0:03

What is it that

0:03

is having my physiology react as

0:06

if I'm in danger. And so it

0:06

might be, I'm afraid that I'm

0:10

going to blow it. And that I'm

0:10

going to be embarrassed. And I'm

0:14

going to be a laughingstock, and

0:14

people aren't going to respect

0:16

me. So then you step back and

0:16

you find a different context,

0:20

you say, everyone in this room

0:20

has been in my position, and

0:24

they know how hard it is to get

0:24

up in front of everybody, and

0:28

make a presentation. And if I

0:28

blow it, then I'm gonna get a

0:34

lot of latitude from people.

0:34

That's number one. But number

0:37

two, this isn't a make it or

0:37

break it situation. And if I

0:41

blow this, and I lose the

0:41

opportunity that this

0:45

represents, I'm going to

0:45

continue on. I will continue on

0:49

the same way. I've always

0:49

continued on I will find the

0:51

next opportunity, and I will

0:51

move it forward. Would I like

0:54

this opportunity to happen yet?

0:54

Will I survive if it doesn't

0:58

happen? Yeah, I will.

1:08

Welcome to thought hustle. Today, we have the pleasure of bringing on

1:10

Matthew ferry. How you doing

1:13

today, Matthew?

1:14

I am doing really

1:14

well excited to be here.

1:17

I'm excited to have you. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us

1:19

today. So why don't you tell

1:22

thought hustle a little bit

1:22

about yourself and your

1:24

background? Who is Matthew?

1:26

Ah, well, I am a

1:26

an author, spiritual teacher.

1:31

And I'm a music producer, and

1:31

songwriter. And I combine all of

1:36

those things together to create

1:36

inspiring and fun ways for

1:41

people to learn how to quiet

1:41

their mind, to live at peace and

1:44

to experience a lot of

1:44

prosperity and life while

1:48

they're doing it.

1:50

There you go.

1:50

That's quite the pension. As I

1:52

was looking over, I can see that

1:52

you're all about peace and

1:55

reducing stress, which is

1:55

something that I have had to

1:58

work on a lot. Full disclaimer.

1:58

Yeah, all of us have. And I want

2:02

to ask, what got you started in

2:02

this? Were you always a very

2:06

peaceful child? Or did you find

2:06

yourself going crazy, and you're

2:10

like, Alright, I need to figure this out.

2:12

Like a little bit

2:12

about when I was about nine

2:14

years old, I started having

2:14

these crazy experiences where I

2:17

was, I felt like I was leaving

2:17

my body. And I didn't know what

2:21

it was. But that was so

2:21

profound, and so much bliss and

2:26

peace and confidence, that every

2:26

time it stopped happening, I

2:31

would like burst into tears of

2:31

regret, and longing. And how do

2:36

I get back there again, and you

2:36

know, so I just I took the same

2:39

path that anybody would take

2:39

sex, drugs, rock and roll, you

2:43

know, tried to be a bit of

2:43

everything figured out money,

2:46

you know, women, you know, food,

2:46

nice things. I mean, I did

2:51

everything. And none of it

2:51

works. Of course, it is nice to

2:55

have good stuff and feels good

2:55

to make money and do all of

2:59

those things. And I want people

2:59

to have all of that. But it's

3:02

not the answer. It doesn't

3:02

actually bring you the happiness

3:05

and peace that you want not

3:05

fulfilled. So well, it can be

3:09

really fulfilling. Ultimately, I

3:09

arrived at this idea that our

3:18

survival mind, which I call the

3:18

drunk monkey, is running the

3:23

show. And it's running the show

3:23

in a world where our survival is

3:27

not really at risk. And so it's

3:27

like this legacy set of genetics

3:32

and code that we have, is

3:32

causing us to freak out in non

3:37

freakout situations to stress

3:37

out in non stressful situations.

3:42

And so my path sort of led me to

3:42

that conclusion. And because I

3:47

was in the coaching and training

3:47

business, first with real estate

3:50

agents, and then later with Wall

3:50

Street executives, and then

3:54

ultimately with all kinds of

3:54

different CEOs and entrepreneurs

3:58

and people creating, you know,

3:58

world changing stuff. Because my

4:03

job was essentially to support

4:03

them. In that process. What I

4:06

found was helping people to get

4:06

to a place of peace sort of flow

4:12

created a tremendous amount of

4:12

personal power and confidence,

4:17

something that I call enlightened prosperity, essentially.

4:20

Now you talk

4:20

about the drunk monkey. And I

4:23

found that a lot of people, they

4:23

come across these limiters in

4:26

their life, these things that hold them back, and they give it a name because it's easier for

4:28

us as humans, when we have

4:31

something that we can physically

4:31

hang on to, it's easier for us

4:34

to picture it and deal with it

4:34

when we have that. So would you

4:36

describe to the listeners, what

4:36

is this drunk monkey that you're

4:40

talking about?

