Episode Transcript
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0:01
You probably know the atlas Butler
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phone number. 1-800-FURN-US. But
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maybe you don't know. You can
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also call... 1-800-FURN-US. for
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the highest quality plumbing services.
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Clog drain? 1-800-FURN-US.
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Leaky pipe.
0:20
1-800-FURN-US. Yes, the Atlas
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Butler phone number says furnace. Yes, the Atlas Butler phone
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number he says Kinda weird for plumbing. But hey,
0:26
life is weird sometimes. furnace. Kind of weird for plumbing. but hey my life
0:28
is weird sometimes. Ladies
0:30
Ever seen a platypus? is
0:34
a very exciting day. We've
0:37
talked about him on the show a handful of
0:39
times. I would consider him part of
0:41
the lore of the show. Ladies and
0:43
gentlemen, make some noise at home in your car or
0:45
wherever. But we don't only care at top. Oh, hello
0:48
everybody. I like that you
0:50
mentioned me before. Was it all good? It
0:52
was. After you worried you, right? Yeah, no, no,
0:54
no. I've been talking about it all the time. It was. But
0:57
I will say, some
1:00
people's entry point to you was your
1:02
wardrobe malfunction on TikTok. Do you remember
1:04
this? Oh, God. Oh,
1:06
God. Was it like my wiener?
1:08
Yes. Yeah, it was
1:10
like bouncing around. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, that's a
1:12
good introduction. Yeah, yeah. That introduction. Now they know
1:15
you're working. Yeah, I can add work. I mean,
1:17
right. It's kind of hard to tune away now. Yeah. Capture
1:20
them at that moment. They have to buy
1:22
a ticket. Yeah, and I'm an idiot. I don't even know. I'm
1:25
going to dance around my house and my friend's side.
1:27
Did you see what you posted? I'm like, what? Your
1:30
dick is like... And I went back and looked.
1:33
I'm like, oh, man, it is. Wow. Oh,
1:36
I respect you for just looking at that and then carrying on.
1:38
Yeah, I just... Yeah, I know it. Yeah. Well,
1:43
hell yeah, man. Thank God I have a big one. Yeah. Yeah.
1:48
Thank God. Is it right? Then they'd be like, oh, you see
1:50
them? Yeah. It's like this
1:52
little... Yeah. Yeah. So,
1:55
yeah. So, how many times do you watch it a
1:57
day? I mean... form
2:12
a a
2:57
a a a
3:02
a a
3:06
a a
3:11
a a a
3:17
a a
3:24
a a
3:28
a a
3:36
a a
3:44
a a
3:53
a a a
3:59
a 20
4:02
something, 20 20s. Yeah.
4:04
So I didn't know what I was doing. I had
4:06
no clue. I haven't told them that.
4:08
Yeah. I didn't. You know, ready, set and I'm
4:11
like, you know, I don't know what I'm doing.
4:13
And they're like, yeah, you're good. And action.
4:15
I don't know what I'm doing. And
4:18
they just say this, you know, well, it turned out
4:20
okay, because we, you know, the more we got into
4:22
the more you took, you know, I could I do
4:24
stand up. So stand up is way different than movies
4:27
and every aspect of it. And, you know,
4:29
Larry Miller was a brilliant comic that was on the
4:31
one of the cast members. And he, he took me
4:33
aside one day, we were watching the dailies and he
4:35
says, you want to see, can I give you
4:37
a little tip? And I said, please give
4:39
me anything. And he brought me in and
4:42
he said, you see how you're when you're doing this? Let
4:44
me show you this scene we did today. So he did
4:46
something with his, his eyebrow,
4:48
just he just by moving his eyebrow, got
4:51
the got the laugh, it was the punch line,
4:54
watching that little one move as opposed to me,
4:56
you know, jumping around and trying to but but
4:58
then again, it was always props. And so I
5:00
was part of it, I had to be kind
5:02
of bigger than life, jilly, because I'm jumping around
5:05
with big props and surfboards and all this stuff.
5:07
But the actual scenes where you
5:09
had to be serious, he learned, I learned a
5:11
lot, like this scene with Jack Warden. I mean,
5:13
it was a cool kind of a cool scene.
5:16
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, for all the, you
5:18
know, whatever shit people used to give you, you
5:20
did a lot of crazy. Yeah.
5:23
I mean, it's awesome. Actually,
5:25
the the scene where the
5:28
woman flushes the toilet. Yes.
5:30
So it's funny, because my
5:32
cousins, they show like they showed me this movie, I
5:34
think I was maybe like six or seven, we were
5:36
all about the same age. And they like they love
5:39
the movie. They're like, you gotta watch Chairman of the
5:41
Board. So we watched Chairman of the Board. And that
5:44
scene, for some reason, was like
5:46
stamped in my mind. And I'm
5:49
not exaggerating for the rest of my life. I've
5:51
always had this thought that while
5:53
I'm taking a shower, someone's gonna storm the
5:55
bathroom and flush the toilet and turn the
5:57
water cold. So In a weird way. That's
6:00
the impact. Know you're a fan. Got
6:02
my life you live from in fear
6:04
in the soured it will soon movie
6:06
making a meme there you know I
6:08
go back and look x get some
6:10
a run in a Civil Props a
6:12
team of the then of is it
6:14
was suicide yeah now. So.
6:16
You've been in the game a long
6:18
time. Yeah, yeah as it over thirty
6:21
years at this point. Oh yeah, yeah
6:23
yeah. I'm I'm Thirty Nine Thirty nine.
6:25
Oh my God. And vote on Forty.
6:28
That's M Adamant for your next year.
6:30
The Forty years. Yeah, Forty Years He
6:32
remembered. I'm. On the veteran
6:34
now yeah of bench an old guy which
6:36
is cool it yeah i like as the
6:38
reality is it is i guess me think
6:41
about when you meet when you're not his
6:43
school of be young kid that once to
6:45
ask. The. Will guide slam that they
6:47
will get that a young people in
6:49
a real kids wanna say what's your
6:52
take on this isn't this fun Their
6:54
be son visit diverse roles yeah I
6:56
still do a child yeah but as
6:58
we're on whether don't do memory like
7:01
just for the people as thing that
7:03
aren't familiar like with your entire career
7:05
do member like one of your first
7:07
performances ever like a jovial that absolutely
7:10
This is of the rent skill or
7:12
in the in the cause I'm. A
7:15
librarian had so room office sinuses and
7:17
that they serve beer at night. And
7:20
know there's a stage us to do what
7:22
he calls I go there and do have
7:24
been a comedy innocence great indian added as
7:26
and on our do a buddy of mine
7:29
doing so I went up there has to
7:31
start telling job yes I mean like George
7:33
Carlin jokes and a Richard Pryor jokes and
7:35
you know jokes and had been set for
7:37
not my stuff cs and it was just
7:39
said to come from wind up doing it
7:41
and and be laughing that i i sorry
7:43
like this and than a couple more times
7:46
came by the said. They
7:48
would ask me actually, hey, duel in
7:50
Wednesday's you animate dead like comedy night
7:52
so I said sure. So every Wednesday
7:54
I would have convinced thirty becoming more
7:56
popular than the kids would come and
7:58
drink beers and. In an a
8:01
little show and they would start
8:03
slowly progress in to them my
8:05
own material years as after doing.
8:08
Others jokes and so I
8:10
started thinking of birth awaited.
8:13
To. Come up my own jokes.
8:15
In my first proper was a a
8:17
a neighborhood crime much sign for guess
8:20
and them made stolen it. It
8:22
was on my dorm xy I just rip them off
8:24
my dorm I walked in, i said sorry I'm late,
8:26
knows the neighborhood and held up signs and I said
8:29
how good is or grandma she's in I'm watching the
8:31
sign or. And
8:33
have a laugh. Namesake was clever and funny
8:35
and new. He has kind of rice, told
8:37
the size of his ally, elements of a
8:39
to find year and was smart you know
8:41
is explicitly who go Get or Kremlin sense
8:43
of. And then I started again. I need
8:45
to have more were signs may be like
8:48
think it's so went through the city boca
8:50
and I literally said that's a funny sign.
