0:00

Hey, Prime members. You can listen

0:02

to this job as history early and

0:04

ad free on Amazon Music. Download

0:06

the app today.

0:15

Who doesn't love to have things delivered?

0:17

Sometimes I'll order things I don't even need just

0:20

to have something to look forward to when I get home.

0:22

Like, it's Christmas, except as February

0:24

and I'm all alone and

0:26

shoot. Sorry. That's my phone.

0:29

Are you gonna answer it?

0:32

Or

0:32

Definitely not. It's my dad.

0:34

Why are you ghost and your dad.

0:36

Well, because he's cleaning out my old room

0:38

today. It's complicated.

0:40

Wait. Like, your childhood bedroom?

0:43

He hasn't done that yet?

0:45

No. It hasn't been touched since nineteen eighty

0:47

five. Oh, god. I bet he's digging into

0:49

my closet right now.

0:50

Oh, this is bad.

0:51

I'm sure your dad doesn't care about

0:53

your old weed, Chris. It's

0:56

much worse than that. Oh,

0:59

Do you wanna talk

1:01

about it? Perfect.

1:03

Let's take the milkman intro

1:05

again. Now there's someone without secrets.

1:07

Nothing shady about delivering milk. It's

1:10

my dad again. Should I answer

1:11

it?

1:12

I think you should put your phone on silent.

1:14

The show's about to start, and you seem a

1:16

little agitated.

1:18

Good call. I'll I'll deal with it Udder, maybe

1:20

after president's day. Good morning.

1:22

Chris, intro, please.

1:24

Alright.

1:27

The convenience of a home delivered package

1:29

or door to door takeout, we see this as

1:31

a modern amenity. Udder nearly

1:34

a century, we already had a popular

1:36

daily delivery service that made the lives of

1:38

average Americans a whole lot easier. And

1:40

it was simple Milk. Today,

1:43

we say hello to the milk man.

1:47

From Wondery, I'm Chris Parnell, and

1:49

this is this job is history.

1:51

Each week, I interview actual people from

1:53

the actual past who worked some of the

1:56

strangest, most unexpected jobs

1:58

in history. From resurrectionists, to

2:00

telegraph operator, we bring the past

2:02

alive. Literally, join

2:04

us as we dive into a new odd job

2:07

each week and

2:07

meet

2:07

the fascinating people who once held them.

2:11

On this week's episode, utter

2:13

tragedy. Welcome

2:16

to this job is history. I'm pleased to

2:18

introduce our guests today all the way from

2:21

nineteen fifty

2:22

five. Please welcome to the show, mister

2:24

Eddie Flynn. Great to be

2:25

here, Chris. You know what?

2:27

I I gotta say between the white uniform

2:30

and the black bow tie, you you are dressed

2:32

exactly how I would picture a

2:33

milkman. Do you always wear

2:35

white? Well, when you're dealing with a product,

2:37

as pure as milk, you wanna dress too

2:39

impressed. So

2:42

Eddie, what does a milkman do?

2:44

Well, I deliver bottles of delicious and

2:46

nutritious milk to the doorsteps of my

2:48

customers in the Udder Dayton, Ohio

2:51

area. You know, in a day, I delivered

2:53

to over a hundred and fifty families.

2:55

That's

2:55

a lot of milk. I also sell

2:58

cheese and eggs. You know, people in the US

3:00

have been getting their milk delivered one way or

3:02

another since seventeen eighty five.

3:04

Wow.

3:05

It goes that far back. Sure does.

3:07

First delivery was in Vermont. It started

3:10

as a courtesy service from a local farm

3:12

and took off from there. Fascinating.

3:15

Of course, Things have changed a lot

3:17

from those early days. We've been using

3:19

glass bottles since eighteen seventy nine

3:21

instead of systems. We also

3:23

have refrigerated trucks, Mine

3:25

even has a radio. I can listen

3:27

to a little Perry Como as I make my

3:29

rounds. That man sings like an

3:31

angel.

3:32

Oh, I'm a big Como fan too. It's

3:34

beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I

3:36

could play that year around.

3:37

It's a classic. Agreed.

3:41

You got such a pleasant way about you, Eddie.

3:43

And Wondery smile. Everybody

3:45

must love seeing you in the morning. Well,

3:49

not everybody. Not

3:51

sure I believe you there, buddy. So

3:53

do you get the milk straight from a farm?

3:55

You don't milk the cows

3:56

yourself. Do you? Oh, I

3:58

wish. I get my milk from a wholesaler.

4:01

Sometimes even the dairy. They take care

4:03

of the bottling and pasteurization and all

4:05

of that. Right. Pasteurization. That's

4:09

That's when the milk is heated up to a hundred

4:11

and sixty one degrees for at least fifteen

4:13

seconds. For safety. That's what

4:15

pasteurize means. Thought it meant that the

4:17

cows were kept in past years. Then I

4:19

pick up the bottles and take them right to my customers

4:21

doorsteps and milk chutes. Those

4:24

are insulated boxes built right into the

4:26

side of a house. It's got two little

4:28

doors. I put the milk in from the outside

4:30

and my customer retrieves it on the

4:32

inside.

4:32

That box was a milk chute. We had

4:34

one in my house growing up. Well, some

4:37

houses, they don't have shoots, so I

4:39

always offer to bring the milk inside.

