4:00

for 10 years yeah because I

4:02

see I hear a lot of Australian when you

4:04

talk you do oh I do 426 miss

4:07

Pat natural what's pretty about

4:09

that yeah I don't know it looks like

4:11

a caramel pass oh yeah like caramel yeah

4:14

do anybody ever keep them I think so

4:16

yeah there we go there we go like

4:18

broken tooth yeah these ones aren't that good

4:20

looking a is good no

4:22

a desire okay okay yeah

4:25

great now G is pretty yeah yeah

4:28

G's nice yeah yeah looks like it looks

4:30

like a dick yeah

4:33

anyway I think you're wrong I don't think they look good I

4:36

find them pretty okay you ever seen one

4:38

live yeah I have seen them yeah they

4:41

they're like to have this like a greenish because of

4:43

like the all the bile they have like a greenish

4:46

yellow color what do y'all do with them I

4:48

don't know what they do with them I'm sure they just

4:50

toss them out because it's bio hazardous why

4:52

is it bio hazardous I mean coming from

4:54

your insides right well someone

4:57

may take their sense of sex and clean

4:59

their face with it I know eat

5:01

them yeah my friend ate her placenta

5:04

well where's the placenta at that's

5:07

what the baby to sack the baby's in so when they

5:09

come when the baby come out it's in the sack you

5:11

cut the sack and take the baby out yeah well

5:13

that's tough they say they make soap out of it

5:16

and make up and stuff out of

5:18

it you can pull it up a

5:20

center thing but some people eat it

5:22

because it's healthy I'm not eating

5:24

my inside girl on tick-tock

5:27

collects her period blood and she's

5:29

praised her plants oh my period

5:31

blood and she has like allegedly she's like oh

5:33

I have such a green thumb it's not a

5:35

green thumb I actually just spray all my plants

5:37

with my period blood yeah and the blood and

5:39

the cat plants like it I don't know oh

5:41

yeah yeah I don't know yeah yeah I don't

5:49

leave the plants like it I hate

5:51

people running around it's a natural

5:57

and it is all in the streets man like a fuck

6:01

Come on being a set know.

6:04

You. Gotta be that fucking nets are no

6:06

by was a smear your as that if. You

6:09

think about it from and actually to but I got

6:11

on a plane leaves us with us. It's I guess

6:13

the lining of your and dmitri on land owning at

6:15

all and was i am in through the lower leg

6:17

in a the me through. The

6:22

you're right though I mean I

6:24

have finally like as the me

6:26

that is. The worst part is

6:28

mayor wanted to sit on you

6:30

and draft so mad his army

6:32

is marilyn month sale bad smell

6:34

like dead people than that see

6:36

still swim the and that is

6:38

is at you that I don't

6:40

I never naturally. About bleeding your

6:42

fucking underwear. And will not see

6:44

them with Space Opera rob you were busy. do

6:46

it in the house. On

6:49

your blood? Yes, I have everybody.

6:51

Knows you, fuck him, bleed. Of

6:54

your for a killer because the you know the

6:56

school. I'm saying she was on her period in

6:58

my. Current. Overnight you aider

7:00

your. If it's fresh out the telegraph

7:02

hey was rather is it sitting there all birds

7:05

are thought to made is not a beer. I

7:10

didn't. Edit: It is not a

7:12

only smells that when it's been said and I

7:14

had a liberal I fuckin. Harrys.

7:18

It as a so sensitive. Areas are better

7:20

do a lot I realize good they don't

7:22

have. ah Betsy will swallow bugs, is a

7:25

fucking professor at throat or that some good

7:27

at it as yours. Other heroes smart enjoys

7:29

yeah you bet I bet is that allows

7:32

you sound good. An eye out for over

7:34

a period is so. Fucking Nasa uses unless

7:36

you're forces as far as are you new

7:38

a blood transfusion wanna fuck? Are you succumb

7:40

blood out of a be. On

7:44

a foggy memory such about you are as

7:46

you to I was it a sexual mood

7:49

at all. Give a fuck over what? It

7:52

was your what do I know. Why you eve of

7:54

sticky a dick in a bloody put his small it

7:57

is. He sees this as a rail. And

8:00

you I was. I gonna grit when

8:02

it blew. Up

8:06

in a died as I am I

8:08

gonna know you're damn their bloody put

8:11

on notice allergies are you Are you?

8:15

Is this A says that? Are you

8:17

eating healthier than I? You know. Bloody

8:20

bless. Us as I

8:22

don't know ye They'll say well I want I

8:24

want you to eat healthier. I

8:26

looked as cowboys. You know, do it. I wanted.

8:28

I know. But. What your.because s how many

8:30

people you know who been easy. And

8:32

stay in Green See the whole life is the

8:35

as I can't smoke on nago the promise of

8:37

of a mother fucking face they say us and

8:39

guy blame all my love. Of

8:41

putting I could use that same on the eat a

8:43

T. Barbara of it's wrong to be right that you

8:45

is there Say that you eat too many greasy foods

8:48

Iii They were. It they say it's sad.

8:50

To see. If the and. Stay up

8:52

all call Guess Gallstones aka.

8:55

Of. This as was on them. Now I'm just

8:57

Isis says you're in good gallbladder. Any

9:00

like cats? Yeah my my cousin she was

9:02

twenty one when she had her my daughter

9:04

was a hawthorne is was year to nail

9:06

it is problem you know zone. Details on the

9:08

day of the see them they the most of the

9:10

top. My. Top

9:13

choice you so. You

9:17

said softball to suggest that occasion

9:19

way I accept boss. Says

9:21

box and were so far as far

9:23

as hard as I just pops out

9:26

a talk by I gotta gotta to

9:28

order to get to see I don't

9:30

either I go at the i know

9:32

what she says. It's

9:34

popular, but anyway, arm. Is

9:39

was his. Egg them is.

9:42

So hated hawaii of handy with your tried

9:45

one candid mishap. That means that if you

9:47

ever watch you know what you see play

9:49

like always eat or something when and or

9:51

little note we. Have. Little too small.

9:53

For this is how to smother. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

9:56

Have you played out there yet? Know I

9:58

have Omaha I got boot doing. and

10:01

we canceled. I was supposed to go

10:03

there in Australia and I didn't do either one. Oh 407.

10:06

Aries Spears, the biggest

10:08

issue. Why don't you tell me what

10:10

it is because you said earlier that

10:12

you said you had a problem with

10:14

what the issue was. Tell me what

10:16

the issue was. Okay. Where

10:19

do I begin? I remember one thing, I

10:21

remember one thing you said specifically was yeah I

10:23

never talked to you. You

10:25

said Aries never talked to me. Can I just

10:27

let me get it out? Okay. Right. Let me

10:29

get it out and then let me and it's

10:33

not a lot. Okay. It's like 15,

10:35

no I'm kidding. It's not a lot. It's

10:37

a couple of things. Alright. And

10:39

this is my honest feeling. Okay.

10:43

So when I, like do you remember when I

10:45

was on Mad how terrible I was at table

10:47

reads? That's one of my biggest

10:50

issues. Yes. What do you go

10:52

ahead. Yeah. So when I

10:54

would do table reads, I would be so nervous

10:57

because I'd never done one before and I never

10:59

really acted before. I'd been commercials, but I mean

11:01

there was so much pressure that every time I

11:03

would do a table read, I was fine when

11:05

I was on set. He's also dyslexic. So

11:08

I'd like reading stuff off of papers really,

11:10

really hard for him. So like, but no one knew

11:12

that, right? So I'd be at table reads and I

11:14

wouldn't sleep all night because I would try to memorize

11:16

it. And then once I was there at the network

11:18

thing and I saw all the fucking actors,

11:21

the first couple of years, it

11:23

was rough. And I remember like

11:25

going, Oh fuck, like it's

11:28

so embarrassing. I should have PTSD from

11:30

them. Right. So that, so when

11:32

I first got on there, I was scared.

11:34

Table reads were bad. Um, you

11:37

know, I'll be honest with

11:39

you. I got on it when Alex

11:41

was still there. So you, you, Alex

11:45

and Deborah were going through some sort of

11:47

law thing. It wasn't,

11:49

it didn't get to that point, but you

11:51

guys weren't talking. So there was like

11:53

a civil war going on at mad

11:55

TV between areas And Deborah Wilson.

11:57

Not between us. Me and Deborah was like, no.

12:00

No youngest kid? yeah yeah, together. Read our

12:02

course the right time right? and it was

12:04

because of a cool job with the fingers

12:06

yes where I remember his rights I do

12:08

want to get into that would have as

12:10

but there's calls on the fingers and still

12:13

have him. I had a like oh there's

12:15

some sort of thing going on and then.

12:17

I. Think there was a saying I

12:20

might be wrong between David Salzman,

12:22

the owner of the So As

12:24

Alex as well about merchandise or

12:26

something. So now I'm coming into

12:28

a show. Where. There's a Civil

12:30

War. right? You could seal

12:32

it like whoa, This is we're and then.

12:35

Know. And also I'm terrible. Some people think

12:37

that I'm going on so you know, David Salzman

12:39

and how it's born. Seats to Jews argued all

12:41

the money as to see. Him

12:44

as a guide hollywood merchandise other maximize

12:46

efficiency so on either side come on

12:49

And then that's going on in the

12:51

so much so people don't think I'm

12:53

going to last rites of why would

12:55

anyone need to be nice to me

12:57

right? and also I'm I'm feeling that

12:59

the end of energy guys on his

13:02

feelings we are fucking energy on the

13:04

show right? So then. I mean

13:06

Aires. And. Just. My.

13:08

says. You know I just think that

13:11

you were very stand office. I.

13:13

Like to work a loose because how could

13:15

you will loose right? And then I'm. An

13:18

at A. we didn't even have a

13:20

conversation for a couple years. Like

13:23

two or three years I remember with to

13:26

that outset that say I remember my third

13:28

year. When. I saw you wants

13:30

with a somewhat might the beginning of the

13:32

woods season you said hi to me and my

13:34

third year as I remember going to be

13:36

going Wow! That's. Weird. I think

13:38

you voted in your journal. or the of a i

13:40

had a journal from back then were i wrote

13:42

like eris we're said hi to me to the

13:44

right this is like girth his sister or your

13:47

on a tv show together it's a strange to

13:49

me rights so that's the number one thing and

13:51

the second thing as his arm them to me

13:53

stop there and has alumna dress that listen or

13:55

a mute threats that were you can't write it

13:57

down all three and infrasound that way i see

13:59

part I'm gonna address it. I'm gonna address it.

14:01

I'll address it. I'll address it.

14:03

I'll address it. All right. Here

14:06

was my issue with you from Gate. And

14:09

later on you revealed to us more

14:11

so that you had substance abuse problems,

14:13

right? Mm-hmm. Okay.

14:16

One, I didn't know that. Had I known that, I

14:18

would have taken that into account. That

14:20

being said, here was my problem.

14:23

You know, if you remember,

14:25

we had, you could count all the black

14:27

writers on Mad TV on Three

14:29

Fingers. We had three black

14:31

writers. Yeah. So yes,

14:33

other writers would write for us,

14:36

meaning me and Deborah, the black

14:38

folks, but really the people

14:40

that were assigned to us and

14:42

to me specifically was Devon Shepherd.

14:45

And when he was in his man, Xavier,

14:48

Xavier Cook. I love those two guys. But Devon

14:51

was my main guy. If he was like my

14:53

Giorgio Armani, if I needed a suit, he knew

14:55

my measurements. Yeah, yeah. Comedically we were like

14:57

that. Yeah. And I'm saying that to

14:59

say, we know that this business

15:01

is political. We know that it's

15:03

racist. And a lot of

15:05

times Devon and I would have to fight

15:08

for sketch time. Everybody's fighting for

15:10

sketch time. But really as a

15:13

black person, you're really fighting. Because we could

15:15

sit there and read a whole table, read

15:17

the sketches, and you might be

15:20

lucky some weeks if you're in one. There

15:22

would be times when you'd be in none. And

15:25

so you're fighting for sketch time. And

15:28

the concern was because

15:30

you were maybe dyslexic. You had

15:33

your substance abuse, problems. I'm

15:35

not dyslexic. I don't know why you're putting that out there. Are

15:37

you kidding me? Come on, dude. Give me a

15:39

book right now. I can read the whole thing in front of you. Okay.

15:42

I'm going with her. Right now she's 3 and

15:44

0. Give me a book right now. She told you

15:46

you didn't have a Fice and you thought you had

15:48

Iice. Okay, go just... She

15:51

hooked us up. Talk about later. Go ahead.

15:54

I said you were illiterate. I said you

15:56

were dyslexic. You would flip things around and

15:58

when under the pressure you mix... things

16:00

up. Let me say this because of the

16:02

dyslexia because of the substance abuse which I

16:05

get I don't have dyslexia. It helps your

16:07

case. You're

16:11

so unaware. Most men are but

16:14

it's special. Anyway

16:17

so and the fact that again naps are

16:19

awesome. I'm about to prove your point. Bobby

16:23

let me talk to her for a

16:25

minute because Bobby wasn't great at reading

16:27

at the table read he would often

16:29

tank sketches not on purpose but because

16:32

he was so awful it without

16:34

looking at each other we would know

16:36

like telepathy well that's a sketch

16:38

I'm not gonna be in that's not gonna get

16:41

picked. Nigga you once pronounced opinion Buick. It

16:45

was in the script the word opinion this

16:48

nigga said Buick. So

16:50

my thing was my thing

16:54

was for a long time

16:56

it was a respect thing not

16:59

that I didn't respect him but I

17:01

was just like god damn it and

17:03

so but prior to

17:05

you I'm listen I'm working with Deborah,

17:07

Moe, Michael, Will,

17:10

Alex, Phil, Nicole,

17:12

heavyweights. Everybody's bringing the

17:15

Thunder comedically. We know we are a

17:17

well we are

17:19

the Lakers when Pat Riley

17:22

was winning championship. But

17:24

on game day every

17:26

sketch I did. We're not talking about practice.

17:30

Let me ask you something. On

17:32

game day I brought it. If

17:35

I didn't bring it on game day I

17:37

would have been fired. But Michael Jordan brings

17:39

it just as hard in practice as he

17:42

can. Alright I'm Michael Jordan. No not me.

17:45

Okay okay. My

17:47

point is is that how do you

17:50

think I lasted? Bobby you

17:52

let me get to it. Okay go ahead. So to answer your

17:54

question yes for three years I was a

17:56

looft towards you because I was just going...

18:00

That way to medic I don't see take

18:02

some up a paternal I'm going to everybody

18:04

else. Is. Pulling their weight and

18:06

showing their mettle. So.

18:08

Yes, he's on the team and

18:10

and so he shows me his

18:12

mental state Police always via download.