8:52
Tubes was on a train or is it know
8:54
the train horn. Between these hours and my deaths,
8:56
the hours you need to train Horn geek Hint:
8:58
see the trees here. It is like hold that
9:00
one down. And then I did.
9:03
There is a main. The main road they went
9:05
through Boca Raton was Com Butts Road. yeah so
9:07
I said the ah to get that when he
9:09
does Israel. The ass holes left the as slow
9:11
it was just started become a little I'm. A
9:14
sign bet you know and I had always
9:16
like fifteen different signs that slow children at
9:18
play. If you look at the signed is
9:20
this day them a stick figure with no
9:22
feet as one of the slow the internet
9:24
me see this as a so it was
9:26
also people seen in oh no I go
9:28
that's funny I see the Sunday dinner and
9:30
put this into the ah yes so it's
9:32
gonna come up with the things that were
9:34
M. M people that
9:36
influenced me comedy were like people that wrote
9:39
like George Carlin began to come up with
9:41
that were or gallagher like act and as
9:43
a gag where he we'd see. But.
9:45
Was also clever like you can make itself know like not
9:48
like just holding it does coffee cup he would have to
9:50
be something that would be. In yeah
9:52
that would have do something. I was
9:54
it. You know I'm A, I'm
9:56
sure. That was a pretty
9:58
crazy moment to. be
10:01
acknowledged by Carlin because didn't
10:03
you know like if you're
10:05
saying in college you say his material is
10:07
like right you know right just to give
10:10
it a shot and then you
10:12
eventually you know his name
10:14
comes out of his face I mean
10:16
that must have been insane for you I show it my show overnight
10:18
I do I think about been influenced in my
10:21
life and it was a tradition my friends but
10:23
I was sitting on a couch just like this
10:25
yeah and we watch the HBO special every time
10:27
it aired and so my
10:29
buddies when I'll sit down and we hit play
10:31
and we watch the George Carlin special and then
10:33
sure enough we're just watching it and he says
10:35
you know who packed your bags he says you
10:37
didn't pack your bags he says no carrot top
10:39
pack my bags and I'm
10:42
sitting on my friends like what
10:44
the right the only moment the
10:46
boner you know so like
10:48
sorry fellas I had no idea that big boner back huge
10:52
back that's right everyone's knows about
10:54
now so I can't lie what
10:56
it was everywhere yeah so
10:59
that was it's still my still watch it my watch
11:01
it nightly I still it's still exciting because I think
11:03
George Carlin you know saying your name yeah you first
11:05
get in the business you know you you're
11:07
watching them and thinking about people like that that are
11:10
mentors and you get the he says your name
11:12
it's yeah that's a cool moment because and everyone you
11:14
know would lie if they said they didn't get excited
11:17
their mentor mentioned their name so hey guys
11:19
we want to take a quick break to
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the time. What are you studying?
12:21
Marketing Marketing yet a degree in marketing
12:23
and then when into comedy which is
12:25
the normal thing Radio? yeah but damn
12:27
near as and is my marketing degree
12:29
noom and never. Pursued
12:32
the comedy thing and then I
12:34
got out of exec couldn't Good
12:36
gig you know, gonna gigs together
12:38
so sorry shucking oysters and doing
12:40
mean I'm. Guessing
12:42
peoples' weights, fair and and businesses
12:44
gigs and then one day. Which
12:47
I find to be really kind of
12:49
cool. Story was a second oysters and
12:51
this this couple came in his to
12:53
compulsively and I was do minute my
12:55
normal me know. I would has
12:57
a jukebox on his own. On him as
12:59
jukebox the plays music, plays music. his assistant
13:02
and I'm. I would dance
13:04
around the bar you know, like Mick Jagger
13:06
seem Tigers dummies was on its while second
13:08
oysters and is kind of making people laugh
13:10
and. Discover.
13:13
Just like. Stamina God you looks
13:15
like this. this comedian you must have a
13:17
twin like of hims A I see of
13:19
God forbid I have a twin and I
13:21
said no it is a guy. Swear to
13:23
God you have a twin and he's He
13:25
lives and he does Zebra You go by
13:28
Carrot Top and. And. That the
13:30
as I get carrot Top are some
13:32
guys like Awesome! We disarm in Tampa.
13:35
And I'm thinking oh well really they go
13:37
the main. he looked like mom is weird.
13:40
like the mannerisms and everything. As a yeah,
13:42
never been a look him up. And
13:44
then. now and try to
13:46
pursue to and have those people med kind of
13:48
come in said that i probably would never be
13:50
while so they came in and they they made
13:52
seen me and said there was great so yeah
13:54
some their says went back and started to get
13:57
some gigs together in the night then of course
13:59
i didn't stop him back for yeah
14:01
till now now am I did
14:03
is Wikipedia lying to me or like your
14:05
parents were NASA my father was your dad
14:07
worked for NASA my father worked in NASA
14:09
yeah that's all when you hear Houston we
14:12
have a problem you hear Larry right after
14:14
that yeah yeah yeah I worked at NASA
14:16
and I trained astronauts you know
14:20
I didn't even think anything of it when your kid
14:23
you didn't think your dad's a nerd means he's gonna go to
14:25
work of course and I mean he said you want to go
14:27
to you know a launch I'm like no I don't want to
14:29
go to a launch I'm gonna watch Brady Bunch so
14:33
you drag me down to the Space Center and you
14:35
know watch launches all the time and one
14:38
in particular was I think it was four
14:40
thirteen and my dad says we're
14:42
going to launch I was like man so I go
14:45
down there I'm you're gonna meet Bob Crippen and
14:47
John Young I mean these are the these are going up in
14:49
the space shuttle is a big deal and
14:51
so I said you don't care and
14:53
there's it was they had two tents and they had
14:56
a tent for like like
14:58
hot dogs and cokes and sodas and whatnot they
15:00
had a beer tent so
15:02
my dad says what do you want what do you
15:04
want I said I don't know just a coke and
15:06
a hot dog and my dad says looked at the
15:08
line a beer line was so long
15:10
and the coke line was three
15:13
times his line so my dad
15:15
says you're drinking a fucking beer I am
15:17
he's like yeah I'm like all right don't
15:22
tell your mom but I'm not waiting that fucking coke
15:25
beer you're gonna get a beer here drink it it's
15:27
fine so I remember he gave
15:29
me the beer and I remember watching the launch
15:31
and I think I think I saw three launches
15:33
yeah yeah that was so loopy and
15:36
I did I kept you know are you okay I'm saying I
15:38
don't like this stuff it's not very good and I get home
15:40
and I my mom's like how was the launch I'm like I
15:42
think it was great I got drunk my dad what did you
15:44
think it drug you know now you know I threw
15:47
my dad on the bus you're not supposed to tell your mom you had
15:49
beer so yeah so that's my first
15:51
beer didn't at a launch at NASA I
15:54
do that's one of one yeah yeah pretty incredible
15:56
it was a it was a cool you know
15:58
growing up with my dad working I
16:01
think that's why maybe probably got some of
16:03
my creative side
16:06
of me from my father
16:08
being an engineer and being
16:10
creative. He made things at
16:12
NASA that were instrumental
16:15
too that still work
16:17
today, the clamps that hold the 747
16:19
onto the shuttle so
16:21
they could transport it from California. He made
16:24
the little clamp to hold it that released
16:26
it too. I remember him stressing over that
16:28
one day at work at home. I said,
16:30
what are you making? I got a goddamn
16:33
clamp or it's going to
16:35
be heavy enough to hold the shuttle
16:37
and it's got the shuttle off the
16:39
747. I'm like, I'm just making
16:42
spaghetti if you want to come help me. I'm
16:44
making some doodles. That's
16:47
awesome. So you grow up with
16:49
a space engineer. Yeah. And then
16:51
my mom was the fun one. She had a tennis
16:53
shop and so I played tennis and she
16:56
had more free spirit and
16:59
so it's fun. So
17:01
then fast forward again to
17:03
the oyster shucking couple. So
17:06
they give you the spark. You get back in.
