didn't travel for work.

30:10

They were home every single night. My dad got

30:12

home at 4.30, which gave

30:14

him the flexibility and ability to

30:16

coach a lot of our teams. And my mom

30:18

worked in the home and was always there. She

30:21

was a room parent on the PTO and like

30:23

did all of these amazing things for us growing

30:25

up. And so for me, in

30:28

the roles that I'm in right now, I struggle

30:30

with the wants of having that same

30:33

like experience for my kids, but not

30:35

actually being able to do it in

30:38

the same capacity. And so my husband,

30:40

I guess has, he wanted to

30:42

do this. This was not even something necessarily

30:44

that we talked about knowing that I would

30:46

be in the position that I am. However,

30:48

he had a very lucrative career. He's done

30:51

a lot in his professional life. He started

30:53

his own business. He worked, he was

30:55

number 31 at a startup company. We

30:58

were able to move to Denver for him to

31:00

open an office for that company. And I was

31:02

luckily able to transfer with the company that I

31:04

was at the time. And he

31:07

took on a lot of different roles at that company and

31:09

moved into leadership and then moved back to

31:11

being an individual contributor when he realized that he

31:14

liked that component better and really missed

31:17

the camaraderie of being

31:19

in the team instead of supporting the

31:21

team. But for me, I've

31:23

always loved leadership and just wanting to

31:25

continue to grow and develop my career.

31:27

And so transparently, when the

31:30

pandemic hit, we would have

31:32

these conversations. And I was working at

31:34

Zoom actually at the time during the

31:36

pandemic, which was really rewarding

31:38

in a lot of ways. That's like a

31:40

whole other interview to be working at Zoom

31:43

during the pandemic. Go ahead. I

31:45

mean, I'm really grateful for just the opportunity at

31:47

Zoom overall. I worked there from 2016

31:49

to 2021. During

31:53

the pandemic, it was a very rewarding

31:55

and exciting time, but it was also

31:57

a really challenging time, just kind of seeing the

32:00

world panic in real time. And if you remember

32:02

back to the earlier part of this interview,

32:04

I don't necessarily always do really well with

32:06

unknown and not being able to control the

32:09

future. I'm a type A control freak. I've

32:11

come to accept that about myself instead of

32:13

wanting people to perceive me as being laid

32:15

back. And during the pandemic, he

32:18

just kept saying, like, I'd really

32:20

love to get to a point where maybe we

32:22

both don't have to grind it out anymore, or

32:24

maybe we can both work part time. And this

32:26

kept coming up quite a bit. And finally, one

32:28

night I just said to him, like, if you

32:30

want to work part time, or you

32:32

want to take a step back, or if you want to

32:34

do something different, I really support you in that. But for

32:37

me, what motivates me is I get a

32:39

lot of satisfaction out of working, I get a lot of

32:41

satisfaction out of growing my career

32:43

and feeling accomplished. And, and

32:45

then he said, you wouldn't resent me

32:47

if I did that. And I said, I would resent you

32:49

if you didn't do that, because you

32:51

would actually not be following like your dreams and

32:54

what's important to you. And so he left in

32:56

May of 2022. And he wanted to

32:58

stay at

33:00

home with the kids, he wanted to volunteer more at their

33:02

school, he really wanted to take a more active role in

33:05

their lives. And they're at a point now where they were

33:07

going to school more full time, and they weren't so

33:10

young anymore that we needed or wanted to have

33:12

a nanny. And so he took some time to

33:14

do that. And he also started an almond farm

33:16

on his parents land or his father's land that

33:18

he had wanted to do for so long. And

33:20

I was really grateful to

33:22

be able to support him in that. But he also

33:24

was really supportive in me in terms of climbing

33:27

the corporate ladder and not thinking that I

33:29

have to be home every single night or

33:32

be on the PTO or PTA or or whatnot.

33:34

And he really wanted to take the role of

33:37

like coaching my our kids teams and,

33:39

you know, volunteering more at

33:41

their schools. And while I would love to do

33:43

those things, it doesn't fit

33:46

in the way that my life is structured right now.