4:41

Well start by

4:41

saying that I first heard this

4:44

when I was maybe 2021 years old.

4:44

My mentor was talking about the

4:50

monkey mind, which is like an

4:50

Eastern mysticism way of

4:54

describing your negative

4:54

thoughts. And I thought wow, you

4:58

know at the time I Don't just

4:58

have a monkey mind, in my mind

5:02

is like a wasted crazy monkey in

5:02

there. And I started calling it

5:07

the drunk monkey. And of course,

5:07

that's a little grammatically

5:10

incorrect, it should be the

5:10

drunk monkey, but it's stuck.

5:13

And so now, I call all of that

5:13

unwanted thinking, the drunk

5:18

monkey, the self doubt, the

5:18

thinking, like the arguing with

5:22

your spouse in your car, on the

5:22

way home, except it's all in

5:27

your head and your spouse's at

5:27

home. And you haven't talked to

5:30

him yet. But the mind is

5:30

lamenting, like, if she says

5:33

this, I'm gonna say that, and

5:33

then I'm gonna do this. And then

5:35

she's gonna say that, yeah,

5:35

that's the drunk monkey. And it

5:38

creates a stress in your body,

5:38

it ruins your experience of

5:42

life. And yet, for most people,

5:42

it is uncontrollable. And I've

5:48

developed a method to not only

5:48

control it, but to get it to

5:51

stop.

5:52

Do you want to

5:52

fully remove the drunk monkey

5:55

though?

5:55

Not in survival

5:55

situations. But your work is not

6:00

survival? Yeah, your

6:00

relationship with your

6:04

significant other is not

6:04

survival. Your child, getting a

6:08

an F in school is not survival.

6:08

These things don't warrant,

6:13

anger, hostility, freak out,

6:13

stress, frustration. They don't

6:17

warrant it. But we're

6:17

biologically hardwired to relate

6:21

to our environment in this sort

6:21

of fatalistic Life and Death

6:25

kind of situation. And you. And

6:25

it gets expressed in stress,

6:31

anxiety, anger, freakout

6:31

hopelessness.

6:37

So when we're

6:37

facing up against our drunk

6:39

monkey, whatever it might be, I

6:39

would imagine that everyone can

6:42

have their own individual drunk

6:42

monkey a different type. I mean,

6:46

some people do a stress and

6:46

others, they feel alone. And

6:49

there's different types of drunk

6:49

monkey is that the case that

6:52

people struggle with different

6:52

types of trunk monkeys?

6:56

Well over the years, so everyone's there's going to be an individual. But

6:58

over the years, you know, I've

7:00

coached more than 1000 people,

7:00

personally, in the last 30

7:04

years. And that has shown me

7:04

that everyone has very similar

7:11

qualities that the drunk monkey

7:11

is like a standard operating

7:13

system. So it will forecast the

7:13

negative, automatically, it will

7:20

judge you and beat you up.

7:20

Automatically. These are

7:24

survival traits. So if I judged

7:24

myself and I beat myself up, a

7:28

lower version of myself, would

7:28

be motivated by that motivated

7:34

to make changes. But today, what

7:34

happens is, I judge myself and I

7:38

beat myself up. And while some

7:38

people are motivated to make

7:42

change out of that, most people

7:42

these days are actually thrown

7:47

into a depression or an anxiety

7:47

and they're not able to get out,

7:50

they don't take any action

7:50

whatsoever. And so the next step

7:54

is to see the drunk monkey doing

7:54

that. awareness will then make

7:59

you flexible, flexibility will

7:59

lead to new options, and options

8:03

give you power. So it's really

8:03

about awareness of the drunk

8:06

monkey. Now, there's an

8:06

underlying component of the

8:09

drunk monkey that what I found

8:09

in my investigations is most of

8:13

my mentors actually weren't able

8:13

to get all the way down to why

8:19

does the mind talk? Why? Why is

8:19

it talking to me? And I didn't

8:24

ask it. And why is it focusing

8:24

on all of these negative, angry,

8:27

upset, frustrating, self

8:27

doubting, self loathing? Why is

8:32

it doing that? And when you boil

8:32

it all down to it, it really

8:36

comes down to survival, it comes

8:36

down to navigating the

8:39

environment, and maintaining the

8:39

proper chemicals and you know,

8:45

information. And let's call it

8:45

protecting the body. Yeah, what

8:49

what the body needs, right? So

8:49

thinking is really just an

8:53

expression of optimizing. But

8:53

the thinking that we do comes

8:58

from our genetic past, which

8:58

doesn't have anything to do with

9:05

the exponential time we're

9:05

living in. Most people are going

9:11

to die from what they eat and

9:11

what they think. cancer and

9:15

heart attack. Yeah, those Dogan

9:15

stress, essentially stress and

9:21

you know, toxic food that

9:21

degrades you.