17:09
Was it like you're obviously
17:11
performing? I'm assuming you're touring. Was it
17:13
like a TV spot that really kind
17:16
of blew everything up or did it
17:18
kind of… Well, I
17:20
mean I had a weird… I have an interesting kind
17:23
of study story with my career because a
17:25
lot of people get like a show and
17:27
they become that way. I
17:32
always did it… They call it grassroots in a sense
17:34
where there's a lot of bands that
17:37
do this. They're touring bands and they're
17:39
grassroots marketing and they just hit
17:41
the country worldwide and they didn't particularly
17:43
do a TV show or even have
17:46
a hit on the radio. But
17:48
they're popular so I was kind of in
17:50
the sense part that, part not. I was
17:52
hitting so many college campuses and doing all
17:54
these colleges, I'd do like two a day.
17:56
Two a day? Yeah, two
17:58
a day. One in the morning. at their cafeteria
18:00
and then one at their evening at their night
18:02
at their like arena. Wow.
18:05
And then the next morning go to the next college and I'm like Notre Dame
18:07
and UCLA and Ohio State and you
18:09
name every college I probably hit
18:11
twice. So I had this kind of cult
18:16
following in a sense with the college
18:19
peep kids and I mean we'd go to a town at
18:21
their college and it would be like jam. And
18:24
then I would get a call and say hey you want
18:26
to do Regis and Kathie Lee or
18:29
the Sonicshia. So I would go on Regis and Kathie Lee
18:31
which is like 90 year old ladies.
18:34
I would do my show and then they loved it
18:36
and then the people at college would be like well
18:38
we saw him at our college and then I'd do
18:40
the Sonicshia and that'd be more like middle America. So
18:43
I was kind of hitting and then I had a show
18:45
on the Cartoon Network. So I was kind of hitting every
18:47
demographic almost at the same time where people
18:49
were like oh I saw him on my college show.
18:51
Oh I saw him on the Sonicshia. I saw him
18:53
on an AT&T commercial. So
18:56
it became just kind
18:58
of everywhere. One
19:02
particular show I think really made
19:04
me go. It
19:07
was all of the combination of all those shows. Yeah. It
19:10
was just that momentum that you were doing.
19:12
Right. It wasn't a particular sitcom
19:14
or show. I mean doing the tight shows and
19:16
all those other shows were very helpful
19:18
because they were late night shows and back then they
19:21
had a lot of the greatings. I
19:24
would argue that's essentially what people
19:26
are doing the same thing now. It's just like
19:28
the internet exposes you to a lot of young
19:31
people. Sure. Absolutely.
19:33
It's funny because I was just
19:36
watching some interviews you had
19:38
done and I pulled
19:40
up two comments that I
19:42
thought were funny and some
19:44
were cool. But this
19:47
one, this guy came to my college canvas
19:49
back in 1994 and was the funniest comic
19:51
I've ever seen. He blew everyone away. When I
19:53
would go through the comments, this
19:55
was that Rogan clip. 4,000
20:00
comments there and a lot of them are
20:03
recounting like you Coming
20:05
to their college. No cool. Yeah, and I thought
20:07
it was pretty like amazing how many people remembered
20:09
you and they had very like detailed Stories like
20:11
oh, I was here and oh, yeah. Yeah, and
20:14
there's usually just they're all plastered drunk I don't
20:16
know if they remember that yeah, yeah, I remember
20:18
anything This
20:21
one I thought was kind of interesting. I'm
20:23
on my fifth caretop video And
20:26
I'm starting to really like this guy. So it took five videos
20:31
All right, yeah He
20:34
really got the shit of it his whole
20:36
career and he's still in there there's ever
20:38
going to be an advocate for Bull
20:40
for bullies for victims of bullying. It
20:42
will be carrot top. Yeah, okay.
20:45
This is the part I thought was super interesting if
20:48
he was ever put into war he'd be the guy
20:50
you want in your platoon He
20:52
would have many skills to think of ways to
20:54
fool the enemy and he'd be so loyal to
20:56
those who had his back All
20:59
right. I thought those are roundabout way of
21:02
just trying to pay you a compliment. Yeah, I guess yeah I
21:04
guess they're thinking that I would have some some
21:06
maneuvers some way with some proper something to protect
21:08
us and go at the enemy
21:11
Yeah, yeah, hopefully that would happen I
21:14
would be Love
21:16
me. Yeah, I would probably protect you if you
21:18
like me the first time around. Yeah, it took
21:20
five times Yeah, yeah, you're
21:23
not in my platoon. Yeah, I guess five battles
21:25
then it would take yeah Yeah, yeah for you
21:27
to be on his you
21:29
know his favorite list But yeah, man, you
21:32
know, I thought it was interesting how you kind of called out
21:34
in your career You know when people would give you flack or
21:36
whatever, you know You
21:38
would finish doing a big show and then
21:40
you'd see someone giving you shit and you'd
21:42
like wrestling with that juxtaposition I think I
21:45
would say a lot of people I
21:48
think in entertainment now Like
21:51
I don't know it may maybe feel differently But when
21:53
I hear you speak about these things, I almost feel
21:55
that you were charting a lot of
21:57
waters that I think people experience now Or
22:00
when someone gets kind of well known on the
22:02
internet, not for a huge dong but maybe
22:04
for something else, you know, they
22:08
get this weird like imposter syndrome. And I'll talk
22:10
to people and they'll be like, oh, I put
22:12
something out. A lot of people like it but
22:15
I see people making fun of it or I see people, you know,
22:18
in disagreement with it. I
22:21
guess like as a young guy
22:23
going through that, did
22:25
you – what were those moments like
22:27
where you kind of had to block that out and keep doing your
22:29
thing? Yeah, that's exactly kind of what
22:31
I did. I would
22:33
just – I would like go back
22:36
as something as silly as to consider
22:38
the source, you know. Yeah, yeah, I
22:40
remember saying that. But I would
22:42
just think, wait a minute, I was talking
22:44
to George Carlin yesterday and he was
22:46
telling me how funny I am and then
22:49
I got this Yahoo and some
22:51
internet site saying that I'm
22:54
a piece of junk and worthless and
22:56
a hack and whatever and
22:58
not funny and just whatever.
23:00
And I'd say, oh,
23:03
you had to wait and find to block that out
23:05
and just go think of the George Carlin and that's
23:08
kind of what you did, you know. Thank God I
23:10
had so many positive people over
23:14
the negatives because you know what, that's usually another thing
23:16
too. I mean, I've got a lot
23:18
of love. I mean, that's why I've been doing this so long.
23:21
I have the show and we're still jamming out the
23:23
show so if no one was coming to
23:25
the shows anymore and it was not – then I
23:27
would start thinking, oh, maybe they're right. But
23:30
it's still jamming and you're still doing it and so
23:32
you just – I've always kind of just kept to
23:35
my own thing. I always thought even way, way back
23:37
when I was young, I would say,
23:39
I'm not going to worry about other
23:41
comics, you know, what they're doing because I
23:43
have to do my act anyhow. So everything
23:45
I did in my
23:47
act was something I thought of and
23:49
I never even stopped once to think what the
23:51
other guy was doing. I barely ever watched other
23:53
comics because I was preparing to do mine. And
23:56
if I did see a comic that was funny, I would say, God, in
23:59
fact, that was funny. And I
24:01
had many, many friends. There were thousands of
24:03
friends that are comics that we were like best
24:05
of friends and we all dig
24:07
each other's act and everyone's different styles
24:09
and that's what makes it funny. I
24:11
mean sitting in a room with a
24:13
lunch table with all comics is priceless.
