Podchaser Logo
Home
815: How I Learned to Shave

815: How I Learned to Shave

Released Sunday, 19th November 2023
 3 people rated this episode
815: How I Learned to Shave

815: How I Learned to Shave

815: How I Learned to Shave

815: How I Learned to Shave

Sunday, 19th November 2023
 3 people rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

0:00

Here's a Thanksgiving fact. During November,

0:02

more people treat themselves to turkey, pumpkin

0:04

pie, and… Sotva luxury

0:06

mattresses. That's right, more people

0:08

purchase Sotvas during November than any

0:11

other month. Maybe it's because of their amazing

0:13

Black Friday sale, which just began. Or

0:15

maybe as the holidays approach, more people

0:17

decide they deserve the gift of a great night's

0:20

sleep. Whatever your reason, head

0:22

to Sotva.com slash NYT, where you'll

0:25

find the best-priced luxury mattresses in

0:27

America. That's S-double-A-T-V-A. It's

0:29

the one treat you'll savor long after

0:32

the holidays. I

1:01

remember every part of his instructions. That

1:04

I had to wet my face down with hot water to

1:06

soften the barely-existent facial hair. Which,

1:09

you know, were not the kind of man's whiskers that needed

1:12

softening, so I wondered if he knew what he was talking about. He

1:15

showed me how to hold the razor, the length of the

1:17

strokes. When it came time

1:19

to demonstrate the actual shaving, he realized

1:22

he couldn't actually do it from the front. He

1:24

needed to stand behind me and then

1:26

reach up to my face at the same

1:28

angle that he was used to shaving his own face with. So

1:31

he got in back of me and sort of reached

1:33

his arms up around me, close and

1:35

intimate, while he did that. Which

1:38

was unusual. He was a conscientious

1:40

dad. A worried dad. A

1:42

caring dad. But we never

1:44

had much physical contact.

1:50

What stands out most about this memory is

1:52

how few I have that are like it. Of

1:55

him actually teaching me something. Taking

1:58

the time to impart some kind of lesson about the world.

1:59

world. To get this

2:02

kind of focused attention from him was rare.

2:05

He grew up without a dad. He

2:08

hated his best, but he didn't have much

2:10

feeling for what his son might want, or

2:12

might get, from a father. Délè,

2:16

his mind didn't seem to be on me or my sister's at all,

2:19

but on his job. He was an accountant,

2:23

stressed out, working long hours at the firm

2:25

he started. Years

2:27

ago, I was invited to contribute a short chapter

2:29

to a book about what men learned from their dads, and

2:31

I wrote something saying that this

2:33

shaving memory is one of the few that I have of

2:35

him passing on some kind of knowledge or wisdom.

2:39

I showed him the draft, worried that

2:41

he would be hurt, that I would think that, whether

2:44

I would say it publicly. But

2:46

his biggest problem with what I wrote was

2:49

that I called him an accountant.

2:51

He was a CPA, he told me. Very

2:53

different. Could I change it? Of

2:56

course I did.

2:59

He died a few weeks ago, at 90,

3:01

with dementia. It's

3:04

weird watching somebody with your same body,

3:07

your same world fat around their stomach,

3:10

same hands, same fingers, same

3:12

skin, go gray,

3:14

and stop breathing.

3:17

Right. That's me, I thought, soon

3:20

enough.

3:22

And I've been thinking a lot about the parts of him that

3:24

I carry in me. My

3:26

dad wasn't very curious about others. If

3:29

he met you, he wouldn't ask you lots of questions to figure

3:32

out who you are or how you tick. Wasn't

3:34

the most talkative. If anything,

3:36

some of the moves that I developed as an interviewer come

3:39

directly from being in the car with him and trying to actually

3:41

get him to speak about something, anything,

3:45

which I guess happens a lot. Kids

3:47

develop personalities to fit into the jigsaw pieces

3:50

of where their parents aren't. I

3:53

honestly see his good traits in me and all of his bad

3:56

ones too, all the time.

3:58

Biggest of those?

4:01

Some deep part of me that

4:04

feels so much more comfortable when I'm alone than

4:07

when I'm around other people. Sometimes

4:09

all I want to be is alone

4:11

and just

4:12

not deal. That

4:15

kind of thing isolated my dad from people who

4:17

cared about him, from love and

4:19

experiences that he could have had. And

4:22

sent that to me as well at times. When

4:26

was the day he taught me that? I

4:28

think most of what we learned from our parents, they never

4:30

intended for us to learn. This

4:32

stuff just shows up inside of us, like a virus.

4:36

One that they never meant to transmit and we

4:38

didn't mean to catch. Then

4:40

we look up later and

4:43

they're in us

4:44

while we watch them. Or morphine. Struggling

4:47

with their breathing.

4:49

And after they're gone as well. Today

4:53

on our show, we have stories where kids grapple

4:55

with their dad's legacies. Stuff

4:58

about them, consciously and unconsciously, good

5:00

and bad, that they left behind. Okay,

5:04

for this next line, I have another recording of my

5:06

dad.

5:07

From WBEZ Chicago, it's

5:09

This American Life. Dad, you are

5:11

such a pro. That

5:23

one?

5:25

Am I my father's trapper

5:27

keeper? Before

5:30

we get to the father in this story, let me play you this ad. It's

5:32

from the 80s. Two teenagers in

5:34

the crowded library, they stand up and

5:37

oops, bump into each other. Bloopers

5:39

fall over the ground. That's

5:43

good acting. Then this realistic

5:45

piece of dialogue. Here you are.

5:48

Say, what is that thing? It's my trapper for me. It

5:50

sure is a lot neater than this. Here's

5:52

an ad for a trapper keeper notebook.

5:55

One of the main selling points, keeps all your papers

5:57

trapped. Get it? So they don't

5:59

fall back.

5:59

And I've got a trapper folder for

6:02

each subject. That's pretty neat. And the trapper

6:04

keeper holds all my trappers. This flap

6:06

even has a velcro closure to keep everything inside.

6:09

Boy, I've got to get a trapper and get my act together. If you

6:11

do, I'll let you carry my books. Now,

6:14

that sign kind of gets to me. What is wrong with me?

6:17

Ads like this are the kind of thing that either evoke

6:19

nostalgia or complete bafflement.

6:22

But if you're around in the 80s, you knew the

6:24

trapper keeper. The velcro

6:26

sound, when you open it, the pictures on the covers,

6:29

the rings of the binder, they sort of smoothly

6:31

slid open and shut instead of snapping so you

6:33

wouldn't catch your fingers. According to a press

6:35

release from the time,

6:36

half

6:37

of all middle school and high school students had

6:40

a trapper keeper in 1989. I don't

6:43

know if I believe that, but there are a lot of them around. Anyway,

6:46

when the inventor of the trapper keeper died last year, it got

6:49

a lot of attention.

6:50

E. Bryant Crutchfield, the inventor

6:52

of the trapper keeper, has died. If

6:55

you were in school during the 1980s or 90s,

6:57

I'd be willing to bet good money you carried

7:00

around the cultural phenomenon of a

7:02

binder created by a man

7:04

named E. Bryant Crutchfield. NPR,

7:06

The Zayshow, The Washington Post, The New York Times,

7:09

the All-Round Stories. And

7:11

then we got this email.

