0:10

While friend. We've. Made it.

0:12

This is the final official recording

0:14

of me reading from my book

0:16

Validation: As for parking, how women

0:18

can be the confidence con. If.

0:21

You're new here! We've released a chapter a

0:23

week over the last twelve weeks, so this

0:25

is sort of like an audio book, but

0:28

podcast style. You. Might be wondering

0:30

why I did this. While. I

0:32

can certainly tell you it wasn't for income

0:34

reasons because you can listen to this podcast

0:36

for free and technically don't need to buy

0:38

the book now. And. It wasn't

0:40

for simplicity or ease because it double

0:43

the the time and expense associated with

0:45

our podcast because we doubled the amount

0:47

of episodes we release each week. Which.

0:50

Of course met more recording time for

0:52

me but also more time for my

0:54

editing and production team. So.

0:56

If not for those reasons than why do

0:58

it. Here. Is my reasoning.

1:01

First. The business reason was to

1:03

test out increasing our podcast to two

1:05

episodes per week. I had many, many

1:08

people suggest that I do this and

1:10

it felt really daunting. Said this was

1:12

a good way for us to test

1:14

this out. And. Second, and

1:16

more importantly, having more women connect

1:18

to their confidence to experience, having

1:20

from and bold trust in self

1:22

is both what keeps me up

1:24

at night. And what gets me up

1:26

in the morning. While. That and my

1:29

one cup of half caf coffee, which is

1:31

a requirement for me to start any day.

1:33

And because this is a super

1:36

duper important reason for me, we

1:38

also offered you free access to

1:40

our forty plus page confidence building

1:42

work book which will be available

1:44

to you for free on my

1:46

website nicolecoil.com Through the end of

1:48

this month, So. Make sure you

1:50

download that as soon as possible Mccorkell L.com

1:52

and will pop up right on the home

1:54

page. Or you can follow me on Instagram

1:56

at Nicole M. Kahlil and I'll share it

1:58

in my stories. I'm

2:01

curious. Did you have any judgment about

2:03

me having both a business and an

2:05

impact reason for doing this? The.

2:08

Reason I ask is I'm noticing sort

2:10

of a trend and that's how often

2:12

people say that the reason they do

2:15

anything and everything is because of the

2:17

impact or the difference it on make

2:19

or to help others. And

2:21

I am all for all of those things.

2:24

But. I also think we've gotten away

2:26

from allowing space for other reasons to

2:29

make our decisions to do what we

2:31

do, as if anything else is somehow

2:33

bad or wrong. Some.

2:35

People only work just to have

2:37

an income and that's it. And

2:40

that's okay. Some people make business

2:42

decisions for the reason of impacting

2:44

business revenue. Assuming it's

2:46

not illegal or doesn't hurt people or

2:48

destroy the environment's or anything like that,

2:51

it's not only okay, it's business. As.

2:53

A business doesn't care about profitability

2:55

is not a business. It's a

2:58

charity or a nonprofit. or you're

3:00

volunteering, which is, of course, wonderful,

3:02

but isn't the point of most

3:04

businesses. Some. People do things

3:07

for no other reason than enjoyment or

3:09

pleasure. and guess what? We should probably

3:11

all be doing more of that. Being.

3:14

Creative dancing, painting, lying in the

3:16

grass. What ever not. Everything needs

3:19

to be about productivity or impact.

3:22

Said. I did this because of

3:24

a pass and but I also did it because it

3:26

was a great way to tests and thing out. And

3:29

I also enjoyed it. I

3:31

hadn't read my books since it was released,

3:33

so it felt like I got to read

3:35

it and hear it from a totally fresh

3:37

perspective. And I guess read it from a

3:39

place of detachment. Not. That I

3:41

don't care, but that it wasn't so raw and

3:44

so loaded with a meaning as it was when

3:46

I first wrote and released it. It's

3:48

been out in the world for well over

3:50

a year or so. I've already hit the

3:52

best seller goal and nobody can ever take

3:55

that away from me and have already received

3:57

many reviews mostly good and some not which

3:59

I ultimately. Really good about. Cell.

4:02

With. That spirit of enjoyment and

4:04

fresh perspective let me review the

4:06

last few pages. A validation is

4:09

for parking. A.

