0:00

In this video , we're going to be looking at the three

0:02

steps and how you can get your

0:04

confidence back after relationship trauma

0:06

and what you can do to start

0:08

feeling yourself again and

0:11

start achieving your goals . We

0:13

will also look at why it's so

0:15

hard to stop thinking about , analyzing

0:17

and talking about the difficult situation

0:19

and the difficult person , why

0:22

it's so hard to stop all these feelings

0:24

from keep popping up when you're trying

0:26

to move forward , and why is

0:28

it that this has had an impact on

0:30

your overall motivation for life . On

0:33

top of that , there is anxiety we

0:35

all have when . What

0:38

happens if this trauma

0:40

bond happens in a toxic relationship

0:43

where you lose your self-esteem

0:45

and you also

0:47

lose , you feel the emotional pain

0:49

should you wanna leave , including

0:53

this feeling and this belief . Maybe

0:56

I can't change my life moving forward In

0:58

light of all of this . This

1:01

is the ultimate guide on how you

1:03

can get started and heal so

1:05

you can get your confidence back . My

1:07

name's Dr Emman Kaur , and this is the video

1:10

I wish I could have had 10 years ago when

1:12

I first started to realize that the relationship

1:15

I was in was devaluing . For

1:17

a long time , psychologists have insisted

1:20

that positive thinking and positive

1:22

thoughts is the only way to

1:24

feel better . But now we know

1:26

that is partially true . There's

1:28

actually something deeper than thoughts . There's

1:31

an older , more instinctual

1:33

part of your brain that we must

1:35

explore if we wanna get our confidence

1:38

back after a toxic relationship

1:40

. And it's in these

1:42

research that we're

1:44

realizing that trauma and anxiety

1:47

work is showing that you're not

1:49

actually in control of some

1:51

of the things that you're thinking , feeling

1:53

and the ways in which you're reacting

1:56

when it comes to . You

1:59

know when your trauma is triggered

2:01

, because it's in the primitive part

2:03

of your brain that just kicks in and

2:05

you repeat these patterns that

2:07

you don't seem to have control of . And

2:09

what we're gonna do today is we're gonna pull it all

2:12

together , pull everything together that

2:14

we've learned so far , so you can really begin

2:16

to understand what you've

2:18

been through and what happens

2:20

when you get triggered . So

2:22

, look , I'm gonna assume

2:24

that you have been through some sort of difficult scenario

2:27

that was completely senseless

2:29

. It doesn't make sense why anyone would

2:31

want to treat you in the way that they did

2:33

, and if we can start

2:36

with that , it didn't make sense

2:38

. Yet it has left

2:40

you with an emotional wound it's

2:43

painful where you

2:45

felt less lovable than

2:47

before . That feeling

2:49

, that feeling , even if it wasn't

2:51

right , even if it was unjust , it

2:54

actually creates stress in our body . It

2:56

causes this feeling of threat because

2:59

we have that fear of abandonment

3:01

and rejection . We don't

3:03

know how to process

3:05

these emotions because it feels so

3:07

overwhelming like we're gonna be rejected

3:09

and understanding that this is

3:11

a primitive part of our brain , this is something

3:14

that we have felt we needed

3:16

to be part of the pack to survive

3:18

. So if

3:20

you have grown up in a way where you

3:22

were told you have to just ignore your

3:25

feelings or , being in this relationship

3:27

, you've just suppressed them and pretended

3:29

they're not there so you can be

3:32

okay and show everyone that you're okay

3:34

and just carry on , Then that

3:36

means these experiences are kind of

3:38

locked into your body , waiting

3:41

for a time where you can process

3:43

them . And if we can't process

3:45

the emotion , we don't feel

3:48

like we can feel emotions in

3:50

the same way as we used to and

3:52

we might feel more anxiety

3:54

than we used to . Things

3:57

like you know your breathing might change

3:59

, you might feel it in your throat , your

4:01

chest or your stomach area . When

4:04

you feel stressed , you might sweat more

4:06

than normal and you don't understand

4:08

what's really going on . You don't

4:10

