0:02

Greetings, Adventure-cateers! We had so

0:04

much fun getting back together last year that we've decided

0:07

to do it again. The Thrilling Adventure

0:09

Hour returns live on June 24th, 2023 for

0:11

two shows

0:14

at the Bourbon Room in Hollywood. Better

0:16

news! The 7pm show and the 9pm

0:18

show will be two completely different

0:21

scripts. Plus we've got pre-show

0:23

and post-show events planned, so join me,

0:25

Hal Lublin, as well as Paul F. Tompkins,

0:27

Paget Brewster, your Wyrt Juice pals

0:30

and special guests for a night of

0:32

thrills that you'll find beyond

0:34

belief. Go to bourbonroomhollywood.com

0:37

to find pages for our 7pm and 9pm

0:39

shows. On those pages you'll also find

0:41

a link to buy tickets to stream the show live

0:44

or on demand. One ticket gets you

0:46

streaming access to both shows. Coming

0:48

in person? Join us before the early show

0:50

for thrilling trivia in which cast members

0:53

will go head to head against audience members to

0:55

prove once and for all who knows

0:57

the show the best. The answer may

0:59

or may not surprise you. And

1:02

stay after the late show for a reverse

1:04

Q&A. This was invented by the Wyrt

1:06

Juice players ourselves, we're very proud of it. It's

1:08

like a regular Q&A but we'll be asking

1:10

the questions of each other and maybe of

1:12

you, the audience. Make

1:15

a night of it on June 24th. Go to

1:17

bourbonroomhollywood.com for live

1:19

tickets and streaming tickets. That's bourbonroomhollywood.com

1:23

for a thrilling night.

1:49

It's Captain Laserbeam!

1:53

Yes! Who's

2:03

got the science of a hundred lasers?

2:06

Who is Captain Laser Bean? What

2:09

gives him power? Is it all those lasers?

2:12

Who is Captain Laser Bean? One

2:16

time. Any time

2:18

a criminal crimes a crime. Because

2:22

he has it, love. If a

2:24

laser B&T is the captain,

2:26

uh. The dispensing

2:28

justice would be a laser. Who

2:30

is Captain Laser Bean? Where

2:33

did he get his name? That's right, lasers.

2:36

Who is Captain Laser? Who is Captain

2:38

Laser? Who is Captain Laser

2:41

Bean? Now,

2:53

mutations and ventricoteers,

2:55

welcome again to legendary Apex City.

2:58

Home to that high flying scion of

3:00

science, Captain Laser Bean.

3:03

Tonight's episode, the great

3:06

watery throw down. We

3:09

begin at the totally rad

3:11

arenaverse. Where Captain Laser

3:14

Bean plays laser tag for

3:17

charity. Ow!

3:21

Ouch! Least Bean laser beams!

3:24

I thought for sure I'd be better at

3:26

this. T.O.'s!

3:28

T.O.'s! Now,

3:32

Congresswoman Dandy Cat, that's not

3:34

fair. I call T.O.'s. Do

3:37

not comically laser me after I've chastised

3:40

you, Congresswoman. Thank

3:44

the laser lords. That is what

3:46

I think it is. The adventurer-catere

3:49

distress call. Broadcasting on

3:51

a frequency only I can hear. Thanks,

3:53

laser hearing. I'd love to

3:56

stay and... Ah, quit

3:58

it out! I'd

4:00

love to stay and keep playing with you all. And

4:02

where's Florida? It's a worthy

4:05

awareness campaign, but if the Adventure Kiteers

4:07

are calling, it means

4:09

serious trouble in a big city! So

4:12

long! And away! Captain

4:16

laser beam flies faster than a thousand

4:19

hummingbirds to the Adventure

4:21

Kiteer Clubhouse.

4:23

No malice can evade their sight. No

4:25

crimes escape their ears. They hear,

4:28

they see! They report to me,

4:30

Captain Laser Beam's Adventure

4:33

Kiteers! Captain

4:35

laser beam! Just

4:38

what evil lurks, my young chum?

