Episode Transcript
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1:43
How did I ever lie here? You're
1:45
good.
1:46
Fantastic. I am
1:49
sat at my dining
1:51
room table and back home. for
1:53
a matter of hours. And I'm looking up
1:56
to the decidedly
1:58
gray and
1:59
grims guys
2:01
of Manchester. I'll just knock
2:03
the mic there because I'm a super pro.
2:07
So Craig, why is there
2:09
no gas this week. I hear you cry. Well,
2:11
there was going to be, but
2:15
sadly, myself and
2:18
the standard comedian, Josh Pew, couldn't
2:21
make a time work for which
2:24
is I'm gonna record it, but
2:26
we aren't gonna record it this week. So you'll
2:28
listen to this now, I think, on a Thursday,
2:31
we're gonna record when
2:33
I hot foot it back down to
2:36
Brighton, get set up.
2:38
Record with Josh before he goes
2:40
on stage. he
2:43
graciously
2:43
fit us in
2:45
on on his on his tour at the
2:47
moment. Josh is a great standard committee. You're
2:49
gonna really like it to be super well
2:51
down to a very, very funny,
2:55
and he's been on my radar for quite some time.
2:58
and it's not the case that, you
3:00
know, last week we had
3:02
the wonderful Nick Helm
3:05
who had known for years and
3:08
been a huge fan of this. It's
3:10
just comes to life that we've we've got a a
3:12
with double bank and standard comedians.
3:15
Maybe we'll just do a
3:17
stomachache, a special, as well
3:19
as the incredible strong
3:22
female representation we've
3:24
had this this
3:26
season. It's been it's been strong. And I
3:28
know it's been tough.
3:29
Probably as a listener,
3:32
but certainly as a host and a booker.
3:35
And I think I can speak for producer
3:37
graph as a producer. You'd
3:40
think after, you know,
3:42
five plus years, it would
3:45
be
3:45
easier, but
3:46
it's kinda not. It it it has
3:49
got harder. But
3:51
It's only because, you know, we pride ourselves
3:53
on not having
3:56
the same people on who are doing
3:58
the podcast rounds, therefore, having the same
4:00
conversations. We don't want that.
4:02
I don't want it, and we don't wanna
4:04
deliver that to you. So
4:08
yeah. apologies for
4:10
the inconsistency, but, you
4:13
know, as you're used to it now, when the
4:15
episodes come, they're gonna be great. I'm not
4:17
saying this
4:17
one's gonna be great because it's just me
4:20
talking to you. But we've
4:21
got a few questions from
4:24
you that we're
4:27
we're gonna talk to on the very
4:29
limited time I have it is gonna be much
4:32
short episode than normal, but how
4:34
are things you are
4:36
well. This is good, good news. It's
4:41
It certainly autumn was there. I
4:43
mean, I got back
4:45
to Manchester yesterday, and
4:47
it's is much grainier
4:50
than normal, but spirits
4:52
are high, people are
4:54
happy, which is good news. I'm
4:58
heading back tomorrow, as I said, down
5:00
to Bryant, and we've got another
5:03
six weeks of
5:05
filming left. on
5:08
on Grace. With
5:11
past TSP guest, John
5:13
Sim. I'm hoping to grab John
5:16
for a part two that we promised. We're gonna
5:18
do that. He's totally up for it.
5:20
So we might have to record that on set on
5:22
the host. Maybe I'll be interested.
5:24
Maybe let's see.
5:26
But John, he's
5:28
gonna come back. And we're gonna do that before
5:31
season ten is out. Before the
5:33
year is out Yeah. It's going so
5:35
fast. Let's just
5:37
slow
5:38
things
5:40
down.
5:42
Should we yeah. I've got I'll tell you.
5:45
I didn't think so. Yeah.
5:47
So we've got we'll
5:49
love this episode. This mini episode now.
5:51
Just me and you. having a little chat,
5:53
easing ourselves into the
5:55
Thursday. I've got the sunshine
5:57
on. It's just got back cold, so
6:00
cold. I won't feel for long though. It's
6:02
a dare do. And then we'll have
6:04
the wonderful Josh Pew.
