0:02

This is a Global Player

0:04

Original Podcast. Welcome

0:13

back, Dials, to the bonus

0:15

epitode. Michael,

0:17

what has happened to me? Bonus

0:20

epitode. Episode. I'm doing

0:22

a U. I'll have another run at that. Welcome

0:24

back, Dials, to the bonus

0:26

episode. The Thursday Slimline

0:28

one. Slimline.

0:31

You see what I did there? Mr

0:35

Whitehall, still in a suit, because I just want to

0:37

go back to Monday's episode. I do like a man

0:39

in a suit. I have to say it. That's what

0:41

first attracted me to Mr Whitehall.

0:44

The white suit. I know it was, yeah,

0:47

white. What can I say? We've

0:49

covered that. But I do like a

0:51

man in a suit. It was a white. It was cream.

0:54

Sorry, that's up for debate.

0:56

I do like a man in a suit. You're still looking

0:58

gorgeous. I should say, Dials, he's wearing my favourite suit.

1:01

It's a sort of bright blue with a red

1:04

check. Just to really

1:06

embarrass him. Yeah. PPJ,

1:09

of course, not a man I've ever seen in

1:11

a suit. Allegedly, there was a suit for

1:13

your wedding, I know. But you're not a suit

1:15

man, are you? Not day to day. No, you're

1:18

more of the Hawaiian shirt look. Today's

1:20

shirt from the gorgeous

1:23

PPJ, as he said when

1:25

he came through the door, the morning looks like it could

1:27

have been a set of curtains in the 70s. I

1:30

would concur. Brown

1:33

is a predominant colour. Brown,

1:35

beige and orange. It's very, very,

1:37

very 70s. Yeah.

1:40

Right. Let's crack on, Michael, with the

1:43

email for the bonus

1:45

ep, which is, I mean,

1:47

it's sort of close to your heart because you're quite fussy

1:49

about this particular topic. I'm

1:52

going to let you read it and I

1:54

will then probably have to do the answering because

1:56

I don't think you're going to have much to

1:58

offer. So it's there. and there. I've

2:01

addressed Hilary first as I think

2:03

this will interest her, you, more.

2:08

Yep. Don't want to assume

2:10

who's reading this. Well

2:13

I thought I'd get him to read it just

2:15

so that he had some input to the episode. I

2:18

thought I'd share with you a

2:20

little hack I've just learned. I've

2:23

never been quite clear what a hack

2:25

is. It's like a tip, a lesson,

2:28

a piece of

2:30

advice, a hack. Is it

2:32

a new word because it doesn't come

2:34

in my dictionary, hack? Well, life

2:37

hacks have been around for a few years. Have

2:39

they? Yeah. But it's not a word

2:41

that you would have expected me to have heard

2:44

of. I would have expected

2:46

you to have heard of it actually,

2:48

but anyway, life has used the term

2:50

for weeks since we've been writing them.

2:53

So I mean, it's like taxes used

2:55

to be called hackney cabs, but

2:57

I don't think you'd probably use that word

3:00

now. If you

3:02

said to the doorman or somebody

3:05

at a restaurant, could I get, could

3:07

you get me a hackney cab? Could

3:09

you get me a hackney cab? He

3:11

said, what? Yeah, that's it. What are

3:13

you talking about mate? I'm not sure

3:15

that the F word would be involved

3:17

in that conversation. Well, it depends where

3:19

you were, what restaurant it was. Okay.

3:21

Here's another word for a life hack,

3:23

a tip, a trick, or efficient method

3:25

for doing or managing a day-to-day task

3:27

or activity, a hack, a life hack.

3:30

Right. Yeah. Okay. Right.

3:32

Okay. Getting something done more

3:35

efficiently than you otherwise might.

3:37

Exactly. Right. Yep. I thought

3:39

I'd share with you a little hack

3:42

I've just learned. You may already be

3:44

aware, but just in case I thought

3:46

I'd send you an email, I have

3:50

just spent my Sunday afternoon

3:52

preparing a chicken stew for

3:55

my family, Lovingly

3:57

prepared with seasonal veggies.