7:13

This is from a woman who was very surprised by this obituary

7:16

because as far as she knew, the inventor

7:18

of the trapper keeper was very much

7:20

alive. And he

7:22

was her father. She said her dad had

7:24

invented it, not the guy in the obit, and

7:27

she was not happy about it. Obviously,

7:30

this is not the kind of tip that a self-respecting radio

7:32

producer can just let go. Thea Benin,

7:34

here on her program, tried to figure out

7:36

what was going on. The

7:38

dad in the email, his name is John

7:40

Wyant, lives in South Carolina.

7:42

He's 83 years old, and I can

7:45

definitely confirm he's alive. How

7:47

do I know? I talked to him. He

7:50

saw the obit when he was looking at his computer

7:52

one day, and there on the screen was his old

7:54

colleague, E. Bryant Crutchfield.

7:57

After I read it, I told my wife, I said, oh,

7:59

poor boy.

7:59

Brian, he's gone. But I

8:02

just looked at it and thought, well, I know

8:04

the truth.

8:06

What could I do? I

8:08

was not about to sit down

8:10

and write a rebuttal and send

8:12

it to the New York Times. How come?

8:16

Well, just not me.

8:18

The sense I get from talking to John is

8:20

that he's someone who tucks his feelings away,

8:22

sealed tightly, maybe with Velcro.

8:25

Well,

8:26

that is not true of the rest of his family. His

8:29

daughter, Jackie, the one who wrote us, here's

8:32

how she remembers Obit Day.

8:34

I was sitting in my kitchen and

8:37

my phone rings and my mom calls me

8:40

and she just said, you're not going to believe

8:42

this. You're not going to believe this. It was

8:44

Obit. She's like, and it's everywhere.

8:47

And I'm like, wait a minute. I start this

8:49

Google Trapper Keeper inventor and

8:52

I started looking at all of the results. And

8:54

it was like, all these, all

8:58

these publications, you know, all

9:00

these online people, like bloggers.

9:02

And I just was like, and I didn't

9:04

tell her. I go, you know, OK, I

9:06

see. Yeah, it's out there in

9:08

the universe somewhere. And

9:11

she's like, this is terrible. This is

9:13

terrible. She was on fire. Jackie

9:16

told me John may be too polite

9:18

to say it, but creating the Trapper Keeper

9:20

has been a big part of his identity, his

9:23

legacy.

9:24

A few months before he talked to us, he

9:26

was at his golf club.

9:27

I was talking to a couple and

9:30

I just happened to have a Meade

9:33

jacket on, said Meade on it. And

9:37

this woman looked over and says, did you work

9:39

for Meade?

9:40

And I said,

9:42

yes, I did. Yeah, 36 years.

9:44

And she said, Meade,

9:47

the Trapper Keeper. I

9:49

said, well, it's interesting that you bring that

9:51

up. I

9:53

said I was very involved in putting

9:56

that little turkey together. And

9:59

she said, oh, my.

9:59

Oh, gee, that

10:02

was the neatest school

10:04

supply. I said,

10:06

I'm Trapper John. Trapper

10:10

John.

10:11

That's actually what some of his friends call him.

10:13

Here's how John says the Trapper Keeper came to

10:15

be.

10:16

Back in the 70s, John was working

10:18

as director of new product development at

10:21

Mead. He was the person whose

10:23

job was to build new stuff the company could sell.

10:26

And he says, Crutchfield, the guy in the Obets,

10:28

who worked in marketing, came to him one

10:30

day and asked him to make a binder that could

10:33

hold these folders that

10:33

had vertical pockets.

10:36

John says there wasn't much more guidance than that.

10:39

And so over a few weeks, he put

10:41

together the pieces that would become the Trapper

10:43

Keeper. John says he designed the shape

10:45

of the binder, the shape of the folders, the

10:47

flap closure, the logo, and

10:49

even the plastic clipboard in the back with the spot

10:52

for the pencil. That was something

10:54

he invented earlier with another guy.

10:57

It was a full three-dimensional

10:59

prototype designed, created

11:03

with colors, named the whole

11:06

works. I can remember sitting at

11:08

my desk with a tracing

11:10

pad and tracing out of a typography

11:13

book the logo. And it's

11:15

still the same logo that's

11:18

on the product today. It

11:20

was the exact Trapper Keeper. Here it is.

11:23

John says the whole idea that it would trap

11:25

papers so they don't fall out, like the

11:27

main cell of that commercial. This flap

11:29

even has a Velcro closure to keep everything inside.

11:32

John says that was him too. He

11:34

created the flap closure so nothing

11:36

would fall out. He even came up with the

11:38

name Trapper

11:39

Keeper. Some of the obituaries

11:41

actually give John credit for this. In

11:43

The New York Times, they say over a martini-fueled

11:45

lunch, John suggested the name to Bryant.

11:48

It even quotes Bryant saying, bang,

11:50

it made sense.

11:53

That's the only mention John gets. He

11:55

and his family, they're pretty sure Crutchfield deliberately

11:57

cut him out of the

11:58

story. Grabbed all the Crutchfield. for himself.

12:08

I'm learning all of this. I felt for John.

12:11

Maybe anybody would, but I really

12:13

did. Like, couldn't let it go did.

12:16

I feel a little silly saying this, but

12:18

I identify with John. I'm also

12:21

a behind the scenes

12:21

kind of person. I hardly ever

12:23

talk on the radio. I'm an editor here.

12:26

I love helping make things happen in the background.

12:29

So I saw myself in him. In

12:32

fact, another producer

12:33

started the story, Diane Wu, who

12:35

you hear in some of the interviews. She

12:37

lost interest in it, but I

12:40

wouldn't let it go.

12:41

It felt like if I could get his hard work noticed,

12:44

the world in some tiny little way would feel more

12:46

fair. So

12:53

did some marketing guy do a marketing job

12:56

on his own legacy? Like, convince

12:58

the national press to tell the story he wanted told.

13:02

Obviously, the person who would have answers was Crutchfield

13:04

himself. But since

13:07

that wasn't an option, I found his kids,

13:10

Ken and Carol. I'd

13:12

seen Ken posting about how proud he was of his

13:14

dad's accomplishments. I didn't relish

13:16

the idea of calling these people whose dad had just

13:18

died to say, you know, there's this other

13:21

guy who says he invented the Trapper Keeper, and

13:24

your dad took all the credit for himself. But

13:27

they were open to talking about it. Yeah,

13:29

that sounds like my dad taught me he would do. This

13:32

is Carol, Crutchfield's daughter. I told

13:35

her and her brother what John said, that

13:37

her dad had been a big part of the Trapper Keeper's success,

13:40

did great marketing for it, but that John

13:43

was the one who actually built the thing.

13:44

Yeah,

13:45

that makes sense

13:46

that there were more than one person

13:48

involved in creating a Trapper

13:50

Keeper.

13:52

He took

13:55

all the credit. It

13:57

feels kind of yucky because...

14:01

I feel bad for

14:02

them because I didn't

14:04

know about him, but yeah, yeah,

14:07

it's uncomfortable.

14:15

Would it be out of character for your dad

14:17

to play up his role in something? He's

14:20

always been a talker, you

14:22

know, and he is always somebody who,

14:25

you know, thinks, you know, to talk

14:27

about himself. That's

14:30

one of his favorite subjects.

