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1:00

Hi,

1:02

Adventure Coutiers!

1:07

It's me, Mark

1:09

Gagliardi, your favorite WorkJuice

1:11

player. It was a real treat

1:14

seeing so many of you at our live show,

1:16

and we hope you're enjoying these podcast episodes,

1:19

which came from that really fun show.

1:21

We especially love that so many of you joined

1:24

us for the pre-show and post-show

1:26

games and fun-arounds. Now, if

1:28

you missed out on those or you want to watch them again,

1:30

we've got great news for you. That video

1:32

content is available exclusively

1:35

on our Patreon. Go to patreon.com

1:38

slash thrillingadventurehour and become

1:40

a supporter. You'll be able to see the very fun

1:42

trivia game in which Paget, Annie,

1:44

Craig, and I showed exactly how deep our

1:46

thrilling knowledge does not run.

1:49

And soon you'll be able to watch the reverse

1:51

Q&A in which we ask questions

1:54

of each other and of you, the audience.

1:56

Our Patreon is full of fun, exclusive

1:59

content.

1:59

You'll have access to our complete podcast catalog,

2:02

which isn't available anywhere else, as

2:04

well as bonus podcast episodes

2:06

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2:08

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2:11

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2:14

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support that the show continues to exist

2:21

at all. So, go to patreon.com

2:23

slash thrillingadventurehour to pledge only $5 per

2:26

month to access everything that

2:28

the Work Juice Corporation has to offer.

2:31

Clink. Have

2:35

our spooky summer stories send

2:37

shivers down your spine. Perhaps

2:39

we should deactivate the air conditioning,

2:42

or perhaps another dose of mysterious

2:44

suspense will get your blood boiling.

2:49

Join Frank and Sadie Doyle once

2:51

again in tonight's final dark episode,

2:54

Final Destination Wedding.

2:58

Our story begins at a distillery in Bucolic,

3:00

Colorado, where Frank and Sadie attend

3:03

the nuptials of a dear friend.

3:13

Is anything greater than a celebration

3:16

of love,

3:16

darling? A celebration of

3:18

same without leaving our home? I

3:21

know travel disagrees with you, Frank.

3:24

We don't just disagree, Sadie. Our differences

3:26

are irreconcilable. But

3:28

think of the perks of this destination

3:31

wedding, from the mountain air to

3:33

the open bar. Is

3:35

that a toast or a command? Just

3:37

a toast until after the ceremony.

3:45

Flasks would be another strike against, but

3:47

for their contents. Look

3:50

how handsome our friend Mitch looks.

3:53

Hmm. Which

3:55

one is Mitch again? The tuxedo

3:58

gentleman at the end of the aisle. whom

4:00

the bride is aimed. Ah, bitch!

4:03

A smoky fellow. Sweet

4:05

but smooth with a buttery finish.

4:07

You're confusing Mitch with the whiskey

4:10

he distilled. Ah, but

4:11

I'm not confusing his whiskey with the reason I

4:13

like him so much. I

4:17

just break into the bowls. I

4:27

pledge to you, my heart forever,

4:30

for as long as we both shall end.

4:34

Vanessa,

4:35

I pledge to you

4:38

that I'm not into this.

4:41

I thought I was, but I wasn't.

4:44

No hard feelings. Oh, no. Oh,

4:46

no. That's bad. That's

4:48

bad. That's going to be a hard feeling. Wait,

4:51

no, not that. I don't know what just

4:53

came over me. Into me, out

4:55

of me. I... Can you just think it's not

4:57

that bad? Not that bad. I don't know. I

5:00

tried. And here I thought we'd just have a nice

5:02

visit to a destination distillery without any

5:05

supernatural nonsense.

5:06

Starting sub is on the line, so we

5:08

must spring to action. Very

5:10

well. Though tell love, I'll need a moment

5:12

while I drink me spinach. Everyone,

5:19

please keep your seat. This will

5:21

hopefully take just a moment. It's hardly unusual.

5:23

It will. I don't know why. Colorado

5:26

wedding. Oh, Frank, Sadie, I'm so glad

5:28

you're here.

5:28

Me too, apparently. Mitch has

5:31

been telling me about you and

5:33

your area of expertise.

