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gonna be here all day, baby. I like that

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kind of party. Welcome back

1:45

to the Way Back. I'm Ryan

1:47

Sickler, ryansickler.com and ryansickler on all

1:49

your social media. Look,

1:52

man, I'm very excited about this show

1:54

here. Very excited to have our guest

1:56

on today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

1:58

Sam Tallant. Hello, everyone. An honor to

2:00

be back on. This story progresses other day long

2:02

history to this thing that they gave me a

2:05

man i you know when I was a boy

2:07

has third and stand up by so they can

2:09

our way to be on the way back. we

2:11

really have like did you ever have ah so

2:13

this also obviously is about sit in the back

2:16

to that station wagon face now the bag year

2:18

old times this thousand did you ever have ah

2:20

I'm all me as good as what was your

2:22

favorite like family card you have one that you

2:24

actually loved. I. Loved my grandfather's pickup

2:27

trucks will com where that I don't know

2:29

just like or the everywhere will to for

2:31

a so he's aboard a I think so

2:33

we just. He'd. Pick us up with

2:35

pile in the back of their. Ah,

2:37

A ride in the back of the bed? Of

2:39

course. What's the point of going to? grandfather? Your

2:42

kids that active death wish know my my parent

2:44

my dad had a bunch of Volkswagens that had

2:46

like the upholstery the was probably his best. Us

2:49

and my good you word are getting some kind

2:51

of fender bender. You just burst into flames and

2:53

melt. And I never really care

2:55

too much for those. We had Pathfinders. My

2:57

mom made a hard line Pathfinder move right

2:59

around when I was ten or twelve as

3:01

a good nice on every now and then

3:03

they would smoke like the the toy cigarettes

3:05

in there may be like when no one

3:07

smokes and then you you grow up in

3:09

mine are they find out they are. Barely

3:11

Might add a Marlboro For our thirty five

3:13

years since. I

3:16

was a nice on vacation me like hey

3:18

what are those America sphere blues. Eight

3:20

it's knows how to roll it out

3:22

right away when you're like oh okay

3:24

Dad, they're very good arm. We were

3:26

talking about your dad before and now

3:28

you've done on a rat point. Add

3:30

value their arrival programs you death are

3:32

sisters. Oh yes. Ah, You mentioned that

3:34

your Dad was a coach for you

3:36

grown up fear or since the ah

3:38

that life is the best Who's the

3:40

head football coach from third grade and

3:42

till middle school until seventh grade? And.

3:45

The first year we one zero games and

3:48

then we never lost the game for the

3:50

last three years. For real, Yeah, we dominated

3:52

any maybe. Did it helped that his son

3:54

was five ten and two hundred and twenty

3:57

pounds in fifth grade? Sure. Did they have

3:59

to like. Special rule as a night like

4:01

fifty thousand a weird since grade yeah was

4:03

used to say. Now they made a rule

4:05

that you couldn't one of directly over the

4:07

over the center if you were a nose

4:09

guard because I would just physically move the

4:12

center into the quarterback I would have like

4:14

twenty five sacks and a game they may

4:16

rules around vs. the as I knew you

4:18

were a dominant player that so I knew

4:20

I had childhood obesity. Though

4:23

I knew that are. Specific

4:26

society to my joints we're going to dirt

4:29

of know there was. Only

4:32

after a fire arthritis aussi very close

4:34

and kiwi ball field the Everly or

4:36

browse like I've i'm the best ever

4:38

played a game and then you I

4:40

know he's a tiger of and I

4:42

have them. If. I can be candid,

4:44

a group and like an all white and

4:46

then you go to middle school and you're

4:48

playing. Ah. You. Know. Denver.

4:51

And. They had some felons. they could do

4:53

things I'd never seen happen and. I

4:56

realized I was just a wad. I.

4:58

Was effectively just like a beanbag chair that sat

5:00

in the middle. The feals I remember seeing like

5:02

when we play like the black kids were all

5:04

was all white athletes as dumb. None of my.

5:07

This. Guy slip in in the warm up

5:09

yeah I've never seen anybody flip and I

5:11

slip and in the warm up and also

5:13

the Why river. One kid had a visor

5:15

that was tinted and I was is automatically

5:17

terrified. He was a D and I was

5:19

attack on. I was like this going to

5:21

the long as they ever and indeed it

5:24

was So was your dad. Was he harder

5:26

on you because he was your codes or

5:28

anything like that or what? Now he was

5:30

beloved by all. My dad just did contact.