14:32

Here's what I learned about E. Bryant Crutchfield,

14:34

or Crutch as his friends called him, from

14:37

talking to his kids. Crutch

14:39

was a memorable guy, could be a

14:41

challenging guy, fun living, very

14:44

proud of his kids, big emphasis

14:46

on providing for his family, maybe

14:48

some imposter syndrome, a big

14:50

advice giver, a lover of drink,

14:53

the martinis in the story made sense. And

14:56

Ken says that for most of his life, the

14:58

Trapper Keeper wasn't the thing he talked about

15:00

a lot. Ken wasn't even aware

15:02

of his dad's relationship with the Binder until about

15:04

a decade ago, when a reporter for the

15:06

website Mental Floss wrote a long story

15:09

about the invention of the Trapper Keeper and the piece

15:11

was all about his dad. Ken's

15:13

friends started sending him the article.

15:15

You know, I got a bit of a chuckle out of

15:17

it, but I didn't really think much more of

15:20

it than that because, you know, I think my dad

15:22

has always been somebody to have

15:25

certain narratives and things that he would talk about.

15:27

So I managed to talk about Harvard

15:29

in that article. You know, if he was talking

15:31

to a perfect stranger, you know, there's a couple

15:34

of topics that would come up and one of them was

15:36

he would find a way to work into the conversation,

15:38

something about Harvard. What did he do at Harvard?

15:41

It was basically like a semester of an

15:43

MBA program. So I

15:45

think that was a proud thing for him,

15:48

especially having grown up in Alabama

15:50

and somebody that was the first to go

15:53

to college, really, I think in his family.

15:55

The Mental Floss story and the Obits explain

15:58

Crutch's role in creating

15:59

the Trapper Keeper.

15:59

that Crutch

16:02

was the one who spotted a need for something

16:04

like the Trapper Keeper. The copy

16:07

machine had made its way into schools, kids

16:09

had lots of papers, they needed a way to keep

16:11

them in place, and Crutch had also

16:13

learned that there was a different kind of folder that

16:15

he thought would sell well. It had vertical

16:18

pockets. He put those things

16:20

together and sold it to the world, which

16:23

with this kind of product is everything.

16:26

As Ken puts it, the imagery,

16:28

the pop culture, the finding

16:31

the trends, being able to reach

16:33

the audience, you know, what frankly

16:36

is kind of a complex sale, how

16:38

many kids were able to buy their own product,

16:40

who had disposable income to

16:42

buy it versus had to influence their

16:45

parents to get the binder

16:47

that they wanted.

16:49

Talking to Ken, reading Neobits, I

16:51

do think Crutch played a really significant role

16:54

in the creation of the Trapper Keeper. I

16:56

found this case study all about Crutch's approach to

16:58

the project. I talked to a former boss.

17:01

It really seems like the Trapper

17:02

Keeper wouldn't have happened without him. I think

17:05

he does deserve credit.

17:07

Does that build a bit? That

17:14

Mental Test article seemed like it was

17:16

the inspiration for all those obituaries

17:18

when Crutch died, both the New York Times

17:21

and the Washington Post Obits link to it. And

17:24

Carol says the Mental Test article stirred things

17:26

up for her dad back when he was still alive.

17:29

He was in his 70s when that reporter called him up.

17:32

Before that, Carol agreed with her brother.

17:34

The Trapper Keeper wasn't a big topic

17:36

for him. In the last like probably

17:39

five years of his life, it was very much

17:42

would turn everything around to try to

17:44

show that he had a legacy. Mmm. He

17:46

would stop people in the restaurant,

17:48

say, I invented the Trapper Keeper. Oh really?

17:51

Yeah, and I would find him over here talking

17:53

to somebody asking them what they're eating. And

17:55

I'd have to go get him, you

17:57

know, and say, leave these people

17:59

alone.

17:59

eating. Oh, but they want to hear about the Trapper Keeper.

18:03

Really? Yeah. And I think that that

18:06

came about after that whole mental floss

18:09

interview. And

18:11

that got him thinking, Oh, I do

18:13

have a legacy. And,

18:16

and then he's just kind of went

18:20

with that

18:21

and focused on it. And look how good looking I used

18:23

to be. And look,

18:24

you know, I did this. So, all

18:27

ego. I'm sure

18:30

my mother would love to hear that from me. Carol

18:33

wanted to make it clear that she loved her dad. He

18:36

was warm. Very funny. Her

18:38

friends loved him. She didn't think

18:40

he was trying to be mean or steal anything. He

18:43

was just the star of his own show. Like

18:45

if my dad was here right now and I asked him

18:48

about John, he would say, Oh yeah,

18:50

John did this and John did that and John did this. You

18:52

know, like he wouldn't,

18:54

I don't think he would lie about it,

18:56

you know, like purposefully because my dad

18:58

wasn't like that. I

19:01

think

19:02

his brain just kind of twisted

19:05

facts to meet his own neat,

19:09

you know, ego needs there

19:12

towards the end. I was

19:15

struck by how honest and thoughtful both kids

19:17

were

19:17

about their dad. And after

19:20

talking to both of them, I got back in touch with John

19:22

and Jackie, relayed what the Crutchfield

19:24

kids had said. And they told

19:26

me it made them feel better. Turns

19:28

out Crutchfield's son wants to write a book about

19:30

the Trapper Keeper and really

19:33

wants to talk to John.

19:35

I sent them each other's emails.

19:38

It's funny. As I worked on this story,

19:40

I realized the reason I love the Trapper

19:42

Keeper actually has nothing to do with John

19:44

or Crutch.

19:46

It was a cover art. Those

19:47

rainbows and Lisa Frank images and puppies

19:50

and palm trees. I'm pretty sure

19:52

mine had an outer space scene with geometric

19:54

shapes.

19:55

I tried to find out who the artist was who deserves

19:58

credit for that, but I haven't had a

19:59

And then you luck.

20:01

If that happens to be your dad or mom,

20:04

parent,

20:05

please write me.

20:15

Thea Bennon hates being on the radio.

20:18

Now anyway, we're working on her. She's

20:20

an editor here at our show.

20:24

Coming up, explaining the sex

20:26

robots of the future to your great grandkids.

20:29

And other legacy issues we have yet to face, but

20:32

will someday. That's in a minute

20:34

from Chicago Public Radio.

20:36

When our program continues.

20:38

Support for this American life comes from BetterHelp

20:41

Online Therapy.

20:43

The winter season

20:44

can be a lot. Therapy can

20:46

be a bright spot amid the holiday stress,

20:49

the seasonal depression,

20:50

or whatever you might be experiencing. It's

20:52

something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded

20:55

and give you the tools to manage everything

20:57

going on. Find your bright spot

20:59

this season with BetterHelp. Visit

21:02

betterhelp.com slash T-A-L

21:04

today to get 10% off your first

21:07

month. That's betterhelp.com

21:09

slash T-A-L.

21:11

AI may be the most important new computer

21:13

technology ever,

21:15

but AI needs a lot of processing speed,

21:18

and that gets expensive fast. Upgrade

21:20

to the next generation of the cloud, Oracle

21:23

Cloud Infrastructure, or OCI.

21:26

OCI is the single platform for your

21:28

infrastructure, database, application

21:30

development, and AI needs. Do

21:33

more and spend less like Uber, 8x8,

21:36

and Databricks Mosaic. Take a free

21:38

test drive of OCI at oracle.com

21:41

slash NYT, oracle.com

21:43

slash NYT.

21:46

This is American Life from Hourglass. Today's program,

21:49

how I learned to shave, stories of our

21:51

parents' legacies, and what we learned from our

21:53

dads, whether it's intended or not,

21:55

we've arrived at Act Two of our show, Act Two,

21:58

Raised by Wolf.