4:41

But Udder know, some people, they

4:43

have their trust

4:45

issues. Ugh. Who wouldn't trust

4:47

you? You know, we've only been talking

4:50

for, what, like, two minutes, but I feel like

4:52

I could tell you my Social Security

4:53

number.

4:54

Chris, no need to share that. I

4:56

don't have time to retrieve your identity again.

4:58

You're right. Well, I appreciate you saying

5:00

that, Chris. Milkman. We're

5:02

just guys trying to make a

5:04

living. Honest as we can. I mean,

5:06

do things happen? Sure. But

5:08

it's not like I'm threatening people at

5:10

gunpoint

5:11

anymore. Well, I'm I'm sorry. Did you

5:13

say gunpoint and anymore?

5:17

Hypothetically, of course. Hey,

5:20

I'm just here to talk about milk. Right?

5:23

Speaking of which, I brought some for you.

5:28

Wow. Okay. My My

5:30

goodness. That is a large glass

5:32

of milk. That

5:34

glass of milk is one hundred percent

5:37

Holstein Dairy

5:37

Cow. There are twenty million of those

5:40

black and white beauties pumping out milk

5:42

across our Great Nation.

5:46

That is, wow,

5:48

very rich. Is

5:51

it supposed to be this warm

5:53

Oh, yeah. It's fine. Just

5:55

means it's fresh. Trust me. I've been

5:57

doing this for twenty years.

5:59

Twenty years.

6:00

So before you were a milk man, you were

6:03

a milk child. child.

6:05

I like

6:06

that. Yeah. I started out as a

6:08

jumper in thirty four when I was just

6:10

twelve years old. Oh,

6:11

what's a jumper? That sounds exciting. Lots

6:14

of kids did it, Chris. You know, until

6:16

very recently, most used a horse

6:18

and cart for their deliveries. So with

6:20

the wagon, jumpers would

6:22

run the milk from the cart. To the customer's

6:24

house. The horses even had

6:26

rubber shoes so we didn't wake anyone up.

6:28

But all that was on my father's route.

6:30

I got my own genuine DIFCO delivery

6:33

truck once I got out of the service. Family

6:35

business. That must be nice. Do

6:37

you still work with your dad? The

6:40

less we talk about my father,

6:42

the better. You hear me?

6:44

I get that dad issues.

6:47

I had a few things come up with him this morning,

6:49

but don't ask me about them.

6:52

Deal. Unless you really wanna know?

6:54

Okay. Now, Eddie, does

6:56

anyone really need that much fresh milk

6:59

every

6:59

day? No. Well, what else are you gonna feed your baby?

7:01

A weak son? The folks over

7:03

at the US dietary association are

7:05

very clear. Milk is

7:07

nature's perfect food. Plus

7:09

milk is the only reason we're not speaking

7:11

German right

7:12

now.

7:12

Wait. Are you saying that milk is why we

7:14

won World War two? Well, yes.

7:17

Think about it. In the nineteen forties,

7:19

the government needed dairy production to make

7:21

powdered milk for mila dairy rations. Lots

7:23

of soldiers to nourish, Chris. So

7:25

they handed out subsidies to the dairy

7:27

farmers. Supply went up and our

7:29

boys were victorious. You tell

7:31

me that's a coincidence. I don't

7:33

think so. How's your glass, by the

7:35

way? You ready for a top off?

7:37

I'm good. I'm good. Is it supposed

7:39

to be this yellow? That's the

7:41

beta carotene. You know, in forty

7:43

six, President Truman made a law that said

7:45

every school lunch shouldn't glue to half pint

7:47

of whole milk. Bless that

7:49

man. I think that's because they had

7:51

so much extra milk being made since

7:53

World War two. They've had to sell it to

7:56

kids.

7:56

And what is that? Oh my god. Is it narrate?

7:59

Is it the Russians? No. I'm sorry.

8:01

My dad's calling. It's the it's the family

8:03

thing I was telling you about. Gosh.

8:05

Okay.

8:06

Sorry. No. Okay. Now,

8:08

where were we? So, Chris,

8:10

your father. You're keeping a secret

8:12

from him. Right? Did you steal

8:14

something? It's complicated.

8:16

Wait. Really crisp.

8:18

Eddie, I'd like to hear more about

8:21

your father. You really wanna know

8:23

about my pop. Well, it's

8:25

not a pretty story. You

8:28

you actually can't smoke in here. Very

8:32

funny. Where's the ass

8:33

tray? Here. Use this

8:35

mug. Thanks,

8:36

buddy. Can I offer you one? No. I'm

8:39

good. Got a bit of a baby

8:41

lung. The baby wet? Never

8:43

mind. Please

8:43

continue. So

8:44

the thing you gotta understand is milk

8:47

men have a bad rap. Oh,

8:48

you mean like how milk men, father,

8:50

other men's children? Not

8:53

again with that.

8:54

Chris, that's a stereotype,

8:56

not okay to bring up. All

8:58

Horace Weidley makes it with two widows and

9:00

suddenly it's every Milkman.

9:02

Trust me. There are plenty of assorted

9:04

things that actually go down. Intimidation,

9:07

price fixing, milk stretching.

