0:02

This is a global player

0:04

Original Podcast. Deals.

0:15

Will come back to the final episode of

0:17

Series five of The Witching. Why? Tools We

0:19

Are Why? Told Towers and I have had

0:22

to up my game. Big time. Because

0:24

have we got a stunning.

0:27

Treat for you d else

0:29

we have an amazing guest.

0:31

somebody who unbelievably actually not

0:33

the unbelievable given his age.

0:35

The somebody is no Michael

0:37

Whitehall for. Longer than I have so

0:40

not only ever had to up my game.

0:42

Because she knows Michael Michael better than

0:44

I do in many ways, because she's

0:46

known him in another life. But

0:48

also she is the most beautiful woman

0:50

that I know in. The World. So

0:53

I have literally had to up my

0:55

game on the frock front because that's

0:57

anything I can offer. Have gone sparkly

0:59

the else of go major sparkly with

1:01

the Christmas present that Molly gave me

1:03

a very nice sequence shirt. Vintage.

1:06

From a vintage shop in Amsterdam. And.

1:10

Some silver shoes that Molly gave me years

1:12

ago. I like to wear old things as

1:14

well. I never throw anything away. At

1:17

because you know I love all

1:19

things as why met Mike White

1:21

or not I could see that

1:23

coming up with i can see

1:26

all that but I love building

1:28

I target she got about my.

1:31

But let me please. Introduce you

1:34

to the wonderful, beautiful,

1:36

talented, witty, intelligent, gorgeous.

1:38

Guess that is here

1:41

today! Miss Patricia Hugs.

1:46

Yeah. Here Well the any way from there is

1:49

down here. Listen, it. Up at my.

1:51

Lai Lai your tank with now Henry Patricia

1:53

It's lovely to see you and you know

1:56

is I have trailed in my intro for

1:58

you You have no matter what. Not

2:00

longer than I have I. I have

2:03

actually. Reduce. The made

2:05

a lot. Of that sounds

2:07

very close as much. We have been

2:09

married for nearly forty so I was

2:11

a years which was in fifty years

2:13

ago or men the main reason we

2:15

met because I always suggested you know

2:17

lunch so. Mazuz. Me

2:20

lunch but sometimes dinner. Gonna

2:22

wear this is going reason

2:24

that wouldn't I suggest studies,

2:26

lunches and dinners and they're

2:28

role A complete joy was

2:31

to try and a very

2:33

casual way. I mean very

2:35

very casual you know just

2:37

sensing about showbiz in my

2:39

life and petitions my son

2:41

of sam man if it

2:44

was sacked kind of get

2:46

together but I'd always try

2:48

and is a hurry pain.

2:51

That. Although. I had

2:54

a a very good Timeless have

2:56

lots of very good actors and

2:58

on a few actresses the was.

3:01

Always. Some little

3:03

space somewhere. On.

3:05

My list. For.

3:08

Someone called. Patricia.

3:11

Pods. And data

3:13

I try to the are

3:15

off to yeah lunch after

3:17

lunch holiday asked all unable

3:20

to come on to that

3:22

will come on signing day

3:24

and none of the ever

3:26

worms never work. I'd.

3:28

Love you Michael As a friend

3:30

that was kind of the message

3:32

flight right to he ever I

3:35

know he's fantastic became thrive on

3:37

of them Less yes said I

3:39

love use of friend I don't

3:41

wanna mess it up by our

3:43

of close close friendship. By.

3:45

Taking on a set

3:47

age, And.

3:51

Us then avoiding the

3:53

hallways yoga. Bang. And

3:55

agents. And then we'd fall owls. and

3:57

then it would know that made more

3:59

horrible. With the best the point Michael.

4:01

So here we are all these years later.

4:04

Town and I absolutely Adore your

4:06

wife. And I absolutely adore you.

4:08

And nothing is ever come to change

4:11

That. So. That's.

4:13

Said. I think I made the right decision.

4:15

ruinous I say old adage host soon and

4:17

a mix business with pleasure and and I

4:19

could demise from afar. Throw you did field

4:22

lines. Of with you know oh

4:24

oh whisper then they here in there. Some

4:26

because you were a formidable agent. But

4:28

the the important thing is to preserve. The

4:32

relationship them. The up as. He

4:34

delves into the pleasure, but list

4:36

the business. You. Got it? Yeah.

4:39

I think we should crack on with

4:41

our first email and I'm going to

4:43

let you read. It mindless own one

4:45

I'm afraid. got it is wrong

4:47

that's are involved to I rang

4:49

me madam rehearsal Ra Snow. And

4:52

also could I just say deals? It is quite

4:54

long. Stats are involved, you will have to concentrate.

4:57

Their wines holes. I was doing a

5:00

bit of googling mail the day. For.

5:02

No reason other than being

5:04

bored at work. I

5:06

was looking at the popularity

5:09

of names of babies over

5:11

the years. I'm sure

5:13

you might be aware. But.

5:15

throughout the nineteen nineties and

5:18

two thousand. The.

5:20

Name Michael has slowly

5:23

decline in popularity. I

5:26

wasn't aware that. However

5:28

I know says in

5:30

the days arrived as

5:32

book he had obtained

5:34

from babies censor.co don't

5:36

uk. The. Has been

5:39

a no simple trend.