24:17
I mean everyone's got their own little shtick and
24:19
their mood and their thing and everyone
24:21
makes you laugh. But that's
24:23
how you go through it. You take all the love and you don't
24:25
work. You filter out the other. You've got
24:27
to filter out the hate. Because
24:29
there's always going to be that. If
24:32
everyone loved Caratop it wouldn't be any fun. You've
24:34
got to have a little bit of... But
24:37
there's more love than there's hate. Yeah I was going to say. If
24:39
I have a joke where a joke doesn't do well and it's kind
24:42
of meant to be just
24:44
so I can do the Carson-ish
24:46
kind of thing. Just so the
24:48
joke bombs I can do this kind of look and
24:50
I do this thing. Everybody always says the
24:52
funniest part of the show is when a joke doesn't
24:54
work and you do this thing. I said yeah because I
24:56
only do it like twice. The whole
24:58
show is that. It's
25:00
not funny. The show has to be funny and you
25:03
have that one moment or two where you've got to
25:05
dig on yourself for a not joke. You know a
25:07
joke not working. But for the most part the most
25:09
should work. Hey guys we
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26:14
Yeah, I was going to say I think at a point it's probably
26:16
not, I
26:20
wouldn't say easy, but it's reasonable that
26:22
if you're continuously getting a lot of
26:24
love, you can... ...you
26:27
can convince yourself, I can trust this and
26:30
I don't have to listen to this other stuff. And
26:32
I mean if people keep showing up to see you,
26:35
how right can the people be who are always
26:37
trying to take the chunk out of you? They
26:40
almost need you there. Yeah, I
26:42
just think it's, I mean the length of
26:45
your career is like, it's fucking awesome man,
26:47
it's just super impressive. The length of my
26:49
penis too. Yeah, let's not forget. Don't
26:51
go back to that again, but I'm sorry, I had to. I
26:55
have it on loop, so it's hard for me to get it out of my mind. We all do. Yeah.
27:01
Yeah, dude. It
27:04
seems like you still love it though. My penis? Yeah.
27:08
I love, I love, absolutely, I love this job more
27:10
than anything in the world and I find it to
27:13
be, because everyone says to me like, dude, when are
27:15
you going to retire and when are you going to
27:17
get... Like you still have fun
27:20
and I don't know how, yeah, I have more fun
27:22
now than I, and I don't know
27:24
the exact, one that I maybe just wonder you
27:26
realize you, you, you just
27:28
kind of got into a rhythm and you kind of know what you're
27:30
doing so you feel a little better. Yeah. Because
27:33
I did tell George Carlin that one time. I asked
27:35
him as an idiot, I didn't know what
27:37
he, I just said, what's it like to
27:39
be you where you got it all, like you got it.
27:41
Yeah. And he said,
27:44
what are you talking about? And I said, you know,
27:46
you're like, you're George Carlin, you don't go up there and
27:48
like, you're like, you, you, you kill it every night because
27:50
you're, you're, you're a polished pro. It must be nice to
27:52
have that feeling when you go up there that you're just
27:54
going to nail it again. And he said, I ain't like,
27:56
shit, I don't know, I'm still learning every day, I don't,
27:58
I even know what you're talking about. talking about. So pardon
28:01
me, I think he meant, you know, he's
28:03
just a perfectionist but I think it probably is nice to
28:05
have a, I mean I do go up
28:07
there now with a pretty good, I know of my
28:09
flow and my outline of where I'm gonna go and
28:12
what's gonna, you kind of, I mean
28:14
you don't bomb anymore, you can't,
28:17
it's kind of bound proof. So
28:19
you know how to do the show, you know, how
28:22
to take every crowd in beginning to end. You might have
28:24
one that just, you know, last week we had one that
28:26
the crowd wouldn't so hot but we've made fun of the
28:28
fact that the crowd wasn't so hot. Then
28:31
the crowd was great, like you just had to
28:33
work them around. You got to take a two
28:35
to a ten. Yeah. You just don't take a
28:37
ten to a two. Yes. That's what
28:39
you don't want to do. Yeah. They were so good and
28:41
then I fucked it up. Yeah. I was gonna do it
28:43
again. I'm like very familiar
28:46
taking a two to a ten. Yeah, you
28:48
can do it. Yeah. Yeah. So how many
28:52
days a week do you perform now?
28:55
Six. Yeah. My manager has a car payment
28:57
so I have to work. Yeah, we got to make sure. Yeah,
28:59
Ferraris man, they don't pay themselves.
29:03
I'm not a Ferrari guy. No, no. I'm
29:06
a pickup truck guy. Yeah, I mean I'm a
29:08
trucker hat and this is me dressed up by
29:10
the way. Yeah. You make your clothes. I like
29:12
to look homeless so people don't ask me for
29:14
money. That
29:16
guy's broke. He's a good strategist. Yeah. They never
29:18
asked me. That guy doesn't have a fucking dime.
29:20
No. Yeah. No strangers and no family. They want
29:23
to come after you. Yeah. You dress broke, no
29:25
one ask you for anything. Yeah. But
29:27
you make your clothes. Is that right? I do. I mean
29:29
I'm almost everything I kind of if I don't
29:31
make full of it, I will add two or
29:33
yeah or do something like I've added the patch
29:36
on the front or I'll add this or add
29:38
something some paint and do something to it. Yeah.