9:09

But fathering illegitimate children,

9:11

comma. Wait, milk

9:14

stretching, intimidation,

9:16

Yeah. That started back in the eighteen hundreds

9:18

before milk came to us already in

9:20

bottles. So say you got twenty gallons

9:22

of milk from a wholesaler, add some

9:24

water to stretch the got

9:26

forty gallons to sell for the same

9:28

price. But wouldn't your customers taste

9:30

the difference?

9:31

Maybe, but most didn't. Some folks

9:34

even prefer the taste. All the

9:36

used to do it. Just a

9:38

quick fact check. That is

9:40

true. Nelkmen were actually notorious

9:42

for grifting and cheating their customers

9:44

in the nineteenth and early twentieth century.

9:46

Yeah.

9:46

It's true, and I had to on a

9:49

kind of A milkman

9:52

mafia.

9:52

I'm sorry. Did you just say the

9:55

milkman mafia? Why

9:57

so surprised? You think mafia

9:59

families are only found in big cities?

10:01

That's another stereotype right there,

10:03

mister. Let's just say that in Dayton,

10:05

Ohio, No one dared to steal routes

10:07

from the Flynn family. Wait. Was

10:09

was your father milk

10:12

mafioso?

10:13

Was he? The whole thing was his idea,

10:16

and he dragged me into it, at least

10:18

at first.

10:18

But you know what they say, you

10:21

don't leave the milk mafia

10:23

The milk mafia baves

10:25

you. Are your

10:28

folds ringing again? That's actually

10:30

a smoke alarm. I think it's your cigarette

10:32

here. Let me just wave the fumes away with

10:34

my script here. Udder

10:38

why did milkman need a mafia?

10:40

Well, you

10:40

gotta understand before bottles could

10:42

do whatever they wanted. They get these

10:44

twenty gallon milk churns from the

10:46

dairy, all open, nothing sealed,

10:48

Then they go door to door and lay a little out of the churn

10:51

into whatever customers had on hand,

10:53

a picture, a bowl. Sometimes, right

10:55

into a baby's mouth. That

10:57

sounds very unsanitary. It

11:00

was. Nothing was sterilized.

11:02

Things got so bad. Kids were getting sick

11:04

left and right. Some of them even died.

11:06

People started calling milk white poison.

11:09

So by the twenties, Uncle Sam comes around

11:11

and puts his foot down, started

11:13

mandating the Pasturization.

11:16

So no more milk stretching. Sounds

11:18

like the end of an era. All the new

11:20

regulations meant dark times for us

11:22

little guys. Because now he had to

11:24

charge real prices. Nobody

11:26

like that. And my father wasn't on

11:28

board, so he just kept stretching the Milkman?

11:31

Selling milk, even when it went bad. And

11:33

bullying whoever stood in his

11:35

way. Wow. That's not good.

11:37

I know. Soon he was running

11:39

a territory in Dayton that stretched

11:41

almost to Cincinnati. I had

11:43

to go along with it. But truth be told,

11:46

I didn't wanna make our customers

11:48

sick or intimidate them at knife point, you

11:50

know? Why I thought it was gunpoint? Sometimes it

11:52

was both okay, so five

11:54

years ago, I finally told my

11:56

father I was out, got my own

11:58

route in a partnership with a new dairy,

12:00

I've been on the straight narrow ever since.

12:02

No Milkman customers become

12:04

like family, you

12:04

know? And you shouldn't deceive

12:07

or hurt your family.

12:09

No. You you shouldn't.

12:12

Chris, are you okay?

12:15

Yeah. I'm I'm good. You

12:17

know, Eddie. Sometimes you don't have a

12:19

choice. You you have to lie to your family,

12:21

especially if you've already hidden the evidence,

12:23

say, in the back of a closet,

12:25

behind a box of tears for

12:26

fears, memorabilia. Hey, I'm

12:28

not here to judge Chris. Well,

12:30

not that I did anything wrong. Okay?

12:34

Daddy, are are you ever tempted to

12:36

go

12:36

back to the milk mafia? Once.

12:41

Listen. Last year in fifty

12:43

four, more people started getting a milk

12:45

from supermarkets and from us milk Milkman. believe

12:47

that? What's so super about having

12:49

to drive every day just to get your three

12:51

gallons of milk? Three gallons

12:53

a day. That's right.

12:56

Anyways, like I was saying, sooner or

12:58

later, we're all forced to pick a

13:00

side. It was just a few

13:02

weeks ago in fact, Oh,

13:03

okay. Hang on, Eddie, before you. Drive us off that

13:05

cliff. I wanna hear all about it

13:07

after we take a quick break. What

13:13

makes a person a murderer? Are

13:15

they born to kill? Or

13:17

are they made to kill? I'm

13:20

Candice DeLong. And on my new

13:22

podcast, killer Psyche Daily, I

13:24

share a quick ten minute rundown

13:26

every weekday on the motivations

13:28

and behaviors of the criminal

13:30

masterminds cycle paths and cold

13:32

blooded killers you hear about in the

13:34

news. I have decades of

13:36

experience as a psychiatric

13:38

nurse FBI agent, and

13:40

criminal profiler. On killer Psyche

13:42

daily, I'll give you insight into

13:44

cases like Ryan Grantham, and

13:46

the newly arrested Stockton serial

13:48

killer. I'll also bring on

13:50

expert guests to dive deeper into

13:52

the details. Share what it's like to work with a

13:54

behavioral assessment unit at Quantico,

13:57

answer some killer trivia, and

13:59

even host virtual q and a's where

14:01

I'll answer your burning

14:03

questions. Hey Prime members listen to

14:05

the Amazon Music exclusive podcast

14:08

killer Psyche daily in the

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14:10

app. Download the app today.

