0:00

What do you think when you hear, The power of

0:02

Christ compels you? The power of

0:05

Christ compels you? For me,

0:07

and I think for many, those words

0:09

conjure up images of projectile vomit. Furniture

0:12

levitating, heads spinning around and around on

0:14

shoulders, people with blood spilling out of

0:16

their mouths, speaking in tongues, dark

0:19

demon-like eyes, children saying the word

0:21

fuck a lot, low

0:23

gravelly voices, and a bunch of

0:25

other creepy, unsettling, spooky shit. I

0:28

think of the ultra-violent exorcism that Hollywood

0:30

delights in making movie after, oftentimes terrible

0:33

movie about, but sometimes they kill it.

0:36

I watched the 2023 horror flick, The

0:38

Pope's Exorcist, to get in the right

0:40

headspace for this episode after Molly Box's

0:42

recommendation, and it was great. Anyway,

0:45

I think of Hollywood when I hear those

0:47

exorcism words, right, horror movies. Some

0:50

great, many not so great, nearly all of

0:52

them claiming to be based on a true

0:54

story. I've actually gotten so used

0:56

to hearing, based on a true story, and

0:58

then seeing a bunch of crazy, over-the-top CGI

1:00

nightmare scenes. Sometimes I forget that

1:03

they actually are based on a true story,

1:05

that there's some truth behind many of these

1:07

stories. At least, you know, people

1:09

are claiming it's true. And

1:11

the truth for these people is that exorcisms

1:13

are real. Not saying with

1:16

scientific certainty that the demons supposedly possessing

1:18

those being exorcised are real, but the

1:20

ritual, at least, is for

1:22

sure real. Exorcism, for sure, they

1:24

do exist, outside of movie

1:27

sets, and are an integral part of the faith

1:29

for many Catholics, and you know, other members of

1:31

Abrahamic religions. In fact, did

1:33

you know that it is required for Catholic

1:35

children to undergo an exorcism prior to getting

1:38

baptized? Now granted, it doesn't look at

1:40

all like the ones we see

1:42

on TV, but it's a form of a minor

1:44

exorcism, technically just the same. The

1:47

rites for the baptism of children in the

1:49

Catholic Church include prayers that designate minor exorcisms,

1:51

prayers that can be used during or before

1:53

the baptism ceremony. So

1:55

that's what they're saying in Latin, right? To hell with

1:57

the devil! on

2:00

TV and in film is a representation of what

2:02

is known as a major exorcism, which

2:04

is only ever used in cases of

2:06

proven demonic possession and can only be

2:09

performed by an ordained exorcist. Now does

2:11

proven mean proven in a laboratory setting?

2:13

No, but damn it, if there

2:15

isn't a lot of spooky as hell stories out there

2:17

that sure make it seem real. I'll

2:20

be sharing a classic amongst those stories today. Let's

2:23

push past the Hollywood glamour and prosthetics and

2:25

fake blood and Russell Crowe and a priest's

2:27

vestment to see what a real Catholic exorcism

2:29

looks like. In today's demonology,

2:32

ethics of theology, get out of

2:34

here devil, edition of

2:36

TimeSuck. This is Michael McDonald and you're

2:38

listening to TimeSuck. You're

2:42

listening to TimeSuck.

2:54

Happy Monday, Medesects. Welcome to the Cult of

2:56

the Curious. I'm Dan Cummins, the suck master

2:58

guy who needs to get some

3:00

new glasses to keep my eyes from being too evil.

3:03

Guy who keeps trying to get Greg to

3:05

wake up, stop screaming to other

3:07

people's nightmares Greg. And you

3:09

are listening to TimeSuck. Hail Nimrod,

3:11

hail Lucifina, praise be to good boy Bojangles and

3:13

glory be to triple N protect us from these

3:16

demons. A couple quick

3:18

things and then today's show. For this month's

3:20

charity announcement, as you know by now, I love New

3:22

Orleans. It's a place that has Lindsay and my souls,

3:24

about to take my grandma there, grab a Betty and

3:27

a place that we love to spend time in when we can. One

3:29

of our favorite places there is Preservation Hall,

3:31

small intimate musical experience like nothing else in

3:34

the world. Through their foundation,

3:36

they aim to protect, preserve and perpetuate New

3:38

Orleans music and culture through musical

3:40

education. Supporting them, supporting

3:42

musicians, supporting history and traditions are all things that

3:44

matter to us here. Also, Tyler

3:46

C. Love this place. So for the month of

3:48

February, in an honor of Tyler moving on from

3:50

Bad Magic, we're going to be donating to the

3:52

Preservation Hall Foundation. Check a lot of boxes for

3:54

us. Donating $12,930 to Preservation Hall and putting $1,430 dollars

4:00

into the scholarship fund. Thank

4:02

you so much to our Patreon Space Lizards

4:04

for making that donation possible. And

4:07

now for this week's merch announcement and

4:09

then it is storytime. Got a giant

4:11

new collection in the store, so many cool

4:13

new designs to choose from adding to the

4:15

ever-growing yearbook collection which already includes time suck

4:18

staples such as Albert Fish, Ed Kemper. We

4:21

now have Jodi Provo Float

4:23

areas, Ronald Dandelion Puff, Dominique,

4:25

Jeffrey Skidmark Lundgren, Alex,

4:27

it's Alec Murdock, Dennis,

4:29

use me already, Nielsen, Rose loves a

4:31

bad boy West and Fred, bad boy

4:34

West. We got the

4:36

Giga Dan T for bigger risted listeners

4:38

out there fucking wrist-mogging people. We

4:41

got the Sweet Riverside Chili Cook-Off

4:43

T for those who know. We

4:45

have a dead giveaway, dead

4:47

giveaway, dead giveaway. And

4:51

how about the 2024 Twin Flames Love Soul Retreat

4:54

Official Ceremonial Attire, also

4:56

a Colonel Danders, some stuff,

4:58

a Time Suck Whiskey Glass, a design that absolutely has

5:00

nothing to do with Pat Sajak, subtle

5:03

office polos and more. So much stuff at badmagicproductions.com

5:05

where you can find our store now. Take a

5:07

browse through the cool designs, also launched a bunch

5:09

of Scared to Death merch for creeps and peepers

5:12

as well. And speaking of Scared to Death, if

5:14

today's subject matter really interests you and you haven't checked

5:17

it out, please do

5:19

check out Scared to Death. Now there are

5:21

new Nightmare Fuel episodes dropped into the Scared

5:23

to Death feed. Fictional Horror written

5:25

and presented by me, fully scored as well

5:27

to add maximum chills. Gonna want

5:29

to put the headphones on when you listen to those if

5:31

possible. That's it. Now

5:34

let's talk about the devil. The

5:36

power of Christ compels you to listen

5:39

to all of today's episodes. To

5:47

begin our venture into the pits of hell and

5:49

the glories of heaven. We're first going to

5:52

lay out the groundwork for what an exorcism actually is

5:54

according to today's Catholic Church. And

5:56

hopefully demystify something that for so many of

5:58

us exists only in the eight. 24

6:00

and Blumhouse Films. Love those production

6:02

companies by the way. We

6:05

will cover how the church defines exorcisms and the

6:07

different types, who's allowed to perform them and how

6:09

they get authorized to do so, as

6:11

well as how the church determines whether or not someone

6:13

is actually in need of an exorcism. After

6:16

that we're going to go through the step-by-step

6:18

process of how an exorcism in a modern-day

6:20

church is performed. We'll examine everything from the

6:22

script the exorcist recites during the ritual to

6:25

who's permitted to be in the room with him

6:27

and to possessed while it happens, to

6:30

what the church says the possessed, i.e. the devil,

6:32

is likely to do and say during an exorcism.

6:35

Then we'll travel down a treacherous time suck

6:37

timeline to investigate how the Catholic exorcism became

6:39

what it is today, along

6:41

our route between the worlds of good and evil.

6:43

We'll also encounter, in addition to more than a

6:45

few nefarious demonic entities, a parallel

6:48

evolution happening as the Catholic exorcism

6:50

developed over time. So did

6:52

the non-Christian public's perceptions of it. During

6:54

the timeline, basically the closer we get

6:56

to the 21st century, we'll unearth more than

6:59

a few instances where things in the secular

7:01

world like pop culture have impacted

7:03

the perception of an exorcism. We'll

7:06

start our journey in the

7:08

first millennium BC with Mesopotamians

7:10

and their tactics for expelling

7:12

evil spirits. After that we'll

7:14

proceed through each major event that impacted the

7:16

evolution of the exorcism, including the birth of

7:18

Christ, approximately 2,000 years ago as well

7:20

as that fateful day in 1973 when

7:23

the supernatural horror classic, the iconic

7:25

movie now, the exorcist, hit

7:28

theaters, became a cultural phenomenon. Because

7:30

today we're only focused on the historical

7:32

and practical aspects of exorcisms. We're only

7:34

going to cover one of many documented

7:36

cases of demonic possession. But don't

7:39

worry, we'll spend a lot of time with it. Almost like

7:41

a mini scared to death episode snuck in here. The

7:44

particular case we'll talk about is that of Robbie

7:46

Mannheim or Roland Doe, who

7:48

was a violent possession at the age of 14,

7:50

inspired the book, The Exorcist, that

7:52

led to the movie of the same name. Finally,

7:55

we'll end the timeline in the year of our Lord 2024

7:57

where demand for exorcisms

8:00

have reportedly increased tenfold. Quick

8:03

heads up for the listener until we

8:05

get to the timeline, when describing Satan,

8:07

God, demons, angels, possession, and exorcism, I'm

8:10

going to do my best to avoid using words

8:12

like supposedly or theoretically or

8:15

presumably. I'm doing this partly because hearing

8:17

according to the Catholic Church and Catholics believe

8:19

that, you know, before nearly everything I say

8:22

about how these entities and rituals work, that

8:24

will get pretty old pretty quick. Also

8:27

doing this in order to convey the information from

8:29

the perspective of the Catholic Church itself instead of

8:31

as an outsider looking in. And

8:33

I will, other than when we're talking about

8:35

pre-Christian history, be focusing pretty much

8:38

exclusively on Catholic exorcism. Other

8:40

branches of Christianity, other branches of Abrahamic religions

8:42

also do carry out exorcisms, but I'm not

8:44

going to get into all that. The

8:47

classic exorcism is the Catholic

8:49

exorcism. No church has

8:52

performed more exorcisms or been

8:54

performing exorcisms longer than the Pope and

8:56

his callered homeboys. With

8:58

all that out of the way, let's get

9:01

started. Well, you know, actually I'm hesitating because technically,

9:03

I believe there were some Judaic

9:06

exorcisms before, but again, it's not the

9:09

totality. It's aligned with the Catholic Church.

9:11

So for you guys who really know your exorcism

9:14

history, I

9:16

think there were some Jewish exorcisms before the Catholic

9:18

Church got actually there definitely were, you know, Jesus

9:20

performed exorcisms before the Catholic Church would think, I

9:22

know, I know, but the

9:24

Catholic Church has the most robust history. So

9:27

what is a Catholic exorcism? Well,

9:30

the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops simply

9:32

says that exorcism is

9:35

a specific form of prayer that the Church uses

9:37

against the power of the devil. In

9:39

the Church, there are two types of exorcism,

9:42

major and minor. I did not know

9:44

that before this week. I was only

9:46

familiar with major exorcisms. I just thought

9:49

that was just what an exorcism was. I didn't know there was a minor in

9:51

major. Which is kind of embarrassing

9:53

to admit for somebody who has co-hosted a paranormal

9:55

podcast that features a lot of demonic possession stories

9:57

for about five years now. Major

10:00

exorcisms are the dramatic ones right the

10:02

scary ones the ones movies get made about

10:05

They reserved only for the most severe cases of

10:08

proven demonic possession and can only be performed

10:10

by a trained priest with the blessing of

10:12

his local bishop in

10:14

an exorcist tells his story by

10:16

the notorious former exorcist of Rome

10:18

the Pope's exorcist AKA

10:21

the guy Russell Crowe. Are you not entertained?

10:24

Portrays in the movie the Pope's exorcist father

10:27

Gabrielle Amorth Defines demonic

10:29

possession as follows in his book published

10:31

in 1999 in exorcist tells

10:33

his story Demonic

10:36

possession occurs when Satan takes

10:38

full possession of the body not the soul

10:40

He speaks and acts without the knowledge or

10:43

consent of the victim who therefore is morally

10:45

blameless It is the gravest

10:47

and most spectacular form of

10:49

demonic afflictions In

10:52

addition to demonic possession there are four

10:54

other types of what father amorth calls

10:56

demonic afflictions also known as Extraordinary

10:59

satanic activity that

11:01

only require a minor exorcism which

11:03

can be like a quick, you know prayer In

11:06

addition to possession which is the only one

11:08

that requires major exorcism the four other types

11:10

of extraordinary satanic activity are

11:13

demonic oppression demonic

11:15

obsession demonic

11:18

infestation and the

11:20

least known demonic Pattycake

11:23

demonic pattycake is when you

11:25

hear a demon nearby and the demon will

11:27

not stop singing Pattycake pattycake bakers

11:29

man Bake me a cake as fast as you

11:32

can pat it prick it and mark it with

11:34

the B Put it in the oven for baby

11:36

and me but the demon does it in like

11:38

a scary voice Pattycake pattycake bakers man

11:40

Bake me a cake as fast as you can pat

11:43

it prick it mark it with a B Put it

11:45

in the oven for baby and me and the only

11:47

way to get the demon to stop is

11:49

to firmly Ask it

11:51

to stop three times. So pattycake pattycake, but

11:53

stop doing that Pattycake,

11:56

I said stop it. Pattycake.

11:58

Stop it. That's enough Alright

12:00

fine. You suck and shit. And then they're

12:02

done. And it's over. Uh, no, the fourth

12:04

one is demonic subjugation. Uh,

12:08

quick note. I

12:10

know that was ridiculous. Even more, even more

12:12

than usual for me. A quick side note. In

12:14

addition to extraordinary activity, there is also what is

12:16

known as ordinary satanic activity.

12:18

That is temptation. Where

12:21

extraordinary activity is rare, even in

12:23

milder types that don't require major exorcisms. The

12:25

devil's temptation is said to be all around us,

12:27

all the time. Okay. Like

12:30

I said, the first type of extraordinary satanic activity that

12:33

only requires a minor exorcism is

12:35

called demonic oppression. In

12:38

cases of demonic oppression, the evil entity

12:40

has not yet infiltrated the victim's body

12:42

or gained control of their actions, but it is

12:45

present in their life. The victim

12:47

still has their autonomy, so they don't

12:49

say or do anything involuntary or unconscious. But

12:52

things like their comfort, health, mental

12:54

state of finances, employment, relationships,

12:57

all impacted by the unholy thing that

13:00

has attached itself to them. Uh,

13:02

the second form of minor activity is called

13:04

demonic obsession. Unlike possession, again, in

13:06

these cases, the victim still has total free will.