5:32

We're full contact practice all the time. Oklahoma

5:34

drills. All. My friends I grew up

5:36

playing football where the glimmer when your dad would

5:38

step on our stomachs who do like less than

5:40

he would walk our stomachs. see all the other

5:43

teams were like running these like very complex games

5:45

and we had Jesse can dig. Laugh Jesse can

5:47

dig right? Clay. Raider up the middle

5:49

and we just would put up like forty

5:51

nine points on everybody weise to have coaches

5:54

like thing of i'm fifty so I got

5:56

you by plenty. Years your life, my little

5:58

corner years. his name was. Well over

6:00

an hour. I look back at a

6:02

now is probably. Twenty. Seven

6:05

twenty Eight years be twenty five you

6:07

know genes. tight athletic shirts, ball cap,

6:09

tinted glasses are there were the transition

6:11

the Harlem yes arm and always smoking

6:14

a cigarette and I'm going on the

6:16

sideline not only on the sideline a

6:18

practice in the dugout like and always

6:21

reaching around you to show you how

6:23

to but with the cigarette bird and

6:25

always always a large doses of like

6:27

is like the of but it's see

6:30

the if you're burning issue out of

6:32

my salem in my even if. If

6:34

if I fail at the I. Realized

6:37

I had a coach same day and Peter

6:39

suckers my baseball from kindergarten all the way

6:42

through eighth grade and were like them. Damn,

6:44

Peters is the man. And. Then we

6:46

found out the damn Peters is beautiful

6:48

wife. Her brother grew some of

6:50

the best pot northern california and he had an

6:52

abundance of it's we were like med dem so

6:55

funny and chill and as you grow up and

6:57

you like you know there with his son you're

6:59

digging through his top drawer and use find the

7:01

first sounds you've ever seen you're like oh this

7:03

explains his patience or me when I could swear

7:05

to announce when I couldn't dig the curve ball

7:07

out this is why he would just be out

7:09

there are my long as you know was going

7:12

to go home and run into fish my would

7:14

steal signs that was my saying how could I

7:16

would i was play baseball I was so bad

7:18

a baseball. I could. I was a big

7:20

kid but I couldn't power hit. So. They were

7:22

just like put Me in left field I'm

7:24

and I remember like watching and stealing the

7:27

signs for like stealing bases or whatever and

7:29

I would is yell out like. Is.

7:31

Your steel. And the coaches of

7:33

the they would have these meetings that like at the

7:35

man that like Sam's out there stealing signs, He's.

7:38

Twelve years old. What are you teaching these

7:40

kids? Dan And never Dan is I learned

7:42

than the word he said. He's precocious. For

7:47

like I'm not going to stop him from

7:49

doing that. It is an asset is not

7:51

helping in any way. That running down long

7:53

fly balls legitimate like gum. did you have

7:55

any like local athlete that was just like

7:58

the stuff like that guy's the one. Know

8:00

what? I do remember every cool fat kid

8:02

growing up why it may as he was

8:04

a tank he will ah man yeah why

8:06

amazed would show up at the have a

8:08

big lipper in on his bicycle how old

8:11

he lived down the street from my grandpa

8:13

so I saw why are you free fourteen

8:15

in the slammer? Fear or it by on

8:17

icicles oh yes and daddy is called up

8:19

every had a girlfriend knows why it's cool

8:21

and then I got sir high school and

8:24

I was at a party and why it

8:26

was probably like twenty years at his high

8:28

school party and he had a girl. Sitting

8:30

on his lap who was my

8:32

age and I was like he's

8:34

the best and anything back in

8:36

are like so what was he

8:38

doing that ensure that every oh

8:40

no he wasn't the man on

8:42

oh dear now by when I

8:45

was I was i was seven

8:47

it came to football but was

8:49

your gimme like best game or

8:51

best day or best moment the

8:53

still think about? Well I can

8:55

quantify it in that behind his

8:57

senior year are running back on

8:59

the varsity team. Ah he set

9:01

the or he hits the first been rushing

9:03

record for the entire state. Damn yeah so

9:05

he put up for just a new about

9:07

the form. Yes I've never once my coach

9:10

had a bounty on pancake blocks you from

9:12

over the paying block. We put some on

9:14

the back and he was like anytime I

9:16

see a pancake out there getting a sticker

9:18

and then if you for pancakes year after

9:21

run. On Thursdays before

9:23

games or one time yelling over to

9:25

my coach I was laying on top

9:27

of three boys at once as like

9:29

coast. Has gotta be good for one

9:31

practice off and he just laughed really

9:33

hard but he didn't recounted all is

9:36

one panels on at Marie Road.i'll never

9:38

forget answers and his name was Chris

9:40

Klein and Coach Klein was from Water

9:42

Boy. Odds were I yes

9:44

I'm at all of my god he

9:46

we rain how upon him with Coach

9:49

Klein Coach Bear it was more offensive

9:51

line coach in high school and I

9:53

remember this kid broke his femur in

9:55

the snow hitting the sled. And.