18:14

Skeptical that or snap. Now now

18:16

was that the best thing to

18:18

do? Could I have handled that

18:20

better? Of. Course. But.

18:22

You gotta remember how old I am.

18:25

I'm young. I'm. You don't say

18:27

it around, Learn and I'm a little weapon

18:29

nine years. but I'm also and amazon to

18:31

be cocky but. Would it make. Nice

18:34

with I've been doing it's it's not Sports is

18:36

just. So. Let me say such as

18:38

the first they become a maybe lived a robot

18:40

organize but. I. Remember as season

18:43

three, what's it going to sit on the

18:45

floor? enjoy dressing room as we as the

18:47

comedy enough to. Address:

18:52

Sitting. On your fly.that's

18:54

just my way. So yeah, that's

18:56

why we think of the seven.

19:00

Samurai smart people in due to don't

19:02

mix I just look at look at

19:04

Nc besides good as this lawsuit it

19:06

off as to why people sit don't

19:08

do. It

19:14

was this my point where I live. results

19:16

they would do. I know, I know, I

19:18

know. In retrospect, I know. I. I don't

19:20

know the Edward way ahead. Of

19:23

the earner bought by my sword fight, but

19:25

you're either of you. Were there about semi

19:27

sort of one season. I started silicon

19:29

and Hillary as I didn't get nervous as

19:31

huge as Edu. when I'm nervous i can't

19:33

read and I'm not known as I little

19:35

and started shooting on. a flaw was finally

19:37

started making me go. I'd. Be.

19:40

Yeah, Okay, I accept that.

19:43

He. Is a second set of. What?

19:45

Does more of that parts? Gloss that A by at one

19:47

point? Okay, that's one point or I'm. Just

19:50

wants. To wrap up that that's not

19:52

what I have to other thing. So yes

19:54

so that's rough up your respect he looks

19:56

aren't it. Yet. Your disc. or

19:58

your rights as the in rest You're right,

20:00

but you know you would think that

20:03

after the second year. You'd be like well He's

20:05

you still had training wheels on man Okay,

20:08

you know what you wouldn't you kind

20:10

of? like understand

20:12

where Aries is coming from because you

20:16

Feel as though younger comics really need to earn their

20:18

shit these days And you feel a lot of resentment

20:20

when you see younger people sort of just make

20:22

their way to certain things and you're like

20:24

Oh, I didn't know like you feel very I don't

20:27

know what you're doing. I don't

20:29

know what size you're on your

20:31

Sith Lord. There's a yo yo

20:33

You're fucking mama whatever fucking name

20:35

is this this is the Sith

20:38

Lord fucking side, man I

20:40

your mom. Oh the sizzler. I tried to defend you

20:42

and say you are not like sick I said you

20:44

were just like I'm not I'm not like

20:46

but picture behind Bobby right there He

20:49

would be laying like that in the dressing room

20:51

on lunch break. Yeah Why

20:54

is that weird I don't

20:56

do it anymore dude since then I've been on network

20:58

shows all movies Do you think I don't act like

21:00

that anymore because I realize it's not a good thing

21:02

so we put you at your worst Yeah,

21:05

you saw you know it's like a caterpillar If

21:09

you saw a retarded cat like I say the I

21:11

mean a deformed caterpillar right Sorry,

21:14

I don't know what it out there now I

21:16

don't know if a catapult has you know,

21:18

I mean the little down but right anyway

21:21

if you see like a weird caterpillar Right

21:23

sometimes that kind of a blossoms into something

21:25

else You know and not so

21:27

you know me our word fucking butterfly For

21:30

19 are you garbage podcasts? Have you

21:32

done math? Wait, I have a question

21:35

for you. We are Just

21:37

because I was like a massive fan girl of

21:39

this show. Is it true that you? Won't

21:42

to either audition or be part of

21:44

Dawson's Creek in

21:47

1995 and

21:49

the last thing I did in college was I had

21:52

a like a theater class and The guy

21:54

that taught it was really cool and liked me and

21:57

he said, you know when this

21:59

unravels which I can tell that it is. There's

22:02

a repertory theater in the area that you

22:04

should audition to see if you can go

22:06

study there. And I did, and

22:08

my roommate at the time went to

22:11

Chapel Hill, and he's like, man,

22:13

there's a real scene down there in

22:15

Wilmington, North Carolina. So we're filming Dawson's Creek

22:18

down there. Instead of moving

22:20

to New York or LA after graduating,

22:23

He moved to fucking North Carolina. Moving to

22:25

North Carolina. He makes it in show business.

22:27

You have one show. If they

22:29

say no. And

22:32

also, I didn't know that I didn't understand the

22:34

process that just because they film it in North

22:36

Carolina doesn't mean they cat-pass it. He

22:38

was just going to show up and knock on the door. Yeah,

22:40

I'm here. I'm here, guys. What

22:43

came of that? Nothing. And

22:45

an eight-month addiction to crack cocaine and

22:47

planting palm trees on the beach in

22:49

the burning North Carolina. Wait, what?

22:52

I thought it was a really good one. Really?

22:55

Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're supposed to

22:57

crack. Yeah. What? Yeah,

23:01

that's like the opposite of what

23:03

to do, I think. Because any

23:05

actors struggling, don't do that.

23:07

Yeah. I did. Obviously,

23:09

I did blow. And down there, that's what they

23:11

did. There was a

23:13

version of freebasing or make

23:15

it look like crack to me. Yeah. You know what I

23:18

mean? It was crack. Does

23:20

that feel good? That's awesome. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's all

23:22

right. I could only admit. You didn't crack? I never

23:24

did crack, really. No. Just meth? Meth,

23:26

yeah. Yeah. Have you done crack? What?

23:28

No. That's it. Don't

23:30

bust. You should have had a P.I. at Caviar

23:33

in your hand when you slowly turned your chair.

23:35

Now you, no pimples. You

23:38

overhand. You've done late types. I tell you. I'm sorry.

23:40

You don't like movies or crack. It's true what my

23:42

mom says about you guys. Yeah. I can't see you.

23:44

You don't like crack, do you? You don't like movies.

23:47

You don't like crack. I knew something about it. Don't

23:51

think about it. But that's like every week here, I'm

23:53

starting to feel like the minority because everyone

23:55

has done crack, meth, cocaine, and I've never

23:57

done any of that. No,

24:00

you're not a nerd likes an IPA. I'll tell

24:02

you that Why

24:04

would they call it out? You

24:07

like beer. I yeah, I'll go from a large

24:10

drinking fat. That's great. That's right. That's great And

24:12

you know that's wild too. Yeah, it's pretty

24:14

pretty crazy Crazy stuff like George

24:17

ask him if he's done crack have you done crack. He's

24:19

on crack right now You

24:21

never done crack You

24:23

smoke cocaine okay? Yeah in the family in the

24:25

family of it. Yeah. Yeah Was it it was

24:28

it in powder form or is it was it

24:30

in a rock form? Yeah, you did

24:32

rock yeah Yeah, and then what after

24:35

eight months of doing that and planting palm

24:37

trees Yeah, I just I was working as a

24:39

landscaper and working in the kitchen Oh, I thought that was just something

24:41

that you don't think I was on Alright

24:48

so you had a job doing that oh

24:51

yeah, oh yeah, I was living in like

24:53

a shitty apartment complex And

24:56

working at a restaurant at a seafood restaurant

24:58

and Working during the week as

25:00

a landscaper which was brutal Wow yeah Wow,

25:03

but you still kept your job No, or did the

25:05

crack in the way no crack never got in the

25:07

way Yeah, it could be like a functional crack addict

25:09

what though yeah, I mean I wouldn't say I was

25:11

a cracked addict I enjoyed crack cocaine I Mean

25:16

the PR spin it Great

25:22

I was doing I was experimenting with drugs. Let's

25:24

put it that way yeah, and did you abruptly

25:26

quit after that? I mean what happened Yeah,

25:29

I mean there was a I was I realized that what

25:31

the fuck are you doing down here? My

25:34

brother was just moving to New York after graduating

25:37

school And

25:40

he was up there for maybe like a year and

25:42

he's like get out of there come up You

25:44

can come up and stay with me. Oh Then

25:47

I ended up becoming Cocaine

25:50

in New York they have it there too yeah, and then

25:52

yeah, then moved home and started comedy Oh, you guys didn't

25:54

know each other at this time. No we met out. He

25:57

was in high school. I think yeah Oh,

25:59

you're much older 47 47 and how are

26:01

you 37? Oh, so 10 years. Yeah.

26:03

Why don't don't count as I was 32 and 395

26:08

Ronnie Chang you tell me Asian friends you have

26:12

10 name one John Choe name one John Choe

26:14

is your friend John Choe is my friend.

26:16

I'm gonna message him right We

26:19

talked about higher than kuma John Cho. Yeah, I was in

26:21

here How are you both

26:23

texts and who responds? I Only

26:30

know him on Instagram. Oh

26:32

my god. So John Cho Steven, you

26:34

know, how about

26:36

one non-korean? Oh You

26:40

want to go there named walk with Fina Ali

26:48

Wong Ali Oh Yeah,

26:52

yeah my shirt my Muslim friend Ali

26:59

Yeah, Ali Wong see burn his half

27:02

Ken Jeong I'm making gravel it off. Yeah, you're

27:04

riling off Koreans You keep doing a lot of

27:06

Korea. Yeah, Michelle Yau. Congratulations Oscar your friends with

27:08

Michelle. Yeah, I did one movie with her She

27:12

does Hate

27:15

you she hates me if you just probably does

27:17

I'm not in her or that okay, and also

27:19

Jamie Lee Curtis congratulations I

27:22

know but I didn't move with those of that. They did they

27:24

do what they want man It

27:26

sounds like you really biased man.

27:28

You either like Koreans or

27:30

famous people What

27:33

about normal Asians? You know, oh yeah, because if I

27:35

named them you won't know them but this

27:37

is name one Frank Frank what what? Oh, that's

27:39

let's know I

27:55

Just threw me in a corner listen,

27:57

I know a lot of Asians man, you know

28:00

I love I love from ladies man. Yeah,

28:02

I you know dad fan Dragon

28:07

kick him in the chest. No, he kicked me in the

28:09

face. Okay. Well, you know what friends you're not friends

28:11

He kicked you in the face. He tried to get younger

28:13

when we were younger. That doesn't sound like friends Okay,

28:16

I know but it's uh, you know, we know

28:18

each other Southeast Asian and you guys are Yeah,

28:21

it doesn't sound good. So Wow, he's been super, you

28:23

know, Bob every time I've met up with Bobby I've spoken

28:25

to him He's always been super nice to me and

28:27

I hear these stories about him having fighting literally

28:29

having kung fu fights over there Yeah,

28:34

someone try to kick you in the face I've been beat up a

28:36

lot but my point is by

28:38

like half the people on that poster But

28:41

I've but here's the thing dude, I'm a

28:43

survivor Yeah, I mean

28:45

and I also don't like I don't take

28:48

shit. Okay, and I'm you know, I'm confrontational

28:51

Really, but I fight for my I fight for

28:53

my stage time for 10 Gabriel Iglesias So

28:55

you do tour bosses mainly? Yes

28:58

So I'll take a fly Yeah We'll fly private

29:00

to the to the location where the buses and

29:02

then the bus picks us up Drives us to

29:04

the few locations that we need to go to

29:06

and then on the last day The plane is

29:08

waiting for us and then flies us home Well

29:10

because me and Andrew I've been doing a tour

29:12

boss and they told me not to poo. Oh

29:16

That is number one rule So yeah, if you got to

29:18

go number two, but I poo if you go number two,

29:20

you gotta you either gotta Tell

29:22

the bus driver to pull over so you can go

29:24

yeah to or do a thing called a hot bagging

29:29

When you're on the bus or an RV

29:31

or whatever and there's the toilet and

29:34

if you gotta go number two you got to get a

29:36

plastic bag like from the grocery store and you got to

29:38

basically line the toilet and I'll

29:40

take it with you you yeah So you go in the

29:42

bag and then you you know tie it like like a

29:44

little potty bag for a dog Yeah, and then

29:46

take it out take it off the bike Four in

29:48

the morning I was because you know, I give Andrew

29:51

the the back Right.

29:53

I was on the side. I Woke

29:55

up six four in the morning. We're in Montana.

29:58

So I'm driving somewhere, right? And

30:00

I had the urge mm-hmm But

30:03

it was a 10-second window There

30:06

was there was no there was no there

30:08

was no going to the no driver. There

30:10

was nothing I had to make a decision

30:13

and the decision was to poo yeah

30:15

without the bag I get it yeah, and I get

30:17

it a raw dog the toilet. I rock Yeah,

30:21

yeah, and it got pregnant Little

30:24

tiger belly yeah Right,

30:26

but then I thought is this gonna

30:29

be fine. I went back and I

30:32

could smell it from my so they were right

30:35

They were right you shouldn't do it so that

30:37

is that is the rule especially when when

30:39

leasing and if there's only one One

30:42

one toilet yeah That

30:45

that was for me my biggest flex I was having

30:47

a conversation with Bert Kreischer and and we're

30:49

having this talking about you can't go number two I

30:51

said I go number two all the time and they're

30:53

like how yeah Well, there's two bathrooms,

30:55

and I own the bus, so I do what

30:57

I want I go that's my flex as

30:59

I go and matter of fact I refuse to use the

31:01

gas you bought your own bus I bought my own bus

31:03

oh And my

31:05

toilet in the back. It's not like a

31:08

regular like an RV toilet with a little

31:10

you know the cover that opens Yeah, it's

31:12

a legit flushing toilet. There's like an actual

31:14

there's plumbing. Yeah. Oh yeah, so

31:17

you do it Oh, yeah, just do people on

31:19

who's on the pan and because it's a real

31:21

toilet and real plumbing Smell anything whoa its own

31:23

separate. You know tank yeah, whereas the one in

31:26

the front Yeah, that's still RV status, but the

31:28

one in the back. That's mine So it's like

31:30

it's a toilet shower sink and then closet if

31:32

I was on the bus with you as I

31:34

was on the side Oh nobody who gets to

31:36

use it though, so if you would have been

31:38

like dude Well cuz it's mine

31:40

in the back I just yours yeah, but in an

31:42

emergency situation if I'm in the fucking bus, and

31:45

I wake you up I knock on the door. I

31:47

go hey yo gave it's I have a 15 second

31:49

window of opportunity here Can I use your

31:51

thing you would still say no I would

31:54

tell you to just go ahead and use the one in the front What

31:57

that's betrayal no no because you would tell me and

31:59

then I'm not I gotta make a choice cuz I

32:01

don't know how bad you're gonna bring it I

32:03

don't know if it's I don't know if it's

32:05

just gonna be like a little little you know

32:08

A little cylinder or if you're gonna bring freaking

32:10

lava. I don't know what level yeah. Yeah, if

32:12

I tell you the level But

32:14

do you really know I do though wait, I know my

32:16

body do you know I thought I did I

32:20

recently found out. I don't know me as well as I

32:23

It's a 15-second window. It's gonna be

32:25

green apple splatters There's

32:27

nothing like if what

32:30

you were her fruit It's

32:37

not gonna be great like it's I think you're right

32:39

I think you would just go straight don't even wake me up

32:42

and then later on go by the way Gabe Sorry,

32:45

oh yeah, that's what I would do. Yeah, are there other

32:47

people on the bus with you. There's two buses Ah

32:54

It shouldn't be this many this time at one point we

32:56

had five Whoa, and so now

32:58

it's just it's just the one yeah 397 logic

33:02

Manifesting manifestation is a real thing dude like

33:04

I think about how many is it things

33:06

if I did I believe that you Is

33:09

it no no no listen? I believe the two

33:11

I really did I believe the two you believed

33:13

it I believed it okay, but then

33:15

it's like two things will happen your life that you

33:17

didn't manifest Right

33:19

so the last you know that's how my mom's things are

33:22

happening that I didn't manifest I remember I didn't miss

33:24

you it you know me it wasn't a part of my thing I'm

33:26

in a positive way in a negative way and I wrote

33:28

something about manifesting but keep going okay So

33:31

whenever like something really bad happens that

33:33

I didn't manifest I'm like all manifestation

33:35

doesn't work, but usually I think I

33:37

believe everything that I have is through

33:39

manifestation Okay,

33:43

I have just I'm just gonna

33:45

push back on manifest And we're gonna have

33:47

to fight against her just fight me fight me on okay, but

33:50

basically like I read this cuz I

33:52

I kind of feel similarly where Like

33:56

they're I'm like this happened

33:58

to me I swear in my

34:00

heart like it's because I thought it,

34:03

I believed it, and now it's happening,

34:05

right? But this is

34:07

what I read about manifesting. It

34:09

says basically, it's

34:12

all about privilege, luck and timing.

