1:59

this podcast for eight years. So we were

2:02

always rushing to be like, well, we

2:04

have to do two books

2:06

in this episode. And now we're like, oh my God,

2:09

we use up all the Twilight's too soon.

2:11

We got to pace ourselves because who knows how

2:13

much longer we're going to do this.

2:15

We could run out of books. So that

2:17

flashback summer in particular, we

2:20

were just afraid that there wasn't enough content

2:23

in a single. We had

2:25

yet to really understand that we can

2:27

talk a lot

2:29

about anything

2:31

to fill a whole episode because our

2:33

fear was that we wouldn't, there wouldn't be enough content

2:36

in like a single goose bump or a single

2:39

Nancy Drew to fill a full worst bestseller episode.

2:42

And now

2:44

we have learned better. Yes.

2:47

But yeah, what I know about myself, and

2:50

I say this all the time, is that I don't

2:53

really get involved in mysteries.

2:55

That's not a genre that appeals to me. And

2:57

yeah, so I never got deep

3:00

into Nancy Drew. And I think

3:04

surely I must have read others, but this is really

3:06

the only one that like sticks out strongly

3:08

in my childhood memory as like, I

3:11

remember reading this Nancy Drew and it's because

3:14

my mom like sent it to me in a little care package

3:17

when I was at summer camp. And it

3:19

was kind of like, Oh, you're at camp and

3:21

Nancy is at a weirdo desert

3:23

spa. And that's sort of like being

3:25

at camp. Here you go. And so that

3:29

I think this was I'm sure this is the only Nancy Drew that

3:31

I owned because of that. And

3:33

so when, when we were talking to Chris, like what Nancy Drew

3:35

should we do? And I was like, well, you pick you're

3:38

the expert. And she foolishly

3:40

kicked it back to me. Actually, you were like, Oh, I

3:42

think we should do one of the Nancy Drew files.

3:46

Yes. You're like, we should do one of the Nancy

3:48

Drew files. And I was like, Oh, I read a Nancy

3:51

Drew file. It was this and you were like, this

3:53

is not a Nancy Drew file. And I was like, Oh,

3:55

what is this? Because this is not technically

3:57

an NCD or either. It's a third thing.

4:00

Well, it is a Nancy Drew. I'm actually,

4:03

again, this is me allowing

4:06

Nancy Drew to become my entire personality. I'm

4:08

re-upping a YouTube channel I started during

4:10

the lockdown. And one

4:13

of the things that I'm doing

4:15

a deep dive into is all of the different

4:17

iterations of Nancy Drew. Because

4:20

even as somebody who's been reading them since

4:22

I was like, in third grade, I

4:25

had to go through and do some research about what they were,

4:27

because there are so many. So this

4:30

is what they

4:30

call a digest. And

4:32

this is actually a

4:35

new iteration of the original series.

4:37

So like the old timey ones from the 20s, 30s,

4:39

40s.

4:41

They kept going with those. And

4:44

they wanted to make them more accessible

4:46

and paperback. And there was actually a

4:48

whole lawsuit because it switched publishers.

4:51

And I'm not even sure I totally understand

4:53

all the details of the lawsuit. But

4:56

when Simon and Schuster took it over,

4:58

they had to fight to figure out what rights

5:01

they had for what books they could and couldn't

5:03

publish. And so this was one

5:05

of them that came out after that lawsuit. So

5:07

they couldn't use certain like, I

5:10

think they couldn't do any sort of like the hardback

5:13

yellow spine style that they had done with

5:15

the previous publisher. So these are

5:17

supposed to be reminiscent of the old ones, but

5:19

more modernized. And then the Nancy Drew files

5:21

were what came after they ended the quote

5:24

unquote original run. And those were meant

5:26

to keep up with more like teen

5:28

dramas. So they

5:31

are like reading a soap opera essentially

5:34

with lots of hardthrobs. And

5:36

like, if you look at the covers of the files, there's

5:39

Nancy and then some hunk looking

5:41

wongingly at her while they're both in danger

5:43

on every single

5:46

one. Love that for her.

5:50

So I also read this one as a

5:52

kid, I'm pretty sure. I probably

5:55

mentioned Kristin probably will know

5:57

better than than I currently do

5:59

what I meant in the previous Nancy Drew episode,

6:02

but like I read a lot of these as

6:04

a kid. They weren't my bread and butter the

6:06

way kind of Baby-Sitters Club was, but

6:08

my mom would like sometimes go, especially if I was

6:10

sick, and just get like a handful

6:13

of them from the library and I would buzz through

6:15

them. And I am like 98% sure

6:17

that I already

6:19

read this one. I didn't remember

6:21

a lot about it,

6:24

but it like I wasn't like when I started

6:26

it wasn't like, oh yeah I read this, you know, this

6:29

is the bad guy and this is what happens in this, but like every

6:32

thing happened. I

6:33

was like, oh yeah I do actually remember

6:35

this having happened before.

6:38

That's where I am with this book.

6:41

What I remember is I was

6:43

like let's do the book I read at camp where

6:45

there's a Black Widow spider in Nancy's

6:48

fruit basket and that's really the only

6:50

plot point I remembered, but I remembered

6:52

it so vividly, although it turns

6:54

out slightly incorrectly, but I was like very

6:57

captivated by the the Black Widow

6:59

spider in the fruit basket, which happens very

7:02

early on in the book. And then the other

7:04

thing I remembered is Bess's

7:07

weight loss journey, which we'll talk about. Oh that

7:09

reminds me, god

7:11

we just like jumped into Nancy. Okay so if

7:14

we mentioned his flashback summer, it's

7:16

flashback summer, we're returning to books of

7:18

our childhood, blah blah blah blah. This

7:20

book has a little some light Nancy Drew level

7:23

content warnings for like body

7:25

image weight loss in a

7:27

really unhinged kind of way and also

7:30

some

7:31

very weird ableism.

7:35

So that's coming. Get

7:37

ready. And

7:40

honestly I feel like all of the Nancy

7:42

Drew books kind of have to have that a little

7:45

bit of that trigger warning just because Bess,

7:48

one of her two best friends, is always

7:51

the fat one.

7:52

Like literally she's cute

7:55

and blonde and always trying to

7:57

find a new diet, but you

7:59

know

9:55

prepared

10:00

for in my future. Right?

10:03

This and quicksand. Oh, yes.

10:05

I do think Black Widow spiders

10:08

are up there with quicksand in terms of like

10:10

childhood fears that turn out to

10:12

be sort of like not really a big deal. Okay,

10:15

you say that, but we met at camp where

10:17

one of our counselor friends was bit

10:19

by Brown Recluses while we were there.

10:23

But that's Brown Reclus. I feel like

10:25

that is a scarier spider than Black Widow. I guess

10:27

I always think of them as adjacent. On

10:29

the color wheel. Yeah, Black and Brown. Yeah.

10:32

I feel like Black Widow are the ones

10:35

that like

10:36

in media, everyone's always

10:38

afraid of, but in real life Brown

10:40

Recluses actually scarier, but is

10:43

less, you know, they don't have as good a marketing

10:45

team, I guess. I don't know. But

10:48

yes. Yeah, totally. Okay,

10:52

so that's that's Prelude on Nancy. I guess

10:54

the other thing I should say is I read Nancy

10:56

Drew in grad school

10:59

because I took a history of children's

11:01

literature class and we had to read,

11:03

I don't remember, one of the early

11:06

ones and we had to read like excerpts

11:08

from the original publication

11:10

and then it because it was like republished

11:13

to make it less racist. So we read that

11:15

version too. That's

11:19

all. Nancy Drew also has some like racist

11:21

history and we're not going to talk about that because we're

11:24

talking about Solaire right now, but we know

11:26

about it. So don't worry about it.

11:28

But if you want me to talk about that, I can

11:30

talk at length because it is wild.

11:32

They changed those books insanely

11:35

from just like quote unquote eliminating

11:37

the racism. Yeah,

11:39

the racism was a big part

11:41

of it. Yeah,

11:44

when was this one published? Like probably 1980 something,

11:46

right? No, I think

11:49

when my mom sent it to me, it was like hot off the presses

11:51

because it is from 1993. Oh,

11:54

okay.

11:54

Well, yeah, and

11:57

it is. It is certainly. It's

12:01

funny because in some ways it feels very

12:04

like 80s, 90s fad

12:06

diet, but I guess the fad

12:09

diet wave never goes

12:11

away because it also does feel

12:14

like it maybe

12:14

could be now also.

12:17

Yeah, yeah, and timeless. And

12:19

the multi-level marketing of it

12:21

all. And even like because 90s fashions

12:24

are in right now, like the fashions

12:27

that I guess George and Nancy are

12:29

wearing on the cover, like these like

12:32

long cuffed denim shorts

12:34

and striped shirt that George is wearing

12:36

and then the leggings and oversized top

12:39

on Nancy. Like I could see cool

12:41

young people wearing these

12:43

today. And the phallic succulents.

12:46

You did notice those? Oh yeah. Oh

12:49

yeah. I was so distracted

12:51

because there were two of them. I have to

12:53

Google this cover. It's

12:56

really bad too. Because Nancy

12:58

is like climbing out of a window and it's

13:01

just like right there next to her.

13:03

I don't know. Something about the placement of it makes

13:05

it so much worse for me. Yeah. If

13:08

you access this book on Hoopla as I did,

13:10

it is fucked up in Hoopla and has the cover

13:12

of a different Nancy Drew book. I think it's fucked

13:15

up on the entire internet because when

13:17

I went to order my copy of this book, not

13:19

a single place that I looked for, like I

13:21

usually go to get used books online and not a single

13:24

place had the right cover associated with it. Maybe

13:27

they're trying to bury the

13:28

phallic cactus. I wouldn't blame them.

13:31

I am looking at it now and I

13:33

can confirm that these

13:36

fashions are sadly back in.

13:37

The headbands for sure. The

13:40

headbands, yeah. The fashions are in, the succulents

13:42

are in, MLMs are in. Unfortunately.

13:47

Sluts, should we get into it? Yeah. Right

13:50

off the bat, we are, if

13:52

you don't know Nancy Drew, like what are you doing? Because

13:54

I don't like, I know Nancy Drew

13:57

and I barely have read any of them, but

13:59

she is Nancy Drew. She is a detective. She has two

14:02

friends. George is sporty

14:04

and gay, but in this book, not canonically,

14:07

but you get it. And

14:09

as established, Bess is fat.

14:11

And those are her friends. And they

14:14

are in the shuttle bus going to

14:16

the Spa-Celaire in the desert.