9:23

Well, stress is

9:23

a huge killer as well. I mean,

9:26

they found that the more stressed you are, the more likely you are to have a heart

9:28

attack and die young. So it's

9:30

not just if I have stress,

9:30

that's okay. That is literally

9:34

something that will kill you.

9:34

And that's proven. Now you're

9:36

raising some questions with me,

9:36

you're saying that our brain is

9:40

doing these things to optimize

9:40

to protect ourselves to make

9:43

sure that we're in a peak state.

9:43

We're ready and you're saying

9:46

that we can kind of eliminate

9:46

that drunk monkey right. Turn so

9:51

but the first the first step is

9:51

you have to recognize it right?

9:54

You have to recognize your drunk

9:54

monkey. So does everyone

9:57

recognize their drunk monkey or

9:57

in your car? sessions Do you

10:01

realize that not everyone or not

10:01

even most people even recognize

10:05

that they have this drunk monkey

10:05

or this limiting belief or the

10:08

stress or anxiety that's holding

10:08

us back?

10:11

I'll say it in this way, I'll answer your question. proposing something

10:12

else to our listener, your

10:17

thoughts, aren't you, your

10:17

thoughts don't even care about

10:21

you. Your thoughts don't care

10:21

about your well being. Your

10:24

thoughts care about optimizing

10:24

for longevity and survival. But

10:30

longevity and survival these

10:30

days are essentially increasing

10:36

whether you want them to or not,

10:36

people are living longer and

10:39

longer and longer, because the

10:39

environment is shifting. And we

10:44

as a society, especially in

10:44

first world, countries have

10:47

removed so many of the things

10:47

that would actually harm you. So

10:52

do people know that they have a

10:52

drunk monkey? The answer is no.

10:55

People think that their thoughts

10:55

are them. But your thoughts are

10:57

automatic. I mean, let's be

10:57

honest, who else calls you fat

11:01

and stupid? Only the drunk

11:01

monkey, right? But if your

11:04

friends called you fat and

11:04

stupid, he would be like, Yo,

11:08

dude, they wouldn't be your

11:08

friend. WTF, what are you doing,

11:13

but we let the drunk monkey call

11:13

us fat and stupid all the time.

11:16

And we listen to it. Like, it's

11:16

important, and it has merit and

11:20

it has value. And the truth is,

11:20

if you're in a survival

11:23

situation, then you're listening

11:23

to the drunk monkey really

11:27

important. But can I get the new

11:27

Apple Watch, that's not a

11:31

survival situation. And yet, it

11:31

stresses people out sometimes,

11:35

for done that person. Right,

11:35

that's essentially getting taken

11:42

over by the drunk monkey. So in

11:42

my method, you do four things,

11:45

you become aware of two things,

11:45

and then you are active with two

11:49

things. So the rapid alignment

11:49

process is one, being aware of

11:54

the unconscious reflexes of the

11:54

drunk monkey, to being aware of

12:00

the motive for thinking because

12:00

if you remove the motive for

12:03

thinking, then thinking will

12:03

stop. And if thinking stops,

12:06

then suddenly you have

12:06

inspiration, creativity and joy

12:09

and chutzpah and energy and

12:09

courage. And it's amazing what

12:13

happens. And so the motivation

12:13

for thinking turns out to be 10

12:17

things, greed, grudge, hatred,

12:17

victim, the logical rules,

12:23

pride, resistance, lazy, etc.

12:23

There are 10 hidden motives to

12:28

survive. Becoming aware of them

12:28

makes you more flexible, that

12:33

reveals new options. And that

12:33

gives you power options give you

12:36

power, being aware of the drunk

12:36

monkey and the hidden motives,

12:39

those that's the awareness

12:39

process, then there's an active

12:42

process, which is connecting

12:42

with enlightened perspectives.

12:47

And enlightened perspectives,

12:47

just assume that all as well. So

12:50

if I assume that all as well,

12:50

then there's no need for me to

12:53

lament anything. And that's not

12:53

being Pollyanna. That's actually

12:57

taking on an enlightened

12:57

perspective. So enlightened

13:00

means modern, rational way of

13:00

looking at the world. And it is

13:05

modern and rational, to

13:05

recognize that none of the

13:10

things that you're involved in

13:10

are actually dangerous. Maybe 1%

13:15

Your whole life will be

13:15

something that would be

13:18

dangerous. And yet,

13:20

during that speech, you're not gonna you know, get shot while you're

13:22

giving a speech to your

13:24

colleagues. Right. Right.

13:26

Exactly. Right.

13:26

But you're giving the speech.

13:30

And the biology is having a

13:30

reaction based on the hereditary

13:36

genetic information about

13:36

belonging, belonging, and being

13:41

well thought of, if you didn't

13:41

belong, and you weren't well

13:44

thought of, in days gone by till

13:44

you die. Yeah, you die. Today.