34:14

Like it's by all means

34:17

think positively, believe in yourself, follow

34:19

your dreams, work hard because a positive

34:21

attitude and optimistic outlook will never be a bad

34:24

choice and will only ever serve you well in

34:26

your life and your relationships. But it

34:33

kind of really is like a

34:36

false reality to suit us during

34:38

difficult times because manifesting things and

34:41

I want you to think of the family whose daughter

34:43

was killed tonight. Imagine

34:47

saying that to them. I want you to

34:49

think of people whose family members have been

34:51

diagnosed with cancer and tell them they didn't

34:53

think positively enough and that's why this is

34:56

happening. I don't believe in that though. I don't

34:58

believe that. Yeah. And so

35:00

we can't control a huge portion of

35:02

life. My friend Robert's got a fire

35:04

argument. I don't know. Bad things can

35:06

happen to good people. Good things happen to

35:09

bad people. Life happens. People can

35:11

work their whole lives with passion and

35:13

integrity and still never make it to

35:15

where they want to. I agree. And

35:19

it's so I, there

35:22

are parts of manifestation that I think

35:24

like are true. If you think positively

35:26

and you direct your mind in that

35:28

direction, clearly it's things are

35:30

bound to happen for you. But it's

35:32

the same thought of God. If you look at a school

35:37

shooting for instance, you think to

35:39

yourself, there's no way there's a God. Why would that

35:42

happen? There's no lessons to be taught. That's

35:44

a fucking terrible thing. But it's like, I

35:47

still believe it in God. I feel

35:50

it. It's a feeling and I see it

35:52

working in my life. It's like,

35:56

you know, life happens. I mean, when Christians go,

35:59

I'm not a Christian. Christian but they're like you know

36:01

I mean well you know you know

36:03

there's a reason why that happened we don't know the

36:05

gods missed if there's a mystery I don't know those

36:07

things there's a million mysteries in life

36:09

I'll never figure out right but it's a

36:11

feeling go ahead Robert I

36:14

want him to defend you government

36:17

we're Bobby come on okay oh

36:21

the weird sweat all right anyway

36:24

by the way I'm not disagreeing with the

36:26

idea of manifestation I just think that like

36:28

sometimes like you know like I grew up

36:30

in a third-world country and there's certain things

36:32

that I've seen I'm like people work hard

36:35

here they do all of the right things

36:37

they are good pious people who like really

36:39

have this like faith in their life that

36:41

things are gonna get better and then I'm

36:43

gonna talk

36:46

for a second but let me just

36:49

say something yeah right it is that

36:51

like I know the kind of upbringing

36:53

you've had right okay violent

36:55

painful but you in the you guys

36:58

came to America right yeah and you

37:00

guys had no money right and you

37:02

got my fist by my family doctor

37:04

okay you don't have to see the first part

37:07

right okay that's deep yeah we did a really

37:09

well so far it went for it no I'm

37:11

kidding you

37:14

kind of lobbed it up thanks for that love but

37:16

my point is that but so

37:18

you've had a right but can I say something when

37:20

I first met you I went

37:22

before even contact you on tinder with women

37:25

on tinder fire I went

37:27

back I went back into your like

37:29

account right and you were always doing

37:31

sketches and you were just going like

37:33

trying to DJ you know me wait

37:37

you just get caught up

37:40

you got the popcorn you would do soon seen with

37:42

guard all where you do is what once you were

37:44

doing with the church gets comedy yeah

37:48

I know I saw another thing where you

37:50

and you had bought a like I got

37:52

a bottle like a DJ right and you

37:54

guys it's

37:57

a fact so you've always wanted to something clear

38:00

I think you were a dreamer. Well. Go

38:02

ahead. Go ahead.

38:04

Go ahead. Go ahead. Be a

38:06

dreamer. But to your point, when I was

38:08

this. You manifested it. Let's go to film.

38:11

When I was in the thick of

38:14

my family dysfunction, when I was getting

38:16

my ass beat regularly, when I was

38:18

being diddled by uncles who weren't supposed

38:20

to diddle me, I remember just completely

38:22

dissociating and there's this area in my

38:25

city called Fuente Osmania. That's where all

38:27

the billboards were. And I remember just

38:29

looking at one, it was a guest

38:31

billboard. And I remember thinking

38:33

like, I'm going to be something.

38:36

I'm going to get the fuck out of here.

38:38

I'm going to be something. I'm going to be

38:40

something. So yes, I do believe that, you

38:42

know, you can't obviously

38:44

just manifest things into existence, but you can believe

38:46

it hard enough that your body just naturally moves

38:48

in the way to get you there. That's

38:51

what we mean. Right? But it

38:53

doesn't happen for everybody. There's a reason. There

38:56

we go, dog. Go get it. Get

38:58

it. So manifestation, what I believe is

39:01

with persistence, determination, realism and wanting success

39:03

more than your next breath, a person

39:05

can literally attain anything. I believe this.

39:08

I'm a person who's come from

39:10

absolutely nothing poverty. My house

39:12

was a third world country. That's like what it

39:14

was like where I lived. You know what I

39:16

mean? I ain't saying it's that deep, but I'm

39:19

saying like hunger, no money, nothing, pain, devastation, nothing.

39:22

I had nothing. We had nothing. Get

39:24

her, get her. No, I'm not. I'm not trying

39:26

to get her. Why are you getting her so

39:28

hard right now? No, no. What

39:30

I'm saying is there's another part of this.

39:32

So for years I would always go persistence,

39:35

determination, realism, because I never was like, oh,

39:37

I want to be a rapper, y'all boats

39:39

and bitches and hoes. And

39:42

I never thought that I was like, you know what? This

39:45

is a very big space. And Alan

39:47

Watts said anything you can be interested in, you

39:50

will find others who are. And

39:52

I look, I look man. You're right. No,

39:55

I'm saying like, you look good. We

39:57

don't. I'm black, but I look white. There

42:00

are people who focus on it. They

42:02

focus on being broke They focus on

42:04

the negative aspects of their life because

42:06

I was one of those people I've

42:08

done it and I've lived in the

42:10

negativity and just watched it consume me

42:12

and nothing was happening and I was

42:14

blaming Everything wrong in my life on

42:16

somebody else or because of this and

42:18

if only and when I stopped doing

42:20

that When I stopped comparing myself

42:22

to others and when I stopped Manifesting

42:25

negative energy and I focused on the positive

42:27

that was in my life I saw a

42:29

complete and utter change. I think there is

42:31

a difference between Manifesting the

42:34

lives that we always dreamed

42:36

of ie yourself and entertainment cuz

42:38

you're snapping girl get it Thank you,

42:40

and then a little boy dying

42:43

of leukemia. I do think that there's there's

42:45

a difference there And I think

42:47

some things happen and we can't

42:49

explain them and very much so like me

42:51

coming up and making it out of my

42:53

situation I can't explain

42:55

it and I don't need to explain it

42:57

It is what it is whether it's beautiful

43:00

or whether it's heart-wrenching and sucks, but

43:02

we got to keep it pushing We rest our

43:04

case. I don't know about that Cuz

43:06

I'm not not sure a loop

43:08

with you Case

43:11

verdict. So I just think

43:13

there's the language. I think manifestation is real 390 Daniel

43:15

day Kim Bobby

43:17

Lee is the sidekick, you know, I think that

43:20

You know, I was in LA in the 90s

43:23

and I didn't see people that look like me doing it And

43:26

then you know, I mean it started opening it up

43:28

and you when you were one of those guys where

43:30

I saw was It when it was opening up. Mm-hmm,

43:32

right? You think he looks like you You

43:36

looked on TV and said that guy looks like

43:38

me I can make it what was the thought

43:40

process See

43:42

what I'm saying though This is the

43:44

attack. There's no and this is the way you guys do

43:46

it, right? This is how you hurt me There's no I

43:49

never fucking said I never fucking

43:51

said be me and Daniel D Kim are

43:53

going off for the fucking same shit, man

43:55

All right, obviously on the sidekick. Yeah, obviously,

43:57

I'm the neighbor I'm

44:00

the guy that gets the stuff, you know me on the

44:02

show whatever you know me but of course use the lead

44:04

right But you have to do that right now All

44:07

right, my bad. My bad. I

44:10

just like watching it 422

44:15

Angela white Bob against counted. Anyway, what do you

44:17

want to do? Whatever you want captain? Just

44:21

get that you need your spokes

44:23

counted Yes That's

44:26

what you do. I'll do it. You figure out

44:28

how many spokes are on my butthole every day

44:31

right now. All right, right We're

44:33

gonna count his spokes Angela. All right, hang on Pump

44:38

pump hold pump It's

44:49

probably because you have ridges it's getting stuck

44:52

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can hear your mind

44:55

Fred wider, please Bobby face

44:57

me face me. You'll probably get some boat. Oh

45:07

Really it's good you wipe that's great count

45:10

it. Is there nowhere

45:12

to start counting? Let me let

45:14

me let me let me let you He's

45:19

gonna want to redo Bro

45:26

why is there a check? Did

45:35

he delete it he put it in his pocket

45:37

oh he did he yeah, I'm pretty sure he

45:39

took it He is pretty self. It's for someone that takes

45:42

his pants off a lot. He is self-conscious about the inside

45:44

of his butt Well, the last time Stella

45:46

Barry was on this show the same thing

45:48

happened. He had toilet paper stuck in there

45:50

What a baby wipe. Um,

45:52

I I don't know. I think it's a nostalgia

45:56

thing because Like

45:59

the day He does we have a

46:01

really nice he has a really nice bidet to it's

46:03

the one that says hello Like when you walk in

46:05

it says goodbye when you walk out for the toilet

46:07

paper then I think it's just a hobby I couldn't

46:10

really tell you because he does like he sits over

46:12

the bidet For 30 minutes and

46:14

it just blasts water up his heart and

46:17

he just sits there and he just enjoys himself

46:20

Yeah, um, but he does not like but

46:22

play like at all But I

46:24

don't know if he actually does but just

46:26

doesn't want it performed by a partner because

46:28

I know to some degree He enjoys the

46:31

water pressure. Yeah, right. Yeah.

46:33

Oh That

46:36

was it really quick clean. Let's do a

46:38

redo Now that there's

46:40

no more Yeah,

46:42

I was just wondering why you don't like baby

46:44

wipe or use a bidet I have

46:47

those don't yeah, we know I know

46:49

okay Angela. Let me let quick

46:52

pro quo. Yeah, come on quickly Hold up shut up

46:54

for a sec Get

46:56

in the water Because I'll tell you

46:58

why today for some reason or another I never

47:01

thought that I would take a photo of my

47:03

butthole Oh, that's your first mistake

47:08

And to say you're right it wasn't right,

47:11

but you know your your butthole

47:13

is a business Your

47:18

butthole is a business what is your you have

47:20

to mind is not mine's out in retirement Okay,

47:22

right. So it's like it's an old fishing butthole.

47:25

Oh, yeah by the leg You know, I mean

47:27

he's relaxing. I used yeah, you're right and it's

47:29

like, you know catching the fish You know, I

47:31

mean, you know relaxing. So you want

47:33

to take another photo of my butthole? Yeah, I'm just cleaning

47:35

Yeah But if I was like say I retired

47:38

and I was gonna hang out with like my

47:40

old like butthole friends like my butthole fucking friends

47:42

Yeah, even if I was retired I'd be like

47:44

just for old time say I'm gonna make sure

47:46

you know The buttholes like oh,

47:49

so when you're 80 years old and just

47:52

in case you just never know Also, you're

47:54

in your 80 your your butthole is gonna be

47:56

like tissue-free gonna be ready. Yeah, just in case

47:59

preparation man Do you like butthole

48:01

work? I do like butthole. I do a lot of

48:03

butthole work Whoa,

48:05

that's a bold statement. Yeah, that's insane.

48:07

That's crazy. My butthole is big business. Oh Whoa

48:10

corporate. Yeah, it's corporate. Yeah, does

48:13

it hurt? No, it's not if you do

48:15

it, right? What happened to all

48:17

the good old vagina? Oh, yeah, it's

48:19

great. You like that too? I love that. What do you prefer? I

48:21

prefer veg Have you ever

48:23

had food poisoning while you're doing it?

48:27

Wait, didn't you rupture your

48:29

appendix during a scene? Yeah, no

48:40

If I could do the other day I have more room

48:42

because my appendix is gone So there's more

48:44

room big dicks to yeah go in

48:47

but I mean when you're working and you let's see

48:49

you had a burrito And oh

48:51

well, I don't have a breeder Well,

48:53

I really want to get to the bottom of

48:55

this because I want to do this right. Yeah

48:58

for myself Go ahead. I'm somebody that hasn't necessarily

49:00

like enjoyed anal. So I've just avoided it But

49:03

like we've had it and one

49:06

time. Yeah, and you

49:08

didn't love it hate it. Yeah, he hated it

49:11

Oh, yeah. What about it? Well,

49:13

I'm just very just traditional. I I

49:17

Even I've never watched anal porn. Okay.