14:12

If you had the chance to be

14:15

brought back to life Wondery of years

14:17

in the a future. Would you take it?

14:19

Lauren's Pilgrim, a lifelong

14:21

scientist, planned for death his entire

14:23

life. Because for him, death

14:25

wasn't the end. It was just the beginning.

14:27

Loren's dream to be

14:29

frozen and brought back to life in the

14:31

future, pulls us into a cryonic

14:33

soap opera filled with dead

14:35

pets, grenades, family

14:37

feuds, hall of fame baseball

14:39

legends, and frozen heads.

14:41

Lots of frozen heads. Anush.

14:44

And I'm Elena. We host a

14:46

show called morbid. Normally, we

14:48

focus on what happens in the lead up to

14:50

death, but this time it's about what

14:52

happens next. Follow

14:55

frozen head on Amazon Music or

14:57

wherever you get your pot podcasts.

14:59

You can binge all episodes early

15:01

and ad free by subscribing to

15:03

wondering plus an Apple Podcasts or the

15:05

wondering app.

15:08

Welcome back to this job is

15:10

history. I'm speaking today with Milkman Any

15:13

Flynn from nineteen fifty five. Now,

15:15

Eddie, you were going to tell us about a

15:17

really hard choice you had to

15:19

make. That's

15:22

right. Y'all done crying now.

15:24

Not crying. My eyes

15:26

are watering because of all those

15:28

cigarette smoke in here.

15:29

Eddie, the floor is yours.

15:32

Well, it was just this past

15:34

spring. Gorgeous morning

15:36

down on Oak Street. Oak is one of

15:38

those new subdivisions that are everywhere

15:40

now. Brand new little boxy

15:42

pastel ranch houses, and a Chevy

15:44

Bel Air in every driveway. To an

15:46

outsider, every house in the neighborhood

15:48

probably looked alike. But I

15:50

knew each one like it was my very

15:52

own home. Now

15:55

I always started my route at the Thorn

15:57

Hills, wholesome family friendly

15:59

customers. They keep their yard nice

16:01

and they always do great Christmas

16:03

decorations.

16:05

When I got

16:07

to the front porch, I tried to open the

16:09

milk chute, but the door was jammed like

16:11

a sandwich at a church picnic.

16:13

So I knocked on the door. This

16:15

is Thornhill, your home? milk

16:17

should won't open. Sorry,

16:20

Eddie. We're good for today.

16:22

Now this was very strange because

16:24

missus Thornhill puts back a half

16:26

gallon on her own. Per day.

16:28

Alright, missus Thornhill. Guess I'll see

16:30

you tomorrow. I started back

16:32

to my truck when I heard the front

16:34

door open. I turned around to see missus

16:36

Thornhill standing in the doorway in a

16:38

bathrobe looking embarrassed.

16:40

Actually, Eddie, we won't be needing

16:42

anything. Ever again.

16:45

We're canceling our service.

16:48

Missus Thornhill, I don't understand.

16:50

I've never missed a delivery. Oh,

16:52

it's not that eddy. You've always been

16:54

good to us. I just wanted to

16:56

tell you face to

16:57

face, which is More than I

16:59

can say it for my fellow neighbors.

17:01

Neighbors? Who else is dropping me?

17:03

Oh, well, I don't wanna speak for anyone

17:06

else. Is it the whale cruxes? The

17:08

weeklies? Oh, god. Not the widow

17:10

Alice Denble. Her boy Willie

17:12

went up three week classes on a can of my

17:14

milk, that kid is like a son

17:16

to

17:16

me, but but but not my literal son

17:18

to be clear. It's

17:20

nothing personal, Eddie. It's just

17:23

the supermarket is cheaper.

17:25

There. I said it.

17:26

The supermarket. I get all

17:29

my shopping done in one place

17:31

now. And they press Richard's neckties

17:33

for a

17:34

nickel. I'm sorry, Eddie, but times are

17:36

changing and we have to change with him.

17:38

I

17:39

don't believe this. After all

17:42

these years. Good luck,

17:44

Eddie.

17:44

I'm so

17:45

sorry, Eddie. I I hate that your route was

17:48

undercut by big supermarket. That's

17:50

not change or progress. That's picking on

17:53

the little guy. It's not

17:55

right. Well, I just lost the

17:57

Thorn Hills, but I wasn't going down without

17:59

a fight. So I drove

18:01

to the supermarket. A Winston's just opened

18:03

up on a royal. It was silver

18:05

and boxy and there were rows

18:08

of buoys some chryslers in the parking

18:09

lot. No trees, though.

18:11

The saddest thing I've ever seen.

18:13

Right as I got

18:16

to the front of the building, the

18:18

wide glass doors washed open. All by themselves,

18:21

like there was a

18:21

ghost, scared me half to

18:24

death. That's no way to greet a

18:26

customer.

