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of America N.A. Member FDIC. I'm Brian

0:31

Tetta, executive producer of The View. It's

0:33

Wednesday and I'm here with Joy Behar. This

0:36

is Behind the Table. It

0:47

is Wednesday. I am here with Joy

0:49

Behar. Hello, Joy. Hello. Happy to have

0:51

you here. We often start these conversations about

0:53

you possibly being crankier in a bad mood. I

0:55

have to say I'm a little cranky today. I

0:58

don't know. I can't really place the why, but

1:00

I got something some odd to do. Why do

1:02

you think I'm cranky? Not today. You seem fine

1:05

today. I think we switch places. Occasionally you're cranky.

1:07

I am. Yeah, but right now... Because it's the

1:09

morning. Yeah, it's the morning. It's also the news

1:13

cycle has a tremendous influence. Well, the world

1:15

is on fire. And

1:17

Trump could be president. These things, I wake

1:19

up with this every morning and I feel

1:21

sick. I'm not trying to get you into a bad mood.

1:23

I'm just pointing out that you're actually in a pretty good place.

1:25

Me, not so much today, but I'll get over it. I'll get

1:27

over it. I can't even figure out why. But I think

1:29

sometimes I'm in a bad mood because of all those things

1:32

and then I have to talk about them. Yes. So

1:34

that will put you in a bad mood. It will. However, right

1:36

now we're doing our podcast. You got the crossword

1:39

puzzle out. I do. You got some kettle corn.

1:41

You're in a pretty good place today. I

1:43

am. And I'm about to have lunch with

1:45

Susie Essman, Judy Gold, and Mario Canton. That's

1:47

fun. That's a fun crowd. That's pretty good.

1:50

Something that wouldn't put you in a good mood. I heard

1:52

that you and Steve had a fight. Now, you guys never

1:55

argue about anything. You've talked about this. We don't fight a

1:57

lot now. No, but you had a fight yesterday and it's...

2:00

about? First of all, it's

2:02

always about the car. It's not

2:04

the car. He has autoimmune deficiencies.

2:08

Auto. Yeah, I got the joke.

2:11

Whenever he's either behind the wheel or in the

2:14

back seat, God forbid we have a driver. Yeah.

2:17

He's a backseat driver, a front seat driver,

2:19

and a Joy Behar non-driver

2:22

hatefulness of him. Well, admittedly,

2:24

you're not a great driver. You've said

2:26

this yourself. Look, why am I not

2:29

a great driver? Because I've been with him for

2:31

40 years, and he completely has made me into

2:33

a nervous driver because he's always

2:35

criticizing how I drive. I went into

2:37

one farm stand, and I have to suffer

2:40

for the rest of my life. Let's

2:42

recount the farm stand. What happened? I drove

2:45

to the farm stand. I

2:48

pulled into like the little parking thing they have,

2:50

which faces the farm stand. And I had it

2:52

in drive, and I forgot to take it out

2:54

of drive, and I got out of the car,

2:56

and I started to roll down. I jumped back

2:58

in the car, quickly put it

3:00

in neutral, and it went into the farm

3:02

stand anyway. It was too late. It was

3:04

a tomato blight. I can't go to that

3:07

farm stand. No, you took out the farm stand. Yeah,

3:09

so that happened one time. Right. And

3:11

also, you know, we were in Italy

3:13

together for 10 days, for two of

3:15

us. It's too much closeness. Come on.

