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more and subscribe Now Tf Time machine.com/iron

1:01

Filings Here We. Go. Here we go. Here,

1:03

We go here We go. Places. Said.

1:07

This. Is top like time machine. I am Monday

1:10

Hot Body Dawson Pow Pow pow. I'm Sanity

1:12

Delaney So well. Will come along. If

1:14

you will, To. The much just

1:16

Odyssey. Scuse me

1:19

Each claiming throw their I have in

1:21

my left on. The. Eleventh

1:23

of August: Nineteen Eighty Four issue.

1:26

Of roof the Rover's. It

1:30

tells us who the sign please. Victim

1:33

is funny. A Siege a sweetheart.

1:35

It's a Do you say? it's

1:38

like site is a beauty is

1:40

a farce. Aliens. Yes,

1:42

but also new? Yeah, yes, we're

1:44

also for. One

1:46

of the first in tic of

1:48

continental flight isn't really the top.

1:50

I was so delighted to have

1:52

been reminded the other day yes,

1:54

Burleson because it was big wrong

1:56

and he was posing with three

1:59

new signings. One with us burrow

2:01

said. I think one my been

2:03

struck and and one was out a result

2:05

right and we so bad and Brazil last

2:07

week saw him for majesty noise and it

2:09

was also in that we didn't quite have

2:11

a memory of a found out he decides

2:13

to them it seems. Preposterous.

2:15

To me the a sign for them. In

2:18

about nineteen eighty Three of my money for

2:20

the same size as yeah, Strap him. And.

2:24

Yeah are also. Seems.

2:26

To be big runs. Tells us

2:28

the the title vi Vi which and

2:30

the time it would see. The

2:34

results on is happy to see

2:36

saw from and as long as

2:38

a side rights are also really

2:41

excited of it is a distinct

2:43

enjoying life for that was a

2:46

piece it reached ninety six is

2:48

people were aware of things that

2:50

will suddenly become an efficient with

2:53

diabetes and Brazil is well established

2:55

European goal scorer with it's it's.

2:58

Town. What? Exactly

3:01

would have looked as it was this

3:03

season when the. Cement.

3:05

Blocks and bonuses and legumes assuming of

3:07

look like them were gonna. Finally,

3:10

When the late the men's underwear

3:12

on up and and it fell

3:14

apart. Yeah and then Rondo Sigma

3:16

the season the socks and then

3:18

it was born Ferguson and have

3:20

used to work out a cigarette

3:22

were. Also came from Iraq's.

3:25

Sunni muslims got we. Are

3:28

found it difficult because or Mendis lakeside

3:30

yes for also that matches your noise,

3:32

produces some records out of power by

3:35

and he is a winner. So he

3:37

had all sorts of fanciful foreign trips

3:39

up is slated met. With

3:42

his team's insists as parents from which to

3:44

separate. but then I guess your. Opponent

3:47

Notes: Decent, decent

3:49

sinus agency and he replaced and

3:51

of. Moments estimates

3:53

from Ipswich and yeah, really. Worked.

3:56

Out for them. He I

3:58

was the eighty five, eighty sixes. The only one. The first

4:01

ten. Lately I thousand and when. We

4:03

went away and let the I United Advocate

4:05

soulful fix. In the end, He

4:08

has to so forth. So

4:13

yeah and also in this or through

4:15

the picture some for didn't send or

4:17

receive holding up a copy of Road

4:19

the Ruler of the lights on right

4:21

lads was also not so. Now my.

4:24

Farewell to find out of a

4:26

A Be Roads first novel of

4:28

Zelda listeners He he has maintained

4:30

a low profile since his retirement

4:32

the and now lives in Victoria.

4:34

Well, we'll we'll I suspect somebody

4:37

so harshly. Withdraw. From

4:39

publicise the king of the of course

4:41

the vivid parties whose could pretty funny

4:43

css americanized or is. Good

4:47

for him. In two thousand and

4:49

three Olson funded and commenced of

4:51

racing the phone football group in

4:53

Australia. No mention of what bodies

4:56

were. it sounds like fun. The

5:01

Full Support Group a coupon for for Full Stop

5:03

How to Be in two thousand and eleven. And

5:07

replaced and involved and not so

5:09

nice. Is ticking

5:11

off focus focus is a fake

5:13

mice one super strength or it's

5:16

a nice if I'm being copied

5:18

than Vox Pop and how this

5:20

seems like good place to illustrate

5:23

is divisive. Yeah, my bf directly

5:25

out that. Australia.