9:58

bear was like walk it off jag And

10:00

the kid was screaming and crying in front of a bunch of

10:03

young men You don't scream and cry unless you're in a lot

10:05

of pain as a young man I remember

10:07

coach Barrett going over and just dragging him like

10:09

20 feet across the snow to remove him from

10:11

the sled and then Carrying on and then lo

10:14

and behold broken femur which is like the strongest

10:16

bone in your body Yeah, he did like he

10:18

did the heart punch a lot this kid Billy

10:20

Johnson got hurt What's up? Well, he would just

10:23

be like you'd be like like your wins knocked

10:25

out even Barrett be like stand back I got

10:27

this anyone over and he just took his fist.

10:29

Well, I pounded a child right on the sternum. Yes

10:44

Billy Johnson was like the scout team

10:46

quarterback, you know five five maybe 110

10:49

pounds and Barrett's big hand right

10:51

on his chest Yeah Coach

10:55

Barrett gave me and my buddy David

10:58

pornos for our senior graduation coach. Yeah,

11:00

you're 18. Yeah, we were 18 Yeah,

11:03

he gave us his favorite porno

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draft kings.com/promos. Wait,

13:25

it was a hand me down. It was a

13:27

VHS tape in 2005. He

13:29

gave it the tape. Yeah. It's got color on

13:31

it. Oh yeah. It was glazed. Terrible.

13:34

Yeah. It was like, yeah. What did,

13:36

uh, what was it? Uh,

13:38

you remember, I can't remember the name of it, but

13:40

there was a really cool two girls, one guy scene.

13:42

Oh my God. I remember me and David watched it

13:44

like kind of like, Oh, this is crazy. You're watching

13:46

a porno tape. Our coach gave us. And then like,

13:49

when that scene came on, we were both immediately

13:51

very quiet. Okay.

13:54

Hold on. So what's the move here? Have

13:57

you remember how you like gave it to you? Like

13:59

how. presented so this who gave

14:01

us that for a graduation but

14:03

it was the most improved let's

14:07

do girls one guy video right here we

14:09

had we had a big team dinner

14:12

for the offensive

14:17

linemen and I remember him asking me and David

14:19

because he liked us and we were funny and

14:21

he's like hey Sam David you guys like blow

14:23

jobs we were we were

14:27

fat boys you know I'd never had touched my

14:29

penis at this point me and David being like

14:31

of course coach all the fellas love blow jobs

14:33

and he's like y'all gotta go to Tijuana five

14:35

bucks a blow job he's telling you yeah like

14:37

over the table while the other offensive line there

14:39

think looking back how old do you think he

14:41

was at the time I put him at 35

14:43

he owned he had a bunch of money because

14:47

he owned an excavation company and he just like

14:49

dig trenches and then he would come with just

14:51

a giant horseshoe of dip he

14:54

thought he invented sharding he

14:57

what he thought he invented sharding what do you mean

14:59

so there was a kid named Evan and he sharded

15:01

on the field and I remember he had to come

15:03

out of the game and in coach

15:06

was like why do you pull them out and he's like

15:08

well he sharded and coach was like what's that it's like

15:10

well he farted and he shit his pants and coach was

15:12

like there's a name for that I do it all the

15:14

time he

15:17

didn't know it had been coined he didn't

15:19

know it was a cultural phenomenon he

15:28

was a part of yeah I

15:30

do that all the time and then like

15:32

that he just wouldn't talk about yeah like he

15:34

was like it was a curse that he

15:36

carried alone forever yeah

15:39

there it was a man lead nothing to

15:41

the future these guys yeah oh the greatest

15:44

I wonder what the hell happened to him

15:46

I hopefully he's got I

15:48

remember his whole thing he played

15:50

football at Colorado State University and he kept

15:52

telling us like and you know the softball

15:54

team they said they were lesbians I'll

15:57

be the judge of that when I was at CSU Those

16:00

girls said they didn't want to play ball and then they

16:02

got a big bat in their hands and they wanted to

16:04

play ball and I'm like 17 like Please

16:09

stop How

16:11

about your you have any childhood fears?