4:00

The ball was last

4:02

homemade Chicken Salt. Oh

4:04

stall soft reset out sick

4:07

and saw her center to

4:09

chicken stock. Yeah time came

4:11

to prepare the mass ready

4:13

for serving up but I

4:15

had no Basra. Tragedy.

4:19

There was no way. My

4:21

two teenage sons who are

4:23

forever hungry. Would. Cope

4:26

without the potatoes I'd

4:28

want to do. I

4:30

thought I'd give man

4:32

a's ago instead of

4:34

the bouncer. Interesting to

4:36

my surprise, it worked

4:38

perfectly. I only has

4:40

Willow Sat. may have

4:42

a in. Yeah,

4:44

so probably healthier to.

4:48

Yeah. Says not terribly my kind

4:50

of some last oh sorry it is

4:52

to his his eye on if i

4:54

serve to I asked besides her that

4:56

did not have bus or that they

4:58

would bear riots. To. Say.

5:01

Than I thought of all

5:03

the one before hacks you've

5:05

shared with our stay Owls

5:07

insists on thought you might

5:09

appreciate hearing one from us.

5:11

Yep, Have you have any

5:13

last minute maid mail. Saving.

5:16

Traits you could share with another

5:18

cat that because I'm not sure

5:20

it messes it's dad's side well

5:23

had my any. Have.

5:25

You have any last

5:27

minute meals saving traits.

5:29

You. Could share with us.

5:32

Ah yes the podcasts com

5:34

mean I love listening while

5:37

I'm cleaning the house. Which.

5:39

Makes that saw more of

5:42

a pleasure. That

5:44

show being the cleaning.

5:46

Yep, not this mean.

5:49

All. Of the

5:51

love of love of

5:53

many signs Ama. S

5:56

W. from so. Ever.

5:59

in sauces France. Interesting.

6:02

So I didn't sound very

6:04

French. No, no. With

6:07

mashed potato mayonnaise and things like that.

6:09

Well, I've got one or two thoughts

6:11

on this, Michael, because mashed

6:14

potato without butter is, can

6:17

I just say it, it's unacceptable. So therefore

6:19

you have to think, okay, what else could

6:21

I put into the mashed

6:23

potato if you find yourself in

6:26

a no butter situation? Low

6:29

fat mayonnaise, probably in southwest France, the low

6:31

fat mayonnaise is nicer than the low fat

6:33

mayonnaise we get here. I do feel that,

6:36

I mean, I try to do low fat

6:38

in so many areas of my life. The

6:40

one area that I do not do low fat in

6:42

is mayonnaise. I just can't bear

6:44

it. It's like a sort of, I

6:47

call it a lubricant really. That's all you

6:49

can say for it, is that it lubricates

6:51

what you're eating down. But mayonnaise

6:53

itself is a joy to behold. It's

6:57

a good one though. I like that. I'm going to try that

6:59

myself. Of

7:03

course, the Italians would put olive oil in. And

7:06

actually it's quite nice. Mashed potato with olive oil

7:09

in it is delicious. So

7:11

that's, I mean, normally in

7:13

a kitchen you would have olive oil, that's a good one.

