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10-4-HAB What the fuck

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are you guys even talking about? Global

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controls will have

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to be imposed and

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a world governing body will

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be created to enforce them Welcome

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to 10-4-HAB We go deep

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homeboy Eric,

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open your mind Drink

0:24

from the fountain of knowledge

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There's lizard people everywhere That's

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an interdimensional idea Wake

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up, Aaron This

0:38

is only the beginning Dude, you just killed

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my mind Are

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you ready to get your mind blown? D'oh!

0:46

Morning, Swarm, and welcome to 10-4-HAB You know I

0:49

am, you know I'm here to do it, I'm

0:51

here to Roar! Join me as always, Xavier Guerrero

0:53

and on the ones to J-Nice, Juicy Johnny, J-Dawg

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B-B-B-B-B-Johnny Boner! Come

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to Samtripley.gold What is it?

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Wolfpack, Wise Wolf Yeah, fly! From

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the Wise Wolfgolden Silver Studios Go to

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Samtripley.gold, use a promo code TimFoil and

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get in it Join the Wolfpack I'm

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giving me silver I'm loving it People buying

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you silver? Yeah, they show up, they give

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me silver Someone bought t-shirts in

1:22

gold They're like, hey Sam, can I get a t-shirt

1:25

like this and he pulls out a gold coat and

1:27

sounds like getting whatever he wants He gave me a

1:29

gold coin, a silver coin and he gave me...

1:32

Let me see if I can find it Oh

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cool, so you have a coin man out of 10 probably that

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some guy just got a nice-ass t-shirt for

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Yeah, but go over there, Samtripley.gold Yeah

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Go get yourself some gold and become part of the

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Wolfpack Guys, I hope you're doing well I hope you

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guys want to thank everybody who came out this weekend

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to see Xavier

1:50

Guerrero, Eddie

1:52

Bravo, Leonardo, Joiny and myself

1:54

Yeah, dude, here's the weird

1:56

silver that this guy gave

1:59

me John, did you

2:01

see the shot? It's weird silver. Oh And

2:04

guys so I just go to

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Sam Tripoli comm and check out

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the dates Hopefully this comes out by

2:11

the time the dates are tonight

2:14

Tonight I have the the greatest

2:16

comedy chaos I've ever put together Amazing,

2:18

huh since the old day what

2:20

a lineup look at that line I'm just

2:22

nothing but murder and then the second show

2:24

I will be there Oh you will nice

2:26

buddy, and then of course will be at

2:28

the La Jolla comm so with my good

2:30

friend Brian Moses who gave me an n-word

2:32

pass he said I can say it once

2:35

a show. Oh, yeah Hey, dude, we'll get

2:37

it well. I probably you don't Hard

2:41

I never go hard our buddy. Hey, I'm

2:43

an a guy you all you need is

2:45

once a show though Yeah, I guess well

2:47

dude Listen to the ladies

2:49

broken sin. I break it down my pronoun

2:51

joke has become my free bird

2:53

Okay, so just know that Yeah,

2:56

so anyways there's a lot going on the

2:59

website, but I wanted to just get into

3:01

real quick We're gonna do a

3:03

little something different here before we bring in the guest

3:07

Obviously everybody knows about the roast of

3:09

Tom Brady And

3:12

what what exactly? that

3:15

means culturally, uh I

3:18

want to get your guys's thoughts real quick Did

3:21

you guys watch the roast and what did you guys

3:23

think about it or have you seen clips

3:25

of it? I've seen clips. Yeah, I haven't seen the whole

3:27

thing yet obviously, it's very

3:30

interesting to me because You

3:33

know Tony Hinchliffe seems to be have

3:35

been added late. Oh Really

3:38

cuz they announced in late edge, you

3:40

know Tony H. Lively I didn't

3:42

see any ads for that but Tony Hinchliffe

3:44

was added late and Then

3:46

All of a sudden, you know, he just goes

3:48

up there and just nails it. Oh, I remember

3:50

you came It was what would you watch which

3:52

is Sunday night? You watched it. It came out

3:54

Sunday and you came in Monday morning You're like,

3:57

did you walk? Yeah, Tony said yeah, did you

3:59

watch that? It my phone was

4:01

blowing up that he killed. It is

4:03

absolutely annihilated as twenties is good at

4:05

the he did a dude. Again,

4:08

I'm did again to this whole

4:10

thing about preparation of aids like

4:12

lot Eagles preparation meats are opportunities

4:15

and that Sony has plus tony

4:17

it was whole comedy career was

4:19

about that moment. Was.

4:22

That moment right there. Any.

4:24

Nails it but I wanted into what

4:27

this means culturally more of a couple

4:29

things. I did a livestream on the

4:31

way here to the are the to

4:33

the show on. Idealized.

4:36

From talking about the scanner, this kind of.

4:38

Discussion. of people are having right

4:41

now of how they feel that the

4:43

comics who have blown up. Or.

4:45

Was it into the i'm going into

4:47

the are more get into how people

4:49

feel that of Thomas has blown up

4:51

off Joe Rogan are organic and I

4:53

want get into that com this notion

4:56

that comedy's best. Okay I first read

4:58

up was supposedly right really quickly of

5:00

the Tom Brady rose. I clicked on

5:02

it and and read some of it

5:04

was cruel massage in his dick and

5:06

not very funny is what the was

5:08

imposes salt So I just recently posted

5:10

a of of funny meme that said

5:12

ah. I'm. Not I've you go

5:14

to my my Instagram you'll see a

5:17

A goes I'm not a marriage counselor

5:19

anything but maybe you thought about talking

5:21

last and cookie your husband a steaks?

5:23

That my word. Both of us and

5:25

Bro. The. Of the amount

5:27

of people losing their mind on

5:30

Apple's. As it's had Solaris

5:32

a goat where you go to it.

5:35

Will you go to real quick? Are you on

5:37

the you know and it's just like the way

5:39

people lost of fuck and skulls on this thing

5:42

along those us. To to a will

5:44

be like one the last like it Will

5:46

go Go go go to saved go to

5:48

my instagram sorta will. Go. My Instagram.

5:51

Ah, I'm. Good.

5:54

My ya. Go.

5:57

Down gross disparities. there it is buried

5:59

and. Okay Okay,

6:04

this is just but if you read it right

6:06

there you can see the comments and

6:08

women are losing their fucking skulls For

6:11

no other reasons. What are you doing? Dude? Go

6:13

go go to the thing? Okay, well I won't go on it.

6:15

I got it. Okay, go keep going keep going that one right

6:18

there. No. No Right

6:26

there right how many okay

6:31

The comments so who are these people so

6:33

this is Tony Tony She's

6:36

a friend of mine. I know

6:38

her through acquaintance. We did shows together. I

6:40

had her on my podcast and of course

6:44

She was going off about you know,

6:46

uh You know,

6:48

she like we got to take down the

6:50

patriarchy because women are convinced that they're held

6:53

back by men This is

6:55

their comp. So if you hear this right and

6:57

she's a comedian and she's my friend have

6:59

a sense of humor then Yeah, it

7:01

makes me sad that dudes want to relate

7:04

to women in this way. I get

7:06

a ha ha funny women She

7:08

shut up. Yuck. Yuck. Yeah, it's

7:10

the truth It's an indicator of

7:12

how afraid people are of genuine

7:15

intimacy connection and vulnerability The

7:17

gender divide is getting so boring

7:19

fake news and it's just like

7:21

what are you talking about? Like

7:24

what are you talking about? Like

7:27

like the gender divide. What

7:29

is the gender divide? What

7:32

is going on here? Like what

7:34

about that post makes you think

7:36

there's a gender divide? Like

7:39

how are you comic? There's nothing

7:41

worse than comedians who get

7:43

angry at jokes It upsets

7:45

me now if someone talks about

7:48

your family, I can understand you wanted to go

7:50

to his house and beat his ass Okay, I

7:52

get it I get

7:54

it. That's fine. But this

7:56

sit there and take a meme. That's honestly funny

8:00

And make everything that is provocative

8:03

literal it destroys comedy Okay, that's

8:05

about the gender divide. Let's call

8:07

it that more than women by

8:09

the way We

8:14

can't be Provocative

8:16

anymore is the biggest problem

8:18

we have and even a notion that we

8:20

have to only be provocative at roasts We're

8:23

like this is allowed. Yeah, that's funny right?

8:25

Yeah, you're so right, dude. I never thought

8:27

about that way It's almost like they put

8:29

kind of a fence around like hey, dude

8:31

We're just gonna let these people do this

8:33

this one time. He's fight. It's so crazy,

8:35

right? So so we get into

8:37

that I was gonna talk some broken sim, but

8:39

we talked about it here Well, can we give

8:41

a shout out to Lisa? She says

8:44

now we have to hear a whole round about how he

8:46

really loved women on broken sim I

8:48

think she listens to broken sim. Yeah, I mean

8:50

Holy yeah, same as the applause at the women

8:52

whenever he gets to the top Somebody

8:54

said something very funny, which

8:56

is Brenda Pontus Absolutely

8:59

provided he makes enough to afford

9:01

to stay. Yeah, that's funny exactly that

9:03

and that's how you disarm this kind

9:06

of thing I do it and that's

9:08

how you tee off instead of freaking

9:10

crying have fun with it So so

9:12

we go back to this Washington State Yeah

9:16

Tom Brady must really need money or attention

9:18

or proof that he's a bro He needed

9:20

it bad enough to do that Netflix roast

9:22

in which he gallantly sacrificed the mothers of

9:24

his children To clumsy

9:26

third-rate comics whose hammy

9:29

punchlines fell like refrigerators

9:31

hitting sidewalks Splatting Brady's

9:33

reputation for intelligence beneath

9:35

them Like who are

9:37

you talking about? Are you talking about Nikki Glaser?

9:40

Who's like by the way? I mean

9:43

Nikki Glaser getting hotter as she gets

9:45

older. Yes I mean she's

9:47

getting hot dude. Mm-hmm. Like she's

9:49

free. Oh, we

9:51

don't know that why do you have break down women? But

9:59

I mean Like who you talking about

10:02

you talk about Nikki Glaser who

10:04

absolutely destroyed everybody and everybody called

10:06

Gronk Stupid right and I'm

10:08

sorry, but I I think this is

10:10

the best Thing

10:12

I've ever Tom Brady is so smart

10:15

for doing this Tom

10:17

Brady is so smart for doing

10:19

this dude. Oh Why

10:22

would you say that because it makes him more

10:24

human than any other goat has ever been human

10:26

before There's never been a

10:28

goat that has allowed himself to

10:31

be made fun of like Tom Brady did at

10:33

this roast Are you saying LeBron would never let

10:35

himself get roasted like that? Jordan

10:41

is not a nice person.

10:43

The things we've heard about

10:45

Jordan. He's not a nice

10:47

guy difficult, right? He's difficult

10:49

Kobe difficult, right? He's

10:51

literally that like dude Nobody Tom Brady is

10:53

the most real dude that is the greatest

10:56

to ever do it and by the way

10:58

this woman She looks like one of these

11:00

old-school feminists. Yeah, let's see how unhappy

11:02

she is Let's play a game called

11:04

how many cast so she has oh

11:06

my god It's

11:10

like taking shit literal

11:12

you've destroyed comedy cuz you've

11:14

made it literal Okay by

11:16

the time the three-hour Vulgarian parade

11:19

was over there were two

11:21

conclusions football players can't do funny only

11:23

course and Brady Wasn't the one who

11:25

got roasted. He stuck his exes with

11:28

the tab and that's why it's brilliant

11:31

That's there is a fucking clause where

11:34

he they can't talk shit about each

11:36

other and he didn't and he got

11:38

all these Comics to do it do

11:40

Kevin Hart had a great line It's

11:43

like she fucked her instructor and she's

11:45

still a white belt Only

11:52

only sycophants blinded by Brady seven

11:54

Super Bowl rings could have found

11:56

the performance comedic, but You're

12:00

blinded by a super bowl, right? This

12:02

chick, this chick, and like even though

12:04

I love Tony, dude, get ready, man,

12:06

because this pandering that was done to

12:08

you forever is dead. It's

12:11

dead. People are waking up. This

12:14

is Netflix trying to keep up with

12:16

the internet and comedy. That's what Netflix

12:18

did. That's why they're like,

12:20

oh, dude, we gotta let go. Oh, dude,

12:22

dude, how gay are you? You look like

12:24

a gay Tom Brady. Like, how funny is

12:27

that? And then the go,

12:29

dude, it's so crazy that you're a

12:31

patriot when you really look like a

12:33

Confederate fag. Dude, that is so fucking

12:35

funny. Listen, dude,

12:38

it's like she doesn't understand conio. Johnny,

12:40

Brady's uncomfortable plastic grin was

12:42

accompanied by the canned he-ha's

12:44

of fake laughter from a

12:46

crowd whose jaws were stretched

12:49

tight from the effort of

12:51

cackling over broadly at lines

12:53

like this from Kevin Hart.

