Chicago has a new mass transit card, and it's terrible. Veteran despairer Chad Briggs joins newcomer and gigglepuss Goodrich Gevaart to discuss that horror, plus the nightmare of modern customer service. Edward Snowden's government theft is compared to that of Fat Lenny, who ripped off the Navy for millions. Poor people take it in the shorts again. And Chad unveils his newest character, Folksy South American Sheriff.