5:27

In the winter months and said

5:29

that market the summer months probably

5:32

yeah this this this ago myth

5:34

presume to echo Hurry Flows or

5:36

Young Women Australia and he to

5:38

immigrate than they're both six of

5:40

musical ons he was working in

5:42

London sees work for Hire Car

5:44

company and diverse as. Sick.

5:47

Of Everything Death and he hooked

5:49

up with a former all Slim

5:51

and the got together and move

5:53

to Australia. Measures go have fun

5:55

Delivery thing the self employed. Fund.

5:57

the louis school friends with his dog in

5:59

the passenger seat and he delivers stuff in

6:01

the fucking lovely weather. He's

6:04

living the just rest life.

6:06

I know a few people

6:08

who've moved to Australia. I've got

6:10

a cousin, pretty close to she moved

6:12

there a couple of years ago. She

6:15

married an Australian guy and they've been

6:17

living in London, a couple of kids

6:19

and it's a struggle living in London,

6:22

especially now. And he just

6:24

was like, he was from Australia, he's

6:26

from Melbourne. And he was

6:28

like, let's not say we could be

6:30

doing the same sort of work but

6:32

over there, you know, bigger out from fucking

6:34

swimming pool and our kids could be playing

6:36

on the beach and stuff, you know. So

6:39

they went there.

6:42

Chris Joe Connell's major in a great book

6:45

about his move to, well

6:48

it's a book about various things, sort of mental

6:50

health but really bad. A lot

6:52

of it focuses on his move to Melbourne. I might

6:55

have talked about, like

6:57

one of my favourite bits in the book is

6:59

he's struggling to make friends and

7:01

he's writing about how it's harder for a

7:03

bloke to make friends than a

7:06

woman, right? And he said that like they

7:08

brought their dog over all

7:11

the way over, right, with them. And

7:14

he's what an immediate

7:16

circle of mates just by being down apart

7:19

walking the dog, which is something I've noticed

7:21

since I've had a dog is you do

7:23

get chatting to a lot of people and

7:25

it's like opens up a whole new circle.

7:27

But it felt easier for that. And he

7:29

was like working every day doing his radio

7:31

show and he didn't have, you

7:33

know, he was struggling to have any mates to hang out

7:35

with. And his wife became

7:38

quite sort of overly encouraging and was

7:40

trying to set up play dates for

7:42

him with her new mates husbands and

7:44

it was like pissing him off. But

7:46

he said to her, he did meet one

7:48

guy who was

7:50

an Uber driver. Every time he called no Uber

7:53

it seemed like the same driver came, right?

7:55

So he started having quite good chats with the

7:57

driver like, oh, I just moved in to see

7:59

him. what's good and all of that and

8:01

they got on quite well. And he mentioned, he said, I

8:03

have been getting on quite well with the Uber driver. And

8:06

she went, well, that's nice. Like that,

8:08

well, why don't you? And he went, no, no,

8:10

come on, like, it's just an Uber driver, Jack.

8:12

It's not like, you can't take it beyond the

8:14

Uber. You can't make it a slow, short thing.

8:17

And she went, I don't see why not. She

8:19

was doing all that stuff, you know. And

8:22

then one day they got an Uber,

8:24

and sure enough it was him, matey

8:26

boy. Right. And all the chatting

8:28

went, and I was like, oh, good to see you. And then,

8:30

so I'm going to chat, and he's going, oh, you know, you

8:32

can meet my wife, blah, blah, blah. And

8:35

it's going really well. When they go out in

8:37

the cab, the wife,

8:39

Chris Sherkall's wife is going through, asking,

8:42

asking, doing all that. And he's going,

8:44

shut up. Like, okay, go on,

8:46

ask him. So in the end

8:48

he goes, she pressured him

8:50

into it. And he went, hey,

8:54

mate, and

8:56

say, if you're not

8:58

too busy, you're going to be getting

9:00

a pizza sometime. In

9:05

the moment, he doesn't know why he said,

9:07

get a pizza. Right. And you

9:09

say, we could get pizza or something. Right. And

9:12

he said, that was almost, there was something

9:14

strangely creepy that you can't quite put your

9:16

finger on, saying to another man, let's get

9:19

a pizza sometime. Not a beer,

9:21

not even a coffee. Yeah,

9:23

a pizza. A pizza. A

9:26

whole pizza. Very, very specific. Let's

9:29

get a pizza. And

9:31

the bloke was just weirded out.

9:34

And I think Chris Sherkall handed him a small piece

9:37

of paper with his phone number on it. And

9:39

he never saw him again. Yeah.