3:17

It's a lot. Day and night, day

3:19

and night. And then we come

3:21

back, and then we're together on the

3:23

weekend, day and night, day and night. I

3:26

say to him, let's go get lunch. Take

3:29

Bernie because we're eating outdoors this weekend because it

3:31

was nice out. Let's drive and

3:33

take my Mini Cooper because I have a little

3:35

I'm gonna lease a Mini Cooper. And he has this

3:37

other car. I said, let's take the

3:39

mini I'll drive. Now

3:41

he's sitting in his car. I'm

3:44

not getting in that car with you. Oh, I

3:47

said, Listen, I'll take my car. You

3:49

take yours. I'll meet you there. Now

3:51

he didn't like that gets out of his car

3:54

gets in the Mini Cooper with the dog with

3:56

a fubation upon him on him. one

4:00

of the faith but you put the yes i'll

4:02

translate it to several languages yep i

4:06

think i'm sick of you and fanta lighting may

4:08

without my driving will have enough

4:11

this is this is uh... intense now i mean anyway

4:14

we went to the deadlift lunch didn't

4:16

say one word the entire time except

4:18

make a turn here he

4:20

can't control himself that the break oh

4:23

i'm ready to come back to your student driver but

4:25

it was yeah but you know what normally i don't really

4:27

care but i had an extra much

4:30

to get that was after italy everything else

4:32

did uh... now who

4:34

broke the the the island yeah he

4:37

tried okay so you want basically

4:40

uh... yeah the driving that's a common thing

4:43

is a man generally speaking if you two are going some

4:45

places just assumed he's gonna drive is that you have to

4:47

it is with my family to which is weird because my

4:49

wife is a force but if i'm home i

4:51

generally drive we don't really care about that

4:53

i have to have to say he's a

4:55

very good driver yes is very good

4:57

but once in a while i have to

5:00

drive that little car is a convertible

5:02

right listen it's the leases up anyway

5:04

and then you're done you might not even

5:06

get another car so i i if my

5:08

wife uh... years ago crashed into a large

5:11

steel pole dry cleaners which is still to this

5:13

day swears the poll jumped out in front of

5:15

her car i don't understand

5:17

it ccc just look at me the street yes

5:19

dear i mean that's what i've been saying twenty

5:22

years and done and i was in

5:24

a uh... bad car accident when i was seventeen i

5:26

think i've told you about this i was it was

5:28

halloween i was uh... dressed as

5:30

a sheep my date

5:32

with little bo peep and i crashed into a creek

5:34

i was not inebriated or anything else but i was

5:36

badly injured you got a nice sweater out of it

5:38

yeah yeah

5:42

uh... and because of that she throws that in my face still

5:44

she didn't know me then but she throws that in my face

5:46

and you think i'm a bad driver you're a horrible drop by

5:49

the way it just interrupt you for a second

5:51

there a punch line to no go ahead

5:53

you're good because he just recently scrapes

5:55

the whole side right side of the

5:57

car pulling into one of these underground

6:00

parking lots and the car was old and

6:02

it and

6:36

driving and driving and driving so

6:38

finally he says listen I'm too sleepy tired now

6:41

you have to drive I think good I get

6:43

in behind the wheel he falls

6:45

asleep he wakes up I'm

6:47

tailgating a police car

6:52

oh my god they're on the

6:54

patrol they like ya super cops

6:57

right I was driving behind them

6:59

and he woke up terrified what are you doing

7:01

another thing that happened so you see he doesn't

7:03

trust me for us occasionally we'll get like you

7:05

know I have you get that email that tells

7:07

you the letters that are coming in advance of

7:09

what you're getting you know about this the US

7:11

Postal Service offers this where they send you a

7:13

photo of all the letters that are coming to

7:15

your house later in the day I never saw

7:17

that in my life I get the register for

7:19

it I get it so I always see what's

7:21

coming so occasionally you look at it you're like

7:23

oh this doesn't look good it's a letter from

7:25

the school or yeah something like this and occasionally

7:27

rarely we will get a ticket it's clearly a

7:29

ticket coming so my wife and I will up

7:32

wager against each other which one of us is going

7:34

to get nailed for this ticket I bet this is

7:36

your car you ran a stop sign in front of

7:38

one of those red light cameras I know what I

7:40

know and I talked a big game this week and

7:42

it was it was me yeah I mean you know

7:44

my mother used to say don't spit up in the

7:46

air comes back in your face yes well there

7:49

you go back in my face all right I

7:52

think we should move on we talked about

7:54

the Stormy Daniels testimony today in

7:56

the hush many trial Sunnys gonna start going to the courtroom

7:58

you seemed a little jealous of I am. I'm

8:01

very jealous. Would you ever want to go? Yes. Yeah.

