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Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast.

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I'm Amy Morin, the editor-in-chief

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of Very Well Mind. I'm also a psychotherapist

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and a best-selling author of five books on

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mental strength. My newest

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book, 13 Things Mentally

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Strong People Don't Do, Workbook, is

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now on sale everywhere books

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are sold. It's filled with mental

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strength-building strategies, quizzes, and

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reflection questions that can help you become

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the strongest version of yourself. So

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listening to the Friday Fix. Every

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Friday, I share a quick mental strength strategy

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that can help fix the thoughts, feelings,

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and actions that can hold you back in life.

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And the fun part is we record the show from

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a sailboat in the Florida Keys.

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Now, let's dive into today's episode.

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Do you often feel overwhelmed because

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you have too much to do? Do you

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struggle to prioritize what task you should

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tackle first? Do

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your emotions overwhelm you so much that

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you have trouble taking any action at all? If

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you answered yes to any of those questions,

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today's episode is for you. I'm

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sharing one of my favorite tools that can help

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you whenever you feel overwhelmed. I

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did a survey on my Instagram story to

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see how many of you feel overwhelmed. 83% of

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you said you feel overwhelmed at least some

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of the time. 58% of you said you feel overwhelmed

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almost every single day. So

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if you feel overwhelmed, know that you're not

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alone. I

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know I get overwhelmed sometimes because I feel like

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I'm pulled in way too many directions. I'll

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be working on a project and then I get an email

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asking me to send something to someone right

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away. Or I get an invitation

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to do a media interview that's happening in like 30

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minutes. So I have to decide what

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am I going to do next. There

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are always going to be lots of things vying for

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your attention. Since social

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media and smartphones were invented, it's

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tougher than ever to stay on task great of

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course you're always going to be personal

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to do list you that make it tough to get things done

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you might need to schedule an appointment during your workday

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a minor been an emergency that you need to see the eye

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doctor but you might need to make the

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appointment during work hours to make it happen

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sometimes we get overwhelmed for just a short period

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of time like when you have an extra project

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do on friday you might

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know that it's gonna be a tough week but at least there's

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light at the end of the tunnel you

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can work extra hard until the end of the week but

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then things are going to get better at

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other times you might feel almost constantly

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overwhelmed i know a

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lot of people feel guilty when they're working outside

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of work hours because they feel like they should be

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spending time with family but

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when they spend time with family they feel guilty that

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they aren't doing enough work so they constantly

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feel overwhelmed about not being present with

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whatever task is right in front of them something

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that we all deal and there are studies to back

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this up is under estimate

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how long a task is going to take you

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might think that replying to your emails is only

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going to take fifteen minutes but it really takes

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an hour or you my estimate

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that the report you're going to rights only going to take an hour

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and it takes three research

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shows we consistently underestimate

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how long those tasks take and

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then we get frustrated when we don't get as much done

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as we hoped by the end of the day or by the end

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of the week there's

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also research that shows were terrible

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at prioritizing what should get down first

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and if you consider yourself a busy person

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i some bad news you might

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be axed bad at prioritizing your tasks

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at least according to research a

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study in the journal of consumer research found

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that are attention is drawn to time sensitive

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tasks that are less urgent

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even

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when the less urgent tasks offers fewer

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rewards it's called the mere

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urgency effect and it shows

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it were more likely to prioritize a task

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that need to be done soon, even if it's

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not important.

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The study found that the effect is even more prominent

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in people who describe themselves as busy.

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Researchers found that people who refer to themselves as busy

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are more likely to select urgent tasks

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with lower payouts. The

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reasoning is this. If you're

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already feeling a time crunch, you'll

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likely prioritize tasks that keep you

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focused on the clock. From

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a psychology standpoint, this makes sense. Let's

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say you're feeling frenzied about a report that you

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need to get done by tomorrow. And

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then at 10am you get an email that asks you to

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reply by noon today, but

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it's not something you're even interested in. But

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your mindset is already focused on beating the

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clock. Essentially you feel frenzied

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about the report you have to do tomorrow. And

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in your heightened emotional state, you won't think clearly.

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Being given another task to do with a tight

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deadline fits with the way that

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you already feel. And you're likely

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to reply to that email rather than

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ignore it. This

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is because we do things that are congruent with how

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we're feeling already, even though it

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makes no sense. This is true with

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all of our emotions. When

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you feel sad, you do sad

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things. When you feel happy,

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you do happy things. When

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you feel frenzied, you'll do frenzied

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things. The way

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to break out of those patterns is to not

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act on your emotion. You

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have to introduce some rational thinking into the

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mix. And that's

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what we're going to talk about in a minute. A tool

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that will help you take calculated action,

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not frenzied action, because you're feeling overwhelmed.

