0:18

Blue

0:18

as a violet, red as a rose. Buckle

0:21

up, bitch, it's the Social Dose. The

0:23

Social Dose is your go-to podcast for a

0:25

gorgeous dose of what's going on in the world of social

0:27

media. Brought to you now every Tuesday

0:29

and Thursday. Today is Tuesday, June

0:32

20th, and I'm Paris Nicholson, at Paris

0:34

Nicholson on socials. And I'm Michael

0:36

Judson-Berry, at MJudsonBerry

0:38

on socials. And now, let's get into

0:41

these headlines. Today, summer

0:44

is upon us. We get into

0:46

how the girlies are drinking, posting,

0:48

and

0:48

living this season, starting with

0:50

the viral sensation that's clearing our bowels

0:53

just in time for beach season, Panera

0:55

Lemonade.

0:56

Then, you've heard of hot girl

0:58

summer, sad girl summer, and even the cursed

1:00

white boy summer. But this year, get

1:02

out your cheeses and diseases, because

1:05

it's rat girl summer. And

1:08

finally, if your mom doesn't judge your summer

1:11

look, then TikTok surely will. We

1:13

tell you how the platform is reading users

1:15

to filth. Coming up.

1:16

All this breaking social media news and

1:18

more coming up next on The Social Dose.

1:22

I'm Paris.

1:25

And I'm Michael. And this is The

1:27

Social Dose. Let's get into

1:29

these headlines, shall we, Michaela? I

1:31

think we should. I like this accent. Can I be

1:33

him all this episode? Stop it at

1:36

once. I'm banning it for the rest of the episode.

1:38

Thank you for your service. Whoever this character

1:40

was, we don't need her. How has your Tim

1:42

Cook been coming, by the way? I'm

1:45

still working on my Tim Cook. I'm

1:47

very excited. Listeners, behind

1:49

the curtains here, we are filming

1:51

this episode a little bit ahead

1:53

of time. So if any celebrities die

1:56

between now and Juneteenth

1:58

and we don't talk about

1:58

it on this episode, that. That's why, okay?

2:01

So nobody die. But I did

2:03

send Michael a voice message that was like, hey, I'm

2:05

actually obsessed with the potential of your Tim Cook impression

2:07

and think you should master it and start doing Tim Cook videos

2:10

because I, for one, think that would be hilarious.

2:13

Thank you, Paris. I appreciate your confidence.

2:16

I have to get a good Tim Cook wig. And luckily I have

2:18

the outfit because we actually dress shockingly

2:20

similarly,

2:21

which is a little sad for

2:23

me. Luckily

2:25

I'm not wearing that today. We're gonna get into what I'm wearing

2:27

in a minute. So for the

2:30

folks, as this is a podcast and you can't actually

2:32

see me, I am wearing a

2:34

pink romper. It's a romper jack

2:37

if you remember those from roughly 2017 when

2:39

that was a summer trend. I bought a, it's

2:42

sort of Pepto Bismol pink with

2:44

a navy blue pocket. At the time I

2:46

thought it was so cool. The problem

2:48

is with this, if you even think about

2:50

perspiring,

2:51

it's just wet and you can see

2:53

it. And also I learned it's very difficult to

2:55

like, you have to unbutton everything to go to the bathroom. It's not

2:57

practical. One thing that I think might

2:59

be making a resurgence is, do you remember

3:02

the Four Locos summer? Remember that summer

3:04

where we all just blacked out in a can,

3:06

woke up with heart palpitations and several

3:09

people were killed. People died.

3:11

What? People died. You don't remember Four

3:13

Locos summer? What summer was that? Remember

3:15

I'm not cool Paris. I don't know these things. It

3:17

was, I wanna say it was like 2011. Oh,

3:20

okay. I wanna say. What

3:22

were you doing 2011? In 2011,

3:25

I was a struggling actor doing like

3:27

nine catering jobs. So I didn't have time to know what

3:29

was going on. I was passing drinking crab cakes.

3:32

Yeah. Oh, I love crab

3:34

cakes. Okay, well, we all in college

3:36

got wasted and then they had to change

3:38

the formula of Four Loco because it was actually killing

3:41

little white women across the nation.

