0:00

Hey,

0:00

all. It's Arima. So our team is taking

0:02

this week off because of the Thanksgiving holiday.

0:05

But in the meantime, we wanted to share an episode

0:07

from another great show we love and

0:09

that is life kit from NPR.

0:12

Life kit, they talk to the experts to get

0:14

the best advice on everything from

0:16

sunscreen and naps to relationships

0:18

and finances, all with the goal

0:20

of helping listeners navigate life's

0:23

big and small decisions. The

0:25

podcast is hosted by my former colleague

0:28

and friend, Mary El Segara. Mary

0:30

El used to be reporter here at MarketPlace

0:33

until just a few months ago. She

0:35

is very thoughtful and just all around

0:37

a good human being. And I'm excited

0:39

for y'all to listen to her very first episode

0:41

of Life Kit. For this episode,

0:43

Mario went a little meta and offered

0:46

some handy tips for how to start

0:48

a new job. hope you all enjoy

0:50

it. and we'll catch you all with a new episode

0:53

next week.

0:55

This is NPR's life kit. I'm Mary

0:57

El Segara. and I am

0:59

your new host.

1:02

I know at Live Kit you're used to hearing lots of

1:04

voices. Host, reporters and

1:06

producers from NPR and beyond.

1:08

And don't worry, you'll still be hearing them on the

1:10

show all the time, including Life Kit's

1:13

own Andy Tagle. but

1:15

you'll also be hearing me a lot now. It's

1:17

a new era for like it. We're turning

1:19

the page. Kind of exciting.

1:21

Right? Okay. The thing is I am

1:23

really excited, but it's also

1:25

a new job and that's a little stressful.

1:29

I wrapped up my last job as reporter

1:31

and a host for MarketPlace in mid

1:33

August. And I took a few weeks off in

1:35

between. I went on vacation to Wisconsin

1:38

where a friend friend and I kayaked on Lake Michigan

1:40

and visited a giant castle filled

1:42

with cheese. It was fun

1:44

and super relaxing. but

1:46

as the first day at NPR approached,

1:48

there were all these things in the back of my mind.

1:51

Is the team gonna like me? How can I

1:53

make a good first impression? I'm getting

1:55

head shots taken. do I have to do to prepare?

1:58

I started calling friends and asking for

1:59

advice and I realized it was basically life

2:02

getting the start of my job at life

2:04

kit. We like to say on life kit

2:06

that we bring you all the best experts.

2:09

For this particular episode, I'm bringing

2:11

you some of my experts. The

2:13

people I turned to for advice. And

2:15

the topic, how to start

2:17

a new job.

2:18

Think of this episode as an introduction to

2:21

me. but also as a life kit

2:23

with takeaways

2:23

and everything.

2:33

Hey, like hit listeners. Handy Table

2:36

here to spread the word about our new special

2:38

series Deere Life Kit.

2:41

It's an advice column for your ears and

2:43

we're getting personal Every

2:46

episode will enlist expert advice

2:48

for one of your most pressing and intimate

2:50

anonymous questions about life,

2:53

love and how to keep

2:55

it together, all in about ten minutes.

2:57

New episodes every Saturday until October.

3:00

Listen to Dear Life Kids from NPR.

3:03

I will be based at NPR's bureau

3:06

in New York City. But to start off

3:08

my new job, I took the train down to headquarters

3:10

in DC.

3:12

Okay. I'm here at

3:15

MP Ever. It's my first day.

3:17

It is a big building, my

3:19

friends. and it

3:22

is my second

3:24

attempt to find the

3:27

kitchen. Okay. So one of

3:29

the intimidating things about starting a new

3:31

job is orienting yourself. I

3:33

feel like it was across

3:37

this way maybe.

3:37

Oh, boy.

3:39

This place

3:40

is amazing. Literally finding

3:42

your way around the building or even

3:44

if you're remote, getting to know who people

3:46

are, who reports to whom, who

3:48

you call when your computer's not working.

3:51

That

3:51

kind of stuff. Could

3:55

you please read me to the entrance

3:57

lobby? The lobby?

3:59

Yeah. Sure.

3:59

Okay. Long time ago.

4:03

I joked with the team that I felt like I was

4:05

drinking

4:05

information from a fire hose.