33:48

I'm not going to say that it may never fit,

33:51

or that I may never want to do

33:53

that 100%. But right now, it just doesn't

33:55

align. And so I'm grateful for the support

33:57

that he's given me to fulfill my dreams,

34:00

but also I do feel like I've supported

34:02

him in that way as well.

34:04

We kind of are a good balance and a good

34:06

team and he always says that we each have our

34:08

own strengths and I think that has allowed me to

34:10

continue to like lean into more of those strengths or

34:13

areas that I'd like to develop and has allowed him

34:15

to do the same. I

34:17

love how this is so values aligned that like the

34:19

two of you are kind of coming at this into

34:22

this conversation and decision making process with like

34:24

here's what's important to me right now, here's what's important to me

34:26

right now, what's important to us collectively and then

34:28

making decisions from that standpoint and then it

34:30

feels like everyone gets to win and that's

34:32

not to say that that always happens every

34:35

time we bring our needs to the table,

34:38

but I love that how you were able to

34:40

navigate that so that it felt like you both

34:42

got what you wanted, what you needed for this season.

34:45

If you're a parent, I invite you

34:47

to join us at the Mindful Mama

34:50

podcast where it's all about becoming

34:52

a less irritable, more joyful parent with

34:54

sometimes hilarious and always thought provoking

34:56

experts and friends. At Mindful

34:58

Mama, we know that you cannot give what you

35:00

do not have and when you have

35:02

calm and peace within, then you can give it to

35:04

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35:07

and I can't wait to see you there. Listen

35:09

in to the Mindful Mama podcast. I'm

35:16

Margaret and I'm Amy and together we

35:18

host the podcast, What Fresh Hell, laughing in

35:20

the face of motherhood. Margaret, I would say

35:22

you're sort of a where are my keys

35:24

kind of mom. Correct. Sometimes the where are

35:26

my kids kind of mom. While

35:28

you're Amy, more of a we were supposed

35:30

to leave 35 seconds ago, mom, I mean,

35:32

touche. And each episode of What

35:35

Fresh Hell, we come at a topic from

35:37

our usually completely opposite perspectives. I

35:39

bring the research and I bring kind

35:41

of the gimlet eye. Like is that

35:43

research really going to work people? And almost

35:45

10 million downloads later, we're still laughing.

35:48

We also talk to experts in the

35:50

parenting field plus parents with stories we

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can all learn from. We

35:54

challenge each other, laugh, we challenge each other's assumptions

35:56

and we have what we think is the best

35:59

parenting community on the earth. the internet, check out

36:01

what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood

36:03

wherever you listen to podcasts.

36:10

I also love your

36:12

openness around sure,

36:14

I would love to be more involved at school and those

36:16

kinds of things, but that's just not it's and I like

36:18

to say that's not my yes right now. Like that's not

36:20

the thing that you're choosing to say yes to right now.