14:19

And they're chatting with other passengers and

14:21

they're like, Oh my God, Spa-Celaire is so exclusive

14:24

and expensive. Like how are you here? And

14:26

Bess is like, I won a prize week,

14:28

say, because I sold the most

14:31

Solaire products in the whole Midwest region.

14:33

And then it reads like, spawn

14:36

for Solaire products because the other

14:38

passengers are like, Oh yes, it's easy

14:40

to sell Solaire products

14:41

because they're so good. Yes, Solaire products are

14:43

the best. And they're just like hyping

14:45

up Solaire moisturizers. And

14:48

I

14:49

loved it. I was like, this is so

14:51

dumb. I love it.

14:54

So as Renata said, Bess has won this

14:56

trip and she won a trip for two, but because

14:58

she couldn't decide between Nancy and George,

15:01

the two of them decided to ship

15:03

in and buy the third pass

15:06

together. So

15:08

all three of them could go together because

15:11

they have

15:11

to do everything together. So they

15:14

get to Solaire, they

15:16

make their way to their casita, which

15:20

is where they're all staying.

15:23

And theirs is the furthest away from everything

15:26

else. And they get there

15:28

and there's a fruit basket waiting for them.

15:30

And it has

15:32

a fucking black widow spider in it, baby. Yes. I was

15:35

going to say, I don't know if you caught the foreshadowing that Renata

15:37

dropped earlier in this episode,

15:40

but as they're looking through their fruit basket,

15:44

there's a box with a spider in it and

15:46

it is a black widow and they freak out.

15:50

Luckily, Hank the

15:52

ranch hand comes by and squishes it.

15:54

Yes. Hank is the bus driver and the

15:56

general like handy dude

15:59

around the.

15:59

spa. He dresses like a cowboy and he is able

16:02

to save

16:02

them from the Black Widow spider. But

16:10

Nancy, of course, immediately is like, ah,

16:12

but I as a detective

16:14

think that something bad could be

16:16

happening here. And to be fair, by the way,

16:18

when I remembered this, I remembered it as

16:20

just sort of like a loose Black Widow spider in

16:22

the fruit basket. But in fact,

16:25

it is carefully placed in a small box

16:27

that inside says Beyond Venue to Spasalaire.

16:31

And so when you think

16:32

about it, it's like the perpetrator

16:35

of these crimes, and I guess I won't spoil

16:37

it right away, the perpetrator of these crimes

16:39

had to go catch a Black Widow spider

16:42

carefully, like, inscribe

16:44

Beyond Venue and fancy fun, put it in the box,

16:47

close the box, put it in the fruit basket. Like,

16:49

this is some like Etsy crime.

16:52

I would read

16:54

that book series. So

16:57

later that day, they go to the main

17:00

compound for the spa,

17:02

and they all take turns meeting with the doctor

17:05

and having like a little welcome meal where

17:07

the meal is nothing. It's

17:10

like teeny tiny portions of food.

17:13

When they meet with the doctor, the doctor tells

17:15

Nancy that she's perfect, but could work

17:17

on her aerobics a little bit. But unfortunately,

17:19

the doctor does tell Bess, who is

17:22

constantly,

17:22

as we mentioned, trying to lose five

17:24

pounds, that she doesn't have to lose five pounds,

17:26

she has to lose six pounds.

17:29

She's such a porker, six whole

17:32

pounds. Like I mentioned, this

17:34

was the other thing that was really formative to me, like,

17:37

the concept of like someone,

17:39

like an individual pound

17:42

mattering that much, like, it's

17:44

not like, oh, it was five pounds, but it

17:46

was 10. Now, like, I actually have to lose 10

17:48

pounds, like, she's not

17:50

that fat, she doesn't need to lose 10 pounds,

17:52

she needs to lose six pounds, like I can't

17:55

comprehend that, but that really, like,

17:58

definitely stuck with me.

18:00

Uh,

18:01

not great.

18:03

No.

18:04

Not great. The other thing that keeps happening in this one

18:06

is that every time someone sees George, they're like,

18:08

ah, you must love tennis. And George is like, I

18:11

do love tennis, but I'm vaguely offended

18:13

that you keep assuming that I love tennis. But

18:16

so they do decide to go out to the tennis

18:19

courts after the little tour

18:21

and do

18:22

some tennis because there are some pros

18:25

who are on site who are doing a demonstration.

18:27

And once they're done, George is like, yeah,

18:30

like, let's do some tennis. I'll turn on the automatic

18:32

tennis machine to throw some balls for us,

18:35

except that when Nancy gets in position

18:37

to hit some tennis balls, what comes out

18:39

of the automatic tennis machine is not tennis

18:41

balls, but rocks.

18:44

And it's terrible.

18:47

And a rock hits her and then they

18:49

find George and George

18:52

has been knocked unconscious. Yes.

18:55

And like dragged up into the desert. And

18:58

again, like reverse engineering,

19:00

like this person had to

19:02

like take the balls out, put the rocks in,

19:05

hit George, drag her away. Like

19:07

where were the other people at this rate? Like,

19:09

how did,

19:11

how did they get away with it and broad desert

19:13

daylight? And it seems like it happened

19:16

in the matter of like 30 seconds.

19:18

Yes. That is the part

19:20

that

19:20

really got it from me was that like in

19:23

the time it took for this machine to

19:25

turn on and start throwing tennis

19:28

balls, someone reloaded

19:31

it with rocks, knocked George unconscious,

19:34

dragged her away. It

19:36

just seemed like a lot. So Nancy brings

19:38

up the

19:40

issues that they have been having at the spa with

19:42

the staff, but they're like, oh, it's

19:45

not a big deal. We have security.

19:47

Nothing's happening. It's totally fine

19:49

that our tennis machine threw rocks

19:51

at you and your friend was knocked

19:54

unconscious. And each time, like

19:56

throughout this, every time something bad

19:58

happens, Nancy goes to reception.

19:59

I must report this immediately." And

20:02

every time they're like, oh my God, that's crazy. Nothing

20:04

like this has ever happened here before. And

20:08

it's happened multiple times this day. Your

20:10

denial is losing plausibility

20:12

each time. But every time they're like, nothing

20:15

like that happens here. I don't know what to tell you. It's

20:17

like they're fully gaslighting girl bosses

20:20

at Solaire.

20:21

Yes. And Nancy

20:23

mentions that she is a detective. And

20:26

Kim, the nature guide,

20:29

perks up at this. And later

20:31

on, hands Nancy a note that

20:34

she claims Nancy dropped. And

20:36

inside the note is a message from Kim

20:38

that says,

20:39

I need to talk to you about

20:41

things that are going on here.

20:42

And Nancy's like, ah,

20:45

like excellent. There is a mystery and

20:47

I can help. And somebody is, someone

20:49

on this staff wants my help. So the next

20:51

day they are supposed to go on a nature hike

20:54

with Kim. And Nancy's like, this is perfect. When

20:56

we're on the hike, I'll find a time

20:58

when I can get Kim alone and we can

21:00

talk about whatever it is that's bothering

21:02

her. And on their hike,

21:05

Kim's like, oh, also I'm a photographer.

21:08

So I'm gonna go take some photos. And Nancy's like,

21:10

I too will go with you to take photos.

21:13

And as they are taking photos,

21:16

before Nancy can start talking to Kim about

21:19

why she slipped her this note, a flash

21:21

flood comes down and

21:24

sweeps

21:24

Kim away, maybe. And

21:28

Nancy has to very quickly climb a tree

21:30

to stop from being swept away by the

21:32

flash flood. But they called a wall

21:34

of water. A wall of water. Yeah,

21:37

this is because, I don't know if

21:39

you've been following the clues, the villain

21:41

of this is actually the sea god Poseidon.

21:45

That would explain, I don't

21:47

know, something about the wall of water as

21:49

the descriptor really, I

21:51

had a hard time envisioning

21:53

that. And maybe it's just because I haven't spent very

21:56

much time in the desert, but is that

21:58

like a thing? Like, do you-

22:00

I do think flash floods are a problem

22:02

in the desert because the

22:05

soil doesn't hold a lot of water or whatever

22:07

and then when it does rain hard then it's like,

22:09

oh, too much water. But the idea

22:12

of coordinating the past

22:15

rainfall, I don't know. I guess maybe

22:18

charitably the villain simply took advantage

22:20

of the timing for an extra bonus

22:23

nefarious plan. But

22:24

what? It

22:26

just felt like all of a sudden we needed this

22:29

thing to happen and

22:32

it's like, ah, wall of water. It

22:34

didn't seem to be raining. It didn't seem to be

22:36

anything. It's just like, no, we're in danger. No.

22:39

And after they're like, oh, it's because 10 hours

22:42

ago it rained hard elsewhere and then

22:44

the water went up the creek and did this.

22:47

And

22:47

that I don't know about. I do know that desert flash floods

22:50

generally are an issue because of that.

22:53

But anyway, it happened. Deal with it.

22:56

Deal with it, Nancy.

22:58

So most of the rest of

23:00

their group got off of the trail

23:02

and were able to get to higher land more

23:04

easily. So they decide they're going to go back and

23:07

go for help and before long

23:09

search and rescue come. And

23:12

there is this one particular woman who is

23:14

just... Yeah.

23:17

Melina is like the rich bitch and I kind

23:19

of love her. And she's like, are

23:21

you here to rescue us? And then the surgeon

23:23

rescue guys are rude to her. They're like, you don't seem like

23:26

you need to be rescued. And it's like they were

23:28

all just affected by this flood actually.

23:31

But Nancy quickly points out that Kim, their

23:33

guide, is missing and probably does actually

23:36

need to be rescued. So they start looking

23:38

for her and send everybody

23:40

else back to the spa.

23:44

But as they are sort

23:46

of picking through the remains of the flood on their

23:48

way back towards the spa, Bess

23:51

does find Kim's camera

23:53

like in the mud. So they're able to get

23:55

the camera and get

23:59

the film inside.

23:59

seems to be still okay, so they

24:02

head back to the spa. And

24:05

I thought this was going to have bigger repercussions

24:07

than it did,

24:08

it did not have repercussions. They're

24:11

hesitant to send the

24:13

camera film out through the spots, the spots,

24:15

like we can get the film developed, or you

24:17

can hike 14 miles into town and

24:20

have it developed there. And so they're

24:22

like, okay, well, we're really nervous

24:25

that

24:26

the spa, someone who works

24:28

here is in on all of these disasters,

24:31

so this could be a bad idea, but I guess we

24:33

don't want to hike 14 miles to get it done in town,

24:36

so we'll just have the spa do it. And

24:38

it's fine,

24:39

they send the photos back and they seem to be fine. And

24:42

it's like cheerful too, when they give them back.