13:52

You could be alone and just have

13:52

everything delivered. You're

13:55

fine. Yeah, you can work like

13:55

you're doing right now.

13:58

Completely alone. Yeah. I'm

13:58

still alive. So it's okay alive.

14:03

And it's all working out. So you

14:03

enlightened perspectives or

14:06

perspectives that assume that

14:06

all as well in my book, quiet

14:09

mind epic life. In chapter nine,

14:09

I list out 35 really powerful,

14:15

enlightened perspectives that

14:15

when you take them on, just

14:19

practicing that context, changes

14:19

everything, then the last thing

14:25

is what you do on the fly. So

14:25

let's say you're going to give

14:29

that speech. And now you're

14:29

experiencing the elevated heart

14:32

rate. Well, there's a context

14:32

that you're holding that is

14:36

negatively impacting you. And so

14:36

what you do is you create a new

14:41

context recontextualization that

14:41

empowers you and essentially

14:47

assumes that all as well and the

14:47

moment you develop that skill,

14:51

you're able to skip from break

14:51

down to break down to break down

14:55

to break down to find those

14:55

breakthroughs.

14:58

So you're saying

14:58

The final step is you assume

15:01

that all as well so we are

15:01

running with this, you're giving

15:05

your speech what does that look

15:05

like? I'm giving my speech I'm

15:08

about to give it I'm super

15:08

anxious. I'm really nervous does

15:12

assuming all as well means that

15:12

I changed my physiology I start

15:17

to get excited and amped up for

15:17

it was

15:22

more of a NLP

15:22

approach, which is really

15:26

powerful and positive. I'm I'm a

15:26

huge advocate of NLP for sure.

15:31

Neuro Linguistic Programming for

15:31

our listener, not the new

15:35

version of NLP, which is natural

15:35

language processing,

15:38

because that's

15:38

what I'm familiar with the NLP.

15:40

So what are you talking about

15:40

when you're saying that you

15:42

assume all as well, you're not

15:42

changing your physiology?

15:45

They're correct. And what

15:46

do you figure out

15:46

what your context is? What is it

15:49

that is having my physiology

15:49

react as if I'm in danger. And

15:53

so it might be, I'm afraid that

15:53

I'm going to blow it. And that

15:58

I'm going to be embarrassed. And

15:58

I'm going to be a laughingstock,

16:01

and people aren't going to

16:01

respect me. Let's pretend that

16:04

that's it. So then you step

16:04

back, and you find a different

16:07

context, you say, everyone in

16:07

this room has been in my

16:11

position, and they know how hard

16:11

it is to get up in front of

16:15

everybody, and, and make a

16:15

presentation. And if I blow it,

16:22

then I'm gonna get a lot of

16:22

latitude from people. That's

16:25

number one. But number two, this

16:25

isn't a make it or break it

16:29

situation. And if I blow this,

16:29

and I lose the opportunity that

16:35

this represents, I'm going to

16:35

continue on. I will continue on

16:39

the same way. I've always

16:39

continued on I will find the

16:41

next opportunity, and I will

16:41

move it forward. Would I like

16:44

this opportunity to happen? Yes.

16:44

Is it possible that it won't

16:48

happen? Yes. Will I survive? If

16:48

it doesn't happen? Yeah, I will.

16:54

Well, I like it. No. Is that

16:54

okay? Yes. There are a lot of

16:58

stuff in my life that I don't

16:58

like, and I deal with it. Yeah.

17:01

So I walk myself through a

17:01

basically, I help to create a

17:07

framework that is at least

17:07

neutral. And at best, it is,

17:15

like for something right? It's I

17:15

make it something that I'm

17:18

excited about, but at least

17:18

getting neutral. This, by the

17:22

way, is also addressed in NLP

17:22

this idea. And in NLP, it be

17:27

called reframing.

17:29

Do you teach NLP

17:29

as well? Or is it primarily what

17:32

we're looking at now? Where the

17:32

fourth step is assume all as

17:36

well? Or do you ever have your

17:36

clients combine the two? Can

17:40

that be a powerful method or

17:40

mode? Or is that just not even?

17:43

Really? Oh,

17:44

no, no, no, I

17:44

think actually, where people

17:48

usually find me and seek me out,

17:48

is once they have done all the

17:56

other personal development

17:56

techniques, and they climbed the

18:00

mountain of success, and they

18:00

got to where they wanted to go,

18:04

and they realized they didn't. I

18:04

mean, I have everything, I am

18:09

successful, I am well regarded.

18:09

I'm doing all you know, I have a

18:13

great family, and I have all the

18:13

stuff and blah, blah, and you

18:16

know, and I'm still going into

18:16

moments of anxiety and freak out

18:19

and stress. And I'm still

18:19

wondering if people are going to

18:22

figure out that I'm a fraud, and

18:22

I'm scared that I'm not going to

18:25

be there for my children. Right?