feel as in control as you used to . We

4:14

need to understand that the brain

4:16

, when there's these stressful scenarios

4:18

of brain , registers it . Everything goes

4:20

into this amazing super brain

4:22

of yours and

4:24

what doesn't feel good to

4:26

you and what you

4:28

don't know how to process , it's

4:31

going okay . We'll store that in

4:33

the amygdala . This is a certain part of the

4:35

brain and we will try

4:37

and sort through that at

4:39

some point . But your brain is repeating

4:42

that over and over again in your head

4:44

because you're trying to think

4:46

about what happened

4:48

and why it would happen and make sense

4:51

of the emotional pain , because that's

4:53

probably what you're most

4:55

used to . You're probably really

4:58

good at analyzing things . You're probably

5:00

a good thinker , analyzer . You know

5:02

you like thinking intellectually but

5:04

you're not able to process the

5:06

emotion . So you're heavily reliant on

5:09

your emotional thinking . But

5:11

that is really avoiding

5:13

the feeling . You know thinking

5:16

about a feeling is still thinking

5:18

and trying to explain

5:20

how you feel is still

5:23

thinking . But

5:25

you need to learn how to soothe yourself

5:28

again , much like a

5:30

baby would know how to soothe

5:32

themselves . But

5:34

you know the issues have come because

5:37

you weren't allowed

5:39

to maybe soothe or

5:41

wasn't , nobody was there to help you soothe

5:43

and you were blamed for having emotions

5:46

or having emotional needs

5:48

, and we're not here to blame your

5:50

caregiver . They were

5:52

only able to give you whatever

5:54

they were able to give you based on what they

5:56

themselves knew and understood . But

5:59

if you have been in a toxic or difficult

6:01

relationship , there's been

6:04

a time in your life where you weren't heard

6:06

, you weren't understood and your emotional

6:08

needs weren't met . And in a lot

6:11

of the time maybe you made excuses

6:13

like it doesn't matter , I'm

6:16

stronger than this , you

6:18

know , I can handle it . It's

6:20

weak to have emotions . All

6:23

of this means that you're just storing

6:26

more and more in that

6:28

cupboard of trauma , if

6:30

you like , or the suitcase of trauma

6:32

, and then what happens is

6:34

you start thinking

6:36

more of why

6:39

this has happened and you'll

6:41

eventually come to this idea or

6:43

belief or meaning maybe

6:45

I'm not worth , worthy of

6:47

this . You know , and

6:49

that is almost a protection mechanism

6:52

or belief system to

6:54

avoid that feeling , because you can't

6:56

make any other sense of it and that's really

6:59

deep in the subconscious and

7:01

it kind of drives everything without

7:03

you knowing and you might know

7:06

. You might know that you're consciously

7:08

, you might know that , oh , I am worthy

7:10

of love . I've got so much to offer . You

7:13

know , so many people love me and all the rest

7:15

of it . But if you've been in a

7:17

toxic relationship because of that devaluation

7:20

phase , you will actually have

7:23

some sort of belief that you're not worthy

7:25

of love . And some of it might have

7:27

come from childhood , where

7:30

you weren't given the love that you

7:32

needed , and maybe you've made

7:34

an assumption as a small

7:36

child that you weren't worthy

7:38

of love . And as time

7:40

has gone on , you've just built up all these

7:43

emotions that you don't know how to process

7:45

. And what happens is the

7:48

more emotions that are

7:51

sort of built up

7:53

, they become like barriers for

7:55

you not being able to take on board

7:57

any new opportunities . It's

7:59

like fear . Am I worthy

8:01

of this success ? Am I worthy

8:04

of this ? You know it's like

8:06

this added fear . Is it ? Am I

8:08

? Because you're building up more

8:10

and more barriers over time ? So

8:13

over time , what happens is you basically

8:15

stops excelling in life the way you

8:17

use , so you stop living in the way you used

8:19

to . Now , so what are the three

8:22

steps in getting your confidence back ? Because

8:24

that's what we wanna really look at . Number

8:26

one is you have to follow

8:28

your life force , for

8:31

it is love . Yeah

8:33

, it is what you love . Is that feeling

