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This is a Global Player

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Original Podcast. Welcome

0:15

back, D.Ls, to another episode

0:17

of The Wittering Whitehalls from

0:19

Whitehall Towers. We are back

0:21

with you for a full-fat episode, a

0:24

Monday episode, just to let you

0:26

know on the dental front, just giving you an

0:28

update on the dental front. It's

0:31

still feeling quite weird in there because you had to

0:33

rebuild the two teeth, as you will know. Thank

0:36

you, Robert Stone. But

0:39

I'm beginning to grind... Well, I think I'm grinding

0:41

my teeth at night because it is beginning to

0:43

grind down the slightly weird feeling. I'm

0:46

probably grinding my teeth because somebody makes

0:48

me feel quite anxious. Okay,

0:51

what's around the corner today, then? Well,

0:53

we check the gift registry and

0:55

gear up for yet more weddings.

1:01

We recall some very expensive roses.

1:03

And she said, you know those

1:05

old twigs she left on the

1:07

doorstep? And I said, old

1:11

twigs, what

1:13

you mean, the roses?

1:15

And we try our very best

1:17

to remember our 30th birthdays. We

1:20

used to go on holidays together.

1:23

When I got back, I couldn't say to

1:25

somebody, oh, we just had the most wonderful

1:27

holiday in Bum. I never

1:29

even knew where I was. That's when I was in

1:31

my 30s and 40s. I

1:34

know, I know. Sorry,

1:36

I'm just looking at you. You told me that you were

1:38

going to wear a Garret Club tie this morning. I

1:40

was. I changed my mind. Which is

1:42

why I've worn pink and green to co-ordinate

1:45

with you. It isn't pink, it's pale. That

1:47

is pink. It's pink. Sorry, PPJ, what colour

1:49

is that scarf? Pale.

1:52

Why would you put me in a position? I

1:56

would call that pale move. Pink?

1:58

Very enchanting. Pink, that is pink.

2:01

Very nice, the bits at the bottom

2:03

are pink. Pink, I'm wearing pink and

2:05

green, nice green

2:07

dress, pink scarf, because

2:09

my husband told me he was going to wear a

2:11

Garret Club bow tie and I thought, oh, we'll coordinate.

2:13

And what are you in? One of my new, the

2:16

Doctor. Bloody tie Doctor

2:18

again. This is the one

2:20

that you bought three of, though. Shh, shh, shh.

2:24

Yes, three D.Ls. It's

2:27

purple and black and it's lovely, block colours

2:30

and your purple jacket. But I'm wearing it

2:32

with a purple jacket, which is against

2:35

all my fashion advice.

2:37

What? Don't match tie

2:40

with jacket. Whatever you do,

2:42

don't. Well, you are.

2:44

I know, that's what I just

2:46

said. I am

2:49

doing what I advise everybody

2:51

not to do. Ignoring your

2:53

own advice, you're

2:56

going rogue against yourself. Yeah. I'm

2:59

allowed to do that for the time. Which you

3:01

do quite often. Yes, exactly. This is not generally

3:03

a visual medium. It's not

3:06

at all a visual medium. But

3:08

obviously, if I was doing what

3:10

those nice men in

3:13

that other podcast were doing and I

3:16

was playing the O2 Arena, it

3:20

would be different. I would not. He literally has

3:22

got obsessed with this now. Can we just forget

3:24

that Rory Stewart and Alistair Campbell are playing the

3:26

O2 Arena? Wasn't going to mention their names. The

3:29

O2 Arena. Just giving them more publicity than they

3:31

do now. Well, they've got a lot of tickets

3:33

to sell. I thought I'd give them a helping

3:35

hand. Do you never know? We might get a

3:38

comp to it. How many tickets did Jack sell

3:40

at the O2? I think it's about 12,000, I

3:42

think. 12,000 tickets.

3:46

Yeah, yeah. Extraordinary. Two

3:48

nights. Well, you can understand

3:50

people wanting to listen

3:52

to Jack's finely crafted

3:55

humor over two

3:57

halves. Two

3:59

hours. worth of... He does have a

4:01

warm-up, so he does that. A regional... Yeah. Storytelling.

4:05

Storytelling. Yeah. I'd go

4:07

there for tour, but

4:09

would you go

4:12

and listen to two podcasters?

4:16

I'm sorry, but as PPJ

4:19

will agree and confirm for

4:21

me, live

4:23

podcasting is the new rock and roll. In

4:25

fact, I did a live podcast event last

4:27

night. Did you? Yes. Oh,

4:29

God. I did. Made by

4:32

mamas with Zoe and Georgia

4:34

who were delightful.

4:37

Right. And very sweet. And

4:40

that meant you say live. Yeah, there

4:42

was an audience. Right.

4:44

He was very sweet. Several of

4:46

them came up to me afterwards. But it wasn't

4:49

the O2. No, a little tiny

4:51

bit smaller than that, if I'm honest. It's

4:53

some building in Maddox Street here. I can't remember the

4:56

name of it. But it

4:58

was a slightly more compact audience,

5:00

I would say. But a very

5:02

appreciative audience. Like how many? I've

5:04

no idea. I didn't count them, Michael. But I mean,

5:06

less than 100. Oh, right. More than 50 and

5:09

less than 100. More

5:11

of an intimate evening. It

5:13

was still a live podcast event, Michael, which

5:15

as you know, we are preparing ourselves to

5:18

do that. Exactly. Watch this

5:20

space, D.L.s, because we could be coming to

5:22

a theatre near you. PPJ and

5:24

I are busy constructing the

5:26

perfect vehicle for Mr. Whitehall's

5:29

talents, is all I'm saying. Well,

5:31

I'm not sure that I would want to go

5:33

to a room in Maddox Street and do it.