13:09

The demon assaults the person instead by

13:12

harassing them with reoccurring and constant evil

13:14

images that it puts into their mind. That

13:17

sounds absolutely terrible. Like having nightmares when

13:19

you're awake. Maybe Carl

13:22

Watts from last week, or Coral, the

13:24

Sunday morning slasher, had a

13:26

case of demonic obsession. Obsession is

13:28

complicated because it often appears to be a prelude

13:31

to possession, but it can also be difficult to

13:33

detect because of its similarities to mental illness. To

13:36

help avoid confusion instead of demonic obsession, some

13:38

exorcists refer to it as psychic

13:40

demonic vexations or interior

13:43

demonic vexations or

13:45

personal demonic infestations. In

13:48

an essay titled, The Extraordinary Ways the Devil Attacks,

13:50

a Head Exorcist in an Italian Diocese,

13:53

Father Paolo Carlin wrote

13:55

that obsessions can take

13:57

on diverse forms, levels and intensities.

14:00

finally completely dominate the mind of the

14:02

person. Given their similarity

14:04

to psychiatric illnesses, the detection

14:06

of diabolical obsessions is

14:09

not always easy. The third

14:11

form of demonic activity is called

14:13

demonic infestation. Unlike the previous three,

14:16

in these cases the demon does not attach itself to

14:18

a person but to a place. Demonic

14:20

infestation can be identified by unexplainable

14:23

sounds, odors, lights, shadows, and

14:25

temperatures. In that same

14:27

essay, Father Paolo writes that other manifestations

14:29

one might experience during a demonic infestation

14:32

are noises or blows

14:34

on the roof, pavement,

14:36

walls, doors, windows, or furniture, showers

14:38

of hailstones that fall as from nowhere on the

14:40

roof or even in the house, noises

14:43

of invisible steps, fireworks

14:45

or explosives, the clanging of

14:47

chains and irons, mysterious voices,

14:50

cries, laughs, or uproars,

14:52

invisible bells that clamor, the

14:55

disappearance of objects that are never found again or are

14:57

found in the most unusual places in the house. Pictures

15:00

that are detached from the walls and fall

15:02

without a comprehensible reason. Underwear,

15:05

sheets, blankets, and chairs that levitate in the

15:07

air, animals such as ravens,

15:09

bats, reptiles, owls, dogs, or cats

15:11

that suddenly appear and soon vanish.

15:14

Sudden, intense, and untraceable burnt odors

15:16

of excrement, sulfur, rotting

15:19

flesh or incest, and so forth.

15:22

Just about every second episode of

15:25

Scare to Death, that podcast contains

15:27

at least one example of a possible

15:29

demonic infestation. The final form

15:31

of demonic activity, which is not included

15:34

on every list but Father Amorth mentioned it, so we'll mention

15:36

it too, is not demonic

15:38

patacake but demonic

15:40

subjugation or dependence aka

15:42

satanic worship. This

15:44

type of demonic affliction is voluntary on the part

15:46

of the human and is most commonly

15:49

achieved by getting in a blood pact with the

15:51

devil or making an open

15:53

and genuine declaration of allegiance and

15:55

reverence to Satan. Demonic subjugation

15:58

as well as demonic infestation. Obsession

16:00

and oppression do not require a major exorcism

16:02

for the evil force can be expelled For

16:05

the evil force to be to be expelled only

16:07

requires a minor one Minor exorcisms

16:10

are used to ward off and weaken evil

16:12

spirits influence on a member of the faithful

16:15

and actually occur fairly regularly in the

16:17

Catholic Church For example, they're the

16:19

baptism priests perform multiple prayers of exorcism

16:21

over both the child getting baptized and

16:23

the salt that is placed in their mouth To

16:26

do so the the priest will recite the

16:28

words This is the

16:30

translation obviously not the original Latin do

16:33

not fuck with his baby demons

16:36

God's vengeance will be swift if

16:38

you shall for everyone baby

16:40

touched by a demon God will

16:42

literally Fuck a thousand

16:44

demons to death in hell not those

16:46

words actually I recite

16:48

these words I exercise

16:51

thee Oh creature salt in

16:53

the name of God the Father Almighty and in the

16:55

charity of our Lord Jesus Christ and in the Might

16:57

of the Holy Ghost I Exercise thee

17:00

by the living God the true God the holy

17:02

God by the God who created thee for the

17:04

protection of the human race That's

17:06

just one example of

17:08

the many minor exorcisms woven into the daily

17:11

fabric of the Catholic faith Exorcism

17:13

is just one small part of a wider

17:15

theological battleground Catholic faith teaches that

17:17

the war between God and Satan is an ever-present one

17:20

and that we are all a part of it

17:22

the faithful and non-faithful like in

17:25

this war demonic possession is just one of the

17:27

many many assault tactics used by the

17:29

prince darkness and his minions against the Light of the

17:31

Lord and major and minor exorcisms are

17:33

just two of the many many defense systems The

17:36

light has in place to protect its people from its mighty

17:38

foe All right, getting

17:40

back to the difference now between major and

17:42

minor exorcisms Like I

17:44

said earlier while minor exorcisms exorcisms

17:47

Help to ward off evil or dilute its influence

17:49

over a person major exorcisms

17:51

are only authorized in cases of

17:54

extreme evil movie

17:56

Maravado Where demon

17:58

is accomplished full possession possession of a person and

18:01

has complete dominion over both their

18:03

soul and their physical body. Although

18:06

both major and minor exorcisms are used to combat

18:08

the devil, they face two very different

18:10

threat levels. Is the bad guy

18:12

coming at you with a small pocket knife or

18:15

does he have a boomstick, a

18:17

gauge in the army of darkness? Because

18:20

of the varying threat level, exorcists approach the devil in two

18:22

very different ways. Minor

18:24

exorcisms are deprecatory, which

18:26

means they are prayers, oftentimes short prayers directed

18:28

at God, not the devil, asking

18:31

him, as in God, to step in against

18:33

the evil spirit afflicting someone. Major

18:36

exorcisms are imprecatory, which

18:38

means they are prayers directed point blank from the

18:40

priest to the devil. Like

18:43

if I was fighting the devil, I might

18:45

be like, God, devil, get, God, get out of

18:47

here rascal, get God, take it off. And

18:49

that would be some imprecatory shit, right?

18:52

Imprecatory shit. There we go. Imprecatory.

18:55

I love these words. They're like, you

18:57

never say in conversation unless you're like

18:59

an exorcist. Imprecatory.

19:03

Imprecatory. God, there we go. The

19:05

St. Paul Center for Biblical Theology describes it like this.

19:07

Major exorcism is imprecatory prayer, a direct

19:09

command. It is critical to

19:11

understand that imprecatory prayer directly commands a

19:14

demon, which is a tacit acceptance to

19:16

a personal battle with that demon. While

19:18

deprecatory prayer asks God to act

19:20

against the demon, which

19:22

brings us to the last big difference between

19:24

major and minor exorcisms. Who

19:27

is allowed to perform them? If

19:29

a minor exorcism is being used for a

19:31

specific sacrament, such as an official

19:33

church ritual, then the only

19:35

person permitted to perform the exorcism is the

19:37

priest or deacon assigned to that specific ritual.

19:40

To be clear, though, it is a free country and anyone can

19:42

say whatever shit they want. The church might not like it,

19:45

but if some demon is after me or somebody I care

19:47

about, I'm gonna say all kinds of shit. I'm

19:49

not gonna ask anyone for permission. God, damn, get.

19:52

The power of Christ compels you to, hehe, y'all,

19:54

the hell outta here. However,

19:56

there are a few prayers of exorcism that Catholics

19:58

are permitted to use in prior... for personal matters.

20:01

Major exorcisms on the other hand, far more

20:03

exclusive, much much more. Before

20:06

we move on, another quick note. Going forward,

20:08

whenever I say exorcism now, solely

20:10

referring to a major exorcism, not

20:13

a minor one. We're done

20:15

with that minor bush league farm team

20:17

bullshit. Only major spooks from here

20:20

on out. Okay, not just any old

20:22

priest. Can be an exorcist. Exorcist

20:24

does need to be an older priest though, but just

20:26

not any old priest. Of

20:28

the approximately 25,000 Catholic priests in the

20:31

US, only 62 of them currently

20:33

are ordained to perform a major exorcism.

20:36

However, that number used to be a lot smaller. 1991, there was one, like

20:40

one dude, one ordained exorcist

20:42

in the entire US. By 2005, there

20:45

were still only 12.

20:47

Who's that one guy? I

20:50

picture some old dude just working overtime, fighting

20:52

demons constantly. Just rushing from one

20:54

exorcism appointment to the next. Just

20:56

so put upon. He's so fucking

20:58

over it. Right? He's just

21:01

so jaded, seen it all. Yeah, yeah,

21:03

yeah. Fuck me. Fuck God. Yada yada

21:05

yada. Damn it, something new

21:07

already, you hacky demon. I think

21:10

I haven't heard all this shit a thousand times.

21:12

Come on. Mark me, priest, and

21:14

the boy dies. Go ahead. I've

21:17

already saved four kids today,

21:19

motherfucker. One dies, my

21:21

batting average, still excellent. Kill the boy

21:23

or get the hell out of here.

21:25

If I miss golden girls again, I'm gonna kill

21:27

myself, find you in hell, and spend eternity tormented

21:29

you. 2012, there

21:31

were only 250 exorcist

21:34

priests in the entire world. 2012, slow

21:37

year, bad year, down year for the devil.

21:41

Same as tired. He was exhausted in 2012. Just

21:43

straight up burnout from so many centuries of

21:45

battling God, or maybe on vacation. Right?

21:48

I don't know. It's got to be exhausting just trying to

21:50

claim all of humanity's souls all the time. I mean,

21:53

he must have paperwork stacked on his hell desk

21:55

that just piles up almost all the way to

21:57

heaven. By 2023, there were 905

22:00

Exorcist in just 11 years, the

22:02

number had already quadrupled. If you

22:04

could buy shares of hell on the stock

22:07

markets, share price soared going

22:09

into 2023. So much extra evil going on, they had to be battled.

22:12

We don't have any stats for the new year, but assuming not much has

22:14

changed, probably from 2023 to 2024. Currently of the 905 Exorcist, 483 are

22:16

in Italy, 48 in Mexico, 46

22:24

in Brazil, like I said earlier, 62 in the

22:26

US, just three in China, two

22:28

in Taiwan, and all the

22:31

rest are scattered globally across 52 other

22:33

countries. Man, so

22:35

much evil in Italy right now. Why

22:38

isn't there a travel advisory? Warning,

22:42

if you are planning on traveling to Italy,

22:44

please be aware that there is an advisory

22:46

in place. Demonic forces have

22:48

taken over much of the country. The

22:51

Vatican has deployed nearly 500 exorcists in

22:53

an attempt to take back control of

22:55

the nation with several cities such as

22:57

Naples, Florence, and definitely

22:59

Pisa are currently controlled by

23:01

the devil. If you still choose

23:03

to travel to Italy, especially Pisa, please

23:06

be on high alert for the sounds of scratching

23:08

in the walls, disembodied voices,

23:11

little girls with heads that spin all the way around, and

23:13

various people usually but not always an

23:16

attractive young woman scantily clad long dark

23:18

hair crawling across a ceiling like

23:20

a creepy nightmare spider. These

23:22

are but a few indicators of

23:24

demonic presence. In

23:27

the last two decades, both the number

23:29

of exorcisms performed and the number of ordained

23:31

exorcists in the US has grown exponentially, a

23:33

trend which many Catholic sources attribute to arise

23:36

in pagan and occult practices

23:38

within our mainstream culture. Fuck.

23:42

How much evil have like

23:45

my Whipple ads alone just

23:47

added to the depraved and

23:49

morally decaying world? Speaking

23:53

of Whipple. Today's time suck

23:55

is brought to you by Whipple! Demon

23:58

of Ditcher! Whipple Demon of Ditcher! This is

24:00

made out of 30% lesser demons, 40% major

24:02

demons, and 50% the

24:04

devil himself. Each 16-ounce

24:07

can of Whipple Demon Edition is packed with

24:09

torment, anguish, sinners being ripped apart,

24:12

a little bit of that green puke

24:14

from that girl C-X-esuit, a tiny bit

24:16

of guava for fucking sinfully delicious

24:18

and delightful flavor. Whipple Demon

24:20

Edition will send your soul to hell forever.

24:23

But before then, it'll allow you to raise

24:25

the dead, curse your enemy, fuck super hot demon dudes,

24:27

and or gossip hell chick, levitate, scare

24:29

the shit out of children with your

24:31

blood-red eyes, and ability to spider-walk up

24:34

walls and across ceilings, and speak any language

24:36

you want with your free fucking ghouls. Fuck

24:39

you, fuck your family,

24:41

fuck your soul, and

24:43

drink Whipple Demon Edition!

24:48

This is a proud subsidiary of

24:50

Bear Evil Incorporated. So

24:53

anyway, there are two ways. I

24:55

haven't done that in a while. Two ways a priest

24:57

can become an exorcist. He can either

24:59

be appointed to the office in perpetuity and

25:01

thus be an exorcist for as long as he

25:03

is a priest. Sounds pretty badass, I

25:06

gotta say. Have that as your exclusive job title. Or

25:09

he can be granted a title for a single occasion. Interesting,

25:12

the substitute teacher equivalent. I'm

25:14

not sure I'd feel great about getting that

25:16

priest, you know, if my kid needed to be exorcised.

25:19

How many times have you done this before? Before?

25:23

Before? No, never. No, this

25:25

is my first exorcism. These things are scary. Hopefully

25:27

my last. Ugh. Don't worry though,

25:30

I watch a lot of movies, and I can probably do it. The

25:33

process of getting a major exorcism approved is a long and

25:35

arduous one. And in most

25:37

cases, if the church or diocese, which

25:39

is an ecclesiastical district under

25:43

the jurisdiction of a bishop, does not have an

25:45

exorcist, which is very common, there's

25:47

still lots of time to call in an already established

25:50

exorcist from a nearby diocese. The

25:52

person who has the power to appoint both career

25:54

exorcists, that's what the church calls them. Or excuse

25:56

me, that's not what the church calls them, that's just what we're

25:58

calling them. one-hit

26:00

wonders is the diocesan

26:03

bishop. And again,

26:05

and I guess he'd be probably God and

26:08

probably the Pope, if he wants to. You know, as

26:10

the Pope was like, Father Randall, I appoint

26:12

you as Exorcist. I doubt some

26:14

cardinals could be like, Shut the fuck up, Pope! It's not your

26:16

job! Stay in your lane, bro! What

26:19

is the diocesan bishop? Well,

26:21

he's one-linked, and all these

26:24

positions are he's, no women's

26:26

bicycles allowed in

26:28

the giant chain of priesthood commands. At

26:30

the bottom of the Catholic hierarchy are the

26:32

faithful who are not part of the clergy.