24:44

Like she hunts them down, it's like, oh,

24:46

your pictures are here, aren't you excited? Like

24:48

it's never mentioned again. Yes. They

24:51

do get a clue from the photos, but the

24:53

spa people don't give a shit about the film. Yes,

24:56

and that's what I was, when they were like, oh

24:58

yeah, the spa people, I was

25:00

waiting for the moment when they were gonna be like, there's

25:03

pictures missing, like I can tell, but there

25:06

wasn't, anyway. Arguably would have

25:08

been a better subplot. Yeah.

25:09

Yeah, the spa people

25:11

aren't trained detectives, so they would not have noticed

25:14

the clue that Nancy noticed, so they were like, these

25:16

photos are fine. So they

25:18

have to go through their regular spa

25:20

routines despite

25:25

this disaster. So they all

25:27

have to go to the gym to do

25:29

their workouts and strength training that

25:32

is assigned to them at the spa. Bess

25:34

is in love with the trainer, Alan,

25:37

and his

25:39

like

25:40

training routine for her. She

25:43

like gets obsessive about doing the exercise

25:46

that he assigns to her. And while they

25:48

are in the weight room at one point,

25:50

a cable on one of the weight machines snaps

25:53

and one of the people

25:55

who's at the spa pulls a tendon or

25:58

something in her arm because of it.

25:59

And, you know,

26:02

it's yet another terrible thing that has happened.

26:05

And upon further examination

26:08

of it, Nancy sees that the,

26:10

like, cable for the weight machine has

26:12

been cut clear through, not frayed

26:15

or anything.

26:18

So someone has clearly done this on

26:20

purpose. And Alan insists

26:23

that he checked the machines, and

26:25

they were fine before

26:28

this strength training class. And

26:31

he had nothing to do with it. And

26:34

no one really seems to

26:36

accept that the

26:37

cord was cut, even though it very clearly was.

26:40

He was the one who also checked

26:42

the tennis ball machine that

26:45

sent rocks at George, or at Nancy

26:47

A2.

26:48

Okay. Yeah, because nothing like this

26:50

happens at Spasalair. Nothing.

26:53

Well, okay, so question about his name, because

26:56

in the book I was reading, it was spelled

26:58

A-L-A-I-N, so

27:00

I was thinking it was Elaine, but like a

27:02

man. Did

27:04

either of you listen to it, or is

27:06

that a way to spell Alan? I think it's

27:08

French for Alan. Oh, because the whole

27:11

stuff is French. Yeah.

27:13

I listened to it, but I didn't listen to an

27:15

audio version. I have the accessibility

27:18

speaker on my phone

27:20

read it to me. So... I've

27:22

pulled up a video how to pronounce

27:25

Elaine. Okay, according to this

27:27

YouTube video, French names pronunciation

27:29

guide were all wrong, and it's Alain. Alain?

27:32

Okay. Alain? All right.

27:34

But... Yeah, apparently he had a French-Canadian

27:36

accent, too. Yeah, his friends

27:39

call him Al. They

27:42

don't, but we can call him Al, because we're American. Dirtbags.

27:46

So they have had a hard day, where

27:49

no one believes that anything is going wrong at

27:51

the spa. And Bess

27:55

has really gone totally unhinged about

27:57

doing her routine in life.

27:59

losing her six pounds and is

28:02

tracking

28:03

down to ounces how

28:06

much weight she's lost. It's...

28:08

Bess is doing eating disorder behaviors

28:11

in a way that's not really properly

28:13

addressed and then also immediately reverts

28:16

away at the end of the book. Yes. Okay.

28:19

Also, didn't they say there was some energy

28:21

drink or something that she was drinking

28:23

while she was there? Oh, yeah. The

28:26

spa prescribed her a meal replacement

28:28

drink or something and Nancy's like,

28:30

is that safe? And Bess is like, the doctor

28:33

at Spa-Celer says it is. So yeah.

28:36

Because I thought this was going to be a very special

28:38

episode, like Unsaved by the Bell, where Jesse

28:40

States starts taking steroids for the volleyball

28:42

team where Bess

28:43

gets jacked. But

28:45

then it's not addressed by the end of the

28:47

book. I thought it was going to be part of the multi-level

28:49

marketing is that they have this supplement

28:52

shake or something. And that's why Bess was going

28:54

going because it seemed like there were like half

28:57

the people there were really into it and

28:59

were going strong and the other half weren't

29:01

and were complaining that the meals were too small. So

29:03

I was really expecting a subplot where they

29:05

were like putting unsafe chemicals

29:08

in some sort of drink. And that

29:10

was a thing that I made up entirely in my brain

29:12

throughout this entire book. Yeah, it's another

29:15

like thing that that would

29:17

have maybe made this book better. Because

29:20

yeah, that's exactly what people

29:22

there's a bunch of people there who are like super into it. There

29:25

are others who aren't. Like Bess gets mad

29:28

at Nancy and George because Nancy snuck

29:30

in secret chocolate bars and they're eating them. And

29:33

she's like, no, like I can't betray

29:35

my diet and my

29:37

act like she starts like waking up early to do

29:39

exercise.

29:40

And they're like, Bess, this is very

29:42

unlike you. And she's like, no, I got to lose this six pounds.

29:45

So it did feel like

29:47

diet culture crazy. But

29:50

I guess that was just the 90s. But

29:53

yeah, so they decide they want to do a spa day. So

29:56

they use the spa facilities

29:58

and they get like facials and massage.

29:59

And while

30:02

they're there, Melina, the

30:05

rich person from the city… You

30:07

can say rich bitch. You can

30:09

say it. Okay. Sorry, that's… I

30:14

wasn't not saying it on purpose. You

30:16

just, like, pause, and I was like, she's

30:18

a bitch, and I respect her. She

30:22

comes in and she's like, what are you doing? Mudmasks?

30:24

Can I have one to go? And they're like, no, you have to do

30:27

mudmasks for here. And she's like,

30:29

okay. And then she's like, never mind. And she,

30:31

like, storms out. And Nancy's like,

30:33

wow, I think Melina just needs a friend

30:36

to talk to. And Nancy

30:38

also gets the photos that she had developed

30:42

back. And

30:43

in it, there's one

30:46

photo where you can see someone in the

30:48

background. You can't see who it is, but

30:50

you can see, like,

30:52

the arm of their shirt. And

30:55

it's right before Kim disappeared

30:57

and the flood happened. So they think that this is

30:59

a clue. So they decide they're going

31:01

to see if anyone who

31:04

works at the spa has a shirt that

31:06

matches the pattern of the plaid

31:09

and that maybe they're involved,

31:11

because it's possible that Kim

31:15

has been kidnapped and

31:17

was not swept away by the flood, but that this is part

31:19

of whatever it was that she was going to

31:21

tell Nancy about. Yeah. And it

31:24

is a flannel shirt. And they're like, no one wears

31:26

flannel in the desert. It's too hot. But

31:28

what if someone did wear flannel?

31:30

Well, it would probably be Hank the Horseman.

31:33

Yes, they rule out a

31:35

bunch of people and decide that Hank

31:37

is a good candidate. And they

31:41

figure out that

31:43

he lives on the property.

31:45

So Nancy is going to break into his home.

31:48

And this, like, the fact of this being the one

31:50

hundred and eleventh book, like, really

31:52

makes some of the errors the girls make

31:55

like really ridiculous. Like, it's not

31:57

your first rodeo. It is your one

31:59

hundred. and 11th rodeo and you're

32:02

out here wearing like loose accessories

32:04

for your B and E job, Nancy, get

32:07

it together. You should know

32:09

now, like everywhere you go, you should be packing

32:12

like a navy blue cat suit and

32:14

like a beanie hat to

32:16

disguise

32:17

your features. What the fuck are you doing?

32:19

Okay, it's actually funny that you say a beanie because

32:22

I was watching the first season

32:24

of the Nancy Drew TV show on

32:27

The CW and you

32:29

can tell even if they don't say in

32:32

the show that she's going to break in somewhere,

32:34

but she puts on a black beanie

32:37

as like a warning to the audience

32:39

that she's going to be breaking in somewhere.

32:42

And so that was actually what I started

32:44

my YouTube channel doing was just commenting on those

32:46

videos. And I referred to it

32:48

as her B and E

32:50

and I'm pretty good at myself.

32:52

Yes.

32:55

But she did not have that at Solaire unfortunately.

32:57

Yeah, I'm just like girl, what are you doing? Like

33:00

she's probably wearing exactly the outfit you see in the

33:02

cover of the book where she is doing her B and

33:04

E at this like very low to the ground

33:06

window that is a weirdly designed house.

33:09

But anyway, she does she breaks

33:11

into Hank's house and finds

33:13

the shirt but also loses

33:16

her dumb bracelet inside his

33:18

house. But more important even

33:20

than the shirt is that she

33:22

notices some artifacts from

33:25

Hank's

33:25

past including some

33:28

old newspaper clippings that talk about a

33:30

woman named Heather Sinclair, who

33:33

was an equestrian who

33:35

was blinded by unsafe makeup

33:38

from this French company and

33:41

her father Henry who had to sell

33:44

his ranch in order to

33:46

pay for her trial her her

33:48

suing the company and they

33:51

did win their case but the company disappeared

33:53

before they could pay out the settlement.

33:55

And Nancy is

33:57

like, Hmm, maybe Hank is something sometimes

34:00

the nickname for Henry, maybe these things are connected.

34:03

So yes, she gets some important clues about

34:05

what is possibly going on and then

34:07

immediately calls her father and asks him

34:10

to do some research for her. Heather, I would like

34:12

to do a mini dramatic reading of the full

34:14

text of the phone call to her dad. Hi,

34:16

dad.

34:18

Yes, we're all fine. I was wondering if

34:20

you could do a little research for me. I need

34:22

to know anything you can find out about a French

34:24

cosmetics company called Je Nous and

34:26

an American girl from Tucson named Heather Sinclair,

34:29

who was blinded by one of their products. Also,

34:32

anything you can find on Jacqueline and Laurent

34:34

Roger.

34:35

And then it says

34:37

she chatted for a few minutes and they hung up. But

34:40

basically, she's calling her dad and just

34:43

giving him a little info dump and then like, well, bye.

34:45

And then

34:46

he calls back later that night

34:48

and this is 1993. So he

34:50

couldn't just Google it, but he is like,

34:53

yes, I found many relevant details for

34:55

you. Here you go. Love you, daughter. Goodbye.

34:57

Maybe he has like, you know, secret lawyer,

35:00

Google secret lawyer, Usenet.