12:55

There's the progressives, bro. The

12:57

progressives always get to a

12:59

place, dude, always get to

13:01

a place where they get deaf

13:04

ears. If you listen to my

13:06

pronoun joke, okay, you read

13:08

the comments, bombed in the room. Did

13:10

not bomb at all. No. Dude,

13:13

dude, crushed. This weekend in

13:15

Chicago, it was YA. People

13:19

are like, oh, you won't do that in Chicago. I go,

13:21

bro, bang. With the

13:23

black, white stuff. Hot

13:25

black ass. Tipped very well

13:27

at the end. Let's not forget that, but he

13:29

didn't care. And they didn't, they were laughing. Nobody

13:31

cared, they all laughed. Nobody cares. But do you

13:33

think, okay, you just said, obviously, they drop in

13:35

fag over there on Netflix and stuff. Do you

13:37

think that would trickle down to YouTube? Do you

13:39

think eventually we'll go back to maybe us

13:42

being able to say it? We've been talking

13:44

that YouTube has been

13:47

kind of nice to us lately. A little

13:49

bit better, yeah. I mean, especially with the

13:52

hammer for words, like specific

13:54

words. It's weird, because usually during the election, it

13:56

buckles up. Well, I mean. Not

13:58

quite there yet. I think. a little closer

14:00

maybe okay yeah but it's interesting I mean

14:02

some stuff has been happening on Twitter I

14:05

found out why my blue checkmark went because

14:07

I changed my profile pic oh okay okay

14:09

that and so you do that they have

14:11

to make sure it's nothing all

14:14

weird like that but you know

14:16

if you if you study it it's just the

14:18

greatest thing ever and it's like here we go

14:20

now and there's this old

14:23

theory there's old saying that um

14:26

that that the project

14:29

hit made by accident like if

14:31

something makes it to the screen

14:33

somebody fucked up right

14:36

and there's a there is a

14:38

large segment of Hollywood that deep

14:40

down inside probably hates this roast

14:42

not because of what it said

14:44

but because it raised the bar

14:46

so much higher for all them

14:48

to have to achieve now everything

14:50

that follows this has to have

14:52

an achievement it goes back to

14:54

what we're talking about with Brady

14:56

right I mean with um

14:59

with Pete Diddy where he's like

15:02

I learned don't work with

15:05

talented people work with less

15:07

talented yeah he goes I learned that he worked with

15:09

all these guys at first they all just like fuck

15:11

you I'll just do it on my own and now

15:14

he's like I don't work with less talented

15:16

because you can control them easier and that

15:18

is Hollywood so cynical what does this make

15:21

you think about Netflix though because I mean

15:23

it's one of the few really well I

15:25

mean they've done good specials but I

15:27

it's a little confusing because Netflix normally and

15:30

recently has you know sucked no

15:33

specials aren't good yeah well

15:35

it was specials aren't good it's great I mean how'd that

15:37

happen is it an act because like you're saying I'd they

15:39

give you one little little things

15:41

to stay on Netflix here you go they

15:44

have to do that Johnny like like

15:46

HPL max has to have a Game of

15:48

Thrones every once in a while to get

15:50

you to pay and then they just bombard

15:52

you with dog shit so

15:54

it's like this is what they have to do and they

15:57

don't like that I guarantee you they're

15:59

gonna do this again because it got so

16:01

much heat and you're just gonna see it

16:03

slowly slowly tinker back

16:05

I mean it's the same thing

16:07

that happened with Last Comic Standing

16:09

right the first two seasons where

16:12

all the old-school savages who were

16:14

like Road Legends and then it

16:16

became let's cast it. They killed

16:18

it. But

16:21

going back to this like like black

16:23

jokes, gay jokes, everyone got shit on

16:25

equally. The only person who didn't get

16:28

shit on was Tom Segura and

16:30

my cousin's like why did anyone hit Tom

16:32

Segura? Because Tom is love. Tom

16:35

Segura is like love and

16:37

it kind of gets back to this

16:39

rant that I just did on the

16:41

drive-in. It's like this notion that

16:43

like Joe when Cat

16:46

Williams goes oh you know

16:48

he blew up these five guys that aren't

16:50

funny it's like no it's not

16:52

true it's not true

16:54

at all like he's

16:56

blown up fucking killers and the

16:58

notion that that like Joe Rogan

17:01

blowing somebody up is unorganic is

17:03

the most annoying shit I've ever

17:05

heard in my life like being

17:07

blown up by the industry is

17:09

the organic. Yeah that's a good

17:11

point. Right? It's like dude you

17:13

have no clue who you're pitching

17:15

to right now you guys have

17:17

no clue the process of getting

17:19

anything on television and it's fucking

17:21

awful you're pitching to like the

17:23

staff of BuzzFeed. If you

17:25

study who like has been going after me on

17:27

this this pronoun joke you

17:29

study it it's like

17:32

all the woke people it's either super

17:34

woke or super unsuccessful

17:36

and ugly. I

17:38

can't tell you how many guys from

17:40

couches in their living room are talking

17:42

shit on my joke and

17:45

you're like why why is

17:47

this? Because I like dude

17:49

all these woke motherfuckers they just

17:52

they just don't want comedy they

17:54

can't compete against thriving

17:57

they can't compete in that world. Yeah I see what

17:59

you're saying. It used to be a niche. The

18:01

alt scene used to be a niche It'd

18:04

be like late night on HBO late

18:08

night on Cartoon Network

18:10

then it became the norm

18:12

and comedy bottomed out and

18:15

everything else seems fake by comparison

18:18

Dude all of its fake except

18:21

for videos where that that

18:23

they can count the number of

18:25

times It's been played and

18:27

even that's manipulated. Hey guys real quick I'll

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tell you about our good friends at wise

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the wolf. Let's go I Love

19:47

that they think things I mean Carson is

19:50

Rogan's Carson. I mean that I know But

19:53

but like and Carson Carson was a Hollywood

19:55

animal no matter what anybody tells you he

19:57

played favorites, too And

20:00

you're playing favorite. We're gonna we're gonna

20:02

hear it later in this episode how

20:05

Carson was, you know Dude

20:08

if the booker of the tonight show

20:10

didn't like you you were fucked There's

20:12

a guy literally jumped off a building

20:15

cuz he lost his touch cuz he

20:17

had a bad set late night Yeah,

20:19

that's bad. It was almost pressure on this

20:22

guy's heckin 80 I know let's say Johnny

20:24

Carson passes on you and

20:26

then the industry passes on you back in

20:28

a day How would you work you wouldn't

20:31

then you're done? Today's

20:33

so much better. It's so much better

20:36

and the notion that Joe Rogan who's helped

20:38

so many freaking people is Somehow

20:41

like dude if you

20:43

study if you study death squad You

20:46

study death squad then you study

20:49

how it helped influence cast digital

20:52

Like are you leaving LA going now going

20:54

to New York and hooking up with those

20:56

guys and how those guys rode through the

20:58

whole Fucking kovat political correctness

21:00

and now people are going to

21:03

New York to kiss the ring

21:05

to get their their fan base

21:08

That's how powerful Legion of Skanks is now.

21:10

That's how powerful gas digital is now I

21:12

mean everyone forgets about the ice house Chronicles

21:15

dude. Guess who came up. Guess who

21:17

greenlit the name this guy right here

21:19

Really? Yeah, Joe and Joe and Brian

21:23

red band were like do we got a couple

21:25

names they listed to me the one was like

21:27

ice house Chronicles I go I like ice house

21:29

chronicles. You're the best with names. Yeah,

21:31

and they go. That's it. That's the name And

21:35

that's why I like I I have to

21:37

I have to start getting out by

21:39

the way Can we give red band some credit?

21:41

You know what? I mean? I got no credit

21:43

all the credit I mean I feel like he's

21:45

just not it you could go around there like

21:48

people in there He wouldn't be a name but

21:50

that guy's I mean God God bless him. You're

21:52

a nice guy, too If you study the history

21:54

of comedy, okay The

21:56

history of comedy death squad is

21:59

a part of that And it's not

22:01

that desk club was the first podcast

22:03

network, but I really do feel

22:05

it was the first podcast network

22:08

that really didn't

22:10

care about the industry. Now

22:15

Joe Rogan talks about how Anthony

22:18

Kumeya really like

22:20

inspired him to do a podcast. I

22:23

know that Adam Carolla did as well. But

22:26

in terms of a network, like

22:28

network shows, like

22:30

in terms of like the whole, every

22:33

show having a theme, you

22:35

know, think about all the people that were on

22:37

desk club in the original days, Tom,

22:40

Tom, and by the way, this note,

22:42

like in this world that we

22:45

live in now where it's like nothing but people,

22:50

these YouTube channels now popped

22:52

up like where they just

22:54

critique comedy and comedians. Have

22:57

you seen this? This whole industry now

23:00

of reaction videos. Well,

23:02

no, they just, they're like almost like, I don't

23:05

know how to do it. They'll be like, Oh, you

23:07

guys want to hear a whole drama between fan and

23:09

their part. They're basically like a weird kind of TMZ.

23:12

Yeah. TMZ, I guess.

23:14

So ESPN for comedy or comedy. Yeah. Where

23:17

they just criticize. But you're saying, he's saying that they're

23:20

like recapping beats, but are you, what are you doing?

23:22

Yeah. They're recapping beats or they're

23:24

talking about what's going on comics. I

23:27

thought you meant they were like watching. You'll watch

23:29

like they're there. They're there because, you know, the,

23:32

the more salacious the title, the

23:35

more people are going to click on it. They

23:37

make shit up. Like the reason why Joe Rogan

23:39

and Andrew Schultz don't like each other and it'll

23:41

be some random shit when they love each other.

23:43

They'll be over their friends. But for some reason

23:45

they'll make, you know how it is. They'll make

23:47

shit up. Yeah. Stupid. Yeah.

23:51

Right. And the long story short is like death squad was

23:54

a big part of that. That's when it back to the

23:56

first page of death squad. It's like podcasts, little

23:59

Esther's pod. in your mom's house

24:01

from day one isn't that crazy yeah little

24:03

Esther was a big part of that

24:05

yeah you know then there's people

24:07

like Brandon Walsh me that we're

24:10

all big Jason Tebow was

24:12

a yes Joey Diaz Duncan

24:14

Trussell you know that's what

24:16

made me want to come out here dude it wasn't Hollywood

24:19

was that scene but you know this notion right

24:21

now that this narrative with this roast is that

24:23

common you know and you got Nikki Glaser hopes

24:25

just laying bunch and forgives her for Tom Brady

24:28

rose do you do this real yeah do you

24:30

think that's even yeah I think

24:32

and I love Nikki and she's oh the

24:35

reason you gotta like Nikki is cuz she's

24:37

a extremely hard worker color just

24:39

lean but what's her name just

24:41

out of just laying the max well yeah just

24:44

Al Buncheon well why which is straight-up

24:46

Nazi everybody that is a German last

24:49

name in Latin America she is the

24:51

descendants of Nazis all right but why

24:53

would you roast someone and then apologize

24:55

the next day like you didn't do

24:58

you don't think you just covered on

25:01

Tom's what X X women are upset with

25:03

the roast and I think it's the smartest

25:05

thing he's ever done because he didn't say

25:08

anything and they let hurt them to fuck

25:10

up and guess what just

25:12

just Giselle Buncheons

25:14

you fucking Nazi hey man

25:17

the energy put out the energy you get back

25:19

whatever you're in court like she's a

25:22

lot of wet he was Jeffrey Ross by

25:24

the way oh my god oh my

25:26

hey can you mention how you like

25:28

how Kim Kardashian poses what

25:31

do you mean you know like when she's

25:33

going down the walk at the fucking but

25:35

you know so she got she got she

25:37

got booed there and she took in stride

25:40

they boot they boot her hard it's

25:42

so funny cuz that dude this is

25:44

all the fucking beta cocks of Hollywood

25:46

like like dude it's

25:49

everybody from a private school that's

25:51

the audience it was all private

25:53

school kids who just like

25:55

back in the day was like we decided

25:57

was talent that's why I loved about this

26:00

Like dude all of the most brain-dead people

26:02

in Hollywood. They're the worst dude there What

26:05

that's the fact that

26:07

anyone crushed there is hilarious especially

26:09

the way Tony absolutely annihilated What

26:12

do you think about a mecca?