16:13

Yes, I had an abundance you did

16:15

Oh, yeah, like what clowns and heights

16:18

why clowns cuz when I was a

16:20

wee boy Remember the first it came

16:23

out starring Timothy Curry Yeah, and

16:25

I had older cousins Alita and Sarah Fernandez.

16:27

He's the older cousin dude I

16:29

never had older boy cousins older girl

16:32

cousins. They are sent from

16:34

hell they are here

16:36

just to like encourage a psychic trauma upon

16:38

you and I remember they made

16:40

me watch it and then they locked me in a

16:42

chest like a trunk No Yeah,

16:44

they locked me in a trunk and then they were stood outside and

16:46

they're like Sam Do you want to get out and I'd be like

16:48

more than anything and they're like Pennywise is out here, but leave me

16:51

I'm in there for like three hours The

16:54

clowns man, what do you got Kirsten? How

16:56

did you cope with your fears as a child? You have

16:59

any strategies or mechanisms? How

17:01

did I cope? Obviously, did you have any

17:03

in soda pop? Yeah,

17:06

just know ginger rails not bad for you.

17:08

It's made of ginger Did you have any

17:10

like forts or escape plans or did you

17:12

ever worry about anyone breaking in? Like I

17:14

had a friend of mine Tammy and she

17:17

was like I have this whole thing

17:19

set up I'm like what she's like if someone breaks in I

17:22

her bed was up against the wall She would roll between

17:24

her bed in the wall and go down under it She

17:27

thought she could roll out of it and get out

17:29

of there. I was like you're you're gonna get shot

17:31

nine She's gonna log roll out Go

17:34

out of there. Yeah You

17:39

had a good run Tim I don't you know

17:42

what was scary dude is what I read a

17:44

lot as a kid again precocious and I remember

17:46

reading in cold blood the trimming Capote a true

17:48

crime and That

17:50

house was in like the exact same that in

17:52

cold blood house was in Kansas And it was

17:55

looked exactly like the house I grew up in

17:57

and also it was very far removed from the

17:59

rest of society much like my house and

18:01

I used to have dreams all the time

18:03

that me and my family were brutally murdered.

18:06

You would see that? Oh I would be

18:08

there I'd be tied up in the chair

18:10

I'd see my dad get the axe handled

18:12

to the back of his head like full-scale

18:14

annihilation. How often are you dreaming that? Oh

18:16

dude I had these dreams constantly

18:19

they were pervasive until I I

18:22

think I had one I stayed at my dad's

18:24

house my mom's my mom and dad's house like

18:26

three months ago and I had one a couple

18:28

days later the same dream that I was an

18:30

adult. There's something in there. Oh dude my house

18:32

is so old people were born in there they

18:34

died in there the the main part of my house

18:36

was in Colorado 1890 yeah yeah it was a school house

18:41

and there was like some kind of Spanish flu

18:43

epidemic wiped out all the kids in that house.

18:45

Oh man yeah dude it was bad. Damn you

18:47

got spirits in there. Oh yeah I don't really

18:49

believe in life. Well come on the odds of

18:51

that happening and it's the same type of dream

18:53

over and over then you leave and it doesn't

18:56

happen then you come back and spend a night

18:58

and it happens. Yeah no interesting. It could also

19:00

in sense memory I could have like smelt the

19:02

sheets in the house but yeah

19:04

no I do know that there's was like a

19:06

better therapy or anything for that you talked to

19:08

your mom about that. No I'm a man.

19:10

I'm just gonna drink ginger ale. I just

19:13

smoked cigarettes in the kitchen with the lights

19:15

off and put my hand over the burner.

19:17

Mom we didn't like a

19:19

crybaby you know that's that kind of thing yeah.

19:22

Alright what do we have over there Kirsten let's

19:24

get another one in there. Does looking back

19:26

you see any connections between your childhood fears

19:29

and your artistic or creative pursuit as an

19:31

adult? What a nice question.

19:33

What a well-phrased question. No.

19:40

That would involve some level of introspection. I

19:42

do not look inward as much as I

19:44

possibly can. I do think that growing up

19:48

I didn't have a lot of fears. Everyone was really

19:50

nice to me and I was coddled. I

19:52

feared my mom and dad fighting and that's how I got good at crowd

19:54

work. Yeah he'd be like dad

19:57

what's going on with you? and

20:00

my mom's rocking slowly, you know, pouring another drink.