3:43

What?

3:44

Yeah. It was like too much caffeine and

3:46

alcohol combined and it was just like giving people

3:48

heart

3:49

conditions. Oh my God.

3:51

At least one woman died. I know that for sure.

3:54

At least one woman. And then they changed the formula

3:56

and ruined it for everyone. It was a

3:58

great summer. It really was.

3:59

What? What? Yeah, you passed

4:02

out anywhere. Once that can took

4:04

hold of you, and the thing about Four Loko, it tasted like Satan's

4:06

cum, so nobody liked it. Oh no.

4:08

But after the third or fourth sip, you started to really

4:11

acquire a taste for Satan's cum. And

4:13

you're like, oh, you know what? This is actually really good, Satan.

4:15

Let me get a second one. And if you had two, you did

4:17

die.

4:19

That was a death sentence right there.

4:20

I am not sad that I missed this. Any

4:23

other summer trends that I missed, Paris, that I should

4:25

now be caught up on? We always have a good song

4:27

of the summer, and we're still

4:30

debating who song of the summer is gonna be this year, but

4:32

last year's song of the summer, remember Kate Bush

4:35

running up that hill. My vote for song of the

4:37

summer this year is Padam. I am

4:39

obsessed with that song. I know how you feel.

4:42

I love it. I love Kylie. So

4:44

much like the Romp Hymn summer, I'm so

4:46

excited to finally sort of maybe be

4:48

on trend. I don't know, we'll see. Wait, what are you saying you

4:50

know how I feel about Padam? What

4:52

are you, what was that implying? I thought you didn't like

4:55

it. We just jammed out with

4:57

our clams out to Padam, like last

4:59

week, D.Va. I know, but I thought somewhere in the recesses

5:01

of my brain, I thought you were like, it's overrated.

5:04

No, I think it's an incredible song. I'm so excited for

5:06

Kylie to be having this moment. But as

5:08

far as song of the summer goes, you do have to remember

5:11

it needs to transcend demographic, which

5:13

Padam very much is not. I

5:16

see. It is monoculture amongst

5:18

the gays, but the greater planet

5:21

is not vibing with it the same way that we are, which is

5:23

a shame. It really is. True song of

5:25

the summer has to transcend culture.

5:27

It has to be everywhere.

5:29

That's true. It needs to be like at barbecues in Alabama,

5:32

as well as circuit parties in New York. Exactly,

5:35

yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's a tough

5:37

thing to achieve. Remember that, wait, remember that one

5:39

summer where the song of the summer was

5:41

like, holy moly me

5:43

oh my, I love you my apple pie,

5:46

everybody's stupid and all gay,

5:49

or whatever that song was, with all the guitars and the like 40

5:51

of them. But yes, I

5:53

really liked that song. That

5:55

was a song of the summer that transcended genre.

5:58

Because what the hell was that like folk?

5:59

I don't know, but it was

6:02

really good. Oh

6:04

wow, yeah. So I was just really

6:06

trying to remember the rest of how that song went.

6:09

As soon as we're done recording, I'm going to look it up.

6:12

I'm pretty sure it's exactly how I sang it. That

6:14

I'm not with you. Yeah, something like

6:17

that. Home is wherever I'm with you.

6:21

And like three of them sounded

6:22

like swamp witches, which I actually liked. What's

6:26

a swamp witch?

6:29

Just like a witch lives in a swamp. What do you mean? Oh,

6:31

obviously. Okay, yes, of course. Sorry. Every

6:34

town has one. The ostracized

6:37

old hag that lives in the woods.

6:40

And then gives a child a potion when they run away from home. Michael,

6:42

grow up. Which

6:44

Grimm's fairy tale did you grow up in? Pennsylvania.

6:52

You didn't have a town crone. No, no. Well,

6:59

when I grow up, I'll be your town crone.

7:02

And with that, Besties, it's time to get into today's

7:04

stories.