26:34

Just regular-ass Catholics paying tithes, you know, repeating

26:36

refrains, probably barely ever being

26:39

molested. Just pretend you didn't hear that last part! One

26:42

up from them are the priests. Each

26:44

priest presides over a single church, which is a

26:46

part of a wider territory of churches known, again,

26:48

as a diocese. And the diocese as

26:50

a whole operates under the pastoral control of

26:52

the diocesan bishop. There

26:55

is no hard and fast geographic rule for what

26:57

constitutes a diocese, but you can think of them

26:59

as about the size of small towns. Each

27:02

diocese is part of a wider territory of

27:04

diocese, and altogether they make

27:06

up an archdiocese. Archdiocese is

27:08

presided over by, you guessed it, archbishop.

27:11

Archbishops report to cardinals, some of whom live,

27:13

or at least hold office, in the Vatican.

27:16

Together they compose up the College of Cardinals, and

27:19

many of the cardinals report directly to the Pope,

27:21

and everyone reports to God, but mostly the Pope

27:23

does that. That's a heavily

27:25

summarized... maybe the Pope is best at it, I

27:27

should say. That's a heavily summarized version. It

27:30

just gives us the gist. To dig in

27:32

a lot further, we just, you know, kind of bogged down the narrative too much.

27:35

So only a diocesan bishop

27:37

can appoint an exorcist, but

27:39

it is not required for them to do so. In

27:42

fact, many dioceses do not. Belief in

27:44

the devil as an entity that shows up like it

27:46

does in movies like the Pope's exorcist varies

27:48

a lot amongst Catholics around the world.

27:51

Belief is very strong in Italy, for example, Hence

27:54

why they have so many exorcists. 483 In a nation of 59 million people,

27:56

where 60 to 75% Elimination

28:00

is Catholic. So. On the high

28:02

end a roughly one exorcist. Really ninety two

28:04

thousand people. Believe less drama

28:06

The U S Six you choose Exorcist In a nation

28:08

of thirty Or three hundred and thirty two, My people,

28:11

Were. Between eighteen and twenty three percent of the

28:13

population as Catholic on a high and wrote

28:15

roughly one actresses for every one point two

28:17

million people. Clearly. A lot

28:19

of Catholic diocese either don't believe the devil

28:22

is capable of possessing someone like the seen

28:24

a Hollywood productions here in the Us, or

28:26

think instances of actual demonic possession are exceptionally

28:28

rare. According. To a

28:31

sixteen fourteen with turtle text called.

28:33

As Latins can be tricky. Ah,

28:36

they extra his son. This obsesses.

28:38

Ah damn. And all of. Them

28:42

on the all other are me to probably

28:44

browsing. Let's. Ah, But how it

28:46

online translates to on exercising the possessed

28:48

by the demon. The first

28:50

time the Catholic Church publish how to perform

28:52

their official rights of exorcism. There are a

28:54

few non negotiable qualities a priest must have

28:56

in order to be appointed to the office

28:58

of exorcist. Freeze must be an

29:00

older experience member of the clergy. Exact.

29:03

Age not given of outstanding, reputed

29:05

humble attitude. Especially wise, prudent

29:07

and must be well read. And what the

29:09

Bible and Church had to say about the

29:11

exorcism process? As. Well as be familiar

29:14

with all major cases of demonic possession that the

29:16

church has faced both in recent years. And.

29:18

In the past. Or the excess

29:20

must be equipped to carry his

29:22

work out with charity, humility and

29:25

confidence. Most importantly, Who. The

29:27

priests must have a

29:29

set a giant stone

29:31

balls and be prepared

29:33

to face the devil

29:35

in battle. Head on,

29:37

sir! Are

29:42

in addition these qualities and actresses hopeful must

29:44

in most cases also a prior experience with

29:47

assisting in an exorcism. For

29:49

a great many reasons will soon get into Exes

29:51

isn't are almost never performed by one priest and

29:53

one priest. Loan. And. exes it's usually

29:55

accompanied by one or two as a

29:57

priest who are not ordained axis to

29:59

run forces spiritual power with prayers of their own.

30:02

And if need be to help restrain the

30:05

possessed person, should they become too violent? This

30:08

assistant exorcist, if you

30:10

will, or these assistant exorcists are

30:13

known officially as weak little baby

30:15

priests. Every strong

30:17

manly, tough guy, giant

30:19

stone bald exorcist will

30:22

bring a few weak little baby priests with

30:24

him to, I don't know, just basically give him something to do, you

30:26

know, make him feel important. You know, they can go grab him water

30:28

if he's thirsty. Make him a sandwich if

30:30

he's hungry, rub his back, if he's tense, you know, sore

30:33

and stuff. Weak little baby priests,

30:35

you know, pretty important, part of the exorcism ritual. And

30:38

of course that kid. There's no special title for

30:40

these other priests, for assisting their just, you know,

30:42

just called priest. In

30:45

addition to the exorcist, an extra priest during

30:47

the ritual, the exorcist also usually has a

30:49

small team of other members of the faith

30:51

that he is charged with praying for the

30:53

victim while the case is ongoing. So

30:55

when seeking an exorcist, a bishop looks to

30:57

priests who have already been a member

30:59

of one of these teams who have witnessed the process

31:01

firsthand. In past years, after

31:04

a priest was selected, they were sent to the Vatican

31:06

to be trained in person, now approved

31:08

candidates are able to get approved remotely. Program

31:11

is run by the International Association of Exorcists,

31:13

which of course is based out of the

31:15

Vatican. The aim of

31:18

the course is to ensure well-founded principles

31:20

and safe guidelines of behavior for future

31:22

exorcists by helping them to

31:24

learn those fundamental criteria of discernment in

31:27

the implementation of the delicate and

31:30

difficult ecclesial service that

31:33

will be entrusted to them. In

31:35

addition to teaching the liturgical action of exorcisms and

31:37

how to properly perform them, the course

31:39

is meant to teach candidates how to identify between demonic

31:42

possession and mental disorders. Over

31:44

the years, to their credit, and

31:47

yes, you are hearing me give the Catholic Church a lot

31:49

of credit here, the church has worked harder

31:51

and harder, worked very hard to

31:53

make sure that more people don't die malnourished,

31:55

tortured, tied to a bed because

31:57

they were mentally ill, needed medical attention.

32:00

as opposed to spiritual attention and

32:02

sadly that has happened a fair number of

32:04

times over the years. Alright,

32:07

now to answer the question everyone's

32:09

been waiting for. Why do

32:11

people get possessed? And how

32:13

do they get possessed? Is there a

32:15

way to avoid it? Am I going to get

32:17

possessed? Before answering those

32:19

questions, you have to deal with this sponsor

32:21

break, unless you're a space owner on Patreon

32:23

for five bucks a month. In

32:25

that case, you don't have to hear it and you got

32:27

this episode a few days early. This

32:29

show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm happy to

32:31

say that I have such a solid relationship

32:34

with my wife, Lindsey. But it takes work.

32:36

Our lives are very intertwined. We co-parent together,

32:38

we run a business together, we're together all

32:40

the time and sometimes that leads to a

32:42

lot of stress and sometimes, of course, we

32:44

bicker and get frustrated with one another and

32:46

I'm so thankful I have a therapist Debbie

32:48

to talk to about it all. She

32:50

has shared communication techniques with me on how to approach

32:52

tough topics in a way that is not accusatory or

32:55

inflammatory and I am so thankful for that.

32:58

A common misconception about relationships, any

33:00

relationship, is that they have to be easy to

33:02

be right. But oftentimes, the best ones are

33:04

the ones that take some work. Therapy can

33:06

be a great place to work to the

33:08

challenges you face in all of your relationships,

33:11

whether with friends, work, your significant other or

33:13

anyone. If you're thinking of starting

33:15

therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online,

33:17

designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to

33:19

your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire

33:21

to get matched with a licensed therapist and

33:24

switch therapists at any time for no additional

33:26

charge. Become your own

33:28

soulmate, whether you're looking for one

33:30

or not. Visit betterhelp.com/TimeSuck today to

33:33

get 10% off your first

33:35

month. That's BetterHelp, help.com/TimeSuck.

33:41

Did you know that on average, it takes about 30 days

33:43

for a person to break during New Year's resolution? So

33:46

if saving money was on your 2024 list, your

33:48

odds aren't looking that great anymore. Luckily,

33:50

there's a real easy way to save money this year.

33:52

Just switch to Mint Mobile. For a limited

33:54

time, wireless plans from Mint Mobile are 15 bucks a

33:57

month when you purchase a three month plan. All

33:59

plans are free. come with unlimited talk and

34:01

text plus high-speed data delivered on the

34:03

nation's largest 5G network. And you

34:06

can use your own phone with any Mint

34:08

Mobile plan and bring your phone number along

34:10

with all your existing contacts. That's what I

34:12

did with my iPhone 3G. I've had

34:14

my iPhone 3 since 2008 and

34:16

it still works great. No

34:19

way I want to switch over to something new and you

34:21

don't have to with Mint Mobile. I'm

34:23

kidding of course about an iPhone 3. I have a 13 and

34:25

it still works great after making a

34:28

simple SIM card switch. So switch. It'll

34:30

take you just a few minutes to save 20, 30, 40,

34:33

even 50 bucks or more a month. To

34:35

get this new customer offer and

34:37

your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan

34:39

for just 15 bucks a month,

34:41

go to mintmobile.com/timesuck. That's mintmobile.com/timesuck.

34:44

Cut your wireless bill to

34:46

15 bucks a month at

34:49

mintmobile.com/timesuck. Additional taxes, fees and

34:51

restrictions apply. See Mint

34:53

Mobile for details. Do

34:56

you ever feel like money is just flying out of

34:58

your account and you have no idea where it's going?

35:00

Well, I think I might know what's going on. It's

35:02

probably all those subscriptions. Think about

35:04

it. Between streaming services, fitness apps,

35:06

delivery services, parenting apps, it's endless.

35:09

When I started using Rocket Money, I realized

35:11

I had two Netflix accounts. One I've been

35:13

using for about five years and another I've

35:15

had for over 10 years and totally forgot

35:17

about. Fun. Five years have completely

35:20

wasted money. And if it wasn't for Rocket

35:22

Money, I'd probably still be wasting money on

35:24

a redundant account. Netflix certainly wasn't going to

35:26

tell me. Rocket Money is

35:29

a personal finance app that finds and

35:31

cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending

35:33

and helps lower your bills. Rocket

35:35

Money has over 5 million users and has helped save its

35:37

members an average of $720 a year with over $500 million

35:40

in canceled subscriptions. Rocket

35:45

Money will even try to get you a refund

35:47

for the last couple of months of wasted money

35:49

and negotiate to lower your bills for you by

35:51

up to 20%. Stop

35:53

wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel

35:56

your unwanted subscriptions by going to

35:58

rocketmoney.com. Time

36:00

suck. Whether you're trying to

36:02

save money, eat better or stress less, HelloFresh is

36:04

here to help you do all three. Say

36:07

hello to your most delicious year yet with

36:09

fresh ingredients and chef crafted recipes at a

36:12

price you'll like delivered right to your door.

36:14

Give HelloFresh a try and dig into their

36:16

biggest menu yet with over 45 recipes to

36:18

choose from each week. Like something

36:21

I made last week, chicken sausage, couscous and

36:23

kale soup. Made dinner twice in one

36:25

week for Lindsay, which may not sound like a big deal,

36:27

but a big deal for me. Felt good to be able

36:29

to help out with something other than work. I

36:32

would not have been able to do that

36:34

if I would have had to run out

36:36

to the grocery store and also follow some

36:38

cookbook or magazine recipe. Nope, everything I needed

36:40

was in the HelloFresh box, the show to

36:42

put my doorstep and the step by step

36:44

instructions with pictures included made it so easy.

36:47

It was delicious. The two

36:49

of us had enough for leftovers, so we got

36:51

to eat warm soup on two cold days last

36:53

week. Now, HelloFresh also has

36:55

breakfast. They say breakfast is

36:57

the most important meal of the day and

36:59

HelloFresh agrees. In fact, they're giving all subscribers

37:02

free breakfast for life. That

37:04

means you'll enjoy a totally free breakfast item

37:06

with every single HelloFresh delivery. Go

37:09

to hellofresh.com/time suck free and

37:11

use code time suck free

37:13

for free breakfast for life.

37:16

One breakfast item per box while subscription is

37:18

active. That's free breakfast

37:20

for life at hellofresh.com/time suck

37:22

free with code time suck

37:24

free. HelloFresh, America's number

37:27

one meal kit. Thanks

37:30

for listening. Now, truly time to answer the questions

37:32

everyone's been waiting for. Why do people get possessed?

37:34

How do they get possessed? Is there a way to

37:36

avoid it? Am I going to get possessed? The

37:38

short answer is that if you listen to this show,

37:41

you're clearly not a very righteous person and

37:44

just kind of ballparking it. I'm going

37:46

to say there's a 65 to

37:49

90% chance that you're going to be possessed by demons

37:51

at some point in the next few years. If

37:53

you're not already currently possessed. The devil is

37:55

going to almost certainly make a

37:57

skin house out of your soulless corpse. and

38:00

parade you around like a stupid, foolish, flesh

38:03

puppet. Who you've always been! I'd

38:05

imagine somewhere around 50% of you are fucking

38:08

riddled with demons. Like, stuffed to the

38:10

gills with demons right now. Like, every time you burp

38:12

or fart, one or two lesser demons slip

38:14

on out of you. Tell

38:16

the truth. Ugh. I've

38:19

wondered that about myself sometimes. I mean, who hasn't actually let

38:21

a fart out on occasion? It has like an inhuman odor

38:23

to it. Right? Should be worried. Back

38:26

to the actual information now. The truth is that in

38:28

order to answer the questions how and why people get

38:30

possessed, we first need to understand who and or what

38:32

demons are. But in order to

38:34

understand demons, we first have

38:36

to understand Satan, aka Lucifer, the

38:38

Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles,

38:43

Baphomet, the Antichrist,

38:45

Pasejek, the King of Hell, Old

38:47

Harry. Old Harry really

38:49

is what some people used to call Satan. It

38:52

doesn't back the same punch as some

38:54

of Satan's other nicknames. Begone Satan! Leave

38:57

this place, Prince of Darkness! I

38:59

forsake you back to the pits of hell,

39:01

Old Harry! Also,

39:04

some of the names I listed, like Baphomet, considered to

39:06

be the name of a demon, not the devil himself.