22:00

So now turn to this father and son who

22:02

go hunting together, have all kinds of adventures, and

22:05

then things get complicated.

22:08

Both of them were raised by wolves.

22:10

Because they are wolves.

22:11

Here's Lily Sullivan. Rick McIntyre

22:14

has spent more time watching wild wolves

22:17

than anyone in the world. He's

22:18

been doing it for over 40 years.

22:21

His focus on them is singular and complete.

22:24

He lives alone

22:25

in a little cabin just outside of Yellowstone. And

22:28

every day,

22:29

seven days a week,

22:31

he gets up before dawn,

22:32

figures out where they are,

22:34

watches them,

22:35

writes down what they do. It's

22:37

now over 13,000 pages of field

22:40

notes,

22:41

single spaced. And he's turned

22:43

those notes into books.

22:45

Reading them, it's like you're out there

22:47

with him, seeing what he sees.

22:50

And you just

22:52

watch the wolves.

22:54

Lots of scientific papers have been based on his

22:56

observations. Before

22:59

Rick and others started doing this work, we

23:01

really didn't know much about wolves. Well,

23:05

except for one thing.

23:06

That we didn't want them around. Even

23:09

in Yellowstone. The early Rangers

23:11

back in the 1920s, like pretty

23:13

much everyone else in America

23:16

at that time felt that wolves were

23:18

no good and that they should all

23:21

be killed off. And

23:23

those early Rangers did that job in a

23:25

very thorough manner.

23:27

US Park Rangers killed off the last of the

23:29

wolves in Yellowstone. Then,

23:32

in the 1990s, we realized

23:34

that was a big mistake.

23:35

So we decided to reintroduce

23:37

them by capturing

23:38

three families of wild wolves from Canada

23:41

and bringing them back to try to get

23:43

them to settle in and repopulate the park.

23:46

They put tracking collars on them so they could find

23:48

them and watch them. Which

23:49

meant we could really learn what these animals were like.

23:52

Like in a way that hadn't been possible for most of history.

23:56

That's what Rick's job was.

23:58

And of all the things he observed,

24:00

This is the story that got to him

24:02

most, of two wolves,

24:04

a father and a son.

24:07

We're going to start with the father, who was one of the

24:09

first wolves to be reintroduced to Yellowstone.

24:13

As Rick puts it in his book,

24:14

if Shakespeare were telling the story,

24:16

he'd start deep in a forest,

24:18

deep in a wolf's den.

24:20

Three pups come running out of the den, all

24:22

robust and strong like their father. And

24:25

then a fourth pup tumbles out after them, like

24:27

an afterthought. A scrawny gray

24:29

pup. The pup who seemed least likely

24:31

to amount to anything.

24:33

He was the runt of his litter.

24:36

His three brothers were all

24:38

bigger and stronger than him.

24:42

And he looked different from everyone else

24:44

in his family. He had a very

24:47

dull, drab, gray

24:49

coat. His mother had

24:52

a beautiful whitish coat, his

24:54

father was jet black, and all

24:56

of his brothers looked exactly like the father

24:59

wolf. They also had black coats. So

25:01

he really stood out, but stood out in a really

25:03

bad way. His

25:06

brothers constantly picked on him. He

25:08

ate last, they would chase him around the pen,

25:11

they would pin him and beat

25:13

him up. And it was really a tough

25:15

time for him.

25:17

They named the pup Wolf 8.

25:19

Because the collars they gave the wolves,

25:22

each one had a number. And his was

25:24

number 8.

25:25

And that became his name.

25:27

These pups were all new to the park.

25:29

Rick was kind of new to his job too. This

25:32

was the first time he'd ever gotten to watch wolves so closely.

25:35

Rick felt for 8 immediately. Started

25:37

calling him the little guy.

25:39

Worried about him. But then one

25:41

day, he

25:42

was watching 8 out playing with his brothers.

25:44

And they were just fooling around chasing

25:46

each other. And suddenly they

25:48

stopped and they stared into

25:50

a pretty thick forest. And

25:53

then they suddenly just ran at

25:55

full speed into those trees.

25:59

Then

26:00

they came darting back out, the three bigger

26:03

pups

26:03

in the lead. And then last in line,

26:05

as usual, because he was the slowest, was

26:07

eight.

26:08

One of the big pups was carrying a dead elk

26:10

calf.

26:12

At first, Rick was impressed that such

26:14

young pups had taken down an elk.

26:15

But it turned out that they had not killed

26:17

that elk because just

26:20

behind eight, as he ran out of the

26:22

trees, was a huge grizzly

26:24

bear. And it was really

26:26

the bear's elk calf.

26:30

The bear was gaining on

26:32

little eight. He was getting closer

26:34

and closer. He was looking back over his shoulder.

26:37

And it looked like at any moment the bear would pounce

26:40

on eight. Eight

26:42

was maybe 60, 70 pounds at that time.

26:44

The bear was maybe 400 pounds. But

26:48

then little eight just

26:50

stopped,

26:51

turned around,

26:53

and confronted that huge grizzly. And

26:56

somehow it worked. The

26:59

bear stopped. It looked at

27:01

this little thing that was standing up to him

27:03

like he didn't understand. And

27:07

as the bear was confused, he

27:09

had lost sight of eight's brother who had

27:11

the elk calf. So now the

27:13

bear literally didn't

27:15

know what to do. It basically just

27:18

shrugged his shoulders, turned around, and walked

27:20

off the other way. But

27:23

that made me realize that there was really a

27:25

lot more to this wolf than

27:28

any of us had ever realized.

27:31

His bigger, beautiful brothers didn't

27:33

see this act of heroism. No

27:35

one showed the elk with him. And

27:37

they kept picking on him.

27:39

As the months passed, eight started

27:42

spending more and more time alone to get away from them,

27:44

just kind of wandering the forest. Like

27:46

a high schooler might do, to get away from

27:48

your family.

27:50

And again,

27:51

Rick felt for him. Small

27:53

like that, out there all by himself. With

27:56

a family that didn't get him.

27:58

Then one day, wolf ate with him.

27:59

It was out, wandering alone as usual. When

28:02

he ran into these wolf pups,

28:05

their mother was in a rough spot.

28:07

She'd had a litter of eight pups, and

28:09

she was all on her own. Because the same day

28:11

she gave birth to her pups, her mate was

28:13

illegally shot and killed. And

28:16

the thing is, it's really hard to raise

28:18

wolf pups alone. In

28:20

order to produce milk to feed them, she

28:23

needed to

28:23

hunt and eat. But

28:25

that would mean leaving them alone.

28:27

And newborn pups can't regulate their

28:29

body temperature

28:30

on their own. So, starve

28:32

or freeze. She

28:35

and her pups were screwed.

28:37

The wolf project staff was so worried, they

28:39

even captured the family for a bit,

28:41

so they could feed them.

28:43

But then, wolf eight came

28:45

along. The little guy, just

28:48

a yearling, just out by himself. He

28:51

saw these pups, and he started playing

28:53

with them.

28:54

And the mother

28:56

wolf was watching that from a distance.

28:59

And she was desperate. She needed

29:01

whatever help she could get. And

29:04

he'd already made friends with all of her

29:06

sons and daughters. So,

29:08

a moment later, she

29:10

ran to him. They greeted

29:12

each other, they played a bit. Eight

29:15

liked this family.

29:16

Over the next days, he started hunting

29:19

for them, bringing them back little snacks.

