No one wakes up in the morning thinking, “I’d like to argue with my spouse today,” but all healthy marriages experience conflict. It's normal! So, how do you navigate conflict well and come to resolutions with your spouse without damaging your marriage? This episode isn’t meant to answer every question related to conflict, but it will begin unearthing the origins of conflict as well as the cycle of conflict aka the “fear dance.” How does conflict start? What are your “buttons,” and where do they come from? What should you do when you are aware your buttons are being pushed? Listen to this episode to learn more, so next time you and your spouse find yourself in a disagreement, you’ll have a broader understanding of what is happening.  

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Time Stamps:

(1:02) Breaking down the structure of conflict aka the “fear dance”

(4:52) Understanding your “buttons” and what to do when they’re pushed

(7:50) If you react to your buttons being pushed, what’s next?

(14:20) Harsh start-up versus gentle start-up

(20:05) Is it OK to get a third party involved?

(21:43) Is it OK to agree to disagree?

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/  

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/05/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-Ep7-2.pdf 

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Relevant Resources:

“Four Steps To Repairing Conflict With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/4-steps-to-repairing-conflict/

“Is It OK To Agree To Disagree With My Spouse?” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/is-it-ok-to-agree-to-disagree-with-my-spouse/  

“How To Stop Arguing With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-stop-arguing-with-your-spouse/  

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

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Relevant Episodes:

Ep 4 | Don’t Fall for These 7 Marriage Myths About Conflict https://youtu.be/tFQrzCRVH1E?si=1adlsOt9I_Bk8Arq