9:43

So that's the only problem there. He

9:46

should have booked the Uber. And

9:49

then, if it was going to be that day, when he

9:51

could see who it was going to be, just

9:53

changed the location to just where you were and

9:56

then just sit in the car and just have

9:58

a chat with the meat running. I

10:00

suppose. Do you

10:02

know what I call that? A

10:04

chat prostitute. Yeah,

10:07

exactly. A chat, a chat-stitute. And

10:12

then you try and go to the

10:14

pizza level and he's like, no, no,

10:16

sorry sir, this is purely a business.

10:18

No, that's the full girlfriend experience of

10:20

you on Avopete. It does much more

10:22

money. No, don't do that. And I

10:24

wouldn't tell Uber, who are effectively my

10:26

pimps, we'd have to do that off

10:28

the books. And it would cost you

10:30

a lot of money. $750

10:32

for the minimum. It's

10:35

a bit like, you know, year of

10:37

these pop stars or film stars, don't

10:39

you? But like huge sums will provide

10:42

an escort service to

10:44

a, you know,

10:46

to like perhaps an Arab shape. Yeah.

10:51

Yeah,

10:53

I do, you hear about that. You can hear about that,

10:55

it's like, and that's the same

10:57

with Uber drivers. They will do it, but

10:59

they want it off the books. They don't

11:01

want Uber knowing it's against Uber policy, but

11:03

they will meet with you socially, but you

11:06

have to be like putting huge sums probably

11:08

of cash on the table. If

11:10

you want them to actually leave the car and

11:12

sit with you in a restaurant or a coffee

11:14

shop, like a Costa coffee and

11:16

have a latte with you. It's complicated, isn't it?

11:20

Yeah. You can misread the signals, can't you? Yeah, I think that's what I'm

11:22

doing. I'll show you, Mike,

11:24

the West End podcast that I listened to

11:26

and I'm sort of like, you know, in

11:28

partnership with, they've

11:30

gone out, they've run half way through

11:33

Patreon, like, in fact, more

11:35

than, I was going to say like us, but more than us, they

11:37

do it, it's like 100%

11:39

on Patreon. And they, Westam

11:41

are on tour in Australia at the moment. In

11:43

fact, as we speak, as

11:46

we speak, we are in Perth, Westam

11:48

are playing Tottenham and a tune it

11:50

up, which is very exciting.

11:52

I would have been watching it, but

11:54

the club, the club Sent

11:56

an exclusive link through, said, hi,

11:59

Sam, congratulations. What members agency?

12:01

oh that's here's your exclusively

12:03

to watch Live stream of

12:05

all time is passed the

12:07

smallest against London rivals top

12:09

malls novel salles nice accommodate

12:11

Yes five pound com. Ha

12:14

ha ha ha ha. Ha!

12:17

As I was yes, five pounds and I

12:19

john, what's your on a movie made with

12:21

I said shut down the no. No.

12:24

Yes, we've grown up around the movie

12:26

they said again and I'm in the

12:28

door and you're paying off the fiber

12:30

to what she's talking. Friendly Trump. Older.

12:33

Boy Thousand Nine by The Solomon

12:35

and calibrated. Here.

12:38

And the ghost of the Recoup

12:40

vs associates of my cousins weeks.

12:42

And to be when. The.

12:45

Same. The David Moyes

12:47

would be struggling to keep his

12:49

job to thrive on the edge

12:51

last season, right right on the

12:53

age and pretty much much less

12:56

than pointed out of. like the

12:58

a skullcap and that when it

13:00

is like it's been before the

13:02

they already species said two successes

13:04

and stuff like that. They.

13:07

Both passed away. With.

13:09

Her family sat of the three

13:11

kinds of the three Amigos you.

13:14

Affecting the runway and he

13:16

was five miles. Popular advisable,

13:19

To. Eat was like a nice. Is

13:21

often I sold my soul them

13:23

for me. He has not made

13:25

a huge sum of money from

13:27

pornography path to pornographer. As

13:30

me one of the yes I while I mean

13:32

I. Thought pornography is a

13:34

legitimate business. Today it is as

13:37

ugly as one who has a

13:39

rock hard because and he dies.

13:42

And. My cousin is again

13:44

when these things that might have

13:46

signs. David. Moyes.

13:50

Life. Is now. I'm

13:53

what's ironic. Is that his

13:56

biggest supporter on the ball? with.