8:04

Why can't I go? Well, I think she's got like press credentials. I

8:06

don't think it's out of the question that you could go, but I

8:08

think she's done this before. I don't really want to be in the

8:10

same room with Donald Trump. Yeah. I

8:12

skeeb him. Yes, I know you do. I don't want

8:15

to be anywhere near him. No. He's

8:17

disrespectful. No, and also I've been around you when you

8:19

tried to whisper, I think. Yeah, my voice carried. No,

8:21

your voice carried. My mother does something similar. She speaks

8:23

at a very loud volume when she thinks she's whispering.

8:25

We've been in weddings as the bride's walking down the

8:28

aisle and she'll comment on the dress in an unflattering

8:30

way. I'm like, mom's like, what? They can't

8:32

hear me. Yes, they can. Mom, they can

8:34

hear you. I swear. Their mother

8:37

is looking at you. It's rough. But

8:40

all right. So we had Stormy Daniels there. We

8:43

talked about her today. Do you think that this trial is going to

8:45

have any impact? Yes. You

8:47

do. That's good. I think that

8:49

it permeates the social consciousness of

8:52

the average person. Even if you don't

8:54

watch CNN, you can't keep your eyes off

8:56

of a trial like this or your ears. It's on

8:58

the radio. It's on podcasts. It's

9:01

everywhere. And you see what he's made

9:03

of. And it's not good. Yeah,

9:07

I think. And like I said today,

9:10

according to her, no condom. This is

9:12

a guy who overthrows Roe v. Wade

9:14

with his friend, Nolido, and

9:16

then says that women who have had abortions

9:18

need to be punished. And then he

9:20

screws a porn star with

9:23

Mr. Happy with no raincoat. Give me

9:25

a break. Give me a break.

9:28

And if he got her pregnant, what would happen then?

9:30

Would he have to pay for an abortion? You think

9:32

he never did? Come on. I have a

9:34

legal note. Go ahead. Trump has pled

9:36

guilt, not guilty, to falsifying business records. That

9:38

was a big Troyian slip. And has denied

9:40

ever having an affair with Stormy Daniels. Well,

9:42

we have receipts. We have details. We know

9:44

he was there. But there's a picture with

9:46

her. Come on. He's met her. He's not

9:48

denying meeting her. He's denying it happened. I'm not saying it

9:50

didn't happen. Any guy like that

9:53

could deny whatever he wants because nobody keeps

9:55

a record of that while it's happening.

9:57

No, that's generally not. Listen, these women

9:59

who are sexually harassed or raped, God

10:01

forbid, if they tell a girlfriend or

10:03

something, that's considered admissible. So she

10:05

told people. Yeah, I don't think that people

10:07

that want them there believe it happened, but

10:09

I agree with you. We'll

10:12

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12:00

Moms of Toddlers and Best Trends of 20

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the fictional moms we love to

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Morning America, Pop Culture Moms is out

12:24

now wherever you listen to podcasts. We

12:29

had Ricky Martin on today. Adorable.

12:31

Yes. Total other side of

12:33

the spectrum. Every gay guy in the premises was going

12:36

nuts over him. They're all coming over. A lot of

12:38

women, too. Showing the picture of him. Yeah. He

12:40

talked about working with the great Carol Burnett. She's

12:42

so funny on this show, Pom Royal.

12:46

And even when she's in a coma, she's

12:48

funny on the show. Did she have influences

12:50

on you as an up and coming comedian?

12:52

Well, I was never an improv performer. She's

12:55

a sketch comedian. I never really was interested in that. Years

12:57

ago, you did a 92nd Street Y with her. Do you

12:59

remember doing that? I interviewed her because I used

13:01

to have a series there called Funny People.

13:04

And I interviewed everybody. Nathan Lane, all

13:06

the funny people. George Carlin, we're having

13:09

on tape with him, too. It's fantastic.

13:11

Yeah. No, she's someone I always kind

13:13

of she's a little before my era of

13:15

watching late night and things like that

13:17

in variety shows. But going back

13:19

and watching all that, she really wasn't. Well,

13:22

her show was hilarious. Really funny. Harvey Korma

13:24

showed great people around her. One

13:27

of the performances of hers that I really loved

13:29

was The Four Seasons, which was

13:31

a movie written and starring and directed

13:33

by Alan Older, my good friend.