29:22

Little tangent I learned from the books. A

29:25

wolf often feeds pups by regurgitating the

29:27

meat it's hunted. A wolf can carry

29:29

up to 20 pounds of meat in its belly, which

29:31

is easier than carrying that much in its jaws over

29:34

a long distance. And

29:36

once back at the den, the pups then

29:38

trigger regurgitation by licking its face.

29:41

That's why your dog licks your face.

29:43

He's trying to get you to puke. Good,

29:46

right? So, wolf

29:48

eight's going out hunting and bring back

29:50

these little snacks, as I said, off

29:52

to these little pups.

29:54

That was the first time they'd ever documented

29:56

something like that.

29:57

A male wolf, caring for another

29:59

pack of meat.

29:59

pups who

30:01

he wasn't related to.

30:02

And he

30:04

was invited into the family, meaning

30:07

now he went

30:09

from being a picked-on, bullied, undersized

30:13

wolf to being a big-shot alpha

30:15

male. Perhaps her first impression

30:18

of seeing this undersized yearling wasn't

30:21

that he was the best candidate, but

30:25

he had shown up. He was there.

30:27

He

30:28

adopted those pups like they were his own.

30:31

This is one of the things they were seeing while monitoring

30:33

wolves, by the way.

30:35

Wolves, like lots of creatures.

30:37

They're

30:37

really distinct personalities.

30:39

And now they could see. Some

30:42

wolves are aggressive. Some are aloof.

30:46

And eight seemed really... I know

30:48

how this sounds. They seemed

30:50

really nice. So

31:00

that's it. Which brings us

31:02

to the second wolf in the story. One of

31:04

eight's adopted pups,

31:07

known as 21. When

31:10

eight came along and started feeding the family,

31:12

he and 21 really bonded.

31:15

Father and adopted son. Part

31:18

of it was that eight was young for a father, just

31:20

a year older than the pups.

31:22

So still puppy-like in lots of ways.

31:24

Eight would do things like let all the pups attack

31:27

him, roll on his back and pretend to lose to them.

31:29

Or they might chase him around and eight

31:31

would pretend to be scared and run away. Not

31:34

all father wolves play with their pups like this.

31:37

Some are standoffish or dominant.

31:39

But 21 seemed particularly connected to

31:41

eight.

31:43

As the years went on, the other pups

31:45

in the litter wandered off, joined other packs. It

31:47

was just what wolves do. 21

31:50

though stayed. First

31:52

one year and then another. There

31:55

was one spring that their den was especially visible

31:58

and Rick's spotting scope had a clear

31:59

of them. So that whole season

32:02

Rick was able to watch them every day for hours

32:05

on end as they chased and played.

32:07

And

32:07

that's where I really began

32:09

to understand the depth of

32:11

the relationship between 8 and 21.

32:14

It was the peak of my wolf

32:19

watching career to be able to watch

32:21

that.

32:22

They were a funny couple because 8 was so small.

32:25

In 21 his son grew huge, became

32:28

significantly larger than his dad. Rick

32:31

describes 21 as an almost cartoon

32:33

version of a wolf. Like if you wanted to draw

32:35

a wolf as a Marvel superhero it

32:37

looked like 21. They'd go hunting

32:40

together. 8 would decide what to go

32:42

and if 21 wasn't around 8 would

32:44

howl and wait and then they'd head

32:46

out together. When they found

32:48

the prey 21 so

32:49

muscly and fast would

32:52

usually get their first and grab hold.

32:53

Together they'd take it down.

32:56

So they would go off and hunt, they would come back

32:58

with food, they were just inseparable.

33:01

They were buddies. They did everything together.

33:04

With 8 being

33:06

the older guy, the one in charge, 21

33:09

essentially being the apprentice.

33:13

Another season passed

33:14

and still 21 stayed in the path. He

33:17

was nearly 3 at this point. Which

33:19

honestly is like too long for a grown-ass

33:21

wolf to be living with his parents. It'd

33:23

be like a 24 year old with no friends except

33:26

for his mom and dad.

33:27

Eventually 21 did

33:29

leave

33:30

and here's where things get complicated. He

33:33

went to the path right next door.

33:35

What Rick and his team had been calling the Druid

33:37

Peak Path. The path that their family

33:39

did not get along with.

33:41

They battled in the past.

33:43

There was still a lot of tension. The

33:45

Druid Peak Path was led by a female who

33:47

was like notoriously violent and

33:50

seriously she was wild. She

33:53

drove her own mother and sister out of the pack. Rick's

33:56

pretty sure she killed entire litters of her sister's

33:58

pups. Two years later, Rick

33:58

and his family were killed. in a row. To

34:01

this day, Rick calls her the psychopath.

34:05

And she was the leader. The whole

34:07

alpha male running the pack thing, by the way.

34:10

One male beating all the others into submission. That's

34:13

a myth.

34:14

A pack is usually just a family of wolves. And

34:16

the

34:17

lead male is just a father. The

34:19

one calling the shots is actually a female.

34:22

She's in charge of strategy and decisions. And

34:25

this female is terrifying. Like

34:28

one year after 21 joined her pack, 21's

34:31

sister wanders into the pack's

34:32

territory. The psychopath

34:35

just went off on her. Someone

34:37

from the wolf project was in a plane, saw

34:39

it all happen.

34:40

The researcher in the plane

34:42

took photographs of what was happening. And

34:45

I later looked at every one of those photographs.

34:49

It was not a pretty sight. There was snow on the

34:51

ground. And as

34:54

the photos were taken, you could see more and

34:56

more blood on the snow

34:58

as she was biting

35:01

at the helpless opponent. 21

35:03

was there, but he was

35:05

in her pack. And she was the leader.

35:08

He didn't intervene. As

35:11

the years went by, he got bigger. And

35:13

their pack thrived. He

35:15

became the lead male of the pack, and he had pups

35:18

of his own. His true love

35:20

seemed to be wolf 42. A real

35:22

sweetheart, Rick says. They'd bed down

35:24

together all the time. And his pack

35:26

grew huge too. Someone

35:28

shot a documentary. A lot of the footage

35:30

focused on 21. And 21

35:33

actually got famous for being this

35:35

amazing, majestic wolf. People

35:38

would travel to Yellowstone to see him.

35:40

No one really came to see his dad.

35:49

One winter, the tension started to

35:52

escalate between 21's pack, the

35:54

Druid Peak pack, and his father, Wolf

35:56

8's pack. Rick would be at home

35:59

and hear the pack's howl.

35:59

at each other from across the valley. You

36:02

could tell from their radio collars that they were encroaching

36:05

on each other's territory. Neither

36:07

side seemed to be backing down.

36:09

The main way wolves in the park die is

36:12

in fights with other wolves. They

36:14

could seen wolf fights. They could

36:16

be brutal. And if a clash

36:18

came, 21 and a further eight

36:20

would be pitted against each other. 21's

36:23

job was to protect his pack, and

36:25

eight's job was to protect his.

36:28

I was very worried about eight. He

36:30

was now very old. He

36:32

had a lot of health problems. He

36:35

was losing his strength and his speed. 21 was

36:39

middle-aged at that point. He

36:42

was at the peak of his strength

36:45

and fighting ability. He

36:48

had never lost a fight in his life.

36:51

He was the undefeated heavyweight champion

36:53

of Yellowstone.

36:55

And there was the lead female.

36:57

That is just fine. We need to be

36:59

at the guess for our kids.

37:07

I was in Lamar Valley. I

37:10

was getting signals from both

37:13

the Druid Peak pack to the

37:15

east. I got the signal

37:17

from eight's family

37:20

to the west. Both of those

37:23

packs were traveling toward

37:25

each other.