5:35

We've been talking about it more and more the closer

5:37

we get to the big day. Things have been kerfluey

5:40

since we started planning this wedding.

5:42

What's been amiss about

5:44

the wedding planning, Mitch?

5:45

You mean kerfluey?

5:47

I mean amiss. Well,

5:51

not to be a groom-kong, but when

5:53

the words on the invitation started bleeding,

5:56

I nearly canceled everything.

5:58

The cake at the tasting turned to...

5:59

The dust in my mouth, we

6:02

did not choose that big.

6:04

The floral arrangements brought

6:06

swarms of flies. Wedding

6:08

planners kept getting visions of

6:10

their own dust and something. Screaming

6:12

centerpiece of. Seating shirts where the chairs

6:15

all ended up stacked

6:16

on the tables.

6:17

We heard weeping in the middle

6:19

of the night.

6:20

We went to investigate.

6:23

It was the little plastic bread and

6:25

broom on the top of the wedding cake. Kerfluey,

6:28

like I said. A mess. Oh,

6:32

at this rate, I'll never be a messes.

6:34

You will, Vanessa. You

6:36

will. I

6:39

thought after my divorce, I would never find

6:41

love again. But

6:44

you did.

6:44

I did. And

6:47

now it feels like some uncanny power

6:50

wants to prevent this wedding.

6:52

But nothing will. Sinister

6:54

forces trying to push us apart are strong.

6:58

But our pull is stronger.

7:03

Did it just get darker?

7:10

I can see my breath, Mitchie.

7:12

And scurred.

7:14

Frank, she's scurred.

7:19

We both are. We all are. What's

7:21

happening? Everyone's scared. Sadie,

7:24

everyone's scared, shall we?

7:26

Indeed. Excuse

7:28

me, gathered guests. If anyone

7:30

here wishes to halt this

7:32

marriage via a cult, sinister,

7:35

or otherworldly means, speak

7:38

now or forever hold

7:40

your peace.

7:42

The power of Sadie compels you.

7:49

If you're a monster, you have to tell us. Is

7:53

that true?

7:53

Well, I hope so. Something's

7:56

happening. Can you feel it?

8:00

The doors just blew open! Someone,

8:04

some things here! Silhouetted

8:07

in the... It can't

8:09

be! Mitch?

8:13

What is it?

8:15

Hi. Wait. Mitch?

8:20

Maddie? Mmm...Maddie?

8:27

Mmm...X. Why, it's

8:31

my...Haggy? Maggie,

8:34

hello. What brings

8:36

you here today? And have you,

8:38

since your divorce, made a pact with a demon,

8:40

or gone to a school for witchcraft, or been

8:43

bitten by a hell-born spider? Oh,

8:44

no! Hi,

8:47

Mitch.

8:48

Are you getting married?

8:50

Am I interrupting? I'm sorry, this is just

8:52

the weirdest, strangest, modest combination

8:54

of a... ...dissing and convoluted series

8:57

of events. Okay,

8:58

a likely story. Do

9:00

tell. Or don't. I was on

9:02

a blind date. Sorry, Mitch. Well,

9:05

apology accepted. I'm in the middle of getting married.

9:07

Yeah. Continue.

9:09

Or don't. I was on this blind

9:12

date. Guy never showed. Circumstance,

9:14

circumstance. Somehow a kid's menu ended

9:16

up on my table. Oh, the cocktails

9:19

must have been so adorably easy.

9:21

I think the time

9:24

I had this maze where you had to

9:27

help a child

9:29

chef...

9:30

I would never have... ...would not watch that show.

9:32

Deliver

9:35

a pizza. End of the maze, there's

9:38

a brand insignia for our distillery.

9:40

Oh, I smidgen

9:42

the distillery. Yes, of

9:45

course. Yeah. Force of habit.

9:48

I know the feeling. Seeing

9:52

it made me want a drink. I

9:54

know the feeling. But

9:56

this restaurant was

9:58

just beer and wine. It didn't have al... New York,

10:01

New York, whiskey. So we're wound up around

10:03

the corner as a star, I think,

10:05

when realized. Meryl of the

10:07

Kelts? Meryl of the Kelts. Where

10:11

we had our first date.