7:08

Our top story. The warmer weather

7:11

and longer days have a growing number of girls' gays and

7:13

they's scurrying into the streets, nibbling

7:16

on little snacks and sneaking into places where

7:18

they might not belong. Forget the year

7:20

of the rat. It's the summer of the rat. Michael

7:23

Judson Barry explains this summer's hottest trend. Yes, I love

7:25

this trend. According

7:28

to at Lola Ocola, it is

7:31

rat girl summer. And thank goodness

7:33

we had her to... Oh, no, don't make that sound

7:36

Paris. Sorry. Don't.

7:39

That reminds me of the first time I ever went into a steam room and

7:41

I just walked right back out. Okay, so,

7:43

yes, it is officially rat girl summer, according

7:46

to at Lola Ocola. I love this

7:48

trend. I can't wait to jump on board. So, what is rat

7:50

girl summer, you may ask? Well, according

7:52

to Lola, it is scurrying in the streets, looking

7:57

for snacks, and getting into places where

7:59

we generally... do not belong. And apparently

8:01

everyone is on board with over 3.9 million hashtags

8:04

used. Wow. Thankfully also Lola

8:06

laid out the rules of Rock Girl Summer.

8:08

You have to go outside. She puts

8:10

this big emphasis in her followup

8:13

video. You have to go outside, you can get two

8:15

rot days, as she calls them, which is when you're in bed or

8:17

on the couch, but only two. You can't scurry from your couch,

8:20

as she puts it. Obviously. You

8:22

have to be nibbling on snacks. Starving

8:24

yourself this summer is out. You have to eat.

8:27

You have to nourish yourself so you can get into mischief.

8:29

And General Mayhem, kill the cringe.

8:32

Killing the cringe is necessary. Follow

8:35

your whimsy. Do not judge yourself, just

8:37

do. You think rats are judging yourself? They are not.

8:40

So absolutely follow your gut.

8:43

And that is the next one, which is no overthinking. Follow

8:45

your gut. Because your gut is usually

8:48

right. And as she puts it, if your gut is wrong, it's gonna

8:50

make for a great story after. To

8:52

summarize all of this, go outside, nibble

8:54

on snacks, kill your cringe, and do not overthink.

8:57

And have a great time. I think this is

8:59

the summer that we need. Yes,

9:01

I couldn't agree more.

9:02

I think we have to let a

9:04

lot of pretense fall to the side and just

9:06

focus on having a good time. And rats

9:09

are so good at that. Remember Pizza Rat?

9:11

Remember that rat that ran for mayor in New York City and

9:14

then won? What? I don't know. Ratatouille?

9:17

Yes, Ratatouille. That's the film, Ratatouille. At

9:20

first, I heard Rat Girl Summer, and I said, count me

9:22

out, you nasty rat-faced bitches. I won't be doing

9:25

whatever the hell that is. Because it just sounds

9:27

ugly, right? It doesn't, Rat

9:29

Girl Summer, no.

9:31

Timothee Chalamet has been doing that for years. Machine

9:33

Gun Kelly's been doing that for years. But

9:36

after hearing the full breakdown, I'm like, oh, this

9:39

very much this, yes. The only

9:41

thing I fear is that Rat Girl Summer

9:43

and smoking cigarettes

9:45

do sort of have some intrinsic

9:47

synergy there. We've been observing lately of

9:50

Jenna Ortega, Kylie

9:52

smoking cigs. Rat Girl Summer

9:54

could also be the resurgence of cigs

9:56

with these girls too. I mean,

9:59

have some fun.

9:59

but don't decimate your lungs while you're at it. Smoking

10:02

is back. Canada is bringing smoking back

10:04

in a huge way. No. I

10:07

loved the comment from at lowkey

10:09

underscore b who said, I've recently

10:11

discovered I love brie cheese. So

10:14

this fits. And

10:16

I just, it made me a little sad for lowkey

10:18

b because I was like, you only just discovered brie.

10:20

I love brie. I also loved another comment

10:23

from Kylie Overbay who said, my

10:25

kids will be gone for over a month. I'm

10:27

going to be absolutely feral.

10:29

Oh, which good

10:32

for you, Kylie. Have the best time.

10:34

Yes, bitch. Rat out. Rat out with

10:36

your twat out. Don't say that too loud. Target

10:38

will make it into a t-shirt and someone's going to

10:40

get up that. And then remove it from shelves. Immediately.