39:09

Now, we don't have enough time to cover the

39:11

Great Deceivers' wretched backstory in its entirety. It's frankly too

39:13

long and too confusing, but we'll cover

39:15

the most basic premise of it. We all

39:18

know that Satan was once God's favorite. In

39:20

fact, he was once the most perfect being created by the

39:22

hands of the Lord and in Heaven's hierarchy

39:24

surpassed all other angels.

39:28

He was once, if you will, God's

39:31

goody-two-shoes-daddy-boy-sweetie-pie-angel-buddy-doot. But

39:33

my, how he has changed. His

39:36

name wasn't Satan. As an angel in

39:38

Heaven, he was Lucifer. Interestingly

39:40

in early translations of the Bible, in

39:42

the late 4th century Vulget, prepared

39:44

largely by Saint Jerome, one of the first translations of

39:46

the Bible in the Latin, Lucifer appeared

39:48

not as the name of a devil, but

39:51

as the Latin word Lucifer, uncapitalized,

39:53

meaning the morning star, the planet

39:55

Venus, Or as an

39:57

adjective, light-bringing. The

40:00

grew dissatisfied with his position and haven't as

40:02

powerful as he was. He didn't want to

40:04

be subservient to God. He wanted to be

40:06

got. He had a beagle bigger than As

40:08

wingspan. And he started a rebellion

40:10

to usurp his creator. Gordy.

40:12

The Book Of Revelation A Thirty Angels

40:14

Join Satan is unsuccessful insurrection and as

40:16

punishment both he has mutinous followers were

40:18

thrown out of heaven and into the

40:20

bowels of hell for eternity. Revelations.

40:24

Twelve. Seven Or seven To ten.

40:27

And. War broke out in heaven Michael as a

40:29

little spot with the dragon and the dragon and

40:31

is angel spot but they did not prevail. Nor

40:34

was a place found for them and haven't

40:36

any longer. So the great dragon was cast

40:38

out that serpent of old called the devil

40:40

and Satan. Who deceive the whole world?

40:43

He. Was tasked to the earth as angels were cast

40:45

out with him. Since

40:48

and Satan is fucking demon, Do dips

40:50

it. Friends have only had one goal:

40:52

To. Enslave and torment all of humanity by getting

40:55

them to obey their God and turn their souls

40:57

over to him in L. A.

40:59

Statement from The Fourth Ladder and Council of

41:01

Pope Innocent A Third. Explains Lucifer

41:03

his posse like this: The

41:06

devil and the other demons were treated good

41:08

by God, but it became evil. Through

41:10

their own fault. Okay, expected to

41:12

be a little longer but odessa it's Ah. While

41:14

most is that are Satan to be a metaphor

41:17

for evil, an abstract conceptual these of morality according

41:19

to scripture. That's. A heresy scene is

41:21

not about for. His real living

41:23

entity, who we all must be wary of

41:25

less we fall prey to, was evil ambitions.

41:29

Our that is a mean that there is of

41:31

disagreement him within the clergy about the specifics of

41:33

Satans life. And. How big of a

41:35

threat it poses to mankind. For instance,

41:37

Father Moore's. Six. Very liberal or Turkey's

41:39

passed away but took very liberal stance on how

41:41

gods favorite fell from grace in an Exorcist Tells

41:44

the story he wrote that not only was Satan

41:46

the most perfect in powerful being created by God

41:48

but didn't have any as he had an actual

41:50

thrown to sit on. And was in

41:52

charge of governing certain dominion's and principalities.

41:55

As you claim, you know this I would guess

41:57

is a study of the teachings of various theologians.

42:00

Many of them from Medieval Europe and to

42:02

biblical interpretation. And he

42:04

wrote God Never rejects is creatures. Therefore,

42:07

Even though they broke with God, satanist,

42:09

angels maintain their power in ranked those

42:11

thrones, dominion's and principalities even if they

42:14

use them for evil purposes. And

42:17

regarding the devil's evil purposes father a

42:19

more rights. St. Augustine does

42:21

not exaggerate when he claims that if

42:23

God gave Satan a free hand, know

42:25

mail be left. the lights. Meaning

42:27

of Satan had does power he was. Humanity

42:30

would already be lost. Jobs

42:32

us aden just can't kill us all Willy

42:34

nilly he drives the next best thing to

42:36

up his asked me or or sky daddy.

42:39

And as to get us to disobey, god, turn our

42:41

backs on the Lord's just as he did, He

42:43

was somewhat success with Adam and that oh

42:45

gee shrub slut eve. If.

42:48

You know it else. Ah it it seemed you

42:50

continue to be successful until Christ came along. The

42:52

stabs to kingdom of God on earth. a spiritual

42:55

realm for a lonely earthly meet. Sachs. Were.

42:57

God rains is t. However,

43:00

Although Jesus destroyed the work of the devil and

43:02

establish the kingdom of God on Earth, that wasn't

43:04

the end of the battle and the war between.has

43:07

Fallen Angel is still ongoing? This

43:09

because between the last time he to stop

43:11

Ice and his next scheduled visit the second

43:13

coming see the Tried gathers many souls as

43:15

he can't use and war against his enemy.

43:17

And. His arrogance. He thinks he can destroy God

43:20

and destroy anything and everything he has at

43:22

humanity. To prepare for his big fight. A.

43:24

Coward for all of us. But. He's

43:27

make a lot harder push for some of us some

43:29

of our souls and others are saying does not target

43:31

a single ruby targets or people no matter where they

43:33

live, how the arts or what they believe. In.

43:36

One interview Pope Francis said. What

43:38

is certain is that the Devil tries to

43:41

attack everyone without distinction. And tries

43:43

above all to strike those who have more

43:45

responsibilities in the church when society. We are

43:47

human beings and he will always try to

43:50

attack us. So. I tried

43:52

to attack everyone. He tried lot

43:54

harder. He prefers to target the

43:56

most faithful and or and or

43:58

most important people. And

44:00

out. It's off. Guard

44:03

You're actually because I don't. I. Don't

44:05

ever been targeted. You. Know the kind

44:07

of bothers me? The Dell has come after me. I.

44:09

Mean, it's be able to. The other thing

44:12

is that governments who gives a shit that

44:14

losers complete waste my time. Lucky

44:16

to be a bob. I'm carry a

44:19

while me my feelings I wouldn't hurt a little bit.

44:21

Easy. Water my eyes as allergies mad bro I

44:23

I be around out as gay. Or

44:26

anyway, state is waging war against the

44:28

lights does not care how many casualties

44:30

are caused. your left in his past

44:32

total Dominion, total domination. so we tax

44:34

on a global scale. However,

44:36

according to the church during periods of

44:39

great sinfulness, savings presence is more evidence

44:41

and apparently we are currently. In.

44:43

One of those periods. That way so

44:45

much good music as be made right now. It's

44:47

always easier than it's ever been in my

44:49

lifetime to find good quality party drugs. Psychedelic?

44:52

Is that why there's so many fun says

44:54

Twist on the market right now. Privilege rates

44:56

are so much Hi def totally free porn

44:58

or between the best buys on the plants.

45:02

Or thank you say I guess. I know,

45:04

demonic possession or not. Fun. but middle of a

45:06

sudden. I that. Hills

45:09

Athena. Or in addition

45:11

to an increase in Western consumers materialism,

45:13

Socialism, Communism in Hedonism, Satan success is

45:15

largely attributed to a decline of the

45:17

number of people worshipping the Christian God

45:20

v as a Catholic church. And.

45:22

Before I share with father more has to say about

45:24

that's I want to add I'm not surprised at all.

45:26

the communism. Is. On the list of sit

45:28

him six o'clock news evil. Suitable.

45:30

Jungles, Our yard

45:32

in a different as autism father more

45:35

rights. We can see the proliferation especially

45:37

among the young of spirit isn't witchcraft?

45:39

The. Colt Yoga. To.

45:42

Xin. Transcendental. Meditation.

45:45

These. Are all practices based in reincarnation on

45:47

dissolve in the human person into divinities

45:49

or in any case another doctrines that

45:51

are unacceptable. To. Christians. I

45:54

don't think it's one of the yoga that's thrown in there. Me:

45:58

I guess I'm not totally surprised that yielded will sit here. I.

46:01

Mean see whether Yoga pants? Sometimes.

46:03

For sure gives me devil sauce! Filipino.

46:06

Far Liver helped popularize Yoga Pants

46:08

or thank you. Back to original

46:10

question: Why/how do people get possessed.

46:13

Father. More describes for primary reasons:

46:15

people fall victim to extraordinary satanic

46:18

activity. The first reason? Simply

46:20

the God. Allows it. In. These

46:22

cases the victim is completely blameless and had done

46:24

nothing to increase his or her chances of demonic

46:26

of which. Is simply fallen prey

46:28

to the external actions of the free will

46:30

have and devil. Ah, but

46:33

also your center. right? All

46:35

have you. Seen. Is what allows all

46:37

possesses a place. So maybe you're not one

46:39

hundred percent completely blameless If they're just never

46:41

ever seen once in your life not one

46:43

time he be okay. Or

46:45

this through send delegates influence it eventually

46:47

dominion over someone soul. Which. Opens him

46:50

or her up to possess. You

46:52

get randomly possesses. Important Note: This doesn't mean that

46:54

God is a band In the person who randomly

46:56

afflicted. Bathroom. With Rights or

46:58

Nothing happens without our permission.

47:01

Dot always allows normalcy, tannic, active, and

47:03

gives us all the grace is necessary

47:06

to resist it. Was. The resulting

47:08

good of strengthening our spiritual life

47:10

in the same manner God at

47:12

times also allows extraordinary seats Hennig

47:15

activity. To. Increase our humility,

47:17

patience and mortification. Interesting. So to

47:19

god he a roundabout way calories

47:21

me able to porn right now.

47:24

Goddamn. Want to stab at? I'm here.

47:27

I mean to increase art you know of humility

47:29

of course, but you are. The next reason people

47:31

get possessed is because they don't go pp in

47:33

the party like two boys. Dot.

47:35

Hates it. We'll the pv an apology boys or

47:37

like a good girl. And. He will for

47:39

sure allow the devil to slap your soul. Run Torme. Know.

47:42

Or the next reason people who possess is

47:45

because or the target of an evil spell.

47:48

Always those the first category. People subjected to

47:50

a curse are in no way guilty for

47:52

their current condition. However, unlike

47:54

the first category where the only autonomous

47:56

action comes from Satan any faces other,

47:58

some human activity. When someone

48:01

falls under an evil spell and becomes possessed, it

48:03

is because another person has invoked the devil and

48:06

beseached him to intervene on their behalf. Should

48:09

be noted that far from all members of the church

48:11

or even members of the clergy do believe that evil

48:13

curses cast by humans are like a thing, a possibility.

48:16

This belief is much more prevalent in medieval times. So

48:20

if you do get cursed, take some comfort

48:22

in knowing that there's a real good chance that literally no

48:25

one is going to believe you. If

48:27

you get cursed, please take some comfort

48:30

in knowing that you are fucked. No one is

48:32

going to ever help you. I guess that's

48:34

probably not very comforting. The final

48:36

reason that people get possessed is because they associate

48:38

with evil people or evil places. Father

48:41

Amorth writes that this

48:43

category includes the practice or assisting

48:45

in the practice of seances, witchcraft,

48:47

satanic cults or sex, which

48:49

culminate in black masses, the occult, as

48:52

well as associated with warlocks, witch

48:54

doctors, or certain types of card readers.

48:57

These are all activities that make us vulnerable to evil

48:59

spells. If we go so far as

49:01

to desire a relationship with Satan, there is

49:03

such a thing as consecration to Satan,

49:06

the blood pact with Satan, attendance at

49:08

satanic schools, and the

49:10

election to the priesthood of Satan. Father

49:13

Amorth's words here have really led to me

49:15

doing a lot of serious reflection, a lot

49:17

of contemplation. I had to

49:19

ask myself over the last few days, have

49:21

I ever associated with

49:24

warlocks? And you know what? I

49:27

don't know. I honestly don't know. I feel stupid

49:29

saying this, but I don't think I've ever screened my

49:31

friends and family for warlocking or

49:34

for witch doctoring. And that's a big mistake, as I'm

49:36

seeing now. When I get home

49:38

tonight, I'm going to make sure that neither Lindsey

49:41

nor my daughter Monroe are fucking warlocks.

49:44

If either one of them says

49:46

yes or I don't believe them when they say

49:48

no, immediate punch to the face, be gone, warlock!

49:50

Get out of here! To hell with the devil!

49:55

To hell with

49:57

the devil! crystals.

50:00

Tools witchy. Makes me

50:02

nervous. Also, can dogs be warlocks? If

50:05

one of my dogs is a warlock, oh, it is for sure,

50:07

Penny Pooper. Gingerbell, much too sweet. Or

50:09

is that a trick? I

50:11

might have two of the warlock doodles at home. Sorry,

50:14

I'll try and push pause on my sarcastic bullshit. After

50:16

this next thing I'm going to say. Satanic schools? I'm

50:19

pretty sure that's not a thing. If

50:21

you know of any Satanic schools, please shoot me an

50:23

email or DM with the link. I'd be curious what

50:25

you're studying. I'd love to hear more about it. Okay,

50:29

now that we know who Satan is, what he

50:31

wants, why he goes around possessing folks, let's meet

50:33

the last piece of the possession puzzle, the fucking

50:35

demons themselves. According to

50:37

prominent Italian 13th century Dominican friar,

50:39

priest, philosopher, theologian, version,

50:42

Thomas Aquinas, demons like

50:44

Satan were made by God and

50:46

they were made to be good. Also like Satan, they

50:48

became evil through their own fault. Demons

50:51

are the angels that joined Satan, as I mentioned, in his

50:53

rebellion against God were cast out of heaven for doing so.

50:56

In hell, they continue to be subservient to

50:58

their Prince of Darkness. Despite

51:01

their excommunication to the underworld, demons

51:03

still maintain some angelic qualities though.

51:05

For instance, a lot of

51:07

them can still play real mean harp. Check

51:10

out this little ditty recorded by the

51:12

demon Gargamel. I mean, Gamagon.

51:24

Nice, soothing. I mean,

51:26

not bad. Apparently

51:29

completely self-taught. Color

51:32

me impressed, demon. Color me

51:34

impressed. Wow. Okay. Real

51:37

quick before I move on from this silliness, when

51:39

I tried to figure out how to properly say

51:41

the demon Gamagon's name, I

51:44

can't cross this video that was cracking

51:46

me the fuck up. This channel is Working

51:48

Dragon Mystic and the

51:51

video is titled The Demon Gamagon slash

51:54

Saminga. This

51:56

one always found interesting because if you'll notice with... the

52:00

Goetic Sigils when you look them up

52:02

on Google or anywhere, you'll notice the

52:05

name of the entity is a round

52:07

the sigil. There

52:11

is a G in the names of this so

52:13

it never really caught my attention. However, when

52:16

I was working with this entity

52:19

and talking with it, the

52:21

entity corrected me on its name

52:23

and asked me to please call

52:26

it Samgyna. I

52:29

kind of turned me off for a little

52:32

bit but when I looked at the sigil,

52:34

I realized if you look around the border,

52:36

the sigil I was using and online that's

52:38

actually what's on the border of most of

52:41

them. How nice of a demon to really

52:43

point out like that. No,

52:46

no, no. Samgyna

52:48

or whatever the fuck he said. Samgyna.