10:12

Oh my god, it's you wearing white. White.

10:14

Met someone at

10:17

Beryl, Adam, circumstance, circumstance.

10:19

We wound up locked in overnight, and all

10:21

we had to drink was your whiskey.

10:24

I don't see the problem. One

10:27

convolute later, someone said, Adam, you

10:29

tickets to see the Colorado Progh horns.

10:31

My favorite tea. We're

10:33

nowhere near the Colorado Progh

10:35

horn. Misunderstanding shenanigans, Adam

10:37

and I got separated. The earmorn as it

10:40

changes moved up to the streets, and

10:42

my screen vendor was also

10:43

nice. Weird, strange, odd, bang,

10:45

bang, boom. Next thing I know, I'm

10:48

outside those doors, and they blow

10:50

open and culminate.

10:52

Here I am, where you are. I

10:55

swear, Mitch, I did not know it was your wedding.

10:59

What? Why do you expect

11:01

us to believe any of that? I

11:05

believe you, Maggie. You'd never do anything

11:07

to ruin my wedding that you didn't even know about.

11:10

What did she do about it? She's

11:12

lying. She's lying about

11:14

everything. Put a stake in her, and then shoot that

11:16

stake with a silver bullet, and then let's get married.

11:20

I don't know whether to believe her or not. I'm

11:22

ridiculous. Sorry.

11:26

Wait, why would Maggie haunted house our engagement, only to

11:28

tell such a bonkers story at our wedding? Insorcellant,

11:33

bedazzling, I don't

11:35

know how it works. All I know is that I've never

11:37

heard such a ludicrous tale. Yes,

11:40

almost childish, isn't it? Yes.

11:46

Almost too... Oh, is there

11:48

more? Just

11:54

that I can make anything into 47 syllables.

11:57

Understood. Good

11:59

information.

11:59

going forward.

12:02

And it's almost too childish considering

12:04

the reason for Mitch and Maggie's separation.

12:07

Both of us were so alone in our grief when

12:09

the thing we never speak of happened.

12:13

Your twins fell into a

12:15

well and died. Get over it.

12:19

One broke her neck, the other drowned.

12:21

It happens all the time. We

12:26

didn't know how to help each other. I was at

12:29

sea. I was too. Of

12:32

course you weren't the only one. Something

12:35

that upsets children is finding out that they

12:37

too are mortal.

12:38

Isn't that right girls?

12:40

Lexi, Alexa, please come

12:42

out darlings. We're on to your progenitor

12:45

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13:23

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13:28

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14:01

What? Oh no, this part of it.

14:04

Wait, huh? Oh,

14:07

uh,

14:08

go surreal everyone. Surprise.

14:10

Wow, what do you know about

14:12

that? What the fuck is that? I don't think

14:14

this is part of it.

14:15

My girls.

14:17

Oh, aren't you darling

14:19

simply darling in your matching

14:22

barrettes and blue dresses?

14:24

Yes, we are. Lexi,

14:28

Alexa, did you write your

14:30

name and then book after me as a

14:32

coming here? That was my idea.

14:35

And it was my idea to haunt daddy's new wedding

14:37

so he wouldn't have it. Well,

14:41

it didn't work. Right,

14:43

Mitch? We're still having the wedding. We're

14:46

extra having it. Vows, now.

14:49

Vows, now. Vows, now.

14:51

That's you.

14:53

That

14:56

is not me. But

14:59

Vows, now. No. I said,

15:01

I said, I just knew. I

15:05

know

15:05

it's difficult for you to see your father

15:07

get remarried. Not difficult. Impossible.

15:11

We want us to be a family again,

15:13

all of us.

15:15

And where does that leave me? You

15:17

will send to the bottom of our icky sticky

15:20

well. A honeymoon alone in a well's

15:22

bottom. Sadie and I honeymooned

15:25

in a Manhattan.

15:26

You mean

15:28

in Manhattan? No.

15:37

Miss, you'll all let us be

15:39

together. Mitch,

15:43

please do something about your dead children.

15:48

Girls, I am

15:50

so happy that you are here, really.