37:28

It looked like they were both traveling

37:30

on the same ridge, specimen

37:32

ridge, on the south side of

37:34

Lamar Valley. They were moving

37:36

toward each other,

37:38

meaning that

37:40

there was going to be a fight.

37:44

One side held.

37:45

The other side held.

37:47

It was January. There was snow out. Rick

37:50

pulled over in his truck. Got a spotting scope

37:52

on the wolves. Eight's pack was

37:55

up on the ridge. 21's pack was running

37:57

uphill through forests and meadows. 21 was

38:01

out in front of his pack.

38:02

8 was in front of his.

38:04

Both packs were charging at each other.

38:06

So here I was watching the two wolves

38:08

I admired the most in the world, father

38:11

and adopted son, running at each other. They

38:15

started to come together. They

38:18

were charging at each other. 8, he

38:21

wasn't running as fast, but he was still out in

38:23

front of his family and nothing

38:25

was going to stop him. I

38:32

mean, even now thinking about it, I'm

38:38

in great

38:41

distress because I remember how

38:43

I felt then. I

38:48

did not want to see 8 killed.

38:52

I did not want to see him torn apart.

38:55

Of all the deaths that

39:00

could be fall 8, in

39:02

my mind this would be the very worst.

39:06

This would be such a horrible ending to their

39:08

story. 21 could

39:15

just pin 8 down and let him go.

39:22

But no, that wouldn't work. The

39:25

psychopath was right behind 21.

39:26

She'd surely jump in

39:28

and kill 8. No question. And

39:31

I was just helpless. But

39:33

there was nothing that I could do as a researcher

39:35

other than just watch

39:38

and document what was about to happen in front

39:40

of me. They

39:43

got to within 40 yards, 30 yards, 20 yards, 10 yards.

39:49

And I knew just in a moment

39:52

it was all going to be over. So

39:57

there I am standing there looking through my spotting

39:59

scope. So the moment arrives, they're

40:02

just a couple of feet apart from each other.

40:08

Well in that moment, 21 did

40:12

something, ran

40:16

right past 8

40:18

without stopping. Just

40:22

in the very slightest way, 21

40:25

angles away and just shoots past 8.

40:28

It was the strangest thing,

40:31

two sides heading into battle and

40:33

then running right past each other.

40:35

21's pack kept following 21

40:39

because, you know, he's leading the charge.

40:42

So when he sprinted past, they just

40:44

kept following him.

40:46

All the other Jeweled wolves ran past 8

40:48

and all the other wolves. And 8

40:50

didn't have the ability to turn around,

40:52

he just kept on going as well. Wolves

40:55

from both packs, they were just running back and forth,

40:57

they were howling at each other. It was

41:00

a confusing situation. No wolves

41:02

were harmed, no wolves were fighting. And

41:05

that was the end of the fight that never was.

41:15

This happened 23 years ago, but

41:17

Rick still thinks about it all the time, wondering

41:20

what happened that day.

41:22

Rick's

41:22

convinced that what 21 did that day was

41:24

intentional. He thinks that 21

41:27

changed the battle into a game of chase,

41:30

knowing that the other wolves would keep following

41:32

him. And also that

41:34

he could outrun them all.

41:36

21 had just come up

41:38

with this genius solution

41:41

to save the wolf

41:43

that had raised him. It

41:49

was probably the most emotional

41:51

moment of my life.

41:54

It was the most emotional moment of your life.

41:58

Yes.

42:00

By that time I had known 21 and

42:02

eight for so many years

42:05

and I respected admired them for so much

42:09

I

42:10

Was rooting for eight to somehow

42:13

survive But

42:15

the reality was I I didn't

42:17

see any way that that could be the end of the story

42:20

and somehow 21

42:24

Figured it out

42:26

He saved the day

42:29

Rick had been watching 8 and 21 day

42:31

after day for years their whole lives

42:33

and

42:35

8 was such a nice wolf.

42:37

I know how that sounds, but I really can't think of a better

42:39

word for it You'd think

42:41

that in a world as brutal as theirs niceness

42:44

could get you killed But

42:46

in the end there's a thing that saved

42:48

him after all 21 learned

42:51

how to be a wolf from 8

42:53

It's

42:54

like a dad who just poured out all this love

42:57

and the Sun inherited it

43:07

Really so in is a producer on our show

43:10

Rick McIntyre told the story of 8 and 21

43:12

in his book the rise of wolf 8 Rick

43:15

says wolf 8 died a few months after the fight

43:18

that never was From what it looked like he

43:20

died taking care of his pack an elk

43:22

kicked him in the head while he was out hunting for

43:24

them

43:29

Factory story car the

43:31

post-apocalypse edition

43:33

Because that I showed today with Simon rich

43:36

who has this story about a dad who

43:38

was also a grandfather and a great-grandfather

43:41

So it's a very strong ideas about what he wants family

43:43

members who come after him show about him

43:45

and his wife I

43:47

Interviewed my great-grandfather Simon because

43:49

he is the oldest person in my family who is still

43:51

alive He was born in a country

43:53

called America on Earth He

43:56

said he used to be a writer. I asked

43:58

him if he wrote spider-man and he said

43:59

know.

44:00

He wrote other things that have all been lost.

44:03

My great-grandfather was one of the only men to escape

44:06

from Earth. The rest of the people who got

44:08

seats on the escape pod were women and children.

44:11

My great-grandfather says they let him on because

44:13

they needed one man to row the spaceship. I'm

44:16

not sure what he means because there are no oars on a spaceship,

44:18

but that is what he said. My

44:21

great-grandfather told me how scary it was when

44:23

Earth became too hot to live on. The

44:25

skies burned with fire day and night, and

44:27

I couldn't walk across the street without collapsing.

44:30

I asked him if he had any kind of warning about climate

44:32

change, and he said yes. There had been articles,

44:35

movies, and books about how it was going to happen.

44:38

I asked him if he tried to stop it from happening,

44:40

and he said yes, of course. I

44:42

asked him how, and he said that he had done something

44:44

called recycling, which is where you

44:46

throw your garbage into different colored boxes.

44:50

I asked my mom what he was talking about, and

44:52

she explained that when people become as old as my great-grandfather,

44:55

their brains start to break down, and it's almost like

44:57

they turn back into babies. Since

45:01

my great-grandfather is going to die soon, and

45:04

he is one of the only survivors of Earth, I

45:06

decided to ask him what his favorite memory of the

45:08

planet was. I thought he might tell

45:10

me about the end of World War IV, or going

45:12

to see Spider-Man, but instead, he

45:14

told me about the first date he went on with his wife,

45:17

my great-grandmother Kathleen. They

45:19

met in college, which is a place people used

45:22

to go to after high school to drink alcohol. My

45:25

great-grandfather said that when he was in college,

45:28

online dating hadn't been invented yet. Instead

45:30

of matching with someone through a dating app and

45:33

sending a series of nude photos to each other before

45:35

eventually meeting up for sex, you would

45:37

meet them in person before doing anything else.