52:52

Samgyna, there we go. Thank you, Dragon

52:54

Mystic. Dragon Mystic, by the way, looks like a satanic

52:56

private detective from the 1940s. Very

52:59

interesting. I like it.

53:03

It's just, you

53:05

know, it's unique. Okay,

53:07

like angels of light. Demons

53:10

are immortal and powerful. Each has unique capacity

53:12

for knowledge, intelligence, and skill. Additionally,

53:15

angels, demons also desire to be part of a hierarchy,

53:17

hence their allegiance to Satan. Someone likes a

53:19

little structure. Children, students,

53:22

demons. All demons,

53:24

including Satan, who is demon himself, albeit the

53:26

most powerful, also have the ability

53:28

to change to take on any desired form, including

53:30

that of an angel of light. Although

53:32

demons are sexless, it is also possible for them

53:34

to appear in the form that is alluring and

53:37

beautiful to someone in order to seduce someone into

53:39

sin. Hey, elusive fata. If

53:41

I do have to be attacked by a demon, I want

53:43

to be a sexy ass lady demon. Much

53:46

of our Western conceptualization of demons' appearance comes from

53:49

artists and authors from centuries far removed from the

53:51

writing and or compilation of the Bible, such

53:53

as Francisco Goya's 1798 painting,

53:56

The Witch's Sabbath, which depicts

53:58

a goat, Satan, large horns

54:00

and a crown of oak leaves, sitting

54:02

like a human man with some witches laying around him. While

54:06

the devil is rarely depicted in any form with a

54:08

biblical basis, the association between demons

54:10

and horns actually does have its roots in the

54:12

Bible. Revelations 13.1,

54:14

for example, describes a beast rising

54:16

out of the sea with ten horns and

54:18

seven heads, and on its horns

54:20

with ten diadoms, and on

54:22

its heads with blasphemous names. Sounds

54:25

like Cthulhu's cousin, some kind of Lovecraftian

54:28

monster. Later, Revelation

54:30

13.11 details another demon that rose out

54:32

of the earth. It had two

54:34

horns, like a lamb, when it spoke like

54:36

a dragon. Although the

54:38

Bible doesn't give any exact statistics about exactly

54:40

how many demons are roaming around in hell,

54:43

philosophers, theologians, priests, preachers throughout the centuries, random

54:45

dipshit like me have made guesses, based

54:48

on the biblical statement that a third of heaven's angels were

54:50

cast down to the underworld, in 1467, Spanish priest Alfonso Dispina

54:56

claimed that the total

54:58

population of demons was 133,316,656, and

55:01

that's a shit ton

55:05

of demons. Not sure what

55:07

kind of special demon calculator helped him get to that

55:09

number. 1583,

55:11

another estimation was put forth by physician Johann

55:13

Wier. Johann Wier,

55:16

who declared that there were 4,439,622 demons

55:19

in total. That's

55:24

way less. How did that guy come up with that number?

55:26

Well easy. He said there were

55:28

66 demonic nobles who governed 666 different

55:31

demonic legions, and each legion comprised of 6,666

55:33

individual lesser demons. A

55:37

lot of demons still. Now

55:39

those exorcist totals, you know, that went

55:41

over earlier seem extremely low. Back

55:44

in 1991, the US had one ordained exorcist, even

55:46

though there were 253 million people in

55:49

a world of 5.4 billion people,

55:52

right? A lot of souls that were at

55:54

least 4.5 million demons in the world, possibly

55:56

so many more, since the US had

55:58

4.6, The World's Population. That means

56:00

that it also has a little rough to

56:02

our thousand payments. Over. To or

56:04

thousand a month. For. One actresses.

56:07

That. Just like I must die to deemed exhausted. Maybe.

56:11

Were fewer demons back then others? Quite a bit. A

56:13

debate. On. Whether or not the total

56:15

number of demons remains constant and six for

56:17

changes. Some argue that because

56:19

demons or the original fallen angels, none can

56:21

be subtracted or added the ranks. Thus,

56:24

The number of how many than there are never changes. Others

56:26

argue that because there are, they are occasion referred

56:29

to as evil spirits in the Bible. That

56:31

means that a malevolent and sinful person. Could.

56:34

Maybe. Become. A demon in the afterlife?

56:36

How many of the serial killers the we've covered

56:38

here are still fucks with people on earth as

56:41

demons. Sunday. Morning Slasher from last

56:43

week. Oh. For. Sure demon right now. This.

56:45

Possible. Some also think

56:48

that sometimes demons or creed when humans

56:50

suck angels. Or an Eagles. Fuck

56:52

him. It's not good. It's ah. this does actually happened.

56:54

The Bible. Genesis. Six vs

56:56

one two or one to to read. When.

56:59

Men began to multiply on the face of the

57:01

land. The daughters were born to them. The.

57:03

Sons Of God saw that the daughters of

57:06

men were beautiful and they took wives for

57:08

themselves whomever they chose. And. His

57:10

sons God seen by many his angels.

57:13

See. When angel hybrid I pauses or doesn't actually have

57:15

lot of supporters. them. Which. Is bummer. the

57:17

salisbury on. Whether or

57:19

not Demons can also be in addition to fallen

57:21

Angels, the spawn of the Sons of God and

57:23

the Dollars Man or the Hostile Souls The Dead

57:26

One thing pretty ever see agreed upon by believers.

57:28

Is. There's blocked on of them. Spices

57:30

are the bible though are only mentions if

57:32

you by name. The Demon a bad

57:34

and. For. Example reference in Revelations

57:37

Nine Eleven, where he's described as

57:39

the Angel of the Bottomless Pit

57:41

are destructive force from the underworld

57:43

whose main prerogative as inflicting whoa

57:45

would despair upon mankind. His.

57:47

Name is derived from the Hebrew word for destruction

57:49

of doom. Also described as

57:51

the king of an army of locusts.

57:54

And a double date is described

57:56

as a destroyer of souls. or

57:59

described as an insatiable entity, always lusting

58:01

for more power, more destruction, more pain.

58:05

Interestingly, some Methodist and Jehovah's Witness

58:07

publications have described a

58:09

baden as one of God's angels, though, not

58:12

one of Satan's minions, described as a

58:14

powerful warrior entity who fights not for the devil

58:16

but for God, a destroyer of evil forces. Another

58:20

demon called out by name in the Bible is Molech,

58:23

who is at his most powerful during the reign of King Solomon.

58:26

Molech is a particularly fucked up demon and demonology lord

58:28

because his favorite thing to do is trick people into

58:30

thinking he's a god of light and worshipping him and

58:33

eventually, you know, tricking them into sacrificing their

58:35

children in his name. Molech

58:37

was once an ancient Canaanite deity, often

58:40

depicted as a bronze bullheaded idol with

58:42

outstretched hands over a fire. And

58:44

there are so many other demons that come mostly

58:46

from the musings of medieval theologians or cultists. Many

58:50

of the names of demons spoken about in demonology

58:52

circles today come from the lesser key of Solomon.

58:55

In anonymously authored grimoire, a book

58:57

of magic or sorcery that names

59:00

72 powerful demons, such

59:02

as Zippar, a great

59:04

Duke of hell who commands 26 legions

59:06

of inferior spirits. He's

59:08

a demon of lust and sodomy who loves to trick

59:11

women by showing up as their lover and

59:13

then leaving them barren with his touch. Black.

59:17

The demon from the Conjuring universe shows up in the

59:19

lesser key of Solomon. He is

59:21

a great president of hell, mighty having

59:23

30 legions of demons under his command,

59:25

often depicted as a small boy with

59:27

angel wings riding a two headed dragon,

59:30

or maybe as a scary ass demon nut

59:33

in recent days. Then

59:35

there's Greg.

59:37

Greg is the sleepiest of all sleepy ass demons.

59:40

Greg demon appears as a normal looking dude, shows

59:43

up in places where people are about to

59:45

get murdered in order to give victims false

59:47

hope and have them think there's someone nearby

59:49

who is going to call the police or

59:51

help them in some way like a fucking

59:53

normal person would, but Greg instead just nods

59:55

off and falls asleep after seeing you start

59:57

to be attacked. He doesn't do shit.

1:00:00

And just straight up just lets you get murdered. Little

1:00:03

nod to last week's sucker if you're very curious what the hell

1:00:05

I'm talking about right now. During

1:00:07

exorcism, if a demon reveals

1:00:09

his name to be one from the Bible

1:00:11

or traditional name for Satan, such as Beelzebub,

1:00:13

Lucifer, Zebulun, Meridian, Asmodeus,

1:00:17

then that means they are especially powerful and difficult

1:00:19

to exorcise. Although evil takes

1:00:21

many forms and acts in unpredictable ways, there

1:00:24

are a few things an exorcist can be sure to

1:00:26

expect from a demon during an exorcism. First

1:00:28

of all, the demon will do everything he can to avoid

1:00:30

being discovered. Often times it's

1:00:33

not until the power of the exorcism ritual makes it

1:00:35

suffer so much that the demon is forced to reveal

1:00:37

itself, but even then it might take a few

1:00:39

tries. Father Amorath writes that

1:00:41

sometimes it is not until the second or

1:00:43

third blessing that the demon will reveal

1:00:45

itself. He writes that, At

1:00:48

times the revelation is progressive. Some possessed

1:00:50

appear to have a different sickness at

1:00:52

each session. Some possessed individuals

1:00:55

are silent and immobile, and if

1:00:57

provoked, any reaction is limited to the eyes. Others

1:01:00

fling themselves about, and unless they are held down,

1:01:02

they harm themselves. Others wail, especially

1:01:04

if they are blessed with the sign of the

1:01:06

cross or with holy water. During

1:01:09

an exorcism, demons are also very reluctant to talk. If

1:01:12

one does speak, it will continue to lie about its identity

1:01:14

until it is no longer able to. It

1:01:16

will also do everything it can to distract the

1:01:18

exorcist from his task and avoid his questions, hurl

1:01:20

threats of harm and perversion at him, and reveal

1:01:23

the ugliest sins of each person in the room.

1:01:26

Can you imagine if that actually happened to you?

1:01:28

Like if some person, seemingly possessed by a demon,

1:01:32

revealed some deeply held secret of yours,

1:01:35

something that you had never told anyone.

1:01:37

Like you knew it couldn't know that

1:01:39

naturally. Don't lecture me about God, banana

1:01:42

peel fucker. Do you still think

1:01:44

about Veronica and her big titties when you see a

1:01:46

banana Daniel? Do you still want him? Do you want

1:01:48

to take it into the grocery store and fuck the

1:01:50

peel? Right, and then everyone present

1:01:52

the exorcism and just staring at him like, what? What

1:01:55

did that demon just say? I

1:01:57

don't know. That was weird. That's crazy. Is

1:02:00

it the David things that I did? I w

1:02:02

I never did. That's really weird. Are

1:02:04

you going to also denies sloppy your stepmother, throw

1:02:06

pillows that you're. Going. To bed

1:02:08

soon. Daniel sets at this is crazy size

1:02:10

clearly died about a possession does the ramblings

1:02:13

of other medley of our i'm Sick of

1:02:15

the or Scissors, the deadly not us demon

1:02:17

present. lose weight of our time to go

1:02:19

home and eat five or six or your

1:02:21

dad jokes when you when used no one's

1:02:24

looking and an act like you don't know

1:02:26

why your weight is not going down Dad

1:02:28

your. Saw. For real though

1:02:30

some have started look at all fucking crazy and

1:02:32

assorted sharing secrets of mine I knew I had

1:02:34

not solely one. Oh that changed my life lock.

1:02:37

I. Know a very firm believer. Devil.

1:02:39

Demons.all of it for the rest of my life.

1:02:42

They'll. Be the most terrifying but also maybe we're

1:02:44

to say about demonic possession but. Most.

1:02:47

Beautiful. The. Series of my

1:02:49

life Like undeniable proof. Of.

1:02:51

The supernatural. How cool! I.

1:02:53

Mean, I'm even if revealed in a horrifying

1:02:55

way. How amazing to really know. That.

1:02:58

A world apart from science one hundred percent

1:03:00

exists. A tell tale

1:03:02

verbal sign of a demonic presence? is it

1:03:04

they're able receive me that they're unable to

1:03:07

speak Holy name's. Instead the demo only

1:03:09

for to God and Jesus as he. Marries.

1:03:11

Her. Or. You know slurs? ah

1:03:14

what a demon strength and hold on their

1:03:16

victim begins to weaken. The rhetoric will change

1:03:18

Father A More Rights. For

1:03:20

a demon to leave a body and go back

1:03:23

dell means to die forever and to lose any

1:03:25

ability to molest people actively. He

1:03:27

expresses his desperation during exorcism with words

1:03:29

such as these: I am dying I

1:03:31

am dying. I can't take it any

1:03:33

longer enough. You are killing me. You

1:03:36

are murderers, hangman, all priests, a murderous

1:03:38

and similar senses. And

1:03:40

heard about that before that? The Demons best Hell Forever.