8:35

of love Toxic relationships

8:38

at any difficult relationship or any type

8:40

of trauma or relationship trauma , you

8:42

know , be it that you've experienced

8:45

someone that's cheated on you . This

8:47

I mean . You know there's more research

8:49

coming out that actually that creates

8:51

PTSD . So

8:54

I think they've got a new frame

8:57

for it PISD . Yeah

9:00

, so you know it's a thing , it's

9:03

something that causes trauma and

9:06

what the problem is is that there's

9:08

so much devaluation in that

9:10

relationship . It's like I'm

9:13

not good enough . You know that devaluation

9:16

, of feeling not loved and

9:18

devalued , is huge . It

9:20

causes so much pain . It's

9:23

really no wonder that you would start to

9:25

feel less confident when you really

9:27

look at things . It's really about

9:29

being honest and open and

9:31

not so harsh with ourselves

9:33

. It's understandable that there would be less confidence

9:36

. There will be less feeling of

9:38

bringing value into the world because

9:41

someone has constantly devalued

9:43

us and sometimes it can get so

9:45

bad where we feel like , well , what's the point

9:48

of me even living ? I don't bring anything

9:50

to the table , there's no point in me

9:52

even being here , and we can start

9:54

to believe that we don't really add

9:56

any value . My life isn't that valuable . All I

9:58

live for is my children or I haven't

10:00

really got anything to offer , but

10:04

each of us are

10:07

so important . Honestly , Imagine

10:10

your life as like

10:12

this huge jigsaw puzzle and

10:15

every single piece is so

10:17

important . You are a piece of

10:19

the jigsaw puzzle and without

10:22

you it

10:24

would be incomplete . And

10:26

that's what we have

10:28

to really grasp is that

10:31

you are worthy and your shape

10:33

is so unique . It is only

10:36

you that can fit that space . And

10:40

when you know how

10:42

important you are I mean , just imagine

10:44

if there was one piece missing from

10:47

that jigsaw puzzle it makes a

10:49

huge difference to the overall Overall

10:52

. You make a huge difference

10:55

. You are here to contribute to

10:57

the overall , whether you know it or not , and

10:59

you have something so unique that only

11:02

you can do . What happens

11:04

in a difficult or toxic relationship

11:06

is that we stop believing

11:08

in our own uniqueness , we stop

11:10

believing in our own self

11:13

and we start comparing ourselves to others

11:15

and devaluing ourselves in our own

11:18

mind . The most important

11:20

person to see the value in

11:22

you is you . You're

11:25

the person that needs to see the value in

11:27

you so that you can truly

11:29

feel confident enough to

11:31

be you . And that process

11:34

of really allowing yourself to be

11:36

the unique self that you're meant

11:38

to be is when you can actually connect

11:41

with life and really feel good about

11:43

who you are and feel worthy

11:45

of living your life . It's like I

11:47

know I'm worthy because I'm

11:50

fitting in , because

11:53

you'll know you're being you and you

11:55

really feel connected to

11:57

everything in your

11:59

way . So when we're not allowing

12:02

ourselves to be ourselves so , for instance

12:04

, in a toxic relationship

12:06

or a difficult relationship

12:08

where we've been criticized or devalued

12:11

in any way or where we're losing

12:14

our confidence it's basically

12:16

when we're trying to squash ourselves

12:18

and change

12:20

our shape . That hurts , it's

12:23

painful and the problem

12:25

with that is it actually means

12:27

that our brain changes . It's

12:29

painful , it pumps out

12:32

. Our brain starts pumping out cortisol

12:34

, adrenaline because of the pain it causes

12:36

, the emotional pain , the

12:39

pain to your nervous system , the

12:41

thoughts that you're having all

12:43

of this and the disconnection

12:45

, the pain of being disconnected , the pain

12:48

of not being loved . You start to feel

12:50

weak . It's stressful and

12:52

your brain will start going over

12:55

and over again and again and again certain

12:58

things to try and make sense of it all , and

13:01

it's like it's going through a different

13:03

, a certain path every day