4:08

But

4:08

takeaway one,

4:09

which I am trying to remember, have

4:11

patience with yourself. ask for

4:13

help if you need it.

4:15

It's okay. If you get lost

4:17

and

4:17

need to ask a kind coworker who you

4:19

bump into for directions,

4:21

or if you have to ask somebody's name twice or

4:24

whatever, you're not gonna

4:25

absorb everything at once. By

4:28

the way, if you're getting lost in the anxiety

4:30

of what ifs. Try turning your what

4:32

ifs into a to do list.

4:34

What if I spend my whole day getting lost in

4:36

this building? To do? get a map

4:38

of the building or ask for a tour.

4:41

It's an idea from a previous life kit with

4:43

NYU professor of neuroscience and psychology,

4:45

Wendy Suzuki. And

4:47

take a deep breath. In a month or two,

4:50

you will know these things and finding

4:52

the kitchen won't be one of the many

4:54

stresses of your day.

4:57

Speaking of meeting people, that

4:59

itself can be intimidating. Right? Like

5:01

making a good first impression. I was

5:03

at my last job for six years. And

5:06

starting new again, it feels a

5:08

little like the first day is cool, and

5:10

I'm a transfer student.

5:11

Someone who knows this feeling well

5:13

My cousin Anna.

5:14

She's eleven, and that Tuesday

5:17

was also her first day of sixth

5:19

grade. Hi. Hi.

5:21

I called Anna because she's really good at this whole

5:23

meeting new people thing. I mean,

5:25

that wasn't always the case.

5:27

Well, I used to be, like, very

5:29

shy. When I was little,

5:32

I would position myself like in a like

5:35

my arms crossed and I just would

5:37

nod my head. I wouldn't have, like, a conversation

5:40

really.

5:41

So

5:43

I was very Uncomfortable.

5:46

then but

5:47

now she's in all these theater programs and

5:49

dance groups and classes, and

5:51

that has made her brave. She's

5:53

not crossing those arms anymore. Instead,

5:55

she's the initiator. Usually,

5:58

I would talk to someone

5:59

first

6:01

because sometimes, like,

6:03

people wait

6:04

for someone to talk to them before they

6:06

talk to you.

6:08

So I usually do that to make new friends.

6:12

So takeaway number two, courtesy

6:14

of Anna. Don't wait for people to

6:16

say hi to you. Just jump right in.

6:19

because you know other people are shy too sometimes

6:21

and you're helping them out and overcoming

6:23

your nerves by just making a move.

6:26

There's actually research on something called the

6:28

liking gap. Essentially, people tend

6:30

to think their interactions with others

6:32

go way worse than they actually went.

6:34

When in reality, the other person we're talking

6:36

to typically has a positive impression

6:38

of us. So with that in mind,

6:40

when you do say hi,

6:41

I mean, it sounds simple, right, but

6:44

just be you.

6:45

Actually, I remember when people

6:47

were talking to me and I would

6:49

be very safe. Like, that kind

6:51

of makes them feel like,

6:54

oh, that's weird. She's

6:56

weird. You know, so just tried

6:58

not to be, you know,

6:59

fake, like, just be yourself. You

7:01

know?

7:02

Our conversation made me think a lot about

7:04

confidence. By my second day at

7:06

Life Kit, we were already making stuff.

7:09

We recorded an episode on booster shots,

7:11

started working on this episode, we

7:13

held planning meetings, recorded promos.

7:16

I was doing things that I knew how to

7:18

do, and I think that's really important.

7:20

You gotta find opportunities to get working on the

7:23

things you feel confident doing to

7:25

use the skills you know you have.

7:28

Of

7:28

course, taking a seat at the table and sharing

7:30

your ideas. That

7:31

can be scary too. I

7:34

have found that in those moments, it

7:36

helps to phone a friend. and that

7:38

is takeaway number three. When you start

7:40

a new job and your confidence meter

7:41

is running low, let your

7:44

friends support you.

7:46

the meaning

7:48

Hi. My

7:49

friend Erica and I used to work in the same

7:51

office. So we were used to popping over to each

7:53

other's desks for a little pep talk or

7:55

having a dance break in the kitchen.