29:40
Kind of make it mine. Yeah. That thing
29:43
is cool man. So you're doing six nights a
29:45
week and I'm sure this you
29:47
know I'm partially digging into this because again
29:49
I want everyone
29:51
listening to this to kind of get the full scope
29:53
of you and you've
29:56
been doing that how many years now roughly? Sure
30:00
in Vegas and yeah about 30 something
30:02
years. Okay, okay, so 30 some and
30:06
Just done them still performing out there. No, I
30:08
think he comes in and out in and out He
30:10
does it but got it. He's not there full-time. I
30:12
don't believe Miss somebody
30:14
shows that you know, that's nothing that's changed with
30:16
Vegas You know when I first started doing that's
30:19
what I wanted to ask you is how is
30:21
like I guess because I would imagine in the
30:23
crowds you would see a change or like yeah
30:25
You know what I guess what was
30:27
it like when you first started and what do they feel
30:29
like now? It's it's it's
30:32
completely different. I'll tell you I mean them
30:34
still There's still awesome
30:36
audiences, but yeah The
30:38
times have changed and the things in the number of shows
30:40
and playing it sounds weird though Like
30:42
when I started it was before MGM Grand was built. So
30:44
there was like There's
30:46
no New York New York with a Bellagio. There's
30:48
no wind. There's no encore. Yeah, so there was you
30:51
know, Caesar's Bally's a
30:53
few other ones and that was it so there on
30:56
any given night. There's probably a
30:58
dozen shows doesn't showrooms and
31:01
now there's 100
31:03
showrooms. Yeah, maybe yeah, so
31:06
all everything in that aspect has changed
31:08
you just the growth and the and the number of Shows
31:12
that are there and the kind of shows are there, you
31:14
know when I was there too when I first started They're
31:16
like Vegas and like then that's where you go to like,
31:19
you know retire, right? No, I
31:22
said no, that's Branson bitch And
31:28
here Branson's were you but Not
31:32
off by Vegas, you know So
31:34
I said Vegas is not that are you talking about
31:37
this? Yeah, Vegas is like, you know, Wayne Newton and
31:39
I kept thinking I know but I still thought it
31:41
was a cool aspect to it And then all of
31:43
a sudden I mean within the last ten years It
31:47
was like Elton John. Well Celine was probably the first one
31:49
that made a big Celine Dion came and That
31:52
was huge. Yeah, I mean and we had a joke
31:54
when she's working. She's Celine Dion and she's not she
31:57
Celine D off Yeah, but um, she
31:59
had She had this big
32:01
thing and then they got Elton
32:03
John and they got Rod Stewart and they got
32:06
the Rolling Stones and the Eagles and
32:08
Kiss and then all of a sudden Everyone
32:11
wants to play Vegas. Yeah, and so, you
32:14
know, you go there. I'll be back there
32:16
today You go be flying and then you
32:18
got everyone from Usher to you
32:20
know, carry Katy Perry to I mean everybody Yeah,
32:22
so it went from you know, no one wanted
32:24
to play Vegas to being in kind of a
32:26
no, I need I need to play Vegas Did
32:29
you did you have feelings about that like because you were one
32:31
of the same for I stayed through thick and thin Yeah, yeah,
32:33
well, I always had a feeling like from the beginning. I thought
32:35
I was a great gig. I mean You're
32:38
in Vegas and you're not just a aspect
32:40
of idea of not traveling Was
32:43
also nice as well, you know, you'd stay in your
32:45
instead of getting on a bus in a hotel you
32:47
stay in your own room Yeah, do
32:49
a show and you go home. Yeah, that's very
32:52
rare in the show business Some
32:54
oh You know, how many bus
32:57
tours do you think you've done in your career? Oh my god,
32:59
we Thousands
33:01
I mean that's all I did. I turned
33:03
down the Vegas gig in the
33:05
beginning because I was a bus guy Yeah, and
33:08
they kept asking me if I did the residency and I said
33:10
no and the guy finally came back and
33:12
said, you know It was the rethink this year. I said no
33:14
I don't want it And
33:17
then my guy says I think we should do it. I'm
33:19
like, well, I'll give it like a year I'll give a
33:21
year and then I'll try it. Yeah, I hated it. Yeah
33:24
Like despised it and like
33:26
I'm definitely not signing up again So it was the
33:28
years over and then all sudden I found a little
33:30
click and it was like
33:32
kind of getting good and
33:35
then I said, yeah, let's sign
33:37
again and Now
33:39
it's like of course I did we just signed again
33:41
for six years. So now it's you know, it's it
33:43
now it's a please Let me sign again. Yeah, I
33:45
think you know, I don't want to go back on
33:47
the road. Yeah. Well, yeah I
33:49
definitely cannot hold a candle to the amount of bus towards you
33:51
have done but They were fun and but
33:54
you know So you putting your life in danger to every night.
33:56
When you get you know, you don't even think about it You
33:58
know, you're on a tour bus. That on.
34:00
The. Mountain? Yes No. And you're letting some
34:03
guy you barely know drive you around and
34:05
will hurt me. Did we a bus drivers?
34:07
Don't? I don't have a neon rest. The
34:09
guys are all sleep is unknown when it's
34:11
you. I. Just as
34:13
shows always overlying lounge only the different
34:16
lines with while the drywall as bad
34:18
as everyday basis that every night and
34:20
with James over Yeah woman at my
34:23
little crown the rocks Yeah yes. But.
34:26
Not not any rule as we get too
34:28
crazy as those are you know those gonna
34:30
have a drink but that's but that that
34:32
yen on the unless someone put some the
34:34
in my during this am. I
34:36
disturb scam a drink and I said the
34:38
medicine like country music in does whatever and
34:41
drive down the road. Yeah and now I'm
34:43
talking to the driver. He says you know.
34:46
As he drove everybody right So he said
34:48
you know nice drug Johnny Cash I said
34:50
oh my God had to give my Johnny
34:53
cast it Fucking Fss Rock! I'm driving driving
34:55
Carrot Top image of Zoc and Johnny Unitas
34:57
best Am sorry about this. I'm sorry that
34:59
your career ending and he said no this
35:01
is Gray did you the best You like
35:04
some advice but I was Draven Johnny We
35:06
do rails off the fucking stairwell and ups
35:08
and am literally like listening to me say
35:10
this were driving I'm Mike How many years
35:13
ago that is a oh God years as
35:15
it won't be. You know any more like
35:17
you know these that no no no like
35:19
you don't do lines any more of this
35:22
hug from the Oh Yes magazine That is
35:24
So I I good some eyeglasses delivered zigzag
35:26
from minute intervals. Ssssss Exeter that you're not.
35:28
It was a drug as as Gaia Fff
35:30
every one we want to take a quick
35:33
break to thing sponsors Today's episode Better Help
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help.com/tmz. You. Have bus drivers
36:42
their of. Their. An interesting
36:44
read: Yes, Aiken and everyone of that.
36:47
I had their they know they can
36:49
they can see that movie. Awesome powers
36:51
when he does the the same with
36:53
La. Heart yearns around that away. My.
36:56
Bus driver any of my bus drivers kids can
36:58
do that in a tour bus is one can.
37:00
We were locked in he said hold on Zagat.
37:03
And he he did that. That. Same that
37:05
he did not and hours in a bar
37:07
and I'm grover like to cite yeah and
37:09
why somebody to do that either I will
37:12
act up associate s and began it's a
37:14
does the line up the studio and get
37:16
as I get the of the employees i
37:18
don't look that way I see a now
37:20
give me a second like the other. Here
37:23
they always have really crazy story like that
37:25
Leon yeah well as drivers use like I
37:28
guess he drove Pantera around for almost their
37:30
entire career house there I'm so yeah so
37:32
then you take the run in there is
37:34
a very good as their of their band
37:36
know yeah I mean they're like party been
37:39
yes he only paul of he of us
37:41
that he he didn't get too into the
37:43
details was yeah he definitely alluded to they
37:45
have any kinda my show lot of times
37:47
he was big fan. I was going to
37:49
say when now that are like so you're
37:52
in vegas you sign. Up. Now. suddenly
37:54
everyone wants to be there i have
37:56
to imagine you've met some very like
37:58
impress supposed crazy here It's funny to
38:00
you fun for me like I people say you know
38:03
been in show business whatever you call it I think
38:05
I'm in show business. You're definitely a show. I would
38:07
say I'm in some I'm close to it If I'm
38:09
not in it, you're definitely in it You
38:12
get to meet people. That's probably the coolest thing. You
38:15
know you're backstage, and you're talking
38:17
to sting, and you're you know yeah
38:19
You're you're having a need just the
38:21
Queen yeah You know that was
38:23
probably the one of the pinch me moments with
38:25
it was would you ever? Like
38:29
do you have any rules like if someone like that is
38:31
in the crowd do you want to know or do you
38:33
just let it? That's funny you ask I used to I
38:35
used to not want to know okay And
38:37
and then I now and I want to
38:39
know because I don't get as nervous and worked up
38:41
about it as I used to Right so I would
38:43
say I like we had You
38:45
know when the sting came and shite claims
38:47
in the thing I said they
38:49
told me you know I said Thank you because I wanted
38:51
a one I wanted to kind of
38:53
miss what because I might have
38:55
a bit Yeah, so usually if
38:58
someone comes they're in the show regardless and
39:00
until they know it And
39:02
they usually are happy with it But you know
39:04
I twames in I and I did this bit before she
39:07
I'd ever met her and there's a
39:09
it's a whole It's all these songs. She sings
39:11
and I said every song is like a cheerleader
39:13
and you play there's like five six songs you
39:15
play it Don't don't don't don't don't don't let's
39:17
go girls and then the next song is it's
39:19
all all right Let's go, so it's
39:22
so funny in the show So I said I'm sitting in
39:24
my crew's like you know what he ended up the shine.