26:15

When you think about this, Sam There's

26:17

like I should load right now Yeah,

26:21

I like that it's Tom Brady's rose

26:23

to cut booze out Kim Carwell Work

26:26

with her at the mecca opposing. Yeah. Yeah, but

26:28

that's what he was but yeah I mean who

26:30

gives a fuck everyone it was live everyone knows

26:32

about her getting booed But then that isn't live

26:35

that's that's like editing when it is live, but

26:37

now they're editing. Yeah, I know tape Yeah,

26:40

but they're not like editing when like what's her name did

26:42

the fucking I when she messed up her notes at the

26:44

Super Bowl It's gotta be you can't you can't edit if

26:46

it's live at the end of the day who gives a

26:48

fuck I don't care. It

26:50

does it damage is done bloods in the

26:52

water Kim Kardashian isn't

26:55

liked The strides and

26:57

effect it'll get more attention. Yeah, I

26:59

get more attention and I guarantee you

27:01

I mean maybe Kim complained I

27:04

know of course But

27:06

it's like everyone knows already But

27:08

it's like fuck you guys and then

27:11

not like you got this chick crying

27:13

who I like Tony But it's

27:15

like stop cry harder. I mean

27:17

just cry harder It's

27:19

like you're you know, it's like I do go

27:22

to my go to my date Like dude

27:24

the days of political correctness are coming to

27:26

an end but this notion that comedy this

27:28

notion Jelly rolls gonna be

27:30

on American Idol good for her. I'm good

27:33

for him The

27:36

new pronoun I've never heard but go to

27:38

my thing dude like like there's this fucking

27:40

thing about the it's literally a true

27:42

story Germany Germany

27:45

made it so you have to get Vaccinated

27:48

to get assisted suicide.

27:51

It's a true story I mean you

27:53

have people like pushing back on me

27:55

posting that and they're like, okay nice

27:57

nice all data above I

28:00

might cry harder pussy. It's all coming to an

28:03

end in the pushback on that What is well

28:05

you got to go to my fucking thing and

28:07

see you don't see the

28:09

German the you have to be fully vaccinated When

28:11

did you post I see it? I see it.

28:13

Oh you guys Small

28:16

but just you guys are retards right

28:18

there you see it. Oh, it's great. Yeah,

28:20

I keep in Germany You must be fully

28:23

vaccinated before your death by

28:25

assisted suicide. Yeah, right, but what's the

28:27

can you open? You can't see the

28:29

comments We're

28:31

at half hour. Okay This

28:36

has become I mean Sam's

28:39

Instagram Well,

28:41

you know, it's just like I feel like too important that

28:44

we talk about this as we get into John

28:46

barbers episode well, you know, dude, I

28:48

adore that guy. He's Guys,

28:51

but you know life This is what

28:53

we're talking about dude, and the

28:55

notion that comedy is is is back

28:58

Go check out my Sam Tripoli

29:00

comedy page on Instagram and you'll

29:02

see what daddy's been hammering for

29:05

fucking ever Okay The

29:09

days are done The days

29:11

are done. It's over Your

29:14

feelings fuck your feelings Oh,

29:16

I see the guy saying it's because it's a

29:18

it's just from a few years ago the German

29:20

thing and he's like saying You're just rehashing old

29:22

shit. Yeah, and it's like cry harder bitch You

29:26

just like go fuck yourself Like

29:28

if that doesn't if I post an app

29:30

set you more than that than the article

29:33

itself Yeah,

29:35

dude good for Tony good for Nikki good

29:37

for everybody up there Stop

29:40

player hating. Okay These

29:43

guys are good dudes, you know, and it's just

29:45

like when it comes like Tom Segura It's

29:48

just like I'm gonna tell you some Tom

29:50

is a generous man He

29:52

loves to help people he helped me when I have

29:54

my twin daughters He got me a doula for like

29:56

a month and a half. Do you guys know how

29:59

that saved my life? life he I didn't even

30:01

ask him he goes I'm gonna help you dude

30:03

I'm gonna get you doula I didn't even know

30:05

he's talking about but I started crying and then

30:08

I realized well was it was the greatest gift

30:10

you could give anybody in your life and

30:13

it's it's a man it saves people so

30:16

what is it doula the doulas and I'm gonna help

30:18

so yeah it's only helps to let you sleep so

30:21

they'll take care of your kids I do

30:23

a you need a doula no

30:25

I knew one that they did a doula

30:27

Oh Johnny nice Johnny nice but

30:30

that's it so I wanted to tell you guys

30:32

uh you know that about my

30:34

opinion on the roast I thought was great

30:36

I think if you're upset about it you

30:38

you're in for a world of hurt in

30:41

the future nobody gives a fuck about comedy

30:43

never left I've been pounding people okay

30:46

go to Sam to believe that comedy

30:48

for a little while but company no

30:50

the problem was is that we let

30:52

the fucking the dumb dictate comedy and

30:55

we've decided that's over because there's too

30:57

much fine print there's too much fine

30:59

print to comedy to take your rules

31:01

seriously so cry harder bitch okay

31:05

cry harder all right okay

31:07

so then if it's how

31:09

long till you can say the F or

31:12

anybody can at the comedy store what do

31:14

you know can I get yeah it's still

31:16

kind of you see faggot I know but

31:18

you still say and people like no nigga

31:20

is gonna be the night that's the only

31:22

word that wasn't said there and it was

31:24

said by Sam J who did grade 2

31:26

and everyone laughed at Sam J called a

31:28

white guy nigga which is all I've been

31:30

doing the whole time it's called myself a

31:32

real nigga so I don't understand why you

31:34

guys are angry Sam J just

31:36

did what I'm doing calling white people the M

31:38

word which is what I've

31:40

been pushing we need to normalize

31:42

dude calling white people the M

31:45

word and that's it I hope you

31:47

guys enjoyed this little thing we don't do

31:49

it often uh so I want to talk

31:51

about John Barber he's a pioneer and

31:53

he goes into some really deep dives and

31:55

he has a fun conversation about roasting and

31:58

and sensor and

32:01

how if you guys think Joe

32:03

Rogan blowing up his friends is

32:05

inorganic, you're gonna realize what entertainers

32:08

had to go through to fucking

32:10

the the the the

32:12

the the gymnastics they

32:14

had to go through the hurdles they

32:17

had to jump to deal with people

32:19

could never do what they wanted to

32:21

and that's my problem with the industry.

32:24

Kill the industry until the industry works

32:26

with us and we don't

32:28

have to work with them go fuck

32:30

yourself okay and your whole thing

32:32

like you guys are like oh my god it's misogyny

32:35

and racism dude literally they gave an

32:37

Emmy to a show that was about

32:39

how two Asians can't drive okay

32:44

what Asians can say that but

32:46

white people can't say that you

32:48

understand how dumb that is the

32:50

world's longest Asian joke. Yeah yeah

32:52

yeah yeah beef is the longest

32:54

Asian joke ever told and

32:57

by the way I love Ali Wong but

33:00

it said that's it that's a joke

33:02

everyone does suck

33:05

suck it suck

33:08

my dick with your fucking

33:10

wah wah wah all

33:13

right all right

33:15

before I bring in John real

33:17

quick go to samtribley.com check out

33:19

the dates I am going to

33:21

be in Bellflower this Saturday night

33:24

killer show that is

33:26

Saturday night 7 p.m. then on Tuesday

33:28

night one of the greatest comedy

33:31

chaos's I've ever put together

33:33

it's so close to selling

33:35

out grab your tickets now

33:37

grab them now I'll go

33:39

to the comedy store.com Tim

33:41

Dillon Bobby Lee Andrew Santino

33:43

Liza Schlesinger Justin May Palooza

33:46

Tony Rock and then

33:49

Dustin Yarbrough and my friend Zach Holmes will

33:51

all be on there grab your tickets now

33:53

then I'm going to be in La Jolla

33:55

at the end of the month my good

33:58

friend Brian Moses will be joining me as

34:00

I drop the hammer of the

34:02

gods on some unsuspecting fools. Let's

34:04

go, bro, let's go. Okay, let's

34:07

get into my good friend, John

34:09

Barber. Enjoy. All

34:15

right, let's get into it. So excited to have

34:17

this guest back on the show. He's been

34:19

on numerous times, and every time is an

34:21

honor and a privilege. I

34:24

mean, he is a pioneer

34:26

in the television industry, in

34:29

particular, television comedy, and

34:31

he's an expert in JFK, been studying

34:33

his whole life, and we're so excited

34:35

to have him back. Please welcome one

34:37

of my favorite people to talk to,

34:39

John Barber. How are you, John, again?

34:43

Well, Sam, I must tell you,

34:45

Uncle Sam, you are

34:47

one of my very favorite people on

34:49

the internet. When I enjoy watching and

34:51

when I enjoy listening to you, you

34:54

guys cover very controversial subjects, and

34:56

you do it with an open

34:58

mind and a really

35:00

terrific sense of humor. So I am

35:03

honored to be with you. Thank you,

35:05

brother. I really do appreciate it. It means

35:07

a lot to me, and I love you

35:09

very much. I

35:11

enjoy hearing your experiences in the

35:13

world, your life, and your thoughts

35:15

on current events. John, before we

35:17

get into a couple things, can

35:19

you just tell our listeners a

35:21

little bit about yourself and where

35:23

they can find you? Well,

35:30

I can't tell you a little bit about

35:32

myself. It's in my book, which

35:34

is called, Your Mother's Not a Virgin.

35:37

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

35:39

ha ha ha ha ha ha. That gets me every time. Yeah,

35:41

which is a title inspired by my

35:43

first conversation with Jim Garrison, the DA

35:46

of New Orleans, which we might get

35:48

to later. The

35:51

subtitle is A Bumpy Life and Times

35:54

of the Canadian Dropout Who

35:56

Changed the Face of American

35:58

Television. from, I was

36:02

born in the charity

36:04

ward of the Salvation Army

36:06

Hospital in Toronto, so

36:09

I come from the very dysfunctional

36:11

family long before it was popular.

36:14

And the

36:16

fight between my mother and father was so

36:18

severe that in 1939 my father figured

36:23

he'd be better off fighting the Germans.

36:26

So we enlisted in the Canadian Army,

36:28

went overseas, got the order of the

36:30

British Empire and never came home but

36:33

I went searching for him in 1960

36:35

and found him, which we might get

36:37

into later. Wow. My

36:40

mother took up

36:42

with about two dozen

36:45

uncles that I didn't even know I had

36:47

and they came

36:50

to booze with

36:52

her and to bed with

36:54

her and beat her and

36:56

I was literally on my own on

36:58

the streets when I was six years

37:00

of age. Wow. And being

37:02

a Canadian I spent most of my time

37:05

on a hockey rink, I

37:07

spent a lot of time or some

37:10

time in jail and

37:12

in the library which was just across

37:14

from the jail and at 16 my mother

37:23

read me a note she got from some

37:26

of her relatives in Scotland where

37:29

my mother and father both were

37:31

from saying my father was coming

37:33

home again. I remember

37:35

going to school Sam and

37:38

all the exam papers came and

37:40

I, listen, I never studied, ever

37:43

ever ever, I've just gifted with

37:45

I guess a good memory, whatever

37:47

it was and one

37:49

of the reasons that I was an honor

37:51

student, an honor student means 75 or plus

37:54

in your great

37:58

average. Now, I was sort of

38:00

sitting in the middle of the room when I

38:03

teach a Miss Britain really, really

38:05

pretty teacher. And I was

38:07

in the fifth grade. And

38:09

the only way I could get closer to her

38:11

desk was become an honors student, which I did.

38:14

And I

38:16

became so adept, I had the seat in

38:18

front of her. So you're learn

38:22

a little about me. And I was always dropping

38:24

my rubber. That's

38:28

because I've dropped a pencil, they would hear

38:30

it and I get down on my hands

38:32

and knees and I'd look up her skirt.

38:34

Dude, I did the exact same thing, bro.

38:36

I am so with you on that. And

38:38

to this day, looking up skirts, is this

38:40

weird kind of cheat flavor, cheat code flavor

38:43

that I'm like, I'm still because I was

38:45

a kid and loved it. And I'm like,

38:47

Oh, that's amazing. I'm 50

38:50

years old. I'm like, Yeah, well, no,

38:52

I was in the fifth grade, I

38:54

was only like 12. I

38:58

got up and she pounded me on the

39:00

head with a ruler. Oh, my

39:02

God. She says never mind Mr. Barber.