49:19

Yeah, it's always been like forbidden but

49:22

hole you love the butthole but you don't like No

49:27

Listen, I love trees. I don't want to fuck it, you know You

49:31

know what that tracks I would think about it. You know, I

49:33

mean, I love many things I don't want

49:35

to penetrate, you know, do you like doggy style in

49:37

the pussy? So then you can look at the butthole?

49:39

Is that kind of? Do

49:41

you look at the butthole when you do doggy? I do a

49:43

quick like glance. Oh I

49:48

don't do like a perv like look at it. So

49:50

you don't spread wait, I should know this

49:52

you don't I don't spread No, you're right. Yeah.

49:54

Oh, no, we don't do we've never done doggy

49:56

cuz our height difference didn't allow us. No,

49:59

I've changed myself style. You're just

50:01

standing now but like no no you you

50:03

know those new office chairs and sell

50:06

what do you mean? I thought

50:09

maybe you'd wear platform heels no you know the

50:11

new office chairs where you can like move

50:13

it up and down. You

50:16

could do that with the human

50:18

and go go down to the

50:21

right you know I mean like an office chain

50:23

right before whatever position the girl ended up being

50:25

even it was super high I wouldn't adjust it

50:27

so I would try to do that so you

50:29

just whatever it presents itself you do. I didn't

50:31

like it okay but now I realized oh no

50:33

I can you know go hey can you go

50:35

down a little bit to the right lay

50:38

on your thumb this and that yeah yeah but

50:40

what are we talking about the butthole? Yeah

50:43

just the proper way to prep.

50:46

Oh yeah go yeah I'd be doing solo anal

50:48

first that's what I would focus on and

50:50

I would go super slow go from one

50:52

finger to two fingers to three fingers and

50:54

this could be over the course of weeks

50:56

depending on your comfortability and how your four

50:59

or five fingers ten fingers I mean we're

51:01

gonna stop yeah well yeah we need to

51:03

stop I'm like this is what I'm trying to

51:05

find out this is my mission where does it stop yeah

51:07

404 Burke

51:11

Chrysler. One person doesn't

51:13

have like an Asian accent and you're like yo

51:15

you got to put an Asian accent on that

51:17

shit when you say that. You can't say that

51:20

about Koreans yeah motherfuckers

51:22

I went too far but what I'm saying

51:24

is is that Japanese people out of oil

51:26

okay well but

51:29

when you look at Japanese people in their

51:31

society it is the most

51:33

fucking cultured hands like

51:35

prim and proper society you've ever been to

51:37

I've only been to the airport in Korea

51:39

I've been to Vietnam that's like they're putting

51:42

their fingers inside your mouth I mean they're

51:44

like they're like oh it's aggressive yeah yeah

51:46

it's aggressive in Vietnam traffic

51:49

in Vietnam oh yeah yeah well

51:51

I've never been there so it's like it's like a Philippines we

51:53

do it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

51:55

yeah but Vietnam's a different level no it's

51:58

similar the Philippines is Notoriously horrible.

52:01

Yeah fucking Joe koi says

52:03

to me Mahalikita

52:08

All the time. What does that mean? No, I

52:10

didn't know it man. I love you. Yeah, so

52:12

I have a Filipino uber driver

52:15

We're talking about all this and we pull up to our

52:18

boss and I go hey Mahalikita and he goes what the

52:20

fuck Did you say to me? I

52:22

said Mahalikita What

52:24

does it mean? And he goes you say I love

52:26

you and I said I thought that's just my like

52:28

hey, man, what's up? Hold

52:31

a fucking uber driver. I loved him. He started laughing so

52:33

fucking hard. I was like Joe koi says it to me

52:35

He goes yeah, like you know, you know who Joe koi

52:37

is. I go. No, I'm a comedian I put my face

52:40

on side of a fucking bus. I go. I definitely know

52:42

Joe koi because you don't know Joe koi Can't make people

52:44

say I don't know Joe koi What

52:46

do you mean? Every time I don't know

52:48

Joe koi. I do know I know you do but I

52:50

they don't know that I don't know him personally Anytime

52:53

I get blood taken? Oh Oh,

52:57

really what do you do for a comedian? Oh,

52:59

really? Yeah, you ever heard a joke where I go

53:01

Yeah, I know. I'm you don't know him face time. I'm like that's

53:03

what I did with you when I was in Hungry.

53:06

Yeah, I face time a guy cuz he didn't believe

53:08

I knew you. Yeah, right cycle. I watch this and

53:10

you picked up Thank God, of course. I always pick

53:12

up on FaceTime. I love a good face. Yeah. Yeah.

53:14

I love a FaceTime Well, you don't expect the FaceTime.

53:16

You're like, oh, they're in a pinch Yeah, they need

53:18

my face for this if you ever run to a

53:20

Korean lady I want you to say I'll show you

53:22

a nice word to say that you're gonna love right?

53:24

Is it boji? Mashi saw

53:26

boji mashi. Yeah boji.

53:29

Mashi saw boji. Mashi saw I'm gonna tell

53:31

you what means right? I want you to

53:33

say to a Korean lady. Okay, they're gonna

53:35

fall in love with you, but I

53:37

know a lot of Korean ladies I'm big in the Kim

53:39

ji good good good. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went and

53:42

we went to third Street One

53:44

of one of our good friends was a Korean

53:46

dude who he was at the premiere Roy Choi. I know

53:48

right Yeah, Roy Roy

53:50

live down the hall for me him

53:53

and his wife Jean and Kaylin their daughter

53:55

and They were staying

53:58

at the fucking hotel that we had the premiere and

54:00

he was like with his daughter and he was like,

54:02

yo, birth premiere's like next door, do you wanna go? And

54:04

so they came over to the premiere and they hung out with him

54:06

all night. Yeah, it's really crazy. He told

54:08

me about, I'm sure I've said this, but I'll say

54:11

it again. He

54:13

told me about the idea of

54:16

starting Kogi at Thanksgiving. We were

54:18

at my house having Thanksgiving dinner and he said,

54:20

I wanna, he

54:23

was working at Rock Sugar at the time. He was like,

54:25

I was thinking about doing a taco truck.

54:28

Taco truck, like a fusion taco truck, like

54:30

Korean barbecue kinda, like really make something different.

54:32

And I was like, I go,

54:34

buddy, can I be honest with you? And he's like, what? And

54:36

I was like, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my

54:38

fucking life. And he was like, what?

54:41

And I was like, I swear to God, I

54:43

said a taco truck? Yeah. A taco truck. I

54:45

go, Roy, you got a family. You gotta take, ask

54:48

for that taco truck. Really? I swear to God. Because

54:50

my friend Wolfgang was like, years ago, he was like,

54:52

a pizza and I go, you should do the pizza.

54:55

Well, you guys had a hockey game and he's like, I just don't have a last

54:57

name. Yeah. How'd

54:59

you know? Yeah. We're

55:01

watching the North stars. Playing

55:03

and I go, fuck. Fuck.

55:06

He's like, thank you. I

55:10

made white chili for Tom Sugura and Roy

55:12

Choi one night. He did? Yeah.

55:15

And it's called for nine cans of

55:17

chiles. And

55:20

I put nine cans

55:22

of jalapenos in. And

55:25

I made a chili so

55:27

bad that Roy Choi left

55:29

my apartment. I said, Roy, help me fix it.

55:31

And he looked at me and he backed out

55:33

of my apartment. He goes, I can't help you.

55:36

And he left and made dinner. And

55:38

then he came back and Tom and I ate it. Two fat

55:40

fucks. This one Tom was like two 90, three 15. Wow.

55:44

And we just, we were like, we'll just

55:46

have diarrhea tomorrow. It's not a big deal.

55:48

We're just going to have diarrhea. Yeah. It's

55:50

a, it's a, what

55:54

are we talking about? Yeah. Yeah.

55:56

Why did you? Steve Byrne called me one time and he was

55:58

like, Hey, I'm at Roy's place. Or we

56:00

just talking about Koreans right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just

56:02

talk about crazy. Let's see how long we just talk about

56:05

cream Oh, let's do it. Okay. Yeah Steve

56:08

Byrne called me one time and he was like, hey, I met

56:11

Roy Choi's taco truck. What does

56:13

he look like? And I Yeah,

56:15

I go. I know I do he was with

56:17

Vince Vaughn. He was with Vince Vaughn. How do

56:20

I know this? I probably told you this. No,

56:22

no, that's not he called me too. Yeah. Yeah.

56:24

No, he called me, too I swear to God this

56:26

is how white Steve Byrne is. Yes. He called me. He

56:28

goes, you know Roy Choi and I go

56:31

Yeah, and he what does he look like? I swear to

56:33

God. I swear to God. Yeah, me too But

56:36

that same night he was and then did he ever run

56:38

into I said to him.

56:40

He looks like you but more hip-hop

56:42

Yeah, 423 Eli Roth Bobby almost gets

56:44

fired. I remember the first time and

56:46

I was so nervous really why I

56:49

Didn't have a mustache or anything Tell

56:52

the audience like explains we work together

56:54

in a faraway place. Yeah. Yeah, is

56:56

that good? Yeah, it's good. And I

56:58

was because I had auditioned and

57:00

I never met you Hmm. What do

57:03

you mean? Cuz it was kovat. That's right. It was

57:05

it was kovat I never met you but

57:07

could I tell you about what happened at

57:10

the table read? Okay, something

57:13

happened. Sure, and it could

57:15

have been listed. It could have been a Fucking

57:18

disaster for me you diarrhea. So

57:21

no So

57:25

You're not aware of this you're not aware of this but

57:28

it would have been a Fucking I would

57:31

have been thrown out Hollywood. I think okay. This sounds

57:33

great. How did I miss it? I never

57:35

told you why not? I'm tell you now,

57:37

okay So

57:40

a week before we did the

57:42

table read right because everyone it you know There's

57:45

all these stars that everyone's around the world because

57:47

we did it through zoom. That's right. We did

57:49

we did right? Wow, so one of your guys

57:51

calls me and goes yo the whole

57:54

movies on Cassett. So you're gonna have to read

57:56

these parts Yes, other

57:58

parts than the parts. I'm Go right. Yeah,

58:00

we gave me 20 names. Yeah 20

58:03

right that was my decision But

58:05

some soul I was like Bobby dude. He's

58:07

great. He can do anything. I Know

58:11

11 all week long. I

58:13

memorized every line. Oh, no

58:17

You know, it's a table read not a table, right? But

58:21

I was so nervous I didn't want to fuck

58:23

up so I hired a guy came over all

58:25

day long I did other people's right.

58:27

It was a lot of parts.

58:30

So I was the hired guy. I didn't You

58:33

I had no idea you get to work

58:35

through that it gets worse now I feel so

58:37

one minute before we start I Text

58:40

the guy and I go, are you sure?

58:43

I'm doing all these parts and he

58:45

goes. Oh, no. No. No, you only didn't doing these two But

58:49

if I hadn't asked Eli you

58:51

would have been I will have been reading somebody

58:53

else's thing What you're doing talking for the sake

58:55

jumping in the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and

58:57

it would have been so fucking embarrassing That

58:59

would have been great I'm

59:03

so it would have been so embarrassed so sad

59:06

that that didn't happen because

59:08

everyone would have been like is there an issue

59:10

with Bobby like Like

59:13

he was cast is this part but now

59:15

he's reading everyone else's Yeah,

59:18

yeah, why is he doing that? Yeah,

59:21

you like this on set like I know he wants extra

59:23

parts, but you can't Can't

59:25

really like two people in the same movie.

59:27

I Really? I

59:29

know seems weird. It would have been a Disaster

59:33

that magic so great. I would have been dude

59:35

and this is what I was a fan of

59:37

your acting I know and I when I met

59:40

you were dude. I remember them.

59:42

Yeah, I went to set

59:44

and I and I went to meet you and

59:47

You pulled me aside and we had like a

59:49

10-minute talk and as soon as you opened

59:51

your mouth. I was like, okay, I'm good You're

59:54

so like, you know, you just took all the

59:56

fears away from me. No, that's great Well, look

59:58

everyone always has that look bit of nervousness but

1:00:00

you cast people for a reason because you trust them

1:00:02

and you sort of trust your instinct and

1:00:04

you're like you don't know

1:00:07

nobody knows it's all just like it's this kind of

1:00:09

like I said a faith-based system you just think yeah

1:00:11

this will probably work but you just have a sense

1:00:13

I was like and I'd seen you in love and

1:00:15

I'd seen obviously mad TV there's so many things I'd

1:00:17

seen you in and I was like

1:00:19

I fucking love Bobby Lee and weirdly I

1:00:21

wasn't watching or like listening to the podcast

1:00:23

I only like knew you from acting Wow

1:00:25

from acting stuff Wow so I was just

1:00:28

like Bobby Lee you were just one of

1:00:30

my favorites oh and I was like we

1:00:32

need to write a role for

1:00:34

Bobby Lee I actually wrote it I was like and

1:00:36

they were like and they're really good what is

1:00:39

this character right I have this idea for

1:00:41

this part and it's really funny

1:00:43

I was like it should be Bobby Lee I think

1:00:45

just putting him in this movie in this world will

1:00:47

be so much fun so when the strike is resolved

1:00:49

yeah and things are done we can talk about it

1:00:51

more and it was but it was a pleasurable experience

1:00:54

but you were great to work with Bobby really thank

1:00:56

you and it was it was a dreamy experience and

1:00:58

I want to just I just want to say that

1:01:00

out loud you know I like yeah thank you I'm

1:01:02

not nervous anymore I'm not nervous anymore I look

1:01:05

at you I'm like uh you're like you're

1:01:09

like now when you open your mouth I think I

1:01:12

could even shit in that mouth not

1:01:17

in not

1:01:19

nervous at all I want stage fright I want

1:01:22

to talk word with Barbara what happened

1:01:25

386 Jim Jeffries the

1:01:28

kimchi number one yeah yeah you

1:01:35

gotta take a look at it yeah I gotta pick it up like

1:01:37

the top one in like

1:01:40

like then you guys you pay the food

1:01:42

outstanding ooh yeah but

1:01:44

listen Jim Jim Jim what do you get on the

1:01:46

mic get out we're not making it I'm back is

1:01:52

that we know Korean dudes right yeah

1:01:54

yeah that say that the LA has

1:01:56

the best Korean food on planet earth

1:01:58

yeah even more More so than

1:02:01

Korea. Well, Australia claims that

1:02:03

for Thai food. And

1:02:05

do you believe them? No, no, the Thai food in Australia

1:02:07

is that stack. But the Thai food in

1:02:09

Thailand is also outstanding. But the argument is

1:02:11

it's exactly the same recipe, but we have better produce

1:02:13

in Australia. Ahh. Do

1:02:16

you guys have better coffee for sure? We're

1:02:18

the best coffee in the world. It's so true. Oh

1:02:20

my god. Not even

1:02:22

close. I have

1:02:24

Italian friends who say that coffee in Italy is

1:02:26

shit in comparison to the coffee in Israel. Australia

1:02:28

is the coffee culture. Yep. I

1:02:32

swear to you Bobby. Colombians

1:02:34

feel that way. I

1:02:36

swear to you Bobby, no better coffee than Australian coffee. I don't

1:02:38

think I would know the difference. You would. No,

1:02:42

you do. They open

1:02:45

up Starbucks across Australia. They went, there's about

1:02:47

three left. Wow. Australia

1:02:50

went, no, no, no. We've

1:02:52

got our coffee. Wow. Yeah,

1:02:56

yeah, yeah. I don't mind

1:02:58

it. Not a Korean barbecue

1:03:00

spot, but just the real stews and other things. I like

1:03:02

Indonesia's food as well. I do too. So

1:03:06

you're saying, what do you think the best Asian food is then? Umm... I

1:03:10

was going to say Thai. Yeah, I think

1:03:12

Thailand's got your beat. Thailand, anything on the

1:03:14

menu I'm obsessed with. Yeah. Thailand,

1:03:18

I'm just like, it's so good. And even like

1:03:20

the room service Pad Thai, you're like, this is

1:03:22

the best fucking Pad Thai food. Yeah. The

1:03:34

rock sugar. So

1:03:38

you're saying? They're like, oh, you got to

1:03:40

go to this one. I'm like, I'm happy in my room.