5:35

With a lot of women talking about motherhood. Talking

5:38

about motherhood. Just going to

5:40

give you a very, very quick. Is there

5:42

any money involved? No. I'm

5:44

just going to give you a very, very

5:46

quick life hack though, which I picked up

5:48

from the other guest speaker on the other

5:50

episode of the podcast, which is all mothers

5:52

should ban the word should. It's

5:55

what you need and what you want, not what you

5:57

should be doing. Get rid of

5:59

that word, mummy. is because all it

6:01

does is illicit guilt. I should be doing

6:03

that. I should be feeling this. It's

6:06

what you're actually feeling or what you need to

6:08

feel or what you want to feel. It's not

6:10

should. So banish the word should. In

6:12

fact, all of us should banish the word. I

6:15

think it's quite a good word. I often think, well,

6:17

I think to myself, should I

6:19

be that rude and aggressive? I was about to

6:21

say, should I be more polite? Yes,

6:24

you should, Michael. Yeah, I would argue, should

6:26

you be more polite? Yes, you should. No,

6:28

I shouldn't. OK. Could

6:31

I be less angry? Yes.

6:33

No, I should not. Yes, you should

6:35

be less angry. My anger is absolutely

6:37

pitched at the right level. So

6:40

I wouldn't agree with that. Well,

6:42

I would agree with it because should you have

6:44

not lost your temper to quite the degree that

6:46

you did over the word six? Should

6:49

I not have lost my temper over

6:51

the... I didn't

6:53

lose my temper in that respect.

6:56

It was just my annoyance at

6:59

not being able to say

7:01

six because... How

7:06

much do you love a recap deal?

7:08

That's all I'm saying. It's a silly

7:10

word. Michael Whitehall, we're going to get

7:12

on with the first email.

7:14

My new seventh isn't much

7:17

better. It doesn't have an X.

7:20

No, true. No, six

7:23

is the worst. Fifth is quite complicated as

7:25

well because there's an extra F in there.

7:29

Fifth. Fifth as opposed to fifth. Fifth.

7:32

Anyway, we're going to get back on

7:34

that one. Right, Michael Whitehall, please could

7:36

you read that email? Oh, the

7:38

glasses are off now, D.L. He means business.

7:41

Dear Michael and Hillary, greetings

7:45

from Banbury. Oh, hello.

7:48

Ha, ha, ha. Thank

7:50

you for filling my daily commutes

7:52

between Banbury and Chipping Norton. Where

7:55

there isn't a hobby craft. No.

7:59

Sorry, no. I

8:02

think if I had to commute between Banbury

8:04

and Chipping Norm, I'd probably spend 90% of

8:08

my commuting in Chipping

8:10

Norm. But

8:13

we don't know where this lady's from. Oh

8:15

no, she is from Banbury. I've got it.

8:18

Is it a lady? Do we know it's a lady? Anna.

8:21

Could be a man. Could be.

8:23

But probably a woman, don't you think?

8:26

Lady, you said. Greetings.

8:31

It's wedding invite

8:34

season. And

8:36

I've received three invitations in

8:38

the last few weeks. One

8:41

with a traditional gift list.

8:44

Oh, you love that word,

8:46

Michael Whitehall. One asking for

8:48

contributions to a foreign hon

8:51

honeymoon. I mean, the word

8:53

foreign is quite weird. Why?

8:57

Foreign holiday. I don't know. It's just

8:59

something about having

9:01

a foreign honeymoon. Foreign

9:03

holiday. Foreign holiday. You

9:05

said I'm going on a foreign holiday

9:07

as opposed to a staycation. I

9:11

put to

9:13

a honeymoon abroad, I think

9:16

I would call it. A

9:19

foreign honeymoon. Anna, please take note. It means

9:21

that when you get there, there are going

9:23

to be people going, oh, you're here. No,

9:25

no, no, no, no, no, no. Anna

9:30

are you glad you got this one going?

9:33

And lastly, for a

9:35

charity close to

9:37

the bride and groom's hearts.

9:39

Mm hmm. I've

9:42

never, I'm never

9:44

keen on the cash alternatives,

9:47

but maybe they have a place. What

9:51

are the cash alternatives to what? The

9:53

cash alternatives to a wedding list where

9:55

you're asked to provide specific gifts. They

9:58

ask for money towards their honeymoon. Oh,

10:00

I see. Or indeed a

10:02

donation to a charity. Right. Or

10:04

you could just... I would concentrate. You could just

10:06

have a wedding and... Not

10:09

have any gifts at all. Well,

10:11

you could just leave the rest of that to

10:14

them. I mean, they can either bring something or

10:16

not bring something or give you something. It's probably

10:18

better to guide people, Michael. Okay.

10:21

I've been married for 23 years. Well

10:24

done. Well done. That

10:27

is a shift. This year.

10:29

We had a traditional gift

10:32

list. The

10:34

La Cruzé dishes are

10:36

still going strong and

10:38

used daily. The

10:41

towel bundle is

10:43

still in use. What's the

10:45

towel bundle? You buy a towel bundle

10:47

where you get a bath sheet, a

10:50

hand towel, something and a something. You

10:52

get a selection of different sizes. Very

10:54

bambry, yeah. It's not bambry.

10:56

John Lewis sell towel bundles. Yes.