18:25

Like, I still am not controlling

18:30

the negative mentation going on

18:30

in my mind, that's usually when

18:34

they come to me. So they will

18:34

likely have gone to Tony Robbins

18:38

and have that NLP background.

18:38

And, and of course, I would

18:44

applaud them in continuing to

18:44

use all of those tools. And

18:48

those tools won't stop the drunk

18:48

monkey from beating data you

18:52

when you're laying in bed,

18:52

thinking about why you blue that

18:57

last thing and how you're a

18:57

loser and how you're not going

18:59

to get what you want in life.

18:59

Right. And that's what the drunk

19:02

monkey will do. There's no peace

19:02

in the mind. Yeah,

19:05

so you're kind

19:05

of that next step after people

19:08

they reach that point of success

19:08

where I mean, when you have all

19:11

the money when you have the

19:11

beautiful wife when you have all

19:14

the cars, the yachts, the

19:14

islands, whatever it is that

19:16

you've dreamed of, they have all

19:16

those things and then they

19:18

realize, Oh, I'm still

19:18

frustrated, I still get anxious,

19:21

I still get stressed out. That's

19:21

when they seek out Matthew, is

19:24

that right?

19:25

Yeah. And I would

19:25

say you know, it's about 5050

19:28

for me so I have 50% of my

19:28

clients are anywhere from

19:34

successful to intergalactic

19:34

successful anywhere from you

19:40

know the billionaire all the way

19:40

down to the person who's you

19:44

know, doing really well as a

19:44

making a middle income like

19:49

anybody else, right living a

19:49

good life. So there's that's

19:52

that group and then I have a ton

19:52

of young people who basically

19:57

are like, I don't even want to

19:57

like go down that road. Yeah, I

20:01

just want to like find peace,

20:01

live a good life. I don't want

20:03

to live a good life. And

20:03

hopefully it leads to peace

20:07

because it doesn't. And a lot of

20:07

the young people are smart

20:09

enough to see that they look at

20:09

their parents, and they're like,

20:12

my parents have everything, and

20:12

they're still miserable jerks.

20:15

How does that work?

20:16

I mean, that's

20:16

probably pretty common, then. I

20:18

mean, you're saying that a lot

20:18

of young people are smart like

20:21

that? Do you find that actually,

20:21

it's more younger individuals

20:23

realize this? Or do you find

20:23

it's pretty much 5050 older and

20:27

younger?

20:28

Well, no, the

20:28

people who are my age, so I'm

20:31

54. So the people who are my

20:31

age, let's say 40 to 65 year old

20:37

people, they learned the hard

20:37

way. But it's their children who

20:43

are now you know, 18 to 30,

20:43

their children are like, ah, you

20:50

know what, the world does not

20:50

work, the way that you guys said

20:54

it would work. And I want to

20:54

experience peace and joy and

20:58

flow and exuberance and

20:58

enthusiasm. Now, I don't want to

21:02

have to work for 20 or 30 years,

21:02

build up a big stash of cash.

21:07

And then hopefully, I'm going to

21:07

be stoked about that. I want to

21:10

be stoked all the way there,

21:10

which that's just a different

21:13

skill. Happiness is a skill.

21:13

It's not a condition. It's not a

21:18

circumstance. happiness and

21:18

peace are skills that you learn.

21:23

And that's what I do I teach

21:23

people those skills.

21:26

And that's,

21:26

that's an amazing gift. And I

21:28

kind of want to backtrack a

21:28

little bit. When did you realize

21:31

I know, you said, when it all

21:31

started out, you were trying to

21:34

find that peace and fulfillment

21:34

and sex and drugs and rock and

21:39

whatever else there might have

21:39

been, yeah, everything. And you

21:43

realize that that wasn't really

21:43

I mean, you still dealt with

21:46

stress and anxiety, what was

21:46

that point in which you

21:49

realized, you needed to get a

21:49

hold of that you needed to get a

21:54

hold of these emotions, so that

21:54

you could live a peaceful,

21:58

stress free life,

21:59

it was fairly

21:59

progressive, I would say in my

22:02

20s, I began to have some pretty

22:02

deep insights about essentially

22:10

getting my mind under control.

22:10

And I was already very

22:14

successful in my 20s. And it

22:14

wasn't really producing what I

22:17

thought I was hoping that, you

22:17

know, more money would lead to

22:21

more certainty and confidence

22:21

and peace, and it just didn't.

22:26

And so I've just always been

22:26

driven, to figure that out to

22:30

try and understand how to why

22:30

achieve that state of

22:35

enlightenment. Now, that place

22:35

where you're completely and

22:39

totally at peace, and in a state

22:39

of oneness with all that is,

22:44

while still living a great life,

22:44

because most people think, you

22:47

know, if I'm going to be in peace and oneness that I'm clearly I'm going to bail on,

22:49

I'm going to go live in a cave.