13:58

That money. The

14:00

moink Pythons you So I decided to

14:02

pursue what I see we like to

14:04

us are tackling. The

14:07

I'll tell you this right moink

14:09

fries and seventeen the primary strike.

14:11

Survive off easy stop more. Goes.

14:14

On the southern India resisted Premier

14:16

league manager annual I when he

14:18

to cease to be cautious or

14:21

negativity census says he i ah

14:23

that's one sale hit on survivor

14:25

or that survive not I said

14:28

chances might be proud that know

14:30

suffice had a voice on that

14:32

for ah. He.

14:35

Says you know yet? This has also

14:37

been detained because. Previous. Night

14:40

he wasn't as as as

14:42

keys away from game before

14:44

they go right right? I.

14:47

Saw Coffee Garen say when that

14:49

nice house during Moises Us who

14:51

were not voices would have been

14:53

yeah be. Mad.

14:59

About beer. think all day. It

15:01

was like Ghana. Yes, I'm

15:04

bad. At my

15:06

address bar. Or.

15:10

You. Say you sacrifice yourself to

15:13

fight. See has come across.

15:15

As. Far

15:17

as obvious, As

15:23

he will hire. Women: Get back

15:25

to her by the Smiths. Jesus this kid

15:27

in this room with rooms thing. From

15:31

Pets. See every episode with

15:33

the sixty minutes of the stuff

15:35

and then the Road rules. Ah.

15:38

Yeah. I was still in the

15:40

success I thought but it'll status him from from his last

15:42

week. One was knocked him of

15:44

this process with. Risk

15:46

player monitor Must rooms finally convinced cough

15:48

it's is brilliant but since a call

15:50

when the com wasn't responsible for an

15:53

incident which it almost respiratory in front

15:55

of the flair sconces limitless on the

15:57

son. Who. Turned up. To.

15:59

Me: Mans call him last week on his

16:01

prot says. Ah A

16:04

now in the final of the six aside tournament

16:06

with Mochas to winning two nil. This

16:08

is the eleventh of August this is going out

16:10

with this containment still on. The. Seasons

16:12

about have begun. House Teeth.

16:16

Call him to his slaloming through some

16:18

mochas the players one of whom is

16:21

plucky grip. On

16:23

fun shouts also

16:25

The Hunter. In.

16:27

Inverted Commas Got it gets

16:30

regain? Playing with

16:32

the Ruthless Tell us that made

16:34

the prisoners see it plays. Group.

16:37

says. Another. For.

16:40

Know. So fast he comes. Roy said.

16:42

Fuck him. To a ball of

16:44

him. Hunt

16:47

for the ground foods. We.

16:50

Push got to it comes to

16:53

shove we soon as popular as

16:55

they're gonna do some of that

16:57

since I mean says suing for

16:59

golly somewhere of see services season

17:02

So yes it is made with.

17:05

Such as people with seizures are

17:07

just gonna get them here. It's

17:10

N N N N N Spear

17:12

Events and an S. And

17:14

then an exclamation mark. On top of

17:16

most of us are the. Author's

17:21

We Know kind of crossover with The National

17:24

Front. The seventy and their

17:26

of our national national national national

17:28

from my by the way and

17:30

I always friend is all about

17:32

the were even lot of the

17:35

men have the new even matches

17:37

so both sides five. Success.

17:41

To put in price underneath and small.

17:43

Not affiliated with an awesome front not

17:45

raising with. So

17:49

yeah, But road

17:51

race in front of him. He.

17:54

Don't really think of Roy has been

17:57

a a bowl winner. Dear tackler. Not.

17:59

Seem them. What should we believe? it was

18:01

a long as I'm a big noise

18:03

as you days I'm not get my

18:05

hands that.com crash I forgot the country

18:07

bumpkin the pay for. ah yeah. I'm.

18:10

Fine plan to I am when it

18:12

was as if I'm stronger and farther

18:14

than anyone else so if I asked

18:16

the man to with divisive as the

18:18

me see our I Will on the

18:20

seasonal said. as a

18:22

six sizes as more school from have

18:25

to do that. Even

18:27

as the funds were applauding, royals was tough

18:30

to. Do believe

18:32

it has suffered. And

18:34

hoods from. He said

18:36

on his ass on the has

18:38

six I caught on. He has

18:40

stolen the ball from Roy and

18:42

at the same time. A

18:45

shot at a school. Facilities

18:47

are gonna. Look.