1:03:44

They give you a little pot of sugar and a

1:03:46

little pot of sugar. So you

1:03:48

can do the rock sugar. Yeah.

1:03:53

Bloody good, man. Really good. So

1:03:55

you're saying Thai food is the number one? Thai food, number one. Okay, number

1:03:57

two. I think

1:03:59

Japanese food. And Japan's got more missions

1:04:01

to our restaurants anyway, we were talking street food But you

1:04:03

get a ramen at like one of those places in Japan

1:04:05

Yeah, where it's like we only do 50 pots a day

1:04:07

and there's people lined up and it's just be like $12

1:04:09

or whatever Yeah, fucking the best

1:04:12

ramen you've ever eaten. I go okay. Okay. Okay.

1:04:14

I buy that. I buy it.

1:04:16

You convinced me. What's three? We're

1:04:19

not in three We

1:04:25

don't need a man, but can we get fourth? Sure.

1:04:29

Yeah beat Vietnam Beat

1:04:32

pho. Yeah, beat pho dude. We beat

1:04:34

pho dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah 401

1:04:37

Sam Barelle joke backfires I had

1:04:40

a problem this morning and I want to just get your guys advice

1:04:42

of that. Is that okay? Sure. I think I know about

1:04:44

it What is it? Okay,

1:04:47

the person you called to run the problem by

1:04:49

then called me. Oh Yeah,

1:04:53

okay that he's a rat then he's not

1:04:55

a rat That guy's a rat, but

1:04:58

I love him Doesn't you write

1:05:00

when you're about to announce? Yeah, everybody what the problem

1:05:02

was I mean cut down his name up So

1:05:04

Sam Sam check it out. Okay. Yeah, I'm

1:05:07

sure I don't want I'm shooting some things today

1:05:09

was my first day Okay, I

1:05:12

don't know anybody And you know,

1:05:14

I'm on makeup right and you know It's one of

1:05:16

those trailers where makeup and hair isn't the same thing,

1:05:18

you know, and the lady that's

1:05:20

playing my Girlfriend is in

1:05:22

the makeup chart. I'm in the hair chair

1:05:26

She's Chinese and the

1:05:28

lady doing her makeup is also

1:05:30

Asian. Okay? She

1:05:32

goes and she has an access she goes. I'm from China Which

1:05:35

is fine. Yeah, right. I didn't know when you say I can't

1:05:37

say Yeah, you you can't

1:05:40

do an Asian accent. I don't think I

1:05:42

should know I think you should try it's

1:05:44

called acting It's

1:05:46

like an acting. I could take a break

1:05:48

a set up. Okay, hey Three Asians telling

1:05:51

you it's okay. Yeah Yeah,

1:06:00

yeah, yeah. Being carried away there.

1:06:02

The boys not the boys. Too much power. All

1:06:04

right. So anyway, she goes, I'm from China. I

1:06:06

go, I love China. That's what you

1:06:09

said right away. Yeah, I said, I love

1:06:11

China. And then I say, you know what

1:06:13

China's known for? Kit-tok and COVID. And

1:06:18

then I feel the energy drift from

1:06:20

the room. Oh, bad joke. No chuckle?

1:06:22

Not only a chuckle, it felt like

1:06:25

I was getting canceled. Wow. So

1:06:28

then my girl doesn't

1:06:30

say anything. The girl that's playing me, the Chinese, she

1:06:32

just leaves. Oh. And she does a

1:06:34

face. Oh. And then her

1:06:36

makeup artist, this taller Asian lady,

1:06:38

goes, that was really rude. I

1:06:41

go, what? Well, I don't, because I didn't know, even know what I

1:06:43

said. I kind of feel like every other thing

1:06:45

I say is like the weirdest thing they've ever heard. By the

1:06:48

way, you did know. You just told us. You know what I

1:06:50

said. Well, I didn't know what you were, they were angry. Oh

1:06:52

yeah, you're right. All right, all right, all right, all right. So

1:06:55

I don't- You took a chance. I know.

1:06:58

Well, you know how sometimes you throw a ball and

1:07:00

you miss. Well, you swing. Because

1:07:02

that could work in some rooms. And

1:07:05

no. We all laughed. Now, it wasn't even

1:07:07

a funny joke. It was just like, I didn't know why I

1:07:09

said it was early in the morning, it was six in the

1:07:11

morning. You know, a comic at six in the

1:07:14

morning, they're not their normal self. Anyway,

1:07:16

she goes, that was rude. I go,

1:07:18

why? She's like, I mean,

1:07:20

it's like we're getting attacked. Oh yeah. You

1:07:23

know what I mean? Because of it. And how dare

1:07:25

you save that. I'm not in a fight. Wow. So

1:07:28

then I had to go- Well, I'm glad she stood up for herself.

1:07:30

Oh, fuck it. Wait, did you defend yourself? Or you're

1:07:32

more like, oh, I got it. No, I go, you

1:07:35

know what? Because I'm- because, you

1:07:37

know, I've been in trouble, right, for my

1:07:39

mouth. Yeah. So I go, you know, I'm

1:07:41

gonna play this differently. I go, you know what? I heard what you said.

1:07:45

And, you know, I get you, man. I see it from

1:07:47

your point of view. And you know me, and I should

1:07:49

have said it, and I really apologize. You're

1:07:52

just telling everyone you didn't mean your apology. She's

1:07:54

gonna hear this. No, I

1:07:56

didn't mean it. Just because I was

1:07:59

doing this. You're smoking your face. No,

1:08:01

let me do it again. Comedians

1:08:03

can't since. I'm so right. This

1:08:06

is unacceptable. It's unacceptable. Thank you,

1:08:08

Sam. Yeah, and then I had to

1:08:10

go to her. She was sitting on

1:08:12

set. And I

1:08:14

was just leaning against the wall because she was doing

1:08:17

something on her phone and I

1:08:19

was trying to like find the right window and

1:08:21

I you know, COVID. Joe,

1:08:24

I said, sorry. She

1:08:26

said, you know, why is fine? And then

1:08:28

I was that but that'd be great. If you gave

1:08:31

her COVID and then and then made a tik-tok about

1:08:34

it, I want to let me ask you something.

1:08:37

I think it's just Korean Chinese beef in I don't

1:08:39

I think that's what you I don't think it's

1:08:41

an Asian thing. Like

1:08:44

I think you guys are just I think about that beef is

1:08:46

delicious though. But

1:08:49

if the white dude said it you get in

1:08:51

trouble, right? I don't think they would like it out

1:08:53

of my mouth. No beefy. They would

1:08:55

complain. I don't I my

1:08:58

jokes are really well structured and thoughtful. I

1:09:00

had a problem, but I totally understand. I

1:09:02

mean, yeah, I know. I

1:09:05

know but I don't think about it.

1:09:07

I admire you. I admire your

1:09:09

balls for just going for it. I

1:09:11

wasn't even throwing it like it's gonna hit. I just said it.

1:09:13

I got you know, which I was where you're talking to COVID.

1:09:17

I just threw it out there. You know what I mean? And

1:09:19

then once I said COVID I could just feel the room change.

1:09:23

It's a bad joke. I know. No, it's not even a

1:09:25

bad joke. It's not funny. It's not funny. Yeah, it's funny.

1:09:27

I know you were being silly. I think

1:09:29

I think it's fucked up to get actually

1:09:31

bothered by that. That's

1:09:33

all I wanted to hear. Yeah, it's a little weird

1:09:36

to make us think of it. They know that you're

1:09:38

a comedian, right? Bingo. Yeah. Thank you so much. That's

1:09:40

why I love you so much. Yeah, no, thank you.

1:09:42

So I got an ally. By the way, I like

1:09:44

that. I like that an ally is

1:09:46

now a guy who supports racist. Sam

1:09:50

is an ally. I'm like I do

1:09:52

support ignorance and really dumb batshit stupid

1:09:54

jokes. Yes, I am a alright, but

1:09:56

you know, but as a comic. Yeah,

1:09:58

you always come to my side. I

1:10:00

really appreciate that. I just yeah,

1:10:02

I mean who gets actually offended

1:10:04

exactly and also it's like we're doing

1:10:06

a movie Say good morning.

1:10:08

What's your name? I didn't say like

1:10:10

a Chinese people created fucking coven. I

1:10:13

just open with that Yeah, I

1:10:15

think good morning nice to work What

1:10:19

about you Gilbert, you know what thank you

1:10:21

I see I was standing in that room yeah,

1:10:23

I'm probably laughing Yeah, that's

1:10:26

why you're my boy dog But

1:10:29

then I'm gonna be like hey, I think you're gonna get

1:10:31

fired from this job exactly Wow,

1:10:33

this is like a Disney kids movie.

1:10:35

You're just like you know who started

1:10:37

COVID This is a short right so

1:10:39

there's no HR or anything. So it was no If

1:10:43

it's a short you're allowed to do that. Well Bob and Bobby's

1:10:45

in it. It's definitely a short It's

1:10:49

a fucking Napoleon fuck what it's kind of

1:10:51

call back you fucking Oh 427

1:10:55

Ralph Barbosa, you got a girlfriend Ernie. No,

1:10:58

what are you good in that department? No What

1:11:04

do we oh, yeah, yeah What

1:11:06

do we not good in the department? It's

1:11:08

hard. No dude, you gotta

1:11:10

change your mindset. What's your approach when you

1:11:12

got you talk to girls? What do you add to comedy? You

1:11:19

know I

1:11:24

Get shy no Bobby Bobby you play a

1:11:26

girl at a club Yeah, you're gonna open

1:11:28

my girl girl and I want you to

1:11:30

approach Bobby and ask like the name all

1:11:32

that You know, I seen the one

1:11:35

can I say? That you know

1:11:37

one day with Andrew what

1:11:40

the one that podcast what's it

1:11:42

called? Oh What's

1:11:52

the guy's name Oh

1:11:55

Andrew what Santino there we go Yeah,

1:11:58

you think it's called and Andrew You're in Bobby, you think

1:12:00

that's what it's called? No, it's because

1:12:02

I see clips on TikTok. Right, but you never watch it.

1:12:05

I watch clips on TikTok. Okay, okay, okay. I'm

1:12:07

not watching the phone. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, yeah.

1:12:09

Yeah, it's called Bad Friends. Okay. Okay. Don't

1:12:12

follow that. It's like you went up

1:12:14

to Slash and Bono and go, you know the band with

1:12:16

Slash and Bono, you too? Wait,

1:12:19

Slash is in you too? Oh yeah, not Slash. Oh.

1:12:22

The edge, the edge, the edge, the edge,

1:12:24

the edge. It's just like another

1:12:26

hymen now. Yeah. I like it

1:12:28

here. The edge of Bono. So I'm the

1:12:30

girl. I'm a girl, right? And

1:12:32

I'm just at a club. She's cute. You

1:12:35

like it? You're dancing. I do like big

1:12:37

chicks. What? You

1:12:39

like the big chicks? All right, let me say something

1:12:41

about that joke, okay? You didn't

1:12:43

commit to it. Yeah. You

1:12:46

didn't scare it, right? So do it

1:12:48

again, that line. You do the thing. All right,

1:12:50

and be more confident about it because first

1:12:53

of all, that hurt you just, it hurt me. Right?

1:12:56

And it made me fucking angry. But what made

1:12:58

me more angry is that you didn't commit to

1:13:00

it. Right? Dun, dun, dun, dun,

1:13:02

dun. I like some big chicks. Yeah.

1:13:07

It works better. How you doing? Hi,

1:13:09

what's your name? Hi, man, but

1:13:12

people call me Ernie. What's your name? What's going

1:13:14

on? What's going on? Oh,

1:13:17

keep going. How would you

1:13:19

respond to that Bobby? He just, hi, my name is, hi, man.

1:13:22

My name is Samantha, but people call me No. Oh.

1:13:25

Maybe I can change. Bye. Hi,

1:13:28

mate, fine. Hi, mate, fine. My

1:13:31

name is Samantha. So what do you do? I

1:13:34

do a little photography. I do a little

1:13:36

comedy. That's pretty much it

1:13:38

right now. What do you do? You

1:13:43

know, I just right now, you know, I work at a restaurant,

1:13:45

but also, you know, I work at. Good,

1:13:49

good, good. Very good. Good question.

1:13:51

Yeah, I work at, I run, there's a

1:13:53

you. I

1:13:56

know, but. Oh shit. I

1:13:58

don't know if you get it out. Can I get it out

1:14:00

though? Do it. So I work at, you know, there's a new guy.

1:14:02

Boy, we're in a way. Oh! Oh! Oh! He's

1:14:05

power driving right now. He's power

1:14:07

driving. It's the first question. So I work

1:14:09

at a restaurant next to the Home Depot.