13:05

. It's the same old thoughts . It's

13:07

the same old thinking over and over again

13:10

, and what that is is

13:12

the brain has pathways

13:14

, so these

13:16

are called neural pathways , and

13:18

it's basically automatic thinking

13:21

. You automatically go down that path over

13:23

and over again . Every single time you get triggered

13:25

and sometimes you don't even know you're going down

13:27

there and before you know it , you're thinking

13:30

and you're feeling exhausted and it zaps

13:32

your energy and you might believe

13:34

that you can't heal

13:36

. And that's it . This is it

13:38

. You can't heal , and you actively

13:40

have to break that

13:43

thinking pattern and actively

13:45

change the brain . The

13:48

whole body needs to change and

13:50

shift so you can start to heal . But

13:53

before you can do that , the truth of the

13:55

matter is that you have to heal the

13:57

emotional pain , because your

13:59

thinking is trying to make sense

14:02

of the emotional pain . How

14:05

do we do that ? Well

14:07

, love . Love is

14:09

the most powerful healer there

14:11

is . You must keep following

14:14

what feels better

14:16

to you . That's how you get

14:18

your shape back . Yeah

14:21

, what is it that makes you feel better

14:23

right now ? What is it that gives you

14:25

relief ? For instance

14:27

, if I said to you look , I love

14:29

you , I accept you and I see

14:31

you and I hear you and

14:33

I love you and I believe in you

14:35

, just as you are . I know

14:38

there's a power in you and

14:40

I know you'll get through this and

14:42

I'll know you'll find a way , Just

14:44

follow what feels good . Follow

14:47

what feels good to let go or follow

14:50

. You know healing . Follow

14:52

whatever feels better , whatever

14:54

makes you feel better . Follow that and

14:57

avoid the things

14:59

that make you feel worse . Even

15:01

if it's a small step forward to

15:03

feeling better , to doing something

15:05

that feels good , and even if it's a small

15:07

step away from what doesn't feel

15:10

good , then you'll

15:12

start to really start to see

15:14

that there's so many

15:16

things that you can do

15:18

that you are worthy of , and

15:21

that is love . That

15:23

is you learning how to

15:25

, in essence , get to love , self-worth

15:27

and self-love . That's the end goal of

15:30

healing from toxic relationships

15:32

. Imagine yourself like a car

15:35

. You know you need fuel

15:37

. If you haven't got fuel

15:39

, you can't continue . Well

15:42

, love is your fuel . Following

15:44

what feels good to you is , in

15:47

essence , you pouring in a

15:49

whole load of love that you think , yeah

15:51

, I'm worthy enough to follow what feels

15:54

good and where you choose

15:56

to spend your energy , as

15:59

if you are in control , to

16:01

invest in whatever it is that

16:03

creates more energy for you and

16:06

move away from whatever it is

16:08

that depletes

16:10

energy from you . And sometimes it can take some

16:12

time right and it's giving yourself

16:15

time to really build

16:17

in your energy source . A lot

16:19

of us , when we've been in difficult relationships

16:21

, we just lose that energy and

16:24

we just lose that will to live . We

16:26

just lose all of that . And this is

16:28

the reason is that you've lost

16:30

your shape and you need to find

16:33

your shape back . You need to get

16:35

to you again and eventually

16:37

this process , as you start healing

16:40

and really developing self-worth and self-love

16:43

, eventually it will get

16:45

you to finding your purpose

16:47

. It's like why

16:49

you're here and you'll know this

16:51

is the thing I'm here to do . This

16:54

is what you know and it's not just one thing . There's

16:56

so many different sides to that piece of the puzzle

16:58

. So there's so many different things that you're here

17:00

to contribute towards . You might be a mother

17:02

, you might be a father , you might be a sister

17:05

. You know there's so many different things . You're here

17:07

and the way that you contribute and

17:09

it makes you feel good . It sort of

17:11

it , you know , fills

17:13

up your cup and

17:15

then , because it feels so

17:18

good to be you , the pain