1:03:43

Now works the movies. Or

1:03:45

Nellis go over step by step on how to

1:03:47

perform an exorcism. according to the. Again,

1:03:49

The latin coming up? these

1:03:51

if so a sundays of

1:03:54

sissies or dumps de mani

1:03:56

or. On. Exercise the possessed

1:03:58

by the demon. Published. And sixty. 14

1:04:00

the first official version of the

1:04:02

ritual this version of the right

1:04:04

of the exorcism actually went unchanged all the way until

1:04:06

1999 When

1:04:09

it was completely rewritten by the Holy See the

1:04:11

central government of the Catholic Church led by the Pope The

1:04:14

title of the new version of the

1:04:16

ritual is more Latin de exorcimis. It's

1:04:19

so placan supplication

1:04:21

bus quiz bust um

1:04:24

Something like that or of exorcisms

1:04:26

and certain supplications Although

1:04:28

it's acceptable to use either addition we're gonna focus on

1:04:31

the English translation of the original 1614 text

1:04:34

and then just give a brief summary of how the 1991 or 1999 one

1:04:36

differs the

1:04:39

exo the sadness Begins

1:04:42

with some preliminary instructions for the exorcist and

1:04:44

reiterates the qualities He should have we

1:04:47

went over these a little earlier But

1:04:49

just to recap the exorcist should be

1:04:51

old well read devout humble someone swinging

1:04:53

a huge pork sword aka Tube steak

1:04:55

aka love baton aka one-eyed wonder weasel

1:04:57

over those giant stone balls and

1:05:00

have exceptional integrity Just forget

1:05:02

about the winner talk the introduction to the ritual offers a

1:05:04

very brief warning to the exorcist Claims

1:05:07

that he should not believe too readily

1:05:09

that the person is possessed by an evil spirit

1:05:12

But he ought to ascertain the signs by which

1:05:14

a person possessed can be distinguished from one who

1:05:16

is suffering from melancholy or some other illness As

1:05:20

we'll see later This was one thing the 1999

1:05:22

revision made significant changes to in the ritual where

1:05:25

the original is not unconcerned But less concerned

1:05:27

with the possibility of misdiagnosing an exorcism the

1:05:30

new version puts Ensuring that a person is

1:05:32

actually possessed and not suffering from any mental

1:05:34

or physical ailment is a top priority for

1:05:36

the exorcist in fact the

1:05:38

1614 day exo Rosandis Even

1:05:42

warns the exorcist that the devil might try to trick

1:05:44

him by making the position appear

1:05:46

like a worldly condition such as mental illness It

1:05:50

says the evil spirits place whatever obstacles

1:05:52

they can in the way So

1:05:54

that the patient may not submit to exorcism

1:05:57

or try to convince him that his affliction is a natural

1:05:59

one The Devil Might also

1:06:01

tried to deceive the exorcist by answering this question

1:06:03

in confusing and maddening ways so that he gives

1:06:05

up or by making the victim appear to be

1:06:07

liberated. Before I read what the

1:06:09

book says about this, I need to share something. Not

1:06:12

kidding. As I first began to work on

1:06:14

this part of the notes, and as I'm

1:06:16

recording this one just like yesterday afternoon for me, I

1:06:18

looked at it in my backyard. I'm sitting at home

1:06:21

working on it, and I watched – I think it

1:06:23

was a small hawk, pretty small, land on what looked

1:06:25

like a sparrow. I'm not a bird expert, so

1:06:27

who knows if I'm getting these bird names right. But one

1:06:29

bird about the size of what – a small hawk I

1:06:31

think is – landed on another bird that seemed to be

1:06:33

about the size of a little sparrow just straight up fucking

1:06:36

smashed him. And the bigger bird

1:06:38

seemed to squeeze and suffocate the smaller bird

1:06:41

with its talons, and it just

1:06:43

fucking stood there seemingly staring at me through the

1:06:45

sliding glass door standing on this little bird that's

1:06:47

fluttering, trying to get away as it's dying. And

1:06:49

then the bird stops fluttering, and this creepy bigger

1:06:51

bird flies off with the dead little bird in

1:06:54

its talons. That happened right as

1:06:56

I'm getting to this part. Like, never ever have seen

1:06:58

that happen in my yard before or in anybody else's

1:07:00

yard. It was creepy-ass timing.

1:07:03

The devil sent me a message, and

1:07:06

now here's what the book says about the

1:07:08

demon tricking the exorcist. Once

1:07:13

in a while, after they are

1:07:15

already recognized, they conceal themselves

1:07:17

and leave the body practically free

1:07:19

from every molestation, so

1:07:22

that the victim believes himself completely delivered.

1:07:25

Sometimes the devil will leave the possessed person

1:07:27

in peace, and even

1:07:29

allow him to receive the holy Eucharist to

1:07:32

make it appear that he has departed. In

1:07:35

fact, the arts and frauds of

1:07:37

the evil one for deceiving a man

1:07:39

are innumerable. Another

1:07:42

way a demon might try to trick the exorcist is

1:07:44

by insisting that it is not a demon, minus said,

1:07:46

claimed to be a spirit of a saint, deceased

1:07:49

loved one, even an angel from heaven.

1:07:51

But no matter what, the exorcist must

1:07:53

never give credence to the devil. The

1:07:56

preliminary instructions also include a short list

1:07:58

of potential signs of possession. possession, and

1:08:00

these are the ability to speak with

1:08:03

some facility in a strange tongue or

1:08:05

to understand it when spoken by another,

1:08:08

the faculty of divulging future and hidden events,

1:08:11

display of powers which are beyond the

1:08:13

subject's age and natural condition, and various

1:08:15

other indications which when taken together as

1:08:18

a whole build up the evidence. Like

1:08:21

we went over earlier, the exorcism should take place in

1:08:23

the church, but if the victim is too weak to

1:08:25

be moved, then their home is acceptable. Either

1:08:27

way, it should always be performed in private. If

1:08:30

the victim is in good enough physical health, then

1:08:32

in preparation for the exorcism as well as during

1:08:34

it, they should fast regularly, go

1:08:36

to confession as often as they can, and receive

1:08:38

holy communion as much as possible. During

1:08:41

the exorcism, the priest should keep a crucifix at

1:08:43

hand. If it is possible,

1:08:45

they should also take the relics of saints,

1:08:47

such as their personal items or manuscripts, secure

1:08:49

them in a safe container, and

1:08:51

place them on the breast of the victim. It

1:08:54

is vital that no harm is done to the holy objects. The

1:08:57

exorcist should also only stick to the script during the

1:08:59

ritual, even if he is tempted, he

1:09:01

should never ask, quote, superfluous questions,

1:09:03

superfluous questions, excuse me, or questions

1:09:05

that are prompted by curiosity, particularly

1:09:08

if they pertain to future and

1:09:10

hidden matters, all of which

1:09:12

have nothing to do with his office. Instead,

1:09:14

he will bid the unclean spirit keep

1:09:16

silence and answer only when asked. However,

1:09:20

there are some questions. The exorcist is authorized to

1:09:22

ask the demon. For example, it is

1:09:24

acceptable to inquire about the names of the demons.

1:09:26

How many of them there are when

1:09:28

they possess the victim and why they possess the

1:09:30

victim. And yes, multiple demons. You

1:09:34

can be possessed by more than one demon by

1:09:36

legion of demons. You can have a

1:09:38

demon orgy going on inside you. The

1:09:40

exorcist is also permitted to ask through

1:09:42

what means the demon is possessing the victim and,

1:09:45

quote, command the devil to tell whether

1:09:47

he is detained in that body by

1:09:49

necromancy, by evil signs

1:09:51

or amulets in the

1:09:54

Catholic Church. Amulets can be defined as any

1:09:56

sort of perceived to be magical object associated

1:09:58

with superstition and therefore paganism. In

1:10:00

today's world, an example of an amulet that would be seen

1:10:02

as heresy by the church is the evil eye, a

1:10:05

talisman shaped like an eye thought to protect

1:10:07

people from the evil eye. Evil

1:10:09

eye as supernatural belief that a malevolent

1:10:11

glare can be a sign that you're being cursed. The

1:10:14

belief has existed since prehistoric times with amulets to

1:10:16

protect against this dating back about 5,000 years. The

1:10:20

use of crystals, Lindsay, also

1:10:23

prohibited. The

1:10:25

anti-amulant and subsequently anti-magic charges date back

1:10:27

to the 4th century AD when the

1:10:29

church decreed that members of the clergy

1:10:32

were forbidden to be sorcerers, conjurers, or

1:10:34

to wear amulets. Should a member

1:10:36

of the clergy be found practicing magic or wearing

1:10:38

slash owning an amulet, they will

1:10:41

be excommunicated. They

1:10:43

are very souls condemned to be separated

1:10:45

from God's love forever. Now

1:10:48

you might be asking yourself, doesn't the Catholic church basically have

1:10:50

amulets of its own? Like the pictures of

1:10:52

medals of saints or those relics of

1:10:54

martyrs we were just talking about aren't those

1:10:56

basically amulets? Well the church would say no. No

1:10:59

they are not. According to multiple sources, unlike amulets,

1:11:01

these objects are not thought to have any inherent

1:11:03

power or divinity within them or

1:11:06

simply just by themselves can ensure anything

1:11:08

like safety or success. They

1:11:10

are used, quote, not because it

1:11:12

is believed that any divinity or virtue is in them

1:11:14

for which they are to be revered or

1:11:16

that anything may be asked from them or

1:11:18

that any confidence can be placed in the images, but

1:11:21

because the honor which is exhibited to them

1:11:24

is referred to the prototypes which they represent.

1:11:26

Just a little reminder, you know, to be a good

1:11:28

person because you got a little picture of a good person, hang around your neck. Okay,

1:11:32

back to the 1614 day,

1:11:34

exsora sandes. It

1:11:36

goes on to say that should an amulet be assisting

1:11:38

the devil in possessing the victim? It must

1:11:40

be removed immediately. If

1:11:42

it is found that the victim has ingested the

1:11:44

amulet, sounds painful, then quote,

1:11:46

he should be made to vomit them. The

1:11:49

exorcist always being conscious of the potential requirements,

1:11:51

this be done by a competent physician. If

1:11:54

he has them concealed on his person, he should expose

1:11:56

them and when discovered they must be burned.

1:11:59

The victim should reveal to the priest if

1:12:01

he feels tempted to continue hiding the amulet or

1:12:03

to ingest it again. During

1:12:06

the exorcism, the exorcist should pose every question,

1:12:08

prayer, demand, and threat with the commanding and

1:12:10

authoritative voice. Prior to the

1:12:13

start of the ritual, the exorcist should also know

1:12:15

the full proper name of the victim as well

1:12:17

as their nicknames so they can address what they

1:12:19

say directly and distinctly to them and not to

1:12:21

the demon. The

1:12:23

Exorcandes warns that the

1:12:25

more authoritative the priest is, the more vex the demon

1:12:27

will become, and the more it

1:12:29

will try to undermine his power by, with a,

1:12:31

like a better word, a goofing off. In

1:12:34

that case, the priest should do his best to ignore and

1:12:36

denounce the devil's games and mockery. Quote,

1:12:39

As for all jesting, laughing, and nonsense on the

1:12:42

part of the evil spirit, the

1:12:44

exorcist should prevent it or condemn it, and

1:12:46

he will exhort the bystanders, whose

1:12:48

number must be very limited to pay attention to

1:12:51

such goings on. Neither are they

1:12:53

to put any questions to the subject. What

1:12:56

kind of nonsense demons get up to? Now

1:12:58

I'm picturing some possessed person standing up doing a

1:13:00

lot of fucking big hip gyrations and thrusts, you

1:13:03

know, weird grin on their face while saying super weird

1:13:05

nonsensical shit like, I bet you wish you could chew

1:13:07

on an ice cream, don't you priest? Chew it up

1:13:09

and spit it out. And then they pretend

1:13:11

to ride an invisible horse just around

1:13:14

the room. It's just what a sexy monkey looks

1:13:16

like. Auntie Roger still skinned, but you can't guess

1:13:18

by a tojamb, can you priest? And it's like

1:13:21

weird giggles and shit. What

1:13:23

is this Father Saduchi? It is

1:13:25

nonsense, Father Luigi. This is demonic

1:13:27

nonsense. If any

1:13:29

swelling, irritation, cuts, bruises or other physical wounds appear on the

1:13:31

body of the patient or in the ritual, then

1:13:34

the priest should trace the sign of the cross over the

1:13:36

afflicted area and sprinkle it with holy water. Although

1:13:38

the exorcist is not required to trace the sign of

1:13:40

the cross using oil that has been anointed, it is

1:13:43

advisable. One of the

1:13:45

few people permitted to attend the exorcism is the

1:13:48

exorcist assistant who can either be another exorcist

1:13:50

or more likely just an experienced

1:13:52

priest. The assistant's primary job

1:13:54

in addition to prayer is to restrain

1:13:56

the victim should the demon become exceptionally

1:13:58

violent. Additionally, the assistant

1:14:00

is tasked with keeping the holy objects like

1:14:02

the cross, holy water, saints' relics on hand

1:14:05

and safely guarded. Because

1:14:07

of the sanctity and potential danger of the exorcism

1:14:09

ritual, the priest, assistant, and victim should be the

1:14:11

only people present for it, that is,

1:14:13

unless the possessed person is a woman. If

1:14:16

that is the case, then the exorcism is required

1:14:18

to also be attended by several reputable female

1:14:23

relatives of the woman, quote, who

1:14:25

will hold on to the person when she is harassed

1:14:27

by the evil spirit. Can't have

1:14:29

the priest touch her. Can't leave those priests around a possessed

1:14:31

lady. The devil would

1:14:34

certainly use her to test their

1:14:36

ability to remain celibate, to resist

1:14:38

seduction. In

1:14:41

order to protect himself from Satan's cunning, the ritual

1:14:43

book also says that the

1:14:45

exorcist should be prepared to have the demon

1:14:47

reveal the exorcist's sins, especially

1:14:49

those which he has forgotten and not confessed

1:14:51

and those for which he has not received

1:14:53

absolution. It therefore is

1:14:55

prudent that the exorcist confess and receive

1:14:57

absolution immediately prior to each exorcism session,

1:15:00

but not merely to avoid embarrassment, but

1:15:02

primarily to protect his own immortal soul.