7:57

She was

7:57

one of the only people that I told

7:59

when I started

7:59

interviewing for this job. I

8:01

called her on my second day from a conference

8:03

room at NPR. dude,

8:05

I'm here. I'm so excited.

8:07

Are you kidding me? I

8:09

remember every the whole process, like,

8:11

every time I was just gonna call, like, any

8:13

second, like, something a half. I told her about some

8:15

of my what ifs and the pressure

8:17

I was feeling. That

8:19

morning, I ironed my shirt and

8:21

pants to within an inch of their life.

8:23

because I had to look just right.

8:25

because I was thinking like, you know, like,

8:27

I do iron stuff if it's super wrinkly

8:30

at home. But if felt like I was not allowed to

8:32

have, like, one wrinkle. You

8:34

know? Because if I was, like,

8:36

wrinkle girl Oh,

8:38

my

8:38

goodness.

8:40

Of course,

8:41

she knew exactly what to do at this moment.

8:43

Give me a little confidence boost about

8:45

my outfit. I meant to tell you I love

8:47

it. And the hoops that you brought with it

8:49

too I'm

8:50

into it. All of it. Sort of

8:52

monochrome. Sort of not. You

8:54

know me. I freaking love that. And the

8:56

shoot, you see?

8:57

Boom. You're very chic. Thank

9:00

you. And the hoops you're wearing too.

9:02

Actually and I was gonna comment too on your

9:04

hair. Yeah. Like I like you when your

9:06

hair's up. I

9:07

love Erica so much. I

9:10

also told her about this feeling I had that

9:12

I wanted to share my ideas with the

9:14

team, but I didn't wanna take up all the space in

9:16

the room.

9:16

It helped talking to a friend who could

9:19

ground me. That's what we do for each

9:21

other. Like, we remind each other, look how

9:23

far you've come and, like, this is what love

9:25

about you. You should tell them that or

9:27

whatever it is, you know. You

9:29

need

9:29

friends that are your real life

9:31

automational posters. Right.

9:34

If there's anything that you need to

9:36

remember is that you are good at what you do,

9:38

like, you know, Yeah.

9:40

You got this. Are you kidding

9:42

me? Talking

9:44

to Erica was a way to remember

9:47

who I am. And when you're starting a new

9:49

job, it's easy to forget that you are

9:51

a full person. And also that

9:53

life is about more than work. Another

9:56

way to do that, and this is takeaway number

9:58

four,

9:58

return to

9:59

your physical body. Like, there were

10:02

moments my first week when I realized

10:04

I was holding my breath. So I

10:06

would take a big deep

10:09

intentional inhale.

10:10

and

10:12

exhale. An evergreen

10:15

tip. We're during a meeting with our

10:17

editor Megan Cain. I

10:19

stood up and I was just like, I gotta

10:21

stretch for a minute while we talk. And we

10:23

know from previous life kit reporting,

10:25

all movement counts. Just getting up,

10:27

sitting back down, and then getting up again,

10:29

that has benefits. I

10:32

needed to be in a good head space. because

10:34

I had a big unfamiliar task

10:37

ahead. Headshots at a photography

10:39

studio back in New York. Now,

10:41

I've had my picture taken before,

10:43

but never quite like this. It

10:45

was a production. There was

10:47

hair and makeup, a professional photographer,

10:50

several different color backdrops, and I

10:52

was

10:52

kinda stressed out about it. The

10:54

day

10:54

before the photos, I called my friends Liza

10:56

and Casey. They're a married couple.

10:58

They're both longtime actors. they've

11:00

had a lot of headshots taken. Lizzo

11:02

told me that I should consider my best

11:05

colors. The ones that I know look good on me

11:07

and would complement the backdrop that photographer

11:09

was using. Also think about a

11:11

neckline that I like. But maybe

11:13

most importantly, if you pick

11:15

something that makes you feel fabulous and that you know

11:17

how to wear, like, you just put it on and

11:19

it always works, it's

11:21

probably going to

11:21

work for your photo too.

11:23

For

11:23

her, it's her denim jumpsuit, which

11:26

I can attest. she looks amazing in.

11:28

It's

11:28

just all I wanna wear.