17:20

of the relationship will no longer . You'll

17:23

no longer want that pain

17:25

to be squashed , because you'll really believe

17:27

in the , the piece of the puzzle that you are

17:29

Okay . So that's

17:32

step number one self-love and

17:34

self-worth and finding your

17:36

purpose , your . What is that you're

17:38

here to do ? So that we can undo some

17:40

of that devaluation . Step

17:42

number two we have to release the

17:44

trauma . Your trauma is not you . Please

17:47

don't start identifying with it . There is a lesson

17:50

in everything . There is no friend

17:52

, there is no enemy . They're all teachers

17:55

, right ? Everybody is a teacher , Everything

17:57

is a teacher . We're

17:59

here to learn . We're here on the earth

18:02

school to learn , right ? That

18:04

situation that you've been in

18:06

is here to teach you , and

18:08

maybe you didn't know that before , but

18:11

now you do . Now you know

18:13

that there's something I'm here to learn and

18:15

maybe this situation is

18:17

helping you learn how to value

18:20

yourself and that you are worth it

18:22

, and actually how to get back to self-love

18:24

. And the only way to get

18:26

to self-love is to release

18:28

the emotional pain . That's

18:31

what helps to reset the brain . When

18:34

we've been in difficult relationships , yes

18:36

, we've probably had PTSD

18:38

or complex PTSD . Like I said , what

18:40

that means is that you're living in that

18:42

primitive part of the brain , right ? And

18:45

if you have been people pleasing

18:47

, that is a phone response

18:49

, that's a trauma response . So

18:51

if you worry about what everybody else

18:53

is thinking and you don't even feel

18:56

like you should have needs . You're

18:58

always giving , giving , giving , but you have a real

19:00

problem receiving . You don't know

19:03

how to say yes and you

19:05

don't know how to say no to people

19:07

that want something from you . Yes

19:09

, I will receive . No . We

19:12

need to learn how to give and receive

19:14

in relationships . It really is

19:16

about giving and receiving . It's a two-way

19:19

energy . If you believe you're

19:21

not worthy of love , how can you

19:23

receive love ? How are you going

19:26

to allow yourself

19:28

to receive ? It's almost like a fear

19:30

, when we have trauma

19:32

, to even receive love . If

19:35

you're in the phone , trauma

19:37

response there's like a fear of I

19:40

don't . I feel uncomfortable receiving

19:42

, I feel uncomfortable getting support

19:44

. So many

19:46

people don't get into therapy , for

19:48

instance , or get therapy that really helps

19:51

them , because they

19:53

don't , they can't accept

19:55

help , so

19:58

they have to do everything themselves and

20:00

it's such a barrier , it's a trauma

20:02

response and they'll never get

20:04

to where they really need to get because

20:07

of the trauma . It becomes a

20:09

barrier for them . See , there

20:11

is emotional pain that needs

20:13

to be relieved so that you can learn

20:15

to receive , because you're worthy

20:18

of receiving , you're worthy of having this life

20:20

. So we must release

20:22

the emotional pain because , whatever

20:25

we resist , it actually

20:27

persists . And if you want to experience

20:30

success , love , harmony

20:32

, peace , we have to look at your

20:34

beliefs and become aware of those

20:36

beliefs and actually then look what's

20:38

underneath that and start processing

20:41

the emotions out of the body . Words

20:44

don't express how you feel . Right , With

20:47

every single limiting belief , anything

20:50

that is holding you back , there's usually

20:52

a really deep emotional

20:54

pain and you've created this

20:56

limiting belief above

20:59

the emotional pain . And as soon as you release

21:01

the emotional pain , the emotional

21:03

, the limiting belief starts to break

21:06

down . I'll give you an example of

21:08

this . I one of my clients

21:10

, who I absolutely adore . We'll call

21:12

her Kelly . She actually grew

21:14

up in a toxic environment and

21:16

, unfortunately , her father passed away . She

21:19

lived in . It was

21:21

tough and things just

21:23

got tougher for her because

21:25

she had a mother who

21:28

has a mother who has