13:36

And she was good in that show, boy. She

13:38

was good in that movie. If you have a

13:40

chance to watch that, I'll recommend it. I'll definitely

13:42

check it out, for sure. No, she's terrific. First

13:44

of all, the movie is great. And

13:46

you don't like a lot of movies. So for you

13:49

to say that, that's good. I like a lot of

13:51

movies. I'm always watching television. Generally, they have Nazis, and

13:53

this doesn't. No, this doesn't. Listen, I don't only watch

13:55

not only movies. No, that's true. I

13:57

mean, you know why I watch a lot of those

13:59

movies? Why? Because I cannot

14:01

fathom the depths of the evil that went

14:04

on. The specificity

14:06

of the evil is what fascinates me. You

14:09

know, now this movie, well, I've talked about this already,

14:12

the Zone of Interests, is a whole other way

14:14

to look at that period. No, you're

14:16

never going to run out of different ways to examine

14:18

this. No, I was just watching something called The Tattooist

14:20

of Auschwitz with Harvey Keitel as

14:22

an older Jewish guy who is reliving his time

14:24

there and how he fell in love with a

14:27

fellow inmate and how they escaped. There's a million

14:29

stories. It was a true story. It's interesting because

14:31

the other thing, the genre you and I have

14:33

in common is we both enjoy the mafia movies

14:35

also. Yes, I like mob movies too. It's dark

14:37

in it. But the thing about the mob

14:39

movies is I used to be insulted. I was

14:42

never insulted by a mob. I'm Italian-American, 92%

14:44

Italian. And

14:47

I never was insulted by the godfather

14:49

because it's a work of art and it's

14:51

about a specific group of people. People

14:54

need to go to Italy and see what the Italians

14:56

did. It's not about the mob. No,

14:59

it's definitely not. Everywhere you turn, when I was

15:01

there, I was looking at apartments just for fun.

15:03

I knew somebody there and she was showing me

15:05

around. They had apartments that they're renovating and

15:07

they stripped the wall. And there's

15:11

artwork underneath all the paint that's been there

15:13

from the 1500s. No,

15:15

I mean I adore the godfather, Goodfellas, all

15:17

those films, the Prados. It's unfortunate that it's

15:20

the number one connotation to being Italian as

15:22

the mafia in America. No, only for people

15:24

who ignorant things. I will

15:26

say, and I was in Venice

15:29

and I'm walking through St. Mark's Square late

15:31

at night and there's a

15:33

band playing the godfather walls. It

15:35

was awesome. It was a great

15:37

film. But

15:40

look at who made that movie, the most

15:42

brilliant Italian-American. For Coppola. Coppola,

15:44

his father, Nino Rotti wrote the music.

15:47

His sister is in it. And

15:50

Junero, Pacino. They're all in it. Brando.

15:53

Brando's not Italian. Pacino's not Italian. But he has the

15:55

vowel of the Italian. He's con not Italian. No, Jewish.

15:58

Same idea. Another person we

16:00

had on the show today who was terrific. I wish we

16:02

had more time today. Bakari Sellers was with us. Love him.

16:05

He's really great. He said

16:07

his father thinks that America has dipped back

16:09

into 1954. You've felt similarly in

16:11

some ways. Tell me what you thought of that. That we're going backwards.

16:15

Well, you know, if Trump gets in. I

16:17

was reading this morning about Putin. Putin

16:20

has now decided that all the

16:22

universities in Russia cannot now teach

16:25

the humanities or any kind of liberalism. Okay?

16:28

That's the first step towards really

16:30

clamping down. Now, that's already a dictatorial

16:32

state. That

16:34

will happen here because the professors who are thinking

16:36

always are the first ones to go. And

16:39

they don't like that the academia is somewhat

16:42

liberal, although with these kids now, I don't know what to make

16:44

of that. But

16:46

it will come, and I think that we have

16:48

to be very wary of this. It's not a good

16:50

thing if he's in office, besides the fact that he's

16:52

deplorable. We had terrible ideas. We

16:54

had a topic on the list today. This

16:56

is a little bit lighter. Yeah. We

16:59

didn't get to it, but you seemed to enjoy it in

17:01

the Hot Topics meeting. It was about a psychic who told

17:03

her friend that her husband was cheating on her, and it

17:05

broke them up. It turns out that

17:07

the wife had a private investigator follow this guy.