10:44

I am kind of thinking, is rat girl

10:46

summer just literally what straight white men do

10:48

all the time? They go outside,

10:50

they nibble on snacks. They have no sense

10:53

of cringe or overthinking.

10:55

They just do stuff without any care for the consequences.

10:59

Whoa. This summer, just live your life

11:01

like a straight white man and do whatever

11:03

the hell you want. Wow. Hopefully

11:06

enjoy the same privileges. Why

11:08

am I just imagining everyone walking around

11:10

in cargo shorts from American Eagle? Ew,

11:13

stop. No, I'm imagining it. We'll

11:16

get right back into the trending news after these quick

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ads.

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SOS, a new podcast from Bon

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amazing test kitchen to try and solve it.

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Because cooking for

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Miss Justin, fuck green

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juice. This summer, we're over

12:32

being healthy and caring about our bodies.

12:36

One fast casual bakery cafe chain

12:38

has answered our prayers. Panera

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Bread. This new viral charged

12:43

lemonade has TikTok users telling their loved

12:45

ones goodbye and their plumbers hello.

12:48

Yes, Paris, it should be noted that this

12:50

product is not new. But

12:52

TikTok is giving it a hot girl summer

12:54

renaissance as the girlies are discovering the insane

12:57

power held within just

12:58

one of these beverages. People

13:00

have been posting videos after they drink one of these

13:03

extremely caffeinated lemonades.

13:05

And the universal symptoms seem to be seeing

13:08

God and sweating out 60% of

13:10

your water weight. Like, people are drinking them

13:12

and then filming their physical reactions to

13:14

these drinks. Yeah, Michael, this is absolutely

13:17

insane. Our social scientists have put together

13:19

some data on the actual caffeine

13:21

and sugar content of these charged

13:24

lemonades. They come in three delicious

13:26

flavors, strawberry, lemon, mint, mango, yuzu, citrus,

13:28

and

13:28

Fuji apple cranberry. Each

13:30

of them having around 260 to 390 milligrams

13:33

of caffeine, which for reference, there

13:35

are 64 milligrams of caffeine in a shot

13:37

of espresso. So each cup of charged lemonade

13:40

is between four and six shots of espresso

13:43

in one beverage, which is an

13:45

insane amount of caffeine. I am somebody who

13:47

almost never drinks coffee and like I have one

13:49

and I'm like wired, but this

13:51

is, it feels lethal.

13:53

Oh, yeah, same. I have my one cup of coffee

13:56

in the morning and then just decaf for the rest of the day.

13:58

Cause I love coffee, but if I have more. caffeine

14:00

than that and I tip over and fall asleep. Like it spikes

14:02

and then drops. I like straight up fainting Godet. I'm

14:04

just like walking down the stairs, like derp, derp, derp, derp, boom. Also,

14:07

can we talk about the amount of sugar in this drink? Like

14:09

it's not just the caffeine, it's also the sugar

14:11

content. So each regular

14:13

sized charged lemonade has between 65 to 82

14:16

grams of sugar, Yuzu

14:19

being the highest. Just to again put this in perspective,

14:21

friends, there are 10 grams of sugar

14:23

in a Krispy Kreme donut. So

14:26

one regular mango Yuzu citrus lemonade

14:29

is like eating eight Krispy Kreme

14:31

donuts as well as having four

14:33

to six shots of espresso. So

14:36

to say you are wired, like

14:39

people are literally shooting through the roofs of their

14:41

buildings. It's

14:43

bananas. Yeah, one of the videos

14:45

I saw, it was basically a text

14:47

post trauma dump after this girl's experience. It

14:50

was from at Ty Baby and she

14:52

said, if you were thinking about buying

14:54

the Panera Bread charged lemonades, don't. I

14:56

thought I was built different and everyone was over exaggerating

14:59

the side effects. I was young and I was naive.

15:01

I chugged two cups. I went to sleep thinking

15:03

I would wake up dead. My heart was racing so

15:05

bad my chest ached. It felt like my lungs

15:07

were trying to tear out of my rib cage. I almost

15:09

booked myself into a hospital twice until I remembered

15:12

I'm American. And if this

15:13

lemonade didn't unalive me, that medical bill would.