21:30

a personality disorder , unfortunately

21:33

, and it was tough for her

21:35

to be experiencing

21:37

this but also

21:40

seeing her younger sister experiencing

21:43

it also , where she was then

21:45

hurting herself . It

21:47

was tough for her to actually

21:50

witness what was happening to

21:52

her but also her younger sister , and

21:55

what she realized was that

21:57

underneath everything was

22:00

a deep pain , emotional

22:02

pain , but she's so clever

22:04

. This girl is amazing . She's so

22:06

clever , she's very analytical , you

22:09

know and she would analyze everything

22:11

. And she even had an amazing you

22:15

know someone in the family that they would analyze

22:17

. They would , you know , talk it and explain

22:20

it . But what was really underneath

22:22

all of that ? It wasn't so much what

22:24

she needed to understand about the behaviors

22:27

and things like that . That was important For

22:29

her to really shift her life was

22:32

for her to start cultivating

22:34

self-love . When she started

22:37

to see her self-worth and self-love

22:39

, her brain would have started

22:41

to reset . She started

22:43

to change things , she moved out , she

22:46

got a better job , she started earning more

22:48

in a sideline business , she's got

22:50

a new home or she's getting a new home

22:52

, she's settled , she's taking care

22:55

of a younger sister and she's

22:57

letting go of the emotional pain

22:59

so that she can then start

23:01

to feel worthy of love

23:04

, of opportunities coming her way

23:06

. And the more you can let go

23:08

of the box and the barriers

23:10

, the more you can allow new

23:13

things in , and it's the perspective

23:15

change that allows more

23:17

opportunities to come . When we feel

23:20

worthy of love , a whole

23:22

life starts to shift . But

23:24

you might be wondering is that really possible for

23:26

me ? You know it feels so far-fetched

23:29

and I don't know that's gonna happen for me . If

23:31

you heal you will

23:33

. You will , no matter what

23:36

level of trauma you're in right now , no

23:38

matter how tough it is . If

23:40

you can reset your body

23:42

, especially the brain , so that the nervous

23:44

system can stay calmer , you release

23:47

the emotions , your brain will

23:49

start to shift and your trauma

23:51

will start to be released

23:53

, and then you will then

23:56

find that you have you're

23:58

more connected to self-worth

24:00

and self-love , where you're actually

24:02

being your true

24:05

, authentic self . Right

24:07

, and so it is a matter of releasing

24:09

the trauma that's stored up

24:11

in your body and and that

24:13

is impacting the way you think and

24:16

the way you feel habitually

24:18

and the way you behave habitually , because

24:20

it's you're behaving from your trauma

24:22

rather than from you . Okay , so

24:25

the last key thing to to

24:29

before I go into that , actually

24:31

the last thing my aims here

24:33

with this channel is

24:36

and my podcast is to share how

24:38

you heal after a toxic relationship

24:40

or difficult relationships , so you

24:42

can let go of this trauma . I want you to really

24:45

understand your self-worth and get your sense

24:48

of self-love back so that you

24:50

can fulfill your , your life

24:52

. You know that what you're meant

24:54

to do and be your authentic self . So

24:56

if this is something that you would like , please do

24:58

subscribe , please do share

25:01

for more content and

25:03

also please do review and

25:05

things like that as well , so we

25:07

can , you know , build this community

25:09

. So the last

25:12

thing , number three , is to really

25:14

build trust and belief

25:16

in ourselves . When we've been

25:18

in a difficult relationship , we have

25:20

had to keep it a secret . We've

25:22

probably felt embarrassed at times

25:24

that we've even been in this toxic

25:27

relationship and on

25:29

top of that , we've been blamed and shamed

25:31

as well . Well , like you know , you're overreacting

25:33

, is your fault , they do everything

25:36

, and then you get blamed for it . You're crazy , you're

25:38

not logical , and all these

25:40

feelings and

25:42

everything hold a tremendous amount

25:45