4:40

Has the eager, creeper preemptively

4:43

planned funerals for his healthy family and

4:45

friends? Worse!

4:49

Has...has Anteater

4:51

put the city's parents' sisters back on

4:53

the menu? Worse!

4:58

Don't tell me Fabulon is back

5:00

in town, forcing intergalactic makeovers

5:03

on an unsuspecting populace! Worse!

5:09

Why don't you just tell me, Claudia? Because

5:12

isn't this more fun? Is

5:15

it what more fun? Plain

5:18

guess. Look, my brother Dabney

5:20

and I play it all the time. It's where one person knows

5:22

something and the other one has

5:24

to guess it without any hints. It could

5:26

be anything. There is like literally

5:28

no way to narrow it down.

5:31

Your brother Dabney is ten, right? Yes.

5:34

That is not what you were supposed to be guessing.

5:38

No, I'm just saying a ten-year-old has

5:40

a lot more time on his hands to play guessing

5:43

games than a fully grown adult person

5:45

who also happens to be the marquee superhero

5:48

of Apex City and who is running a small

5:50

business with his cousin. Warmer?

5:56

You think about your cousin? Called...

5:59

My cousin!

6:00

What did Brendan do now? Still cold,

6:02

isn't this fun? It

6:03

decidedly is not! You activated

6:06

the Adventure Kateria distress signal, Claudia.

6:08

That life form beacon is not something

6:10

to be taken lightly. Now please,

6:13

tell me what evil lurks.

6:15

Ehh, Brian. I

6:19

met a celebrity. And?

6:26

And gas! Was

6:29

that celebrity an evil doer? Because

6:31

if they weren't, then Adventure Kateria's

6:33

President Pro Tem Hannah Jean is

6:35

going to have an issue and issue

6:38

you a citation!

6:39

I've been before the tribunal before, I'm

6:41

not scared. Okay,

6:44

a celebrity who isn't an evil

6:46

doer. Alright, okay, I

6:49

must be a superhero then. Ha! Is it one of the acumen?

6:53

Nope.

6:54

Doctor Patient! Oh, wouldn't that

6:57

be a privilege? Nope, he's on call. Ahh!

7:00

Yes, dredamas, the past teller!

7:03

Quickity spit! Cram champ, the road

7:05

lawyer! Nope, nope, nope,

7:07

and nope, you are so bad, I guess. I

7:10

give up!

7:19

I am the sub-aquatic darkness. I

7:22

am the abysmalogic layer. I

7:25

exert the pressure of justice on the metazoan

7:27

creatures who lurk in the deep. I am...

7:30

Philip Fathom, the deep-sea

7:33

detective!

7:35

I thought nothing was impossible for Captain

7:37

Laserbeam, except for giving up. That's

7:40

historically been true, but Claudia here

7:42

has been more befuddled than Rebus Feast,

7:45

the cerebrum-teasing terrier

7:47

terrorist! Well, you

7:49

have your answer now. Thanks

7:52

for ruining a good game of Guess,

7:54

Philip Fathom. There's no time for

7:56

games! Yes.

8:07

Sorry.

8:15

Let's disagree that I guessed correctly

8:18

that the celebrity you met, Claudia, was Philip

8:21

Fathom.

8:21

Wrong! What is even happening

8:24

in this clubhouse? Can you guess

8:26

who I met, Mr. Fathom?

8:28

I don't guess. I deduce.

8:32

Claudia Fager, tenth grade at Apex

8:35

Science and Latin,

8:36

A-minus in Science, Care Plus

8:38

in Latin. Not great, Claudia.

8:41

It's a dead language. Dead

8:44

or alive, your parents want you to ace Latin,

8:47

so you're being tutored by Bolivar Garrity, a

8:49

senior on the swim team. You'd know. I do know!

8:56

I let Bolivar practice in the Fathom

8:58

Cove because his parents work mornings

9:00

at their savings and loan, Apex Creditor.