1:15:05

And that is exactly what Russell Crowe had to deal with in

1:15:07

the Pope's Exorcist. Once

1:15:09

the exorcist is fully prepared to take the devil head on,

1:15:12

he can begin the ritual. For

1:15:14

the exorcism of a single individual, the priest begins

1:15:16

by tracing the sign of the cross over himself,

1:15:19

over the possessed person, and over

1:15:21

the bystanders, and then sprinkles everyone with

1:15:23

holy water. The possessed person should

1:15:25

be placed before the priest, either standing, sitting, laying

1:15:27

down, or if need be, restrained in

1:15:29

either of the last two positions. The

1:15:32

exorcist then kneels and prays the litany of saints,

1:15:34

and after each line, the bystanders

1:15:36

in the room recite the accompanying response. The

1:15:39

prayer starts with, Lord have

1:15:41

mercy on us. And all the

1:15:43

bystanders repeat, Lord have mercy on us. Christ

1:15:46

have mercy on us. Christ

1:15:48

have mercy on us. And then it goes on for

1:15:50

122 more verses of call and response. The

1:15:53

final line, the bystanders recite is, deliver

1:15:55

us from evil. After

1:15:58

that, the exorcist delivers Psalm 53. which

1:16:00

is meant to imbue those present with courage

1:16:02

against powerful forces of evil and recites a

1:16:04

prayer asking for strength from God. The

1:16:07

Exodus then speaks directly to the

1:16:09

demon reciting, I

1:16:11

command thee unclean spirit whosoever

1:16:14

thou art along with all thine associates

1:16:16

who have taken possession of this servant

1:16:18

of handmade of God that by the

1:16:20

mysteries of the incarnation passion resurrection and

1:16:22

ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ by

1:16:24

the descent of our holy spirit by

1:16:26

the coming of our Lord into judgment

1:16:29

thou shalt tell me by some sign

1:16:31

or other thy name in the day

1:16:33

in the hour of thy departure I

1:16:35

command thee more ever to obey me

1:16:37

to the letter I who

1:16:39

though unworthy am a minister of

1:16:42

God neither shalt thou be emboldened to

1:16:44

harm in any way this creature of

1:16:46

God nor the bystanders nor any of

1:16:49

their possessions. Pretty

1:16:52

cool shit. After that

1:16:54

the Exodus reads at least one of the selected passages

1:16:56

from the Gospels over the possessed person the

1:16:58

exorcist and fortifies himself and the

1:17:00

possessed person by making the sign of the cross placed

1:17:03

in the end of his stole like that long narrow

1:17:05

scarf like vestment that symbolizes the priest's authority and role

1:17:07

as a mediator between God and the people on the

1:17:09

neck of the victim his right hand on

1:17:11

their head and speaking another prayer imploring

1:17:13

God to help with what is to come next

1:17:16

then the priest begins reciting the first actual

1:17:19

prayer of exorcism it's

1:17:21

approximately 2000 words long broken up into three

1:17:23

sections can be repeated as many times as

1:17:25

needed until the victim is delivered from

1:17:27

Satan's grasp although it does

1:17:29

incorporate a few more prayers to God this portion

1:17:31

of the ritual mostly consists of commands and threats

1:17:34

addressed directly to the devil that's like

1:17:36

what we were talking about earlier with right

1:17:38

major exorcisms being imprecatory this is

1:17:40

where the priest strengthened by the light of

1:17:42

God enters a one-on-one battle with the demon

1:17:45

to force it out instead of asking God

1:17:47

to do it for him the first

1:17:49

section begins with the

1:17:52

priest commanding i

1:17:55

cast thee out on clean spirits go

1:17:58

on and get your little evil rascal Get

1:18:00

the heck out of here, you naughty little bad boy!

1:18:02

We don't ever go pee-pee on a party know-how. You

1:18:05

quit it! You just quit it! In the name of

1:18:07

Lord Jesus Christ, I need you to not get the

1:18:10

heck off! No one likes

1:18:12

you here! You little liar, liar, pants on fire

1:18:14

wicked pervy-based boy! I

1:18:16

choose what it looks like. I

1:18:18

cast thee out, thou unclean spirit,

1:18:21

along with the least encroachment of the

1:18:23

wicked enemy and every phantom and diabolical

1:18:25

legion. In the name of our Lord

1:18:27

Jesus Christ, depart and vanish from this creature of God.

1:18:30

For it is he who commands thee, he who

1:18:32

ordered thee, cast down from the heights of heaven

1:18:34

into the nethermost pit of the earth. Hence,

1:18:37

pay heed, Satan, and tremble, thou

1:18:39

enemy of the faith, thou fold

1:18:41

the human race. For thou

1:18:43

art the carrier of death and the robber of life,

1:18:46

thou art the shirter of justice and

1:18:48

the root of all evil, the forementer

1:18:50

of vice, the seducer of men, the

1:18:52

traitor of the nations, the instigator of

1:18:54

envy, the fount of avarice, the source

1:18:57

of discord, the exciter of sorrows. More

1:19:00

intense shit. The Exodus then

1:19:02

makes a sign of the cross three times over, the brow of

1:19:04

the possessed person, should the victim resist. The

1:19:07

assistants will step in to ensure they receive the blessing

1:19:09

by holding them down. In

1:19:12

the next part of the Exodus, the Exodus beseeches God to

1:19:14

look upon his son or daughter who has fallen prey to

1:19:16

Satan. Quick side note, each

1:19:18

time the pronoun of the victim is used,

1:19:20

the original text indicates he or she, however, that's getting really

1:19:22

clunky to read, so I'm just going to read it like

1:19:24

a priest would for a male victim. And

1:19:27

for demonstration's sake, we'll just make up a totally random

1:19:29

name that I'm just going to pull out of thin air for

1:19:32

our victim today, a name I sure

1:19:34

can't recall ever using before. How

1:19:36

about we, I don't know, how about we

1:19:38

just go with Patrick

1:19:42

L. Sajak. Let's

1:19:44

say Patrick L. Sajak is possessed because he's been

1:19:46

doing a bunch of nasty occult shit. Let's

1:19:49

say he pretends to be some super wholesome dude, but

1:19:52

really, no one's

1:19:54

watching. When he's not a public eye, he

1:19:56

has kids in cages, in a secret basement, but he's

1:19:58

his house, and with his wife. and kids and

1:20:00

grandkids aren't around, he heads downstairs and he

1:20:02

fucks those kids and kills him and he

1:20:05

drinks their blood and he does all that to please

1:20:07

his lord and master Satan. Let's just say

1:20:09

all that about Patrick L. Sajak. And then

1:20:11

one day some co-worker of Patrick L. Sajak named,

1:20:13

I don't know, whatever, Vanessa

1:20:16

and Whitey notices that Patrick is

1:20:18

for sure possessed by demons and

1:20:20

an exorcism has to be done. Now

1:20:22

that this made up scene has been set during

1:20:25

this part of Patrick L. Sajak's exorcism, the

1:20:28

exorcist beseeches God to look upon his son

1:20:30

or daughter who has fallen prey to Satan. The priest would

1:20:32

recite this, O God, creator and

1:20:34

defender of the human race, who

1:20:36

has formed man in thine image, looked down

1:20:38

with pity upon this thy servant,

1:20:40

Patrick Leonard Sajak, who we often call

1:20:43

Pat, for he has fallen prey

1:20:45

to the craftiness of an evil spirit. The

1:20:47

ancient adversary, the arch enemy of the

1:20:50

earth, enshrouds him in shuddering fear. He

1:20:53

renders his mental faculties befuddled.

1:20:55

He keeps him bewildered by making him so afraid.

1:20:58

He holds him in a state of perturbation. Perturbation,

1:21:01

yes. As he strikes terror within

1:21:03

him, drive out, O Lord,

1:21:05

the power of the devil and banish his

1:21:07

artifices and frauds. Let him the wicked tempter

1:21:09

be routed afar by the sign of

1:21:11

thy name. The exorcist makes the sign of the cross in the

1:21:13

victim's brow. Let thy servant be

1:21:15

protected and safeguarded in both body and soul. Prayer

1:21:18

goes on for a bit longer. The

1:21:20

exorcist is tracing the sign of the cross over the

1:21:23

possessed person's breast at three different times. In

1:21:25

the next section, the exorcist again addresses the

1:21:28

demon directly. It is also the longest

1:21:30

passage he has instructed to recite without interruption. A

1:21:32

portion of it reads, I

1:21:34

adjure thee, thou ancient serpent, by the judge

1:21:37

of the living and the dead, by thy

1:21:39

own creator, by the creator of the world,

1:21:41

by him who has the power to consign

1:21:43

thee to hell, that thou

1:21:45

speedily depart in trembling, along with thy

1:21:48

raving followers. From this servant of God,

1:21:50

Patrick Leonard Sajak, whom we often call

1:21:52

Pat, who has done terrible unspeakable things

1:21:54

to children, but now, who

1:21:56

seeks refuge in the bosom of the church. Jew

1:22:00

of the once more, not by my own weakness,

1:22:02

but by the might of the Holy Spirit. Be

1:22:04

gone from this servant of God, Patrick Leonard Sajak,

1:22:08

who the Almighty has made

1:22:10

in his image. Yield therefore

1:22:12

yield not to myself, but to the minister of

1:22:15

Christ. For it is the power of Christ that

1:22:17

compels thee. The Exorcist then

1:22:19

recites another prayer with the bystander before

1:22:21

continuing to the last exorcism. I

1:22:25

cast thee out, every unclean spirit,

1:22:27

every phantom, every encroachment of Satan, in

1:22:29

the name of Jesus Christ. For

1:22:32

thee, O evil one, and for

1:22:34

thy followers there will be worms which never perish.

1:22:38

For thee and for thine angels is made

1:22:40

already in unquenchable fire, because thou art the

1:22:42

prince of a cursed murder. Thou

1:22:45

the author of lettery, thou the

1:22:47

leader in sacrilege, thou the

1:22:49

model of vileness, thou the

1:22:51

teacher of heretics, thou the inventor

1:22:53

of every obscenity. Depart

1:22:56

then, O evil one, depart a cursed one.

1:22:59

Depart with all thy falsity, for God

1:23:01

has desired that man be his temple.

1:23:03

Be gone now, be gone thou seducer.

1:23:06

Thy places in solitude, thy dwelling in

1:23:08

the serpent. Man thou

1:23:10

canst betray, but God thou canst not

1:23:12

mock. It is he that drives thee out,

1:23:14

for whose eyes nothing is

1:23:17

hidden. The bedeath person

1:23:19

is fully liberated from the demon. The exorcist is encouraged, but

1:23:21

not required, to repeat three prayers over

1:23:23

the victim, and the bystander is as many

1:23:25

times as he deems necessary. The

1:23:28

three prayers are the Our Father, the

1:23:30

Hail Mary, and the Athanasian

1:23:32

Creed. After that, he is instructed

1:23:34

to recite in order Psalms 90, 67, 69, 53, 117, 34, 30, 21,

1:23:43

3, 10, and 12. A

1:23:46

lot of stuff. And the very last

1:23:48

thing the exorcist says during the closing of the

1:23:50

ritual is the prayer following deliverance. We

1:23:53

beseech thee, O almighty God, that the spirit

1:23:55

of inequity may no longer

1:23:57

have any power over thy servant.

1:24:00

Patrick, Leonard, Sajak, but

1:24:02

rather that he may depart afar and never

1:24:04

more return. As I command,

1:24:06

O Lord, let there enter into this

1:24:09

man a disposition to goodness, finally, and

1:24:11

the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ, by

1:24:13

whom we have been redeemed. And

1:24:15

let us fear no evil, because the Lord is with us. Who

1:24:18

liveth and who reigneth with thee in the unity of

1:24:20

the Holy Spirit, God, for endless ages? And

1:24:23

then everybody responds with, Amen. Okay,

1:24:25

that was the 1614 exorcism rite. When

1:24:29

the revised version of the ritual was released,

1:24:31

I mean, condensed, obviously, when the revised

1:24:34

version of the ritual was released in January

1:24:37

of 1999, it caused some controversy. In

1:24:40

a 2002 edition of Latin Mass Magazine,

1:24:42

one article, I haven't read it, surprisingly, one article

1:24:45

describes the new rite of exorcism as

1:24:47

defective, laughable, scandalous,

1:24:50

and dishonest. Some

1:24:53

things that angered people the most about the new revision

1:24:56

was that 12 of the 21 steps in

1:24:58

the preliminary instructions were removed, more

1:25:00

emphasis placed on identifying the difference between

1:25:02

mental illness and possession and consulted with

1:25:04

medical professionals, and that much

1:25:06

of the language was simplified to make the ritual

1:25:08

easier to understand and more accessible. Many

1:25:10

argue that because exorcism should only be performed by this

1:25:12

like few, whether or not the

1:25:14

ritual is easy to perform is irrelevant. In

1:25:17

regards to this, part of that 2002 article

1:25:19

reads, the preface

1:25:21

of the new edition provides translation of the

1:25:23

rite into myriad languages. But what

1:25:26

on earth for? If an exorcist

1:25:28

does not know enough Latin to perform the prayers in

1:25:30

Latin, he should not be appointed

1:25:32

to the office. Fucking

1:25:34

boom! Yeah! Mic

1:25:36

drop, what he said. Take that, Pope. Good

1:25:39

folks at Latin Mass Magazine, not afraid

1:25:41

to speak their minds. Now

1:25:44

let's keep this demon train. Moving down

1:25:46

the hell tracks and jumping to our

1:25:48

TimeStuck timeline to investigate how the Catholic exorcism

1:25:50

became what it is today. Here

1:25:54

are today's second of two mid-show sponsor

1:25:56

breaks. Bread! Who

1:25:58

doesn't love bread? I love it.

1:26:00

I love toast, butter, peanut butter, and honey if

1:26:02

I want something hearty. Butter, cinnamon, and

1:26:05

sugar if I want to treat. I love

1:26:07

sandwiches, tuna fish, egg salad, lunch

1:26:09

meat, grilled sandwiches, grilled ham and

1:26:11

cheese. Yes, please. Alongside a

1:26:14

bowl of soup, I love a slice of

1:26:16

bread with butter and some strawberry jam. Delicious.

1:26:18

But I don't eat bread nearly as much as I

1:26:21

used to because the carbs make me too sleepy. And

1:26:23

I'm trying to lose some of that gut weight. Cannot

1:26:26

wait for my hero bread. My first

1:26:28

loaves should be at my door by

1:26:30

the time you hear this. Hero bread

1:26:32

makes the delicious favorites free of consequences

1:26:35

or compromises. Zero to one

1:26:37

grams of net carbs and high

1:26:39

in fiber. Delicious and flavorful. The

1:26:42

soft, fluffy experience you love when

1:26:44

enjoying a refreshing BLT, savory breakfast

1:26:46

burrito, or mouthwatering cheeseburger. Something for

1:26:49

every craving, including sliced bread loaves,

1:26:51

buns, and tortillas. Monthly

1:26:53

small batch drops of indulgent favorites

1:26:56

like the two-gram net carb hero

1:26:58

croissant or the one-gram net carb

1:27:00

hero cheddar biscuit. Don't give

1:27:02

up being a breadhead. Hero bread is offering

1:27:04

10% off your order. Go

1:27:06

to hero.co and use

1:27:08

code TIMESUCK at checkout.

1:27:11

That's TIMESUCK at hero.co.

1:27:19

Thanks for listening, supporting this

1:27:21

show, and now it is

1:27:23

TIMESUCK DEMON TIMELINE TIME. Shrap

1:27:27

on those boots, soldier. We're

1:27:30

marching down a TIMESUCK timeline.

1:27:39

In ancient Mesopotamia, during the

1:27:41

first millennium BC, Sumerian exorcists performed ceremonies

1:27:43

to expel demons from the bodies of

1:27:45

the innocent. While

1:27:47

I think most of us link exorcisms so strongly to

1:27:50

Christianity, specifically to the Catholic

1:27:52

Church, they were happening prior to Christianity.