36:22

Because you're saying yes to other things. And one of the

36:24

things I wanted to make sure we had a chance to

36:26

dig into is building your

36:29

leadership brand. And I think

36:31

we one of the things I want to

36:33

be talking with women leaders about more and more is

36:36

how we conscientiously and really

36:38

intentionally build our own leadership brands. And

36:40

I think sometimes we're so busy getting through the day

36:43

to day and we're like crossing things off of our

36:45

box in checking boxes getting things done. And

36:47

we're being of service to others to make sure that

36:49

they're seeing that we're doing the things that we can

36:52

do to rise to the next level. That we're not

36:54

being really conscientious around what am

36:56

I building? Why am I building it? How am I

36:58

intentionally showing up? And one of the things that I've

37:01

noticed in the few instances that we've gotten to spend

37:03

time together is that you are whether

37:06

or not you know it, you are definitely building

37:08

a leadership brand. And you're showing up in really

37:10

intentional ways. And I noticed that when we had

37:12

our first conversation when we did the pre meeting

37:14

for the event where we shared the stage, I

37:16

noticed it when we were on stage that day,

37:18

I noticed it in things that you said before

37:20

we hit record today, and things you said in

37:22

this conversation that there's just ways that you show

37:25

up and that you're building out your roles and

37:27

leadership in really specific ways. And

37:29

I would love to know how conscious

37:31

or unconscious that has been. And

37:33

then also what, where you see that going

37:35

like what you want that to look like moving forward. Well,

37:38

thank you for that. I love that you

37:40

recognize some of that. I'm also curious what

37:42

you recognize because I think some of it

37:45

does feel very unconscious in some ways. And

37:47

I'm always curious to see. I'll let

37:49

you finish and then I'll tell you. I hear from other perspectives and

37:51

I'm not trying to put you on the spot. You

37:53

don't have to know, but I think it's something that

37:55

I'm always trying to develop, honestly. And I think for

37:57

me, I've always taken more of a

37:59

leadership. Approach ever. Since I was a

38:01

young kid I mean this comes out a I

38:04

can remember times when I always wanted to be

38:06

the mom playing how they always wanted to be

38:08

the teacher wants a school. I always wanted to

38:10

be like a boss growing up and. Know. That

38:12

I've heard many things that said like the

38:14

odds are fatter. His boss the I tell him

38:16

they have leadership key with whatever I guess they

38:19

wanted to be about like I didn't know any

38:21

other term for that as it's always wanted to

38:23

be and leaders have been for me. That says

38:25

whether it's leading, a team that accompany her leading

38:27

and some other way like it's of, I think

38:29

it comes naturally to me. I don't assume love

38:32

to be the center of attention, but I do

38:34

like to be more and I do like to

38:36

be in that take charge type of rope and

38:38

I think there are nuances. There are so. I

38:41

think for me how I try to

38:43

consciously so up and how to be

38:46

and sentinel around my leadership is as

38:48

this has been in leader sales Leaders

38:50

at now for about twelve years. Me

38:52

to twelve or thirteen years don't do

38:54

any mouth on that night or even

38:56

when I was an engineer right out

38:58

of like college I was given like

39:01

pretty good amount of responsibility frequently. So

39:03

even when I. Was

39:05

leading to the men. When as

39:07

an engineer, candidly like that were. Forty

39:09

years older than me, and. Some instances like

39:11

I tried to approach leadership from have a

39:13

place of i curiosity like I always want

39:15

to learn I always wanna see how I

39:18

can help and so up as as a

39:20

leader that try to remove obstacles or barriers

39:22

vs like adding more to their plates. Maybe

39:25

some of my current team as is rolling. Their

39:27

eyes. I don't know if I always do

39:29

the best other that that that is usually

39:31

my intention. I think the second thing that

39:33

really shifted for me many years ago that

39:36

I think was on maybe with some leaders

39:38

especially female leader struggle with as. And

39:40

another was a goal or, but

39:42

when I sifted my desire, I

39:45

guess from being liked to be

39:47

respected, a really changed the way

39:49

that I. The more senior that

39:51

you get, the more difficult decisions that you

39:53

have to make them, more people that you

39:55

have to make decisions for or on behalf

39:57

of. And the more people ultimately. protest

40:00

that you're going to disappoint or that you're not

40:02

going to be able to make everyone happy.

40:04

And I think when I first moved into leadership

40:06

in a very traditional sales leadership

40:08

role, I went from being a peer to

40:10

being a leader of a team and that

40:12

was challenging. Like I really wanted to be

40:15

friends with everyone and I really wanted to

40:17

maintain that close relationship but it

40:19

was really difficult for me to balance the both. Or

40:21

I took the swing too hard the other way and

40:23

like really tried to be too professional and

40:26

didn't really allow myself to get to know my

40:28

team on a more human or personal level. And

40:31

so for me I try to balance both.

40:33

I really want to get to know my

40:35

team in a very true authentic transparent way

40:37

without crossing the line of being too personal.

