A cultist and his new trainee have no idea they are about to deliver a blow-by-blow commentary for the greatest rag-tag-team bout the wasteland formerly known as New York has ever seen!
 
TEAM #1- The Octogenarian Arachnids- Members 1
Samantha Gerkin:
Age- 82
Height- Various
Weight- About 500 lbs give or take the mass of a half devoured feline.
Special skills: Poison darts, toxic webs, serrated claws.
Weaknesses: New Age self help books.

Challenging Samantha for supreme dominance of the Stewies Convenience Store on Rt. 9 (Conveniently located just 30 mile South of Albany, NY) are:
 
TEAM #2- Trixie’s Servants- Members- 5

Rachel Eddleman:
Age- Refused to answer
Weight- Offered useless anecdotal story
Height- “tall” when not wearing flats.

Special skills: Fast improvisation skills. Wields a solid steel instrument of blunt force trauma.
Weakness: Irrational fear a frog may emerge from the toilet.

Elenore Stammer:
Age- 83
Height- “Oh, I don’t know”
Weight- “I used to turn heads I can tell you.”
Special Skills: Boundless trivial knowledge & umbrella mastery.
Weakness: Boundless trivial knowledge.

Deputy Jerry Wilkins:
Age- 38
Height 6’ 2”
Weight: 175 lbs.
Special Skills: Crack Shot.
Weakness: Lost his gun. Also, he’s been poisoned.

Adam Kaminsky:
Age- 40
Height- 5’ 9”
Weight- “Go to hell”
Special Skills: Designing ad campaigns & Running from danger
Weakness: Need to constantly complain.

Trixe T. Katz:
Age- 7
Height- 1’ 6”
Weight- 11 lbs.
Special Skills- Night vision, sharp claws, amazing sense of smell, superior agility.
Weakness: The need to sit in or on sunbeams, empty boxes, or laptops.

The prize? A magic rock/bone/artifact thing! Also a prize: Survival!

Team #2 has the numbers but Team #1 has guts! Lots of guts. The guts of many brutally murdered victims.

This episode: SOMEBODY DIES!!!!

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