1:27:55

Back then in Mesopotamia, which was largely made up

1:27:57

of what is now Iraq, Kuwait, and Syria, Magic

1:28:00

was an integral part of the culture and an everyday reality

1:28:02

for the people that live there. When something

1:28:04

unfortunate happened to you, you

1:28:06

got sick, you got a broken arm,

1:28:08

your crops failed, or your

1:28:10

livestock started acting weird. That meant that

1:28:12

a gosh dang demon had taken up residence

1:28:15

in your body or on your land or in

1:28:17

your, you know, pig or whatever. The

1:28:20

demon might have been acting on its own free will, but it

1:28:22

also could have been sent by a sorcerer, a warlock. Right,

1:28:24

and that pissed you off. Although

1:28:27

Mesopotamian exorcists occasionally were associated with a particular

1:28:29

temple, they mostly just worked independently. Private

1:28:31

contractors, right, had their own clients. During

1:28:34

exorcism, only the exorcist and the client could be present

1:28:37

and the rituals lasted anywhere from a few hours to

1:28:39

a couple of days. Through

1:28:41

a series of incantations, the exorcists would

1:28:43

call upon an element like oil or

1:28:45

fire or an actual deity

1:28:47

to aid them in their cause. The

1:28:50

exorcism would end with the demon getting imprisoned within

1:28:52

an inanimate object like a wooden figurine which was

1:28:54

then burned or thrown away. How

1:28:58

many little demon boxes are now buried beneath the desert

1:29:00

out there? Sounds like the start of

1:29:02

a scared-of-death story. In

1:29:04

the last couple centuries, prior to the birth of Jesus, exorcisms

1:29:06

show up in the Jewish faith, even one

1:29:09

of the 48 Jewish prophets, King Solomon, born

1:29:11

approximately 970 BC, reportedly

1:29:14

performed multiple exorcisms. King

1:29:17

Solomon the Demon Slayer! A lot

1:29:20

of demon talk around Solomon. The

1:29:22

Lesser Kia Solomon I mentioned is based on the Testament

1:29:24

of Solomon, a book said to be

1:29:26

written by King Solomon, son and successor of King

1:29:28

David, the man who built the first temple in

1:29:30

Jerusalem. And in the

1:29:33

Testament of Solomon, Solomon battles so many demons. The

1:29:36

book begins when a demon named Ornias harasses a

1:29:38

young man who is favored by Solomon by

1:29:41

stealing half of his pay and sucking out his

1:29:43

vitality through the thumb on his right hand. Solomon

1:29:47

prays the temple received from the archangel

1:29:49

Michael a magic ring with the seal

1:29:51

of God in the shape of a

1:29:53

pentagram, which will enable him to command

1:29:56

the demons. Solomon lends the ring to

1:29:58

the lad who by throwing the ring at the demon Ornias, who is the king of the gods, Flavius

1:30:00

stamps him with the seal and brings him

1:30:02

under control. Then Solomon orders the demon, or

1:30:05

Neus, take the ring, and

1:30:07

similarly imprint the Prince of

1:30:09

Demons, Beelzebul. With

1:30:11

Beelzebul, not spelled Beelzebub in this book, under his

1:30:13

command, Solomon now has all the demons at his

1:30:15

bidding to build the temple. And

1:30:17

Beelzebul reveals that he was formerly the highest

1:30:20

ranking angel in heaven. And

1:30:22

a bunch of demon shit happens in this book. A

1:30:24

lot of exorcisms. A man named

1:30:26

Flavius would also write about Solomon and his demon fighting

1:30:28

ways about a thousand years later. In

1:30:31

94 AD, Jerusalem, born Flavius Josephus,

1:30:34

wrote a 20-volume work that describes the history of

1:30:36

the Jewish people from the creation of Adam and

1:30:38

Eve, as it is described in the Hebrew Bible,

1:30:40

all the way to the first Jewish-Roman war in

1:30:42

66 AD. The

1:30:45

massive work is called The Antiquities of the Jews and

1:30:47

contains multiple references to the gifts of exorcism

1:30:49

that God gave Solomon, as well

1:30:52

as how the tactics used by Solomon to evict

1:30:54

evil spirits were still being used in his own

1:30:56

day. Quote,

1:30:58

This method of cure is of great force

1:31:00

unto this day, for I have

1:31:02

seen a certain man of my own country

1:31:04

releasing people that were demonical in the presence

1:31:07

of Vespasian and his sons and his captains

1:31:09

and the whole multitude of his soldiers. In

1:31:13

approximately 670 BC, a

1:31:15

Babylonian or possibly a Syrian king calls upon

1:31:17

an exorcist to expel evil demons troubling him.

1:31:20

On the king's estate, the exorcist performs

1:31:22

a ritual which translates to the

1:31:24

burning. The burning was one

1:31:26

of the most common forms of exorcism during this time

1:31:28

and this particular case is one where

1:31:30

we have the most detailed report of it. The

1:31:37

ritual began at dusk, lasted until dawn. During

1:31:40

it, the exorcist recited over 100 incantations,

1:31:43

placed magical items around the victim's room and anointed

1:31:45

him with oil. So definitely some

1:31:47

similarities between this type of exorcism and ones

1:31:49

that will come later within Christianity. We

1:31:52

can ascertain more of what the exorcist did during the

1:31:54

ritual because we still have the instruction manual for it.

1:31:57

The directions for the burning were inscribed on a series of

1:31:59

images. of nine tablets. Eight

1:32:01

of the tablets are inscribed with the full

1:32:04

intentations for the exorcist to recite during the

1:32:06

ritual. The ninth is inscribed with the accompanying

1:32:08

actions. Small fragments or simplified

1:32:10

versions of the burning ritual were

1:32:12

found both in the royal libraries from the

1:32:14

period as well as in private libraries of

1:32:16

known exorcists, such as a

1:32:19

medicine man named Cassir Assur. Interestingly

1:32:21

enough, Cassir Assur not

1:32:23

only one of the earliest exorcists we know of, but

1:32:25

one of the earliest healers in recorded human history. According

1:32:29

to the Corpus of Mesopotamian Anti-Witchcraft

1:32:31

Rituals by the University of

1:32:33

Würzburg in Germany, the basic structure of the

1:32:35

burning is fairly similar to that of most

1:32:37

exorcisms. During the ceremony, quote,

1:32:41

the victim is transferred from a state of

1:32:43

imminent death back to life. He is purified

1:32:45

and his bound state undone. Sorcerer

1:32:47

and sorceress are assigned the fate they

1:32:50

had intended for their victim by sending

1:32:52

the witchcraft back to them. Oh, shit!

1:32:55

He was got reversed cursed! During

1:32:58

the third century BC, exorcisms directed at demons

1:33:00

that caused disease and illness are taught by

1:33:02

the Jewish faith. A set

1:33:04

of ancient manuscripts called the Dead Sea Scrolls from

1:33:06

this period outline how one can charm a demon

1:33:08

out of a victim's body using

1:33:11

incantations and songs. And

1:33:13

some of these songs have been translated

1:33:15

into English and performed with

1:33:18

full musical accompaniment. Pretty

1:33:20

cool. You can find the videos

1:33:22

on YouTube. Here's one of many. The world

1:33:28

is called the world.

1:33:30

The world is called

1:33:33

the world. The

1:33:36

world is called the world. Incredible!

1:33:39

Michael motherfucking McDonald's! Demon

1:33:42

Slayer! Additionally,

1:33:44

Passions of the Dead Sea Scrolls describe how

1:33:47

those who have fallen under the influence of

1:33:49

false prophets or mediums also required in exorcism.

1:33:52

Sometime between 6 and 4

1:33:54

BCE, not in year zero.

1:33:57

Actually, there was no year zero. Jesus was

1:33:59

born in Bethlehem. to Mary and Joseph.

1:34:01

The calendar moves from 1 BC to 1

1:34:03

AD, by the way, and

1:34:05

in approximately 28 AD, Jesus

1:34:09

and Bophomet mud

1:34:11

wrestle. Sunday, Sunday,

1:34:13

Sunday, at the

1:34:15

Bethlehem Civic Center and auditorium on

1:34:17

University Street, the cross from the

1:34:19

Holy and Express from KFC, the

1:34:21

Son of God takes out one

1:34:23

of hell's mightiest demons. Two deities

1:34:25

enter the cage, only one will

1:34:27

survive. Jesus is the

1:34:29

many favorite since he's the Son of

1:34:32

Almighty God and also got himself complicated,

1:34:34

but Bophomet is pretty scary looking with goat-headed

1:34:36

wings. Will fear be a factor or will

1:34:38

faith prevail? We'll sell you the whole seat, but you only

1:34:40

need the edge. For

1:34:42

real now, 28 AD, Jesus

1:34:45

is baptized in the River Jordan at Bethany by

1:34:47

John the Baptist. Immediately afterwards, he departs

1:34:50

for the Judean desert for 40 days and 40

1:34:52

nights with no food or water. During

1:34:54

his fast, head demon, Satan, tries to

1:34:57

tempt Jesus away from God three times

1:34:59

and each time Satan

1:35:01

fails. When

1:35:09

he returns to the desert, Jesus brings teaching and performing

1:35:11

miracles, one of these miracles being exorcisms.

1:35:14

He does this until his crucifixion in 30

1:35:17

AD. In Mark 1, chapter

1:35:21

1, verses 23 through 26, a

1:35:24

man with an unclean spirit entered

1:35:26

the synagogue, screaming and shouting to Jesus. According

1:35:29

to the King James Version of the Bible, Jesus

1:35:31

rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace and come out

1:35:33

of him. And when the unclean

1:35:35

spirit had torn him and cried with a loud voice, he

1:35:37

came out of him. In another

1:35:39

instance, described in Mark, chapter 5,

1:35:41

verses 8 through 13, Jesus is

1:35:43

met by a naked and wild man with

1:35:45

superhuman strength, living amongst

1:35:48

the tombs of

1:35:50

Gaterine. What if that dude

1:35:52

had a boner? Come on, am I the

1:35:54

only one? Anyone else that would do that? I mean,

1:35:56

kind of an important detail. If

1:35:58

they ever made clear in Scripture, which is unfortunate

1:36:00

because this fucker, uh, you know, he's

1:36:03

scary either way, but way more scary

1:36:05

if he's got a boner. And

1:36:07

how big is it? Six inches? That's

1:36:09

a little bit scary. Ten inches. Six

1:36:11

is a baby's arm. That is terrifying.

1:36:14

Two inches. Not much bigger round than a soda

1:36:17

straw. Pretty funny, actually. It's

1:36:19

clear that not only is the man possessed, but he'd

1:36:21

been possessed for a long, long time. During their encounter

1:36:24

after proclaiming, uh, come out of

1:36:26

the man you unclean spirit, Jesus speaks directly to

1:36:28

the demon and asks its name. Though

1:36:30

the possessed, uh, through the possessed man, the entity responds,

1:36:33

My name is Legion, for we are

1:36:35

many. That's a badass quote. It's one

1:36:38

of the spookiest quotes to me, at least, in the whole Bible. Uh,

1:36:40

for context, a Roman Legion consists of 6,000 men,

1:36:43

so although there might not have been exactly 6,000 demons, uh,

1:36:46

excuse me, possessing the man's body, it was

1:36:48

clear, you know, that there were a lot. He was infested. You

1:36:50

know how they say the human body is mostly watered? This

1:36:53

dude, you know, mostly demon. In

1:36:55

the face of the Son of God, the Legion of Demons begs

1:36:57

Jesus not to send them out of the area, but to send

1:36:59

them out of the man and allow them to enter, uh, the

1:37:02

bodies of a herd of pigs nearby. Not

1:37:04

sure why they would beg him for that. It's

1:37:07

never made entirely clear to me, at least. Uh,

1:37:09

Jesus obliges and the unclean spirits came

1:37:11

out and entered the swine and

1:37:13

the herd, numbering about 2,000, rushed

1:37:15

down the steep bank into the sea and would drown

1:37:17

in the sea. Sounds

1:37:19

like, although there were a lot of demons, none

1:37:22

of them were real smart. That was the Legion of

1:37:24

Dummy Demons. I hope if I ever have to

1:37:26

do battle with a demon or demons, they're dumb as fuck. Right?

1:37:29

Give up Daniel. God will not save you. Resistance

1:37:32

is futile. Your soul is mine. Crawl

1:37:35

now, demon. I don't think you're strong enough

1:37:37

to take me. I bet you're so

1:37:39

weak, you couldn't even possess this

1:37:41

tiny little ant here on the counter. You

1:37:44

don't think I'm strong enough to possess an ant,

1:37:46

you fool! Nah, I don't.

1:37:49

I mean, I mean, if you could, if you could possess that little ant,

1:37:52

I'll just give you my soul. Watch me, fool. And

1:37:54

then I looked down at the counter and the little

1:37:56

ant's head starts to spin around and then just BAM!

1:37:58

Just fucking squish it. Fuck you. Dumb

1:38:00

as a demon. To be nice. Demon

1:38:02

Battle. For me, Ah. By

1:38:04

the third century eighty Christianity spread rapidly

1:38:06

across the world. The purpose of exorcism,

1:38:08

well as world of the area know

1:38:11

world for the because. if sniff Middle

1:38:13

East will be Europe's Ah become solidified

1:38:15

within the church. The success of Christianity

1:38:17

relied heavily on the admonishment of paganism.

1:38:20

A any belief system is not Christianity in

1:38:22

such. During this period Paganism starts to be

1:38:24

seen as something evil. Something. That

1:38:26

requires. Excesses, ups, For

1:38:29

the first time in the Fourth century, eighty minor exes

1:38:31

isms be com an integral part of the right. A

1:38:33

baptism. A minor assume.

1:38:36

Average. Of weird Now. Or. During

1:38:38

the Middle Ages approx me around the

1:38:40

twelfth century thirteenth century A d It's

1:38:42

the right of accident because more widely

1:38:44

available through the publication of pontifical so

1:38:47

small portable collections of ceremonies a priest

1:38:49

to perform. However, unlike

1:38:51

the ritual remodel, I would standardize

1:38:53

the ceremony and sixteen fourteen. Pontifical.

1:38:56

Were produced by individual monasteries or cathedrals,

1:38:58

and thus each had slight variations. Turned

1:39:01

his beard. Christian scholars start to study demonology.

1:39:04

Which. Helps legitimize the practice of excesses. For

1:39:07

example, in his Summa Theologian. Are

1:39:10

written Thirteenth Century Thomas Aquinas

1:39:12

rights. Demons. Cannot work

1:39:14

miracles, nor can any creature but God

1:39:16

alone, since in a strict sense a

1:39:19

miracle is something done outside the order

1:39:21

of the entire craft created nature under

1:39:23

which order every power of a creature

1:39:25

is contained. But. Sometimes miracle may

1:39:27

be taken in a wide sense for

1:39:29

whatever exceeds the human powered experience. And

1:39:31

as demons can work miracles that is.

1:39:33

Things would rouse mans astonishment by reason

1:39:35

of their been beyond his power and

1:39:37

outside his fear of knowledge. says.

1:39:40

More people don't have access instructions for spelling.

1:39:42

Satan is also there is is pure did

1:39:44

a form of ecstasy Them starts being used

1:39:46