35:03

He got an alt.lawyer.stalking.

35:06

I don't know. He did it. He made his

35:08

paralegal run to the library and do all

35:10

this research so that he could call

35:11

his daughter back on her vacation

35:14

and tell her all this information. I

35:17

guess so they

35:20

they have all this new information. They think

35:22

that Hank is probably the one who might be behind

35:24

this. And then

35:26

they find out that Kim has sent

35:28

a letter to the spa and has basically been like, Hi,

35:31

everyone. Wow, that flash flood was scary.

35:33

I ended up far away and it

35:35

made me rethink my life. So I'm quitting my job and never

35:37

coming back. Bye. And

35:41

they're like, so so the case

35:43

is closed. Kim is fine. And

35:45

Nancy's like, this doesn't feel weird to you that

35:48

that you think that's normal. You think this is

35:50

she didn't come back and get her stuff or anything. She's

35:52

just

35:53

OK. Sure. And obviously

35:56

thinks that it is fishy and they

35:59

They later are doing

36:02

another exercise day

36:04

where they're running around the spa

36:07

grounds and how did you pronounce

36:09

the name again?

36:10

Alon? Yes. Or

36:13

just call him Al. Al. Okay.

36:16

Al is particularly nagging Nancy for her

36:18

inability to keep up with the

36:20

run that they're all

36:23

on. And so she gets

36:26

so mad at him

36:27

that she sprints the last few

36:29

steps and as she's

36:31

crossing the finish

36:33

line, which is the

36:35

opening gates

36:38

of the spa, there's a big

36:40

crash behind her and it turns out that the

36:42

sign for the spa, which had been hanging

36:44

up over this archway, has

36:47

fallen and nearly could have killed her

36:49

and the person behind her. And

36:53

she shows Al that

36:55

the

36:55

strips of rawhide that

36:58

kept it tied to the arch have been cut

37:00

through and he has to admit that

37:02

this is like the second time in two days

37:05

that something like this has happened and something

37:08

bad is clearly

37:08

happening here. Another

37:12

general thing about the vibes of the spa

37:14

is that Nancy's snooping is constantly

37:17

being curtailed because staff is always escorting

37:19

her from places and she's like, what?

37:22

Are we like prisoners here? And they're like, no, but

37:25

safety is important to us. So you need an

37:27

escort. And she's like, but I thought bad things didn't

37:29

happen here. And they're like, yeah, it's

37:31

because of the escorts that

37:33

nothing bad happens here. And

37:35

it's really, I mean, if you think

37:37

about it, it's just like a microcosm of

37:39

the police state.

37:41

So

37:44

Nancy has at one

37:46

point that I forgot to mention, looked up Kim's

37:49

mother's phone number and called her and been like,

37:51

hey, Kim's mother. Hi,

37:53

it's me, Nancy Drew. Have you heard from Kim

37:55

lately? Okay, bye. And

37:59

her father.

37:59

calls her back first and she thinks

38:02

that it's gonna be Kim's mother

38:04

but it's not. And he tells her

38:06

about the lawsuits and everything

38:09

that had happened with Heather Sinclair and another young

38:11

girl who had gotten like

38:13

disfigured from using the...

38:16

The moisturizer. Yeah, the moisturizer

38:19

from this other French cosmetics

38:21

company. Janus. Janus.

38:24

And

38:25

that she and Heather

38:27

Sinclair who was blinded by using the mascara

38:30

had both sued and they had won and their

38:33

settlement had never been paid out because Janus

38:35

disappeared as did the folks who

38:37

were running it and there's a good

38:39

chance that they could be, you know,

38:42

because those people also disappear, that they could be,

38:44

you know, these people who are now running Solaire

38:46

and Nancy's like,

38:49

good work, dad. Thanks for the assist

38:51

on this one, bye. And

38:53

then Kim's mother does call

38:56

back and immediately is like,

38:58

have you heard, Nancy's like, have you heard from Kim? And

39:00

her mom's like, yeah, she said that

39:03

she needed to rethink her life. And

39:06

she's like, okay, well, where did she call from? And

39:08

she's like, I, she didn't say, I guess, Tucson,

39:10

because that's kind of like the nearest big

39:13

city to where the spa is. And

39:16

Nancy's like, not Phoenix. And

39:19

her mother's like, oh, God, no, Kim

39:21

hates Phoenix. And the

39:23

letter had

39:24

very specifically said, you know, I'm

39:26

going to go to Phoenix to rethink my life and my choices

39:28

and go to some museums. And

39:31

so Nancy's like, so she wouldn't have gone to Phoenix to go to

39:33

museums. And then her mom's like, no, she hates

39:35

museums too. She hates Phoenix and

39:37

museums. Why would you ever suggest she would do

39:39

that? And it, do you know

39:41

that meme that goes around that's like, what would

39:44

you like tweet or post if you'd been kidnapped

39:46

and you wanted to like signal that something was wrong?

39:49

And it's very funny to me that somebody's

39:52

version of that would be like, I love Phoenix,

39:54

Arizona and museums. Like, because

39:57

mine

39:59

is always a like, whenever that goes around, mine is like,

40:01

wow, Duarte is such a big, ugly boy.

40:03

If I ever post

40:06

that, send help.

40:08

What about you guys? What would your coded,

40:10

I love Phoenix message be?

40:12

The last time that that meme went around

40:15

that I remember, I

40:18

specifically remember saying

40:21

that mine would be something to the effect of

40:23

like, Dear Evan Hansen is

40:25

great. And I am totally fine with the results

40:27

of the 2017 Tony awards. Oh,

40:32

that's not a chill down my spine.

40:36

I think mine would be, Oh, I just

40:38

watched the movie license to wet

40:41

another time and I'm so happy with my

40:43

life decisions.

40:45

Wait, I don't I don't know that movie.

40:47

What is it? Oh, it's so

40:49

bad. It has Robin Williams,

40:51

many more and John Krasinski in it.

40:54

Oh, I vaguely remember this coming

40:56

right because it wasn't worth remembering.

40:59

But yeah, I managed to have to see it

41:01

three times when it was a movie theaters.

41:04

Yes. Look, I was starting college,

41:07

I was I was learning social situations

41:10

and it just ended up that way badly. So

41:12

now I have like an intrinsic hatred

41:14

for that

41:15

movie no matter no matter the

41:17

situation. So if yes, also I

41:19

as somebody who's been married twice and never had

41:21

a wedding, wedding movies are not my thing.

41:26

That's my call for help license to okay.

41:29

Okay, I'll keep that in mind. If I ever see that

41:31

come up, I will call 911. I'm

41:33

glad I put this out there though, because I'm not sure my hatred

41:36

for that movie is as well known as it should be. Yeah,

41:38

I had no idea. Okay,

41:40

I'm glad we had this talk. So anyway, Kim needs

41:43

help because she would never

41:46

go to a museum in Phoenix. Yes.

41:49

So obviously, she's been

41:51

married twice. Yes. And so they're

41:53

like, Oh, well, who could it be?

41:55

Who is on the staff? Like

41:58

they're still like, like they sort of think

41:59

a tank, but they're also kind of like it could be someone

42:02

else. We don't know. The problem is everyone

42:04

is so suspicious because they're all French and

42:07

you know how French people are, especially

42:09

to Americans in the 90s. Yes.

42:12

Terrifying. So the next day

42:15

they're going on a field trip to

42:17

like an old timey part of Tucson

42:20

that has like real food and real

42:22

shops and things in it. And they're very excited

42:25

because they can eat regular food. And

42:27

while they're there, there's

42:28

a movie filming there that's filming like

42:31

a scene where a stagecoach

42:33

goes off a cliff and Nancy

42:36

is snooping around and gets

42:39

knocked upside the head and

42:42

wakes up when she is in the

42:44

back of a stagecoach

42:46

tied up and she can hear the

42:49

instructions

42:49

for the stagecoach from the stunt

42:52

people being like, well, set

42:54

it on fire and then send it off the side of

42:56

the cliff. And she's like, oh shit. So

42:58

she does manage to make her way out of the stagecoach

43:02

and she does ruin the shot

43:04

for the director who's very mad

43:06

about it. And then Nancy's

43:09

like, also, hi, I'm a teenage girl

43:11

who's

43:11

going to be murdered in the back of your stunt

43:14

thing. Yep. And then it gets

43:16

it goes so off the rails

43:19

in a way. I

43:20

didn't remember any of this, like to

43:23

the point where I'm sure that I finished reading

43:25

this because that's the kind of kid I was like, if you

43:27

give me a book, I would read the whole thing. But this,

43:29

it didn't seem familiar to me at all in the way that

43:32

fruit spider did this car.

43:34

So there's this thing where the

43:36

girls see Hank getting away. So they're

43:39

like, we need to follow him.

43:41

They steal a car from

43:43

Al and then like,

43:46

cause they're like, Oh, maybe he's in on it too.

43:48

But then it's revealed that he actually,

43:50

he's not a trainer. He's

43:53

a bodyguard that was

43:55

hired by the people running

43:57

the spa to protect them because

43:59

they're not.

43:59

they were being blackmailed. And he was

44:02

supposed to figure

44:02

out who the blackmailer was because they thought it was someone

44:04

on staff. And he

44:07

ends up sort of like

44:09

teaming up with Nancy, but sort of not

44:11

because he's like, oh, like you ruined everything.

44:14

I was like building a case against this blackmailer

44:16

because we knew it was Hank, but we needed proof. But

44:18

you fucked it up by meddling. And

44:21

she's like, oh, well, if you're so smart, like

44:23

you guys didn't even know that Kim was kidnapped.

44:26

You thought that she went to Tucson to go to,

44:28

went to Phoenix to go to museums, like

44:30

a fool. And he's

44:32

like kind of grumbly about that. And

44:35

they, together he's like, okay,

44:38

well, I know where Hank's other secret

44:40

house is.

44:42

So let's go up to his other secret

44:44

house and see if we can find any clues there. And

44:46

they

44:47

do go to his other secret house.

44:49

And Nancy goes into

44:52

the basement. She was able to pick the lock for the basement

44:54

and they find Kim there. And they're like, yes,

44:57

we can now prove that she's been kidnapped,

45:00

except that Heather Sinclair,

45:03

the equestrian blinded by

45:05

the French mascara,

45:07

who is Hank's daughter,

45:09

locks them all in the basement together in the dark

45:12

so that they have to understand the darkness

45:14

that she feels all the time

45:16

forever. Yeah, and this

45:18

is where, remember when I said it

45:20

gets real ableist,

45:22

here we are, here we are in it because

45:26

the state of being blind has

45:28

fully made her insane, which

45:34

in the parlance of the book, she

45:36

is insane. And she is just like this

45:38

cartoon villain who's like, he, he, he,

45:40

I'm blind and now I have no reason

45:42

to live because my life as a blind person is so

45:45

miserable.