40:39

I try to be more vulnerable and personal

40:41

myself so that like that allows them or

40:43

I hope it allows them to be able

40:45

to trust me. And so I share things

40:48

that I feel comfortable sharing that I've gotten to a

40:50

place where I can be my

40:52

true authentic self similar to what we

40:54

talked about earlier in the podcast around

40:56

my struggles around my eating disorder or

40:58

just other challenges around my mental health

41:00

journey around with anxiety or ADHD or

41:02

being a type A perfectionist or whatever

41:04

that looks like. But for me when

41:06

I shift really made that mindset shift

41:08

from being liked to being

41:10

respected, those things can also

41:13

both be true but it also opens

41:15

the door for integrity. And

41:17

I think with being

41:19

in a leadership role, I try to do

41:21

everything with integrity and sometimes

41:24

it leads to a decision that not everyone

41:27

will like or that not everyone benefits

41:29

from. But if I have that

41:31

foundation of trust and respect, I hope that they

41:33

can understand that sometimes those

41:36

decisions are things that either had

41:38

to be made for the business or had to be made

41:40

for the greater good of the team or

41:42

the greater good of whatever it is. And

41:45

I think that's just where I've really

41:47

been able to ground myself from a

41:49

leadership perspective around that respect component more

41:51

so than the likability

41:54

component because I know

41:56

that I'm not for everyone and I've had to

41:58

come to terms with that. I

42:00

know that I don't personally. Like everyone

42:02

that I interact with an M daily

42:04

as a my daily life either. It's

42:06

yeah, that's okay, but. I. Think

42:08

some respects the employee I tried. I like to

42:10

have. Integrity and respect interest up

42:12

at the foundation of what I do. Love

42:15

other so much I'm literally what I've seen

42:17

over time to scan like reinforce your leaders

42:19

are brown to follow be fun but I

42:21

also really quickly I don't know how we

42:23

will you are I've had my bra for

42:25

any role I like the I like out

42:27

of to okay have you hide your votes

42:29

are read I I don't six I think

42:31

as I looked at it on an app

42:33

in terms of like my sentiments as that

42:35

were years I don't like the last December

42:37

I in my bed time I guess. I

42:40

have this done. I've had it done twice. I

42:42

had it done in Sedona was by someone who

42:44

a psychic who I. Was. A

42:46

very strange experience. I was like Menopause rail

42:49

and then I had it done by someone

42:51

who I really trusted, who professional organization, the

42:53

where we were both and and it totally

42:55

lined up with a woman in Sedona. Sounds

42:57

like okay like that was all the jets

43:00

but what they both said was you can't

43:02

not be a leader. It is like so

43:04

strong and everything that we're seeing here that

43:06

you have to beat like it's just a

43:09

new, it's part of your dna. it's who

43:11

you are And it was so helpful for

43:13

me to hear that because before I had

43:15

heard that. With such clarity I sometimes felt like

43:17

me didn't been too much medium been to ladder to

43:20

give too much space. or maybe this is what people

43:22

want and then my was like owner. This is who

43:24

you were born to be, but crews have a lotta

43:26

responsibility if I want to do it in a

43:28

way where I'm like you know, seen in integrity and

43:30

been discerning and also became space for other people. Yeah,

43:33

but it helped me see that. At. This

43:35

is where I need to be and I can't. I don't

43:37

want to, nor should I try to fight that. Yeah,

43:39

I love that. I think it's just it's on the

43:42

best. Like being. Accepting of who

43:44

you are a lot if someone else

43:46

and and I've tried it. Again

43:48

been something of myself and is realizing that I'm

43:50

not really that like laid back person. I have

43:52

a job with my husband that I'm not really

43:55

tie they have how a type a minus and.

43:58

what does that even me and i'm like I love it. I'm

44:01

kind of laid back and he's like, oh, then you are like

44:03

type A plus. Like I'm like, you know, so we can say

44:05

I'm type A plus. Yeah. And

44:08

I think like just leaning into that though, like

44:10

what they were talking about from a leadership perspective,

44:12

I think just it brings out more authenticity that

44:14

will really connect with the people that are

44:17

meant for you. And so I like that.