11:00

I mean, when did you ever buy a

11:02

towel? Never. So you know

11:04

that they come in a bundle. No,

11:06

but I've never bought a towel bundle. We've

11:09

never bought a towel single. No, I

11:11

haven't bought a single towel. No. The

11:15

towel bundle is still in use.

11:17

Yep. There's a

11:19

few holes now and some

11:22

bleach marks. Oh, we're getting quite...

11:25

Can I just say that is the most

11:27

annoying thing when the towel gets a

11:29

bleach mark? It's so annoying. But the

11:31

dog doesn't mind after a muddy walk.

11:33

Yep. So she's bought the towel

11:36

bundle for the dog. No. Not

11:38

for herself. Oh, for God's sake. What? Can

11:41

I just explain this? It's not difficult. She

11:43

was given the towel bundle as

11:45

a wedding present, just as we

11:48

were given now by Sid and Phoebe

11:50

Goldstein. They bought this beautiful white Irish

11:52

towel. This towel bundle they were given

11:54

23 years ago. Exactly, which is why

11:56

it's now a bit knackered. So she's now

11:59

re-sided. All I'm wondering

12:01

is if this is water

12:08

cooler

12:11

podcasting.

12:23

We've only got two more

12:25

paragraphs left. Keep going. It

12:27

is relevant. From Anna. Yes.

12:30

In bandwidth. I'm liking her email. Just

12:32

keep going. So far. Keep going.

12:35

My parents reached the

12:37

50 years married. Wow.

12:40

In September. Yep. Very

12:42

good. My mum still irons

12:44

at the same ironing board. Yep.

12:47

They received on their wedding day. Well,

12:50

they must have been very excited when

12:52

they got married. Because

12:54

they were coming down the aisle, someone

12:57

approached them with an ironing

12:59

board. Just think about that. That was

13:01

50 years ago when people

13:05

were bought household goods for their

13:07

wedding. That was what happened. Now

13:11

it's all a bit more exotic, but people expect you to get

13:13

them a limited edition photograph

13:15

by... For

13:18

a holiday in the South of France. Or a holiday in

13:20

St Charles, exactly. But then

13:22

all they got was an ironing

13:24

board. Still, it has lasted well.

13:26

Begins with an R. Very famous.

13:30

It says Bob's Pop Stars and things. PPJ,

13:32

help me out here. They've

13:34

had it for 50 years, that ironing

13:36

board. Amazing. Rankin.

13:39

Sorry. How much ironing must

13:41

have taken place on that ironing board over

13:43

50 years? After

13:46

he talked about rankin' it. Under the

13:49

pants. I'm trying to up the tone.

13:55

So limited edition photographs by

13:57

Rankin. But

14:01

I mean... Well

14:03

what they had on their ironing board in

14:05

those days, 50 years ago. Yep.

14:10

Anyone who spent waste of their time ironing

14:12

pants needs their head examining or

14:14

socks. When have you ever seen anyone

14:16

iron a sock? It

14:20

just shows you that you don't do the ironing

14:22

ever. She

14:24

regularly adds a new cover.

14:27

To the ironing board. Right.

14:31

There's also a slotted spoon

14:33

and a fish

14:36

slice, which you wouldn't be ironing

14:38

that, surely. No. There's

14:40

also a slotted spoon and a fish

14:42

slice. Oh, in the

14:44

drawer. That's our wedding

14:47

gift. You love that one

14:49

too. Now, just to warn

14:51

our listeners or

14:53

watchers. We've

14:55

only got one more paragraph in this letter.

14:58

Yeah. In this email. She's

15:00

getting to the crust. So we're getting to the...

15:05

Do you still have wedding

15:08

gifts that are

15:10

much loved and used daily?

15:14

Well, we have a lot of slotted

15:17

spoons and fish slices. Can

15:20

I have that back now? No, there's

15:22

another sentence. Should we

15:24

be going against the grain

15:27

and not giving pounds

15:31

for a holiday? As

15:33

in pounds, shilling ins and pence. Much

15:35

love, Anna. Faithful Banbury DL. We love

15:38

a Banbury DL. Thank you, Anna, for

15:40

emailing in. Can I have the sheets

15:42

back because I've got my notes on

15:44

it. Yes. You've

15:47

read it already. One

15:50

of us has to do some prep, Michael.

15:52

Yeah, OK. I know you come to this

15:54

fresh as you plant your arse

15:57

on the sofa. Oh, it's shiny.

16:00

You can't... Can you plant my

16:02

arse? You have done no

16:04

prep, generally speaking. Right, okay. Well,

16:06

I've read that charming

16:08

letter about that lady and

16:10

her long marriage and her...

16:13

Yes, her parents' long marriage. Oh, it's her

16:15

parents. So I'm going to ask you the nub of this.

16:18

Where do you stand on giving people money

16:20

for a honeymoon as a wedding

16:23

present? I don't... I

16:25

don't like it. I don't

16:27

like it. Okay, fine. No,

16:30

if somebody was getting married, I want

16:32

to give them a really nice present.

16:34

But not off a wedding list, which interests...

16:37

No, I usually go off list.

16:39

We go rogue, exactly. I definitely

16:41

go off list. I want to

16:43

give somebody a personal present

16:45

that they will treasure and

16:47

love. Yep. And that wouldn't

16:49

include a slotted spoon. No,

16:52

definitely not. I don't even know what a

16:54

slotted spoon is. You know the spoon that

16:56

you take the boiled egg out of the

17:00

boiling... Oh, yeah. That is a slotted spoon. Oh,

17:02

right, okay. So that the water drips out of

17:04

the bottle. But if I'm giving a wedding present

17:06

to somebody, I don't want to give them money.