22:51

No, you know, like, that's just

22:51

the, that's some weird old model

22:54

has nothing to do with today

22:54

doesn't work. Yeah, I mean,

22:58

enlightenment really, is the

22:58

recognition that the source of

23:00

life for you is the source of

23:00

life, for everyone and

23:04

everything. And when we look at

23:04

science today, science has

23:07

basically said, Alright, we're

23:07

seeing that everything is some

23:13

self created, self organizing

23:13

aspect of the quantum field. And

23:20

I say quantum field, not in a

23:20

scientific way to be like

23:23

undecided at all. But science is

23:23

basically pointing to that we

23:29

see that all of life is some

23:29

kind of self organization. And

23:36

when you begin to connect with

23:36

that idea that life is self

23:40

organizing, it really takes a

23:40

lot of the pressure off. And it

23:46

it answers individually, not

23:46

broadly, individually, the you

23:51

know, biggest questions of life

23:51

for people. It's very powerful.

23:55

What does that

23:55

mean? It's self organizing.

23:58

Well, for

23:58

example, are you beating your

24:00

heart? No. And neither am I, and

24:00

I'm not breathing. I would love

24:07

to take responsibility for all

24:07

of the things that I say because

24:11

I look back at some of the

24:11

things I say like that was

24:13

pretty cool. That was, that was

24:13

a really intense, but over time,

24:18

I've started to realize that I

24:18

am just an expression of what is

24:24

being created. And I would love

24:24

to like for example, while I am

24:30

super fascinated with science, I

24:30

can't get myself to do it. So

24:36

there's aspect of whatever I am

24:36

that is completely out of my

24:41

control. I can influence my

24:41

behavior that's about it. And

24:46

even then, how long can you do

24:46

that for right? Like you set a

24:49

new discipline in place, takes a

24:49

long time to get that discipline

24:52

get the get this organizational

24:52

system to move in that

24:56

direction, then the question

24:56

becomes, who was it I came up

25:01

with a new idea of the new

25:01

discipline? And the answer is,

25:05

you don't know. I don't know,

25:05

you don't know. Nobody knows.

25:09

There's some aspect of nature

25:09

that is random, but random

25:16

inside of a system. And human

25:16

beings are that. And when you

25:20

start to connect with this idea

25:20

that we're all one thing,

25:24

expressing itself with infinite

25:24

variety, it shuts down the mind.

25:30

I mean, I don't know what's

25:30

happening with you right now.

25:33

I'm noticing in our

25:33

conversation, that you are

25:37

becoming more and more centered,

25:37

more, relaxed more. Yeah, like,

25:46

there's like this, whatever that

25:46

is, you, if you're listening to

25:50

Biggie, you can't see I'm

25:50

bringing my fingers together.

25:54

And I'm like Zen state.

25:57

They're both in

25:57

a meditational. State. So Right.

26:00

But you don't

26:00

have to meditation doesn't have

26:02

to be something that you

26:02

intentionally do, though. I love

26:07

doing that. And I teach it and I

26:07

make meditations and all that

26:10

stuff. Meditation is ultimately

26:10

a very connected and aware

26:16

state. And we can get there just

26:16

through our dialogue, just like

26:21

we are right now.

26:22

Yeah, no,

26:22

definitely. So when did you

26:25

first get started coaching other

26:25

individuals in this whole idea

26:30

that you've come to with the

26:30

drunken monkey and how to

26:33

overcome these challenges that

26:33

they have in their lives? Where

26:36

Where did you

26:37

work on this 9190

26:37

We're talking about the drunk

26:40

monkey 1993, I started coaching

26:40

people on the drunk monkey and

26:45

that back then it was in our

26:45

family business. So the family

26:48

business is a real estate

26:48

agency, coaching business where

26:52

we coached real estate agents

26:52

and brokers and taught them

26:56

basically how to sell more

26:56

houses. But I noticed that, like

26:59

if your job is to go knock on

26:59

100 doors a day and ask the

27:04

homeowner when do you plan on

27:04

moving? The possibility of your

27:08

mind getting in there and

27:08

screwing you over? Is it about

27:11

99.9%? Very few people are

27:11

Forrest Gump enough to just

27:18

like, oh, okay, let's go knock

27:18

on the door. Let's go. Hey,

27:21

would you plan on moving right,

27:21

there's, like, I think what

27:25

Forrest Gump represented for me

27:25

in that movie, the metaphor of

27:29

Forrest Gump was a lack of

27:29

thinking. And when you don't

27:33

have all of that extra thinking

27:33

about when they're gonna say,

27:36

and what I'm going to do, and I

27:36

don't want to and it's, my mom

27:39

told me not to ask people

27:39

questions like that, and it

27:41

seems so slimy. And I don't want

27:41

to be a slimy salesperson,

27:43

right? Like the the mentation of

27:43

Pat. Yeah, stop you dead in your

27:48

tracks.