39:05

They're white. And then

39:08

she dragged me

39:11

down to the principal's office where they beat

39:13

the shit out of me. They would dip

39:17

a leather steel strap

39:19

in lemon water, bash your hands

39:21

totally would bleed because they

39:23

had corporal punishment in the school. So

39:25

it's 17. I

39:29

had become a

39:32

very adept gambler. Now

39:34

this is rather unbelievable. Um,

39:39

I started gambling when I was 13

39:41

to 14 everything I could work for

39:44

or steal and I stole more than

39:46

I worked for because I didn't want

39:48

to get up at six in the

39:50

morning to sell papers in the freezing

39:53

weather in Toronto. And I

39:55

managed to steal quite a bit, but I would

39:57

lose it at these games. There were eight people.

40:00

that I played with and not one of them

40:02

by light. The oldest one

40:04

was about 40. I thought, what are you

40:06

doing here for God's sake? I don't want

40:08

to be like these people, you

40:10

know. And I was only

40:14

there because I needed a friend.

40:16

And I said, I don't want friends like

40:18

this. So I decided I

40:20

was going to become an expert on gambling,

40:22

which I did. I picked up two books

40:25

from the library, Scarnion Dice

40:27

and Scarnion Cards, and I memorized

40:29

them all. And

40:31

in four months, I

40:33

won. Now, imagine this is like in 19, early 1950, I

40:35

won $750. Damn. How old? I was about 15 at that

40:37

time. I

40:49

just want to show you something. $750 at 15 years old is like $2 million.

40:55

He recovered this book. See

40:58

that blue suit? Yeah. This

41:01

is taken front of the old

41:03

Hollywood sign. Yeah, from

41:05

the old flamingo hotel. This

41:07

is the suit I bought to leave. Canada

41:10

was 17 to go to Las

41:13

Vegas to become a professional

41:17

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43:08

Kaylin court, okay. She loves

43:10

Kaylin Clark get on a

43:12

prize picks We thank you

43:14

for sponsoring the show. So

43:16

in any event I did that and

43:20

this this is really

43:26

I got on I just walked across

43:28

the bridge Niagara Falls asked me where

43:30

I was going and I said

43:32

Well, I just wanted to see the American

43:34

side of the falls and they said how long you're

43:36

gonna be here I say today so I said,

43:39

okay, let me go to the train station. I'm

43:41

on my way to Las Vegas become a professional

43:45

gambler and in northern

43:47

Las Vegas a train stops and

43:49

I think oh shit The RCMP

43:52

have called them and says stop

43:54

that train Johnny Barber this thief

43:56

is one Which

43:59

was true. So I

44:02

got off the train in the

44:04

closest place I could get to,

44:06

Sam, was Lake

44:08

Tahoe. So I

44:10

get on the bus, I go to Lake

44:13

Tahoe, and I get on in front of

44:15

the Cal Niva lots. Now you can imagine

44:17

this. As a kid, I

44:20

lived in the theater, and

44:23

for a nickel I could see two movies.

44:26

And my favorite was, of course, Jimmy

44:28

Stewart movies and Frank Capra movies. That's

44:31

why I fell in love with America.

44:34

And Julie Garland and

44:37

Mickey Rooney. So I walked in there,

44:39

and it's like walking into an MGM

44:41

set. And the first thing

44:43

I do is I buy the steps to

44:45

put on my head so that I'm

44:48

not all hat and no cattle

44:50

or something, whatever that expression is.

44:54

Oh my god, it was like a

44:56

technicolor world for me. And

44:59

I walked around a while and I soaked it

45:01

up. And then I went to the end of

45:03

the craft table and I started playing craps. And

45:05

I was holding my own, and people started

45:07

looking at me. I thought,

45:10

oh my god, they know I'm only 17 years

45:12

of age. You're going to call the law on me. And

45:16

I thought, oh god, what am I going to

45:18

do? But I kept doing it. And then pretty

45:20

soon people at the bar, Sam, were

45:22

looking over my way. Then

45:24

I realized they were not looking at

45:26

me. They were looking past

45:29

me. So I turned around to see what

45:31

they were looking at. And walking

45:33

through these glass doors, arm

45:35

in arm, was

45:38

Frank Sinatra. Oh, snaps

45:41

with Sam Giancana.

45:44

And his overcoat

45:47

was draped over him like an

45:50

Italian Superman. They had about five

45:52

Italian peettorium guards. Everybody got

45:55

deathly quiet as they walked

45:57

by. A week early.

46:01

I had seen him in the movie as

46:03

the clouds rolled by the Jerome Kern story

46:05

and There's Sinatra at the

46:07

end and I'm sure you seen this.

46:09

He's standing on this white pedestal singing

46:13

Old Man River every good every bit

46:15

as good as Paul Robeson and 25

46:19

years later by accident. I

46:21

was his private writer for four and a

46:23

half years. Whoa Oh Well,

46:26

you you've just touched on something there that I was

46:28

gonna wait till later But it seems appropriate now your

46:30

might you might be the only person I'll ever get

46:32

to meet who's actually met Dean Martin and Steve Allen

46:35

Is that right? Did you meet Dean Martin? I

46:37

see him on your your credit Well,

46:40

you know what? I'm gonna jump for it forward

46:43

and tell you a couple of stories about Dean

46:45

Martin if you don't mind would love it I

46:47

Dean Martin's one of my comedy heroes. I grew

46:49

up on I Martin Lewis. I mean, it's everything

46:51

to me I just feel

46:53

bad that these kids because cable

46:55

used to be where you could watch

46:58

all the classics Yeah, and now because

47:00

of these streaming services We're

47:03

there. They're just churning out so much new

47:05

stuff. You never gave the old stuff. Yeah

47:08

Well, it's heartbreaking You don't get

47:10

the old stuff Sam because my

47:12

wife and I feel we lived

47:14

through the golden age of American

47:16

Entertainment and politics and the politics

47:18

ended on November 22nd 1963

47:22

when the government murdered John Kennedy

47:24

in a public assassination just like they

47:27

did Julie Caesar anyway,

47:29

the Dean Martin Dean

47:32

Martin was by far the

47:34

most professional Entertainer

47:37

I ever met who was a

47:39

major star I

47:42

was on this show a half a dozen

47:44

times the show was produced by a guy

47:47

named Greg Garrison I'll tell you what

47:49

a nice guy Dean Martin was my

47:51

son at Six

47:53

years of age was a Caucasian Tiger

47:56

Woods and Dean Martin

47:58

used to lose dollars

48:00

a day every day at the

48:03

Riviera Country Club and it was

48:05

play money for him because he was

48:07

unbelievably rich. Well one day he sees

48:09

me playing with my six-year-old

48:11

son hitting a few balls and he comes

48:13

over and he says, John

48:16

hey that's your son? I said yeah,

48:18

Christopher. He goes over to Christopher and

48:20

he says to Christopher how

48:22

would you like to play 18 holes of golf with

48:25

me? My son says,

48:27

Daddy can I do that? I said

48:30

absolutely get in the car and what

48:32

did Dean did? Now two guys

48:34

that hustled him lied

48:37

about their handicaps but

48:40

Dean didn't care. He just

48:42

loved playing with them and he would give them $2,000 a day and

48:45

I'll explain to you how he became so

48:48

rich. So Dean would

48:50

have my son hit a ball 30 yards. Dean

48:52

would hit it 185 maybe 200. He'd pick up

48:54

my son's ball,

48:58

drive up pick up. They played 18

49:01

and tire holes like

49:04

that. So about 14

49:07

years ago I was remembering that

49:09

story and I thought I'd send Dean a thank

49:12

you note because he used to send me notes

49:14

all the time because he loved my work and

49:17

he told me not to tell people that

49:19

he loved my work about the assassination and

49:21

stuff like that. That was private and

49:26

he had just died and

49:29

he never recovered from the plane

49:31

crash of his son into

49:34

the mountains in San Bernardino. But

49:36

now back to Dean. When

49:39

I got on his show, his

49:43

first show he was hired

49:46

to be like the Italian Ed Sullivan.

49:49

Here's a singer, here's

49:51

an acrobat, here's a

49:53

puppet, stuff like that. That

49:55

was not Dean and he was bombing

49:58

and then we're gonna cancel the show. So

50:01

his director's name was Greg Garrison.

50:05

And he called Greg for lunch and

50:07

thanked him for being his director and

50:10

he was off to make some movies. And

50:14

Greg says, you've done fucking Gago,

50:16

more people will see you in

50:19

television than those fucking movies you

50:21

make. And he says, but

50:24

they don't want me anymore. He

50:27

says, because you're not an Italian

50:29

Ed Solomon, you're Dean Martin. What

50:31

are you known for? The ladies,

50:34

the boss and the song. Okay.

50:38

So Dean says, well, what are you trying to say? Look

50:40

at you should, you

50:43

should have a piano bar

50:46

and you should walk out and have a drink in

50:48

your hand. John,

50:51

John, you should have a

50:53

flock of girls around you.

50:56

And we'll call him the golden girls. Okay.

51:00

Whoa, I didn't know that. That's

51:02

crazy. So yeah, the

51:05

gold diggers. I think they're

51:07

called. Anyway, Dean said, if

51:10

I can talk to me into giving me one

51:12

more chance, will you post my

51:16

show? And he

51:18

said, no, I mean, will

51:20

you produce my show? And he said, no. And Dean

51:25

said, why wouldn't you produce it? He

51:27

says, because you got no taste sometimes when

51:29

it comes to guests. If

51:32

I'm going to be the producer, I have

51:35

to have vinyl save who the guests are. And

51:38

Dean says, that's wonderful because I hate to

51:41

think. So I

51:43

want you to do that. They shook hands.

51:47

That handshake never

51:49

made it into writing. And

51:51

when Dean Martin died, that

51:55

handshake held up in court. Greg

51:57

Garrison owned half. everything

52:00

that Dean Martin owned, Dean

52:03

Martin became the largest

52:05

shareholder in RCA. The

52:08

largest single, he became a

52:11

billionaire just because of

52:13

that suggestion. Now we get

52:15

to me, I've got two stories about me

52:17

and really. John, real quick, real quick, I

52:20

want to tell you why I love that story because

52:23

I just feel that like there's

52:25

so many people out there that

52:28

just think if they do

52:31

what somebody else did, that

52:33

they're gonna get the same results and that's

52:35

a big problem we have in society right

52:37

now where it's not really about equal

52:40

opportunity, they want equal results, right? And

52:42

that's not how life works and the

52:44

fact that somebody told Dean Martin is

52:46

like you're not doing you. Dean Martin.

52:48

Right? So like you might, I don't

52:51

know if you know this comedian, John,

52:53

but his name is

52:56

Sebastian Maniscalco and

52:58

he's a very big comedian right now. He's the

53:02

Italian celebrity right now. He's the

53:04

big Italian celebrity and we used

53:06

to go on the road together

53:10

and now he's play like he's gonna be

53:12

the first comedian to play this

53:14

new dome in LA called the Into a

53:16

Dome that, yeah, he's gonna be the first

53:18

comedian to play it, right? You know he

53:20

just did the Hollywood Bowl with all these

53:23

big guys and so we used to co-headline

53:25

together and you know the notion

53:27

that if I would have done what Sebastian

53:30

did, we would be in the same place

53:33

is ridiculous. It worked

53:35

because that was Sebastian and

53:37

so when you hear somebody and I want people to

53:39

listen to this like you have to you have to

53:42

know you and then play

53:44

to your strengths in life. That's

53:46

the key to all of it. You

53:48

know what imitation is? Immitation

53:52

is a mysterious form of a

53:54

lack of talent. So now I'm

53:56

gonna get back to Dean Martin.

54:00

Thank you for sharing the Dean Martin.

54:03

That's a great story. I love that

54:05

story. I'm not finished with Dean. Okay,

54:07

okay. The best is yet to come.

54:09

Please, please keep going. It

54:12

also involves Red Fox

54:14

because Red Fox was

54:17

mining through as a comic when

54:19

I started as a comic. When

54:22

I got my first entertainment show,

54:24

I put him on as a guest.

54:29

They opposed my having him on the

54:31

show because he used to do these

54:33

filthy party records, but I

54:35

knew how witty could be because once

54:37

when I described Jim Garrison to him

54:40

as being such a hero, Red Fox

54:42

said, heroes ain't born.