6:08
So if you don't know who Josh is,
6:11
looking up on YouTube, there's some stuff on
6:14
there. I think
6:16
you'll kind of fall in love with him. He's very
6:18
lovable, really reliable,
6:21
effortless in his
6:23
delivery, which is one
6:26
of the reasons why he was
6:28
shortlisted this year. at
6:31
Edinburgh. It's not the for
6:33
the Edinburgh fringe, it's not the Perrier. I always call
6:35
it the Perrier, but that's because I'm forty
6:38
six. And it's now
6:40
probably someone to do with Dave. think he is something to
6:42
do with Dave. So whenever he's the Dave award,
6:45
you're probably shouting out now, Craig, it's
6:47
the this award. Anyway, he was
6:50
nominally this year. And when I went
6:52
up for a couple of days, I
6:55
missed his show because I
6:58
just couldn't fit it in. I was there for two days. I
7:00
was trying to see at least three shows
7:03
a day as well as some stand up.
7:05
And I couldn't fit it in, but I am gonna go and
7:07
say Josh
7:08
when when
7:10
half the time. You know, that's another thing
7:12
about the inconsistency of of
7:14
this podcast for season ten. It's
7:16
about finding the time It's
7:18
about finding the time to sit down
7:20
for a quality hour with somebody.
7:23
And
7:26
when you're busy and when you
7:28
do all the bookings yourself,
7:32
things can get pretty,
7:34
tricky. but
7:36
you know what? We get there in the
7:38
end. Don't we? So let's sum. Let's
7:41
dive in to
7:44
the mailbag. Naveedah,
7:47
Naveedah Hussein, hello. How
7:49
are you? Thank you so much for dropping
7:52
us an
7:53
email.
7:55
Now the video goes on to say
7:57
some very nice things which I'm not doing
7:59
to shout out, but
8:02
thank you to be there. You're very, very cognizant
8:04
of such nice things. Her
8:07
question is,
8:11
Would you do a live session
8:14
with an audience? She says, I'm sure
8:16
a lot of people would want to join
8:18
in That's
8:20
one question. She also asked, am I watching
8:22
anything that you would recommend? So
8:24
let's deal with the first part. of
8:27
Navidea's question first. Yeah.
8:30
Yeah. We would. We really
8:34
want to get out on the road. I
8:39
know personally,
8:41
I can't speak. for
8:43
producer graph, I know, the
8:45
next the first
8:48
three months of
8:50
next year, certainly the first two and a half months
8:55
are pretty free
8:59
with regards to a
9:02
filming for me. I
9:04
start again in March. So
9:08
maybe a
9:12
spring minitor could
9:14
be good, but, you know, it's a lot of organization,
9:16
but maybe if we got the win the bottleneckers,
9:19
we could we could kind of do that, that would be
9:21
good. But where would we go?
9:23
That's the thing.
9:28
gives a shout out where you think
9:30
we should go. We're gonna go
9:32
big cities. We're gonna go man just I'll be going
9:34
Birmingham. I'll be going Edinburgh.
9:37
I'll be going Glasgow. I'll be going nodding
9:39
them. you know,
9:41
I'd say, Blackpool. I don't know how many people listen
9:44
in Blackpool. My mom and dad might turn up,
9:46
but, you know, an audience of two.
9:49
And also you've got to think about getting
9:52
the guest. So
9:55
obviously, we do one in London.
9:58
Obviously, we do on in Manchester
10:00
and Birmingham, but where else would
10:02
you like us to talk if we
10:04
could I mean, we've been saying it for
10:06
a while, but it is all
10:09
logistics
10:09
and it's all about Simon.
10:13
So, yeah, I mean, I I mean, I think
10:15
I know what I can speak for
10:17
producer graph. We would love to do it.