4:11

Close out my book and this episode with

4:13

some final thoughts and a little bit about

4:15

what we're going to test next for our

4:17

Monday episodes. So. Here are

4:19

my final thoughts from the book which

4:22

of course starts of the quo. You

4:24

know I love me some clothes that

4:26

says confidence is said density to the

4:28

south. You. Probably

4:31

started reading this book thinking you knew what

4:33

confidence was, what it felt like an what

4:35

it looked like. I hope

4:37

you've been able to reconnect with the true

4:39

definition of the word, which is knowing who

4:41

you are. Owning what you're not

4:43

and choosing to embrace all of it.

4:46

In. It's simplest form. Confidence is

4:48

the trust we have in and

4:51

for ourselves. And let's

4:53

face it, women have been lights is

4:55

so much about confidence. it's time we

4:57

take that definition back into our. Own

4:59

hands because trust me, It's not

5:01

live in out there any way. While.

5:04

Building our confidence may not solve all

5:06

the problems of the world like

5:08

gender inequality. It's an area where we

5:11

can make our own individual impact. It's

5:13

our own little piece of a

5:15

very large and complex puzzle that we

5:17

have ownership over. No. One can

5:19

take it away from us unless we let

5:22

them, and nobody can give it to us

5:24

either. I often think about

5:26

what would happen, what could happen in

5:28

our world if it were filled with

5:30

more confident women. I. Firmly believe

5:33

it would look very different from the

5:35

way that it does today for the

5:37

better. And that's why I

5:39

wrote this book. That's why I speak

5:41

to women and men and anyone have

5:43

any gender about confidence. Often

5:45

people ask me how they raise

5:48

confident kids and my responses always

5:50

to be a confident parents. Not.

5:53

To be perfect not to have it all

5:55

figured out. Not even to read every parenting

5:57

book can get your hands on, but be

5:59

up. Eric who chooses confidence even

6:01

when you're not feeling it. Who

6:04

practices trust even when you make

6:06

mistakes. Demonstrate. Confidence

6:08

in a way that rebels out

6:10

and makes ways the next generation

6:12

can read. The. Answer is

6:14

also the same if you're asking how. To

6:17

create confident employees or teams. Be.

6:19

A consonant leader. What?

6:22

Would corporate culture look like If

6:24

women had more confidence? How

6:26

many women would be raising their hands for

6:28

the promotions and the see sweet positions? Better.

6:31

Yet how many women would leave

6:33

corporate cultures or refuse to do

6:35

business of companies who don't value

6:38

women in leadership or value pay

6:40

equity making those companies lose profit

6:42

and their competitive edge. How.

6:44

Many women would start their own companies

6:47

and build their own businesses. What?

6:49

Would happen with food scarcity, access

6:51

to healthcare, or issues related to

6:53

racial inequality. In a world of

6:56

more confident women. My. Experience

6:58

is that when women rise,

7:00

everyone else rises with us.

7:03

And listen I know you just want to

7:05

be happy we are whole deal. But. I

7:07

also believe that as a society, we've

7:10

become overly obsessed with that feeling. This.

7:12

Journey isn't about feeling happy all the time

7:15

and there's nothing wrong with you if you

7:17

don't. It isn't about avoiding

7:19

challenges or pains because you

7:21

can't. See. Important thing is

7:24

that it's always in our power

7:26

to stand for our happiness. To

7:28

choose happiness and our own confidence

7:30

is the force that enables us

7:32

to get back up no matter

7:34

how many times we fall. Author:

7:37

And more limber once wrote. Do

7:40

Not wish me happiness. I don't expect to

7:42

be happy all the time. Wish.

7:44

Me courage and strength and a sense

7:47

of humor. I will need all of

7:49

them. And. If that were

7:51

my quote, I'd add confidence to the

7:53

list. I wish you confidence because I

7:55

know you'll need it. We. All

7:57

do. So. i

7:59

will you with this. Get in

8:01

the action. Whether it's

8:03

taking the first steps toward a seemingly

8:06

impossible goal or taking on the confidence

8:08

derailleur that affects you the most, get

8:10

proactive and get in motion. Try

8:12

and exercise or build a habit from

8:14

this book and see what happens. Remember,

8:17

this work is always about progress,

8:19

so don't be discouraged if your

8:22

whole life isn't transformed overnight. In

8:24

fact, don't expect that to happen at all.

