Episode from the podcastTo Be Honest I Feel You

Exile - Taylor Swift | You’re Just Not Hearing Me

Released Monday, 12th October 2020
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To Be Honest I Feel You welcomes you to Season 1 of the show, Headaches & Heartbreaks.

It goes without saying, but, the world looks different now. So, Mcaiiah seeks to embrace the heaviness we're all feeling and introduces a season that is centered around tough times that we all go through in life and relationships.

On Episode 1, Mcaiiah unpacks the song, Exile by Taylor Swift ft Bon Iver.

I. The Intro

The song is about two lovers who are clearly no longer together and they’re looking back at their relationship, in ruin. 

It's written to sound like a confrontation, an argument, really, between the two...and it becomes clear, very early on, that this was not an amicable breakup. There is so much hurt, anger and unresolved feelings between these two and you can feel it in every line.

II. The Walkthrough

The song begins with his perspective, where he shares how shocked he was by this breakup and how discarded he feels that she would just throw it all away, so suddenly.

We then get to hear her perspective, during which, she shares that this breakup has been a long time coming. After giving him several chances to make things right, she finally had enough.

After hearing both sides of the story, we end up at the chorus, during which, both his and her sides collide. Far from a duet, both he and she are singing at the same time, but they're singing two completely different songs.

Each line contradicts the other and it becomes clear that both parties are simply fighting to be heard, yet refusing to listen.

III. The Application

After walking through the lyrics, it's clear that this relationship looks a lot like most of ours... This couple looks a lot like us.

We often get consumed with our own desires, our own issues, our needs, that we fight only to be heard but refuse to listen to those we love.

Mcaiiah poses a few hard hitting questions:

  • What would this story look like, had they noticed the signs? What would this story look like, had they learned to listen?
  • What would the outcome be, had they learned how to communicate with one another?


Bringing things closer to home, Mcaiiah poses a few more pointed questions:

  • In your relationships, what signs did you miss?
  • Did you make enough room for your partner to be honest with you?
  • Were you only concerned with getting your needs met?


IV. The Takeaway

Often times we enter into relationships carrying all the baggage from the last failed one... or maybe we're carrying our own trauma..

But Mcaiiah urges us to ask ourselves, are my hands full?

Examine your relationships and determine whether you've created enough space for the ones you love, or are you too consumed by everything else.

Often times, the issues at the surface are coming from a much deeper wound and until we take the time to intentionally address those issues, our lives and relationships will continue to suffer.

There's no shame in needing help. There are resources available and Mcaiiah urges us to tap into whatever resources we have and allow someone we trust to help us navigate through our problems, to make room for those we love.

If we all take time to do this, as individuals, our lives and our relationships can only benefit from it.

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