5:41

Oh. The. Western Wind

5:43

Solar Storm that into our

5:45

lives in podcast forms during

5:48

the Summer of Twenty Twenty

5:50

Two. At. Which point

5:52

Michael Sas number sixty

5:54

four in the charts,

5:58

fast forward to the

6:00

data for 2023 and the name meaning who is

6:02

like God in Hebrew. Oh

6:09

yes, I think that definitely

6:11

fits the bill for somebody that

6:13

we know. Just

6:16

remind me what it is again. Means

6:18

who is like God. Well you

6:20

certainly behave like God on a

6:22

number of occasions, that's for sure,

6:24

quite regularly. Yes,

6:28

and the name meaning

6:30

who is like God

6:32

in Hebrew has jumped

6:34

eight places to number

6:36

56. Michael.

6:39

So far for

6:41

2024, Michael is

6:43

holding its own up

6:46

another four places at number 52. Who

6:50

knows, perhaps another strong

6:52

campaign from the WWs

6:55

this year could push

6:57

Michael back into the

6:59

top 50. Oh hello,

7:01

yeah, unlikely but we'll give it

7:03

a go. Now over to

7:05

the other side of the sofa, whichever

7:08

side you've been sitting on this week.

7:11

Well interestingly for the purposes of clarity I'm actually

7:13

sitting in the middle because of course we have the delightful

7:15

Patricia Hodge with us. So she's one end, Michael's the other.

7:18

She's playing tennis in the middle. It's

7:20

a Hillary sandwich. Yes. Hillary, you

7:22

may think that your name is

7:24

simply too rare to feature in

7:26

such lists. Very polite

7:28

of him to say, rare. Unpopular.

7:33

For rare, read unpopular. Yeah,

7:35

naff even. Wrong.

7:39

What can I put up with? In fact,

7:41

I have some similarly

7:43

encouraging data. Hillary

7:45

is taken of course from

7:48

the Latin hilarious or

7:51

hilarious, meaning

7:53

cheerful. Which I, so again I'll take

7:55

that. So your name is very apt for

7:57

you, mine is apt for me. Have

8:00

you gotten garden Shed for

8:02

showing acting like God and

8:05

cheerful? In

8:09

twenty twenty two with Twenty

8:11

six and there is using

8:13

the baby's palm mentally and

8:16

sours I found he keeps

8:18

finding always sound Nora North

8:20

and and said area. By.

8:23

Twenty twenty three that

8:25

Sega jumps to Sixty

8:27

Six babies power mainly

8:29

in. Snow. A law

8:31

is it in some is of

8:34

itself, has this oh yeah that

8:36

listed his race from number three

8:39

thousand, nine Hundred and sixteen. And.

8:42

Twenty Twenty two? Yeah,

8:44

So. Number one, thousand, Nine Hundred

8:46

and Sixty. say not as close

8:48

a leading Twenty Twenty Three. I

8:50

can say that said, some. Of

8:53

one thousand nine hundred and

8:56

forty nine places. Okay, so

8:58

I've oversee reverse the trend that was set by

9:00

Hillary Clinton knew I would imagine had it tumbling

9:03

down the other way. I

9:05

would have thought for pillory, do.

9:07

They. Who are? Yes, yeah, maybe jumped

9:09

is up a bit. yeah. She was

9:11

a dragon. And Dragons day I am

9:14

now. Since. Nine continue his

9:16

interest Swank? sorry yeah the at

9:18

Tony's yeah no one hundred. And

9:22

twenty twenty two the with

9:24

twenty six Harrys using the

9:26

baby's permitted an charts I'd

9:28

sounds are you still with

9:31

this says they see I'm

9:33

Steven as so Cb style

9:35

nothing in to these towns

9:38

he's walking across them kitchen

9:40

floor. one bad says oh

9:42

god good that's the said

9:45

Saw nothing else on. Line

9:47

might lead to the this is a physical. China's

9:49

her again. I'm.

9:52

Not a professional

9:54

statistician. Status.

9:56

station to another another on has since

9:58

i'm also prefer a professional

10:01

statistician. Better. However,

10:03

I'm confident in my

10:05

conclusion that the wittering

10:07

Whitehalls has been nothing

10:10

short of a seismic

10:12

cultural wave that has

10:14

brought the names Michael and Hilary

10:17

storming back into

10:19

public affection. Yay!

10:22

Oh dear, he's got

10:24

a very fertile imagination is all I can say.

10:27

Leave up the spiffing work

10:30

and I've no doubt that Michael

10:32

and Hilary will be the number

10:34

one names for 2025 and beyond.

10:41

With much love, Steven.

10:43

Steven Statter? No, this is a fan

10:45

to be cherished, you two. We love

10:47

Steven Statter. I may have to get

10:49

him on some other stats. So

10:52

are you now name influencers? I think

10:54

we could be deemed to be, but

10:56

I would like to know because I

10:59

have a feeling that PPJ over there

11:01

who is Pod Prod

11:03

Joe, our producer, I

11:06

think he may have some stats on the name Patricia

11:09

because of course Steven didn't know you were going to be here.

11:12

So I did request Patricia stats.

11:14

Go on. In 2023, the

11:16

name Patricia was number 3339 in the

11:18

job. So

11:23

far, the data for 2024 puts the name up

11:26

2707 places to number 632. Oh

11:38

my goodness, you're triple figures, not quadruple figures.

11:40

The top thousand by the way. I'm

11:43

really surprised at that. You

11:46

know, I suppose it's sort of down the line. It's

11:48

safe, isn't it? It's one of those. It

11:50

is. The only thing about your name, of

11:52

course, is that we always call you Patricia.