54:45

They're cornered. That's

54:48

great. Wow. It's

54:51

true because Jim Garrison was

54:53

cornered by the only descending

54:56

member of the Warren Commission,

54:58

Congressman Hale Boggs, which we'll

55:00

get to later because I

55:02

had two really important Dean Martin stories

55:05

to tell you because I had, first

55:07

of all, I had little or no

55:10

interest in the assassination at the

55:13

time. And even though

55:15

it was after the time I

55:17

had hosted the AAM show and

55:19

lost my job because I tried

55:21

to book Jim Garrison after reading

55:23

his book, Heritage of Stone, but

55:26

I forgot it. I thought, Sam,

55:28

that show business, you have two weeks, you have a week,

55:30

you have a month, you have a year, and then you're

55:32

gone. So anyway, in

55:36

the Dean Martin show, like

55:39

all variety shows, they have a

55:41

dress rehearsal and the

55:43

dress rehearsal is before a live

55:45

audience and they keep that audience.

55:48

So anyway, I'm in the middle

55:51

of the stage and

55:53

they put me in

55:55

front of the camera. Greg Garrison's up in

55:57

the booth. He says, okay, John. Let's

56:00

go. So I

56:03

start to do the reason they booked me. I,

56:05

uh, it was something, it was

56:07

a routine I did when I

56:10

was first on the Merv Griffin show.

56:12

And by the way, when Merv Griffin

56:14

left Westinghouse to go to CBS, I

56:17

was signed at his recommendation

56:20

to Westinghouse to replace him. And

56:24

so I, and my ratings were higher than

56:26

his because I did stand up and he

56:28

only did bad songs. And

56:32

the routine was that, you know, I'm

56:35

half, uh, my mother's,

56:37

uh, my mother's

56:40

scotch, my father's Jewish,

56:42

uh, my mother's Jewish, my father's scotch, which

56:46

means you can mix anything with scotch. I

56:50

was very embarrassed because I was

56:52

the only kid at synagogue with

56:54

a flat skull cap and you

56:56

don't know how tough it is

56:59

to play the bag by, uh,

57:01

hobbling the gill in the bag.

57:03

But anyway, great Garrison hollers upstairs.

57:06

He says, hold it, John. Hold it. Hold it. He

57:09

comes downstairs and

57:11

he puts his arm around me. Says, John, you

57:13

know, I go to the jazz club and

57:16

I see you doing some really good

57:18

political stuff. And he said, you

57:21

know, these shows are going to rerun for 30 or 40

57:23

years. Do

57:25

you think you could do maybe a

57:27

couple of political jokes that might last

57:29

that long or I

57:31

should own this to Garrison on G I don't

57:34

know. I, he said, well, if

57:36

I give you a couple of minutes to

57:38

walk around, will you think about it? I'm

57:40

the audience is smiling and a couple of

57:42

people applaud because they're inside your business. So

57:44

I start walking around. After

57:47

two minutes, it pops into my head.

57:49

Wow. Crystal clear.

57:52

So I tap the mic. Hey, Greg, can

57:54

I come up and tell you what the

57:56

joke is? He says, you're

57:59

not swearing. No, we're not going

58:01

to be sued. No, okay. Forget

58:03

the Jew stuff and do the new joke.

58:06

That's the audience of thoughts. So

58:09

I look at the audience and I said, you

58:11

know, if you've been reading the paper lately, you'll

58:14

see that Lyndon Johnson's daughter

58:18

is engaged to a pilot named Charles

58:20

Robb. And they all smile, smile, smile.

58:24

And I said, what you

58:26

don't know, haven't heard of though,

58:29

that Earl Warren, who was

58:31

the head

58:34

of the Supreme Court, wants

58:37

to do the service.

58:40

And they smile and they nod. And

58:43

he calls the president and says, Mr. President,

58:45

I would like to do the service. It

58:47

would be an absolute honor. And

58:50

President Johnson turns him down. And

58:53

nobody knows why he turns him down, but

58:55

here's why he turns him down. He

58:59

says, listen, Earl, after

59:01

what you did, screwing

59:03

up that goddamn Warren commission,

59:06

I don't want to look back in 13 years and

59:08

find out my daughter ain't married. Well,

59:12

Sam, you heard the

59:15

biggest, most thunderous

59:17

applause I ever heard because

59:19

I didn't think anybody thought about

59:22

Jim Garrison or thought about

59:24

John Kennedy or thought about that. People

59:26

were standing up and cheering. Greg

59:29

brushes down with a guy in a blue suit. Oh,

59:32

here we go. We have standards

59:34

and practices. They

59:37

have no standards and that's what they practice.

59:42

And the guy says, you were not doing

59:44

that joke. And I said, hey, hold it.

59:46

I didn't say anything about Lee Harzaby Oswald

59:48

didn't do it or anything like that. It's

59:50

just about the war. NBC

59:54

stands behind the Warren

59:56

report. You are not going to

59:58

do that. Oh my God. Oh my God.

1:00:00

That is so crazy to me. Greg

1:00:05

puts his armor on me, wasted the

1:00:07

audience, says, sorry, but John's got to

1:00:09

do the juice stuff again. So

1:00:11

I do that and I'm a

1:00:13

huge hit. I'm in a monster

1:00:16

hit because they like me because

1:00:18

of what I said before. Not

1:00:20

these, they were these. So when

1:00:22

it's over, Greg

1:00:24

calls me to come upstairs and

1:00:28

I think, oh my God, they're going

1:00:30

to offer me a show. That's

1:00:33

for my sake. So

1:00:35

I go upstairs and Greg

1:00:37

says to me, wonderful

1:00:39

show, good for you. You

1:00:42

know what, John? My

1:00:46

favorite women are brunettes.

1:00:49

What the hell is that? I'm telling you this for.

1:00:52

And my very favorite brunettes

1:00:54

are Mexican. I

1:00:57

just love them. Now I

1:00:59

know what he's talking about. He's

1:01:01

talking about my wife, Sarita. Sarita

1:01:04

look, could dance better than

1:01:06

Ginger Rogers. Sarita

1:01:08

look like Jennifer Jones. She

1:01:10

was knocked down gorgeous.

1:01:12

Every day, celebrities, the biggest were

1:01:15

hitting on her. So

1:01:17

he says, do you mind if

1:01:19

I ask her out? And

1:01:21

I say, Greg, hold on. You have

1:01:23

a reputation of fucking everybody's

1:01:26

wife in town. And I'm sure

1:01:28

you can ask for permission to

1:01:30

ball her wise. You just make

1:01:33

them to a Motel six or

1:01:35

do whatever it is you do.

1:01:38

So don't be asking me. Ask

1:01:41

Sarita. He

1:01:44

says, you give me permission to

1:01:46

ask Sarita. I said, absolutely. So

1:01:50

I start to walk out the

1:01:52

door and I'm really pissed. And

1:01:55

then I stopped and I turned. And I said,

1:01:57

hey, Greg, do you think

1:01:59

you have money? more sex appeal than

1:02:01

Frank Sinatra. He

1:02:04

said, what are you talking about? I

1:02:06

said, well, you know, Sinatra hits

1:02:09

on her all the time. I

1:02:12

mean, often and

1:02:14

real, and she always turns

1:02:17

him down. Now

1:02:19

you think you're more appealing than Mr.

1:02:21

Sinatra, you go ahead and

1:02:23

ask her. And then he says

1:02:25

to me, you can

1:02:28

kiss your ass and Dean Martin show

1:02:30

goodbye. Whoa. So

1:02:33

I leave and it doesn't matter to me.

1:02:36

That's crazy. And that just totally fits

1:02:38

in the, what garbage Hollywood is?

1:02:41

Like, hey, dude, either let me bang your

1:02:43

wife or you lose your show. Everything we

1:02:45

hear all the time. Oh my, like every

1:02:47

day I get more and more excited about

1:02:49

my journey and where I am in my

1:02:51

life. When I don't realize I got to

1:02:53

work with scumbags. Like that

1:02:55

scumbags. Oh, okay. Now

1:02:58

get this is even better. Oh

1:03:00

my God. This is even better

1:03:04

because red Fox was my closest friend. When

1:03:07

I had him on my entertainment show,

1:03:09

his name was John Sanford and

1:03:12

Norman Lear saw him there and

1:03:15

red Fox ad lived one

1:03:17

of the funniest lines in the history

1:03:19

of television. And I'll tell you

1:03:21

what the line is. And

1:03:24

I was embarrassed to ask the question because

1:03:26

I knew his act and

1:03:29

I knew when he could be clean and funny.

1:03:31

For example, he walked out and you know

1:03:34

those pants the Scots wear

1:03:36

when they play golf, they're rolled

1:03:38

up. Yeah. They're

1:03:40

called knickers. So when I

1:03:42

introduced red, red comes out. Here

1:03:45

we go. Here you go. And

1:03:47

Ray comes out and just is looking at

1:03:49

the audience. Don't say a word in the

1:03:51

audience is giggling and he

1:03:53

points at these knickers. He says, I just

1:03:55

came back from the South. I

1:03:58

heard this name a lot. So I

1:04:00

thought I'd buy some. So, okay.

1:04:04

So red sits down and I

1:04:07

asked him about black power. That's the time

1:04:09

of the black farm. He

1:04:11

says, I don't care about black power.

1:04:13

I don't care about white power because

1:04:16

I only care

1:04:18

about green power. Cause you got the

1:04:20

money. You can buy the places where the

1:04:22

whites and blacks hold their meat. This

1:04:27

is what I had lived in. I was sorry.

1:04:29

I did because I didn't want, I didn't know

1:04:31

what he was going to say. And

1:04:34

I leaned back and you can see them

1:04:36

on YouTube. I leaned back and I

1:04:38

see red. Why do you think

1:04:40

money's colored green without missing

1:04:43

a beat? He says, Oh, that's cause

1:04:45

Jews pick it before it gets ripe.

1:04:50

Oh my God. What a liar.

1:04:52

Oh dude. So quick to be

1:04:54

that quick, man. Red box

1:04:57

is the best. I love red box. He

1:04:59

and Jackie Mason with the two quickest comments

1:05:01

that I ever known. And my first

1:05:03

pilot for real people at

1:05:05

ABC, Jackie Mason was going to be

1:05:08

my consumer advocate.

1:05:10

Now we get to the best

1:05:12

part of the red box story.

1:05:14

Voices too, by the way, Jackie Mason and

1:05:16

red Fox, two of the greatest voices in

1:05:18

common. I remember Jackie Mason's

1:05:20

first joke when I say I was

1:05:22

deported from the United States twice. I

1:05:24

don't want to get into the first

1:05:26

story, which could be a movie. It's

1:05:28

hilarious. But it was

1:05:31

in the mid fifties. I

1:05:33

was not a comic. I didn't even know I

1:05:36

could write or do anything like that. I was

1:05:38

just here wanting to be in America. I didn't

1:05:40

want to be in Canada and

1:05:42

he's on the Ed Sullivan show. And

1:05:45

his first line was I'm so

1:05:47

insecure when I go to a football

1:05:49

game and they have to be honest. I

1:05:51

think he's talking about me. It's

1:05:55

a joke. And we became friends for

1:05:57

life as I did with red Fox.

1:06:00

and helped him get his one-man show

1:06:02

in Hollywood, which led to

1:06:04

a series of shows in

1:06:07

New York City. I've got thousands of these

1:06:09

stories, but in any event, Red

1:06:12

Fox's name was John Sanford. Norman

1:06:14

Lear acquired a

1:06:17

property called Stepto and Son from

1:06:20

England, turned it into Sanford and

1:06:22

Son. Wow. And

1:06:24

he called himself Fred because

1:06:28

his older brother, whom he really admired,

1:06:30

died. That's why he became Fred Sanford

1:06:33

on the show. Wow.

1:06:35

And he was Malcolm X's closest

1:06:37

friend. They stole and went

1:06:40

to jail together. And if you

1:06:42

go to my website, Wow. if

1:06:45

you go to johnbarbersworld.com,

1:06:48

you will see a dozen interviews with

1:06:50

Red Fox, and he talks about going

1:06:52

to jail. Will Malcolm

1:06:54

X and sleeping on

1:06:56

the roof of buildings in

1:06:59

the wintertime because he had no place to

1:07:01

sleep. But anyway, being

1:07:03

so close, and

1:07:09

also with Sinatra. Okay,

1:07:11

so Dean Martin now goes on

1:07:13

to do the roasts. And

1:07:17

I am Frank Sinatra's

1:07:19

private writer for four and a half

1:07:21

years. When

1:07:23

he gets the Tonight Show, because

1:07:27

he was not fond of Johnny

1:07:30

Carson. Who wasn't? Who was that?