1:14:12

Good night. Good night. Oh, go ahead. I'm

1:14:14

bad. Yeah, my bad. Can I just finish what I was

1:14:16

saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, little man. I feel like

1:14:18

you're nervous or whatever. But anyway, I'm not nervous, man. Now,

1:14:22

what do you do to comedy? I do a little

1:14:24

10 minutes. I open for Ralph. You ever heard of

1:14:26

him? I said, where? Oh. Oh. Where

1:14:29

do you do comedy? I do whatever. I

1:14:32

go with Ralph. You ever heard of him? Who's

1:14:34

Ralph? He has a Netflix special. You ever heard

1:14:36

of him? Yeah, I don't know. Let's check him

1:14:38

out. What's his last

1:14:40

name? Barbosa. Barbosa, cool. Yeah. I

1:14:43

open for him. I'll do a little five, 10 minutes. Yeah,

1:14:46

that's great. Oh yeah, where you

1:14:48

work at? You

1:14:50

never told me. I work

1:14:52

at a restaurant next to the Home Depot. I just said that.

1:14:54

It's called where? Home Depot? There's

1:14:57

a restaurant next to the Home Depot. What the

1:14:59

fuck is happening? I hope you all know that

1:15:01

this is not him like coming into a kitchen.

1:15:03

I know. I know. I know. I get it.

1:15:05

I understand. It's 100% what a conversation is. So

1:15:08

anyway, do you work out here

1:15:10

and there? Yeah, where? At the hotels.

1:15:15

When I can. What do you mean? What

1:15:17

do you mean the hotel? Oh, when you when I'm on tour,

1:15:19

you want to come? I

1:15:23

just get to, but you look. No, no, no, no. I

1:15:27

gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. No,

1:15:29

no, no. Stay. Stay. No, I gotta go. Where?

1:15:32

Where you going? Creepy.

1:15:35

It's creepy. Where you going?

1:15:38

I'm going outside. I'll walk out with you. OK.

1:15:41

It's your Instagram. What's my

1:15:43

Instagram? Yeah, let me have it. I don't have one. I don't

1:15:45

do social media. How old are you? Why?

1:15:50

People my age have Instagrams. Why don't you? Ooh.

1:15:53

Yeah. But did I scare you

1:15:55

a little bit? Yeah. Why? I

1:15:58

didn't scare you. That's what

1:16:00

you say to girl. That's your vibe. Do

1:16:03

the bark. We're out of the thing now. Do the bark.

1:16:06

Do the bark. Oh, I'll be barking on girls. Hold on. I

1:16:09

heard you bark. Yeah, you want to hear it? I

1:16:12

guess. I'm going to bark. That's

1:16:14

your bark, dude? Yeah,

1:16:18

I'll be at the clubs and I'll be

1:16:20

barking. Yeah, yeah. Can

1:16:22

I hear you bark? You

1:16:26

got the dog in her. Everyone,

1:16:29

you bark. No, I can't. I

1:16:31

can't. You bark! Okay,

1:16:33

you bark. Yeah, that's good. You have the best bark, dude. Yeah,

1:16:36

it is a good bark. 425, Whitney Cummings, Single Life. You know, I was

1:16:38

worried about that too. But Jenna's

1:16:40

great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it goes

1:16:42

all goes back. Number one, it's like great. All goes

1:16:44

back. I hate it.

1:16:46

I hate it. I hate it. I

1:16:49

hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

1:16:52

I hate it. I hate it. I

1:16:54

hate it. I hate it. I

1:17:57

hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

1:18:00

Spiros down you go. I'll go back and play

1:18:02

video games. Yeah. Yeah me. It's not that big

1:18:04

of a deal I think we do well in

1:18:06

relationships. I'm a relationship guy. Yeah I

1:18:10

mean, you know you're really just a person too. I

1:18:12

think I think it's good for us I think

1:18:14

it's like we're kind of like left

1:18:16

our own devices. Maybe just have

1:18:18

too many Yeah temptations

1:18:20

or opportunities. Yeah. Yeah, you know

1:18:23

what my new kink is getting married you

1:18:25

want to do it? I'm into it. I want like

1:18:28

to be a wife I want

1:18:30

to like be someone's wife and

1:18:32

like keep the house and handle shit

1:18:35

This just come up when you got

1:18:37

pregnant interesting I always knew like

1:18:39

I'm gonna get pregnant 40 always knew that we

1:18:41

talked about that on trash Tuesday And

1:18:44

I think now that I've like accomplished most of

1:18:46

my goals professionally. It's not gonna feel

1:18:48

like I'm just You know, I

1:18:50

have to be someone's wife so that cuz the man like I

1:18:52

just I it's an active choice Can I propose

1:18:54

like a kink proposed to me? Yes No, I'm

1:18:56

gonna propose you but if I was your husband

1:18:58

and I go and you said yes Would

1:19:01

you go with this idea? We

1:19:03

sleep in two different better. I've never slept in the

1:19:05

bed with a man for 12 years now really

1:19:07

can't do it I got a California. I'm sorry.

1:19:10

I got a Wyoming King bed. Yeah, California plus

1:19:12

a twin. Yeah, I'm still too hard It's

1:19:14

just I can't sleep in the same bed with somebody Do

1:19:17

you think it what it what is it though? Is it

1:19:19

just that either they're moving or they're like a couple things

1:19:21

number one? I just think it makes everything less sexy a

1:19:23

little like if you have the ability to sleep in separate

1:19:26

rooms I've got I like to sleep with the dogs. I

1:19:28

get up in the middle of the night sometimes I don't

1:19:30

want to feel like I'm waking you up. I don't our

1:19:32

hours are a little bit crazy Yeah,

1:19:35

I think to me that's like I'm doing this because I

1:19:37

love you Sometimes I'll like sneak into your bed and like fuck

1:19:40

in the middle of night if you don't have to get up

1:19:42

early But like most people get up at six I if I

1:19:44

go to bed a Sarah Highland when I you know when I

1:19:46

dated her Yeah, I told you the other room we used to

1:19:48

do used to podcast Yeah, I got our better go sleep in

1:19:50

there and for like two months into it She's like I can't

1:19:52

do this. It's just too precious as sleep is

1:19:54

just too precious But why are you like that and

1:19:56

a lot of women aren't I grew

1:19:58

up in an alcoholic home and was No, but that makes

1:20:00

sense to me. Yeah, especially if you have

1:20:02

opposite schedules like I wish we had done that sooner

1:20:06

I don't want to feel shame for having to get up

1:20:08

and pee five times before bed Sometimes I get up and

1:20:10

I putting on my shit like I just don't want to

1:20:12

feel like I'm keeping you up Yeah,

1:20:14

walking on eggshells. Sometimes I'll just lie there and be like, I'm

1:20:16

gonna wake him up if I get up I don't want to roll

1:20:18

over or like yeah, I mean Holding

1:20:21

our fart like how long don't the whole Beginning

1:20:24

though do I could I've been I'm a fart

1:20:26

holder too. I've slept with a couple of girls,

1:20:28

you know recently overnight Holding

1:20:33

forts. Oh god the worst your bubble

1:20:35

though And then I have to do

1:20:37

my hands and slowly do this and

1:20:39

keep slowly sleep. Can I bring your

1:20:41

bubble? When you're deep asleep,

1:20:43

Bobby you fart all night Fart

1:20:49

towel Sebastian. Oh, yeah, yeah But

1:20:52

it's I think it's still sexy and fun to be

1:20:54

like, okay Saturday night like if you had an edible

1:20:56

or whatever and we can like sleep in the same

1:20:58

bed or just like fall asleep together And then I'll

1:21:00

sneak into the other room. Yeah, I'm not like a

1:21:02

psycho about it But I cool Howard

1:21:05

and Beth Stern they say the secret to

1:21:07

their relationship Which is now 20 years is

1:21:10

separate bathrooms. I mean in separate like

1:21:12

they sleep together but separate bathroom That's what

1:21:14

I want seven separate bathroom. Mm-hmm for sure

1:21:16

is a huge thing. Yeah. Okay. Here's

1:21:19

Everyone listening. This is my This

1:21:21

is what I want my dream situation. It put

1:21:24

it out there. Okay Two

1:21:26

different bedrooms. Okay. Okay. Okay You

1:21:29

don't say shit ever about how

1:21:32

long I'm playing video games What's

1:21:34

your big video game right now? What's your

1:21:36

video? You're a field. Okay, not don't not not

1:21:38

nothing like don't walk in the room and shake

1:21:40

her head Right don't

1:21:43

power know I'm into video games.

1:21:45

Good be cool about it I thought

1:21:47

even if I would play for three days without eating,

1:21:49

right? No, doesn't okay. Can

1:21:51

I tell you what you thought? What did you die?

1:21:53

I died then I die can I die I die

1:21:55

Can I say fine? Did I say something about

1:21:57

the video game guy like younger guys playing video game?

1:21:59

Yeah They are

1:22:01

obsessed with like honor and rescuing

1:22:04

the woman. Yeah, I am into

1:22:06

video game guys. Yeah That's

1:22:08

not apply. Okay Play

1:22:10

farming killing I

1:22:13

plow what you should why don't you would you ever

1:22:16

have an actual farm with chicken? You see this so fucking

1:22:18

would you actually want to fight a dragon? No My

1:22:25

point is is this so that's the one sleep on seven

1:22:27

birds never complain about my video

1:22:30

game Okay, and also sometimes though

1:22:32

you do use video games to check out

1:22:34

and avoid a relationship 100% Okay,

1:22:37

just between me. I can see

1:22:39

myself doing that And

1:22:43

the third thing is I'm just in the market for

1:22:45

a new addiction I'm

1:22:47

wondering is it is good. I mean, I'm

1:22:49

aware of what it is. I know what

1:22:51

it is It's like a secondary addiction escaping

1:22:54

gives me dopamine hits. Did you ever do

1:22:56

Dungeons and Dragons? It's

1:22:58

a younger person. Yes a kid. Yeah, but not No,

1:23:01

because you know, I don't have that much of an imagination

1:23:03

and you can make up the story to make up in

1:23:05

your mind And visualize and stuff. I'm not

1:23:08

wrong gambling I was thinking maybe just

1:23:10

don't live together might be the perfect scenario

1:23:12

for you No, live close. No in like a

1:23:14

calm. I wanted it like sell you around Okay,

1:23:17

I mean I want to still see you I want

1:23:20

to eat dinner with you. Yeah Yeah, you know me,

1:23:22

but it's like what's the third thing? I like

1:23:24

the idea of me it's interdependent instead of

1:23:26

codependent being able to be independent with people

1:23:28

to me that is intimacy You

1:23:31

know, I can't just be playing video games for

1:23:33

seven hours And like if there's something urgent or

1:23:35

I just think the key is sometimes going like

1:23:37

hey these next couple days I'm probably just gonna

1:23:40

check out a little bit if that's okay

1:23:42

But then that only works if like her

1:23:44

love language isn't shared experiences because that's a hard

1:23:46

thing for you to do Like

1:23:48

what's a shared experience? What do you mean? Like

1:23:50

maybe it's something she enjoys and you don't

1:23:52

necessarily, you know enjoy but you you know

1:23:54

commit to it anyway But with 18 hours

1:23:56

a day of video games Okay,

1:23:58

I understand Right, you

1:24:00

know like but yeah, no, I think that

1:24:02

we are not great at fun

1:24:05

stuff like that But we're also the

1:24:07

people that when you do take us to fun stuff We're like, I

1:24:09

mean what's the big we have to like roast everything and make fun

1:24:11

of everything So I'm sort of like why don't you just go with

1:24:13

your friends? Cuz if I go? That's

1:24:19

something I learned very quickly when trying to

1:24:21

do shared experiences with him is that he

1:24:23

would almost make it worse Yeah, like the

1:24:25

whole time you Think

1:24:28

that's our thing. I would blow up and be like

1:24:30

why the fuck are you even here? And so I

1:24:32

learned then that I would go out with my friends,

1:24:35

but we have to understand Yeah, might be by me

1:24:37

being there is a miracle. Yeah,

1:24:39

straight from heaven, baby You know, like I

1:24:41

can't even believe I'm out here in the

1:24:43

mountain or whatever it might be Yeah, I

1:24:45

would get super emo. I'd be like we need to be making them

1:24:48

Oh, remember what I'd be like, um, somebody didn't

1:24:50

see hasn't seen snow. I forgot what it was

1:24:52

tools, right? So we're out. Yeah, we're out in

1:24:54

Big Bear watching snow Yes, and everything snow. I

1:24:57

know but imagine me driving to the mountain to

1:24:59

see fucking snow I've

1:25:02

seen the movies lady big

1:25:04

Paris where you go to realize What

1:25:07

I know the revenant I've seen the revenant. Yeah, you

1:25:09

have snow in that movie Like I don't need this

1:25:11

but I grow all the way in the mountain. Yeah,

1:25:13

see fucking so she doesn't think you think it's normal

1:25:17

That I'm no that's a miracle for

1:25:19

me. That's me crying so hard Tires

1:25:22

We're competing with snow we're

1:25:25

entertainers We're kind of

1:25:27

like we're like no you come

1:25:29

see us fuck weather But my point is

1:25:31

is this that um that you and I you

1:25:33

just kind of validated for me who I am

1:25:36

Because sometimes I look at my behavior and I go,

1:25:38

you know go what's wrong with you? But

1:25:41

then if I realize there are people like people

1:25:43

like you and Andrew reminds me that too sense,

1:25:45

you know in different ways And I

1:25:47

just I do want to say like it's not

1:25:49

like we're not we want the person we're with

1:25:51

to be having fun And we want to do

1:25:53

fun things. I just when I'm doing something that's

1:25:55

supposed to be fun I feel pressure like I'm

1:25:57

not have I need to perform having fun. Well

1:26:00

Yeah, and you know what I mean? And I feel

1:26:02

it's not annoying though that we have to be like

1:26:04

I don't get massages cuz I'm like like I don't know

1:26:06

how to convey to this person that I'm like having a

1:26:08

great I don't want them to feel like they're failing Can't

1:26:13

get my size is cuz I'm like this they're like is it

1:26:15

gonna be no, it's great like I'm Receiving

1:26:20

gifts because I do The

1:26:23

meanest thing We

1:26:28

are four twelve mark Norman wear

1:26:30

and tear so I met a girl. Oh somewhere

1:26:32

in the country. Yes. I'm wearing the country Yeah,

1:26:35

put that down. Just don't put the right right

1:26:37

and I was erect. Yeah, I

1:26:39

wrecked. I was I wrecked But

1:26:42

it was daylight. Oh Problem.

1:26:45

Yeah, right because I have the three colored. Oh,

1:26:48

right. I had to go. Yeah, it's

1:26:50

tricolored Yeah, I know but I

1:26:52

just thought that she was but

1:26:55

I had that brown ring I go and I try to make a

1:26:57

like a Lord of the Rings. She's like, I don't know so the

1:26:59

movie whatever but But

1:27:02

it's like this dark ring and I showed her and she

1:27:04

didn't seem to care But it's like

1:27:06

I don't know why I just had to do it Oh,

1:27:09

no, I feel the same way about broad

1:27:11

daylight like first-time sex. Like I don't I

1:27:14

I'm pretty tricolored there, too It's

1:27:19

one color my color shit I

1:27:25

It's a beautiful dark purple Purple

1:27:29

is just one. It's a different shade.