8:27

This will always be a journey and

8:30

over time you will feel trust building

8:32

within your sins. There's

8:34

no use in waiting because no one is

8:36

coming to hand your confidence to you and

8:39

you can't think your way into it. So

8:41

the time to act is now. Who

8:43

would you be with more confidence? What risks

8:46

would you take? What decisions would

8:48

you make? What dreams would you chase? I

8:51

say it's time to find out

8:53

the answers to those questions. Take

8:55

this as a loving reminder that you are

8:57

not alone. I'm right here climbing that mountain

9:00

alongside you and I will always be cheering

9:02

you on. And there are many,

9:04

many other women climbing mountains out here with

9:06

us, putting one foot in front of the

9:08

other just like you. When

9:10

we pass each other, let's give a high-five

9:13

instead of cheering each other down. Let's

9:15

leave that comparison and judgment behind.

9:18

It's too heavy to carry anyway. We're

9:21

in this together and the time has come

9:23

to see what's possible. We

9:25

get to create an experiment. We

9:27

get to play like the confident children

9:29

we were before the world conned us.

9:32

Play is silly and it's fun. It's

9:34

taking risks big and small without worrying what

9:37

everyone will think of our creation. Do you

9:40

like it? If you do, that's

9:42

all that really matters and if not, the world

9:44

won't end because of it. You get

9:46

to try again as many times as you want

9:48

until you feel like you've got it right for

9:50

you. You'll be okay even during

9:53

the hard parts. Keep choosing

9:55

confidence. Keep choosing trust. You've

9:57

got this. Consider yourself

10:00

validated. And

10:03

there you have it. Validation is for parking

10:05

how women can beat the confidence con from

10:08

the first page to the last with a

10:10

free 40 plus page workbook companion that you

10:12

can still download for free at nicolekolil.com. I

10:15

debated about reading the acknowledgments at the end

10:18

here because I always read other authors' acknowledgments.

10:20

I feel like it gives me insight into

10:22

them, their world, and the people who fill

10:25

it. But I think that's just amazing, so I

10:27

decided to skip it. Anyway, if you

10:29

track your books or have a goal to

10:31

read a certain amount this year, make sure

10:33

you count this one. And please

10:35

leave a review and rate it on Amazon

10:37

or Goodreads while you're at it. So

10:40

what's next for Mondays? Well, we're

10:42

sticking to the theme of confidence for now

10:44

because again there's not much more I care

10:46

about than you connecting with your confidence. One

10:49

of the challenging things about writing a book

10:52

is that after you've lost it in and

10:54

released it, you learn new things and have

10:56

ideas or information that you wish you could

10:58

go back and include. And since

11:00

I won't be writing another book anytime soon, I

11:03

figured we could release podcast episodes about

11:05

confidence that I wish I could go

11:08

back and add into my book. Things

11:11

like more of the confidence derailers. I only

11:13

focused on five in the book, but there

11:15

are many more. Things like

11:17

people pleasing and some new learnings

11:19

about perfectionism among many others. And

11:22

we're also going to dive deeper into

11:24

all the different ways you can build

11:26

internal trust. I listed ten

11:28

somewhat briefly in chapter ten, but there

11:31

are of course many more and many

11:33

of the ones I listed deserve a

11:35

much deeper dive. Because if

11:37

confidence is firm and bold trust and

11:39

self and it's built internally, which I

11:41

absolutely believe that it is, then

11:44

we could all use some more ideas,

11:46

tactics, and examples of that, right? Some

11:49

of these episodes will be me sharing

11:51

some of my learnings. Many of them

11:53

will include guests with a fresh perspective

11:55

and in some cases we're going to

11:57

re-release some of our favorite, let's call

11:59

them, class. episodes of This Is

12:01

Woman's Work that I wish I would

12:03

have heard prior to writing my book

12:05

because some of that information would have

12:08

absolutely been included. In short,

12:10

Mondays will still be all

12:12

about confidence. You're confident.

12:14

So you can make the decisions,

12:16

take the risks, have the tough

12:19

conversations, and chase the dreams

12:21

each and every week. I,

12:23

for one, can't frickin wait. Thank

12:26

you for listening. And remember, confidence is when

12:28

you know who you are, own who

12:30

you're not, and choose to embrace

12:32

all of it. And

12:35

validation is for parking.