10:20
It's always a joy. going
10:23
out and
10:24
then being
10:25
in the TSP family, having
10:27
a chat before and after. And
10:31
There's a different attitude. There's different
10:33
vibe. It's a really, really good
10:35
experience. It's
10:37
a nice night out. So, yeah, lot.
10:39
I'm talk I'm like, are they talking myself
10:41
into it? Yes. We would love to
10:44
do it.
10:49
let's let's put that on the Paris
10:51
notices live tour, TSB
10:53
mini tour, early
10:57
next year, obviously,
10:59
not promising, but certainly it's something
11:01
we're gonna look into.
11:03
let me get the next six
11:06
weeks out of the way and then
11:09
we can really dive into
11:11
it.
11:12
and look. But, you know,
11:14
it gives a shout on social media where
11:16
you think
11:18
we should go. and be realistic.
11:22
Also, a venue
11:24
with Dorothy in too big, Dorothy
11:26
in too tiny. So it needs
11:28
to be just right. Lots
11:31
of character. Lots of warmth.
11:33
I mean, you'll bring the warmth. You'll be there. And
11:37
Let's keep ticket prices
11:41
as low as possible look.
11:45
We do this with the help of you.
11:47
You support us on Patreon.
11:50
You buy a bit of merch. You support.
11:53
and it's what keeps us going,
11:56
you
11:56
know. So bear in
11:58
mind, what would you pay
11:59
for a night out?
12:02
with one possibly two guests.
12:06
Have
12:06
a think, see
12:08
what you would put your own in your pocket for.
12:11
Now
12:13
the second part of the question. Oh, and also,
12:16
with regards to that first part, yeah,
12:18
hit us up on social media about that.
12:20
venues, cities,
12:22
towns, villages, and
12:28
also what you feel would be
12:30
the right price to pay for a ticket,
12:33
you know,
12:35
especially with the cost living crisis
12:37
and what's going on.
12:39
It's, you know, it's it's a dare
12:41
do to go to the pictures now,
12:44
which
12:44
we love to do, go to fear,
12:46
go to the op or a
12:49
go to a gig. You
12:52
know? And also,
12:54
if you're a if you're a parent, you've got
12:56
think about childcare. So
12:58
every hour you're out,
13:00
you're paying for it. And
13:03
maybe you've been out for ages. So,
13:05
yeah, have a think. about about all
13:07
of those things. So what
13:10
what have I been watching of
13:12
late? Well, it's been a while since
13:15
I've actually had time to sit down
13:18
and pop the idiot box on. But
13:23
the last Saturday,
13:26
we
13:26
went to
13:28
the pictures for
13:30
the first time in a long time. and
13:33
we went to the wonderful every
13:35
man on Caesary in
13:37
Manchester. And
13:39
Now,
13:40
I don't do a lot of theater.
13:43
them I don't
13:46
know why. Well,
13:47
actually, I do know why. It's it's
13:49
it's slightly terrifying, and it takes up a lot
13:51
of time and a lot of energy.
13:53
And I don't know if we've
13:55
got it in me. But whenever I do,
13:57
I really want to work with
14:00
the best playwrights.
14:02
And one of the best playwrights
14:04
is Martin Waddler, one of the best screamwriters
14:06
and Directors is Martin McDonough. And
14:09
so we went to see his new
14:12
film which was reunite in
14:14
Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. And
14:19
it was remarkable. I
14:21
mean,
14:24
Yeah.
14:24
I was trying to suppress.
14:27
I was well. I was. I was suppressing tears.
