Feeling lonely? Don't quite fit in? Well, no need to fear. You'll find comfort in knowing there is a place for all of us: a six-foot-deep cavern for you to cozy on into for all of eternity.

Welcome back, creeps! Fall is upon us and in celebration, I am bringing you a creepy tale from beyond the grave. This month's feast follows the life, death and reincarnation of a young girl, Anastasia. I hope that you will join us for tonight's meal.