17:10

Now, no evidence that an affair happened. Now,

17:12

the wife wants the husband back. What

17:14

do you think about this? The husband is not a water back. Did

17:17

she imagine the whole thing? There's some crazy— The psychic told

17:19

her she's friends with the psychic. She's

17:21

friends with the psychic. Okay. She told her friend that her

17:23

husband was cheating on her. Well, that

17:25

psychic, so-called psychic, has an agenda. Yes.

17:29

Maybe she wants to break up the marriage. Maybe she's gay

17:31

and wants the wife. Oh, I like that. Are they

17:33

young? It doesn't say. Uh-huh.

17:36

Yeah. We don't know what she's up to,

17:38

that psychic. I like your scripted version of this. I like that. The way

17:40

people believe this— You're constantly looking for material for your plays. I can tell

17:42

this. Well, you know, I already

17:44

wrote a play. I have these plays called Bonkers

17:46

and the Burrows, and each play takes place in another

17:48

borough. Yes. The other one is

17:50

about a psychic. It's called Get Me Teresa Caputo.

17:52

Yeah. I'm in that one. We're

17:54

all excited about this because— Are you? Yeah,

17:57

yeah. The other one is about, you know, a woman who

17:59

is visited by Lenny Bruce. in the 50s and

18:02

another one finds out

18:04

that she does, she's not really Jewish. Somebody

18:07

comes and gives her 23andMe and

18:09

says, you're not Jewish. Panned about it. Based

18:11

on anyone we know. No,

18:13

but anyway, and then there are a couple of other ones.

18:16

So the question I have for you

18:18

is, I want to write five more bunkers

18:20

in the boroughs like to keep the series

18:22

going. Yeah, I think so. And do

18:24

you think I can write another one about a psychic or is that

18:27

repetitious? I think it's interesting. It's a little repetitious if

18:29

you're only doing a few. I feel like maybe you

18:31

have to like, if you come back for a second,

18:33

run. Well, I would do what I was

18:35

thinking since I'm in the play about the psychic.

18:37

I'll write another one with the same character now

18:40

has this issue. It's a sequel. That her sister,

18:42

what did you say to me just a minute

18:44

ago? The friend is a psychic and tells her

18:46

husband's cheating on her. Yes. So

18:48

at the end of your first one, is the

18:50

psychic considered legitimate or is she a fraud? Well,

18:52

the one me, the character believes at all. Right.

18:55

And then she calls, or you'll see. You didn't see them yet. No, I

18:57

wasn't able to get a ticket. It's a surprise. We're

19:00

looking for a theater. Hopefully, we're going to be

19:02

in the village in December maybe. As

19:04

long time listeners of the podcast know, I tried

19:06

to butter you up for a free ticket. It

19:08

never came. Because we were completely sold out. I

19:10

understand. No, it's great. It's great. But

19:14

a lot of the kids here came. They've

19:16

got freebies because it was a rehearsal show. Yes.

19:19

You didn't want to go to that. No, I've been

19:21

to other of your plays and I enjoyed it very

19:23

much. Yeah, but those were readings. Well, I liked it.

19:25

It's an actual performance. It's a nice performance. Okay. Well,

19:28

at the readings, you also had various cast members from the Sopranos there. So

19:30

I was very excited about that. I did. All right.

19:33

We have a question from the audience. I know you enjoy these.

19:35

This is from Bonnie in Pennsylvania. Bonnie writes, I

19:37

am the same age as you and I have never

19:39

been shy about telling my age. I commend

19:42

you for revealing that you and Joe Biden are the

19:44

same age. This proves

19:46

that we're intelligent, clear thinking,

19:48

quick-witted, wise individuals. Was

19:50

it a difficult decision to disclose your age?

19:52

Yes. It's not that great. I

19:54

mean, not that easy. I had a much harder time when I

19:56

was 60. Right.

19:58

Because I still wanted to. be in the game.

20:01

At this age, I don't have great aspirations

20:03

that my age is going to be an issue.