14:30
think, within twenty minutes,
14:33
it was quite the emotional
14:35
roller coaster. If you haven't seen it, please go
14:37
and see. the balance sheet of
14:40
in ish in
14:42
a comprehensive market
14:44
returns new firm with common firm and I can
14:46
go and see that indefinitely. But
14:50
as wickedly funny as
14:52
it is, the
14:55
I I did
14:58
find it desperately sad for
15:00
all sorts of reasons, but
15:03
I think you'll take away what
15:05
you take away. It's quite the personal
15:08
experience, astonishing performances
15:11
by all of them. There's a moment in
15:13
that first twenty minutes and
15:19
Colin Farrell's face goes
15:22
through about seven different emotions
15:25
whilst he sat outside this pub. And
15:28
that moment absolutely broke
15:30
me. It's it's a remarkable
15:33
remarkable piece of acting,
15:35
both of them and also
15:39
Barike Elgomer. who
15:43
could possibly stay on this film when Carrie
15:46
London was incredible pack
15:49
shorts as the landlord of the pub. I
15:51
mean, it's a it's a small
15:53
and stonkingly brilliant
15:56
cast. beautifully
15:58
shot by Ben Davis.
15:59
The score
16:01
isn't what you think it's gonna be. It's
16:06
it's stunning, but
16:08
as
16:10
as as funny. Yeah. As funny as it is, I
16:12
did I did Kayva. I didn't come
16:14
out fairly rather sad while we both did.
16:18
But we sat down to
16:20
the small screen in the evening and
16:23
I've been wanting to have
16:25
time to sit and watch the
16:27
bear on Disney plus which I've
16:29
been reading about since it
16:32
was released in the states.
16:34
I think, like, a year ago, it's taken quite
16:36
some time to get over
16:39
onto Disney Plus. So
16:42
the Bear Disney
16:45
Plus, it's eight episodes.
16:47
There are about sort twenty six, twenty seven minutes.
16:50
long each episode. So
16:52
it's it's
16:55
it's binging. It's what binging
16:57
was made for the not hours long
17:01
there there that time. There's
17:03
one episode which
17:07
is a remarkable feat
17:09
of television. It's
17:11
it's a one It's a one
17:14
take episode. I think it's episode
17:16
seven. I think it is episode seven.
17:19
The characters are strong, the writing is
17:21
incredible, the pace, is
17:25
up there
17:26
with the best I've seen in a long time.
17:30
go watch it. It's not if people
17:33
are saying it's stressful. I don't think it's as
17:35
stressful as
17:38
some people are saying. think it's funny,
17:42
relatable, intriguing,
17:45
and
17:48
morrish. So the bear
17:51
on Disney plus is
17:53
my sorry. It's still not bad. My
17:56
strat human recommendation to bear,
17:58
Disney plus Go,
18:00
feast on that. And
18:02
trust me, come back to me. You're gonna enjoy it.
18:04
Season two has already been
18:07
commissioned. And that
18:09
something
18:09
else I've started on Disney
18:11
Plus, it's an absolute crack at. I mean, not
18:13
sponsored by Disney Plus. I mean, we bloody Shopee.
18:16
because they're producing incredible things.
18:19
I watched the first episode
18:21
of Jeffbridge's new series
18:23
called The Old Man which again,
18:25
yeah. There's nipples.
18:28
And that is a
18:31
strong, strong intense
18:34
intensely violent first
18:38
episode of
18:41
of an e thriller. And look, it's Jeff Bridges
18:43
in it. It's gonna be quality. Isn't it?
18:46
Yeah. Well, it is. So
18:48
they are things that
18:50
I've been watching of late, which
18:53
I've adored. Let
18:55
me let
18:56
me just
18:58
give it a pause right there and
19:00
I'll be back.
19:02
innocent.
19:09
and we are back.
19:12
Hello. So, Navida, thank
19:14
you so much
19:15
for that question. I hope that was
19:17
answered.
19:18
thoroughly. think it was when
19:21
it was on this it was on this so one
19:23
more can get. Carmen
19:26
Gosh, dear. Thank you. So
19:28
much for such a lovely email. I'm
19:31
not gonna read it out, obviously, because I don't
19:33
do that, but you know what you said and
19:35
he's much appreciated. So
19:38
bless your consults. Thanks very much. Now
19:41
now interesting question this.
19:44
Carvin goes to say, imagine that
19:46
you were organizing a music festival.
19:49
What would be your ideal lineup? which
19:52
artists and groups passed or present?
19:55
What would they be would they be who would be performing?