45:46

And it's like

45:47

blind people have satisfying and

45:49

fulfilling lives

45:51

and it's fine.

45:53

Also, it seems to

45:55

have made her so fully on a hinge that

45:58

she's like, if I hear you trying to...

45:59

to escape in there. I will burn the whole

46:02

house down. Yeah, because she's

46:04

like, I don't care if I die because my

46:06

shitty life of as a blind woman

46:09

is, I might as well just like, kill

46:11

myself in this fire too. Like, ma'am,

46:13

what?

46:15

And they seem to introduce her like legitimately

46:18

out of nowhere. Like, I didn't know maybe

46:20

I missed something, but I didn't know she was in the house. I

46:23

didn't even realize that she was going to be a character in

46:25

this book, because they'd already introduced like 14 other

46:27

characters. And all of a

46:30

sudden, I heard her voice

46:32

when I was reading it in like, the Wicked

46:34

Witch of the West, because she

46:37

was so like, I'm gonna get you

46:39

too, my pretty, and then you hear the match

46:42

light over the top of them. It was so

46:45

bizarre.

46:45

Like, it felt like it was out of a cartoon

46:47

or a different series altogether. Yeah,

46:49

it was a super like we knew that she existed

46:52

because Nancy had found the clippings when she was doing

46:54

her B&E. But

46:56

it was a surprise that she was in the because

46:58

when they go into the house, like they

47:00

think the house is empty, and then they are all in

47:02

the basement. So I think the implication

47:04

was maybe that she was

47:06

out of the house doing her evil blind

47:08

girl shit, and then she came back in and

47:10

realized they're in the basement. I don't know.

47:12

It's wild. Yeah, so

47:15

they are like, Oh, well, we're trapped in

47:17

the basement. Now we have one flashlight, but the batteries

47:19

aren't great. They do find that

47:21

conveniently Hank has stored all of

47:24

his evil documentation in the basement,

47:27

along with his kidnapped

47:29

charge,

47:30

his hostage. So they

47:32

do learn a lot. They do get to like

47:34

do some some info

47:37

dumping to the audience about what

47:39

has been going on. And

47:42

they well, and then they're like,

47:44

Oh, no, we'll never be rescued because this house

47:46

is like so in the middle of nowhere. Like, what

47:49

are we going to do? And then they start like tunneling

47:51

through the ceiling. Because

47:53

he conveniently left tools

47:55

down there. Like what did they say, a hammer and

47:58

a crowbar? And he's like,

47:59

like, well, these aren't the perfect tools,

48:02

but like, I guess this will do. I'm like, are you

48:04

serious? If you're trying to get out of somewhere, like a

48:06

crowbar is probably tool number

48:09

one that most people would ask for, I feel like.

48:11

Yeah. And since they can't

48:13

go at the door, because if she

48:16

hears them trying to bang on the door, she

48:18

will burn the house down. Like

48:20

Kristen said, they tunnel through the ceiling by

48:23

pulling off planks

48:25

of wood and then like slipping

48:28

out to get the cops. But

48:30

it turns out that who

48:32

was George was with them and Bess called the cops.

48:35

Yes. Yeah, that Bess

48:37

and the cops had, even though Al was

48:40

completely convinced that no one would ever

48:43

be able to find this house in

48:43

the woods, they were able to find the

48:46

house in the woods, it turns out. Which

48:48

side note, I do feel like this was kind of

48:50

interesting. Bess wasn't with them for reasons.

48:54

I can't remember why, but she was kind

48:56

of mad because she had a crush

48:59

on Al and sort of thought

49:01

that Nancy was looking for

49:03

mysteries where there weren't any just because

49:05

like she likes to solve a mystery.

49:08

And I did think that that was kind of an interesting

49:10

conflict that potentially

49:12

could have come up a hundred other times. But

49:15

I do like that they included that here.

49:17

Yeah. But the problem is, it's only because

49:19

Bess is like fully brainwashed by

49:21

the spa and diet culture.

49:24

Yeah, they could have dove deeper into that.

49:26

Nancy's like own psyche there

49:29

and made that more interesting, but they only had 150 pages.

49:32

Yeah. So they get rescued

49:35

and Hank implies that there

49:37

is some other

49:40

terrible thing that he has set up that

49:42

will happen because

49:43

there's like one day left of spa week. But no

49:45

one will believe Nancy when she says like,

49:47

no, he has something else planned. And they're like, no, like

49:49

we would never, we would never allow

49:51

that. Our security is too good. And

49:54

it turns out he did have something planned. And

49:56

what he had planned was that he had somehow

49:58

switched out all.

49:59

of their big cardboard

50:02

like, posters

50:05

for their big MLM push

50:08

the next day where they're like, buy our products.

50:11

Here's how great they work. Here's pictures of

50:13

people using them. And had switched a bunch

50:15

of them

50:15

out with pictures of Heather

50:19

and the woman who had

50:22

been disfigured by the products and

50:25

like the court case and things

50:27

that make it clear that people who are running the spa

50:30

are also the people

50:30

who were running the old French

50:33

cosmetics company. And that

50:36

was his grand

50:39

finale for sabotaging

50:41

and blackmailing this spa.

50:44

And everybody sees it and everybody knows

50:46

that these products are bad

50:49

and that they did this bad thing.

50:51

And it turns out that Melina,

50:54

the rich girl, is the

50:56

sister of the person who got disfigured

50:58

using the

50:59

products. And that's why she's there. She

51:01

was working with Hank in order to do this

51:04

last presentation and bring down this company.

51:06

Let me read aloud Melina's mini

51:09

villain monologue. I'm

51:11

fine. The ones who are not fine are the

51:13

people who believe that Janus cosmetics

51:15

were safe. You ruined my sister's

51:17

modeling career. She's the girl in that

51:19

poster with the badly damaged skin. She's

51:22

still living in seclusion in France,

51:25

afraid to show the world her face. And

51:27

you blinded Heather Sinclair. She

51:29

held up a picture of the sightless girl

51:31

and showed it to the crowd.

51:33

Everyone gasped. And there's a lot

51:35

to unpack here. First of all,

51:38

again, if you have a facial

51:41

disfigurement, like obviously people can be dicks

51:43

about it, but like you don't have to go live in seclusion.

51:46

I mean, unless you

51:47

want it to live in seclusion,

51:49

which I do feel like a

51:51

lot of people would, but this girl does not. She's

51:54

afraid to. And then to show

51:57

up a photograph of a blind person,

52:00

I mean, how do you know from

52:02

the photo that she's blind? I don't know.

52:04

I don't know. But the crowd gasps. I

52:08

mean,

52:10

I guess like sometimes if you look at a blind person, like

52:12

their eyes are not like focused, obviously,

52:14

but like, I

52:15

don't know. I don't know if you would necessarily look at a

52:17

photo and be like, damn, that girl's blind.

52:21

Anyway, um, and

52:23

okay, the other thing that really gets me

52:26

is that best is like, oh my God, I

52:28

can't believe I've been like involved in this

52:30

evil MLM selling these products

52:32

that like maybe blinded people. And

52:35

Nancy says, so

52:37

layer products may be perfectly safe.

52:39

The regulations in this country are pretty

52:41

strict. Like Nancy,

52:44

are they? And then

52:46

besides, Laurent doesn't strike me as the kind

52:48

of man who makes the same mistake twice. Laurent,

52:51

who's like running this spot and like constantly

52:53

being like, no, there's no problems here. Everything's

52:56

fine. Nancy, what on earth has given

52:58

you such trust in like, A,

53:01

these evil French people and B, the American

53:04

FDA, neither of those are

53:06

particularly trustworthy. It's

53:08

true. Maybe in the 90s they were.

53:12

Maybe, by the way, and I'm not saying

53:14

this in a like weirdo anti-vaxxer way,

53:17

but just in a like, most

53:19

like supplements and stuff don't actually

53:21

like need FDA approval and like whatever.

53:25

I believe in science, but I don't

53:28

trust Nancy Drew's

53:31

patriotic tendencies. I believe in science, but you don't

53:33

necessarily trust the government. Thank

53:35

you. Anyway, what? And

53:39

then the book ends with

53:41

earlier Nancy revealed that she had packed

53:43

some hidden chocolate bars and she and George eat one.

53:46

And then at the end, best is like, wow, what

53:48

a trip. You got more chocolate? And then she's like,

53:50

yep.

53:51

And then it ends. Yup.

53:53

But they do make a point to let us know that best lost

53:55

what, like three and a half pounds while she was there.

53:58

Yeah.

53:59

Which like. Okay. Okay.

54:02

Yeah.

54:05

So this, again, the it was

54:07

formative for me. And it was

54:09

a quick read. Like, it's not that long. And there's kind

54:12

of the James Patterson School of like many chapters

54:14

with cliff hangers. And they're like, gasps, like, how's

54:16

she gonna get out of this? And then the next chapter, you're like,

54:18

oh, that's how she got out of it. It's like, it's

54:20

a quick read. I

54:22

think to me,

54:24

what it drove home to me is that

54:27

like,

54:27

none of these characters are

54:30

like, funny. Like, these aren't

54:32

books

54:33

that have a real sense of humor

54:36

about them. They're very

54:38

like, here's, here's a mystery. And

54:40

I like sports. And I like

54:43

chocolate. And like,

54:44

I do the mystery. And like,

54:46

I'm obviously these books like

54:49

very popular, very influential, blah, blah, blah. But like,

54:51

there's not a lot for like, my

54:54

reading sensibilities to like, grab

54:56

on to here. And some of the moments

54:58

that I thought were gonna be like

55:01

comedic relief. I think it

55:03

was one of those things where I was laughing in the movie

55:05

and nobody else was like when Al

55:08

jumps on the hood of the car and all

55:10

the time. Like, she ran him over

55:12

like, Oh, no, that was supposed to be

55:14

like, we're in an action movie. Got it. Yeah,

55:17

yeah. Yeah, it feels

55:19

like for this particular book, a

55:22

lot of the comic relief was perhaps

55:26

intended to be around, like,

55:29

best losing weight and like,

55:32

Oh, yeah, you know, like, best

55:35

all like, you know, there's best pretending like she's

55:37

gonna keep up this diet

55:40

and things like that, like, that just

55:42

aren't actually funny.