7:16

I then thought, oh, you could put cream cheese in it

7:18

because I tend to have a tub of Philadelphia in the

7:20

fridge all the time just because it's handy. So

7:24

that would be a good one. That would give it a

7:26

bit of extra body. I also

7:28

like to have in the fridge, and I do use low

7:30

fat or lower fat, and that is creme

7:32

fraiche. That's always a dollop of creme fraiche

7:34

in there is always good. Double

7:38

cream, Mr. Whitehall, he's nodded off, but he

7:40

loves, you love a bit of double cream, don't

7:42

you? Hello? Stick

7:45

with me on this one because it's good. Because these

7:47

are all things that you really... I was just thinking

7:49

about our producer's shirt and the reason I like

7:52

it, because you said that we didn't

7:54

like it. I didn't say... I did

7:56

not express an opinion on whether I

7:58

liked or disliked it. Not that

8:00

Hawaiian look, but the problem with Hawaiian

8:02

shirts, as I learned to my cost

8:05

when I went on holiday, not

8:07

in Hawaii, but in the

8:10

West Indies. We could go to Hawaii, because

8:13

the Haralsons live in Hawaii, they've just gone

8:15

back to Hawaii. I'm waiting

8:17

for the invite. It was

8:20

a short sleeve, and I'm not

8:22

very good with short sleeves. I

8:24

just like to

8:27

either roll the shirt up, or if the

8:29

shirt that he was wearing today was short

8:38

sleeve, I would not like it. But

8:40

he's rolled the sleeve up,

8:43

and it looks very stylish. I'm

8:46

just saying that. I could

8:48

have said it to him afterwards. You

8:50

could have done. That's

8:52

because I mentioned it at the beginning of the top of

8:54

the show, top of the ep. I

8:57

mentioned his shirt. Could I just

8:59

say... And we have got in another name drop

9:01

as a result. The Haralsons, yeah. Because

9:04

you've got Woody Haralson in there. Haven't managed to get Nigel Havers

9:06

in this week yet, so let's just get him in, because he

9:08

would... You see, he's a low fat man.

9:10

He would definitely... Was he

9:12

in? He's down. Of course he's in. God, I'm forgetting

9:15

my name. You're not even listening to your own podcast. You're not

9:17

even listening to yourself. I know. I'm zoning

9:19

out. A

9:22

bit like you've just zoned out when it

9:24

came to mashed potato. I'm going

9:26

to continue. I'm pulling his back,

9:29

because Emma, you've started a conversation

9:31

of my foot swaggling now because Mike was

9:33

making mistakes. I've worked out how to stop.

9:35

I just push it from the

9:37

bottom, and then it's gone. Thank

9:40

you. So I've done mayonnaise, olive oil, cream

9:42

cheese, creme fraiche, double cream. Of

9:46

course, the old fashioned thing that you put in mashed

9:48

potato, which my mother taught me, but you do

9:50

have to warm it. So you have to put

9:52

a hole in the middle of the mashed potato,

9:55

pour the milk in to the hot pan, warm

9:58

it before you whip it in. is a

10:00

really good, if you're

10:02

really desperate substitute, milk. Good

10:05

old milk. I've always done that in other

10:07

departments, warm it before you whip it in.

10:10

I just think it's,

10:13

I don't know, I just. I

10:16

mean, I am literally. I think if you

10:18

don't do that, it's quite, I

10:20

think it's unfair and unreasonable.

10:22

Is it ungentlemanly? Yes. It's

10:26

very ungentlemanly. Bad manners. Warm it

10:28

before you whip it in. That

10:30

would be my advice to

10:34

people generally. Dio's,

10:36

I don't know how to come out of

10:38

this now. What? You

10:41

bringing it down to that kind of level. I've

10:43

got some other hacks to get through first. Just

10:45

carry on there. To do with mashed potato. Just

10:48

making a point. I'm speechless. The

10:52

other things that you could do to perk up a mashed

10:54

potato is chop up a spring onion and whip it in.

10:57

That would be nice. Nutmeg. I

11:00

have to say that I always do put a bit of

11:02

grated nutmeg in my mashed potato, even with butter

11:04

in it. I mean, with butter in it, butter

11:06

not in it, whatever. Any kind of lubricant in

11:08

it. Nutmeg, always good salt, pepper,

11:11

sugar. What sort of person would actually have

11:13

in their house

11:16

at any given moment? Yeah. Nutmeg.

11:18

Well, most people should have it in

11:20

their store cupboard. You've got eggs probably

11:23

in the fridge. You've probably got a

11:25

loaf. Some

11:27

butter all there in your case. There

11:29

was no butter. On this one. Normally,

11:32

the staples, the basic things.