19:57
What songs would they play? I mean, I
20:00
can't answer all of that. because
20:02
there's a lot to go on and got a limited time,
20:04
but I will I
20:06
will answer
20:08
part of it. But before I do that,
20:11
This question is one
20:13
that is posed on a
20:15
podcast by my friend Sean
20:17
Keaveney. It's called the lineup.
20:20
and he gets a guest on it every
20:22
week and it's it's
20:24
about creating your own festival. So
20:26
it is this Carmen, you would
20:28
love this. podcast, the lineup
20:31
with Sean Kevey, go find it where he go. He
20:33
podcast. He gets a guest on every week.
20:36
They look at location. they
20:39
look at, you know,
20:42
the aforementioned lineup. it
20:45
could, you know, it's people from the past,
20:48
people who are no longer with us.
20:50
They talk about the setting. They
20:53
talk about the name of the festival. They talk about
20:55
food they talk about who's going to the festival,
20:57
it's a great great lesson. And
21:02
one headliner that
21:04
I think would
21:07
bring the house down apart from people
21:10
who had won now, had won the kings. I
21:12
would want Fleetwood Mac original lineup.
21:14
But
21:17
but I
21:19
always think when it's dark
21:22
and
21:22
it's it's a balmy summer's
21:25
evening, we're waiting.
21:27
for
21:27
the headline is to come on. No one knows. It's
21:29
a complete secret. And
21:31
all the lights go off.
21:34
And
21:34
there's a hush from the crowd.
21:39
We
21:39
hear
21:40
organs in the background
21:43
people come. what
21:44
is that? And it's and it's fading out the music.
21:46
We can almost hear it. We
21:48
can't
21:48
really make out of the tune, but we know
21:50
it's organs and all of a sudden A
21:53
spotlight
21:54
shines down on stage in there
21:57
is
21:57
George Michael in all his glory
22:00
and he goes right into faith.
22:03
Come on. The crowd goes, wild. That
22:05
would be it. So, yeah, I would say George
22:07
Michael, all the hits.
22:10
all the solo hits.
22:13
All the wham hits. Special
22:15
guest stars, yes, Elton's comment
22:18
on. Of course, he is. Yeah.
22:20
I would say George
22:22
Michael the
22:26
would be there, Carmen. I hope that answers
22:29
your question,
22:30
jeez, I'm ready when I'm at the first
22:32
of all now.
22:33
Still not long till summer.
22:35
Okay. Let's
22:37
have another look.
22:39
I think we'll time for one more
22:43
question.
22:45
So it's last question time
22:46
because I've got to
22:49
I've got to go and cook dinner and then I've got
22:51
to finish back in and then bounced
22:54
on the train to Brighton. Katie
22:58
Braembridge. How are you, Katie? Long
23:01
time listener. and supporter
23:03
is is our Katie. So
23:08
Katie is talking about
23:10
Halloween because we've just had I don't know. I mean,
23:13
and
23:13
she says it.
23:14
Do you consider clowns a Halloween
23:16
thing? Okay. See, I do. And
23:18
let me tell you why.
23:20
why I've
23:23
never like germs. I've always found them
23:26
very scary. And this didn't help
23:28
when I was
23:33
Young. I was young. was far
23:35
too young to
23:37
be watching Halloween
23:40
three. season
23:42
of the witch, which which
23:45
is a is a funny one because,
23:47
yes, it's it's a Halloween
23:49
film from the Halloween franchise, but from
23:52
what I remember, and
23:53
I think it must have been too well for
23:55
some to you want to be watching such a
23:57
terrifying film on
23:59
on VHS.
24:02
Well, what's
24:03
VHS Craig Googler?
24:06
google it.
24:07
i'm And
24:10
that had
24:11
quite the
24:14
freakish of clowns in
24:16
it and scared
24:19
the life away.
24:20
Still, now I I wouldn't go back.