of shame and fear that

25:47

we've experienced . And we

25:49

do need to learn to interrupt

25:52

those patterns of thinking . That's an , it is

25:54

an addiction , Okay , and

25:57

in order for us to really learn to

25:59

trust and believe in ourselves , we have

26:01

to stop the repeating

26:03

subconscious thinking patterns

26:06

and really stop this addictive

26:09

kind of just normalizing

26:11

behavior . We have to stop

26:14

going back to that old story and really

26:16

connect with okay , where

26:18

am I putting my energy ? You

26:21

know , if everything is energy ? Science has

26:23

revealed everything is energy . You

26:26

are energy , right . Where are you putting

26:28

your energy ? You know ? Are you going

26:30

to put your energy into these thoughts

26:32

? Are they taking energy away from you

26:34

Feel it ? Is it taking energy

26:37

away from me or is it giving me energy

26:39

? And sometimes we have

26:41

to forgive ourselves . There is no

26:43

way around it . You know . Don't

26:45

torture yourself with

26:47

a story where you can't

26:50

move on from because

26:52

you're holding on to it with your

26:54

, you know , with all your

26:56

might . It's just a distraction

26:59

for you , it's not serving you , it's not

27:01

helping you be who you're meant to be , and

27:04

you have to be able to say no , I'm

27:06

not going to that , because

27:08

that makes me feel bad

27:11

about myself . It's not serving me . I

27:13

have so much regret I don't . You

27:16

know , we've all done some stuff that we don't wish

27:18

we hadn't . But there's no point

27:20

in holding on to regret . It doesn't serve

27:22

anyone and if you know

27:24

if there is , this is something you

27:26

really want to go deep into , if you really

27:29

want to go deep and heal this once and for all

27:31

. I do have a Heal

27:33

to Fried program . It's four months

27:35

and it's intensive . If you

27:37

are interested in investing in that , please

27:39

do look in the resources section

27:42

and apply for the free one to one

27:44

session and you're able with myself

27:46

or someone in my team . But

27:48

we've got to get rid of this blame

27:51

, this injustice that's causing

27:53

you pain , so that you can

27:55

free yourself to move forward , Because

27:58

ultimately , you did the best that you

28:00

could and we have to let it go . We

28:02

have there's no sense in beating ourself

28:04

up . We can't worry about the mistakes

28:06

we've made , we can't worry about the

28:08

fact that we got into these relationships

28:11

, but we have to

28:13

let go and release any

28:15

blocks in our life . What

28:17

is blocking you right now

28:19

from moving forward ? And

28:21

sometimes it's this energy

28:23

around the injustice

28:26

, or we feel that it's . You know they're

28:28

targeting us or

28:31

I can't leave . You know I've been blocked

28:33

. We have to let go of

28:35

the judgment

28:38

that we feel towards ourselves that we're

28:40

in this situation . Sometimes

28:43

, just letting go of that that

28:45

we're in this situation , we can actually

28:47

move on , we can go . Okay , what

28:49

is it that I want ? Instead ? I

28:51

accept where I am right now . It

28:54

really sucks , it's not great , but

28:57

I want to learn to love myself again

28:59

and really focus on

29:01

what it is that I want instead . So

29:04

that is the first

29:06

steps of trusting and believing

29:08

in yourself again and ultimately

29:11

, I'll be honest with you the

29:13

second person that really is

29:15

going to help you be the shape

29:17

that you're meant to be , as that jigsaw puzzle

29:19

is , by you following and trusting

29:22

your own intuition Not

29:24

anybody else , but you inside

29:26

, really following what it is that you want to do

29:28

and letting go of whatever

29:30

isn't serving you right now and

29:33

moving towards what does feel better . So

29:36

, letting go and moving forward , focusing

29:38

on what we want , and as you

29:40

start to trust yourself again

29:42

, you will find your life

29:44

force and you will find what

29:46

it is that you love on a daily

29:49

basis . And remember

29:51

, most of all , be kind and loving to yourself

29:53

, as always , and I'm sending you so much love

29:56

till next time .