39:26
I think she's there I'm like fucking doing it. Don't you
39:28
mean what are you gonna do? Yeah? That's why we do
39:31
this yeah, so she's sitting right there, and I do
39:33
it all she just and the first line out is
39:35
a shine I 25 I'd hit that again and so
39:39
I hit this like kind of weird laugh from the crowd and then
39:42
And then her husband's kind of like after show that
39:44
she comes back, and she's like you hit that again
39:47
And I said yeah Hit
39:50
it again. I did yeah, and friends like you
39:52
can hit it again. I said yeah, so she
39:55
we became With that big
39:57
friends because I you know because I made fun of
39:59
the show and she just, I didn't call
40:01
her out either. I didn't tell her anybody she
40:03
was there. I just did the bit, not told
40:05
her, because she said, you could have said it.
40:07
I said, no one to let you enjoy your
40:09
night. But then it comes, we had Tony Orlando
40:12
last night. And he does
40:14
the tie yellow ribbon around the old. So,
40:16
you know, the whole, when I go into the audience to
40:18
do a little crowd work, I go through and I'm like,
40:20
what the fuck, Tony Orlando's here. And I play the song
40:23
and we have a little piece of yellow ribbon and I
40:25
fuck with the, I
40:27
fuck with the crowd.
40:30
So it becomes part of the whole show. So
40:32
you embrace it now. Queen was probably the coolest though,
40:34
because Queen came back there and they were
40:36
just like, you know, fuck, it's Queen,
40:38
right? Yeah. I was a little nervous, I
40:40
was not gonna lie, I was a little nervous. And
40:43
I have some Queen in my shows, a lot of Queen
40:45
songs, there's even a clip of one phrase, he says, fuck
40:47
you, to the crowd. I do this whole
40:50
show and then afterwards, you know, they come back and
40:52
I'm like, oh my God, Queen's in my dressing room.
40:55
And the
40:57
drummer Roger says, Scott, that was just, God
41:00
damn, that was funny, right? I
41:02
said, oh, thanks, Jesus, no, no, no, no, how do you
41:04
fucking do that? He says, great. And
41:06
Brian May stand there and he's like, they both just
41:08
are like in awe, right? And it was very sweet
41:10
of them though, they were just like, they wouldn't stop
41:13
talking. And Brian is really, he knew
41:15
like every little, he said, and that thing, the part that
41:17
you did with the thing, the video came in, how did
41:19
that, how did you do that? And I'm
41:21
like, wow. And they go to leave and
41:23
he says, I
41:26
hate to do this to you, but is it okay if
41:28
I come back tomorrow? Wow. And I
41:30
said to my show, I said, you
41:33
don't have to come back to my show anymore. He was
41:35
going to, my son is flying in tonight and if it's
41:37
okay, I wanna bring him back, I
41:39
wanna bring him tomorrow. And I thought, absolutely,
41:42
but I mean, you know, are you sure you
41:44
wanna do that? Yeah. And he
41:47
said to my assistant on the
41:49
way out, he says, We'll
41:51
get y'all hooked up. And I Overheard him say, I guess
41:53
I gotta come back and make sure this wasn't for, this
41:55
was for real. Wow. He Didn't believe it. I mean, the
41:58
show was so good and so tight. He's like. See
42:00
this again. wow then he could then he told
42:02
me the next day's as yeah I actually wanted
42:04
to see exec and i didn't believe it was
42:07
a really this yeah I'm used to good so
42:09
like okay then he came back since spoken bloody
42:11
mais year. But. He added
42:13
a good no one little you know I had
42:15
of one little one like trump thing one thing like
42:17
in does he knew exactly they go The trump thing
42:20
was new some. Just.
42:22
To that you didn't and will this affect. Society
42:26
also be like is Hillary did. to do
42:28
to do to trump is gotta lean up.
42:31
Like that right is be
42:33
mad sis. My is madness.
42:35
This and most things scout.
42:38
Know you hate me right? Yeah and it is
42:40
Does decide to say a thing as I guess
42:43
they don't have carved. No one had car bidding.
42:45
I made carpeting a good and make them. did
42:47
it ever carpet. There is never chairs. Before I
42:49
was president was only person would tables. Dylan had
42:52
tables. remember they did news today but there's no
42:54
glasses. And you like know
42:56
their newest but no no one said no and set.
43:00
Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up.
43:02
I did it off as. You're
43:05
not the first. What? you hadn't first,
43:07
why. And I am the greatest. Ever is
43:09
he seen care? Top deck is better than
43:11
as d Always talk like this because I
43:13
feel I know it seems like a mean
43:15
came over here for yeah like I have
43:17
a cat a big to serve again picture
43:19
of your luggage or started out that way
43:21
to as erase it assorted grown as is
43:24
leavers dissenters longer like is it was a
43:26
zoom as a guy didn't know he he
43:28
he honed in on his performance is the
43:30
answer Will people were young age gonna make
43:32
caricature of himself he'll probably I think probably
43:34
will as the i don't go back to
43:36
look at my clubs and me do I
43:38
probably. Have
43:40
evolved that well. We won't go
43:42
back. A good change. The magazines
43:45
idealism that fingernails on a chalk
43:47
more listening to myself and know
43:49
not everybody And in I'm on
43:51
Arsenio Hall's show Him. As
43:54
a tablet. nothing on it in. As.
43:56
He gets. You know, I think the coolest
43:58
thing that. I guess
44:00
that I hear just in the forty minutes.
44:03
who is taught So far as. It
44:05
doesn't seem like. At. Any.
44:08
Level. Of career like. Anyone
44:10
ever feels like. I'm.
44:13
Or. Yeah I'm on set as insert a
44:15
like you always still have a party or
44:17
brain it's like is as good. And
44:19
do people like this? I think that's
44:21
probably the kiss of death for every
44:24
every every artist I think Cs and.
44:26
Because. You never know what's the next. The Lg
44:28
can't live off the next. The for the last
44:30
thing you did is that it's like the shows.
44:32
it's like you know this the other night we
44:35
had a week on the road show so ago
44:37
and it was the means is erode. shows are
44:39
using. Really route rowdy
44:41
and loud. and Sundays view like a
44:43
rock star. Yeah, and Vegas shows can
44:45
be but you can also be, you
44:47
know, They. Could is
44:50
be a show for the lot of tourists
44:52
a right there's been some amazing says bed
44:54
that amazingness am shows wouldn't as a real
44:56
but the other night we had our own
44:58
two three and a road that we just
45:00
we can massive second Raymond said of was
45:03
us and we need roadshow yeah they make
45:05
him oven for the ambitious with Did Rojo
45:07
I said i need can't predict down why
45:09
does happens it is The crowd was just.
45:12
Over a year electric and that which makes you'd
45:14
dance or more years we're like is is a
45:17
dance that you get up there with. When you're
45:19
good, near good it is. It's like. It's
45:22
golden. Yeah, every comic know that any in
45:24
any profession. Actually you sound you get an
45:26
erroneous on girls. Yeah damn. I'm selling Ten
45:28
Guards League that has had a rhythm. Yeah
45:31
so it was runs in jail and comedy
45:33
book. but it's But when you get those
45:35
moments and then insert southeast of the gun
45:37
at him, I'm I'm really. I. I think
45:40
I finally got some really good. I feel
45:42
like that dance his word escapes people when
45:44
they watch Stand Up. And. I.
45:47
Feel that. Tells. You all
45:49
the others feel on or Rcp will
45:51
say online like alec stand up around
45:53
on Canada thing stance kind of this
45:55
and I think. People. Especially
45:58
young people. Now they cause see standup. The.
46:00
Weird. Way worse. As like. Being. A
46:02
little clips of crowd work and they are. Why do
46:04
people like this and I feel like people they don't
46:07
know and people tell me that by the whale time
46:09
am a comic, the measure hates them with them. Yeah,
46:12
I. Always find that funny but them and I
46:14
my oh geez hims of you don't like
46:16
the I do i hate what you do
46:18
and I go like what need me personally
46:20
or just noticed com and in general is
46:22
mike of the day or deathly know come
46:24
to my show here here here but you
46:26
have evolved on like a can or the
46:28
or you know that be does brilliancy of
46:30
a know incomes it means as they will
46:32
like me but what they'll say is. I.