9:03

And guess who Bolivar Garrity

9:06

brings to every practice? Oooookay!

9:10

Fine, his dumb goth sister, Telma.

9:13

I'm

9:25

not goth. I'm evil. Hi, Telma. Let

9:28

me finish. Chanel. Good

9:31

God! How

9:32

does she see with that entire girl thing

9:34

cow? And

9:37

how is your outfit so black? Does

9:39

it absorb light? Anything

9:42

black is black because it absorbs light.

9:46

Hang on. Let me

9:48

see. Don't laser me.

9:51

Don't laser Briny! Who's Briny? I'm

9:53

Briny. No,

9:55

you're Telma Garrity Busan. Not

9:57

when I'm wearing this outfit. Apex

10:01

Harbor is vast and tempestuous. Her

10:03

myriad inlets, bites and canals

10:06

encroach ever steadier upon the concrete

10:08

of the city itself.

10:10

The things that emerge from those bodies

10:12

are treacherous and biodiverse.

10:16

And the threats to our waterways from you dry

10:19

lords are worse. I've

10:21

conserved the drink alone for too long.

10:23

I needed help.

10:26

I already had a cape. I'm not as strong

10:29

a swimmer as my brother, but he's going

10:31

to New Year's state next year so he couldn't commit

10:33

to superhearing. Anyway, I'm

10:35

fine at swimming.

10:36

Don't overstate! He

10:39

keeps telling me I have to learn to crawl before

10:41

I can butterfly. Like, he keeps

10:44

telling me.

10:44

I

10:47

think it's nice that you have a sidekick. She's

10:49

not my sidekick. We are a syndicate.

10:52

The League of Fathoms. What?

10:55

Who's in it? Most of Apex

10:57

City's water-themed heroes. Beach Baby,

11:00

Doc Holiday, the planktonic ideal,

11:03

Lake Bell, the Creek Chic, Old

11:07

King's Shoal, Mini Diver,

11:10

about half of the pool party, including

11:12

Girl Pool and Pool Boy,

11:15

the River Phoenix, the

11:23

Marsha. Liquid Courage,

11:28

the Salineagers, Locke and Quay,

11:31

Holy Carp, Luke

11:34

Warmwater, Sister

11:36

Cystern, Sister

11:41

Cystern,

11:56

Crawdads in Arms, Diver 8,

12:02

Stream Lover, the fine

12:04

tuna, Champ,

12:07

the sea stars, the wholesaler.

12:10

No! Did all his parts finally wash

12:12

ashore? They did. That's like

12:15

a 20,000 league. Who you fight? Seriously?

12:21

I would like an exhaustive list, yes.

12:34

All of Apex City's water-themed

12:36

villains. The

12:40

Brookworm, Geyser Soze,

12:43

the Lagoonatic, Sewer

12:45

Brat, Creek Freak, the

12:48

Screwdiver, the Bloody Mary,

12:51

the Damn Yankee, James

12:53

Busammon, Annette,

12:56

Draniac, the Shajuit, the

12:59

Scoopin' Sandwich, Crazy

13:02

Eddie, the Seaward.

13:13

Anymore? Yeah,

13:16

I got some more. The

13:23

Reservoir Dogs, the

13:28

Freebasins, Buckingham

13:32

Malice. Oh,

13:35

sorry, Buckingham Clam Malice. The

13:41

Tank Robber, Dr.

13:43

Dune,

13:44

the Sandtagonist, the

13:48

S-word Fish, Dr.

13:51

Mackerel and Mr. Tide, Mucky

13:55

Duck, the Death Guard,

13:58

Sir Francis Crackett.

15:29

union-themed

16:00

evil doer. Now how do you

16:02

know he's who stole the wreckage of the

16:04

Halifax? He left a gloat

16:06

note.

16:07

Villains always leave gloat notes. Well,

16:10

I hope they don't stop. It makes it so much

16:12

easier to know who did what crime. You

16:15

could always guess.