11:55

But Here's the thing. The diminutive

11:58

Patricia are a number. Like

12:00

to bet that I have a whole

12:02

that for for the first ten years

12:04

of monotonous cook shisha. then I went

12:06

to a school where from day one

12:09

deep in the teacher introduce me as

12:11

Patch for reasons without Aussie reading it

12:13

was just that was an automatic thing

12:15

that he viewable Patricia you will go.

12:17

Pats. On us but grown

12:19

up so a lot that for a few years and

12:22

then I got a bit. Tired of it

12:24

because actually Pat Hodge is not a

12:26

great combo. So when I went to

12:28

my next school at the age of

12:31

sixteen I decided I didn't want to

12:33

be called past and then it evolved

12:35

from there and I when I went

12:37

to drama school I was Cool Trees

12:40

or Tricia and people take it and

12:42

the one that with a tradition. And

12:46

then there. Is. Some people it's of reasons

12:48

unknown to themselves. can we passed? He.

12:50

Left so suddenly.

12:54

What? Has been appropriated because it's much

12:56

rarer is the surname. So basically

12:58

those people who just call me

13:00

hodge cause. Cause. I think there's any

13:02

about. To was not three

13:05

of us in the hood of Equity so

13:07

then you lot less at. Douglas know,

13:09

I'm not sure anybody else knows

13:11

somebody in a so now. Isis

13:13

sort of and I guess at that have

13:15

a and that the I say it's exposure

13:17

it a try a it. Said

13:20

it's hard. To

13:34

say that we as a joke. Will.

13:37

Call the pet Hodge when you're not here with

13:39

know he has you espouse but we would never

13:41

dare call you pack your. Lawyer

13:44

on be eyes are Tricia I'm beyond

13:46

caring is a a master. You

13:49

very relaxed about monitors and pats.

13:51

Tricia trace not pass either. No

13:54

no no patio put up with icing

13:57

net that it's in is very difficult.

13:59

if you're and day one now of a rehearsal

14:02

and the director calls

14:05

you Pat from day one. Then the whole

14:07

of the room thinks you're called Pat. And

14:09

I did have a little embarrassing thing some

14:11

years ago when I was called Pat

14:13

by a director for a few days and suddenly

14:15

the actor I was working with put

14:18

his hand up in the middle of rehearsal. Just a minute,

14:20

just a minute, just a minute. Can

14:22

we just get something clear? I've always known this

14:24

woman as Trish. Why are you

14:26

suddenly calling her Pat? And the director was

14:28

not very pleased about it because it was

14:30

a bit shaky. And he said, Oh, well,

14:35

what is it? And I said, well, I

14:37

don't really mind. And

14:40

so he said, all right, well, I'll call you

14:42

Trish then. But it was it was rather begrudging.

14:44

So it can become a bit of an issue.

14:46

I mean, he's not a

14:48

Mike and definitely not a Mick in a

14:51

thousand years. But he did have a couple

14:53

of clients that called him Mike. And

14:55

really, that's on Roger's always always

14:58

call me Mike and Michael Williams

15:00

and Michael Williams always

15:02

called me Mike. Judy Dench's husband.

15:04

And I never I didn't have

15:06

the gone on for

15:09

too long. They've done it. It's

15:11

like, you know, mention it the first time

15:13

they say Mike say I'm not a

15:15

Mike. Yeah, but I didn't. I

15:18

let it go for, well,

15:21

let's say a couple of years. And

15:24

by then it's too late to

15:26

say, incidentally, yes, Mike. I'm not

15:28

a Mike. What do

15:34

you mean? No, I'm

15:37

Michael. Actually, I'm not not Mike.

15:40

Oh, well, I'm sorry about that, but

15:43

I mean, then we are. I'm going to now talk

15:45

to some pregnant all the pregnant deals out there. There

15:47

might be a few in our

15:50

stats. We're gunning

15:52

now we need more Hillary's. We need

15:54

more Michaels and more Patricia's just putting

15:56

it out there. We're on

15:58

a mission now thanks to Steven. that

16:01

we're going to get those names up those

16:03

charts because after all they all

16:05

mean lovely things. Oh, do we know what Patricia

16:07

means? P.P.J.? Noble. It

16:09

comes from Patricia. Noble. Noble.

16:12

Well, that do not quite godly.

16:15

Godly noble hilarious. What

16:18

can I say? I'll take it. I'll take I was going

16:20

to say I think of the three. That's the

16:22

one I'd stick with. Right, Patricia.

16:25

We're going into another contentious area because

16:27

I thought we need to go contentious

16:30

with Patricia. We need some proper sparky conversation.

16:32

Here we go. So I'm going to let

16:34

you read the email. Right. OK. Now,

16:36

I think it spans two pages. So I

16:39

think it's dearest Michael and Hillary is the

16:41

top as it were, which is on the previous

16:43

page. But that's the email I'd love you

16:45

to read. Dearest Michael

16:48

and Hillary, there's

16:50

a traditional and outdated idea

16:52

that is rude to ask somebody's

16:55

age, especially of a lady. I've

16:58

never understood this and have always

17:00

celebrated my age. If I

17:02

made another year, it's a good thing. It's

17:04

why I'm always pleased to hear Michael being

17:06

candid about his octogenarian status.

17:10

Have either of you ever masked or

17:12

even lied about your age? My

17:15

ex mother-in-law was in her mid fifties for

17:17

at least 15 years. My

17:20

kind of girl. And I always felt

17:22

sorry for her. She thought considerably less

17:24

of me. But that's another story. I

17:27

love your podcast and listen first thing on

17:29

a Monday and then save the life lesson

17:31

episode for last thing on a Friday. You

17:34

bookend my week beautifully.