46:35
Never. Liked. You. But.
46:37
Now I love you like thousand. Seriously
46:40
they they do I guess not as many times
46:42
now these but I a lot of your life
46:44
you the just they just didn't know they did
46:46
doubted that they just use a carrot top B
46:49
C meets the image the name in law they
46:51
go know yes and then they come the show
46:53
or they meet you know like oh my god
46:55
this is really this is like know I know
46:57
nothing that I thought it would be like wasn't
47:00
what he does a good the they go nothing
47:02
like this year that the shell is. Move.
47:04
A different than what anything. Bravo that
47:06
you have a course. it's it's. Macys
47:09
sit the shown Vegas, his family. Seventy
47:12
percent stand up. Yes, And
47:14
most people think that it's one hundred
47:16
percent or up. Yes! So it started
47:19
out in the beginning it was all
47:21
props and a little bit of sand
47:23
them but now it's I tell stories
47:25
from my half hour ride on Pick
47:27
Up. One thing clear the whole story
47:29
but my father work at Nasa he
47:31
goes on for about thirty minutes. Yes,
47:33
Devolution of Comedy Remote and George Carlin
47:35
In and Gallagher Emily's People That is
47:37
a backshall story That and people even
47:39
let us know your as the early
47:41
last night in the Came Back say
47:43
said I love all the Dead storytelling.
47:45
yeah and it is kind of evolved into
47:47
that because i've been doing this for so
47:49
long i finally got i got comfortable finally
47:51
does telling a story yes i was also
47:53
nervous as tell a story gives you one
47:56
that the last every second course so now
47:58
it's fun to do like and eight-minute
48:00
story and then get a big laugh, but you
48:02
got to wait eight minutes for it. Yeah. So
48:05
you're like, fucking better get, I better, I better not
48:07
mess this up because they're waiting for this big thing.
48:09
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
48:12
Hey guys, we want to take a quick break
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Terms apply. In the beginning when people
49:48
kind of hit you with this like, ah, I
49:50
thought you were this, but it was amazing. Did
49:53
you appreciate that honesty or would it mess
49:56
with you a little bit? Well, it always messed with me.
49:59
I told Albert Brooks one time and
50:01
and his genius he
50:04
was on the Tonight Show and he
50:07
came out and he said he did something with some like
50:10
something on the desk it was like a little trick
50:13
or did something and Carson laughed and
50:16
he says thank God that's not your whole act because
50:19
something happened at the guard and
50:22
now what Brooks says to Johnny Carson he
50:24
says God just imagine imagine booking Caratop and
50:28
American Airlines loses his luggage he
50:30
hasn't he doesn't have shit right
50:33
so I'm watching this on and
50:35
I remember exactly where I was I was on a tour we
50:37
just did doing this big like arena yeah
50:39
at a college and he just killed and we were
50:42
watching it on TV on the bus and I
50:44
was like what the fuck and I was so mad
50:46
I was
50:49
so mad because what he
50:51
said was true yeah so
50:54
I'm like if the
50:56
Rolling Stones luggage was lost they wouldn't have a
50:58
fucking act yeah of course so it made
51:00
no sense that he's ripping on me even
51:02
Caratop lost his luggage he was fucked well
51:04
so if the Rolling Stones or Nirvana or
51:07
anyone else yeah anybody if the
51:10
airlines loses your shit you're probably fucked too but
51:12
he just singled me out so like
51:15
that that was bullshit so then
51:17
I get to meet him at Gary
51:19
Shandling's funeral and all places there he is
51:21
and I walked up to him I said
51:24
I got a beef with you and you know Al Brooks is
51:26
like oh my god I got to get a video of this
51:28
Caratop has a beef with me I can't
51:31
wait to hear and I said no it's just you you
51:33
I said I tell him the story he goes oh my
51:35
god I am the I am the worst
51:37
person in the plan I did do that I did say that and
51:40
you are correct and I said I know I'm correct that's
51:42
what I'm telling you like everyone could you know if you
51:44
lost your luggage you wouldn't have anything and he says I'm
51:46
sorry can I can we hug it out and he hate
51:48
me he says I'm saying you know
51:50
we're best friends yeah he says how well did
51:53
you know Gary I said
51:55
you know well enough that I got invited he
51:57
says yeah He
52:00
didn't like people very much and I said no he didn't. He
52:02
says, is it kind of shocking that so many people here,
52:04
he would hate this. I said he's
52:07
funny again but
52:09
I just had to set that straight with him. I'm
52:11
like yeah, you know, of course, why
52:13
pick on me? You took
52:16
the words out of my mouth because I was going to ask if you
52:18
ever had like an awkward run in
52:21
hashing it out with someone. Oh, I had a couple. You
52:23
know, that one was, yeah, that one
52:25
it was just, there's been a comment too that
52:30
people said that don't know the
52:32
truth of it. Like
52:35
when our buddy,
52:37
a very, very funny comedian
52:39
passed away, does
52:43
the clip of me and chairman of the board, he was on Conan.
52:46
Norm McDonald, thank you. And Norm
52:49
and I were great friends. And I know when I say great
52:51
friends, I said we were friends. We weren't great. I
52:53
said we weren't best of friends but we were great
52:55
friends. Like if I ever see him or saw him,
52:57
we always say, Gary, and Tom, and you say hi
53:00
but we didn't hang out. We did have
53:02
coffee once in a while actually. He
53:06
said, he said on Conan O'Brien one night and
53:08
it's such a famous clip because he sets him
53:10
up for it and he's picking on the poor
53:12
Courtney Thorne Smith who's on the movie. And it
53:15
was a good movie, chairman of the board. He's
53:19
like, God, he's going on and on about
53:21
it. So you quit friends
53:23
or what is it, Melrose Place? You
53:25
quit Melrose Place to go into movies
53:28
with Carrot Top? She goes, no, it was one
53:30
movie. And he's the nicest guy in the world
53:33
and he's actually a great actor. He's like, no,
53:35
but go back to this. So why would you
53:37
go do a movie with Carrot Top? She
53:42
kept trying to defend me. She's like, it was great fun.
53:44
It was a great movie. And he's a sweet guy. And
53:49
then he's just like, I just don't get it. And he wouldn't
53:51
let it go. And then Norma Donaldson,
53:53
he says, what was the name of the movie again?
53:56
And she says chairman of the board. And he
53:58
goes, oh, like B-O-R-E-D? Yeah. Conan
54:00
is losing his mind laughing and again. I'm
54:02
thinking bitch. We did that on the set. Yeah,
54:04
that's like We did when we were making
54:07
the movie we called it chairman of the board. Yeah
54:09
Yeah, but he thought that was the most today ever
54:11
I go people say oh my god Were you in
54:13
norm enemies cuz he really ripped
54:15
on you? I'm like no we weren't one more
54:17
comics and who's fucking joke Yeah, and it was
54:19
funny. We thought it was funny enough that we
54:21
wrote it, too Yeah So I've
54:24
only had a couple riffs with and it's
54:26
usually things that like like that one reason
54:28
people heard of heard Not the
54:31
source. Yeah, I had another comic one time that I
54:33
opened firm at a College
54:37
and they wanted me to do 20
54:40
minutes and this is at the time my career
54:42
where I had about eight minutes.