15:15

Not to mention I woke up and had diarrhea so bad.

15:17

I begged God to just take me if it means the pain

15:20

will stop.

15:21

This harrowing testimony

15:24

is enough for me to never order this beverage, Michael.

15:26

What about you? I could not. Now

15:28

also as someone who has had to have a colonoscopy

15:31

and drink that juice where it does just like empty

15:33

your body. Ooh, it's

15:35

a deeply unpleasant experience although you are so

15:37

snatched after. I think GIs

15:40

should team up with Panera. Like

15:42

before people get a colonoscopy because this sounds easier

15:45

to drink than that horrible like gallon jug

15:47

of stuff. We here at The Social Dose are

15:49

nothing if not journalists. And

15:51

because we really wanted to find out firsthand

15:53

what this beverage was doing to the girlies, one

15:56

of our very brave social scientists,

15:58

Sunny, decided to take... this

16:00

test herself and put her body through what

16:02

she can only describe as a harrowing experience.

16:04

And she is here to share her survival story

16:07

today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

16:09

Sunny, our social scientist. Sunny,

16:11

hello.

16:12

Thank you guys. I really appreciate you

16:14

giving me the time to share the story. However, Paris,

16:17

it was not harrowing. I'm dramatizing.

16:20

We've worked with each other for a while now. And I think that

16:22

you can fairly say that I do run with the mentality

16:25

and energy of a squirrel. The energy is high, 24

16:27

seven. So I really, I

16:29

didn't think it was gonna be that bad. And

16:31

I was wrong because it was actually fucking

16:34

phenomenal. I feel like it changed

16:36

me for the better. I was off

16:39

the walls. It's not debilitating.

16:41

If you would have given me a pen and

16:43

a piece of paper, I could have finally passed math.

16:46

Like I do think that like, I really

16:49

could have

16:50

done it in that moment. It was

16:52

crazy. I've been drinking like coffee since I was like 12. So

16:54

like, I felt very confident. And

16:57

honestly, I feel like I could have done two. I

16:59

went to Target. I cleaned my room. I wrote

17:01

my

17:01

last will and testament. Did you actually?

17:04

Well, I always have one saved on my computer just to

17:06

be safe, but I- Sunny, you're like

17:08

not even 30. What? No,

17:10

what if something happens to

17:11

me? But be prepared. That's right, Paris.

17:13

Sunny, I appreciate this. If I had one

17:15

right now, maybe I would die because I just had

17:17

the espresso. If I wait an hour and a half, I will

17:20

live. I will live harder than I've

17:22

ever lived before.

17:24

Like I'm imagining you actually accomplished

17:26

none of this. You just sat there shaking and hallucinated

17:29

the entire thing. There was only one

17:31

witness and she saw me at the end. So it

17:33

could have all been, it could have all been up there in my

17:35

head. She saw you just come flying forward

17:37

with like debris around you. Well,

17:41

Sunny, thank you so much for coming on and sharing

17:43

your story. It sounds like an endorsement

17:45

at the end of the day. I would just caution all

17:47

the girls out there to, you

17:49

know, proceed at your own risk. Results

17:52

may vary as it turns out.

17:54

You may be the most hyper productive manic

17:57

day of your life or you might see God

17:59

and end up. in the ER. Have

18:01

fun! Good luck! Good

18:04

luck, divas!

18:05

Now to hear an ad from our sponsors, Panera

18:08

Bread. Just kidding, this episode is not sponsored by

18:10

Panera Bread, but it is sponsored by our

18:12

messages that are gonna play next.

18:15

That was so well put. If

18:21

you have a few minutes to spare, besties,

18:23

it would help us so much if you filled out a short

18:25

listener survey. It'll let us know more about our

18:27

demographic and our audience, which helps us to

18:29

sell ads that keep the podcast free.

18:32

I'm a big proponent of free things. I know

18:34

you are as well, Michael. That cardigan looks pretty free.

18:36

You can also share your opinions about the show.

18:39

Let us know what you think is working, what you want to

18:41

see more of. Please go to the socialdose.fans

18:44

to fill out the survey. Thank you so much, besties,

18:46

and happy scrolling. Happy scrolling.