55:44

You're right. I like

55:46

George. Yeah. Well, and

55:48

then everybody's like, George likes tennis, like

55:51

that seemed to be, yeah, quote unquote,

55:53

joke. I did. I

55:56

did

55:56

get, you know, not like an out loud

55:59

chuckle, but a little mental. chuckle when

56:01

George is like, why does everyone keep one of the many

56:03

times George is like, why does everyone keep thinking that I like

56:05

tennis? And Nancy's like, well, you are wearing

56:07

a full tennis outfit. Yeah.

56:15

Yeah. Anyway,

56:17

should we move on to back readings?

56:19

Anybody else have things to say about the book at this

56:22

point?

56:22

Actually, you know, I just scrolled up in the doc. I have one

56:25

thing I want to say, just another

56:27

like wild thing to unpack. So

56:29

during the reveal that Al is

56:31

a bodyguard and not technically the spot thing,

56:35

Nancy says, I knew you weren't a real trainer.

56:37

And Al says, no, but

56:39

my father was one for a college football team.

56:41

I grew up in France with an exercise regimen

56:43

that makes Solaire's routine look like an afternoon

56:46

nail. Like, sorry, a French college

56:48

football team. Do

56:49

you mean, do French people call football

56:52

soccer? Like, is it that? Like, what the fuck

56:54

are you talking about?

56:56

I'm not a trainer, not him. Yeah.

56:59

Also, yeah. Being a trainer is not hereditary.

57:02

Like, you you didn't get that. But like, your

57:05

dad

57:07

was a was the coach of a

57:09

French college football team, or else the

57:11

dad was in America while Al grew up in France without

57:13

his dad, in which case, how is the dad's

57:16

profession at all relevant to the

57:18

skills? It just this

57:21

book, you

57:21

know, in the way that like some of these

57:24

like long running series where a new one was

57:26

coming out every month, it really like feels like

57:28

we're in some like monkeys on typewriter shit. Like,

57:30

what are we talking about here? Anyway,

57:34

yeah,

57:35

dramatic readings. I

57:37

will read the part that has

57:40

lived rent free in my memory

57:42

for years

57:43

and years and years. And

57:46

now it can be in yours, maybe, if

57:48

you want.

57:49

And this is from right at the beginning, like the girls

57:51

have just checked into Solaire and arrived at their casita

57:54

and observed a fruit basket.

57:57

I want some fruit, best declared.

57:59

eyeing the fruit basket.

58:01

She shook her head ruefully. I'm not

58:04

even here an hour and already I'm starved.

58:07

She walked over to the fruit basket and selected

58:09

a large orange.

58:10

Hey, what's this? She said, taking

58:12

a small wooden box from the basket. Here,

58:15

Nance, Best tossed the box

58:17

to Nancy and began to peel the orange. You

58:20

open it.

58:21

Nancy lifted the lid on the box and dropped

58:23

it with a muffled scream. What

58:26

is it? George asked, running over. A

58:29

spider, Nancy stammered, her heart

58:31

racing.

58:32

It's a lot smaller than you are. George

58:34

pointed out with a shrug. What's the big deal?

58:37

It's a black widow, Nancy

58:39

told her. Are you sure? George

58:42

asked. Nancy nodded as she glanced

58:44

down at the poisonous spider. It was

58:46

definitely a black widow, edging

58:49

over the lip of the box. At

58:51

the bottom of the box was a note written

58:53

in delicate, elegant script.

58:56

Beyond the new, it read, welcome

58:58

to Spasalaire. And that this

59:01

is a chapter cliffhanger. That's the end of chapter one, end

59:03

of chapter two. The black

59:05

widow scrambled over the side of the box and moved

59:07

toward George with unnerving speed.

59:09

It's just a spider, George said, sounding

59:12

as if she

59:12

were trying to calm herself. Get back,

59:14

Nancy cried. The venom from that thing is

59:17

worse than a rattlesnake's. Isn't

59:19

it supposed to have a red hourglass marking on

59:21

its stomach? Bess asked in a shaky voice.

59:24

She had moved quickly to the opposite side of the room.

59:27

I don't think we want to turn it over to find

59:29

out, Nancy said. I'm sure it's

59:31

a black widow, though. I've seen them before.

59:34

She looked up as a knock

59:35

sounded at the door. It's

59:37

Hank meter of what man's voice

59:39

called out. I brought your luggage.

59:42

Nancy kept trying the spider is best open

59:44

the door. What on Hank

59:46

began as he saw the terrified expressions on the

59:48

girls faces.

59:49

Oh, he said as his eyes went to

59:51

the spider. The spider scuttled

59:53

out across the floor and Hank quickly stepped

59:56

on it. That shouldn't have happened.

59:58

All of the buildings here are sprayed for a while. insects, but

1:00:00

sometimes they get inside anyway. Okay,

1:00:02

okay. By

1:00:09

the way, at least we didn't have a scene where anyone

1:00:11

had to suck venom out of somebody else's

1:00:14

arm. That is true.

1:00:16

We did dodge that this time.

1:00:18

Yeah.

1:00:19

I am

1:00:21

next, I'm going to read the letter

1:00:23

from Kim and then Nancy's conversation

1:00:26

with Kim's mother. I

1:00:29

summoned you because we have received word from Kim

1:00:31

Foster, Jacqueline began. I've already

1:00:34

told the staff the news and I'm speaking to the

1:00:36

other guests in the morning, but I know how

1:00:38

particularly concerned you three have been.

1:00:41

Did search and rescue find her? George asked

1:00:43

eagerly. No,

1:00:44

but there was no need. Jacqueline

1:00:47

explained. We received this letter

1:00:49

from her today. She held out a typed

1:00:51

letter to Nancy who read the letter aloud to

1:00:53

her friends. Dear Jacqueline and

1:00:56

Lauren, I just wanted to let

1:00:58

you know that I am fine.

1:00:59

I was swept downstream in the flood, but I managed

1:01:02

to make it to safety. Still, nearly

1:01:04

drowning is an upsetting experience,

1:01:07

especially for a wilderness expert. I

1:01:09

need some time to think things through, so I will not be returning

1:01:12

to Solaire. I'm going to spend the

1:01:14

next few weeks in Phoenix visiting museums

1:01:16

and taking in the sites. I'd appreciate

1:01:19

it if you could hold my mail and things until I return.

1:01:21

All the best, Kim Foster. Nancy

1:01:24

reread the letter silently. Something about

1:01:26

it didn't sound right. Are you

1:01:28

sure that's Kim's signature? She

1:01:30

asked the rosaries.

1:01:32

Of course, Lauren said. In fact,

1:01:35

I will prove it to you. He went over to a

1:01:37

wooden filing cabinet and pulled out a typed form

1:01:39

and handed it to Nancy. It was

1:01:41

Kim's original job application. The

1:01:44

signature was identical to the one on the letter.

1:01:47

So then we

1:01:49

skip forward in time a couple days. Later

1:01:52

that afternoon, Nancy, Bess, and George were

1:01:54

changing into swimsuits back in the Casita

1:01:56

when the phone rang. I'll get it. Nancy

1:01:58

called. Ms. Drew, said

1:02:01

an unfamiliar voice. This is Ruth Foster.

1:02:03

You left a message for me.

1:02:05

Yes, Nancy said. Your daughter Kim sent

1:02:07

a letter to the Rosaires yesterday, and

1:02:09

I was wondering if you had heard from her as well. Well,

1:02:12

as a matter of fact, she called yesterday morning, Kim's

1:02:14

mother answered. I was so relieved to hear

1:02:16

her voice. Where did she call from?

1:02:19

Nancy asked curiously.

1:02:21

Tucson, I suppose, Mrs. Foster

1:02:23

replied. I live about 60 miles south

1:02:25

of the city. Kim told me she'd been caught

1:02:27

in the flood but was washed onto dry land. The

1:02:30

flood left her pretty bruised, and it took her a while

1:02:32

to get back to civilization. Thank

1:02:34

goodness she's so at home in the desert.

1:02:37

Did Kim say where she was going? Nancy

1:02:39

asked. No, but she told

1:02:42

me she'd quit her job at the spa because she needed

1:02:44

some time off. I guess she was anxious to

1:02:46

get to Phoenix, Nancy said. That's what she

1:02:48

wrote in her letter.

1:02:49

Phoenix, Mrs. Foster echoed.

1:02:52

Are you sure? That's what

1:02:54

the letter said, Nancy said. But

1:02:56

my daughter can't stand Phoenix, Mrs.

1:02:59

Foster said. She calls it Congestion

1:03:01

City. Her letter said she wanted to see

1:03:03

the museums, Nancy explained.

1:03:05

Museums? Now Mrs.

1:03:07

Foster's voice was edged with astonishment.

1:03:10

I haven't been able to get that girl inside a museum

1:03:12

since she was 10. Kim's always been too

1:03:15

restless to spend much time indoors. She's

1:03:17

not happy unless she's hiking up a mountain or camping

1:03:19

under the stars. Museums?

1:03:22

Why, surviving that flood must have changed her

1:03:24

whole way of thinking. I

1:03:26

just don't understand

1:03:28

it. Yeah, so there

1:03:30

we go. Museums. Kim,

1:03:33

known museum hater. Yes. Okay,

1:03:37

so I'm gonna

1:03:39

read the section where we see

1:03:41

them actually enjoying parts

1:03:44

of the spa life. She

1:03:46

found George and Bess in one of the outdoor

1:03:48

jacuzzis. Come join us for a sec,

1:03:50

Bess called out. This water is so relaxing.

1:03:54

How did your talk with Jacqueline go? George

1:03:56

asked, what did she say about Kim?

1:03:58

The woman didn't pay attention to... word I

1:04:00

said," Nancy replied. That's terrible,

1:04:03

Beth said. Nancy sighed. I

1:04:06

know. So how was your afternoon?

1:04:08

I went riding, Beth reported, and

1:04:11

Hank was very nice. He's great

1:04:13

with the horses. He told me he used

1:04:15

to own his own ranch. Just

1:04:17

like Henry Sinclair, Nancy thought. Then

1:04:20

I went back to the gym and had a fitness session

1:04:22

with a late Allen. Beth

1:04:26

went on. Guess what? I've

1:04:28

lost another three quarters of a pound. And

1:04:32

I had a tennis game with Lisette, George

1:04:34

said. She's an incredible player.