1:27:31

Yeah. Is it like a mood ring?

1:27:33

Does it change color with? Hey, yeah,

1:27:36

it's similar to a nipple. I think depending on

1:27:38

like how much blood flow is there. All right

1:27:40

All right. Yeah, but it's like I've never looked at

1:27:42

a woman's vagina go. I don't like that color. I have

1:27:46

black Yeah

1:27:54

Yeah, I've never like went oh that's not

1:27:57

you know a favorable color right Well,

1:28:00

you know what you I think you'd rather pink

1:28:02

then like a dirty brown That's

1:28:06

again guys That's well

1:28:08

just something Tear

1:28:11

down there, but that doesn't do

1:28:13

with color. So let's just let that sink. All right leather

1:28:17

All right. Oh, I see you know beef

1:28:19

tips. There you go. Yeah, I don't like

1:28:21

what it's burnt and like roast beef tip

1:28:23

Yeah, yeah, that's what that's what he's trying

1:28:25

to say exactly anatomy. That has nothing to do

1:28:27

with wear and tear. Oh, really? Yeah,

1:28:29

we don't know we're not scientists right? Well, I've never

1:28:31

seen a baby with the wear and tear I

1:28:35

used to babysit. I can show you

1:28:37

the photos of all Yeah,

1:28:46

um, so anyway I did show her

1:28:48

and explain, you know through years of

1:28:51

You know mean wearing tear this man. That's

1:28:53

why I try call her. Oh you told her

1:28:55

you had wear and tear Dick

1:28:57

should not have tear. Where are

1:29:00

you tearing? It's got where though? It's got where

1:29:02

it's like Denim, you know take the fans

1:29:04

that he go where? Wow,

1:29:09

I've seen it so

1:29:12

when you saw you go that's a small one. Yeah Wow,

1:29:16

I thought we all do that. No. No well

1:29:19

tell them about tell them about is it a

1:29:21

grower the grower? Oh really? I

1:29:24

was pretty worried when I saw it soft the first

1:29:26

time. Yeah, but then he grew like

1:29:28

pretty to average All right. Great.

1:29:31

Yeah, but what did she think she

1:29:33

liked it? Okay, perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

1:29:36

I mean, I mean she could be a good liar

1:29:38

too. I don't know true. She went she went it's

1:29:40

good Yeah

1:29:47

I love when there's always guys who I got no

1:29:49

complaints never got any complaints I'm like what woman's gonna

1:29:51

be like I want to make a complaint That's

1:29:54

not gonna happen. Yeah, it'd be nice. I'll talk to

1:29:56

their friends. They know that they know right, right? They're

1:29:58

very I know how that Oh, yeah,

1:30:00

you're friends. Yeah, of course. So

1:30:03

all your friends know what my dick looks like like Every

1:30:06

single inch of it your mom. Yeah

1:30:08

topography ever your mom. Yeah No,

1:30:11

wait a second. My mom knows because she would

1:30:13

find pictures of you with okay Okay, get

1:30:15

pictures with girls like because

1:30:17

my mom would clean Will

1:30:20

still clean his house. Well, she's Filipino Yeah,

1:30:22

yeah, yeah, yeah, and he

1:30:24

would she would always just unearth these old

1:30:27

pictures of Bobby with his previous You

1:30:29

know girly's of the night

1:30:31

you leave the photos out. No

1:30:33

during drawers and stuff I see yeah, they're in cabinets

1:30:35

and drawers. I don't leave it out. He's like darling. Where

1:30:38

do you want me to put this? Yeah,

1:30:40

I just put it in a box. You've seen

1:30:42

them. I've seen them. Yeah, I see them. Yeah.

1:30:45

All right. Great Four

1:30:47

twenty one Adam Ray Adam owes Bobby 50k and

1:30:50

I've told this story many times a blast by

1:30:52

the way Let's talk about the positives before we

1:30:54

steer to negative Get

1:30:56

it first. I want to go negative first Yeah And

1:30:58

there's a story that I told and I think you

1:31:00

know because you know, I lie and exaggerate and sometimes

1:31:03

I don't know what The truth is so it's like

1:31:05

um, there's a story between you and as I've told

1:31:07

but I don't know if it's true Yeah, so I

1:31:09

would like you to tell that please the Fort Lauderdale.

1:31:11

Yeah Gambling.

1:31:13

Yeah, so tell So

1:31:16

I think this was 20 Say

1:31:19

2011 maybe 2010 Wow Wow The

1:31:24

13. Yeah, I was about three four years in

1:31:26

the stand-up Yeah, Bobby saw me at the commie

1:31:28

store and goes my man you were I don't want

1:31:30

to miss coach you be like You're the funniest

1:31:32

white you boy. I've ever seen turn out you're

1:31:34

the For a Jew book

1:31:36

for a Jew book. Fuck you like that. You've

1:31:38

got nubby stuff. No Something

1:31:41

about I'm inspired by the story. Yeah, and

1:31:43

so we went on the road and Having

1:31:46

a blast going to Maggiano's like we

1:31:48

always the love my honor. Well, we

1:31:51

used to get oh man meatball The

1:31:53

mushroom the mushroom soup the mushroom. No, no, no,

1:31:55

no the little mushrooms with a little filling stuffing

1:31:57

in the molly The mushroom stuffed stuffed mushrooms. Yeah.

1:31:59

Yeah You like that what's wrong? No

1:32:02

nothing. I'm listening. No you

1:32:04

did something. What did I do? Sorry? I was looking

1:32:06

that was insane. I was looking for candy

1:32:10

Wow, no candy there. No, so

1:32:12

donuts are coming, but I found my candy. Yeah,

1:32:14

but don't do this during the thing where you went Like

1:32:23

a message gets it makes the guests feel like they're not

1:32:25

sorry. I feel like I'm pretty secure, but Here

1:32:28

can I explain myself you after I show you

1:32:30

all and then my hunger started to

1:32:32

kind of you sort of look that was

1:32:34

your Meatball look that was my oh my god.

1:32:36

I'm hungry. Where are my noms? What are those

1:32:38

noms? Yeah? I love noms noms No,

1:32:41

oh, I know Meep on a

1:32:43

pack never had noms are the best just better

1:32:45

be an ad what kind do they have the

1:32:47

ones of the Not an ad this is just

1:32:50

we just love them Filipino meatballs. No No, what

1:32:52

I've never had somebody that I'm gonna try oh

1:32:54

my god. They're other gummy bears No, but there's

1:32:56

their meatball. There's a thing that they put on

1:32:58

there What is that stuff that they put

1:33:00

on there? Well they're covered in Lee hang and let me oh

1:33:02

yeah Which I think I went to high school both those kids

1:33:06

Wasn't she a street fighter? By

1:33:09

the way, I did go to high school with

1:33:11

a Vietnamese girl named Betch Ho Yeah, really CH

1:33:13

H dash O and everybody was like yo bitch

1:33:15

your mama's a ho your daddy's a ho Yeah,

1:33:17

you get the donuts. Thank you.

1:33:20

All right. Sorry Please

1:33:22

just try one of these. I try one for a trip before

1:33:24

we go to the Yeah, the burst

1:33:27

the bursts are good. I am fired. I

1:33:29

love you. Where did you uh, oh

1:33:31

this is okay Hawaii Now

1:33:35

tell me this does Hawaii are they just ahead of the curve

1:33:37

as far as treats go candy Yes, I think

1:33:39

Asia too in general Japan for

1:33:41

most stuff right? Yeah, Hawaiian candy.

1:33:43

Yeah. Yeah. Why is that? I don't

1:33:46

know I just go to the crack seed store and I

1:33:49

Everything there is just infinitely better Wow.

1:33:51

I'm tasting a little bit of Lee hang on that Hey

1:33:55

Lee, what's my Lee? Hey Lee? I don't

1:33:57

know what you fucking on these bears Baby,

1:34:01

you like them look better than that. What's the

1:34:03

American one the Faribo for that's

1:34:05

a gummy bear Oh sure. Oh gushers with a

1:34:07

little juice inside Anyway,

1:34:09

let's move on. Okay for Lauderdale. I'm speaking

1:34:11

a sweet treat with the for Lauderdale improv

1:34:13

So I'm doing the for Lauderdale improv sold

1:34:15

out by the way, it was sold out

1:34:18

Oh, but oh even back then all your

1:34:20

souls were sold out Remember you left

1:34:22

me a voicemail was just still had it when we were in Seattle and

1:34:24

you're like hey, man Take it easy this weekend. Don't

1:34:26

crush too hard. I know your family's gonna be in town

1:34:28

Are you gonna fucking take it up a notch cuz you

1:34:30

step dads here and you want to impress them and get

1:34:32

them to love you like Real

1:34:34

dad didn't whatever you said. I get them paraphrasing. Oh,

1:34:36

that's right. Yeah, you go take it down a notch

1:34:38

you're abandoned cuz Bobby The

1:34:43

the For louder improv

1:34:45

big room you came and I think right before you

1:34:48

had to go on chugged a Red Bull You're

1:34:50

like, how are they I was like unbelievable and

1:34:52

you get up there. You're like fuck What am I gonna do? Mm-hmm, and

1:34:55

then you go up there you murder we get off stage

1:34:58

out in the lobby I Was like,

1:35:00

let's go to my John. Oh, so I was like I'm gonna

1:35:02

go outside and hand out some stickers and try to try to

1:35:04

get Some fans. Mm-hmm. I made a couple gals. That's

1:35:07

right. And one of the girls was pretty

1:35:09

pumped about my set And

1:35:12

I'm in the feature spot the easiest spot

1:35:14

for comedy. I'm doing you're letting me do

1:35:16

30 minutes sometimes 45 Let's get to the

1:35:18

didn't show up on I think

1:35:21

Santa was a improv. I did an hour and 15 minutes

1:35:23

in the feature spot. So now I'm just you hear out

1:35:26

take chasing tail Okay. Okay. So this

1:35:28

gal and I go to a couple bars We

1:35:30

have a good time and I'm thinking whatever I

1:35:32

mean, I'm still in this new spot of even

1:35:35

You know having people I'm like I don't know what the

1:35:37

move is and just kind of letting her kind of drive

1:35:39

the ship and then we go back to the Hardrock and

1:35:41

Bobby's like I'm gonna go gamble. Let me know

1:35:44

when you're done making mistakes and Was

1:35:47

it a mistake? I've

1:35:50

never been pretty fun. Yeah, but here's why I

1:35:52

think it was a mistake. It was a little

1:35:54

mentally It was a fucking mistake. Yeah, get to

1:35:56

the mistake. So I'm up. So I don't know

1:35:58

if you guys your phone on with

1:36:00

the lights on or the music on but I tried to

1:36:03

put things on airplane mode. Silent mode.

1:36:05

Silent mode is I wanted no distractions.

1:36:08

Yeah. I don't want to hear you know my

1:36:12

ringtone for Bobby and I

1:36:16

had some Lee Hing gummy bears and some rubbers

1:36:18

and I wanted to make sure everything was punky

1:36:20

dory and I looked down on my phone afterwards

1:36:23

couldn't have been more than I don't know four

1:36:25

or five minutes and

1:36:27

I look down I see like 40 missed calls

1:36:29

from Bobby and I'm like somebody's

1:36:32

dead that's what Amelia you go to somebody died

1:36:34

or my

1:36:38

second thought was oh I think he's gambling

1:36:40

and I think he won a lot of money and

1:36:43

I think he needs me to do something

1:36:45

about that in a way that

1:36:47

helps him collect said cash so

1:36:50

I made a call back and he goes where

1:36:52

the fuck are you and I go almost

1:36:55

stairs I was having some fucking noms

1:36:57

what's going on he was

1:36:59

like I just won I think 40 or

1:37:01

50 thousand thousand dollars at the slot machine

1:37:03

and I didn't have my ID on it

1:37:05

I need you to come down here quickly

1:37:07

to claim my prize and I was

1:37:10

like fuck I'm on my way and

1:37:12

by the time I go down there it's too late what do you mean it's

1:37:14

too late so I guess that you know I didn't

1:37:17

have any identification which is

1:37:19

your fault I

1:37:22

know but I'm also playing the club yeah I know

1:37:24

right I like I'm headlining the club posters

1:37:26

everywhere posters everywhere so I mean just give

1:37:28

me some slack just give me some slack

1:37:31

right and they go no we need a

1:37:33

hard copy of your ID so what I

1:37:35

was gonna do is when it rang I knew

1:37:37

this instinctually I was like I'm gonna call Adam

1:37:39

he's gonna sit where I'm sitting the

1:37:42

problem is this buzzer is going like ringing everyone's

1:37:44

staring at me because I want to

1:37:46

think right so I'm like calling Adam

1:37:48

like so he can get there so he can go

1:37:50

I won he gets some money I wouldn't give him

1:37:52

a percentage yeah and we could have moved on right

1:37:54

then they go you can't you

1:37:56

got there too late I ended up going

1:37:58

to like the offices where the you know native

1:38:01

chiefs are and stuff like that and and they

1:38:03

go here's what we're to do yeah You

1:38:06

take will be you take plane

1:38:10

Go get your ID and then fly back Like

1:38:14

my arm and collect the money yeah

1:38:16

my okay passport, but since Florida,

1:38:18

I'm not gonna fly back. What would you do?

1:38:20

Yes? I'd send him

1:38:23

I'd fly him really really was

1:38:25

about 2025. That's still a lot. Okay, look. Yeah, I

1:38:27

realize he was like 20 25,000 Okay,

1:38:29

look I would have sent him back That

1:38:32

night take a red-eye come back totally and

1:38:34

then give him a 10% of it Not

1:38:37

even almost just like this is what you have to do for not

1:38:39

being available. I would have done it Well

1:38:41

the problem was everywhere do we think about that

1:38:43

cameras everywhere? They would have maybe right they've seen

1:38:45

me sit down Well, how

1:38:48

long ago was this of course they had cameras 2011? No,

1:38:50

there's what they wanted I would have had to

1:38:52

get on a flight drive and

1:38:55

drive back Yeah, you could have had

1:38:57

someone do that for you though. I fly me fly

1:38:59

fly what yeah, Adam could have done that Yeah,

1:39:01

oh so fly back to LA yeah, and

1:39:03

then flying back with my shit kick him up a grand

1:39:06

For his troubles. Okay, maybe I'll even

1:39:09

take comfort to me in my mind. I was like

1:39:12

I don't know why it was it wasn't worth to me out

1:39:14

for some reason I just I was so angry,

1:39:17

but anyway and did I use that against you in

1:39:19

any way? I don't know and collected the cash no

1:39:21

no that cash is just sitting at the hardrock at

1:39:23

Fort Lauderdale I wonder if you go in that claim.