20:02

Yeah, I think that's the only real ramifications of

20:04

any kind of trauma or fear I suffered. I

20:07

didn't want anyone to be mad. I was always

20:09

that way too. I didn't want anybody to be

20:11

mad, but boy, I would get mad. But I

20:13

also think now like, my dad

20:16

used to make me, when we come home from school,

20:18

it was get your homework done, get it done right,

20:20

and then you can go out and play. Yeah. You're

20:23

not doing anything until you get your

20:25

responsibilities done. So I've carried that over

20:27

into my life. All right, Kirsten, one

20:29

more. Sam, are there any specific

20:31

activities or hobbies that you feel Crocs are

20:33

well suited for? Ha ha ha.

20:36

That's a great one. The

20:38

airport, dude. The airport and the beach.

20:41

Dude, Crocs, I came in here wearing the Crocs.

20:43

I refused to wear them on camera because I

20:45

didn't want a bunch of people thinking I was

20:47

a croc guy, even though they

20:49

dominate my home footwear regimen because I like to

20:51

be shoeless at home. Do you go, what's a

20:54

call when you flip up the back? I forget.

20:56

I don't know. There's modes. Sports mode. Sports

20:58

mode. You wear them

21:00

sports or you flip them up and fly them

21:03

in? I put my bloated feet in and

21:05

I say, God, I can't believe

21:07

I took 80 steps today. I'm

21:10

not doing anything sport mode related. Crocs are

21:12

for the plus size guy who doesn't want

21:14

to admit that things have gone too far.

21:17

You know what I mean? He doesn't want to admit

21:19

that things are out of control, he's lost the battle.

21:23

If it's one piece of molded

21:25

plastic because Velcro's too much, you

21:27

really got to figure shit out. But

21:30

I do like them at the airport because you don't have to

21:33

worry about taking your sneakers off. I've

21:36

tried to make my airline

21:39

airport experience so,

21:42

what's the word? Streamlined?

21:45

Efficient? That yeah, Crocs are definitely

21:47

a big part of that. My sister got a point

21:49

for Christmas because she said, well, David Voorhe has them

21:51

and Alex Creasy has them. These are two of the

21:54

fattest men I know. I

21:56

was like, well, why am I lumped in with this? Why

21:58

am I giving up? Yeah. Sophie I

22:00

didn't throw the flag into the ring yet,

22:02

you know, so anyway They're really

22:04

good for the beach too because I love the water

22:06

But sometimes you step on like a shell or something.

22:09

Yeah, that's you ever Accessorize those crocs

22:11

you ever put a giblet in there. No,

22:13

that's asinine and it when I see

22:15

adult men with Shoe

22:17

accessory you do see adult men with stuff in

22:20

their car. Yeah, I would do it if my

22:22

daughter game to sure Tattoos

22:25

on my hand right now is my niece

22:27

gave him to me Yeah, but no, it's

22:29

like this is your personality cool plastic shoe

22:31

guy. Oh This is

22:33

what you're hanging your hat on now What because

22:35

you couldn't find a bowler hat that fits now

22:38

you got to be cool plastic shoe guy No,

22:40

I would never ever I mean I'm upset that

22:42

we're even talking about me Yes,

22:52

yeah this this I'm furious Cassie what

22:54

have you done? Yeah,

22:58

thank you, too, dude. Thanks for being here

23:01

for this Oh dude, what are you doing

23:03

this episode with us? Good at this? That's

23:05

nice You let people talk and then when

23:07

I run out of steam your introspective and

23:09

you do a great story about some lady

23:11

faking a heart Attack or whatever Yeah,

23:16

no, you're so good at this Please

23:18

plug and promote everything one more time Sam

23:20

talent comm ta ll ent as all my

23:22

tour dates I'll be in Europe. I'll be

23:24

in Australia. I'll be all over all

23:27

over the United States get tickets to those shows

23:29

and You can

23:31

follow me at Sam talent on Instagram.

23:34

Listen my podcast chubby behemoth Which I

23:36

always forget to promote and

23:38

my co-host thinks that I'm doing it on

23:40

purpose chubby behemoth. That's right Does

23:42

he wear Crocs as well? No, he can't you can't

23:44

see his feet What's he

23:46

wear? He has a wheelchair He's

23:52

never been faster, yeah No,

23:55

I don't know he wears like vans it's like

23:57

dude you're 300 pounds quit punishing

23:59

the ground Alright

24:04

guys, I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler

24:06

on all your social media, ryansickler.com. Get

24:09

your tickets to see me on tour

24:11

at ryansickler.com. Talk to you all next

24:13

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