44:19

I love that you did that. And I

44:21

would love that person's name because I'm now I'm

44:23

curious. Oh, I will. It's Leslie Tagorda. I

44:26

can set you up. She was a guest

44:28

on the show a while ago now, but

44:30

she's phenomenal. So I want

44:32

to point out what I've seen because these are

44:34

the things I think that will be helpful for

44:36

our audience to pay attention to as well. There's

44:38

when I'm talking to leaders and when I'm noticing

44:40

how people interact with people, whether it's in our

44:43

interpersonal relationships or like I noticed us with like

44:45

school moms as much as I do when I'm

44:47

going into a corporate environment. It's words

44:49

that people use in certain ways is what

44:51

I notice. And then it's also how

44:53

people make space for

44:56

others that back up then backs

44:58

up their words. And

45:00

so I noticed your openness, your

45:02

transparency and your vulnerability, but that

45:04

wasn't just like random vulnerability in

45:07

conversation. You are really forthcoming and saying it's

45:09

important to me to be vulnerable. So here

45:11

I now I'm going to be vulnerable. Like

45:13

you're using that language as you're moving into in

45:15

and out of those moments of vulnerability. Also,

45:19

you mentioned and I noticed this in your behaviors

45:21

when we got to show the stage that you

45:23

are a deep observer

45:25

and a learner that you love learning. And so

45:27

when someone's invested in learning and eager to learn

45:30

more, then it keeps us open to other people

45:32

and it keeps us in that curious phase, which

45:34

is another word that you've used today. So it

45:36

keeps us in that curious phase. And I think

45:38

curiosity and compassion are like the two

45:41

of the cornerstones of leadership, because if you can

45:43

be curious and continue to learn about people and

45:45

why people are doing certain things or why someone

45:47

might be making a decision one way versus another

45:50

or how people might be interacting in

45:52

different ways for certain reasons, like that is always

45:54

going to lead you to seeing more things and

45:56

then being able to support people in different ways.

46:00

And then something else that

46:02

you shared was around appreciating

46:05

people's differences and different experiences. And I think

46:07

that all of those pieces, like all it

46:09

takes for me to pick off on someone's

46:11

leadership and their leadership brand is like drop

46:13

in a few words, but then backing it

46:15

up with a few actions. And I think

46:17

that when we, as we're all aspiring to

46:19

be leaders in whatever area of our life

46:21

we're trying to lead in, whether

46:23

we're doing this in our household management or when

46:25

we're doing it in the workplace or in our

46:27

businesses that we're running, I think that paying attention

46:29

to those words that we're using and then really

46:32

thinking through how am I backing that up with

46:34

action and you're clearly doing that in both ways.

46:36

That doesn't mean you're doing it perfectly all the

46:38

time. You're doing it. I definitely am not doing

46:40

it perfectly every time all the time. I will

46:42

tell you that. So

46:44

with that, I want to ask you our final

46:46

question. I'm so sad this is over, by the way.