1:04:37

Nancy felt a sudden twinge of regret. Now

1:04:40

that you guys are having a good time here, I hope

1:04:42

I haven't blown it for all of us. What

1:04:45

do you mean? Beth asked. I took

1:04:47

a chance confiding in Jacqueline, Nancy

1:04:49

said. She and Laurent are definitely

1:04:52

trying to hide something, and now she knows

1:04:54

I'm onto them. So I'm probably not

1:04:56

her favorite guest at the moment. I

1:04:58

just hope that I don't make things difficult for

1:05:00

you two. We'll

1:05:02

be okay, Georgia shored

1:05:04

her. If we can survive Elaine and the

1:05:06

rabbit food they feed us here, we can survive

1:05:09

anything. Yep. Okay,

1:05:16

let's move on to Reader's Advisory to

1:05:18

suggest some things to read instead of or

1:05:20

in addition to the secretet. So

1:05:23

there

1:05:24

and Kristen, let's start with you. You're

1:05:26

well prepared for this. Yes.

1:05:28

Okay, so the first thing there's a podcast

1:05:31

called It's a Clue, where

1:05:34

it's two sisters who read,

1:05:36

they start from the beginning of the original Nancy Drew series,

1:05:38

and they read one book for each episode,

1:05:41

and then just sort of analyze it. And

1:05:43

they're particularly interested in like the

1:05:46

food that they talk about in those, because there's a ton

1:05:48

of food. And they just have a really

1:05:50

good dynamic between them. So I think

1:05:52

that one's a lot of fun. And occasionally, they'll do other

1:05:55

like mystery books that aren't Nancy Drew specific.

1:05:58

And then

1:05:58

there is an entire line of

1:05:59

Nancy Drew like point and

1:06:02

click mystery games. They're kind

1:06:04

of low tech, but they're a ton of fun and actually

1:06:06

there's been a lot of hype lately because

1:06:08

they've announced a new one coming out soon

1:06:10

and the last one that they did was kind of a

1:06:13

bust so everybody's really excited for the new

1:06:15

one because it looks like it's going to be kind of good. But

1:06:18

I would suggest Secret at Shadow Ranch if

1:06:20

you want to pick up with any of those video games that's

1:06:22

sort of a fan favorite. But be

1:06:24

sure to avoid midnight in Salem

1:06:27

because that is

1:06:29

unarguably the worst of them. Then

1:06:31

they were mentioning

1:06:32

just

1:06:35

the desert itself they went through and were

1:06:37

doing a ton of like, oh,

1:06:40

here's this type of cactus and I didn't realize it would look like

1:06:42

this. And there's a YouTube channel

1:06:44

called Crime Pays but Botany

1:06:46

doesn't. That is just this

1:06:49

grumpy native Chicagoan

1:06:52

with the thick Chicago accent

1:06:54

who just goes out and looks at plants

1:06:57

in the desert. And I don't know if he's

1:06:59

like somebody trying to protect

1:07:01

these plants or propagate them or what

1:07:03

he does. But like he will just go through

1:07:05

and show you all of the plants and be grumpy about

1:07:08

people on motorbikes in the desert. And it's

1:07:10

delightful. Like he has a ruler

1:07:13

tattooed on his index finger so he can like

1:07:16

measure the plants as he's out there

1:07:18

even. Wow. Yeah,

1:07:21

it's great. And

1:07:23

then finally, an actual Nancy Drew book, they did

1:07:25

a graphic novel. It's I

1:07:28

don't know if they did it as like a series. I know there's a couple

1:07:30

of them, but I don't know if it's still going. But the first one

1:07:32

is called The Palace of Wisdom.

1:07:35

And it's by Kelly Thompson. And then it's the

1:07:38

artist done by Jen St. Onge,

1:07:40

O-N-G-E. And this

1:07:42

one I really like because they modernized a lot

1:07:45

of the Nancy Drew things. So like, George

1:07:47

actually gets to be a lesbian in these and

1:07:50

show her her long term girlfriend

1:07:52

in there. And they use technology

1:07:54

and the Hardy boys are in there. And it's

1:07:57

just it's a very charming update. Nice.

1:07:59

Excellent. A related book

1:08:02

that I haven't read yet. It's pretty new,

1:08:04

but I just read about it. I want to

1:08:06

read it. And it's

1:08:08

called Hey Hun Sales, Sisterhood,

1:08:11

Supremacy and Other Lies Behind Multilevel

1:08:13

Marketing by Emily Lynn Paulson. And

1:08:16

I would like to read that and I would like best to read it.

1:08:21

And this also makes me think there's a Sweet

1:08:23

Valley High book where Jessica

1:08:25

gets involved in a shady MLM. And

1:08:28

I remember this very vividly.

1:08:31

She's selling facial

1:08:33

mud masks and products. And then

1:08:35

they all immediately expire. And if

1:08:37

you read the fine print, it says you're supposed to refrigerate

1:08:40

them. And she's like, but to

1:08:42

buy in, I had to buy too many. It wouldn't fit in the fridge. And

1:08:44

also who refrigerates their facial

1:08:46

products. And then her dad's a liar

1:08:49

and he threatens to sue this MLM

1:08:51

company. And that was satisfying.

1:08:54

And I think that Mr. Wakefield should

1:08:56

like take on more MLMs personally.

1:08:59

Also the first season of the Dream podcast.

1:09:02

I'm sure everyone's listening to it at this point,

1:09:04

but it does go deep into MLMs.

1:09:06

And actually the second season, I believe, goes deep

1:09:09

into supplements. Yes.

1:09:12

So those are both relevant to

1:09:14

this.

1:09:15

Absolutely. If you want more

1:09:17

mystery books, I don't know, man. I don't want to tell you. There's tons

1:09:19

of mysteries. Get them.

1:09:24

The trades, the paperback ones aren't

1:09:26

great. Go write the Nancy Drew files. They're

1:09:28

delightful.

1:09:32

All right. Let's move on. I want to play a quick round of

1:09:35

would you rather, because we haven't done that in a

1:09:37

little while. And these are

1:09:40

kinds of gimmes just because I wanted to talk and

1:09:42

think about them. Would you rather stay

1:09:44

at Solaire or in Boonsboro,

1:09:46

Nora Roberts' bed and breakfast?

1:09:49

Obviously in Boonsboro. Obviously in Boonsboro.

1:09:51

Because obviously no

1:09:54

one was in real

1:09:56

life murdered there and is great. And

1:09:58

I want to play a quick round of would you rather

1:09:59

to go back already. So yes.

1:10:02

Yeah. Well, also,

1:10:05

if I go to Solaire and they're going to tell me what

1:10:07

I need to eat and how I'm supposed to exercise,

1:10:10

I'm that type of person where I never

1:10:13

want to do something so much as when you tell

1:10:15

me not to do it. So I'm

1:10:18

not exercising and I'm eating like

1:10:20

three people's portions while I'm at Solaire, even

1:10:22

if there are no accidents happening. Yes.

1:10:26

And the food at Boonsboro was so good

1:10:28

and

1:10:28

much better than what they

1:10:31

describe the minimal amount of food

1:10:33

they're given at Solaire. In Boonsboro,

1:10:36

Big Pretzel, I think, would serve like

1:10:38

the entire dining room at Solaire.

1:10:41

They would just get like one bite of Big Pretzel.

1:10:43

Yes. Okay. But I do like

1:10:45

the idea of secret chocolate. Like I

1:10:47

will hide candy in my purse so

1:10:49

that I purposefully forget about it because

1:10:52

then when I find it, it's like more

1:10:55

delicious because I didn't expect it.

1:10:57

So maybe there's something to be said for that.

1:10:59

Yeah. I mean, that is the wisdom

1:11:01

of Claudia Kishi. Truth.

1:11:04

All right. How about would you rather have your

1:11:06

personal mystery case solved by Nancy

1:11:08

Drew or Trixie Belden? I do

1:11:11

think I have to go with Nancy here because she does

1:11:13

have a much more.

1:11:16

I mean, I haven't read a ton of the Trixie Belden. So I've just

1:11:18

read that one. But Nancy's is a little bit

1:11:20

more straightforward mystery solving.

1:11:23

She's a smidge older and she does

1:11:25

have resources

1:11:27

of real adults in the world who do

1:11:30

like crime adjacent things.

1:11:33

Yeah. Yeah. She's got her dad and his paralegals.

1:11:36

Yeah. I mean, yes, Nancy

1:11:38

Drew for me as well. But I feel like I

1:11:40

want to be able to have her call Trixie

1:11:42

Belden for any sort of like

1:11:44

horse related crimes. Yes.

1:11:48

Yeah. If my mystery is a horse mystery,

1:11:50

then that does change things. But

1:11:53

I don't have a horse. So

1:11:55

yet. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

1:11:57

Yeah. So yeah, I'm going to Nancy for my mystery. needs.

1:12:01

I do think Trixie would be a better hang though.

1:12:03

Yeah, I would agree with

1:12:05

that. I teach middle school though, so

1:12:07

I don't know if I want to hang out with other

1:12:10

children. Yeah,

1:12:13

I guess in that scenario, I was imagining if I

1:12:15

were Trixie's age, I would rather hang out with

1:12:17

Trixie. Okay, yes, that's fair. I'll give

1:12:19

you that one because I bet Nancy Drew was a total stick in

1:12:21

the mud in middle school. Absolutely. Yes.

1:12:24

A real Theo Boone. Okay,

1:12:28

finally, would you rather,

1:12:31

and we sort of already touched on this, but we just gotta

1:12:33

ask, would you rather eat Solaire's rabbit

1:12:36

food or eat at steaks and cakes, the

1:12:38

fictional restaurant from Christian Mingle, the movie that only serves

1:12:40

entire steaks and cakes? I would obviously

1:12:43

rather support our beloved sponsor

1:12:46

Steaks and Cakes and eat there than

1:12:48

eat the minuscule portions

1:12:50

at Solaire.

1:12:52

Absolutely. I want a cake. Give me a cake.

1:12:55

No cake to be had at Solaire. All

1:12:58

right, good game, good game. And now we'll move on to the

1:13:00

rock paper snick to where Kate will say who

1:13:02

Dwayne the Rock Johnson would be if he were in this book, and

1:13:04

I'll say who Wolverine would be if he

1:13:07

were in this book. And Kristen will choose which

1:13:09

most enhances the book or she can just

1:13:11

choose paper which is to leave the book as

1:13:13

is. If the rock were in this book, he

1:13:16

would be part of the search and rescue team, which

1:13:18

we didn't like super get into this, we talked about

1:13:20

it a little

1:13:20

bit, because we were talking about the flash flood in the desert.