18:27

Attention shoppers need to

18:30

impress the boss at a dinner party. How

18:32

about a three bean salad with

18:34

a gel I wandered deep into

18:36

enemy territory on the shiny

18:38

linoleum. I passed isle after

18:40

isle cans, knock

18:42

says of food, if you could even call

18:44

it food. I went straight to

18:46

the dairy case at the back wall Udder a

18:48

huge mirror painted with an ad for

18:50

nat coke egg Right as I

18:53

got there, I saw a young mother, a pink

18:55

coat with her little baby shopping

18:57

cart. She was holding a Benson and

18:59

Hedges in one hand grabbing a bottle

19:01

of skim milk with the other. Benson

19:03

and Hedges. Oh, one of

19:05

those newfangled filtered cigarettes. They're very

19:07

good for you. Anyway, I was

19:10

feeling

19:10

desperate. I step between them and the

19:13

milk. Excuse

19:13

me, sir. Did you please

19:16

move aside? Sorry, ma'am.

19:18

This milk is no good. On a can

19:20

of the brusilla,

19:23

Campolo Bacter. I would gonna have to

19:25

dump it all, I'm afraid. Oh my

19:28

goodness. Thank you for telling me. The

19:30

woman stomped out her cigarette and put the

19:32

bottle of milk back into the fridge.

19:34

She was turning to walk away until I

19:36

stopped her. I'm a milkman. The

19:38

name is Eddie. See, it's on my patch right

19:40

here. My truck is parked right

19:43

outside. I've got the coldest freshest

19:45

milk in the whole county, straight from the

19:47

Blue Daisy

19:48

Dairy. Oh,

19:48

I do love

19:49

Blue Daisy. Got any specials at

19:52

it? Oh sure

19:52

do. I've got eggs and cheese too.

19:55

Write this way. We were

19:56

about to head

19:57

outside, but out of nowhere, the store manager

20:00

appeared. He looked

20:00

like he was

20:01

gonna bust a Udder.

20:04

Ma'am, I assure you there is

20:06

nothing wrong with this

20:08

milk. It's USDA approved

20:10

and triple pasteurized.

20:12

And you Why? Are you lying to my

20:15

customers? Udder,

20:16

dear. I'm not lying. And

20:18

triple pasturizing isn't a thing. Do you even

20:20

know where this milk is sourced from? What?

20:23

What are you talking about? You

20:25

don't do you. That's the problem with

20:27

your big fancy supermarkets. You've got no

20:29

connection to the people who make your foods

20:31

and deliver them. It's all canned food, this, and

20:33

TV

20:34

Wondery, that. Do you even sell

20:36

anything fresh anymore? We have a

20:38

whole

20:38

produce section. What are you

20:41

talking about? I'm calling the police.

20:43

Whoa. Wait. Wait. Wait.

20:45

Please don't do that. Look, you

20:47

you gotta understand. Little guys

20:50

like me, we we can't compete with a business like

20:51

yours. I don't know

20:54

how much longer I could hang on.

20:58

Look, Eddie, is it? I understand

21:00

it's tough, but you milkman have

21:02

got to stop coming into my store

21:04

to cry my dairy aisle. You're

21:06

the fourth one this

21:06

week. No out. So

21:09

that's how it's gonna be. Well,

21:11

I know a guy Udder knows another

21:14

guy. And all this pretty white milk you got in

21:15

here? Don't take it for granted,

21:18

mister because it could all go

21:20

away. Ten to all shoppers.

21:22

Two for one sale on Kenneth Scott

21:25

Frozen Foods, now in Isle

21:27

twelve.

21:27

My god. Is there even any

21:30

real food in this place.

21:31

I stole them

21:34

back to my truck. My head

21:36

was spinning. I had to sit down to

21:38

think, but it's a difficult

21:39

truck, so there's no place to sit down because

21:41

you drive them standing up. And

21:42

that's when I heard him. On

21:46

a crock, There's

21:47

no loyalty in this business.

21:49

What the who's back there?

21:51

I slid the fridge door of

21:54

my truck open, and there

21:56

he was. Gray hair, greased back,

21:58

leathery face, and a dirty white

22:00

uniform with three buttons gaping

22:02

open. He had a cigarette

22:04

angling out of his mouth just waiting to ash into

22:06

my

22:06

milk. Is there

22:07

any way

22:08

to greet

22:08

your father, Eddie? No.

22:10

Your father? Yeah. He'd

22:13

been hounded me for years to come back into

22:15

the family business ever since I

22:17

left. Pop thought I'd come crawling

22:20

back. And when I didn't, he just kept coming

22:22

around for little father son

22:24

conversations like

22:24

this. I was

22:26

like a

22:26

bartender with no hands trying to make

22:29

a martini. I couldn't

22:31

shave.

22:31

What do you want, pop? Heard

22:33

you were having some trouble. Only to

22:35

see if I could help you out.

22:37

Loose

22:38

travels fast. Why

22:41

do you care? The father never

22:43

stops caring about his son.

22:46

No matter how much he disappoints him.

22:48

Do you

22:49

believe him? I don't really believe him. He

22:51

sounds so shady. Pull it together,

22:53

Chris. This is very suspenseful.