11:32

So I went ahead and wore it for my last

11:34

session of headshots and I thought it worked

11:36

really well because it was

11:38

me, you know. And,

11:41

ultimately,

11:41

ultimately that's

11:43

what you want. rather

11:45

than, like, the perfect outfit

11:47

you want you to show up in

11:49

that hotshot. I think

11:50

the main thing is, like, at

11:52

the end of the day, if

11:54

you look in the mirror and you're like

11:56

hell yes,

11:57

then that's the look you should probably be

11:59

going with. And

12:01

look, I know not everyone gets head shots

12:03

taken for their job, but this advice

12:05

feels relevant even if you're getting a new photo

12:07

for your ID badge. or if you're thinking about

12:09

what to wear on your first day or

12:11

during a big presentation, if you

12:13

are having photos taken, maybe you

12:15

know this feeling that I express

12:17

to them. So I wanted to also talk to

12:19

you all about the so the

12:21

photos are tomorrow -- Mhmm. -- and

12:24

I still I'm still trying to get

12:26

into a head space where I feel

12:27

comfortable having my photo

12:29

taken because I just immediately

12:31

when there's a camera on me, I'm like, what

12:33

do I do with my hands? Or what

12:36

like, I just feel so suddenly

12:38

awkward about everything

12:40

in my body. I think I get in my head and I'm

12:42

like, oh, don't make that one face that

12:44

you really don't like in photos. I

12:46

mean, let's

12:46

let well, first of all, you're gonna make the

12:48

face. So don't try to not make the face. Like,

12:50

you're gonna make the you're gonna make a couple of

12:52

faces during the course of the shots that are that

12:54

are not your favorite faces, but you're just not

12:56

gonna use those pictures. It's fine. Lizol

12:58

also told me that it's less about

13:00

moving the muscles in your face

13:02

and more about channeling the energy you

13:04

want to express. By the way,

13:06

this is also a good tip if you're preparing

13:08

for a meeting. I'm not much of a

13:10

meditator, but, like, if

13:12

you spend I don't know, a

13:14

minute or thirty seconds,

13:17

visualizing something that makes

13:19

you really

13:21

happy and glowy. Like,

13:24

you know, probably for me right

13:26

now, it would be sitting down and just like

13:28

thinking about my four

13:30

month old laughing,

13:31

you know? And just

13:33

thinking about it really hard, it

13:35

kind of can put for

13:37

me anyway, it can put me in this

13:40

positive energetic space that

13:42

then makes it easier to

13:44

kind of come with that engaging energy

13:46

that you want. Casey suggested

13:49

that I bring a

13:49

chocolate chip cookie and take a big bite

13:51

of it at some point during the shoot because

13:53

my face lights up when I eat chocolate.

13:56

And they

13:56

actually had a lot of tips on how to get ready for

13:58

photos that we don't have time for in this

14:00

episode, but we've decided to do a

14:02

whole other show on that topic. So Stay

14:04

tuned. Anyway, at the photo

14:06

shoot, I definitely felt awkward,

14:08

but eventually, I started to

14:10

relax. And I've seen the headshots.

14:12

We got some good ones. I also

14:14

know that if I did it again, I

14:16

probably do a better job of posing, but

14:18

I'm trying to remember that that's

14:20

okay. In a new job,

14:22

you can expect to be perfect at everything

14:24

right away, especially at tasks

14:26

you've never done before. Even

14:28

though you want to impress people and remind them

14:30

why they hired you, It all

14:32

takes time. Give yourself some

14:34

grace, as Erica would

14:36

say. No. It's if you're gonna kill it,

14:38

it's fine.

14:43

What do you think about a lot and

14:45

need to talk about more? I

14:46

just have this big secret that I

14:48

can't tell anybody. Death, sex,

14:51

and money is an interview podcast

14:53

featuring unusually personal

14:55

conversations. For the first time

14:57

in my life, I do not need

14:59

a man.

15:00

to be whole. And

15:02

that's what our life is supposed to be

15:04

about, and man, it takes work. It

15:06

doesn't just happen. I'm

15:08

in a sail. Find that sex

15:10

and money wherever you get

15:12

your podcasts.