18:49

You will fail. So what?

18:52

Everybody does. But your gym,

18:54

your watch, your yoga pants, they

18:57

pretend you won't. So when you miss

18:59

a day, eat the pancakes. Give

19:02

up on a workout?

19:03

You failed? Seriously,

19:06

what the hell? We're body. We've

19:09

been a part of that too, but not anymore.

19:12

At Body, we're rejecting perfection and

19:14

embracing reality. Not

19:16

in a Pizza Monday kind of way, in

19:18

a loving your whole life kind of way. In

19:21

a this workout is fun and it's okay

19:23

if I take a week off kind of way. In

19:26

an I'm eating healthy and it's

19:28

okay if I indulge kind of way. In a I

19:31

like myself no matter what kind of way.

19:33

Yeah,

19:33

you will fail. We

19:36

all will. But we're not going to let that be

19:38

the end. You see that? We're already

19:41

making progress. So let's keep going.

19:43

We are body. Start your free trial at

19:46

body.com. That's B O D

19:48

I dot com.

19:51

sitting

20:00

still and laughing at Sunny's experiences.

20:02

Michael, it's giving hyperhidrosis. You

20:04

should probably, you can like get that taken care

20:07

of. I am a sweater. I just looked, I saw

20:09

like the corner of my screen and I was like, when did I

20:11

get a giant vagina? Like a cure. Yeah,

20:13

that's not normal. There's a cure, it's Botox.

20:16

Oh really?

20:17

Yeah, you Botox the armpit and it like paralyzes your sweat

20:19

glands. So you don't have to deal with that anymore. Oh

20:21

wow. They figured this out years ago, Diva. Anyone

20:24

who has ever posted on TikTok knows that

20:26

you can add hashtags to your videos. But

20:28

recently, TikTok creators have been reporting

20:30

that the app is generating pre-made hashtags

20:33

that are low-key going for the jugular.

20:35

Right, Paris? That's right, Michael.

20:37

It's actually kind of insane. We expect reads

20:39

from our family and friends or even strangers on

20:42

TikTok, but from the app itself,

20:44

A2Brute. A2Brute.

20:46

A2Brute. A2Brute. A2Brute. A2Brute.

20:50

A2Brute.

20:51

A2Brute. Is that how you say that famous Shakespearean line

20:53

or Caesar? Well done. A2Brute.

20:56

A2Brute. It's from Julius Caesar. Which

20:58

was written by Shakespeare or no?

21:00

It was written by Shakespeare, yeah. Dude, you're so smart.

21:02

Thanks. Okay, but y'all,

21:04

no, actually the trend. So people have been posting videos

21:07

of these suggested hashtags

21:09

when you look at a draft video that you're gonna post and

21:11

TikToks, like these are the hashtags we recommend based

21:13

on the algorithm. And some of them are actually

21:16

wild. So the first one I saw was from user

21:18

at recklesslyliving. And

21:21

this is just a

21:23

regular person, we'll

21:25

say. And the hashtags

21:28

given to them were tomboy,

21:30

emogirlvibes, indikid,

21:33

LGBTQ trend, which if

21:35

you look at this person, you don't know anything about them, I

21:37

can see why the algorithm might suspect that.

21:40

Then they get even more specific and it's like hashtag

21:42

alt, hashtag emoboy, hashtag maskgirl,

21:45

hashtag TikTok LGBT. And

21:48

she says in the video, like at no point do I ever

21:50

talk about being LGBT. So like, where is TikTok

21:52

getting that from? I honestly think TikTok

21:54

is just like, oh, this is a femme person with a short haircut,

21:57

must be queer, which is I think

21:59

homophobic.

21:59

Oh, not only that, but they're also

22:02

assuming that they're British. The other

22:04

one that was like hashtag British short hair, which

22:06

that's a hashtag. It's insane

22:09

for TikTok to like be so bold to like,

22:11

I think specifically with the demographic stuff. You know

22:13

what I mean? Yeah. If it's like content

22:15

related, if it's like story time or like hashtag dance

22:18

trend, like that's fine. But when it's like hashtag,

22:21

you look like a gay bitch, like that's

22:23

a little too far. Do you see the one from at

22:26

Maria FV41?