15:53

And I'm happy that Mommy

15:55

is here. You are all

15:57

very important to me. And

16:00

you to us, Mitch, really, you seem better

16:02

than when we parted. I feel

16:04

better. Like I can do anything. I

16:07

thought you made me do you. Yes,

16:11

it's my wedding day. That's

16:15

really special to a person like me.

16:19

A person who never thought she'd even

16:21

have a wedding.

16:23

I know

16:26

exactly what to do. Lexi,

16:29

Alexa,

16:30

I would love it

16:31

if you would be our flower

16:34

girl. We don't want to be

16:36

flower girls. We don't want to be at a wedding. We don't

16:39

want there to be a wedding. Don't you want Daddy

16:41

to be happy again? We

16:43

want all of us to be happy together.

16:46

We're just happy to see you this

16:48

one time today. And

16:51

maybe after this,

16:53

we can move on, and you can too.

16:57

Okay, will we flower girls

16:59

right, Lexi?

17:01

And you promise not to send your daddy's

17:03

new bride to the bottom of a

17:05

well? But that's not fair. She

17:09

sent us to the dad

17:11

and he said, you can't be saved

17:12

here. The bride wasn't even the

17:14

one. Malice said something there. This

17:17

is definitely possible. She

17:21

did what? Liars,

17:25

in source, women, for dazzling. Ignore

17:27

them. Let's get to the vows.

17:29

Not so fast. Yes, let's

17:32

get to the vows.

17:34

Yes. Not so fast.

17:37

Yes.

17:40

Not so fast, I said. Whoa.

17:47

So fast.

17:49

Yeah, so fast.

17:51

Mitch?

17:53

No, don't. Oh,

17:56

wait,

17:56

what is happening?

17:58

Hi, Maggie.

17:59

It's nice to see you. It

18:02

isn't. Vows. Now.

18:06

Sorry, Max. Gotta. Vows.

18:09

Now. Yeah.

18:11

Daddy, no!

18:13

Girls, hi. What's up?

18:16

I'm sorry,

18:16

Mitch.

18:19

Your fiancé is a

18:21

creature called a matrimony

18:23

day. Also

18:25

called a nightmarry, but most commonly

18:28

known as a bride-cueller.

18:30

They're

18:32

like succubi, but for legal commitment. Oh.

18:36

Your afiance is a monster,

18:39

darling. You're marrying her because of

18:41

her aura of allure.

18:44

Oh? In source, I meant

18:46

to bedazzling. Two words

18:48

that mean the same thing. Love.

18:52

So let's tie this mat up with a bow.

18:55

Why should my being a monster that

18:57

will survive by feeding on your love

19:00

until you shrivel like a desiccated wood

19:02

ear mushroom

19:03

change anything, baby? Do

19:09

not underestimate the bit about how

19:11

you murdered your fiancé's children. Yes.

19:17

But if that was on purpose... How

19:20

else was I supposed to break up his marriage?

19:23

You weren't. She's a monster, right?

19:25

I can't just, like, slate her with my hands, can't

19:27

I?

19:27

Well, unfortunately, no. You

19:29

need to put a stake in her and then you shoot the

19:31

stake with a silver bow. She

19:34

really gave us all the clues. Murdering

19:37

those kids was the only

19:40

way to be sure you'd be soundable to

19:42

my powers when I swooped in.

19:45

Why me, though? I

19:49

like tall.

19:56

Let me see if I understand.

19:59

You couldn't marry someone who was

20:02

already married.

20:03

Obviously, not there are rules.

20:05

So you chucked

20:07

my daughters into a deep well,

20:10

waited for the grief to overcome Maggie

20:13

and me so that we divorced, which

20:15

to be clear was never a sure thing,

20:18

and then pounced when I became legally

20:20

available, because

20:23

you like tall?

20:27

You really get me, let's do vows.

20:32

I'm sorry, why didn't you just murder me?

20:35

Yeah, okay, I guess that would have

20:38

been more of a straight line. Well,

20:40

we're glad she didn't murder you, Maggie,

20:43

because it means you're here to save

20:45

the day.

20:46

I am?

20:47

You are.

20:49

As she just established,

20:53

Matrimonade cannot marry someone

20:55

who was already married.