20:05

I have to tell you, it's really a boon

20:07

for the show. The fact that we're in the

20:09

middle of possibly

20:12

the most consequential presidential race of

20:14

all time, where their age is

20:16

a primary topic every single day,

20:19

having one of our hosts be that

20:21

age is very helpful for the show.

20:23

It's relevant. It's helpful for Joe Biden.

20:25

It's helpful for Joe Biden. Yeah, I think so too. I

20:28

might be the oldest person on daytime television. You

20:30

might be. I don't think

20:32

that. I don't know. Wolf Blitzer? He's

20:34

not on daytime. No. I think

20:36

he's three years younger than me. Yeah. I

20:38

don't even look at. No. But

20:42

I think it's really actually extraordinarily relevant and we're

20:44

very lucky to have you. I don't believe in

20:46

age at all. I really don't. No. I

20:49

mean, I don't think you're right. I don't think age is anything to

20:51

be ashamed of and quite the opposite. No. This

20:53

is what it is. It's a reality. Why would

20:55

you be ashamed of reality? You're also far

20:58

from the oldest ever view host because Barbara was

21:00

much older than you. Barbara was older than when

21:02

she left. Yeah. Well, you

21:04

happen to be lucky with me in the fact that I

21:06

will know when it's time to go. You don't have to

21:08

tell me. Right. And not

21:10

because I'm going to be like daughtering old

21:12

and I'm behind, but

21:15

because it'll be enough already. I

21:17

mean, at this point, it's still interesting to me, the show. Right.

21:20

Well, I think and I think you feel a

21:23

responsibility to be speaking truth. I do. People

21:25

stop me all the time. Thank you for speaking

21:27

out. You know, I was in King Cullen

21:30

the other day and three people stopped me

21:32

about Trump. They want him out. What are

21:34

we going to do? Yeah, there you

21:36

go. Yeah. There you go. See,

21:38

people do recognize you. Oh, that's another thing. Okay. We're

21:41

talking last time on this podcast. Yes. About

21:44

how I wasn't recognized in Italy except one

21:46

small time and they decided it wasn't me.

21:49

Yes. And I, good. I mean,

21:51

you specifically said you don't want to be recognized. And

21:53

then a headline in one of these right wing rags

21:55

writes joy upset that you wasn't recognized.

21:58

I was not upset with that. I liked it.

22:00

I don't feel like doing I'm on vacation. Why

22:03

would I want to be recognized? I have just

22:05

the right level of Fame.

22:07

No. Yeah, you don't have that level

22:10

of narcissism It's John Mulaney who's a

22:12

very very funny Santa lady. Yeah, he

22:14

did a Netflix special talking about his

22:16

time in rehab And he said

22:18

that his initial made me laugh very hard

22:20

They said his initial fear when he got there

22:22

is that everyone would recognize him and it was

22:24

quickly replaced by another fear Nobody

22:27

knew who the hell he was And he

22:29

started leaving the newspaper out with articles about him being in

22:31

rehab for the other addicts to see

22:33

it's very funny Well, we don't know if he's just

22:35

being funny or if he means it sure but either

22:37

way we maybe left Yeah. All right.

22:39

Thank you for joining me the

22:41

the saga of Steven you in the car went

22:44

pretty far that was good I like that. Well,

22:46

we're fine now. Yeah, of course. We

22:49

don't really fight. We don't care Do you did the

22:51

whole don't go to bed angry thing? Is that

22:53

a thing for you or no? No, I don't agree with that.

22:55

No, you go to bed angry. I can't

22:57

go. There you go. I Don't

23:00

usually wake up angry. I will say like if I go to bed

23:02

angry, I'm usually over it in the morning Oh, especially if I have

23:04

a sex dream I wake

23:07

up happy. All right. Well, you know We

23:10

should all be so lucky. All right. Thank you

23:12

for joining me today joy tomorrow I'll be back

23:14

with Sarah Haynes as always we want

23:16

to hear from you So check the episode description for

23:19

the number to our behind the table hotline Give us

23:21

a caller attached leave us a rating and review you

23:23

haven't been doing it as much lately and I enjoy

23:25

Thank you for listening and we'll see you tomorrow Step

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