1:39:25

Yeah, can you go back now and just be like look dude?

1:39:28

Roll back a year ago. You never gave

1:39:30

me a timetable. I'm a timetable. Oh You

1:39:33

timetable how about this we film it we go back We

1:39:36

collect the cash and I find that girl and we get her

1:39:38

to Testify testify. Yeah,

1:39:40

that's my And

1:39:43

she's like yeah, I was upstairs having a very subpar experience. I'm like

1:39:45

you fucking you said it was great Check

1:39:48

is that why I'm here. Yeah 414 Dan

1:39:50

Soder. I call in Quinn the first time

1:39:52

I met him Yeah, was with Joe list

1:39:54

yeah, Colin Quinn just goes. What's your last

1:39:56

name, and I go Soder you change it I

1:40:00

know I know I was just sitting there like yeah, yeah Hero

1:40:05

right fucking change my name or like sometimes you'll

1:40:07

go like Jim normal go hey It will introduce

1:40:09

me to other comics like this guy's a strong

1:40:12

middle. Yeah Right

1:40:15

I'm like I'm headlining I'm always I'm always

1:40:17

waiting from those old-school guys. I'm always waiting

1:40:19

for a punch So every time I yeah

1:40:22

like hey, how you doing Jim? Yeah,

1:40:25

you don't want to lean in and be although Jim

1:40:27

though He is one of the sweetest

1:40:30

yeah underrated comedians of all three weeks ago.

1:40:32

He texted me and So

1:40:35

I guess the New York Post did a article

1:40:37

about me being drunk on Sex

1:40:40

in the city you remember that yeah, it was

1:40:42

on page six you called me so then Norton

1:40:44

texted me goes Are you okay, buddy? I

1:40:46

read that article. I just want to see if you're

1:40:49

okay. Yeah, and I'm like oh We're

1:40:52

friends, and he's he loves me and what

1:40:54

a great guy what a sweet You

1:40:57

know he like guys like that always like

1:40:59

text me when things are going wrong But

1:41:03

yeah, I mean they're there No,

1:41:06

oh, he's just genuinely genuine. It was genuinely.

1:41:08

Are you okay? I'm here for you. You

1:41:10

know I talked to When

1:41:13

Ari the Kobe thing happened. Oh my

1:41:15

god. I remember Ari being like yeah

1:41:17

all the New York guys were

1:41:19

like Honest and upfront like

1:41:21

but like didn't abandon me like I said that

1:41:23

he was like all you guys were like that

1:41:25

joke sucked But we love you. Yeah, you know

1:41:27

It was like he said like you know I'm

1:41:30

not gonna name names We said people on the

1:41:32

West Coast fuck it were like you lose my

1:41:34

number This

1:41:36

is what I want to say now, and you just

1:41:38

hit something in me, and I'm gonna get in there

1:41:41

Okay, I think you're right. I

1:41:44

think that some of the people know some people in

1:41:46

the West right are cowards Yeah,

1:41:48

and they're scared. Yeah, and they're a

1:41:50

little too woke for me. Yeah, right what they

1:41:52

care about the optics They care of the

1:41:54

optics like I can't be associated over friendship

1:41:57

over friendship, but the New York eyes Indeed

1:42:00

well, it's we I

1:42:03

truly think that there's a thing of like there's

1:42:05

an honesty to a bill relationships there we're

1:42:07

like Should

1:42:10

I move I? The

1:42:12

thing I do like about New York is that like

1:42:14

they'll tell you to your face if a joke sucks

1:42:17

Yeah, don't do that joke and I feel like

1:42:19

in LA there's not a lot. Well the audience

1:42:21

does that too. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I

1:42:23

think I think that that's the one thing I

1:42:25

like about New York is that I know that

1:42:27

no matter Where I go in the business. I

1:42:29

have a crew of friends that will treat me

1:42:31

the same. Yeah I think in

1:42:34

LA what happens is people treat you accordingly like

1:42:36

if Like if you're

1:42:38

up people are like, oh my god

1:42:41

I love seeing you if you're down and you do

1:42:43

something fucked up. They're like, I just

1:42:45

I can't right now. Yeah I

1:42:47

don't know that could I know you you're

1:42:50

absolutely correct Yeah You hit it

1:42:52

on the button because I've had friends that have

1:42:54

gone through all that shit and just immediately you

1:42:56

reach out Yeah, I do. This is the sucks

1:42:59

Cuz you know how many voices are coming at

1:43:01

them being like you fucking suck you're terrible And

1:43:03

if you just reach out and go like yeah,

1:43:05

all right, this is brutal, but I then make

1:43:07

fun of I think theoretically But I want to

1:43:09

say this though I think that people in New

1:43:11

York comics that go to New York want to

1:43:13

be real comics, right? I think that

1:43:15

would end up I think they want to focus primarily

1:43:17

right and when they come to LA they have other

1:43:19

dreams They want listen

1:43:21

man. The thing is you can I

1:43:24

can knock LA all I want The fact

1:43:26

is LA comics are better performers. They're better

1:43:28

performers. They tell jokes. That's all I want

1:43:30

to hear. Yeah, but they are Like

1:43:34

you see LA guys performing you're like fuck

1:43:37

I wish I was that unchanged I wish

1:43:39

I was that unburdened to be like act

1:43:41

out my jokes like that. Yeah Yeah, but

1:43:43

I also think New York comics are more

1:43:46

like stand-up is more important Yeah I see

1:43:49

like just like the actual stand-up is important

1:43:51

writing jokes and like yeah because when I

1:43:53

was a seller that last time I played the cell that you

1:43:55

know the piano guy. That's there. Yeah, I was doing way too

1:43:57

much I

1:44:00

was doing way too much. Do

1:44:03

I score this? Yeah, yeah. And

1:44:05

he looked at me like, hey, no,

1:44:08

it's not working. My favorite thing

1:44:11

about the seller, and I think this is

1:44:13

in LA too, this is everywhere. My favorite

1:44:15

thing at a comedy club is making sure

1:44:17

the staff is laughing. Ah.

1:44:19

Because if the staff is laughing, you're like,

1:44:21

you guys see all this horseshit. Yeah. So

1:44:24

if they're not laughing, you're like, man, does that joke suck?

1:44:28

Yeah. I'm going to say $3.95, Roddy

1:44:30

Chang. Yeah, I apologize to anyone ever.

1:44:33

Rarely. Rarely. Okay,

1:44:35

thank you. Secondly, I have other issues with

1:44:37

you. So many gripes. I have another podcast ready

1:44:39

for you. It's a

1:44:41

brush. My second issue. My ears are my second

1:44:43

issue. Please. You

1:44:46

do Neil Brennan's podcast before mine? That's

1:44:48

insane. This guy, I also want to

1:44:50

say this, okay? Listen to me, all

1:44:52

right? Oh yeah, I look up to

1:44:54

you. You know me, I grew up

1:44:57

watching you. I have respect for you, okay? I

1:44:59

love all that stuff. That gets to be hard. Okay. But

1:45:02

let me say something. And all these people are like, oh, we're

1:45:04

going to do Neil Brennan's. We do, we're

1:45:06

better. We do better numbers. Do we

1:45:08

do better numbers or no? I think so. First

1:45:10

of all, I don't do podcasts, period. I don't

1:45:13

do podcasts for numbers. I don't give a fuck

1:45:15

about podcasts, okay? I didn't come to America to

1:45:17

get on podcasts. I could

1:45:19

do podcasts back home. You guys came here to do

1:45:21

podcasts. Oh, you came here to- Okay, so I don't

1:45:23

like to do podcasts. So I don't do any- okay,

1:45:25

second of all. Second of all,

1:45:27

it's number one, fuck podcast. Number

1:45:29

one, fuck podcast. Okay, I

1:45:31

came here to be in movies. I make money.

1:45:33

I didn't come here to do podcasts for free. I

1:45:35

didn't come here to help you make money on

1:45:38

your free podcast. All right? I'm not going

1:45:40

to pay for this. Okay, second of all,

1:45:42

all right, when you ask me to do

1:45:44

a podcast, I live in New York City.

1:45:47

I don't live in LA. Everyone in LA

1:45:49

for some reason thinks everybody lives in LA. Everyone's

1:45:52

always like, hey, come and do my podcast. I don't live

1:45:54

in your city, man. How am I supposed to do your

1:45:56

podcast on your city? You have to calm down. Rebuddo,

1:45:59

Bobby. My rebuttal as he what

1:46:01

are you saying is ridiculous and assistance

1:46:03

Okay I'll tell you why are a

1:46:06

number one? Yes, it's free bought right?

1:46:08

It's gonna help you. Okay, Because.

1:46:11

Believe. It or not, right? The.

1:46:13

People don't listen to the spot as are

1:46:15

my fans right? white? Why you have a

1:46:17

garage? Because what were you? Close your eyes

1:46:19

you may claiming his own What you're doing

1:46:22

your favourite. On

1:46:24

after your favor where do each other face

1:46:26

have? What a good I'm going to tell

1:46:28

you how this works. Ok running around about

1:46:30

eight years ago when this new podcast when

1:46:32

I'm out and started was the reason why

1:46:34

a new A Years ago so new one.

1:46:38

with a well on on the

1:46:40

cutting edge of Edo right now.

1:46:43

Speak and so microphones I'm not. I would

1:46:45

go my god how can Oh my God

1:46:47

is a bigger and of T Bitcoin tower

1:46:49

or it So a view of what happened

1:46:51

was the east coast in the west coast

1:46:53

alley. Comedy Senior Com is what we did

1:46:55

was we did each other's podcast. We all

1:46:57

grew together or right? So in my mind

1:46:59

we're a family. And. Cause you know what

1:47:02

family means of the original, What family means

1:47:04

Iowa. I know family of that actually right

1:47:06

will also be what was the hard. Home.

1:47:09

Is where the hardest? okay you might alright a mirage Uma

1:47:11

was he taught my word what I'm talking with i hundred

1:47:14

and of as to what we're doing right now. His. Brothers.

1:47:16

And sisters and eleven of us get together and

1:47:19

help each other by you doing my part as

1:47:21

you're helping me out of I need your help.

1:47:23

Oh. Do me a thought The sabre is go with

1:47:25

this is that's why you're here. Okay, no, no, probably

1:47:27

about a way that I'd love to be your you

1:47:29

ask me. See, I'm like oh my God Bobby Lee

1:47:32

as he put his paw today. The attitudes. Of.

1:47:34

A budget. Tabasco? Yes, I again I don't.

1:47:37

Either I don't know Yet another would

1:47:40

not be your best bet. Is

1:47:43

that I thought I was in a man I'm

1:47:45

I'm a regal so outlasting illnesses necessary though he

1:47:47

knows I just and was made me really like

1:47:49

yeah you're on a Gilbert George or it'll be

1:47:52

legally been A major. Up in Southeast Asia to

1:47:54

know whether you would you throw in the Philippines. Or

1:47:56

is Sylvia oh cool. you are three

1:47:58

or wherever you from Austria. The only

1:48:00

rarely I heard of him as a

1:48:02

it'll be easy at all I know.

1:48:04

yeah there's even a literally do not

1:48:06

understand self is Asia Sedona wearable, a

1:48:08

Bobby singer. I know of his Asians

1:48:10

We get it. Okay salvage all your

1:48:12

i see a movie on because even

1:48:14

without your as the Apocalypse now while

1:48:16

you're doing a reason why you will

1:48:18

a self hating. I love them and

1:48:20

I. Do have a question of worry and for you

1:48:22

all he said on Southeast Asian sell. All

1:48:25

here we go Boys guys. offices less

1:48:27

that you are Chinese hitting every. That

1:48:29

of as. I. Think I think result

1:48:31

often I think. That

1:48:33

bachelor party know I they were handling a i

1:48:35

was dead or cool I think they understand lie

1:48:37

performing adding them agree audiences the the great performers

1:48:39

it may not have fun loving. I got nothing

1:48:42

but good things about Korea's Stormy the I mean

1:48:44

you could argue of maybe they have too much

1:48:46

one the I mean that that that's a lot

1:48:48

of times I gotta get out of one but

1:48:51

as not as it it as a was that

1:48:53

you can civil Korean I'm in. I'll take us.

1:48:55

Three. Eighty Three Trevor Laws big

1:48:58

nose. Tuck your nose outta control.

1:49:02

Of your noses aside, I can deal

1:49:04

with it. Because even

1:49:06

when I was performing as some up

1:49:08

there. Were

1:49:11

no, I don't literally rally eight

1:49:13

minutes indigenous inside, I know. But

1:49:15

I was like onstage. And.

1:49:17

My silent out without him that was the

1:49:19

tip of your nose ring on my side

1:49:21

and goes not good It's not all nine

1:49:23

out of not their knows his leg yours

1:49:25

are all the rage when were who with

1:49:28

her a young would lose really hell when

1:49:30

women are since. I

1:49:32

got to his it's all the race with the

1:49:34

Jews of the earth. Are you like tag And

1:49:36

to a both men obe a girls who like

1:49:38

guys a bigger noses up like I'm never met

1:49:41

a girl who'd been like your nostrils the eye

1:49:43

to. Eye your nostrils. it's because when

1:49:45

you go down on us and especially

1:49:47

from behind the to hit the your

1:49:50

nose touch the ass and we really

1:49:52

pickles it. Was.

1:49:55

Either built environment hit, hit, Ill.

1:49:57

see other buildings second appendage that tickles

1:49:59

ever so slightly the tip of our

1:50:01

assholes and it feels so good. I've

1:50:03

been with a guy who's nose is

1:50:05

massive and I can tell you confidently

1:50:07

that I think about him to this day

1:50:09

solely because of the ass to

1:50:11

nose touching. How

1:50:15

big was his nose? Like a Nigel

1:50:17

Thornberry type of guy? I mean it was the

1:50:20

first thing you saw in a room. I don't think he was

1:50:22

a really big guy so it matched his whole look but it

1:50:24

was Adrian Brody nose. Oh yeah.

1:50:27

But his is an Adrian Brody nose. It's not but

1:50:30

it can touch an asshole. Yeah.

1:50:32

It can touch the fucking back of her

1:50:34

spine from behind her. No you're like a

1:50:36

Lincoln. Memorial? No like an Abe

1:50:38

like you're part of a Lincoln's like face club

1:50:40

or whatever you're a man. You

1:50:43

just have one of those like I

1:50:45

live in the woods. Who else is in that face club?

1:50:47

No I don't have that at all. It's

1:50:50

your face not your body. Okay okay. Your body's no

1:50:52

no your body's like manly.

1:50:54