27:49

So you, you

27:49

would say that the removal of

27:53

thinking is where you start to

27:53

find peace.

27:56

1,000%? And how

27:56

do you remove your thinking? I

28:03

would love to say that

28:03

meditation is the answer. And

28:07

I've been meditating since I was

28:07

nine years old. And it didn't

28:12

work long. I mean, you can't

28:12

meditate the Thanksgiving

28:15

dinner. You can't meditate when

28:15

you're going to give a speech to

28:19

your to your group just doesn't

28:19

work. So the I had to figure out

28:24

a different way. And ultimately,

28:24

one of my mentors was a man

28:27

named Dr. David Hawkins. And Dr.

28:27

Hawkins gave me a hint. When I

28:35

was young. And the end, the hint

28:35

was that the goal is to remove

28:41

the motivation behind the

28:41

thinking. And I couldn't figure

28:46

out what that was for a long

28:46

time. But in my investigation, I

28:50

ultimately concluded that the

28:50

motivation of thinking is body

28:54

optimization, essentially, and

28:54

survival. And so then it comes

28:59

down to well, what is the what

28:59

are the contextual frameworks

29:03

that have long term over time

29:03

really worked? Well, greed is

29:10

one of the things that has

29:10

worked phenomenally at keeping

29:13

you alive, keeping the resources

29:13

going, so that you can maintain

29:17

yourself. holding grudges, helps

29:17

you to remember that that thing

29:22

is bad. Hate is phenomenal. Hate

29:22

is this incredible thing where

29:28

you like, you take your grudge,

29:28

you turn it into anger, you take

29:32

your resistance, and you ramp it

29:32

up into anger to create change.

29:38

Phenomenal, amazing. And yet for

29:38

someone like you or me, it would

29:42

tear us apart, literally rip us

29:42

apart because the environment is

29:46

such that that hate doesn't

29:46

work. Hate doesn't work the way

29:51

that we thought it would. It

29:51

destroys us, like we can sustain

29:54

ourselves now. So when I say it

29:54

doesn't work, I don't mean it

29:59

doesn't create change. It does

29:59

create change, but we can

30:01

sustain ourselves now for

30:01

5060 7080 90 years, but if you

30:10

add in hate into your process,

30:10

it is scientifically validated,

30:16

it will reduce the amount of

30:16

time that you're alive. But if

30:19

you look, if you flip it back to

30:19

the times in which hate was

30:25

gonna help sustain you, like

30:25

having hate may have given you

30:29

five 810 years, because

30:29

everything was gonna kill you.

30:35

Now, what about

30:35

having positive motives and

30:37

emotions, like love seeking to

30:37

give more do those add in these

30:42

days? And are those things that

30:42

make the look to implement more

30:45

into your life? Life?

30:47

Yeah, you you could call those enlightened perspectives. They are the

30:49

angelic

30:51

monkey.

30:53

Yeah, well, more

30:53

like inspiration. Okay,

30:56

inspiration. So there are

30:56

definitely two different aspects

31:00

to our consciousness, there is

31:00

that survival aspect of our

31:04

consciousness, which fears that

31:04

there won't be enough and is

31:09

going to manipulate in order to

31:09

get what it wants again. And

31:13

that's a fairly active part of

31:13

our mentation. And then there is

31:17

another part that is a little

31:17

more quiet. And it is much more

31:22

concerned with creation. So that

31:22

creation is also about

31:27

optimization, right? When you're

31:27

creating, you're also

31:30

optimizing. But you know, love

31:30

and joy and giving and

31:36

intentionally working to make

31:36

the world a better place like

31:41

those things on can are

31:41

incredible components of human

31:45

thinking. But they are also

31:45

dramatically diminished by the

31:51

survival components of our

31:51

thinking. It's very hard to be

31:53

inspired when you're pissed off.

31:56

Yeah, it definitely is welcome.

31:58

Welcome to our

31:58

political environment, very hard

32:01

to be inspired when you're

32:01

pissed off. Yeah, welcome

32:03

to our political environment. That's That's exactly right. Now, as we're

32:05

about to wrap up, I think it

32:09

would be a shame if we didn't

32:09

talk a little bit about how you

32:12

mentioned before that once you

32:12

reach this point, we're not

32:14

letting these emotions

32:14

completely control your life

32:16

dictate where you are just

32:16

living a life of stress, you

32:19

reach a point of creativity at

32:19

the end of it, and you're able

32:23

to truly enjoy the beauty of

32:23

life. So I want to talk about

32:29

what are the positive outcomes,

32:29

once you start to implement

32:32

these practices and eliminate

32:32

those stresses in your life.

32:36

First of

32:36

all, you have

32:36

this incredible feeling of peace

32:41

and trust in yourself, in the

32:41

world, in the people around you,

32:46

there is an inner knowing that

32:46

all as well. And that

32:50

everything's going to be okay.

