If you struggle with being a people pleaser or if you feel a need to be liked by many people, it's probably because you've been taught or led to believe that 1. good people are well liked by many and that 2. you therefore need to do and say things to be liked (even if it means compromising yourself and never saying "no"). I fell into that trap before and thought that I had to be well liked in order to validate that I was a good person. The thing is, you don't have to be bound by that frame of mind - it's actually really unstable, unreliable, and unhealthy to base your sense of worth on the opinions of others.

Not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to agree with you. As much as you try to be nice and try not to offend others, there's always going to be someone who takes offense and someone who has a problem with you. That is just how the world is because every point of communication is susceptible to misinterpretation and distortion. No one can ever truly know or understand what you're thinking, even if you're able to communicate eloquently.

That's why explaining and defending yourself is a fruitless desire. It's certainly a good thing to be able to communicate your stance clearly and concisely, but trying to convince others to change their minds and opinions of you is almost always a waste of time. The people who actually want to understand you will listen. The people who don't care or hold firm to a belief will never be swayed by logic or reason.

And so, the more you speak up and give yourself permission to be who you truly are, the more feathers that will be ruffled and the more opposition you'll find. BUT, that's actually a good thing! When you are unapologetically you and truly authentic, you'll attract others who are also like you and eventually you'll be able to find your "tribe". There is some worth in being sensitive and considerate in your speech, but you shouldn't compromise your beliefs and convictions to fit the mold that others want you to be.

So just be you. Don't mind what the scoffers say and don't worry about others' opinions of you. After all, it's much better to have a small group of really close friends than to have many lukewarm or unauthentic acquaintanceships.