17:37

Very best regards. Pamela, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,

17:39

kiss. Now, Pamela, there's another name that's probably

17:41

slipped down the mum's net. Well,

17:45

the thing about all this is it does sort

17:47

of pin our ages, doesn't it?

17:49

That's the thing. I mean, we're not called

17:51

Troy. Well,

17:54

actually that pins your age, Gary. Very

17:56

60s, 70s. Chelsea,

18:00

we're not called Chelsea. No, Chardonnay.

18:02

No, not Chardonnay. Tiffany. So

18:05

it goes on. Pamela though, I

18:08

mean that's, I imagine that's probably

18:10

right down the chart. Well, that's

18:12

very interesting because I

18:14

have inhabited, I won't

18:16

say more than that, several roles

18:18

that were initially played by the

18:21

actress Gertrude Lawrence, who

18:23

of course was one of the

18:25

great stars of the 20s, 30s, 40s. And

18:29

just into the 50s. And Sarnel Coward. Yes, best

18:33

friends with Sarnel Coward and he created

18:35

roles for her like Private Lives and

18:37

Tonight's Day, 13, something. Now, the reason

18:39

I'm telling you this is because her daughter

18:42

was called Pamela. And she had Pamela

18:44

at the age of about 18. And

18:48

thereafter when Pamela was growing

18:50

up, Pamela was made to bind

18:52

her breasts because

18:56

Gertie lied about her age and

18:59

didn't want this manifestation

19:04

of Gertie's age to be, well, I'm

19:07

exaggerating. I don't think it was quite,

19:09

but she made her play down her

19:11

bosoms. Let's put it like that. Oh

19:13

my goodness me, you heard it here first, D.L. Wow,

19:16

that's quite the story. She did

19:19

absolutely suppress her age. Where

19:21

do you belong on this? Because I know where I belong. Well,

19:24

I think for performers, it's very difficult because you don't

19:26

want to be typecast into an age. I mean, you

19:28

can be in an age bracket, but you don't want

19:30

to be specific about your age because

19:32

people can't produce. Blues on for me. You

19:35

have no blimmin' imagination. So

19:38

I think that you can't be age specific

19:40

if you're a performer, unless you're Michael Whitehall,

19:42

who of course trades on the fact that

19:44

he's an octogenarian. And

19:47

I think to good effect. The only

19:49

time I've lied about my age, because I'm quite

19:51

upfront about it, I mean, I look every second

19:53

of the 62 years I- No,

19:56

you don't. That doesn't really make sense. Certainly on

19:58

some days. On some

20:00

days. Oh,

20:02

you said Sundays? I thought, what

20:04

happens on Sundays? You look so

20:07

awful. On the days

20:09

I look great, but on Sundays I look terrible. No,

20:11

not great on a Tuesday, to

20:14

be honest. It's very day-specific, my

20:16

look. No,

20:18

I, at school, I

20:21

like to claim it was because I was so incredibly clever. I got

20:23

pushed a year ahead. It

20:26

was actually because my parents didn't have a school to send me to, and

20:28

they begged the school I went to to take me a year

20:30

early, which they then duly did. So I was a year ahead.

20:33

And I was already young for the year

20:35

I should have been in, because

20:38

I'm a May birthday. So when I went into the year

20:40

ahead, I was really young. And of

20:42

course, I was punching way above

20:44

my weight age-wise with people who, particularly

20:46

in the O-level year, they were all

20:48

16, and I was 14. And

20:50

I turned 15 just before I took my O-levels. So

20:54

I did lie about my age at that

20:56

point, particularly when I got into the sixth

20:58

form and we were into illicit drinking,

21:01

going to the pubs and things. I

21:03

would lie about my age, but not

21:06

very successfully usually. The only time I

21:08

ever did, I was going to school

21:11

on the bus. We all went

21:13

to school on the bus, locally. And

21:15

I think there was a cut-off

21:17

after 12 when you had

21:19

to pay full fare. And

21:22

I think I was about a month or so

21:24

over that. And asked for four

21:26

penny ones and whatever it was, as I was

21:28

with my sister and some others. And the conductors

21:30

looked at me and said, how old are you?

21:32

And I said 12. And

21:35

one of the children with me said, you

21:37

told me you were 30. Anyway, so

21:39

the conductors looked and said, yes, I bet

21:41

she did. I'll let you get away with

21:44

it this time. And after that, I have never, never

21:46

lied about my age. I

21:50

don't use any point, because people can find

21:52

it out very easily. Well, nowadays. Yeah. And

21:55

I think better to rejoice in what you are rather than

21:57

try and stifle it. And if people find out... and

22:00

they know you've been lying, then what else are you

22:02

lying about? You know, far better to

22:04

live and embrace the truth. I think also,

22:06

I mean, I think of somebody like

22:08

Joan Collins who probably did tweak her

22:11

age for many years for good reason, because she was

22:13

in our profession. But of course now, she

22:15

is like a national treasure. Of course she's

22:17

embraced her true age now because actually

22:20

she looks amazing for her age.

22:22

And she rejoices in it. Exactly,

22:24

and so we all should. The

22:26

other person, of course, who we

22:28

always used to mock about shaving

22:30

a few years off his age,

22:32

I couldn't deny or confirm whether

22:34

it's true, is of course

22:37

your friend and our friend, Nigel Havers.