17:10

And I don't want to give them a honey

17:12

bowl. I think you would call a slotted spoon an

17:14

egg spoon, which is what my mother used for it.

17:16

Oh, right, okay. Can I just

17:19

say, though, that it... I'm just saying what... I

17:21

know, I know, I know. But times

17:23

have changed because in the old days, of

17:25

course, there was no suggestion that you would

17:27

live with the person you were going to marry before

17:29

you got married to them. So therefore, as you got

17:31

married, you were then building up

17:33

a household, which is

17:35

why people gave you household appliances and

17:37

household equipment, etc. Nowadays,

17:40

people tend to live together before they

17:42

get married, so they've already got stuff. So

17:45

for instance, when Molly and

17:47

Toby got married, they had stuff because

17:50

they'd flat shared together. So they,

17:52

in fact, quite rightly, because they had a lot of

17:54

stuff and thought we don't need people to give us

17:56

stuff, we've got stuff, Toby's

17:58

mum runs a... charity for

18:00

Bob Champion, the Bob Champion

18:03

Cancer charity. So they

18:05

quite rightly said, we would love you to

18:07

all give donations to the charity that my

18:09

mother runs because it's a very, very fine

18:11

charity, the Bob Champion charity. And Lucy does

18:14

a wonderful job running it. And

18:16

that was a very kind and very lovely thing

18:18

to do and lots of people donated to it.

18:20

So I'm with the charity donations, I get that.

18:22

If you have a charity that you feel particularly

18:24

attached to, charity donations is a

18:27

good way forward. I'm not

18:29

keen on the money for the honeymoon,

18:31

if I'm honest. I would

18:33

rather give somebody something tangible that they can then remember

18:36

that you've given it to them. My

18:38

wedding present of choice for many years, now

18:41

no longer available, unfortunately. Although

18:45

I think there is a company that does it, but not

18:47

quite to the standard that I like, because

18:49

they just stick it on. House in Days used

18:51

to do a thing where they would get the

18:53

wedding invitation and put it on a tray.

18:56

And in fact, somebody gave us one. It was a really

18:58

good idea, because then your wedding invitation is on a tray.

19:01

There is a company that sticks it on and then puts a

19:03

little glass over it, but it makes the tray very heavy. But

19:06

it's a lovely thing to have, because it's a memory of

19:08

your wedding. So that was a good

19:10

one. We do actually

19:12

still have some things from our wedding, Michael, and

19:14

I bet you don't know what they are. The

19:17

Petite Fleur Crockery that we use

19:19

every day in the BBH. Oh,

19:22

yes. Do you remember when we went to

19:24

the General Trading Company, when we were doing

19:26

our wedding list, the General Trading Company that is

19:28

no more. Yes. It was populated by Hooray.

19:30

Very Hooray. Wasn't

19:33

there a rather aggressive shop

19:36

assistant? Quite patronizing. She never

19:38

would have called herself an

19:40

assistant, but yes. She

19:43

made me feel like I was punching way above

19:45

my weight, is all I'm gonna say. Not

19:48

helped by the fact that you saw some tumblers that

19:50

you liked. She said, oh, can I have a look

19:52

at those tumblers, those sort of engraved

19:55

tumblers, cut glass things.

19:58

And she said, yes, but we've only got six. And

20:01

you said, well, I'll still have a look at them and said,

20:03

is six really going to be any use to you? You

20:06

said, I think so. Remember that? I do remember. Weirdly,

20:09

we've still got five of them. We

20:12

did break one, but I've still got five of them. I

20:16

like them. Yeah. So six was

20:18

of use to us. It's just the

20:20

way she said it. It was like six really going to be

20:22

any use to you. Yeah. Yes,

20:24

I don't think that would work in a

20:27

shop sending glasses in Banbury

20:30

in 2024. No. But

20:34

somebody to say, I'm sure six

20:36

weren't being used to. The

20:38

other weird thing about that was only

20:40

thinking of one. Yeah. The

20:42

other really strange thing about our wedding

20:44

lists because we had one

20:48

at John Lewis, one at John Lewis Trading, as

20:50

I said, and we had put on both lists

20:52

some vases because you love flowers, don't you? And

20:54

you picked out some vases at each location.

20:57

Everybody went for the vases. So we ended

21:00

up with about 48 vases. We

21:02

did have a lot. A lot of vases. Yeah.

21:05

But we do still use them. And

21:10

my mother, like your mother, Anna,

21:13

had an ironing board and an iron that she was given for

21:15

her wedding back in 1940. Sorry.

21:18

Yeah. 1947, 48? I

21:21

think they got married. 49

21:25

maybe? She got married

21:27

in 1949. She

21:29

was given an ironing board and an iron which she

21:31

used right up until her departure.

21:34

The iron was so heavy that it was like

21:36

going to the gym. It was like a kettlebell.

21:38

It was so heavy. You used to rake it

21:40

across clothing. And I used to say, so

21:42

do you want me to buy you a steam iron? There's so much you...

21:45

No, no, no. I like my iron. I

21:48

don't think I've ever given anyone a present off

21:51

a... Wedding list. Off

21:53

a wedding list. Well, that's you though. I like

21:55

to give people a personal... I mean, for example,

21:57

at the moment... Yeah. this

22:00

amazing book by a man called Gary

22:02

Bass. It's such a big book. And

22:04

it's called Judgment at Tokyo. Sorry, Gary

22:06

J. Bass, it says that. Yeah. That's

22:08

his full name. He's American.