11:35

When would the moment ever come where

11:38

you'd say, oh my God, I just

11:41

can't cope with life anymore. I

11:44

just can't run a house. It's all

11:46

terrible because I've got no nutmeg. Well,

11:49

I would feel like. You'd have to be locked up. No, I would

11:51

definitely. Nutmeg is always in my store

11:53

cupboard, Michael. It's a

11:55

nut, so it keeps for ages. And you just

11:57

grate it. You can grate it into anything.

12:00

dairy-based anything egg-based very

12:02

good in an old you're saying you

12:04

couldn't really get by without a Nutmeg

12:07

I would be annoyed if I went

12:09

to the nutmeg department of my kitchen

12:12

and no nutmeg was to be found

12:14

if I wanted Nutmeg in a recipe

12:16

bread sauce is very good in bread sauce

12:18

very good in anything dairy-based It's very good

12:20

in hot milk. Do you think if you

12:23

you'd run out of them? Now

12:26

you're wiggling your foot now you Decorate

12:30

Would you ring Jack and say Jack

12:32

do you buy any chance have a

12:34

nutmeg? I just say yes

12:37

I know for a fact that all

12:39

three of my children have not making their store

12:42

cupboards I know because I brought them up.

12:45

I know that they will have nothing

12:47

Woody Harrelson would carry a nutmeg with

12:49

him when he travels Harry

12:51

a nutmeg with him, but I I

12:54

can neither deny nor confirm with a woody

12:56

Harrelson travels with a nutmeg It

13:10

just seems the most obscure thing

13:14

more obscure things like razz

13:16

al-hanout or za'atar or Exactly

13:19

to Canute razz

13:22

al-hanout She's

13:24

a spice and herb mix used in

13:26

Moroccan cooking like a porn star razz

13:28

al-hanout Well, it's quite

13:30

a good porn name Not

13:34

that I'm earning about porn I was gonna

13:36

say how do you know about porn names

13:38

Michael? Is that anything to do

13:40

with the search page on your Instagram? Boom-boom.

13:43

I've already mentioned. I know I'm not

13:45

mentioning it again Still there,

13:47

I checked the other day deeply

13:49

embarrassing There's a lot of bottoms still

13:52

and a lot of bosom bosom and bottom. Yeah,

13:54

neither one or the other. Yeah Mine

13:56

disabled dogs and and it's

13:58

entirely for the full of the

14:01

people who make the phone that

14:03

it's next to the other one.

14:05

It's definitely, definitely your algorithm. What do you

14:08

mean? You've got that algorithm going. I know,

14:10

I've got a slight shake. I mean, knock.

14:12

Oh, you see? Yeah. That's

14:15

age. It's just a tiny shake.

14:18

So when I go to pre... Also, I can't

14:20

do that thing with thumbs. Everybody

14:23

does things with thumbs. Texting with thumbs,

14:25

yeah. I just don't know how they...

14:27

They have close-ups of people texting, and

14:29

they're thumbs. I mean, I couldn't get

14:31

a thumb on to any of those

14:34

thumbs. I'm now going to... Yeah. I

14:37

do it with this finger here. I can't describe

14:39

what he does. He uses his forefinger and he

14:41

jabs at the phone. You can hear the noise.

14:43

I'm doing jabs like that. As

14:45

I jab on the phone... Absolutely. All

14:48

sorts of havoc happens. I

14:50

go in, and that's when I

14:52

get into those busty ladies, because

14:54

I've jabbed the wrong thing, and

14:57

then they all come up at

14:59

me. It's absolutely pathetic. This... This

15:02

pathetic... Well, you know I sent

15:04

it to our social media people,

15:06

and they had it for two

15:09

weeks, and they said, I'm afraid

15:11

it's not something we can remove.

15:13

And I said, why not? And

15:16

they said, because you can't remove it.

15:18

Because it's your algorithm. It's

15:20

the most pathetic explanation I've

15:22

ever heard for

15:24

what is what your phone... I'm not sticking to

15:27

it. I know you are. I've said it. Oh,

15:29

dear. Unbelievable. Can

15:31

I get back to kitchen hacks? It's

15:33

a slightly safer subject to be on. Well,

15:36

yes, it's not an obvious

15:39

jump from nutmeg to... It's

15:42

a big person than bottom ladies.