22:40

Who actually, again, in

22:42

this day and age, you can find out his age

22:45

very easily, and he is exactly 10 years older than

22:47

me. So I know how old he is, because he's

22:49

always been 10 years older than me. But

22:51

I think there's been the odd moment

22:54

of tweaking possibly. Oh, has there? But

22:56

way, way back. I

22:58

mean, he looks good, Nigel. He looks marvelous.

23:00

I've just been doing a play with him.

23:03

So I'm saying he gets through Lawrence Park.

23:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And

23:07

therefore I was clearly acting with a toy

23:10

boy without realizing it. Yeah,

23:12

but interestingly, that play that you did,

23:14

of course, talking of ages, was

23:16

a play that was written for

23:18

people of a certain age, and

23:20

you morphed it into a

23:22

different generation. Very successfully. Just a

23:24

different generation, about four generations ahead.

23:28

Very successfully, private lives with you and

23:30

Nigel. It was amazing. Bit of

23:32

a surprise, really, that it's... But

23:34

in a way, it added a certain intellectual

23:38

heft to it, because you were clearly two

23:40

people who had had a life,

23:42

and were bringing all that life experience

23:45

into that play, which

23:47

gave it a different layer, which was interesting.

23:50

I think it probably pinpointed as

23:52

well how much more people had

23:55

to grow up in Coward's time, because he wrote it

23:57

for him and Gertie when they were 31. 32.

24:00

Yeah, eight years of

24:02

age. And of course, because

24:04

of that time, when they'd

24:07

had the First World War, and everybody grew

24:09

up very quickly in the 20s, and

24:11

went kind of bonkers and mad with

24:14

the freedom of it all, and then

24:16

sobered like mad in the 30s, when

24:18

everything was beginning to go bad again. And

24:21

so I think their maturity was

24:23

out of step with what were, you know,

24:25

a 30 odd year old would be today.

24:27

Yes. Yeah. Interesting. And life expectancy.

24:30

I mean, Gertie, you know, Gertie died by

24:32

the time she was 52. Well,

24:34

that's the other thing. As you say, life

24:36

expectancy, you were talking about life expectancy the

24:38

other day, wasn't it? Because you're 83. And

24:41

you said, am I past, am I past

24:43

the average age of life expectancy or below

24:45

it? I can't remember what conclusion

24:47

we came to. I don't think we

24:49

did come to a conclusion. But I think sort of

24:52

better not to know it really. Exactly.

24:54

Probably not a topic to delve into

24:56

too much. So in answer to your

24:58

question, Pamela, we sort of have but

25:00

not not recently. And certainly, I'm

25:03

not sure that we would advertise our ages. But

25:06

if anybody wanted to find out, they would find out. Exactly.

25:10

Why don't you just call Patricia Pamela? No, Pamela

25:12

wrote the email, Michael, concentrate. Oh, I'm

25:14

sorry. Get with the program. You

25:17

looked at Patricia, and then

25:19

you use the word Pamela and I thought

25:21

you'd got her name wrong. After

25:24

all these years. After all these years,

25:26

I'm not aware of ever. Mikey Roy.

25:28

Exactly. Dear

25:41

Hillary and Michael, listening

25:43

to your podcast and hearing all

25:45

your anecdotes, travel stories and life

25:48

lessons brings me so

25:50

much joy and many

25:52

raucous belly laughs. We

25:56

are a family of intrepid travellers from

25:58

17. to

26:01

87. Impressive who? And there are

26:03

cities and countries we love and

26:05

others not so much. A

26:08

question that always irks me is

26:11

what is your favorite place to

26:13

visit? Impossible

26:15

to answer as there are many

26:17

and it depends who we were

26:20

with, what we saw, who we met,

26:23

what we

26:25

ate and the misadventures

26:27

we had. A basic

26:31

question is what

26:33

places would you not go back

26:36

to? To me

26:38

it might be a

26:40

place that once is enough or

26:43

it is just not a

26:45

place we liked and

26:47

we would avoid going back. A

26:50

couple of places I would not go back

26:52

to are Las Vegas.

26:56

I know someone

26:58

who is going to agree with that one. Salt

27:01

Lake City, USA.

27:04

And that one.

27:06

Sophia Bulgaria. Sophia

27:09

Bulgaria. Got there in the end.

27:11

Dubai, UAE.

27:14

And that one to be honest. Michael

27:17

Whitehall has probably written his email to

27:19

be honest. Your

27:21

family travels a fair

27:24

bit too. Your family

27:26

travels a fair bit too. I

27:29

wonder whether you should read this

27:31

one. No, just keep you nearly

27:33

through it now. Your family travels

27:35

a fair bit too. Got there.

27:38

And spends much time roaming cross

27:41

country in many

27:43

modes of transport. Yep.

27:46

So what are the places you

27:49

choose not to go back

27:51

to? I am sure

27:53

there are some great travel

27:55

stories that shed light

27:57

on as to why. Thank

28:03

you for opening your home to

28:05

us and sharing

28:07

so many great stories.

28:11

Keep being brilliantly yourself.

28:16

No. Caroline, Sydney

28:18

and Australia. Sydney

28:21

in Australia. I

28:24

thought there were three people. One called

28:26

Caroline, one called Sydney and the other

28:29

one called Australia. Oh yeah, very likely.

28:31

Easy mistake. Now

28:34

I have it on fairly good authority because

28:36

she told me, and you're

28:38

sitting here now, Patricia, that you've never been to Sydney,

28:40

have you? No,

28:42

no I haven't. Because that would be top of

28:45

my wish list to go back to, would it?