1:07:33

And Johnny Carson tried to get rid of me a

1:07:35

half a dozen times for five

1:07:38

years that I was with the

1:07:40

consecutive MBCs at NBC. I never

1:07:42

had a contract. I was fired

1:07:44

three times and brought that the

1:07:46

next day by public demand. Carson

1:07:49

was just the most insecure drunk I

1:07:51

ever met. I don't want to tell

1:07:53

this story, but let's go. Okay,

1:07:58

so. But

1:08:00

I will tell you this story

1:08:02

about Frank Sinatra.

1:08:06

He is going to be roasted on

1:08:09

the Martin show. So

1:08:11

he calls me up. Now at the

1:08:13

time, I'm working on the revival

1:08:16

of Lappin as their critic at

1:08:18

large and writing the

1:08:20

stuff for Sinatra. And

1:08:23

I'm the only one he wants to write

1:08:25

his joke. And so

1:08:27

Schlotter has a staff of 16 writers. He

1:08:30

fires them all, except for me. I'm

1:08:33

on there. And that's the show we

1:08:35

introduced Robin Williams on. And

1:08:37

oh my God, what an explosion of

1:08:40

talent. In any event, Francis

1:08:43

calls me and he says,

1:08:46

I'm gonna be on Dean's Roast and you're gonna

1:08:48

be with first one on the dais. And

1:08:51

I said, Greg Garrison is

1:08:53

gonna let you book me

1:08:55

on that show. He says, yeah, I'm gonna call

1:08:57

right now. He

1:09:00

calls back in about two minutes. And he says,

1:09:03

what the fuck did you do to Greg

1:09:05

Garrison? He said,

1:09:07

no. And he said,

1:09:09

you know, I wouldn't call Dean because

1:09:12

Dean had promised Greg that he could

1:09:14

produce the show, so I'm really sorry

1:09:16

about that. I said, hey, don't be sorry at

1:09:19

all for God's sake. You know what an honor

1:09:21

it is for me? I was

1:09:23

an orphan kid here when I was 17. I'm

1:09:27

writing and friends with

1:09:30

the most prominent entertainer in America and

1:09:32

I don't give a shit if anybody

1:09:34

knows it. I know it and it

1:09:36

makes me happy. Oh, that's so nice.

1:09:38

Well, something will happen. So anyway,

1:09:41

he gets a tonight show and

1:09:46

calls me and says, okay,

1:09:48

now it's your turn to be on the

1:09:50

tonight show. Now, if you go to my

1:09:52

YouTube, you will see the

1:09:55

five minutes that I wrote turned in almost 10

1:09:58

minutes. And there's a great. Great story

1:10:00

about how Carson tried to sabotage

1:10:02

me there, but back to

1:10:05

Dean Martin. Dang, bro. That's so

1:10:07

crazy. Back to Dean,

1:10:09

what do you want to get in one more time?

1:10:11

Pick up where you want. First off, I've got to tell

1:10:13

you, there is no

1:10:16

profession harder than being a comic. I

1:10:18

agree, dude. You've got a singer, you've got a

1:10:21

band behind you, you're a soldier, you've got a

1:10:23

gun in your hand, you've got soldiers. But

1:10:25

when you're a comic, you have to

1:10:27

stand there bare naked soul and

1:10:30

make people laugh. And in my

1:10:32

book is about 20 pages of

1:10:35

all the great comics that I

1:10:37

have known. I spent the

1:10:39

last week with Lenny Bruce

1:10:41

before the police murdered

1:10:43

him. But I

1:10:45

don't want to get to that. I just want to finish

1:10:47

telling his story. Now

1:10:50

Red Fox is going to be on

1:10:53

the Dean Martin show. The

1:10:56

roast. So he

1:10:59

calls me and says, I'm going to be on

1:11:01

the roast and you're going to be on the

1:11:03

roast. So I said, I do

1:11:05

not think so. You haven't talked to Mr. Garrison

1:11:07

yet. He said, I'll get right back to you.

1:11:11

So he goes into the office

1:11:14

and he gives him a list of the comics that he

1:11:16

would like to have. And on top of the

1:11:18

list is John Barber. And

1:11:20

Greg Garrison says, oh, give me the list. He

1:11:23

tears up and he throws it in

1:11:26

the trash. And he says, uh,

1:11:28

red, there will be no John Barber

1:11:30

on this roast. And

1:11:33

red said, then find yourself another

1:11:35

nigger. Oh, ho, ho, man. Bang,

1:11:38

bang, pow. Bang, bang,

1:11:41

pow. Greg

1:11:44

has no choice. He gets to call

1:11:46

me and he says,

1:11:48

listen, I hate making this

1:11:50

phone call, but the

1:11:52

only way I can get red on the

1:11:54

show is to have you on

1:11:57

and I'll have some of the guys write

1:11:59

stuff for you. I said, hold the second.

1:12:02

You're not going to have anybody write anything

1:12:04

for me ever. I

1:12:06

write my own stuff all the time. And

1:12:08

I will write four or five minutes because

1:12:10

I know you've got a lot of people

1:12:13

coming on the show. If you

1:12:15

do not like it in your office,

1:12:18

I will not do the show. And I'll

1:12:20

tell Red, I don't want to do the

1:12:22

show because I'm not invited. So

1:12:24

I go into his office. There's

1:12:27

nobody there except

1:12:29

me and him. Dude, this is crazy,

1:12:31

right? And I give my five minutes

1:12:33

and he stares at me and he

1:12:35

stares at me. Whoa.

1:12:38

My fucking writers could write like

1:12:41

that. We'd be all fucking billionaires.

1:12:45

Got the five minutes. Okay. I said, now

1:12:47

the other thing you're going to do, what

1:12:50

do you mean the other thing I'm going to

1:12:52

do? You're on. That's enough. I said, listen, you

1:12:55

have all the comics and the dais and

1:12:58

the audience is out there and in front of

1:13:00

the audience are these cue

1:13:02

cards with all the fucking jokes on

1:13:05

them. You're not putting my stuff on

1:13:07

a cue card. It's up

1:13:09

here in my head and that's where it's

1:13:11

going to stay. Okay.

1:13:15

So he says, okay, now that's what happened.

1:13:17

Now my four or five

1:13:19

minutes turns into 10 minutes. Gee,

1:13:24

you know what? I will

1:13:26

tell you the

1:13:29

biggest laugh, the

1:13:31

best joke ever written at that time.

1:13:33

Oh, let's go. Was

1:13:36

a joke that I wrote about Red Park. No,

1:13:38

I want you to see it in its

1:13:40

entire, it's four minutes. You go

1:13:42

to YouTube, you Google Dean

1:13:44

Martin Roost with Red Fox

1:13:46

and John Barber. So I don't want to repeat

1:13:49

it because anyway, I

1:13:51

killed and the

1:13:53

five minutes went to 10 and

1:13:56

Dean comes up and he puts his arm around

1:13:58

me like that. Barbara

1:14:00

but be oh you

1:14:02

okay oh you found it he's got it

1:14:04

all right we're gonna play it real quick

1:14:07

let's hear it's only three four minutes play it

1:14:09

is it this John

1:14:12

can John Barbara roast red fox March

1:14:14

1st 1974 yeah that's it all right

1:14:17

two minutes two seconds let's hear it look

1:14:20

at uh oh wow look at that guy

1:14:22

I know right can you

1:14:24

turn up Johnny hold

1:14:26

on I gotta change one thing just gonna

1:14:29

be great where

1:14:31

were you Sam where was I at I

1:14:34

was here you're gonna that told red

1:14:36

just his motion got it nobody cooler

1:14:38

than Dean Martin look at that he's

1:14:40

so picture and television

1:14:42

critic John Barbara he's a

1:14:44

guy that told red that

1:14:46

his nightclub act was pornographic

1:14:49

red thought that was a compliment

1:14:51

and he went out and had

1:14:53

his picture taken ladies and

1:14:56

gentlemen here's NBC's critic

1:14:58

at large mr. John Barbara ladies

1:15:09

and gentlemen and those of

1:15:11

you who are uncommitted to either sex for

1:15:15

10 years I have

1:15:18

called red fox friend and for 10 years he's called me

1:15:26

Bob as

1:15:32

a comedian red fox

1:15:34

knows no equals superior

1:15:37

is yes ladies

1:15:49

and gentlemen it is a privilege for me to

1:15:51

be here this evening to honor red foxes the

1:15:54

man of the week even though

1:15:56

his wife says it isn't that often The

1:16:02

only thing in show business is dirtier than

1:16:05

Peter Fox Trenchcoat. Ladies

1:16:09

and gentlemen, as you know, Red Fox

1:16:11

was born in St. Louis, known

1:16:14

throughout America as Baja Pittsburgh. We've

1:16:21

seen a lot of changes in society and

1:16:24

show business since he began. Red

1:16:26

Fox can remember when Sammy Davis

1:16:28

was a Negro. Then

1:16:32

he became a black. Then

1:16:35

he embraced Judaism. Then

1:16:37

he was Jewish until he embraced Nixon. Now

1:16:41

he's a Negro again. Bang!

1:16:52

Fire, Bobby! Fire!

1:16:59

Now Dean puts his armor on

1:17:01

me and says, Wow!

1:17:04

I had to listen to that shit for

1:17:06

10 minutes? The

1:17:09

audience screams because here's their idol

1:17:11

Dean Martin saying shit in front

1:17:13

of the world. Oh

1:17:16

my God! Well, I

1:17:19

don't let anybody call my material

1:17:21

shit. I

1:17:24

turned to Dean and I said, Dean, in

1:17:28

the words of our esteemed guest, Fuck

1:17:32

you! Everybody

1:17:36

fell off their seats. Jesus

1:17:38

Christ, how can Johnny Barber do such a

1:17:40

horrible thing like this? I was a fan

1:17:42

of Bob's joyous career. Oh

1:17:45

my God! There was absolute thunder because

1:17:48

it went all around the country. Because

1:17:51

that was a feed to New York and everything else. And

1:17:57

yet, I became a closer friend to Dean

1:17:59

after that shit. So when

1:18:01

we play golf together often. And

1:18:03

the same happened when I was a critic. When

1:18:06

I bombed Burt Reynolds unbelievably, and I'm

1:18:08

doing a Saturday night show for 90

1:18:10

minutes on NBC, he calls up and

1:18:13

he says, hey, what time do

1:18:15

I have to be there? I

1:18:17

didn't book you. He said, I don't give a shit. I'm going

1:18:19

to be there. I'm going to be on your show. That's

1:18:23

the best interview Burt Reynolds ever did in

1:18:25

his life. And the same thing happened with

1:18:28

Neil Simon. I

1:18:30

blasted Neil Simon because he did

1:18:33

the Sunshine Boys. And

1:18:35

I said, you know, if, if, if, if

1:18:39

royalties were paid to William

1:18:41

Shakespeare, he still wouldn't make

1:18:43

as much money as Neil Simon. Neil

1:18:46

Simon does not need major

1:18:49

studios like Fox or NBC,

1:18:52

MGM or Universal to do his

1:18:54

movie. And he loves his work.

1:18:56

He pays for it himself. And

1:18:58

in New York, the Sunshine Boys

1:19:00

starred Sam Levine

1:19:03

and Jack Albertson, two

1:19:05

real Jews playing

1:19:07

two real Jewish comics. They

1:19:10

were so good. Anybody

1:19:14

who was Presbyterian could identify with

1:19:16

him. Anybody who was Catholic. Okay.

1:19:19

So now he comes out here to Hollywood. 20th

1:19:22

Century Fox turns it into a film. Walter

1:19:26

Mathau gets the only bad performance

1:19:28

in his life. George Burns, the

1:19:30

only poor performance in his life.

1:19:33

And I said the next

1:19:35

thing that Neil has Simon has to

1:19:37

write as a letter firing himself as

1:19:39

his own casting director. That's so funny.

1:19:42

That's so funny. And you know what?

1:19:44

Hang on a second here.

1:19:48

Here's I wasn't expecting the show. This

1:19:50

is a small book. It's

1:19:53

called the greatest reviews I ever

1:19:55

read. And it's written

1:19:57

by a woman who wrote six novels.