16:17

Not now, Claudia. Philophtham,

16:21

shall we team up and head to the main

16:23

villain's lair and catch him red-handed?

16:26

Red like lobster? No.

16:32

Let's make it a three-mup.

16:36

Oh, gosh. Yeah,

16:38

OK. Not what I expected,

16:41

but I'm open to it. Sort

16:43

of a righteous triangle.

16:46

OK, fun. Meet

16:49

you there. So long. In a way.

16:52

So long, in a way. I thought we

16:54

just agreed to a three-mup, Philip Fathom. Philip

16:58

Fathom? Tell

17:01

me about it. I'm supposed to meet him

17:03

at the Aquamobile. It

17:05

drives on land. It's

17:07

bifibious, yes.

17:13

Meanwhile, at the main

17:15

villain's lair, the Dory

17:18

Hole. Oh, boy, young fellows

17:21

who follow the sea. Way,

17:29

hey, blow the man down

17:32

and pray, pay attention and

17:34

listen to me. Give

17:36

me some time to blow

17:39

the man down. Ah,

17:42

it's wicked good to be a manor. More,

17:49

though I am, I'd rather

17:52

be in open sea, plunging

17:55

the depths of the brackish blue for

17:57

Apex City's succulent crustace.

17:59

I say, singing

18:04

to myself the old shanties,

18:07

way,

18:08

blow the man down. When

18:13

crime appears upon the scene, so does

18:16

Captain Laserbeam.

18:19

Captain Laserbeam? And

18:23

I brought a friend.

18:28

Work friend.

18:33

And I also brought a work friend.

18:40

More like an intern. Could

18:43

you stop crashing through the cabin top

18:45

of my boat, you guys? Sure,

18:49

now that we're done, my adventure...

18:51

My adventure... my

18:55

adventure... my adventure... couture!

18:58

You could not, should not, in a boat, Claudia.

19:02

I got worried about you, Captain Laserbeam. What

19:05

would Apex City do without you? Well,

19:08

that's something you'll never have to find out. Not

19:10

as long as I'm around. We

19:13

gonna hang around all day like a bunch of clownfish,

19:16

or are we actually gonna fight this guy?

19:18

Who's this now? Guess.

19:26

How would I even start to narrow it down,

19:28

just say who it is? I'm

19:31

Bryony. Sidekick. Associate.

19:34

Intern. You

19:36

get paid for that? I'm getting a lot

19:39

of experience. Must

19:42

be nice. Some of us have to work for

19:44

a living. Lobster don't catch

19:47

themselves. But it seems you

19:49

did. We got your note, main

19:52

villain, about stealing the wreckage of the

19:54

Halifax. Ah!

19:56

I should have figured you'd show up, Philip Fathom.

19:58

You're always... I'm hiding in the sea.

20:01

I am the sea! Didn't

20:04

figure you'd need to bring along the muscle.

20:07

Unlucky for you, I've been working out

20:09

my laser as Maximus.

20:13

I was talking about the kid. Being

20:17

sarcastic. Oh, okay.

20:20

Why? Because a girl can't fight a

20:22

crusty old chowder head like you? No.

20:26

Because you're like 90 pounds soaking

20:28

wet. I'm

20:30

wet because it's always raining in the harbor

20:32

and your dumb boat doesn't have a roof. Oh,

20:36

doesn't it? It used to. You'll

20:40

be hearing from my lawyer. Oh,

20:43

you can call your lawyer. From

20:45

jail! You could

20:48

and should actually do this, but first where's the wreckage? Where

20:50

have you put the Halifax? I told

20:53

you where it is. Nice uptake

20:55

you got there, Harvard.

20:57

It's the only place it would fit and also look presentable.

21:00

The Apex Harbor, an article depository.

21:03

The place you stole

21:05

it from? It was only practical.

21:09

So it's there now? Oh, it's

21:11

there. Okay

21:14

then, hang on. In what way was it stolen?

21:17

I took it. In

21:18

what sense? He left a gloat note.