20:57

I don't see what that has to do with Maggie. I

21:00

do.

21:03

I mean, I will.

21:05

You know?

21:08

Oh, Maggie, yes.

21:12

Yeah,

21:14

I would be thrilled if you would sham-remarry

21:16

me to prevent my future as a shriveled, desiccated,

21:19

wood-ear mushroom guy. No,

21:23

plan

21:24

is working.

21:26

Wait, how much of this was your plan?

21:29

All of it?

21:32

No! No

21:35

plans for working, Mitch.

21:36

Mitch,

21:39

you know I am what's best for you. I

21:41

would never leave you alone,

21:42

even for one moment, and

21:45

if it came to it, when it

21:48

comes to it,

21:50

I will wear your skin.

21:54

How would it ever come to that?

21:59

You'll see. I

22:02

don't want to. It's part of it. I am not

22:04

interested in that. I

22:07

actually don't care. Do

22:09

you think you're making a case for yourself? You're

22:11

just digging a deep hole. Afficient,

22:14

please marry these two.

22:17

Sure. Okay, you want me to just do the vows in

22:19

the book

22:20

or... I mean, I can just do the vows

22:22

from the last time we got married.

22:23

Those vows were 15 years ago. I

22:27

remember every word. Don't

22:29

do this, Mitch. You'll regret

22:32

it. I'll... regret.

22:39

Okay. Maggie?

22:45

My world began when I met you. And

22:48

every day since then has been a

22:50

new beginning. Because

22:52

with you by my side, every day is filled

22:54

with hope and love.

22:57

And adventure.

23:00

So no matter what challenges we face,

23:04

or what endings we encounter, I

23:07

know we can get through it all. Because

23:11

our love

23:13

is a spring well everlasting. I

23:17

love you, Maggie. Same.

23:26

Same.

23:37

And wife again.

23:39

Now that's not binding, efficient.

23:41

Same. Hooray!

23:45

Hooray! Yeah! Maggie,

23:49

this feels right. Of course

23:51

it does. I

23:54

meant every word you said.

23:58

I guess...

23:59

I did too. I

24:03

told you

24:03

that you'd be sorry. I'm

24:10

gonna tell about everyone in

24:13

this room. I'm

24:15

gonna tell you about everyone in this room.

24:23

I'm gonna tell you about everyone

24:26

in this room. Everyone

24:29

in this place. All

24:32

your friends. Uh oh,

24:34

I don't love that. One too many turns.

24:37

And then your once again wife,

24:40

like in her pitch. And then

24:42

I'll ensource all you so

24:44

hard. And then we'll

24:46

get completely married, followed by honeymoon.

24:49

Shrivel, shrivel, I'll wear your skin.

24:52

And then stuff that you really don't want to know about.

24:55

Oh, then stuff I don't want to know

24:57

about. Unless

24:59

someone has a stick and a silver

25:01

bullet on them. No, no

25:03

one, no one's got one. Right.

25:06

I win.

25:08

Girls, how would you like one

25:10

more job? It's not being a flower girl,

25:12

but I think it'll be fun.

25:14

Is it being alive again?

25:15

No, but... But

25:28

how would you like to drag your murderer

25:30

to hell? You mean take a

25:32

ice cold and cold vengeance? I

25:34

sure do. Come

25:38

play with us. No,

25:41

no,

25:42

please don't. Come play with

25:44

us forever and ever

25:47

and ever.

25:49

Hey, girls, come back in time for

25:51

supper, alright? Yes, baby.

26:06

Those adorable little scams.

26:09

Frank, Sadie,

26:12

we can't thank you enough. Not just

26:14

for ridding us of that marriage monster,

26:16

but for bringing us back together. We're

26:19

going to have our second first dance. We'll

26:21

see you at the bar. Always.

26:32

Shall we

26:33

toast to marriage, Frank? It

26:36

doesn't always have to be quite so difficult,

26:38

does it? Well,

26:39

don't tell them, love. They'll only be jealous.

26:48

It seems when caked with unholy

26:50

matrimony, Frank and Sadie

26:53

will go out of their way for an old pal.

26:56

Join the

26:57

noyles next time. Join

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