15:45

I mean, it's a rather stunning scene for you.

15:47

Also, we're meant to be a family audience show.

15:50

I think we are actually very, very heavily PT.

15:52

And I think our producer will probably manage to

15:54

cut most of this. No, I

15:56

think your liberal use of the F word

15:59

means... that we're very

16:01

very heavily PG this class

16:04

didn't put that in country life of course they did

16:06

allude to a rant that they didn't allude to your

16:08

bad language just saying

16:10

Michael Whitehall I

16:12

mean I'm gonna just give you another couple

16:15

of substitutions that you can do which is

16:17

if you don't have any breadcrumbs and you

16:19

want to breadcrumb something like a piece of

16:21

fish or chicken you

16:24

can use semolina you

16:26

can use polenta or

16:28

slightly more random you can use

16:30

crushed up cornflakes which

16:32

are delicious or indeed a crushed up Dorito

16:36

tortilla chip delicious coating

16:39

for chicken or

16:41

fish or when you have a meat

16:43

that you wish to eat like a pork chop or a veal

16:45

chop you could do that so there

16:47

are houses there are people yep

16:50

there are even listeners of

16:52

ours deals who would

16:56

be in their kitchen and

16:58

would be absolutely

17:00

desperate for breadcrumbs desperate

17:03

and completely

17:05

out of polenta

17:09

and say well that's it we might as

17:11

well just give up cancel it

17:13

no we were having a dinner

17:16

party had ten people coming I'm

17:18

putting it off we haven't got

17:20

any polenta I cannot have the

17:23

corbally sturtons coming into this house

17:25

and having dinner with us and

17:27

then mrs. corbally sturton saying have

17:30

you got any polenta and

17:32

a new saying oh no we

17:35

haven't and has oh

17:37

god Charles I think I

17:39

think we ought to go I can't bear

17:42

being in a house where they

17:44

have no palenta or nutmeg

17:46

I mean come on

17:49

what is polenta it's like

17:51

a sort of met corn maze cornmeal

17:54

that you put on you can you can say

17:56

if you don't have a man I'm a

17:59

shaker It comes in a packet. It comes in

18:01

a packet like seven metres. You go into a

18:04

shop and say, can I have some polenta? You

18:06

get different grades of polenta, two different sized polenta.

18:08

So if I went into that garage

18:10

over the road here, what are the

18:12

versions of it? There's a fine one

18:15

or a coarser one. Would

18:17

you like a fine one or a coarser one?

18:19

In your case, the coarse one would do. I'll

18:21

have the coarse one, please. Just

18:25

as another little life hack, if you've

18:28

not sadly run out of

18:30

potatoes, you can always do a zucchini

18:32

fry with coated polenta, just saying in

18:34

the air fry, delicious. Or

18:38

if you've run out of chips, if you've

18:40

got something like a celeriac or a parsnip

18:42

or a sweet potato in the fridge, you

18:44

could literally make this out of that. If

18:47

you offer somebody a fish, you're making fish

18:49

and chips for them, and

18:51

then you serve them with that. And

18:54

it was fish. And what were the other

18:56

things? Bikini fries or

18:58

a celeriac chip. Sorry,

19:00

we haven't got ordinary chips.

19:02

We've got celeriac chips. They

19:05

would say, oh, don't worry. Actually,

19:07

I think I like celeriac chips

19:09

better. The fish and chip shop

19:11

up the road does a lot

19:13

of business with their celeriac chips.

19:16

I love a celeriac chip. Anyway,

19:18

Dio, on that rather random

19:21

note, I am going to wrap this up.

19:23

We will be back on Monday with the

19:25

full fat episode. Full

19:28

fat. Full fat. The

19:32

substantial episode, the

19:34

expanded episode, the proper episode

19:36

as opposed to the slim

19:38

line one. Please

19:40

rate, please review, please share, please subscribe, please

19:42

tell your friends, please keep the emails coming. We

19:45

will be back on Monday and farewell.

19:50

Goodbye.