1:20:00

But he was the one who out that edit

1:20:02

my big book your mother's not a virgin Discovered

1:20:05

I was a film critic for 10

1:20:07

years at LA magazine She

1:20:10

wrote this book which is just

1:20:12

hysterical Recapping

1:20:15

the reviews that I did and

1:20:17

the responses to the stuff

1:20:19

like that. So anyway That's

1:20:22

where we are and I think

1:20:25

that's John Barber everybody. That's the wonderful

1:20:27

career and it's very interesting John because

1:20:29

I don't know if you've any

1:20:32

if you've been able to see gone from

1:20:34

roasting red fox to Tim Foy When

1:20:41

John is talking about the impact of this

1:20:43

roast and we just had this big roast

1:20:45

of Tom Brady the

1:20:48

football player on Netflix and

1:20:50

a good friend of ours went up there and kind of

1:20:52

like Changed his life By

1:20:55

I mean he was already killing it but like

1:20:57

this probably to another level And

1:21:00

he was doing jokes that were very uh, you

1:21:02

know John when you were doing the jokes that

1:21:04

you were you were talking about It really blew

1:21:06

my mind because it is kind of parallel to

1:21:08

what we just saw my friend go through these

1:21:11

societal norms that he's pushing

1:21:14

back again and it's

1:21:16

interesting to me because the political and this

1:21:19

is kind of uh, When

1:21:22

you kind of look at like where censorship has

1:21:24

come from You know

1:21:26

when in your day the censorship and

1:21:28

I could be wrong But it seemed to come from the

1:21:30

right to the left and whereas now

1:21:33

it's the left to the right and

1:21:36

and it sounds like When

1:21:39

what you were doing was kind of pushing

1:21:41

back on that and I'm putting out kind

1:21:43

of stuff that the

1:21:46

establishment maybe wasn't ready for or

1:21:48

didn't want and for some reason

1:21:50

this roast is kind of like

1:21:53

Catapulted this kind of comedy That

1:21:56

we just had kind of to you're talking about the

1:21:58

Tom Brady roast the Tom Brady roast to

1:22:01

the reason for that is not

1:22:04

only was he funny he was

1:22:06

telling the truth yes

1:22:09

100% and that is that is

1:22:11

it like that's where we are

1:22:13

right now we've gotten so far

1:22:15

away from being provocative that we

1:22:17

can be provocative anymore Sam

1:22:19

speaking up right now listen

1:22:23

if you are silent you

1:22:26

are co-conspirator and any

1:22:28

crimes being committed thank you John

1:22:31

yeah thank you so

1:22:35

I write jokes about every everybody but

1:22:38

I'm gonna tell you too and I

1:22:40

I have sent a couple to you

1:22:42

you're the only one I send them to

1:22:44

hoping that you might mild them because I

1:22:46

don't I don't go on I only

1:22:49

go on as a guest now and

1:22:51

I like to be by myself

1:22:54

anyway I live in

1:22:56

the gambling capital of the world as

1:22:58

you very well know that

1:23:02

it's a Vatican and it's the

1:23:04

mecca of gambling and the

1:23:06

thing that they are betting on now

1:23:09

it's not a hockey game during

1:23:11

the NHL playoffs it's not basketball

1:23:13

it's not anything it's

1:23:16

politics and it happens to

1:23:18

be Donald Trump and

1:23:20

what they're betting on is

1:23:23

whether or not Donald

1:23:25

Trump will take this stand

1:23:30

in defense of himself in this trial

1:23:33

with where Stormy Daniel just

1:23:35

testified yesterday and testifies

1:23:38

again tomorrow and

1:23:40

I only bet on

1:23:42

two things I bet on hockey

1:23:45

because I created

1:23:47

help create the celebrity hockey team

1:23:49

in Hollywood which is still going

1:23:51

strong with an actor named Bo

1:23:53

Swenson and the other

1:23:56

thing in the all

1:23:59

the years I've been in the United States

1:24:02

legally, I have never

1:24:05

lost a bet on an election.

1:24:08

And it has nothing to do, Sam,

1:24:10

with the fact that I'm a political

1:24:12

pundit because I'm not, I just absolutely

1:24:14

hate politics. Yeah, I'm with you. As

1:24:18

a comic, if you

1:24:20

made jokes, you have to be fair and

1:24:22

make them on both sides. So

1:24:26

I made them when Trump

1:24:28

was running and Hillary,

1:24:31

the wicked witch of the North was

1:24:33

running, who shouldn't have been up there.

1:24:35

Bernie Sanders should have played that tape

1:24:38

of that wicked witch of the North

1:24:40

saying about Qaddafi, we came, we saw,

1:24:42

we murdered her. I

1:24:45

mean, Jesus Christ, what

1:24:47

a dreadful woman. Anyway, the

1:24:51

jokes I wrote about her got bigger

1:24:53

laughs. And so I

1:24:55

was one of the very first people to

1:24:57

say Donald Trump is going to win this

1:24:59

election. MSNBC, NBC,

1:25:02

CBS, every bit of

1:25:04

mainstream media called it

1:25:06

for Hillary. And

1:25:09

I called it for Donald Trump, which

1:25:11

he won. Okay. So now I

1:25:15

made a very large bet on the fact

1:25:18

that he is going to take the stand. Whoa.

1:25:22

People are betting on that? Yes,

1:25:24

because to get him to close

1:25:26

his mouth is tougher than

1:25:29

getting the hookers at the bunny ranch

1:25:31

and Peron to close the lane. And

1:25:36

now I sent you a joke this morning,

1:25:39

which I, I loved. I

1:25:41

didn't, I was hoping that I would

1:25:44

hear it, but, and that is because.

1:25:48

I imagine, well,

1:25:51

well, people ask me who I'm going to

1:25:53

vote for. I say John Kennedy because

1:25:55

him dead is better than either one

1:25:57

of these guys alive. Biden

1:26:00

is the Titanic, which sank, and

1:26:03

Trump is the Hindenburg,

1:26:05

which is still going down in flames.

1:26:08

So you can forget that.

1:26:10

But I said, imagine what

1:26:14

a peaceful country America

1:26:17

could be, and imagine

1:26:21

how the entire press now

1:26:24

could more importantly focus

1:26:26

on all the issues

1:26:28

that matter to this country and to

1:26:30

the world like war and peace. If

1:26:33

only Donald Trump's

1:26:36

father was the

1:26:38

one to wear a condom. So,

1:26:42

so yeah, you don't like both sides, huh?

1:26:45

John, you, I think

1:26:48

you're kind of like me. You just

1:26:50

see it's like in a weird way, a uniparty,

1:26:52

and everybody's waiting for these politicians

1:26:54

to save up. The Gorbodal said that

1:26:56

50 years ago, it

1:26:58

is a uniparty. He

1:27:01

said, it's not an eagle with a left wing

1:27:03

and a right wing. He said, it's a vulture.

1:27:06

And each wing is attached to

1:27:08

the vulture. Now the Gorbodal was

1:27:11

born into the upper classes. And

1:27:14

the real revolutions that

1:27:16

have happened in this world that are

1:27:18

political, that have matter, don't come from

1:27:21

the bottom up, they

1:27:23

come from the top down

1:27:25

because those in the top

1:27:27

know how corrupt the goddamn

1:27:29

system is. And, you

1:27:32

know, it's like, people

1:27:34

ask me, when

1:27:36

I was a critic all the time about

1:27:38

how do I review movies? So I use

1:27:40

my heart, do I use my soul, do

1:27:42

my mind? I said, no, I

1:27:45

use my ass. And you need

1:27:47

to use your ass. I said, well, if my ass

1:27:49

moves, he's my mind.

1:27:51

You tell me, why is my ass moving?

1:27:55

And I said, quite honestly, it's

1:27:57

been my experience that

1:27:59

like movies, Because 99 out of 100

1:28:02

people are absolute shit. Same

1:28:04

with movies. But you come

1:28:06

across that one, let's

1:28:09

say it's networked with Patty Shiesky, that

1:28:11

makes it worth going through the other

1:28:13

99 pieces of

1:28:15

shit, or the 99

1:28:17

people that are pieces of shit. An

1:28:21

enemy can never hurt you. It

1:28:24

is always a friend. They're

1:28:27

the killers. They're the ones who hurt you. And

1:28:30

that hit rate is a lot lower for politicians too.

1:28:32

It's more like one in 200. Anybody

1:28:35

who would pursue the presidency

1:28:37

especially is just a psychopath.

1:28:40

Especially when you take a look at the

1:28:42

like, I consider myself an old school liberal,

1:28:45

old school, which seems to be more of

1:28:47

a libertarian right now than a progressive

1:28:50

or a super conservative.

1:28:54

But you know, it's like when you think about

1:28:56

all these Democrats, it's like all the

1:28:58

old school liberals I know, they

1:29:00

don't want to run for power. They don't want to

1:29:02

run for office. They don't want to run. They don't

1:29:04

want power. They help on a local level. And

1:29:07

so anybody running for office is extremely

1:29:09

shady to me. Now, I want to

1:29:11

get into something, John. I'm going to

1:29:13

be honest with you. During

1:29:16

COVID, I would always think about you.

1:29:18

I would text you once in a

1:29:20

while, see how you were doing. I

1:29:23

was very concerned because COVID was really

1:29:25

crazy, especially to your

1:29:27

age demographic. I was very

1:29:29

nervous. I was waiting for that.

1:29:33

I'm very happy to see you not

1:29:35

only surviving it, but

1:29:37

thriving after it. What

1:29:40

are your thoughts on the whole COVID situation?

1:29:43

I mean, like, it just seems to

1:29:45

me like it did a

1:29:47

lot. Regardless of

1:29:49

whether you believe it was a real

1:29:51

pandemic or not, but it seems to

1:29:54

have done so much damage to our

1:29:56

economy, in particular

1:29:58

the mom and pop. Stores

1:30:00

like they're all they're all I

1:30:03

mean there's been stories about all the

1:30:05

restaurants that close Because of

1:30:07

Covid all the mom-and-pop stores that closed

1:30:09

because of Covid what are your thoughts

1:30:11

on the whole thing? Well,

1:30:13

I actually I don't have any thoughts

1:30:16

Maybe one or two the one thought

1:30:18

is that you know whether it happened

1:30:20

by accident or on purpose from Wuhan

1:30:23

in China as on

1:30:25

Trump claims is is

1:30:28

Unprovable if it's unprovable there's nothing I

1:30:30

can do about but I did

1:30:33

say The thing

1:30:35

that is going to happen because of

1:30:37

Covid It

1:30:39

may destroy America's

1:30:43

family unit forever

1:30:47

and I said a lot of

1:30:49

people don't know this okay Gloria

1:30:56

Steinem work for the CIA and

1:31:01

Before Gloria Steinem Maybe

1:31:03

your father for example now my mother

1:31:05

just worked in a in a

1:31:08

in a in a craze piece or a

1:31:10

World War store Very

1:31:12

low pay but she could pay the rent for

1:31:14

her house and support three kids even though She

1:31:16

was a god-awful mother and a

1:31:18

man at that time could buy a house

1:31:20

and raise a kid. Yes now What

1:31:24

happens the taxes that

1:31:26

you and I pay? Are

1:31:29

prayed to a private company called

1:31:31

the Federal Reserve Nobody

1:31:34

knows this I mean the people listen to

1:31:36

snow this but man when you bring this

1:31:38

up to other people their minds flow They

1:31:40

can't understand that you you know, it's so

1:31:43

funny John I did a buddy's podcast and

1:31:45

he decided to have adult film stars on

1:31:47

it and they were asking this adult film

1:31:50

star What are her thoughts

1:31:52

on the economy and all this stuff? She's like

1:31:54

we have to tax billionaires and all this stuff

1:31:56

and I go why because they got paid their

1:31:58

fair share and I had to explain

1:32:00

her how taxes work and how your money

1:32:03

doesn't go to the government.

1:32:05

Your money goes to pay off the

1:32:07

interest on all this fake money that's

1:32:09

being printed over and over again. And

1:32:11

there's so many people that do not

1:32:13

know that. They don't know it. It

1:32:16

is six families that own

1:32:18

the Federal Reserve. And

1:32:21

you're right, that's where the money goes.

1:32:23

Now, that women's movement,

1:32:26

and Bill Clinton was

1:32:28

by far, this is

1:32:30

not opinion. I never do opinion. It's

1:32:32

a fact. He was by far the

1:32:35

worst president in the history of

1:32:37

the United States. George

1:32:40

Bush was the second worst

1:32:42

because he destroyed Iraq illegally

1:32:44

as a war criminal when everyone knew

1:32:46

there were no weapons of mass discretion.

1:32:49

But Bill Clinton signed

1:32:52

the Communications Act in 1992.