22:56

The

22:56

only thing my father cared about was getting

22:58

back on top and getting me back

23:00

into the family business. I couldn't let

23:02

him strong on me no matter how bad things

23:04

we're looking right now.

23:06

Eddie, I can't stand to see these bozos

23:09

push you around. What do you say we put

23:11

out routes together. You and me

23:13

like the old days. My

23:15

customers deserve better than you.

23:18

Better than your own father.

23:19

Uh-huh. So you're gonna let the

23:22

government Udder these supermarket jerks

23:24

put us on a business.

23:25

It's time to ask yourself

23:28

where your loyalty Son.

23:30

He patted me on the shoulder grabbed the

23:32

bottle off the rack and popped the top.

23:35

He looked me straight in the eye and slowly

23:37

brought it up to his lips. Don't

23:39

you dare to drink my milk? That's

23:41

a hundred percent pure blue daisy

23:43

cream top.

23:44

Fine. I prefer my milk

23:47

watered down anyhow. But

23:49

you've listened to me,

23:50

son. No way you're gonna keep

23:52

up with these times without your old

23:54

man's help.

23:55

I didn't

23:56

know what to do. If I said

23:58

no to him, I stayed honest, but

24:00

I'd lose my livelihood.

24:02

And if I

24:02

said yes, I'd

24:04

have to

24:04

go back to milk stretching and

24:07

intimidation. Well,

24:08

obviously, you couldn't rejoin Milkman mafia

24:10

and you'd feel so guilty. He's

24:12

got his back against the wall. What's he supposed

24:14

to do? Just sit back can let

24:16

big milk win? I know.

24:18

It

24:18

was a deli of a pickle. Well,

24:21

son? What'd it be? Pop,

24:24

I'm

24:24

grateful to you for teaching me to be a

24:27

milk man,

24:28

but I'm not

24:28

like you, and I never

24:31

will be. Oh, come on.

24:33

You were great on our route.

24:35

No one could intimidate a

24:37

distributor like you did.

24:39

We were a couple of bruisers beating

24:41

the system together. Remember

24:44

when you said that going into the service

24:46

would make me a better

24:47

man? Yeah. I was proud of you for

24:50

that. You were a tough

24:52

notched soldier.

24:54

Well, it

24:55

did make me a

24:56

better man. I know.

24:59

I could tell that

25:00

first day you came back home. I'm

25:02

out

25:02

pop. Don't ask

25:05

me again. Well,

25:08

standing

25:08

up to me like that? I guess

25:11

I raised something of a man after

25:14

all.

25:14

He put

25:14

the top back on the mill. And handed

25:16

it back to me, half empty. Sorry. I

25:18

just took

25:19

a couple of sweets there. Yeah.

25:21

You know I can't sell this

25:23

now.

25:24

A hunk when I

25:24

see your pup. See you,

25:26

Eddie. Blue

25:28

Daisy Dairy. Really

25:32

good son. And off

25:34

he

25:34

went. Gotten his turco

25:37

is thunderbird and peeled out of the parking

25:39

lot. I watched them go

25:41

and turned on my

25:41

radio. And I was down to my

25:44

luck, and I felt good.

25:46

And I'd made my peace with my dad and stood

25:48

up for my

25:49

beliefs. And even though I'm still David

25:51

to the supermarket's delight,

25:53

I'll keep selling my milk to

25:55

whoever's buying. Wow.

25:58

Eddie, I don't know if I could confront

26:01

my father like that, and that

26:03

car sounds so cool.

26:04

Eddie,

26:04

I wish we still Milkman like

26:07

you around. I couldn't agree

26:09

more. Well, when we come back, we'll find

26:11

out what happened to the milkman. And

26:13

if Eddie was able to lead those merry men

26:15

of milk to the land of milk

26:17

and honey, That might have been too many milks in a

26:19

row. Welcome back.

26:21

Eddie, it's the part of our show when we

26:23

find out if your job is

26:24

history. You ready? I

26:28

guess. So

26:29

innovations in technology did

26:32

improve the quality and safety of

26:34

the dairy industry. Udder those same innovations

26:36

eventually led to the end of the

26:38

milkman. Oh,

26:40

no. No. No. No.

26:42

You're kidding. Right? Yeah. Udder

26:44

But milk deliveries were still about thirty percent of the market

26:46

in nineteen sixty three. Thirty

26:49

percent.

26:49

Okay. Okay. That's better than nothing.

26:51

Right? Yeah. But

26:53

By two thousand and five, door to

26:55

door delivery accounted for less than one percent

26:58

of all milk sales in the

27:00

United

27:00

States. Sorry that's gonna be tough to

27:03

hear. Tough to hear. Looks

27:05

only the thing that gives me a sense

27:07

of purpose. Jeez Louise. I

27:09

mean, did you think I wouldn't be upset?

27:11

I don't know,

27:11

ready.

27:11

Just take take all the time you need. I know this can

27:14

be a lot. All those hours in my DIP

27:16

code truck without any breaks, I

27:18

urinated in an empty milk bottle just so

27:20

everyone got their delivery on

27:21

time. Was it worth it, Chris? I

27:24

hope

27:24

that's not

27:24

too personal for your program.

27:26

Not at all. In fact,

27:29

I I

27:29

think it's

27:29

time I share something personal as

27:32

well.