15:13

With confidence in

15:14

ourselves and in our

15:17

future, what a nation

15:19

we could be. I'm

15:22

John Mitchener, and this is, it

15:24

was

15:24

said, season two. a

15:25

creation and production of c

15:28

thirteen originals, a Cadence thirteen

15:30

Studio, in association with

15:32

the History Channel. It

15:34

was said season two. listen

15:36

and subscribe for free on the Odyssey

15:38

app or wherever you get

15:40

your podcasts.

15:43

Okay.

15:45

So let's recap. When you're

15:47

starting a new job, have patience with

15:49

yourself as you get oriented. Ask for

15:51

help if you need it. Don't worry if you need

15:53

to ask someone they're named twice. In a

15:56

month or two, these worries will all be

15:58

ancient history.

15:58

Also, say

16:00

hi to people first. I just tried

16:02

that in the New York Bureau today and it went

16:04

great. And when you do,

16:06

be yourself. If you

16:08

find you need a confidence boost,

16:10

phone a friend, like Erika. Make

16:12

time to take care of your physical body.

16:14

Listen to it. Feed it.

16:16

Give it water. Move it around.

16:19

And lastly, don't try

16:21

to be perfect at everything right away,

16:23

especially the new stuff.

16:29

For more life kit, check out our other

16:31

episodes. Maybe start with some of my

16:34

favorites, like how to get back what we lost to

16:36

the internet, or how to document your

16:38

family's stories. You can find them at NPR

16:40

dot org slash life kit. And if

16:42

you love the show and want more, subscribe

16:44

to our newsletter. at NPR dot

16:46

org slash life kit newsletter. And

16:48

now, a random tip from one of our listeners.

16:51

This is Megan House and

16:54

my life hack is if you're

16:56

writing an email and you wanna make

16:58

sure that you have all of the

17:00

information in it and it's all correct and

17:02

that it's going to the right people put

17:04

in the BCC or the

17:06

c c line a random combination of

17:09

numbers or letters. And

17:11

it'll keep you from accidentally sending the email

17:13

before you make sure it's all correct.

17:15

If you've got a good tip, leave us a voice

17:17

mail at 2022169823

17:22

or email us a voice memo at life

17:24

kit at NPR dot org.

17:26

This episode of Life Kit was produced Summer

17:28

Tomad. Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan.

17:31

Our digital editor is Malika

17:33

Greep. Meghan Cain is the supervising

17:35

editor. Beth's Donovan is the executive

17:37

producer. Our production team also

17:39

includes Andy Tagle, Audrey

17:41

Wynn, Claire Marie Schneider, Michelle

17:43

Osmom, and Sylvie Douglas.

17:46

Julia Carney is our podcast coordinator.

17:48

An engineering

17:49

support comes from Neil Rauch.

17:51

I'm Mary El Segara. Thanks

17:54

for listening. Hey, y'all.

17:57

It's Rima again.

17:59

So

17:59

just a couple more things before

18:02

we go.

18:02

I think I just like fooled myself into thinking, like,

18:04

you just get married and then your life is perfect

18:06

and everything works out. Next

18:08

time on this is uncomfortable,

18:10

one couple navigates growing up

18:12

and growing apart when their

18:14

marriage doesn't go as expected. I

18:17

mean, I I would just say like,

18:19

you know, Don't you trust me?

18:21

Come on, just have some some faith

18:23

in me. That's next week on

18:25

this

18:25

is uncomfortable. if you haven't already,

18:28

be sure to sign up for our weekly

18:30

newsletter. There are always really great wrecks in there for

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18:34

cook, You can sign up for that at marketplace dot org

18:37

comfort. If you're already

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subscribed by the way, you might have noticed a new segment

18:41

we're doing called defend

18:43

your splurge. basically tell us

18:45

why you bought that

18:45

thing. We won't judge.

18:48

Like, our producer, Alice, she bought an

18:50

armchair that costs a hundred dollars

18:52

for her dog and our senior producer,

18:55

Zoe, confessed her habit of

18:57

buying thirty year old Star Trek calendars

18:59

on eBay. And now we

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wanna hear how you treated yourself and why

19:03

AI. Send us your story and a photo, and we

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newsletter. You can email your submissions to

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catch you all next week.