45:40

This meant that when my great-grandparents went out for the

45:42

first time, they had no idea what each other looked

45:44

like naked. At this point, my

45:46

mother, who is recording our interview, told

45:48

my great-grandfather that he was being inappropriate

45:51

because this was a project for school. He

45:53

apologized, but said that the naked stuff was crucial

45:56

to the story and that he was going to keep bringing

45:58

it up whenever it was relevant. My

46:01

great grandfather explained that not only had

46:03

they not seen each other naked, he wasn't

46:05

sure if my great grandmother wanted that to happen. Sometimes

46:09

in those days, when someone agreed to go out on a date

46:11

with you, they were still undecided about the naked

46:13

thing, and wanted to learn more personal information

46:16

about you before making up their mind. Since

46:18

this was before social media, the only

46:20

way to get this personal information was by asking

46:23

people questions to their face, like

46:25

as if their actual living, breathing face

46:27

was their social media profile. Sometimes

46:30

this would get embarrassing, like you might say, what

46:33

do your parents do? And they would say, my

46:35

parents are dead. And then you would have to

46:37

say something like, I'm sorry, I didn't know

46:39

that because I have no information about you. We're

46:41

strangers. The

46:46

point my great grandfather said is that he

46:48

had no idea what my great grandmother thought about him.

46:51

He had no idea what she thought about anything. He

46:53

had zero information about her, other

46:55

than what she looked like wearing clothes, and also

46:57

how it sounded when she laughed, which he had done

46:59

a couple of times on their long, slow walk through

47:02

campus with a cool fall breeze

47:04

whipping through the scattered leaves. My

47:07

great grandfather said that all dates began with

47:09

the same custom. The two people

47:11

on the date would take turns verbally listing

47:14

all the TV shows they liked. If

47:16

they both liked the same show, they'd exchange

47:18

memes from it. But here's the thing,

47:21

gifts did not exist yet. So

47:23

instead of texting the other person a funny moment from

47:25

the show, you would say out loud, do

47:28

you remember the part when, and then

47:30

you would perform the meme yourself, using

47:32

your face and body to imitate what an actor had

47:35

said and done. Exchanging

47:37

memes in person was much scarier than doing it

47:39

by text. Because when you text someone

47:41

a meme and they don't respond, you can

47:43

tell yourself that maybe they liked it but just didn't have

47:45

time to text you back. But when you performed

47:47

a meme with your body and the other person didn't

47:49

like it, you would be able to tell. Because

47:52

instead of laughing, they would just kind of sadly look

47:54

away and say, yeah, I remember that part.

47:57

And you would have to just keep on walking to the restaurant.

48:00

Luckily though, my great grandfather's meme performances

48:03

went over well. Or at least well enough

48:05

to keep the conversation going. And while

48:07

he still had no idea whether they would ever see each other

48:09

naked, he knew it was at least technically still

48:12

possible. My great grandfather

48:14

invited my great grandmother to a Spanish restaurant

48:17

because it was the only restaurant he knew that served line

48:19

to people under 21. But when

48:21

they arrived, it was too crowded to get a table. They

48:24

needed to find some other place to eat, but

48:26

neither of them had internet access. So

48:28

their only option was to physically search for food

48:31

by walking around and looking in random directions,

48:33

like truly the same process used by animals.

48:37

Things grew tense. The sun had set,

48:39

and my great grandfather was fearful that they would not

48:41

be able to find alcohol. But

48:43

after a few stressful minutes, they followed the

48:45

scent of fried food around a corner and found a

48:48

Chinese place that served beer. And

48:50

they were so proud of themselves that they spontaneously

48:52

high-fived. And that was the first time that

48:54

they touched. My

49:01

great grandfather told me they stayed at the restaurant

49:03

so long that by the end they were the only customers

49:05

left. Because they were strangers,

49:07

they asked each other very basic questions, like,

49:10

who are you? Where did you come from?

49:13

What kind of a person are you? They

49:15

ended up having a lot of things in common, which was exciting,

49:18

because that didn't usually happen on a first date. Often

49:21

the other person would dislike things he liked, or

49:23

love things that you hated. Or things would

49:26

seem to be going pretty well, and the person would

49:28

seem really nice. But then out of the blue they

49:30

would say, what is your relationship with Jesus

49:32

Christ? My

49:34

great grandfather said the main thing he talked to my

49:36

great grandmother about was how nervous they both

49:38

were about the future. I asked if

49:40

he meant climate change, and he admitted that

49:43

the imminent climate holocaust hadn't come up much.

49:45

And instead they mostly talked about their careers. It

49:48

turned out they both had the same dream—to

49:51

write stories down onto pieces of paper. In

49:54

fact, they were both already trying to do

49:56

that. Every day they would

49:58

each type out stories on computers and

50:00

then print them with ink onto pieces of white

50:02

paper. Their goal was to get better

50:04

at making these paper stories, in the hopes that someday

50:07

they might be able to persuade someone to reprint

50:09

their paper stories onto multiple pieces of

50:11

paper, and then sell those pieces of paper for

50:13

pieces of money,

50:15

which were also made of paper.

50:17

At this point, my mother whispered to me that it was time

50:19

for my great-grandfather to take a nap, and

50:21

she gave him some medicine which made him sleep for about

50:23

four hours. When he woke up,

50:26

though, he was still insisting all this paper stuff

50:28

was real, and that it was their actual shared

50:30

ambition to write stories down on paper, and

50:32

then sell the paper from more paper. And

50:35

my mother smiled and rubbed his hand and said

50:37

she believed him, but while she was doing that

50:39

she buzzed for the doctor, and he brought in this huge

50:41

syringe that was almost like a gun, because

50:43

it was made out of metal and it had this trigger on the bottom,

50:46

and the doctor explained that he was going to shoot this

50:48

thing into my great-grandfather's brain to make

50:50

him less confused. And my great-grandfather

50:53

laughed weirdly and said that he'd been joking

50:55

about all that paper stuff, and that really

50:57

what he and his wife had talked about on their first date was

50:59

climate change, because that's what any sane person

51:02

from that era would have prioritized, being

51:04

a climate warrior. And the doctor

51:06

looked into my great-grandfather's eyes with his finger

51:08

on the trigger and said, are you sure?

51:10

And my great-grandfather swallowed

51:13

and said, yep. And

51:15

so the doctor left. But on his way out,

51:18

he told my mom that he would stay nearby in case

51:20

my great-grandfather got confused again, in

51:22

which case he would come back and give him that gunshot right

51:24

in the middle of his brain. My

51:27

great-grandfather was quiet for a while, almost

51:30

like he was afraid to keep going with his story. But

51:32

I pressed him for more information, and he said the

51:35

main thing he wanted me to know before was not

51:37

what he and my great-grandmother talked about. It

51:39

was how they talked, because even though

51:41

they were basically still strangers, who had

51:43

never even seen each other naked, they somehow

51:46

believed in one another from the start. My

51:49

great-grandfather told me that all dates ended with the

51:51

same custom. After the two people

51:53

finished all the alcohol they'd been served, one

51:55

person would ask the other to come over to their dorm room

51:58

to watch Arrested Development. Arrested

52:00

Development was a non-Spider-Man show that you

52:03

played by putting small round discs into

52:05

a machine. The reason it existed

52:07

was to create a way for people on dates to gauge

52:09

each other's interests in becoming naked, without

52:11

having to directly ask them. The

52:14

way this worked was a little complicated, but my great-grandfather

52:16

was able to explain all the steps. First,

52:20

you asked the other person if they had seen Arrested

52:22

Development, and they would respond, some

52:24

but not all of it. This would be your

52:27

prompt to ask them if they wanted to come to your dorm

52:29

room to watch the episodes they'd missed. If

52:31

they didn't want to see you naked, they would say

52:33

that they had to finish a paper, which

52:36

was an expression that meant that they were not attracted to you.