28:47

Yes, it's an amazing, it's a good one to

28:49

know. Well, I think you've got to, you've got

28:51

to wank, you've basically wangle a work. I know,

28:53

and there nearly was one but that sort

28:55

of... It's all by the way. Yeah.

28:58

No, that's good to know. Yeah. I

29:01

had a problem as you know with Sydney. I

29:03

know exactly what your problem was. Far too

29:05

many Australians. I

29:07

mean, everywhere you turn. You've got to

29:09

now. At least, I mean, he's just

29:12

like every time he's actually Sydney. Yeah.

29:16

I mean, I jest, but Michael could have

29:18

written this list. Las Vegas, have you been to Vegas?

29:21

No. Once is enough, yeah. Well,

29:24

we've been twice now. You loathed

29:26

it. Loathed it, yeah. I mean, we were a one off

29:28

visit, I think. Yeah, and a short one. I

29:30

was denied it actually because a film I

29:32

did last year with

29:35

Diane Keaton and Lulu, we

29:37

were meant, the whole thing in

29:39

the film was that the three of us take off for

29:41

Las Vegas. And we,

29:43

they sort of mocked up Vegas as

29:45

we were in the back of a

29:47

limo and light, you know, on film,

29:50

somewhere out in... With a back

29:52

projection. Well, not quite. God

29:54

knows how they did it. Anyway, it was that

29:56

we were in the car and the lights of

29:58

Vegas were supposedly flashing by us. and

30:00

it was all mocked up in

30:02

Walton-on-Tems. LAUGHTER As

30:07

you would. And then we were

30:09

told by the directors of the bit of money in the

30:11

budget, and I think actually, you know, it'd be better for

30:13

the film if we flew you out there and all that. However,

30:15

in the end, that didn't happen. They couldn't get

30:18

out. Oh, Patricia. They couldn't get... So I

30:20

was denied it. Yeah. So near and yet so

30:22

far. We unfortunately had certainly

30:24

ten days, almost two weeks in Vegas, because Jack decided to

30:26

do the Brits when we were filming out there. So we

30:29

had to wait four days since we had to come back.

30:32

That's too late. Oh, my God. I couldn't get him out of the

30:34

room. You thought you were going to get mad. No. But

30:36

it didn't help that, as I've already explained to the D.L.s

30:38

on other episodes, when we arrived in Vegas, there was a

30:41

blizzard blowing down the strip. It was so cold. Oh, no.

30:44

I mean, if you've got any of the right clothes, you have to go out and buy coats. Oh, no.

30:47

So cold. He didn't come out of

30:49

the room for four days. Mind you, the room. But when

30:51

he did come out, he said, I want to go back to the room. I

30:53

mean, it's quite weird when

30:55

you get into those places. Caesar's Palace,

30:57

was it called? Caesar's Palace, yeah. It's

31:00

vast. It's a huge room. I mean,

31:02

just huge. It was

31:04

like a small hotel. In itself. And

31:07

it was very poorly furnished. The

31:10

other weird thing about those hotels in Vegas

31:12

is that you walk out into what you

31:14

think is an open outdoor space. But they've

31:17

just projected the sky onto the ceiling. So

31:19

you think you're outdoor and there's a little restaurant. You say, oh,

31:21

it's lovely. We'll eat outside and then you think,

31:23

we're not. It's just faith. It's all faith. The

31:25

whole thing is faith. The whole thing is faith. There's

31:28

a whole faith. Then is Salt Lake

31:30

City. Well, we've just before Christmas, we

31:32

were in Salt Lake City. I mean, it's

31:35

an interesting place. Of course, it's Utah, which

31:37

is allegedly the dry state. So you can

31:39

only get I mean, they do serve alcohol,

31:41

but you have to be in a restaurant

31:44

or a specific bar. I mean, Salt Lake

31:46

City is a university town. So I think

31:48

students there do actually access bars

31:51

and clubs and things, but it's quite. It's

31:53

not well liked because it's the Mormons. There's a lot of temples

31:55

in Salt Lake City and they're quite a lot of temples. ornate

32:00

and big and they're very, you know, you

32:02

can't escape the fact that it is that

32:04

type of city because they're everywhere. And what's

32:06

the aesthetic? Well, it's

32:08

very American sort of modern, a

32:11

lot of wooden buildings and

32:13

particular characteristics. Not really. And

32:15

is there a salt lake? There is

32:18

a salt lake. It's a very large

32:20

salt lake and it's got

32:22

an interesting biology and, but it was

32:24

an interesting, I mean, again, geologically interesting.

32:26

I thought it was ghastly. Okay.

32:32

And also I was promised to meet with

32:34

Tom Cruise and they just made that up.

32:36

He's not a Mormon. He's a Scientologist. Oh,

32:38

I thought he was a Mormon. Very different

32:40

beast. I was lied to then.

32:44

Very different landscape, Michael. Because that fake-serve

32:46

woman said to me, you may get

32:49

to meet Tom Cruise. And I think

32:51

she was... But it's not

32:53

definite that we're hoping to... I think that's because

32:55

as we were leaving LA to go to Salt Lake City,

32:57

you would be refusing to get on the plane. So she was

32:59

thinking, how can I get him on the plane? Oh, I

33:01

know. I mentioned that he might

33:03

meet Tom Cruise. I'm just refusing to go on

33:06

the plane. Clearly the great disappointment

33:08

of your life, Michael. You

33:10

can see what I mean about the godlike behavior now. The

33:13

Osmans. Do you remember the Osmans? Yes. Yeah,

33:16

they were Mormons. Yes.