27:32

Chris, actually now is not

27:34

the time. Let's save it for after the

27:37

show.

27:37

Linda, now is the perfect

27:39

time. In nineteen

27:41

eighty four, I was in the

27:43

eleventh grade.

27:44

And here we go. We had to

27:46

sell chocolate bars to raise money for

27:48

my school play. We were doing

27:51

Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Udder coat.

27:54

I was so nervous about

27:56

performing. I I

27:58

started eating the chocolate bars to calm

28:00

my

28:00

nerves. The very same chocolate bars that I was supposed

28:03

to be selling. Oh, hey,

28:05

Chris. I do the same thing with deviled

28:07

eggs. Seriously, a night

28:09

in with an extra dry martini and put on

28:11

some Doris Day records, Devil Day,

28:13

Marlboro Red, Devil Day, Marlboro Red

28:15

back and forth. I can go for hours and that's a

28:17

nice night in.

28:17

Yikes. Well, anyway,

28:20

when my dad asked me about the missing bars,

28:22

I I lied, and I told him I was

28:24

robbed. He had to pay two hundred dollars

28:26

for chocolate, but Tell me not to worry

28:28

about it, that my safety was all that

28:31

mattered. I felt so ashamed I shoved the rest

28:33

of the bars to the back of my closet and

28:35

I never ate chocolate again. You're

28:38

right, Eddie. Feels good to take that

28:41

weight off. Not

28:43

sure that's exactly like my

28:44

thing, but okay.

28:46

Mean, it is a little bit, you know, because the secrets

28:49

and the bad stuff. Oh, sure.

28:51

Sure. Udder, you know, I'm

28:53

not really the guy you need to tell this. Too.

28:55

Oh, Eddie, I I can never talk to my dad

28:57

about this.

28:57

Then you're still holding onto it, and

29:00

that'll make you sick, like if you drank

29:02

a glass of milk you left in your

29:04

car

29:04

overnight. Have you done that?

29:06

Oh, who hasn't? Talk to

29:08

your father. You gotta clear the guilt milk out

29:10

of the milk chute of your heart.

29:14

You're right. You know, if you want a Milkman,

29:16

make a

29:17

pretty good psychologist. I don't

29:19

believe in hedge drinkers. Chris,

29:22

Why didn't you throw the chocolate bars away?

29:24

You

29:24

know it's too stressful to figure out where

29:26

to throw them out. You know, now I understand why it's

29:28

so hard to get rid of a body.

29:30

Well, I I know some guys or at

29:33

least some people who know some guys that could,

29:35

you know, help you with that.

29:37

Oh, thank you, Eddie. That's

29:39

so sweet. But Udder hold

29:41

up. Where does everyone buy milk these

29:44

days?

29:44

Well, would you believe that it's

29:45

still supermarkets? Those

29:48

wand droops. I don't know if

29:49

we should bleep that. Is that a bad

29:52

word? Not so fast though. Big

29:54

Milkman been struggling. Consumers are turning to milk

29:57

alternatives like

29:57

almond, soy, and oat milk. And

30:00

how pray tell do you milk

30:03

and oat? Well, you know, I've often worn it

30:05

the same thing any they don't have

30:06

any nipples or udders. I I don't know if

30:09

you just, like, squeeze the stock and

30:11

and then milk

30:13

comes out. I'm gonna stop this before it gets too

30:15

weird. It's just oats blended

30:17

with water, you guys.

30:18

Sended with gum. So

30:21

let

30:21

me get this straight. Milkman are

30:23

gone. Supermarkets one. Well, the

30:25

milkmen may not be a thing. Though though some

30:27

are still around, but Listen, Eddie, you

30:29

have to understand how we remember

30:30

you. Milkman hold a special place

30:33

in our hearts. No one's

30:34

more wholesome than a milkman. That's

30:37

right. Today, when we think of a milkman, we think

30:39

of honesty, friendliness,

30:41

and then our connection to the farms

30:43

of

30:43

America. And believe it or not, that's

30:45

that's really important to a lot of people today.

30:47

Well, that helps,

30:48

Chris. You know what I think we

30:51

need? How about a nice

30:51

tall glass of milk? Yes.

30:55

I was just about to say the same thing.

30:57

I'll pour a couple of

30:59

pints. I'm

31:02

glad we're doing this. You need real stuff.

31:05

Chris, your skin is looking very

31:07

gray. It'll also help

31:08

with, you know, your muscle tone. Oh, thank you.

31:10

Thank you. I've done I'll take all the help I

31:12

can get. I'm very weak.

31:17

Eddie, we've sadly come to the last part of the show.

31:19

I'm gonna ask you five questions and

31:21

you tell me the first thing that pops into

31:23

your

31:23

head. Oh,

31:24

kinda like the sixty four thousand dollar question.

31:27

I got it. What is

31:28

the biggest misconception about

31:31

your job?