22:28

Oh my God. Yes. It was so mean. They

22:30

offered hashtag black

22:33

girl tragic. Hashtag.

22:35

That's racist. Nose, it straight up is.

22:38

Hashtag nose is too big.

22:41

Oh my God. Hashtag timeline

22:44

break. These were not

22:46

nice. Hashtag looking goofy. Hashtag what the

22:49

hell. Hashtag might delete

22:51

later. What are you doing TikTok?

22:53

This is grounds for cancellation. Yeah. Cause some of

22:55

those are super not okay. It's

22:57

probably not. To be recommending it is. And

23:00

also weirdly not everybody can

23:02

do this. So I tried to do this to

23:05

see, I was so curious after this. I was like, what are they

23:07

going to say about me? They're going to be

23:09

like big eyebrows, terrible voices. Like

23:11

what horrible things does TikTok have to say

23:13

about me? And literally nothing. I

23:15

couldn't do it. I was so sad that I did not have

23:17

that feature on my page. Weirdly I was

23:20

really drawn to hear terrible things about myself.

23:22

I think this is kind of a human thing too. I

23:24

think we all, it's like the red flag trend.

23:27

Where we're like, okay, tell me what's wrong with

23:29

me. It's like when celebrities read mean tweets.

23:32

It's fun. It's fun. Until

23:34

it's mean. Until it genuinely hurts

23:36

your feelings. Which that's what at

23:39

Maria at V41, it looks like

23:41

she's playing along, but there was a couple where you could see her

23:43

be like, ouch, like ow.

23:45

Yeah, big face trend. I would

23:48

definitely be hit with that one. I have a huge face.

23:51

Like a lot of hashtags do you think TikTok would slander

23:54

you with? I think they'd be like,

23:56

bad impression, needs new wigs.

24:00

Big eyebrows. Dry wig.

24:02

Annunciate better. Hashtag

24:05

sweats too much. Apparently.

24:07

Hashtag owned a romper. I don't know. Imagine

24:10

you never mentioned sweating and then it just

24:12

suggests like hashtag hyperhidrosis. Yes. How

24:14

about you? What do you think it would have to say about you?

24:18

Honestly, when I was thinking about this, I was like, honestly, some of

24:20

my hashtags are kind of mean.

24:22

Like I'll always use like hashtag stupid gay bitch

24:24

or like dumb white gay. Just

24:27

get back to you, they do nice ones. They're like hashtag

24:29

tall and elegant. Hashtag well informed.

24:31

Hashtag. Oh please. It's really articulate.

24:33

No, it'll be like hashtag hairline surgery. Hashtag

24:36

forehead. Hashtag

24:38

old twink. Well,

24:40

some people have been commenting with the ones they've been getting and

24:43

they're like that. They're so fun. The one

24:45

from at Abigail with a Y, which

24:47

I love when people spell gay like that. She said,

24:49

I got hashtag lesbian lovers on

24:52

a draft I made with my mom. I

24:54

bet her mom must have had a short above

24:56

the shoulder haircut. Apparently

24:59

so. She's like, that's a

25:01

lesbian. That's not a mom. That's

25:03

a lesbian if I ever saw one. What about the one

25:05

that I suppose it sounds like you can relate to then?

25:08

That was I got hashtag big

25:10

forehead.

25:11

Yeah, that'd be me. Somebody else

25:13

commented,

25:14

can't forget hashtag regret getting bangs.

25:18

Not TikTok telling you that your haircut's bad.

25:21

Yeah, like, sorry about the bangs

25:23

bitch. Did you see the other one that said, I got

25:26

hashtag mouth breather face and

25:28

hashtag my teeth are so yellow.

25:30

Not even hashtag my teeth are yellow. My

25:33

teeth are so yellow.

25:34

That's sad. I hate that

25:37

actually. That just feels like it's no longer

25:39

TikTok. It's just your average dental hygienist

25:41

saying hello. You know, like when you go to the

25:43

dentist and every dental hygienist is never

25:45

like,

25:46

they're always disappointed

25:48

in you. No matter how much you flossed, they're

25:50

like, you can floss more. You know? Wow.