22:12

And it's called Judgment at Tokyo.

22:14

And it's World War II on

22:16

trial and the making of modern

22:18

Asia. And it's mainly

22:20

about the end of the war

22:22

in Japan, and then the war

22:25

crimes trial. So it's

22:27

a light book. It's a nice

22:29

light subject. But it's absolutely fascinating.

22:31

And I'm getting on with it

22:34

really well. And I'm already

22:36

on page 103. Yeah,

22:38

how many pages are there in there? Well, that's the

22:41

problem. Because the problem with

22:43

the book, if I was recommending it to

22:45

somebody. Well, as a wedding present, quite weird.

22:47

Yes, is that it has 892 pages. And

22:53

as you can see here, it

22:56

is quite thick. They can't

22:58

see, darling, because it's a video. I

23:00

also find it quite heavy when

23:03

I'm reading it, because I like to

23:05

hold the book when I'm reading. And

23:08

it is quite difficult. It's

23:10

a complete non-starter reading it

23:12

in bed, and

23:14

a total non-starter

23:16

reading it in the bath. Could

23:19

I also add, Michael, I would

23:22

just am just putting it out there. I

23:24

would say it is a complete non-starter

23:26

as a wedding present, but very odd choice. Well, I

23:28

might give it to somebody who I

23:31

would know. I mean, Neil, I might possibly

23:33

give it to. I think the likelihood

23:36

of Neil getting married at 82. Yeah,

23:39

that's true. Unlikely, if I'm honest. No.

23:43

Well, I might give it. Who would I

23:45

give it to? I

23:48

don't know. I mean, it does have other uses. It's

23:51

a very good doorstop. So

23:55

you could read it and then use it

23:58

as a doorstop. I mean, he's gone crazy. quite

24:00

a load, Gels, I'm going to be honest. The

24:02

other thing, of course, that we've got from our

24:04

wedding is the painting, sorry, the little watercolor, ink

24:07

and watercolor sketch of us at

24:09

the altar by

24:12

Juliet Panett, which you hate and I love.

24:14

I don't hate it, though. You do, you

24:16

hate it. She's still with us, Juliet

24:18

Panett. No, she is a long, long, long, but she was

24:20

a very famous portrait painter, Mike, because

24:23

she painted the Queen's Children. Because

24:26

I was going to say, I didn't

24:28

think she was a particularly good artist, to

24:30

be honest, but. Quite harsh, I would say.

24:33

No, well, the Queen obviously liked her work.

24:35

Queen liked her and she started off as

24:37

a court artist. Tennis

24:39

court, so to speak. Why

24:42

would you have your tennis court painting?

24:44

You might, I mean, if you had a tennis

24:46

court, you might want people to know you'd got

24:48

one and you might get somebody to just come

24:50

and do a painting of it. I mean, you're

24:52

not allowed to take photographs in justice

24:55

courts. A court artist, she

24:57

did some very famous case. Oh, I

24:59

see, court rooms. Yes. Right,

25:03

okay. Well, I'm sure she's very

25:05

good. So the answer is no,

25:07

don't approve of the financial donation

25:10

to her honeymoon. Do

25:14

approve of a charity donation, because I do

25:16

think charity donations, at any given point, always

25:18

good. Or a wedding list.

25:20

I mean, something off the wedding list. Or if

25:22

you're married to Michael White, you'll go row and give

25:25

someone judgment at Tokyo. On that note,

25:27

Michael, I'm going to move- Above token

25:29

is always acceptable, I think. Okay.

25:43

As you mentioned, Neil, I'm going to move on to the next

25:45

email because I want to tell a sort of,

25:47

yeah. Can you still buy postal

25:50

orders? No, my point.

25:53

I mean, I think you can still get a

25:55

traveller's check, possibly. Right. But

25:58

no, not a postal order. Well

26:01

you'd have to have got it from a post office

26:03

and you can't get a post office

26:05

much these days. Yeah you can. Or

26:08

indeed a letter box. You have to set aside an

26:10

hour and a half if you're going to the post

26:12

office. You need to have a lot of time. And

26:14

I wrote somebody a letter yesterday and

26:17

I went to the post box here to

26:20

post it. Yeah. And you

26:23

know when you put a letter into a

26:25

post box or you may not know it.

26:27

I do. You get that

26:29

rather comfortable sort of plop oomp.

26:32

But it's a sort of whomp thing

26:34

because it's falling on to lots

26:37

of other letters. The

26:39

one round the corner you put it

26:41

in it goes bang because

26:43

it's the only letter in the

26:46

letter box. Well people don't write letters. And

26:48

they've changed all the collection times. Yeah we

26:50

did this the other day Michael. I used

26:53

to run down the street. I know we

26:55

did but I'm just. And these cards are

26:57

very delayed. So

27:01

if you're writing somebody a letter you might as

27:03

well just drive it over to where they live.

27:06

Exactly. And it to them. Not great

27:08

if they're in Harrogate. Just

27:10

saying. No you could drive to Harrogate. I'm

27:13

going to crack on Michael because you mentioned Neil

27:15

on to the next email. Are you ready? Yes.

27:18

Dear Hilary and Michael thank you for your wonderful podcast.

27:20

I am a new DL and I've been catching up

27:22

on all your previous episodes whilst listening to your latest

27:25

podcasts each week. I love it

27:27

when you refer to the BBH as I

27:29

am originally from the Bambri area with

27:31

a 2 in a

27:34

row. Originally so I suspect not now. This

27:37

year I turned 30. I have

27:39

an ever growing list of activities that I plan

27:41

to do to celebrate my 30th birthday such

27:44

as a cruise with my

27:46

mother. I did that many times.