33:19

Interesting. I'm going to say the same.

33:21

I'm from Dubai. We went to Dubai with Jack and

33:23

it was... I found it a very curious place.

33:26

Well, it's been created, hasn't it? It has. And

33:29

we were weirdly... We were in some weird... At that

33:31

point, this is many years ago, there was a sort

33:33

of enclave. I think it's called the Green Zone. And

33:36

it was out in the desert and they'd built some

33:38

hotels and obviously there was some settlement around

33:40

it. But between the Green Zone

33:42

and the main part of Dubai was where

33:45

all the migrant workers lived. And

33:47

you used to see them walking back

33:49

with their lunchboxes back to

33:51

the encampment that they lived in and

33:53

you thought, this is just a very strange place.

33:55

They were building the monorail at that point. My

33:58

daughter-in-law was brought up there. because

34:00

her father was a structural engineer.

34:03

A lot of work out there. A lot of

34:05

work. That's what took them there. Yeah. And

34:07

my son, when he went out

34:09

there to meet the in-laws for the

34:11

first time, sent me two photographs on

34:13

the first day he was there. The first one was on

34:16

a beach, sunnies on,

34:19

swimming shorts, the

34:22

whole schmear putting the sun cream on.

34:24

That afternoon, he sent me another one

34:26

in full ski gear because

34:28

they were skiing on the indoor

34:30

created... In the mouth. Yeah, in the mouth. In

34:33

one day. It's a

34:35

very strange place. But, you

34:37

know, it's a very successful place. It has a massive

34:40

tourist industry. I get that people love it and great.

34:43

I'm thrilled that they love it. When Jack

34:45

did his very

34:47

early gig in Dubai,

34:51

I said to him, Jack, you know,

34:54

they're not going to be laughing. All those

34:56

shakes. And you're going to

34:58

get up and tell all those jokes about your

35:00

penis or whatever you do when you do jokes.

35:04

It'll be an absolute disaster. He said,

35:06

well, I know, Daddy, but I'm doing

35:09

it. And I said, I'll do it

35:11

and everything. The comedy's got to help,

35:13

Postar. I can't change my material because

35:15

I've got it all done. So I

35:17

said, OK, well, we'll come on

35:19

and see it. So we

35:21

waited and waited outside to

35:23

go in. We went in. There

35:26

were no shakes of any description.

35:28

It was all, hello, Jack. I

35:30

love how you're doing. Oi, get

35:32

your chair over. They

35:35

were just a lot of

35:37

local expats who lived in

35:39

Dubai and were

35:41

in the audience and they were very

35:43

good. And they were all with laughter and

35:46

no one. There was not a shake

35:48

in sight. I

36:01

want to pull this email away from this particular

36:03

listing because of course we have alluded to the

36:06

fact that we've been on holiday because I want

36:08

to tell the story of the summer of I

36:11

can't remember what summer it was but we

36:13

went on holiday you and the

36:15

lovely Peter your husband and your two

36:17

boys drove down to the south of

36:19

France we did we flew in yeah

36:21

we'd hired a villa and it was quite

36:24

it was quite there was

36:26

there's quite a lot going on it was quite a

36:28

hectic holiday wasn't it it was

36:30

but it was it

36:32

was great actually it was

36:34

it was great even the woman

36:36

who owned it said you won't be disappointed she was very

36:38

who ready I mean

36:41

you won't be disappointed well

36:44

that's not quite true was it well the

36:46

two boys Jack and Alexander

36:48

as in our sons were

36:50

put in a pool pool

36:53

which was crawling with ants

36:55

so we had the other live we had to

36:57

yank them out of there and we created a dormitory in

37:00

the end didn't we for the children in the TV

37:02

room well in the main sitting room by the TV

37:04

do you remember they were all obsessed with there

37:06

was a test match on that's it and then big

37:08

brother was on that's it and they were obsessed

37:10

with between it so that was a good south

37:12

of France wasn't it because I'm not sure how

37:14

much they ever saw of the outside you know

37:16

we did play cricket yes play cricket and there

37:18

was the odd plunge in a very cold pool

37:20

yes unheated and do

37:22

you remember she then decided that she was going

37:25

to visit unexpectedly and the and the

37:27

gate thought buzzer went yeah and said

37:29

oh hello it's Rosemary here I've just

37:31

come to pick something up and we all

37:34

went no because there was the dormitory in

37:36

the city room I will

37:38

never forget you and I think we got

37:40

Alexander Jack out of the the map get

37:42

it up you've got to get the mattress

37:44

back to the pool and then running like

37:46

um Ron Atkins

37:48

in in black

37:51

other with Baldrick behind running

37:53

with this map double mattress across

37:56

the more absolute fast and then the

37:58

next day we were in the The

38:00

Supermarket and M as you can

38:02

only guess. Im francis said it's it's it's

38:04

not just unit, not just stem the old

38:06

item of clothing this along with the food

38:08

but it was a whole basket full of

38:10

underwear. And the was the

38:13

most enormous. Thing as in

38:15

progress Yeah, Made of

38:17

brocade, any kind of circa

38:19

nineteen forty eight and saw

38:21

in as somebody with would

38:23

get. Let's just say of the melon variety

38:25

and I picked it up it was a it

38:27

was about five bulbous I'm it was nothing it

38:29

was twenty five as besides I got it boss

38:31

it because is that we could. It's and then

38:33

gave it to Jack the next day

38:35

before we were having lunch and he

38:37

stuffed a couple of to it and

38:39

keeps. Us it did an absolute

38:41

impersonation of this. That's what will

38:44

the new as I prescribe a

38:46

d on track with this huge

38:48

browser anyway that that we all

38:50

seedlings have a great career I

38:52

said bless him Yes indeed That

38:54

drag. He's got an ordinary you think

38:56

he had to drive in Australia? you

38:58

And he. Madame. Chiang Mai thought

39:00

when john to dry that. In

39:02

Australia has his allies to drown. He just

39:05

my lord seen. I. Am I

39:07

got to see brain? Yeah it's business ethics.