46:49

I'm so glad there were more questions in the first

46:51

time. I know. I want to, we'll have to

46:53

do a part two at some point. And

46:56

then we can get into mental health because I know we have

46:58

like a lot of things we want. Yeah, I would always love

47:00

to chat through that because I think reducing that stigma and

47:02

just again, letting people in to

47:05

like my journey in the hopes of helping

47:07

somebody else on their journey is always really

47:09

important for me. Absolutely. As

47:12

we get ready to wrap here, can you tell people how

47:14

you are currently showing up as a shameless mom? Oh,

47:16

gosh, this is, I'm going to try not to cry because

47:19

I feel like right now I'm not showing up in a

47:21

lot of ways as like a, I'm

47:24

feeling like a shameful mom, more so than a

47:26

shameless mom. But one of the ways, and I'll

47:28

kind of go back to like talking about the

47:30

weekend. For me, I really try to make intentional

47:32

time with my kids. That is, I'm

47:35

not doing anything else but spending time with

47:37

them. And we have like mommy daughter dates

47:39

or mommy son dates. And we do

47:41

things that are just really one on one. We

47:43

also do things that are just, you know, not

47:45

me on my phone, but we have family

47:48

movie night, for example, and my kids, they

47:50

call it that now. We have a tradition

47:52

where we make popcorn and put like M&Ms

47:54

on top or marshmallows or other

47:56

candy. I think they really eat it for the

47:58

candy, not the popcorn. It's

48:01

just our tradition. So when I am home and

48:03

not traveling and not working, I really try to

48:05

be present for a few hours every night where

48:07

I can. And I still don't do that perfectly.

48:10

But I think that's really what's important to me

48:12

showing up as a shameless mom right now. My

48:14

daughter and I love to do crafts together. And

48:16

so we have a craft that we're doing this

48:19

weekend that we're really excited about. I always joke

48:21

that I have the hobbies of an 80 year

48:23

old woman because I am, we do embroidery together.

48:25

And so we find up little like

48:27

embroidery projects that's online

48:30

and we're excited about it. And so that's

48:32

how I'm trying to show up is just to

48:34

be intentional with my time with my kids. And

48:36

I guess I mean, that goes into my time

48:38

with my husband too, but really around that being

48:40

that shameless mom and because I can't be there

48:42

every day for them at school or on the

48:44

pickup or drop off, I try to be with

48:46

them when I can on the weekends and after

48:48

work. I love it. So people

48:50

can go and connect with Allison. If you

48:53

go to shameless mom.com, click on the episode

48:55

with Allison Baber, you can click through to

48:57

her we'll have her LinkedIn linked up there,

48:59

LinkedIn linked up and people can click right

49:01

through and connect with you on LinkedIn. Alison,

49:04

thank you so much for being here. This

49:06

has been so incredible. I appreciate you and

49:08

I appreciate all the ways that you're modeling

49:11

leadership in so many different ways, but also

49:13

modeling shameless vulnerability and shameless curiosity and shameless

49:15

leadership at the same time. Thank you for

49:17

being here and come back anytime please. Oh

49:20

gosh, be careful what you wish for. I will be back and so

49:23

great. Really, really great.

49:26

Thank you for joining me in the shameless mom Academy

49:28

today. It is always a pleasure and a total honor

49:30

to be in your ear. Please make

49:33

sure you are subscribed to or

49:35

following this show on whatever podcast

49:37

platform you're using. This ensures that

49:39

you never miss an episode. You

49:41

can find everything related to the

49:43

shameless mom Academy at shameless mom.com

49:45

and you can inquire about my

49:47

speaking, consulting, and coaching services where

49:49

I help women leaders, small business

49:51

owners, and organizations build thought leadership

49:53

and communication confidence over at sarahdean.com.

49:55

That's sarah, no h s a

49:57

r a d e a n.com.

50:01

Until next time, know that I

50:03

appreciate you so, so much, my

50:05

friend. Feel

50:17

like you're the martyr in your family. You're

50:20

not alone. Hey, this is

50:22

Joanne. And Brie. And

50:25

we're from the No Guilt Mom podcast. Brie,

50:27

we talk to a lot of moms. Yeah,

50:29

we sure do. And if you're a mom

50:31

who has a to-do list that is so

50:34

massive that you get overwhelmed and you shut

50:36

down. Or if you've fallen into

50:38

the habit of doing everything for everyone and

50:40

don't know how to change it, we can

50:43

help you become a No Guilt Mom. We're

50:45

going to take you from family martyr to

50:47

family model. That's role

50:49

model. So that you role model the

50:51

behavior that you want to see out

50:53

of your kids. We're going to go

50:56

from being tired and overwhelmed to energized

50:58

and guilt free. Every week you'll get

51:00

actionable strategies that you can implement right

51:02

away from the experts that we interview

51:04

and from us. We also have a

51:06

whole lot of fun. So check out

51:08

the No Guilt Mom podcast everywhere you

51:10

listen to your favorite shows.