52:39

If they did agree to watch Arrested Development, it

52:41

meant that they probably did want to see you naked. But

52:44

here's where it gets complicated. Sometimes

52:47

it did not mean that. Sometimes it

52:49

just meant that they wanted to watch Arrested Development. That's

52:52

why there was a third part of the custom. After

52:54

walking back to your dorm room and putting one of the discs

52:56

into the disc playing machine, you would sit side

52:59

by side on the small couch. Your

53:01

eyes would be facing the screen, but your attention

53:03

would be focused entirely on each other. As

53:06

Arrested Development played, you would physically

53:08

move closer to the other person, inch by

53:10

inch, without making any sudden movements. The

53:14

idea was that if you both moved incrementally

53:16

towards each other, eventually your hands would

53:18

touch. If the other person pulled

53:20

their hand away, or laughed and said sorry,

53:22

that meant that they had really, truly come

53:24

to watch Arrested Development. But

53:26

if they did not pull their hand away from yours, that

53:29

meant it was time to start kissing. Which

53:31

is what my great-grandparents did, even

53:33

though they had never exchanged even the most rudimentary

53:35

of nudes. And at this point, my mother

53:37

told my great-grandfather to stop telling the story.

53:40

And he had to admit that the next part was genuinely

53:42

inappropriate.

53:49

My great-grandfather said that their marriage wasn't perfect.

53:53

Because they argued, and in the 2050s they

53:55

both had full-fledged affairs with sex robots. But

53:58

they ultimately forgave each other. because nobody's

54:00

perfect. And also by the 2050s, sex robots had

54:04

become extremely advanced, as well

54:06

as incredibly persuasive. Like

54:08

if you refused to have sex with them, they would start

54:10

making really high level philosophical arguments

54:13

about why it wasn't wrong, using

54:15

logic that was essentially bulletproof, while

54:17

their boobs and dicks lit up and spun and stuff.

54:21

And eventually it got to the point where the UN had to regulate

54:23

the sex robot industry, because they needed

54:25

people to leave their apartments again, so we could go

54:27

back to being a society. The

54:30

point is, my great grandparents rekindled their

54:32

romance in the 2060s, and

54:34

they even ended up renewing their vows while riding

54:36

on the escape pod to New Earth, surrounded

54:39

by their daughters and their grandchildren. And

54:41

my great grandfather asked my mom if she could remember

54:43

the ceremony, and she said she was only four

54:45

at the time, but she did vaguely recall

54:47

how weird it was to see him on the spaceship, when

54:50

it was supposed to be just for women and children. And

54:52

my great grandfather said that they needed to bring one

54:55

man to help the women lift their bags

54:57

into the overhead compartments. And I reminded

54:59

him that earlier, he'd said he'd been on the ship to Roanor,

55:03

and there was a long pause. And

55:05

then he said that he was tired and had to go to sleep. And

55:08

he closed his eyes, but it didn't really look like he was

55:10

sleeping, because every few seconds he would

55:12

open his eyes to check if we were still there. And

55:15

when he saw we were, he would quickly close his eyes again.

55:21

And

55:24

it was around this time that my great grandmother rolled up

55:27

in her wheelchair. And my great grandfather

55:29

stopped pretending to be asleep, and he sat up and smiled,

55:32

and she smiled back. And then he lowered his voice

55:34

and said, do you want to watch Arrested Development?

55:37

And my mom reminded my great grandfather that Arrested

55:39

Development has been lost, along with everything

55:42

else on Earth, because of his generation's crimes

55:44

against humanity. But my great

55:46

grandfather ignored her and motioned for his

55:48

wife to wheel next to him, and he flipped

55:50

through random channels, while their hands inched slowly

55:52

towards each other. And

55:54

that's when I finally figured out what the Earth was really

55:56

like. It was kind of like Arrested

55:59

Development. It was something people

56:01

talked about and praised and

56:03

maybe even tried to save. But

56:05

the whole time what everybody secretly actually

56:08

cared about was the person sitting next to them.

56:11

That's where all mankind's effort went, the

56:13

sweat and the toil of billions. Not

56:16

to saving the world, but to the frantic

56:18

desperate quest for love. And

56:21

that's why the earth is gone because it was nothing

56:23

more than a conversation starter. It

56:25

wasn't what we really truly cared about. We

56:28

never even really lived there. We

56:31

lived in the presence of each other. And

56:39

when my mom read my first draft of this, she said

56:41

that I shouldn't end it this way. Because

56:43

it's glib and defeatist and seems

56:46

to absolve my great-grandfather for his political

56:48

inaction. But it's not

56:50

like anybody's gonna read this stupid essay anyway. And

56:53

even if they do it'll eventually be lost like

56:55

everything else besides Spider-Man.

56:59

So I'm just gonna stop it right here because

57:01

I want to go out and the

57:03

night's still young. Simon

57:14

Ridge reading a short story history

57:16

report. His most recent collection of short

57:18

stories is called loot. It is the first that he

57:20

spent most of his entire life younger.

57:25

When I was a kid my

57:27

dad brought on my guitar.

57:30

He got poncy. I

57:34

took glasses from the neighbor

57:36

lady but it wasn't going

57:39

anywhere. He

57:42

went and got me a good

57:44

teacher. I was getting better

57:47

I can play it

57:49

just fine. I

57:54

still practice a lot

57:56

but now this bunch is no

57:58

place. So, oh my

58:01

dad, oh my

58:03

dad, oh my

58:05

dad, oh my

58:07

dad,

58:08

oh my dad,

58:11

oh my dad. Our

58:13

program is produced today by our show's Senior Editor David

58:15

Kesterbaum with James Bennett II. People

58:18

who put together today's show include Bimatouwumni,

58:20

Chris Bendre, Abendaiy Ban, Sean Cole, Michael

58:22

Comite, Aviva de Kornfeld, Miki Meeks, Stone

58:24

Nelson, Catherine Ray Mondo, Nadia Raymond, Ryan

58:26

Romry, Ike Sreese, Kanta Raja, Francis Swanson,

58:29

Christopher Sertalum, Matt Tierney, Julie Whitaker, and

58:31

Diane Wu, our Managing Editor Sara Abdurrahman,

58:33

our Executive Editor is Emmanuel Berry. Special

58:36

thanks today to Nicole Wolf, Rodriguez Robbins,

58:38

Tarek Fuda, Mark Johnson of Global Wild

58:40

Right Resources, David Meach of the U.S.

58:42

Geological Survey and University of Minnesota,

58:45

and Bill White. Our website, thisamericanlife.org,

58:48

where you can stream our archive of over 800 episodes

58:51

for absolutely free. Also, there's

58:53

merch for your holiday shopping needs,

58:56

lists of favorite shows, tons of other stuff there too.

58:58

Again, thisamericanlife.org. This

59:01

American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX,

59:04

the Public Radio Exchange. Thanks to

59:06

Zoe Stropogam's co-founder, Mr. Tori Malatia, you

59:08

know, who's helping his little nephew with a

59:10

school project, this 3D

59:13

topographical map of the Ottoman Empire,

59:16

which is very nice. That's why we called the

59:18

kid's teacher to brag.

59:20

I said I was very involved in

59:22

putting that little turkey together. I'm

59:25

out of glass. Back next week with more

59:27

stories of this American Life.

59:46

Make

1:00:01

me feel the best of you while you

1:00:03

can.

1:00:27

He's

1:00:31

everywhere!

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features