39:09

Let me tell you that I'm in a

39:11

penalty match. Miss this on the post by

39:13

than amount of socialists a picture in the

39:16

hand that was I will say you have

39:18

to associate I said was quite something They

39:20

were very sweet they our the drug screens

39:23

were amazing around a dozen as this big

39:25

drugs in Sydney. Oh yeah and my to

39:27

inject doesn't embrace the whole thing. And.

39:29

Described as of really some. Oh

39:32

there was ever get to oh

39:34

my daughter's brilliant. Yeah. I

39:37

mean, I think Michael's probably channeling. More Dame

39:39

Edna Everage than the Queen that. Well

39:42

somewhere. Halfway. Between also

39:44

seems remember Michael would take. His. Socks

39:47

off some reason for hims and can say

39:49

of fills a you have a higher he

39:51

has a rather. High heels in every had a

39:53

sort of you know the queen had this is a

39:55

slightly block e s have a pair. Of those

39:57

of us to play without is very high

39:59

heel. you would expect. And

40:01

there was a lot of tucking going on. But

40:04

the other thing I remember, going back to our holiday, the

40:06

other thing I remember, and I'm sorry to

40:08

bring it up, but I remember myself when

40:10

Jack was going on to his senior school

40:12

and when we were on holiday, Barney and

40:14

Edward were going on the senior school. And

40:17

Jack had the same problem as Edward because he

40:19

did not want to wear glasses going into senior

40:21

school, so I had to get him into contact

40:23

lenses. And I remember leaving Jack in tears in

40:25

the back room of Leighton's in Putney, the opticians,

40:28

trying to get those contact lenses in.

40:30

Which he subsequently did, but it's quite

40:32

a journey that when you're an early

40:35

teen, particularly for boys who are so

40:37

sort of, you know, big hands and

40:39

trying to get these tiny lenses and

40:41

everything. I remember poor old Edward lost

40:43

a lens. Because

40:45

at that point he was in permanent

40:48

lenses rather than semi-permanent instead of daylight.

40:50

And he lost one of these

40:52

lenses, two hours of scrabbling around

40:54

on the hands and knees. What I remember

40:56

is your husband going to the car

40:59

getting a toolkit out. Do you

41:01

remember? Yes, he did. I remember Alexander

41:03

coming, your older son coming out of

41:05

the room and saying, it's not going

41:07

well in there. And I went to

41:09

him and your husband was unscrewing the

41:11

curtains. Oh, he was unscrewing the curtains.

41:13

And I said to him, Peter, may

41:16

I remind you that I

41:19

have paid the deposit on this filler and

41:21

I would quite like it back. And he said,

41:23

Hillary, I will leave it as I found it.

41:25

And to his word, he put it all back.

41:27

Did you find the lens?

41:31

No, of course not. It was

41:34

a gift we left behind for

41:36

Rosemary or whatever her name was.

41:38

Just coming to him, pick

41:41

something up. Thank

41:43

God Rosemary didn't appear when

41:46

he was taking the curtain. The dismantle. Yes.

41:51

But that was good fun. That was an epic

41:53

honour. We played a lot of cricket. Yes. Didn't

41:55

we? Do you remember we had our own version

41:57

of French cricket where we couldn't... cricket

42:00

cricket where we couldn't go out of the lawn.

42:02

That's right. On that, on that, no,

42:04

it was really great. Lots of good

42:06

food. Yeah. No, it

42:08

was an epic, epic holiday. We took it in terms of a bit

42:10

of cooking, didn't we? We did, yep. No, it was wonderful, bit of

42:12

barbecue. No, it was a very special

42:15

time for which we have many, many fond memories, not

42:17

least that bra. I think I've

42:19

still got it somewhere. On that note,

42:21

I think we will wrap this up, Patricia. We

42:23

have had such a lovely time. Well, I've

42:25

had a lovely time. Will you join us

42:28

for a bonus episode? Well,

42:30

our life hack, we'll do a quick life hack with

42:33

Patricia. I need your help, actually,

42:35

with this week's life hack. So we will go

42:37

on to that. In the meantime, D.L., thank you

42:39

so much for joining us. I hope you've enjoyed

42:41

being in the company of the wondrous Patricia Hodge

42:43

as much as we have. I have. Definitely.

42:46

Big fan, big fan. Thank you, D.L. Whitehall. Big

42:48

fan. For inviting me to join you. We

42:51

will be back on Thursday with a bonus set with

42:53

Patricia. In the meantime, please share,

42:55

please subscribe, please rate, please review. Please keep

42:57

the emails coming. You know we love you,

43:00

D.L. as you are the beating heart of

43:02

this podcast. Until

43:04

Thursday, I will say

43:06

farewell. Farewell. And

43:08

farewell from me.