54:44
Yeah So I said and I'm
54:46
not kidding. I said I got I got about eight and
54:48
eight minutes I said about seven's good, but I can stretch
54:50
it to eight But you know don't know you're gonna be
54:52
honest with you and they said okay They were fine with
54:54
it because they didn't need to have that much time Right,
54:57
I said do even if you just do five I said five I
54:59
can do I can nail five so
55:01
I Get up there and
55:03
I'm I'm I do two Proper
55:06
maybe three do my crime watch thing. I opened
55:09
but the crime watched and that I was killed
55:12
And then I go grab this car It was like a car
55:15
that was in the shape of a ramp So
55:17
if you had a head on collision you jump it, right?
55:20
And and and I and everyone killed and I
55:23
put it in there This is thirty years ago.
55:25
I put it down and then I might I
55:27
look over the guys going like, you know wrap it up And
55:31
I'm thinking I'm like like wrap it
55:33
up like clothes because I only had done less than
55:35
a minute Yeah, and he's like no
55:37
no like rap so I I you fuck so I
55:39
I go to my closer Which
55:42
was this paper cups and string
55:44
phone? Yeah, and
55:46
it was a you know, hello, what's going
55:48
on? You fit, you know the cups and string phone. I
55:50
said I made it I made a new one for today's
55:52
kids that had a call waiting in it So I say
55:54
hold on have another call. Hello, and another cup would come
55:56
out and then I'd have three
55:59
cups and coffee calling and I had
56:01
a clear cut for caller ID and I can see you
56:03
but that was my big closure
56:05
and it killed and
56:07
so that's when George Carlin country and
56:09
said that's funny shit right there so
56:12
I do I do I do that
56:14
and then the comedian comes out and
56:16
he whispers leave your shit because
56:19
I was gonna move it because I didn't want him to stand it
56:21
was you know he's leave your shit
56:23
so I'm alright so I go into
56:25
the arena and I watched the whole the whole
56:27
set and he wasn't doing well and he
56:29
was just he was in a bad mood and he
56:32
kept he kept kind of looking
56:34
down at my props and
56:37
kind of kind of wanting to move them and scoot him
56:39
and fuck with him he's kind of just doing with his
56:41
foot like fuck and finally he picks
56:43
up this car and that had the ramp on
56:45
it and
56:47
he holds it up like no one's
56:49
laughing just holds it up and looks at the audience
56:52
like yeah this I came
56:56
all the way down like for this and I
56:58
he he one
57:00
makes that fun of it which is where could the killed
57:03
yeah and then he's like threw it down he didn't like
57:05
lay it down he can't do it down and the crowd
57:07
was like whoo they really
57:09
love me yeah young I was probably 19
57:11
yeah and I just done
57:13
three jokes and then he
57:15
went to paper cups and string and that was really
57:18
killer and he kind of went I
57:21
don't get it babe or ever and then the next
57:23
thing I know they
57:26
start to boo him like like oh
57:28
and he was like yeah because he's kicking my
57:30
props in the crowd like no
57:33
no no no the topper he
57:35
gonna be the topper is fine the topper
57:38
so I I come off and
57:40
I'm like well I was the pro so I came off
57:42
to say hi he wouldn't say hi he left and
57:45
about ten years goodbye of him ripping on me
57:47
in every show every show and
57:49
finally I'm here in LA and and and
57:52
I was staying at this hotel in the
57:54
elevator doors open and off
57:56
walk and I is this guy no
57:58
and I said Oh my god,
58:01
hey. And he was like, hey
58:03
Topper. And I said, no, we have to have a
58:05
talk. And he's like,
58:07
we do? No, this will be good. I said, no,
58:09
really. If you have just five minutes of your time,
58:11
I need to talk to you. And he's like, you
58:14
got about five. Okay, Topper, what is it? I said,
58:16
I want to set the record straight. What
58:18
happened? He says, I'll tell you before you tell me.
58:21
We were at University of Georgia. I said, nope. We
58:23
were at Wake Forest. So
58:25
you're already wrong. It was Wake Forest University. He
58:27
says, all right. Now what happened?
58:29
You went up and did 30 minutes. I said, there
58:31
you go. I did not. I did three props because
58:33
I didn't even have 30 minutes. I did three props.
58:36
I was supposed to do 20, 18 or something like
58:38
that, but I did three. And
58:41
he says, nope, you went long
58:43
and the guy that booked, he was so
58:45
mad. I said, no, that's not what happened. I
58:48
wasn't capable of going long. And
58:50
I wouldn't do that to you. I'm scared to death
58:52
to have the gig. I wouldn't have gone over my
58:54
time. I was scared even I could get to the
58:56
time. And then
58:59
you started kicking everything. He says, I
59:02
didn't kick it. He remembered, I didn't kick it,
59:04
babe. I said, whatever you did, you
59:06
made it bad for everybody. So
59:09
you owe me an apology. And
59:12
he said, I think
59:14
he said, let me think on it, babe. Okay.
59:18
And I sort of got it. And then I left
59:20
and I was like, really? Okay. And
59:23
it was David Spade one day and David
59:25
Spade knows this person real well. And he
59:27
comes walking in the corner and he says,
59:29
hey, I said, how do you know David?
59:32
I said, well, David and I
59:34
are friends. I said, David and I, you and I
59:36
should be friends too. And I said, David, he's not
59:38
my friend because he thinks that I went too long
59:40
at a, he got the college wrong and
59:42
the amount of time wrong that I did. And
59:45
he thinks like that. And David says, like, Carrot
59:48
Top doesn't have five minutes. How could you think
59:50
he would have, and he didn't know me. He
59:52
just said, Carrot Top doesn't have five minutes. And
59:54
I said, right. Not even now
59:56
do I have five minutes. So finally
59:58
it was like a trampoline. I think he said
1:00:01
all right truce and then I end up going
1:00:03
to a basketball game NBA basketball
1:00:05
all-star game in Vegas and they
1:00:08
put me in these seats and and I
1:00:10
had the like the best seats in them
1:00:13
in the arena I'm
1:00:15
a little ESPN people were behind me. I kept oh
1:00:17
god is like it's like It's
1:00:19
like ESPN guys. I go sorry
1:00:21
I got and then who comes
1:00:24
in sits right behind me my
1:00:26
friend and I said I I
1:00:29
Said this sucks, huh? And he said
1:00:32
he said it's okay, babe I said, you know I gotta
1:00:35
be I gotta I gotta know is it is it
1:00:37
that I'm sitting in front of you make you more
1:00:39
angry or my hair you can't see behind around it
1:00:41
and He
1:00:43
said no, it's that my son is your
1:00:45
biggest fan. Would you mind taking a picture with
1:00:47
him? And I said your son
1:00:50
is and he goes yeah, I said oh my god
1:00:53
Now that gotta be the worst part right? Let's just
1:00:55
take the picture I
1:00:57
gotta make your blood boy that your son loves me.
1:01:00
He says my son loves Carrot Tom So
1:01:02
I said, okay now I think my arm around him. I said,
1:01:04
you know, your dad hated me for years And
1:01:08
he think if this son is you know, funny, he's my
1:01:10
dad hates everybody That
1:01:13
hates me too. Don't you know get over it? But
1:01:16
we finally made up well, yeah, but it
1:01:18
was one of those things misunderstandings, you know
1:01:20
carrot I agree Psyche
1:01:22
is not here. This is the end of the
1:01:24
main episode if you want the
1:01:26
full bonus full extended episode You can get
1:01:29
that now team G studios TV Yeah,
1:01:32
no ads What
1:01:35
else can I tell you and you'll get 90 minutes
1:01:37
of me and me and big CT
1:01:39
big caretop big Thank you to caretop
1:01:41
big up carrot top big up team
1:01:43
G studios TV Thanks
1:01:46
for listening. We'll see you soon I've
1:01:51
never told oh, that's great. That's all I
1:01:53
mean ever Because
1:01:58
running always just He
1:02:00
says, he's got me fucking fired. It's just
1:02:02
a carrot. It's a single carrot. To
1:02:05
watch this extended cut and more,
1:02:07
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