27:49

A pottery class. Haven't

27:51

done that. North riding on the

27:53

beach. Haven't done that. This

27:56

is very you Michael Whitehall. You'll love

27:58

this one. David

28:00

Austin roses with my husband

28:03

you love a David Austin rose don't you yeah,

28:05

but you can get them on You

28:08

know online yeah I'm

28:10

curious to know how you celebrated your 30th

28:13

birthdays and whether you have any other suggestions

28:15

I could add to my list for my

28:17

30th birthday activities kind regards Molly

28:19

from oh, it's another Molly We had a

28:21

Molly the other day didn't we we did We

28:25

did the other Molly's

28:27

and a lot of Banbury going on yeah, I

28:29

think there was a Molly on Thursday

28:31

maybe or Monday anyway. Yes another

28:33

Molly spelt differently mo double li

28:36

from Warwickshire Molly

28:38

we had An

28:42

example of top top

28:46

top of the range roses

28:50

Coming to a sad end Which

28:53

was when I bought a

28:55

number a considerable number of

28:58

beautiful David Austin Roses

29:00

with as you know if

29:02

you when you get they arrive in

29:05

the post at the right time But

29:08

they are very small

29:10

and they're wrapped in little things

29:13

of water Yeah, the root is

29:15

protected isn't it? protected

29:17

and they're beautifully put together

29:19

and David Austin

29:21

from David Austin which are stunning

29:25

Stunning when they eventually get

29:28

out which is probably Quite

29:31

a long time in the future like maybe

29:33

a year Maybe

29:35

a couple of years to them get

29:37

some their prime So

29:41

one day I Got

29:44

them all out of the Parcel

29:46

and arrived in I think they're probably

29:48

about 10. Yeah,

29:51

maybe a dozen gone mad You'd

29:53

gone David Austin rose

29:55

mad And I put

29:57

them outside on the sort of patty.

30:00

The air area. Not.

30:02

Say route one of mine has

30:04

here are terrorists. The terrorists cetera.

30:08

And I thought of plant those

30:10

that the way of the weekend.

30:13

So. I went off when earn

30:15

a diverse went off to work

30:17

either. So working in an office

30:20

at the We Can that rise

30:22

and I thought writes. Ah

30:24

what am I doing today? Oh yes

30:26

I'm doing that. And then I said

30:28

to the now as we had a

30:30

lovely eyepatch remember we had a New

30:33

Zealand me as her. Most. Mm.

30:36

And they saw. A niece who we

30:38

laughed. At and. She.

30:41

Said all hi Michael. How

30:44

You doing? And I said I'm doing

30:46

very well. Fine So somehow yes of

30:48

New Zealand Access. And she said

30:50

you know those old twigs you last

30:52

on the doorstep. And I

30:55

said. Oh Suedes who

30:57

want you eve mean the roses

30:59

to she got a bomb far

31:01

all slr put than the that

31:04

are been a mole on I

31:06

said oh right and will thank

31:08

you. With the fall onset

31:11

was rammed pounds with a very

31:13

helpful votes he'd put once he

31:15

call those olds twigs. Are.

31:18

About muslims are heartbroken cause he

31:20

went up to the bomb for

31:22

any found all the mental tags

31:24

or out and soul of as

31:26

last with a little metal times

31:28

with the name you know Queen

31:30

I'm saying I'm the Queen mother's

31:33

favorite rose. I. Think. Even shed a

31:35

tear. Thing is the

31:37

walls and well was and certainly

31:39

an eye watering moment. I won't

31:41

drink sure have sold say I

31:43

would have come our. Thoughts:

31:46

neat says the children his to call

31:48

issues by sweet selling Just said hi

31:50

They serve have to remember that later

31:52

when you were being overzealous. we're adding

31:54

up. Bless you Visit Good. Trait. To

31:57

have. An A. I

31:59

have told. about

32:01

Neil and I sharing a birthday,

32:03

we are twins, and we

32:05

shared my 30th and his 50th. So

32:11

we had a happy 80th. I

32:14

think I referred to the fact that I was a little bit upset

32:16

that everyone thought I was 40. It's

32:19

quite annoying. But

32:22

we had said joint party. What I

32:24

didn't tell you about this party, because

32:28

I was fixated on the whole age thing,

32:30

what I didn't tell you, and this is

32:32

an added detail to this party, was that

32:34

it actually poured with rain that day. Absolutely

32:37

pissed it down. So the 80 people,

32:40

because we both had 40 people to

32:42

invite each, so it was 80 people.

32:44

The 80 people, rather than being

32:46

spread across our lovely lawn in

32:48

our lovely garden in Putney, in Lonesome

32:51

and South, were ram-packed

32:54

into the house. So

32:57

that was quite interesting. And

32:59

of course it was quite wet and soggy in

33:01

there, because everyone trailed in from the rain. Quite

33:03

annoying. But I always

33:06

remember having a chat rammed up against

33:08

the sort of kitchen door frame to

33:10

Simon Ward, who was Neil's

33:14

best friend. And thinking, what's

33:16

a nice man? And then you walked past and he

33:18

said, oh, Michael, and gave you a big hug. And

33:21

you were a little bit taken aback because you

33:23

then told me a backstory from Simon Ward. Did

33:28

I? You did. Where you'd

33:30

had an argument? Yeah, we had a bit

33:32

of a falling out. We were playing that

33:36

game where you do, you play

33:38

book or film. Chirad. Chirad,

33:40

type of thing. Yeah. And

33:43

Simon was there with his wife and

33:46

quite a lot of his family, I think. And

33:49

there were various friends of his. I don't know

33:51

what the party was an aid of. Maybe

33:54

it was an aid of his birthday

33:56

or something. Anyway, they

33:59

asked me to. say a few

34:01

words as people do often ask me

34:03

to. I thought you were doing charades.