25:53

Really? Yeah. Are they mean to

25:55

you at your dentist? No, I

25:58

actually love my dentist. I'm obsessed with her.

25:59

we've gotten facials together and her hygienists.

26:02

They're both awesome. But I

26:04

know, right? They're really fun.

26:06

Anyway, shout out to Dr. Lauren Becker. Laura,

26:09

sorry. Let us know.

26:10

Wait, also, Michael, stop naming your

26:12

doctors by first and last name on

26:14

the podcast. This is the second time

26:16

you've done it. You did it with your therapist too. But

26:18

I love Dr. Becker. She's a great

26:20

dentist. Okay, sorry. Now people

26:23

can find you and stalk you and like, I don't know,

26:25

have a meet cute at your dentist's office that was completely

26:28

fabricated beforehand. Why don't you have seen the show

26:30

You?

26:31

Well, that's how you know you've made it when stalkers come

26:33

to your dentist. Circling back,

26:36

did you see the suggested

26:38

hashtags for the poor woman who was not pregnant, but they

26:40

assumed she was? She got hashtag

26:42

teen pregnancy, hashtag baby bump

26:44

showing. And then she

26:47

said, she's not pregnant. So TikTok has

26:49

just become the rudest person on the

26:51

sidewalk being like, oh my God, are you okay?

26:53

You look tired. Is

26:55

everything all right? I hate to tell a mom's

26:57

story, but my mom, she just retired and she was

27:00

working with like, she's teaching little kids how to read

27:02

after school. And the seven year old looked at her and went,

27:04

what's wrong with your face? No.

27:07

And she was like, nope, that's just how skinny old white ladies

27:09

age. And the girl goes, oh no, you must

27:11

be really old. No. It's

27:14

just like nothing like a kid to just bring you right back

27:16

down to earth or TikTok.

27:19

Michael, one time I distinctly remember my grandma

27:21

took me to see a bug's life. And while we were waiting to

27:23

get popcorn, she like bent down to like get close

27:25

to me. And I was like, grandma, why do you have those holes

27:27

on your face? And it was just like her pores. And

27:30

I like in the moment she like handled it like a normal grandma

27:32

would and it was like fine, but like I've never forgotten

27:34

that. And I believe I am now cursed with my grandma's

27:37

enormous pores because of that unintentional

27:39

read I delivered when I was five. So really

27:41

we need a TV show called TikTok says the

27:43

darndest things. It's the new version. TikTok's

27:46

wiling out with its little bitch ass. That's

27:49

the

27:49

show. Actually besties, if you

27:51

can get this draft suggested

27:53

hashtags thing to work, please let us know because only

27:56

some people can. Let us know what your hateful

27:58

homophobic racist hashtags.

27:59

Yes. At the socialdosepodcast.com

28:02

is where you'll do that. Yes, that's where you will.

28:05

Okay, well that's all the time we have today. Thank

28:07

you so much for joining us. Yeah, don't

28:09

forget to catch up with us on our socials. Leave

28:11

us comments, leave us messages, or go

28:13

to the socialdosepodcast.com to leave us a message or

28:16

voice memo and we might just play it on

28:18

the show. Now with that being said, I have

28:21

to scurry. They are crowning me

28:23

rat king of rat girl summer. And

28:26

I really have to clean my apartment and I have a lot

28:28

of work to do. So I'm gonna

28:29

take a leaf out of Sunny's book, try

28:32

one of these Panera Charge lemonades, and see

28:34

if I too become a whirling dervish of

28:36

productivity. Happy scrolling. Happy

28:39

scrolling, besties. We are now accepting applications

28:41

for podcast co-host. Ha ha

28:43

ha ha.

28:44

Cause Michael's gonna die.

28:46

Ha ha ha ha. The

28:49

Social Dose is a Sony Music Entertainment production.

28:51

The EPs are Sarita Wesley and Jasmine Henley

28:54

Brown. Daniel Jones Wesley is senior producer,

28:56

Chelsea Jacobson is producer, and Sunny Balkin is

28:58

associate producer. This show is engineered by Gulliver

29:00

Lawrence Tickle and John Scott. Music by

29:02

Dom Jones.