1:13:23

But the search and rescue team showed up so quickly

1:13:25

because they had already been

1:13:28

alerted that there was a lot of heavy rain so

1:13:30

that there was a possibility of flash flooding. And

1:13:33

if the rock were there, he would have been way on

1:13:35

top of this, and he would have known the flash flood was coming

1:13:37

and been able to, you know,

1:13:40

probably fly a helicopter down through

1:13:42

the valley to warn people that

1:13:44

the water was coming. And he would

1:13:47

see Hank creeping off to the side

1:13:49

ready to grab Kim and kidnap

1:13:52

her right before the flood hit,

1:13:53

and would notice that something fishy was

1:13:55

going on and would be

1:13:58

able to intervene and get

1:14:00

Kim and Nancy to safety without

1:14:03

Kim being kidnapped and without

1:14:05

them getting you know trapped in a tree or whatever

1:14:07

before the flood came so Nancy

1:14:10

would be able to talk to Kim about her suspicions

1:14:12

and together they would be able to put together all the

1:14:14

pieces of The

1:14:16

mystery and figure out what Hank was doing

1:14:19

and who the owners of spa.

1:14:21

So layer really were Without

1:14:24

all of the back and forth and breaking into

1:14:26

things If Wolverine

1:14:28

were in this book He would just be sort of like

1:14:30

out for a solo desert sojourn

1:14:32

just you know walking around the desert and thinking

1:14:35

his like sad Manly thoughts and

1:14:37

then he would hear Kim crying for

1:14:39

help and he would you know use

1:14:42

his keen hearing to track

1:14:44

her down and his Sharp

1:14:46

claws to break her out of the basement and

1:14:49

free her and then you know I

1:14:51

don't think he would really get involved beyond that He would

1:14:53

make sure she sort of you know got back to town safely

1:14:55

or whatever and then he would like Return

1:14:58

to his his solo sojourning

1:15:00

as he's prone to doing but

1:15:02

it would get Kim out of the basement sooner And

1:15:05

then the rest of the crew wouldn't have

1:15:07

to also get briefly held down

1:15:09

in the basement by a mentally ill

1:15:11

blind woman And I still you know Nancy

1:15:14

would still have a lot on her plate to figure out

1:15:16

even without the the Kim Kidnapping

1:15:19

of it all so it you know the

1:15:21

the mystery still mostly remains intact

1:15:23

which is slightly less suffering

1:15:27

Okay, I always worry because

1:15:29

I feel like I have a

1:15:30

bias towards Wolverine

1:15:32

And I like the idea that

1:15:35

if he took care of like the whole

1:15:37

Kim situation Then Nancy could dive deeper

1:15:39

into those energy drinks that seem to

1:15:41

be some sort of problematic stimulant

1:15:45

that being said

1:15:46

The rock really addresses the

1:15:49

issue where I felt like I just like blacked

1:15:51

out and didn't understand what was happening in the book

1:15:53

Because it didn't seem to have any continuity So

1:15:56

I think I have to go with the rock

1:15:58

in this case

1:16:00

Yeah, I mean, look, the rock, I

1:16:02

mean, he was he was an excellent

1:16:05

lifeguard in Baywatch. So I think

1:16:07

he is ready to be a search and rescue.

1:16:09

Also, those are adjacent skills. I buy

1:16:11

this no question. Good

1:16:15

game, good game. And now it's time for Dorothy's

1:16:17

Corner or my cat, Dora Dae, shares his opinions.

1:16:23

Yeah, like they're just there

1:16:26

simply wasn't any cat content

1:16:28

in this book. There

1:16:30

were coyotes, which

1:16:32

was a sort of fun little red

1:16:34

herring, I guess.

1:16:36

And a mean guard dog? And a mean

1:16:38

guard dog. Yeah. Yeah. A German Shepherd.

1:16:41

We skipped him. But, you know, I

1:16:44

think it's too hot in the desert

1:16:46

for a cat to really have much to

1:16:48

do. And then there wouldn't be any good

1:16:50

food for the cat. So as much

1:16:53

as I as much as I love to read by cats,

1:16:55

and I know you love that representation, I think

1:16:57

maybe it is actually for the best that there weren't any

1:16:59

cats at Solaire.

1:17:01

Yeah, I did like the idea of a cat spa,

1:17:04

though that I think could go places.

1:17:06

Yeah, for sure. And

1:17:09

both like the cats could get their little treatments,

1:17:11

but then it could also be kind of like a goat yoga

1:17:14

where like humans go and get their treatments

1:17:16

and then the cats can like hang out

1:17:18

with that. Oh, God, I would I would go to that.

1:17:21

OK, you and I went different places because

1:17:24

I imagine getting a pedicure from a cat

1:17:26

and somehow that was appealing to me. That

1:17:28

I mean,

1:17:30

I mean, I would respect the entrepreneurship

1:17:32

and the craft of a cat giving a pedicure with

1:17:35

his. I guess you'd have to hold the bottle

1:17:37

in his mouth. Probably. I would support

1:17:39

it. Anyway, Georgia, thank

1:17:41

you for that. And don't worry, we will not put you to work

1:17:43

in a spa because it will interfere with your

1:17:45

your podcast job. Yes. OK.

1:17:48

Do any humans have any closing thoughts

1:17:50

about this book? Not

1:17:53

really. Or Nancy Nancy

1:17:55

Droulard, I guess.

1:17:57

I mean, I have so many thoughts about Nancy Droulard,

1:17:59

but. I'm gonna spare you about

1:18:01

this book though. I feel like if it

1:18:03

had like 20 more pages,

1:18:06

it could have really explored

1:18:08

some interesting things. Like, I

1:18:10

don't know, it was kind of meh

1:18:13

overall, but I feel

1:18:15

like it could have been better if it was just a little

1:18:17

bit longer.

1:18:18

Yeah, and maybe if

1:18:21

there had been some sort of sensitivity

1:18:24

edits regarding disability

1:18:26

in particular, but it

1:18:28

was 1993 and no one was doing that shit. Are you

1:18:30

kidding? Yeah,

1:18:32

this book for as much as it like did

1:18:35

live in my head rent free due to

1:18:37

exposure to it at the correct time. I don't really

1:18:40

like it. It's not a good book. And I don't

1:18:42

really understand the enduring appeal

1:18:45

of

1:18:48

Nancy Drew and I'm so sorry. And,

1:18:51

but you

1:18:52

know what, again, this is a me problem. I don't like

1:18:54

mysteries. I

1:18:56

don't like them in

1:18:57

love. You know, I think what

1:19:00

it is actually is that I only like the

1:19:02

lowest of stakes of mystery

1:19:04

is like when it's really just sort of like gossip.

1:19:07

I like gossip. I don't like a mystery,

1:19:10

you know?

1:19:11

But again, I understand

1:19:13

abstractly that many, many people

1:19:15

do like a mystery. So fortunately

1:19:18

there's plenty of them.

1:19:19

It's true. All right.

1:19:23

If you wanna come find us on social media

1:19:26

and I don't know, share your interpretation

1:19:28

of what a cat spa would be. You

1:19:31

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1:19:33

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1:19:36

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1:19:38

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1:19:41

S because the S did get

1:19:43

swept away in a flash flood

1:19:46

and we've been looking for it, but

1:19:48

I don't know.

1:19:49

Don't know if we're gonna find it. You can find us on

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1:21:07

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1:21:09

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1:21:11

about Nancy Drew or Riverdale or

1:21:13

whatever you're watching on

1:21:16

television or the latest episodes or pictures

1:21:18

of your cats.

1:21:19

Please, we could always use more cat pictures especially.

1:21:23

Finally, if you want to come talk to just

1:21:26

me, I'm on Twitter

1:21:29

still. I did get on Blue Sky. I'm

1:21:31

on like all of the fake social medias now

1:21:33

at Renata snacks.

1:21:35

I don't know why I said fake. I'm on all the social

1:21:37

medias at Renata snacks. I am at 14

1:21:39

across. And

1:21:41

Kristin, where can people find you?

1:21:45

I'm on YouTube and Instagram

1:21:47

primarily as Kristin

1:21:50

Sleuth. Kristin spelled with two

1:21:52

I's.

1:21:53

Excellent. And perhaps in

1:21:55

the future, we will have you back to read one of these

1:21:57

pulpy Nancy Drew files.

1:21:59

books that I

1:22:02

do not believe I read as a kid and you sound

1:22:05

like they're full of all

1:22:07

sorts of teen

1:22:09

longing and gossip.

1:22:11

Please let me be the person to introduce those to you. Yeah,

1:22:15

I feel like I could get into that. It

1:22:17

sounds slightly more adjacent to my interests

1:22:19

actually than this one, even though I picked this one.

1:22:23

And here we are. Kristen, thank you

1:22:26

so much for joining us and sharing your Nancy

1:22:28

expertise. Yes.

1:22:31

Thank you so much for having me. I was thrilled

1:22:33

to be able to talk about this. Yes, and we

1:22:35

are excited to talk about it with you.

1:22:38

And as Kristen said, because I know

1:22:40

we spent more time just being like French

1:22:42

people are weird than actually like digging

1:22:44

into the Nancy Drew of it all. And so

1:22:46

if you do crave more Nancy Drew content, Kristen

1:22:49

will provide it for you at the places she just said, and

1:22:51

we'll have those linked on our website. So

1:22:54

we'll have on probably the

1:22:56

I don't know, we'll link on this episode page

1:22:58

or whatever. We did do a fun Nancy

1:23:00

Drew mystery in a box with Kristen

1:23:03

that we will post pictures of somewhere.

1:23:06

We did do that.

1:23:08

Yes. And we solved it. We did.

1:23:11

Cha-ching. That's not the sound you make when you solve a mystery. I

1:23:13

don't know. That's how they listen. This

1:23:15

is not what sound do you make when you solve a mystery

1:23:18

actually?

1:23:20

Jacques? Perfect.

1:23:26

Okay, we did that. Anyway,

1:23:28

thank you, Kristen. Thank you

1:23:30

everyone for listening. And we'll

1:23:33

be back in two weeks. We're having an extra

1:23:35

long flashback summer this year because

1:23:37

we deserve it. And so we'll be back

1:23:40

in two weeks with another flashback episode

1:23:42

this time talking about Anne of Green Gables

1:23:44

by Lucy Maud Montgomery, taking

1:23:46

it flashing way back. And I'm

1:23:48

thrilled.

1:23:50

What a good choice. Yes.

1:23:53

All right. Until then, bye. Bye.

1:24:14

Bonjour, this is Julien, the Frenchman

1:24:16

who makes French pronunciation videos here on YouTube

1:24:19

and we are looking at how to pronounce

1:24:21

this French male name, given

1:24:23

name, a boy's name that is

1:24:25

fairly common in France, even

1:24:28

though it's more for older generations now.

1:24:31

But how do you say it? Alain, a-lan,

1:24:35

a-lan is how it's said in France,

1:24:38

a-lan, and now you know.