1:32:54

Listen, when John Kennedy

1:32:59

was alive, there were 1,500 different

1:33:01

owners of the media. Now

1:33:04

there are only six major companies. Then

1:33:07

the other thing he did is he

1:33:09

signed NAFTA because the Vietnam War

1:33:11

was stopped by middle

1:33:13

class and upper middle class families

1:33:15

not wanting to see their sons

1:33:18

and daughters' bodies coming home in

1:33:20

body bags. So there was going

1:33:22

to be no more draft. So how do you get

1:33:24

an army? You get an

1:33:26

army by not giving them jobs

1:33:28

when they get out of school.

1:33:31

And you make sure they

1:33:34

take a job because they

1:33:36

can't get jobs anymore. So

1:33:38

they have to join the military. I

1:33:41

know three honor students at UNLV have

1:33:43

to join the army to get anything.

1:33:46

Anyway, so he signs NAFTA,

1:33:48

sends the jobs overseas.

1:33:51

Do you remember

1:33:53

something called Glass-Steagall? Tell

1:33:58

the audience what Glass-Steagall is. want

1:34:00

to do all the talking. Isn't

1:34:02

Glass-Steagall, is that where it separated

1:34:04

the financial the

1:34:07

financial wing

1:34:10

of the bank from the investment

1:34:13

into the personal savings? Commercial

1:34:15

investing. Yeah. Yes. And that

1:34:17

was signed by

1:34:19

during the Depression in America in the

1:34:21

30s by Franklin

1:34:23

Roosevelt and his socialist

1:34:25

vice president, as was

1:34:29

Social Security introduced, Workman's Compensation

1:34:31

introduced, being able to join

1:34:33

a union was introduced. All

1:34:36

socialists, for Christ's sake, and

1:34:39

the same with child labor, eight

1:34:41

hours a day. That was all

1:34:43

socialists signed by FDR. And,

1:34:47

and, and Bill Clinton killed

1:34:51

that. Yeah. And, and that

1:34:53

created a 2008 recession, and

1:34:56

I lost a million dollar home on a

1:34:59

golf course. And millions of

1:35:01

other people lost the same

1:35:03

because but I must tell you

1:35:05

this, if you go to

1:35:07

my website, I have

1:35:10

a hilarious piece called the

1:35:12

10 and a half worst presidents

1:35:15

in American history. And

1:35:17

of course, the first is the worst is, is

1:35:20

Bill Clinton, the next is

1:35:22

George Bush. I couldn't fit Trump in.

1:35:26

Would you believe that Abe

1:35:28

Lincoln was one of the worst.

1:35:31

Yeah. Okay. What about Woodrow Wilson?

1:35:33

There's a real battle between who

1:35:36

is the worst president of all

1:35:38

time Woodrow Wilson, Bill Clinton. It's

1:35:40

Bill Clinton. There is no battle

1:35:42

between that. What does

1:35:45

Obama stand? Huh? I

1:35:47

think Obama's bad. But I think

1:35:49

he's in the middle because he

1:35:51

sent drones to kill teenagers in

1:35:54

North Africa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

1:35:57

anyway, that's why I don't like to get in

1:35:59

the Politics. That's why

1:36:01

I'm thrilled. Be on Sam

1:36:03

show. Could we could tell

1:36:05

stories about the mark of

1:36:07

Frank Sinatra? Real people that

1:36:09

lifted our spirits, not politicians

1:36:11

who destroy our hopes. Is.

1:36:14

Nothing worse than having your. Hope.

1:36:16

Destroyed Anyway, I'm

1:36:19

not quite sure. our plate. everybody

1:36:21

asks me of them ninety one

1:36:23

years of age. And.

1:36:25

Everybody Ass maggot. thousands request John:

1:36:27

How do you live to be

1:36:29

Ninety one? I'd. Give them

1:36:31

a two word answer of the wanna use as

1:36:34

sent me when I tell. Him of guy.

1:36:36

Palm. Tree.

1:36:39

Ten. Water. Not

1:36:41

and are you at How health. Known.

1:36:44

As one word: Healthy. Eat.

1:36:46

Drink water, Stay healthy. Say

1:36:48

accidents? I don't. I don't

1:36:50

that don't Guy: Day boys

1:36:52

guy. maybe go k some

1:36:55

of that rights john and

1:36:57

like it and you know.

1:36:59

I. Have discovered over the years

1:37:01

that Nature. Is only interested

1:37:03

in three things: Only. That.

1:37:07

Is beating fighting and

1:37:09

in fornicating? And.

1:37:12

Humans are designed to fight and seed

1:37:14

in order to form a. While.

1:37:17

At my age, just concentrate on

1:37:19

the baby bar with assessed that

1:37:22

separates anyway. Thank. You

1:37:24

thank you all so much. For.

1:37:26

Having me and at unfortunately

1:37:28

I take it to Hollywood

1:37:31

Digits of the comedy store

1:37:33

that my son. Is.

1:37:35

The coexisted a producer

1:37:37

Criminal Minds. Oh. Yeah.

1:37:40

last guys he loves comedy because

1:37:42

of his father and i will

1:37:44

get him over to the comedy

1:37:46

store to watch you have any

1:37:48

time job we always loved our

1:37:50

view on thank you so much

1:37:52

and are we appreciate you go

1:37:54

to john barbers world.com and let's

1:37:56

break it down ah john is

1:37:58

one hundred percent National treasure man.

1:38:01

That was a great conversation and we appreciate

1:38:03

John giving us an hour of his time

1:38:06

You know, it was it was a fun conversation.

1:38:08

I'm very blessed. Yeah an hour means a lot

1:38:10

when you're what is it? 91

1:38:12

years old Wow Some

1:38:16

people just know there's a better way to do things like

1:38:19

bundling your home and auto insurance with all

1:38:21

states or Going to

1:38:23

the grocery store for milk instead of buying your own cow

1:38:27

You know, there's an easier and better

1:38:29

way save up to 25% when you

1:38:32

run the home and auto with Austin

1:38:35

Bundle savings vary by state and are not available in every state

1:38:37

saving up to 25% It's the countrywide average

1:38:40

of the maximum available savings off the home policy all

1:38:42

state vehicle and property insurance company and affiliates Northbrook, Illinois

1:38:45

Johnny you all lived in 91. That's a lot would

1:38:47

love to you don't think John Barbara's having a great

1:38:49

time. Look at him He's happy easy Okay,

1:38:52

have more fun 9th Okay, you

1:38:54

want to do 91? I mean

1:38:56

if our life I would love to live his

1:38:58

91 I've seen some people

1:39:00

other people's 91 where I'm like, there's no way I

1:39:02

want to live If it's

1:39:05

a good 91 and you have money

1:39:07

left over some people run out of cash

1:39:09

living in Vegas Come on. He's having a

1:39:11

great time. You want to live in Vegas

1:39:13

so badly. I like that again again I

1:39:17

love John Barbara and it's so funny this the

1:39:19

stories Just like I can

1:39:21

relate to them so much how you

1:39:24

just run into these industry faggots who

1:39:26

fucking make your life miserable Try to

1:39:28

cuckold you. Yeah, dude. How crazy

1:39:30

was crazy. Hey, dude, let me bang your

1:39:32

wife. No, okay You lost your shelf. All

1:39:34

right, what are we doing here? And that's

1:39:36

the shit that still goes on Yeah,

1:39:39

but now it's like let me bang your hole, dude Right

1:39:42

P. Did he went hoggin with

1:39:44

meek mill? May I give you like

1:39:46

to blow up anyone you look at meek mill you're like, oh,

1:39:49

let me get in that Let me get

1:39:51

in that black job of the hood ass

1:39:53

sounds like job of the hot neck Yeah,

1:39:55

that sounds right if you could pick why

1:39:57

would you ever pick McMill? Yeah, you're picking

1:39:59

who's holding Yeah, well I think at a

1:40:01

certain point man. It's not about anything to

1:40:03

do with sexual attraction It's just power plays

1:40:05

it right get to a certain why you

1:40:07

have power play meek Mill's fat ass like

1:40:10

imagine Imagine you're Justin Bieber. I mean like

1:40:12

what you went from me to that yeah

1:40:15

I mean I

1:40:19

Mean dude, that's why he's so fucked up you

1:40:21

think yeah, and then everyone loves his like dad

1:40:23

He's like his dad's a great manager his dad

1:40:25

literally let his kid get diddled a pen Yeah,

1:40:28

I mean get the fuck out of here, dude Get

1:40:31

the fuck out of here You know if

1:40:34

your kids had an interest in showbiz would you

1:40:36

know never happening dude? I've

1:40:38

already expressed it to the mother it's

1:40:40

never happening after 18. I can't control them They

1:40:42

could do whatever they want well after 18 to

1:40:44

their adult Yeah, that's exactly what my mom would

1:40:46

take because my sister everybody tell my sister. Oh,

1:40:48

she's so pretty She should be a model my

1:40:50

mom like when she's 18. She can go

1:40:53

be about on her own time I'm not

1:40:55

gonna be liable for whatever happened to my daughter under

1:40:57

the age I feel dude, and

1:40:59

I was like well ever happening my

1:41:01

daughter's gonna be a comic I can already tell

1:41:03

she loves to put on shows She

1:41:06

loves it. She's gonna be a comic Not

1:41:09

and she's not I'm not gonna allow anything

1:41:11

to happen She'd go do shows like if

1:41:13

she wants to tell her Tomlinson it and

1:41:15

do shows when she's 13 years

1:41:17

old let her go I don't

1:41:19

care, but I'm gonna be there, and then

1:41:21

we're gonna get in the car. We're gonna go to fuck

1:41:23

home Too many predators

1:41:26

She's just never going on auditions until she's 18.

1:41:28

It was crazy I think you know as a

1:41:31

parent you kind of know like we talked about

1:41:33

like Drake bells Drake bells dad knew You

1:41:35

got these vibes that these guys here for something, but you

1:41:37

try to avoid it because you're like it's part of the

1:41:39

industry They're around guys

1:41:42

like this around thinking that yeah

1:41:45

Yeah, I mean it's just like it's just

1:41:48

weird dude, and you just you know that

1:41:50

fat fuck is like got some kind of

1:41:52

lawsuit now for defamation right some people are

1:41:55

just Unself-aware, but

1:41:57

I mean it's like well. You know we'll get into it on broken

1:42:01

sim but you know I'm

1:42:04

sorry dude like you

1:42:07

are just opening up a

1:42:10

wasps nest of chaos

1:42:12

oh yeah and we're gonna find

1:42:14

out if that you if

1:42:16

Jamie Lynn's kid who is brunette

1:42:19

right oh okay yeah comes

1:42:22

out to be yours because when they said

1:42:24

it was the kids dad I think I

1:42:26

remember he's blonde the guy

1:42:29

that they said was the dad but

1:42:32

I mean okay not and just

1:42:34

plain devil's advocate if that if he did

1:42:36

if he does have things with Jamie Lee

1:42:38

Jamie Lee Spears why would he be pursuing

1:42:40

lawsuits wouldn't he want to just stay under

1:42:42

yeah that's what we're saying you're a

1:42:44

retard for doing it oh you so

1:42:46

you think he's that he does you

1:42:48

think he's that much like I'm sure

1:42:50

he can't go anywhere right now he

1:42:52

can't go anywhere without people not wanting to talk

1:42:55

to him I can't imagine him going to Starbucks

1:42:57

in order like a lot and no one yelling

1:42:59

at him yeah I mean it's done but

1:43:02

yeah great episode I hope you guys

1:43:04

enjoyed it both the breakdown of the

1:43:06

roast and the

1:43:09

talk with John Barber about

1:43:11

his roast and what he was doing and you

1:43:13

realize what he did there was

1:43:15

the equivalent of what Tony Hinchliffe did on that

1:43:18

one guys go to Sam tibley

1:43:20

comm check out all the premium

1:43:22

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1:43:24

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1:43:27

personally on Sam tibley comm I'm

1:43:29

putting up multiple episodes a month

1:43:32

okay I mean a week it's only eight

1:43:34

dollars but let's say you want to get

1:43:36

all the content on rock when you still

1:43:38

play 15 there but you can get eight

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1:43:42

go to um then

1:43:45

we go to our cash daddy people

1:43:47

are signing up cuz Johnny how's how

1:43:49

we doing oh he's absolutely on a

1:43:51

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he's crushing 633 members

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a month over 12 months We will watch you

1:44:09

have intercourse 12 times. I know we'll actually willing

1:44:11

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