32:50

And that doesn't mean that life

32:53

won't be volatile and whack you

32:53

in the face and knock you off

32:57

all life continues on life is

32:57

volatile, but you become the

33:01

common the storm, you become the

33:01

AI at the center of the of the

33:07

tornado that leads to this

33:07

intense increase in your risk

33:14

taking. So suddenly, you say

33:14

what you wouldn't say before.

33:20

And because you say it, your

33:20

life changes. Because you become

33:24

known for different things.

33:24

People, you make requests that

33:29

you would have made before because you would have been embarrassed or you didn't want

33:30

to make people feel

33:32

uncomfortable. You have these

33:32

inspirations that come through

33:36

you that in your more drunk

33:36

monkey state, you would have

33:41

been terrified to even address

33:41

or take on. But in your no mind,

33:48

state, your state of

33:48

enlightenment. These

33:51

inspirations are understood as

33:51

anomalies coming through you

33:59

that you are essentially

33:59

evolution evolving. And that

34:03

evolution is just this whirling,

34:03

swirling bunch of elements. And

34:09

you are one of those elements

34:09

and you're colliding with all

34:11

these other elements. And

34:11

because you're colliding with

34:14

all these elements, you are then

34:14

creating new variations on the

34:19

theme. And from that

34:19

perspective, your creativity,

34:24

your chutzpah, your

34:24

outrageousness, your courage,

34:27

just go through the roof. Most

34:27

of the people around you.

34:31

They're just gonna say you're

34:31

glowing. I don't get it. What's

34:35

going on with you? Who are you?

34:35

Yeah.

34:39

Where'd you go?

34:39

Completely changes? Yeah, yeah,

34:41

really cool. That is really

34:41

neat. And I appreciate you going

34:45

into that. And I appreciate you

34:45

taking the time to join us

34:48

today. And as we start to wrap

34:48

up, I want to ask you the four

34:51

questions that I like to ask

34:51

every guest at the end of the

34:53

show. So first of all, what's

34:53

something that you would

34:56

challenge the listeners to do to

34:56

make a positive impact in their

34:59

lives?

35:00

My persistent

35:00

challenge to our listeners is to

35:05

do a practice. And this is an

35:05

aspirational practice. So you're

35:08

going to be really bad at it in

35:08

the beginning, but you just keep

35:11

practicing, and then you start

35:11

to get good at it. And that is

35:14

to practice total and complete

35:14

acceptance of yourself, of all

35:19

the people in your life. And the

35:19

situations that you're in

35:23

practice total and complete

35:23

acceptance that will

35:26

fundamentally change the course

35:26

of your life in a way that is

35:31

positive, such that I can't even

35:31

describe how positive it'll be

35:36

so positive that I would sound

35:36

like an exaggerating fool.

35:41

If you tried to explain it, so you got to experience it for yourself,

35:43

right?

35:45

Just Just try it

35:45

put me to the test. I just

35:48

totally complete acceptance.

35:50

But Matthew did

35:50

a test. All right, perfect. What

35:52

is your top book recommendation?

35:54

I would say power

35:54

versus force by Dr. Hawkins is a

35:59

game changer. For me. It's

35:59

probably been one of the most

36:02

influential books of my life.

36:04

Thank you for

36:04

that. And where can people learn

36:06

more about you? They can learn

36:07

about me by going

36:07

to Matthew ferry.com. Or they

36:10

can just follow me in any of the

36:10

social platforms lately. I've

36:13

been doing a tick tock video

36:13

almost every day, a little one

36:17

minute meditation with a

36:17

enlightened perspective.

36:20

Alright, perfect. So tick tock, and wherever else you get your

36:22

social media fix. Thank you for

36:25

that. And what is One fun fact

36:25

about you?

36:28

I had a billboard

36:28

charting song back in 1999 spent

36:36

three weeks on the Billboard

36:36

Club Play charts. I wrote a song

36:41

with my partner Roger Wade and

36:41

producer, DJ named Marcus

36:45

Scholes. And we we wrote a song

36:45

called you won't see me by and

36:49

it was a big, you know, a big

36:49

hit the dance world back then if

36:52

you were dancing to trance music

36:52

at 3am in the morning, you

36:55

probably heard it.

36:56

There you go.

36:56

All right. You were saying that

36:58

as a very cool, fun fact. That's

36:58

one of my favorite questions,

37:01

because then people really get

37:01

to know who the guests are. So

37:04

thank you so much for sharing

37:04

that. And thank you so much for

37:07

taking the time to join us

37:07

today. It's been an honor

37:10

Matthew,

37:10

the honor has

37:10

been mine. Thank you for helping

37:12

me get my message out there and

37:12

I will make sure and share this

37:16

with all my people too. Thank

37:16

you, Matthew.