31:33

Well, probably that

31:35

we work very long days. I work

31:37

an hour at a time and then I go to a

31:39

little speak easy. Underneath a car

31:42

dealership on the outskirts of town. And

31:44

there I just pound gin for

31:46

about an hour and then I get back on the road

31:48

and do some more deliveries. I mean,

31:50

in the end, I guess my work shift is

31:52

probably about sixteen hours, but it's in little

31:54

segments, little woozy, dreamlike

31:57

segments. Okay. What was your

31:59

biggest failure? Little

32:02

Albie Johnson. Never drank

32:04

his Milkman. Full set of dentures

32:06

at seventeen. Poor poor

32:08

family, so his fake teeth were made of

32:09

wood. He never wanted to make the kids smile

32:12

at you. Lips full of

32:14

Splinters.

32:14

Real nightmare. What was the

32:16

best compliment you ever received? Well,

32:19

a customer once told me

32:21

that the only people she trusted were me and Dwight

32:23

D. Eisenhower. And I voted for

32:25

Dwight D. Eisenhower. I like

32:27

a bald man. What

32:30

traits make a good milk Milkman?

32:32

Oh, okay. Honesty,

32:36

punctuality, on a tray

32:38

of biss kits for the Pearson RockWire. That thing will rip

32:40

your blasted face off.

32:42

And, you know, obviously, you

32:44

kinda gotta keep it tight when

32:46

you get around all the wives at home

32:47

alone. You just say no.

32:50

I'm just bringing you your two percent, your

32:52

heavy cream, your married woman

32:54

back

32:54

off. So Yeah. How do you

32:56

want people to remember

32:58

you? Well, I'd like

33:01

them to remember me as the healthiest

33:03

part of their day. Not

33:05

only do I bring them plenty of vitamins

33:07

and pasteurize

33:08

goodness, I bring them a smile, a

33:11

firm handshake, and

33:13

hopefully not a too hefty

33:14

bill. Eddie, you told me

33:17

that you helped people grow and

33:19

I feel like I've grown about ten feet

33:21

today. Oh, because of that chocolate bar thing. Yeah.

33:23

That was weird, Chris. Well, I don't

33:25

know. I mean, it was it was because of the

33:27

chocolate bar thing, you know, but it's trying

33:29

to be honest. Anytime. And

33:31

good luck with your folks. No. Thanks,

33:33

Eddie. You know what? I think I'm

33:36

actually ready to talk to my

33:38

dad. Oh, would you like

33:40

a cigarette? Always calm minder

33:42

before I talk to my pops. I'm

33:44

I'm

33:44

good. I'm good. Linda, how

33:46

about for you? Like cigarette?

33:48

Oh, I couldn't

33:52

possibly That is Come on.

33:54

Come on.

33:56

Meet me around back after the show, and we can

33:59

definitely have one. Alright. Okay.

34:01

Alright. But I hope you just want a cigarette,

34:03

and this isn't that Milkman, There

34:05

you go. I got than you a

34:07

cigarette. Don't worry about it, honey. I just want a

34:08

cigarette. What do you guys

34:09

whispering about? Don't worry. I

34:11

can't think, Chris?

34:13

Eddie Flynn taught me a few things

34:15

today. Apparently, some milkman know where to hide

34:17

a body. But also, you can't

34:20

run away from your past. And funny

34:22

enough, if you want your past to stop chasing

34:24

you, the best thing to do might be to

34:26

run towards it, like say you're out for a

34:28

hike and suddenly you're being pursued by a

34:30

mountain lion. Should you turn and

34:32

run or should you greet

34:34

that big cat with open arms and a

34:36

smile?

34:36

Chris, maybe let's try

34:39

a metaphor with less potential

34:42

legal

34:42

repercussions. Yeah. I

34:42

I heard it as I was saying

34:45

it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

34:46

Udder you know what? Linda,

34:49

If you ever wanna get any dark secrets

34:51

off your

34:51

chest, I'm I'm always here

34:53

to listen.

34:54

Do you have any dark secrets?

34:56

No. No dark secrets here, Chris. I'm

34:58

an open book. Also, I don't wanna make

35:00

you an accomplice to

35:01

anything. Oh, boy.

35:03

It's dad. Okay. Here

35:06

we go. He'll

35:07

understand Chris. The musicals can be really stressful. Hey

35:10

pop. Hey, Prime members.

35:14

You can listen to this job as history early in ad free

35:16

on Amazon Music. Download the

35:18

Amazon Music app today, or you can

35:20

listen ad free with wondering Wondery

35:23

and Apple podcasts. Before you

35:24

go, tell us about yourself by completing

35:26

a short survey at wundery dot

35:29

com slash

35:30

survey. From wondering, this is Wondery

35:32

is history, and this is Udder tragedy,

35:35

written by Andrew Barber. I'm

35:37

your host, Chris Parnell.

35:40

Linda was played by Elise Morales. Betty the

35:42

milkman was played by David Crab.

35:44

Sound design is by Aaron May.

35:46

Our engineers are Austin Lim and

35:49

James Kiss Sara. Additional audio assistance by

35:51

Adrienne Tapia. Mikayla Blythe is

35:53

our senior story editor,

35:55

Adam Masterroff is our story

35:58

editor. Emma Reynolds is our associate

36:00

producer. Our managing producer is

36:02

Ryan Lore. Chenue Evodo is

36:04

our coordinating producer Matthew Wise

36:06

is our senior producer. Our

36:08

executive producers are Sochi

36:09

Dorsey, Stephanie Gens, and Marsha

36:11

Louie for wondering.

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