34:05

And... Playing

34:07

charades. Yeah, but I did I

34:10

said a few words before the

34:12

charades. A bit introducing the charades.

34:15

Ladies and gentlemen, for your delectation.

34:18

Welcome to whatever

34:20

it was and the charades

34:22

will begin in five minutes.

34:25

You like the sort of... Thank you very

34:27

much indeed. MC of the evening. Master

34:31

of charades. I like it, PPJ. And

34:34

at some point in the evening... Well, you

34:36

got... You

34:38

were given a film to do. I was...

34:40

It was film, book or play or something,

34:43

wasn't it? Yeah. And I

34:45

was given to mine the book and

34:47

the film. Young

34:53

Winston starring Simon

34:56

Ward. Whose party it was? Directed

34:59

by Richard Attenborough. Oh, was

35:01

it? I think. PPJ,

35:04

get on the fact-checking. Yeah. Young

35:07

Winston starring Simon Ward.

35:10

Directed by Richard Attenborough. Yeah,

35:12

it was his breakout role,

35:14

was it not? And there

35:16

was a sort of one of those

35:19

worldwide search for... For the Young Winston.

35:21

To play the Young Winston. Yeah. And

35:24

they finally found this... I

35:27

mean, he was established, but

35:29

he certainly wasn't famous to

35:31

play Young Winston. Weirdly, he did actually

35:33

look quite like the Young Winston. He

35:35

looked a bit like. He did, yeah.

35:39

And he got

35:42

the voice quite well. But

35:45

the film was quite long. Times

35:50

a little over

35:52

long, I would say. Two hours 40. Some

35:55

might say, just the

35:57

teeniest bit boring.

36:01

It had been reviewed and it

36:03

done very well for Simon and

36:05

all that, but it was just

36:07

generally not considered to

36:09

be the big one really. Because

36:15

then Dickie Attenborough went on and

36:17

directed a number of much

36:20

more successful films. Anyway, when

36:24

I was doing my book

36:26

play and whatever, it's so long

36:28

since I played Shiraz, I can't

36:30

quite remember what you do, I

36:33

made a gesture of yawning,

36:38

boring clues.

36:41

Well people weren't guessing it were they? They

36:43

weren't getting it. So my work, I think

36:45

you pointed to him, didn't you? Very famous,

36:47

very famous. Didn't you point to, here we

36:50

go. Very famous man,

36:52

very famous politician

36:55

when he was

36:57

young and very

37:00

famous and then I

37:02

got desperate and said and pointed

37:04

to him and then I went

37:06

yawning and they said, young Winston.

37:14

I said, yeah, that's it, young

37:16

Winston. I

37:18

looked at Simon. Oh,

37:20

and I can imagine he was thrilled with that. And

37:23

Simon didn't look, although

37:25

it was a joke

37:27

and it was jokey and it was

37:30

all right, you know. And

37:32

at the end of

37:34

the evening, which was it was nearly

37:37

the end of the evening anyway, and

37:40

I went to the door

37:42

to leave and say goodbye

37:44

to everybody. He

37:46

came up to me and started

37:49

trying to punch me. I'm

37:53

not surprised, to be honest. You

37:55

bastard. I'm

37:58

not good in a fight. But

38:00

it was a fight. It would have been

38:03

a fight fight fight. He was trying to

38:05

punch me quite right Somebody

38:07

held him back. I

38:10

mean they didn't I need to hold me back. I was

38:12

trying to get out of the door I

38:14

think caused coming away. I did get

38:17

out of the door and ran off

38:19

and ran away and like

38:22

a coward and got a

38:24

cab and That

38:26

was the end of that and we never spoke

38:28

for oh Very

38:31

long time, but I think I

38:33

have a feeling that history relates that you

38:36

did then apologize to him I think I

38:38

did but it was many a very sorry

38:40

Simon that we just had a new Behavior.

38:43

Yeah period. Yeah unacceptable

38:45

behavior I would never do anything like that

38:48

then but this was the confidence of youth

38:50

with me never do anything like that now

38:52

I could get a cheap laugh. Yeah, you

38:55

know, I would say anything really just to

38:58

get a laugh Yeah, that's

39:00

not how God my son isn't

39:02

like that. Yeah, he he's very

39:05

very very Minimalist

39:08

in his he's very respectful of

39:10

other people. He's very respectful very

39:12

charming Yeah, I'm won't just do

39:14

anything for a laugh particularly when

39:17

it comes to his father I

39:32

Simon saw you at that joint

39:35

party I have with Neil Yeah, he

39:37

was very pleased you won't say you know,

39:39

and you said I'm sorry again about that

39:41

incident He said no, no, don't worry about

39:43

it. It's all fine But of course

39:45

it wouldn't have happened you would not have I was

39:47

it was well before me that you did the

39:49

charades because I would have actually Hold

39:52

you over the cold for that behavior Michael white

39:54

or Was just

39:56

trying to it was a cheap gag

39:58

and someone else's expensive Yes, very

40:01

naughty. I would have had you under

40:03

control. Anyway, that was

40:05

my 30th. Do you remember your 30th,

40:07

Michael? No. No? You

40:10

were presumably married to Jane at the time. I have

40:14

absolutely no memory of my

40:16

30th birthday. Do you have a

40:18

memory of last week? Yes.