24:23
and watched that. So
24:25
I blame Halloween three season for the witch for
24:27
clowns. Obviously,
24:29
it
24:31
which my son
24:33
who is eleven has
24:36
just started reading and he's very excited
24:39
that it's a it's a huge big thick
24:42
Stephen King. No. Voluntary First Stephen
24:44
King. So he's gonna he's gonna
24:46
go through it and then he's gonna graduate
24:49
to the stand.
24:50
Say them's love. The shining. He's
24:52
going through all speaking of my son. He
24:55
was very, he loves Halloween.
24:57
so much. And
25:00
his mom always
25:02
creates a fantastic
25:05
Halloween pie because his mom
25:07
he's from Northern Ireland, as you may
25:10
know. And Halloween's
25:12
huge then in in Ireland. more
25:16
so than it is here. And
25:19
he got it
25:21
he got it in his mind that he wanted to make,
25:23
his Halloween. out for this year.
25:26
ah
25:29
And he'd recently watched the new
25:31
Predator film on Disney Plus as
25:33
another
25:34
hard recommend, by the way. And
25:36
then he wants to go back and
25:38
watch the original predator, which
25:40
which he did. Yes. I know. He's eleven.
25:42
Don't BBFC me.
25:46
Tanger changed. It'd be fifteen now
25:48
or twelve eight as well as you know it apart from the swearing.
25:50
Yeah. and we
25:53
in between myself and his
25:55
mom, we
25:58
got together and
25:59
and he made
26:01
most of his predecessor outfit from
26:04
cardboard. I went to Primark
26:06
and got some fishnets, tights, fish fish
26:09
net, fish net tights. That's
26:11
right. Never
26:13
bought them. Can't say it. And
26:15
then I found a company and
26:17
it was really cheap. It was like thirty quid
26:20
and they three d printed
26:23
the predator helmet.
26:25
and he got a light to stick on the side
26:27
with the three sort of red lasers.
26:32
And then he wanted to have the
26:34
sound of the predator.
26:36
So I said, well, I need
26:38
to record these things off his phone. I said, well, if
26:40
you record
26:41
off your phone, that clicky
26:43
click noise, that quite sinister,
26:46
eerie clicking that the predator does.
26:48
Almost, you know, it's it's quite like
26:51
I'm doing
26:52
pincer. That's made a
26:54
pencil shape because it's a bit like a
26:57
crab or some sort of crustacean.
27:00
And then we've got a little bag.
27:02
that little tiny
27:04
bag that I used, that I
27:06
had in blastingbury this year, and I
27:08
said, well, I had to repeat that. I mean, well, you can have that. and
27:10
we got a tiny little cheap Bluetooth speaker,
27:13
and he connected it to
27:15
to his phone. And he had
27:17
this noise of the furniture coming out. I mean,
27:20
I'm saying all this and
27:22
it is spectacular. I'm gonna try and edit a
27:25
video and
27:25
I'll put it on
27:27
the two shot page. So
27:30
you can see it in all its eerie,
27:33
glory,
27:34
but you had a job well done for eleven year
27:36
old boy kind of complete
27:38
Halloween. God knows what's gonna happen
27:40
next year. Well,
27:42
look, that's all we've got time for this
27:45
week. I didn't wanna just
27:47
leave you hanging and not have an episode for
27:49
your Thursday when
27:52
everything's getting a bit dark and gloomy
27:54
and rainy and sludgy and leafy.
27:57
So it's nice to check-in with
27:59
the community
27:59
and
28:02
will see you very soon
28:04
with a conversation, with brilliant
28:07
Josh Pew.
28:08
Okay.
28:09
Until then, I've been Craig Parkinson.
28:12
He's been producer Greff, and this
28:14
has been the
28:15
two shot podcast. You
28:16
take care of yourself. Alright. Let's
28:19
see soon.
28:19
The
28:23
two shot podcasts was presented by me, Craig
28:25
Parkinson, recorded
28:26
and produced by Thomas Griffin for
28:28
splicing block. The remix of our theme
28:30
tune is by stolen valour. Cheers.
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