21:22

Uh, yeah. I

21:26

stole it. It's mine. And

21:28

now you're mine. Ours?

21:31

I'm not certain. Look

21:33

it. If I wanted it somewhere else,

21:35

it'd be somewhere else.

21:38

How would you move it even? Not

21:41

your problem. I

21:43

made a decision on commission of the boat napping

21:45

that where it fit best is where it was,

21:47

not to mention it looked best there. Honestly,

21:50

have you seen the lighting and the depository?

21:53

It's a document. Whoever's

21:55

doing the staging there should get an over

21:58

prize. They don't give no back. prices

22:00

for lighting. They

22:02

could. Who

22:04

makes up the

22:07

rules? People.

22:09

So people, change them. I'm

22:14

sorry, just to get back to, the

22:16

Halifax is at the depository,

22:19

but you're claiming ownership because you purloined

22:21

it. Fair, I'm square.

22:25

Without so much as moving it. Deciding

22:28

not to. What's so difficult?

22:32

He left a gloat note. In

22:34

which he granted the museum liberty to display

22:36

it same as before. Testament to

22:38

my villainy. And

22:42

I want to say, we're done here?

22:48

We have everything we need, right Briny?

22:50

Let me just check my tape recorder. Yep,

22:54

we're good. What

22:56

do you mean, you're good? We recorded

22:58

your confession. It's the same

23:01

as what's in the gloat note, but I guess it's

23:03

not like he signed the gloat note.

23:06

Of course I did. He absolutely did. And

23:09

had it notarized, one

23:13

of my henchmen is an authorized notary

23:15

public.

23:18

But this recording will make the case just

23:20

the same. Ah, good work. But

23:23

what case? He stole the Halifax.

23:26

I'm still not sure he did. And

23:29

when he tries to write off,

23:31

donating it to the museum, ah,

23:33

tax stuff, that's how they got the golden

23:36

gangster. Do we actually care about

23:38

that? It is kind of the

23:40

government's problem. Most of them are more

23:42

corrupt than the villains we face. Not

23:45

my guy. No, nor mine. Still.

23:50

Same guy. When

23:52

I get this taped to the Cape Public accountant,

23:55

the main villain will go down with

23:57

or without the ship.

23:59

Yeah. Yeah, okay, so a main

24:02

villain, laser, sorry

24:04

about your roof, and can

24:06

we, so long and wait?

24:10

We'll be watching you.

24:12

Yeah, watch me,

24:14

watch me through the hogging hall, you butt

24:16

in my bow. We

24:19

will, don't have it fixed. I'm

24:21

definitely gonna.

24:23

It does rain all the time in the harbor.

24:26

The rain is my soul, weeping

24:28

for the depths to which this city has

24:31

sunk. Bye.

24:49

Yeah, so like I said, so

24:51

long and, do you need

24:53

a ride, Claudia? No, nothing, buddy.

24:56

So long, in a way!

25:00

How'd you get here, anyway? Guess. You

25:06

borrow to spare laser jet packs? Well, they're

25:08

just called laser packs. Of

25:11

course they are. You borrow a hundred

25:13

space

25:13

lasers as well, spare lasers? Just

25:17

one. Philip Fathom isn't the only one

25:19

with a sidekick, just the only

25:21

one with a sidekick. Philip

25:24

Fathom isn't the only one with a sidekick,

25:27

just the only one who knows he

25:29

has one.

25:31

Iconic. Thank

25:35

you. Now, if

25:38

you wanna leave a note on a wreck, why

25:40

don't you go ahead and drop one on mom next

25:42

time?

25:43

Let me guess, you got yourself a freeze

25:45

laser there. You're a

25:47

good guesser, dad.

25:53

Then that's another vile villain, kind

25:57

of vanquished by the light of

25:59

the moon. Amplified adventurer Captain

26:02

Laserbeam with the help of

26:04

Philip Fathom. Until next

26:06

time, Sayonara, solid

26:09

citizens.