40:20

Well, you do

40:23

because I'll tell you what happens last week,

40:25

my things like that. Do I? No. Do

40:29

you remember that wonderful holiday

40:31

we had in Sardinia? And

40:33

I'd say, so where? We used

40:37

to go on holidays together. When

40:39

I got back, I couldn't say to somebody,

40:41

oh, we just had the most wonderful holiday

40:44

in Bohm. I never even knew

40:46

where I was. That's when I was in my 30s

40:48

and 40s. I had no interest

40:52

in foreign places

40:55

other than just knowing that the weather will be

40:57

nice and I could sit and read. Well, you

40:59

say that quite often when we go abroad, the

41:01

weather isn't nice. So you could need to guarantee

41:03

that. Well, then I'd say read. The only thing

41:05

that you can absolutely cemented in your

41:08

memory are the

41:10

ladies that you have who you are very keen

41:12

on. So when we saw Zara Phillips the other

41:14

day, you remembered her name. It's funny that, isn't

41:16

it? Yes, at Chelmium,

41:19

isn't it? She's so

41:21

lovely and her husband is

41:23

so lovely. They're

41:25

the nicest, nicest people. Yeah.

41:28

Yeah, that was quite fun. You can remember the

41:30

name of the humanoid

41:32

AI that we met

41:34

on the series. You

41:36

like her? Amika. Funny how that's

41:39

cemented in your head. She was just

41:41

incredible. Absolutely incredible.

41:44

Do you remember

41:47

me? Anyway,

41:49

that's so yes. I

41:52

mean, it's difficult to advise you because I don't

41:54

know what your interests are. But

41:56

I would say go big because the 30th

41:58

is one to celebrate by the time you get

42:00

to 40 you're thinking I want to be

42:02

40, 50 even worse, 60,

42:04

oh god, 70, 80, nightmare.

42:08

So make the most of your 30th

42:10

because it's downhill from then on in.

42:12

So do the big bucket list for

42:15

your 30th and enjoy it

42:17

because the others,

42:19

the big milestone birthdays, they get worse

42:21

the longer you get into it. That's

42:24

my only piece of advice. The good

42:26

thing about you too is that you

42:29

remember everyone's birthday. I'm

42:31

not good on birthdays actually. I'm

42:33

terrible. Yeah. I'm terrible. I

42:37

don't know how old my children

42:39

are. I don't know what their

42:42

birthdays are. Never have done.

42:45

Love them madly. And

42:47

as long as there's somebody there to

42:49

say you do know that it's Barnaby's

42:53

birthday tomorrow. Yeah. I

42:56

will spring into

42:58

action. So I might have to share

43:00

with you on social deals because we

43:02

had Peggy's third birthday the other day,

43:04

which was a princess and superheroes party.

43:07

I've got a picture of Michael with

43:09

a crown on. It's

43:12

the expression on his face. That's a picture because

43:14

it was a three year old's birthday party. There's

43:16

a cup of tea in his hand and

43:19

he's looking like a man who probably doesn't want

43:21

to be there, but he did have a

43:23

crown on. I'm going to have

43:25

to share that one. It was a very

43:27

fun party. We've done children's parties today

43:30

show already. Yes. That man,

43:32

the child entertainer. We've done

43:34

him. That's a very good

43:36

story. What was he called that?

43:40

We're not allowed to Timmy Twinkle.

43:43

Timmy Twinkle. Is what we call them.

43:45

I don't, I never thought, I don't

43:47

know whether you thought the same thing.

43:50

I never totally believed, but

43:52

that was his real name. I

43:55

just, when I met his wife, cause he

43:57

came with his wife once, you

43:59

know, I just didn't I wasn't

44:01

confident enough to say hello mrs

44:03

twinkle how are you says the

44:06

man who had a doctor called

44:08

dr. dingle I did yeah

44:10

dr. do you remember when our children

44:12

first started at the dragon school we

44:14

went to the first prize giving I'm

44:18

not making these up deals but

44:20

two of the prizes that happen to be

44:23

next door to one another in terms of

44:25

chronology one was given to some

44:27

people called donger and the next one

44:29

was given some people called dinger the

44:33

dingers and the dog and the word the

44:35

dingers and the don't know and

44:38

they both got a prize yeah but

44:40

nothing for white hole no on

44:44

that note on the dingers and the

44:46

dongers I am going to draw this

44:48

to a conclusion DL and say

44:50

we will be back on Thursday

44:52

with the bonus episode please

44:54

join us please rate please

44:56

review please share please subscribe please tell

44:59

your friends please keep the emails coming

45:02

anything else I need to say no I don't

45:04

think I think we may because there are

45:06

some very nice other ones in there we

45:08

may come back to some of the ones

45:10

that we've got but

45:13

we can talk about in the future

45:16

other what letters other

45:19

emails emails okay they're

45:21

called emails that is what they're called

45:23

yeah well when I get them they're

45:25

in letter form okay well

45:27

I don't mean on by open stamps you

45:29

heard it here first deals we will be

45:31

coming back to some of the emails that

45:33

we are not covered today chanting emails and

45:36

we have in hand there are

45:38

but keep sending

45:40

yours in and thank you for joining us

45:42

because you know you are the beating heart

45:44

of the podcast we love you deals in

45:47

all your formats we've even had

45:49

a couple of bambry deals so

45:53

until Thursday bonus episode I will say

45:55

farewell and I will say goodbye

46:00

you