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Becoming overwhelmed though isn't always related to having

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too much to do. Sometimes

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we get overwhelmed because our emotions are really

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intense. You might

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be dealing with a bunch of emotions at the same time.

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Maybe you have a loved one who's sick and you have a lot of

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anxiety about that. the

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your child's teacher has called and said that your kids

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acting out at school and you're frustrated

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by that in the meantime

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a colleague might imply that you're not doing good job

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in a meeting and you're embarrassed and angry

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about all of that at the same time you're

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likely to feel emotionally overwhelmed and

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you're in danger of not getting anything done

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because your attention is elsewhere we've

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all had that moment in life when we have so much to

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do and the tasks might not necessarily

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be that hard he might just be making

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a phone call but you feel like you can't

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function and he just stare at the wall or

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a similar couch and stare at the floor knowing

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you should be doing something but feeling like

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you just can't do anything fortunately

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there's a really practical strategy that can help

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whether you're overwhelmed with having too many things

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to do and not enough time or

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you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed this

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strategy will help it's

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called the eisenhower matrix named

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after president eisenhower who

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was an army general during world war two

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and the president of the u s during the cold war

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in a speech he wants said i have two kinds of

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problems the urgent

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and the important the

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urgent are not important and

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the important or never urgent

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this

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matrix solve that problem and

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if it worked for him i bet it can work for

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you to this

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is how it works get a piece of

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paper in a pan create a

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to by two matrix label

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one column urgent and

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the next column less urgent label

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the rose as important and less important

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now you have four boxes that will help you decide

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what tasks or most urgent and most important

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as well as which ones are less urgent and

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less important in

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the most urgent and most important box

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put the things that you need to work on right away like

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finishing a draft of an article or

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sending an important email and

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The important less urgent box include

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tasks that can wait a little bit, like

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posting on social media or preparing

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for an upcoming meeting. And

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the less urgent but important box? Put

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things that you might delegate, like asking

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someone else to run an errand for you, or any

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other task that you could assign to someone else. And

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the final box of lowest urgency and

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lowest importance include things that

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you might not really need to worry about.

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In fact, you might delete these things altogether

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once you see your priorities.

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That could be anything from attending an optional

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meeting

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to going to a networking event that isn't likely

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to do much for you.

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So that's Eisenhower's Matrix, four

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boxes that will help you see how important

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and how urgent your tasks are. There

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are actually a lot of apps and software programs

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that allow you to do that on your phone or your laptop,

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but you don't actually need to buy anything to make this

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work. In

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fact, a pen and a piece of paper might

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actually work better. There's

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a lot of research that shows writing things down

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slows your brain and helps you think

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more clearly as compared to when you're

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using your electronics. Putting

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words on paper also helps your brain make

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more sense of things.

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It also helps your brain know that it

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doesn't have to keep track of everything,

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and it frees up more space so that you can concentrate

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on more important things. I've

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seen some people out there claim that successful

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people don't keep to-do lists, but

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I actually don't think that's a good idea. All

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of us have things to do, but when

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you don't write them down, your brain has to keep

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remembering what to do next. It's sort

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of like having extra tabs open on your laptop.

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But a traditional to-do list isn't always

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prioritized in the most helpful way.

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You might tend to do the fastest tasks first,

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or you might do the most urgent things first, even

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though they don't need to get done. to

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get distracted by new incoming tasks

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that distract us. So

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give it a shot. Try the Eisenhower

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Matrix and see if it helps you feel less overwhelmed.

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When you see everything on paper and you sort out

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what you need to focus on and what you don't, you

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might start to feel a lot better.

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If you know someone who could benefit from hearing this message,

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share this show with them. Simply sharing

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a link to this episode could help someone feel better

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and grow stronger. Do

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you want free access to my online course? It's

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called 10 Mental Strength Exercises That

10:32

Will Help You Reach Your Greatest Potential. To

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get your pre-pass, all you have to do is leave us

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Then send us a screenshot of your review. Our

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email address is podcast at verywell.com.

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We'll reply with your all-access pass to the

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course. Make sure to

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subscribe to us on your favorite platform

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so you can get mental strength tips delivered to you every

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single week. Thank you for

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hanging out with me today and for listening to

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the Very Well Mind Podcast. And

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as always, a big thank you to my show's producer,

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who keeps a must-watch movie to-do

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list, Nick

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Valentine.