18:49

At thus. Can. Always despised

18:52

insightful com saw. Yes

18:54

is a fucking mess of the goal to

18:56

be honest. Hunt

18:58

as just completely don't roy in the

19:00

same with rules Don't image is just

19:03

trump the. Boss's

19:08

Boss the noisy made as he said

19:10

he. Could

19:12

nice. I do believe in Hudson recovered

19:14

and managed to get it a shot.

19:17

It's Charlie taught in I was sick.

19:19

I'm going to get says. A.

19:27

Yeah. Neither. Have

19:29

summoned for censor there.

19:31

Are things that have some

19:33

see to school Race. Or with

19:36

I wouldn't buy though. It's like. Sorry.

19:41

Of I buy it. For

19:44

the bomb or Superman.i will say

19:46

this. I'm not saying that you

19:49

know your you see some Breitbart.

19:51

You're the man. Who. Swore no

19:53

one would ever by a local. not as

19:55

he sat and the. And

19:58

is at all. true

20:00

but what does that say about our

20:02

listeners rather than my judgement? well it

20:04

means you don't judge them properly yeah

20:08

I would judge them higher than I should the

20:13

amount of people who turn up at our live

20:15

shows for a local novelty just with massive smiles

20:17

on their faces never

20:20

ceases to amaze me well

20:22

is that the only time they wear them though? I don't

20:24

know, I'd love to think they just walk in the streets of

20:28

their local neighbours it's

20:32

safer than with a local hardman t-shirt, that's just going

20:34

to attract attention yeah it's an

20:36

absolute challenge isn't it? yeah, anyway

20:39

back to this, Melchester 2, Carford 1 sorry

20:43

Roy, says Charlie Carter forget

20:46

it Charlie, there aren't many players in the world who

20:48

could score a goal like that think

20:51

of this Sis, it's your fault for bringing

20:53

him back to life Roy bringing

20:57

him back to life like a revived bee which

21:00

is essentially what happened the video

21:02

he showed him with the introduction of Les Anderson was

21:04

sugar water to the dying bee that

21:06

was Carford that's

21:09

your sugar water, you're a

21:11

fucking dying bee and remember,

21:14

just as I have given you sugar water, I

21:16

can starve your bit too you can take it

21:19

away again I will stamp on

21:21

you you just stung me

21:24

and you know what happens to a bee

21:26

once it has stung someone it

21:29

pulls itself up through its own arsehole

21:31

and dies and

21:34

disappears, literally

21:36

disappears up its own arse his old

21:39

body is vacuumed into its own sphincter

21:43

as the game wore on, Rovers

21:46

are trying everything but Hunt's dominating

21:48

midfield he's like a

21:50

human barrier that's

21:55

a really shit lazy man for isn't

21:57

it they Mustn't be able

21:59

to figure it out. The bell? Wow. Jalapeno.

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23:06

Valentine's Rushes here. Jalapeno.

23:09

Oh my look we get closer with

23:11

these goons in the next from the

23:14

corporate funds have mixed feelings about calls

23:16

performs look at the is one of

23:18

them There as a slight. To.

23:20

The middle of the don't have been a million dollars

23:22

of the movies. And shops

23:25

not as they are the one in a

23:27

major with the ginger and it's like route

23:29

map out of happy does this is yeah.

23:32

This is all manner of and seventies

23:34

and eighties has been going on there

23:36

in expressions and this or a Motley

23:39

Crue. Conference

23:41

have mixed feelings. this could be his last

23:43

game for us. Smells just are already made

23:45

the pro team. Loses

23:48

Roy race was seen but

23:50

now. the flu shots

23:52

cause go it so we're dead

23:54

shut off insults i saw programs

23:57

and are often and for upset

24:01

focus on the action and

24:04

Karl is going through again and he scores puts

24:07

it through two Melchester defenders pass

24:10

Charlie Carter into the bottom corner

24:12

yes Hunter two Melchester two Andy

24:14

you know how you don't like people talking

24:17

when you're a gig right yeah

24:19

you come how do

24:22

you feel about people talking all the way through the football that's

24:27

alright I'm not listening to the football I'm

24:29

not sure yeah listen to

24:31

their conversation mate well

24:33

yeah it's annoying

24:39

I often just FYI you wait even

24:41

this won't surprise you but I often

24:43

talk all the way through the

24:45

game do you know what's that right yeah

24:48

non-stop well but with you though

24:50

Sam I'm sure it's all interesting to be fair it's largely

24:53

because I'm watching football's quite boring I

24:56

need to get bored and I need

24:59

to talk to people to sort of live and bring

25:01

that you know hmm well

25:04

there is that thing when I was a kid and

25:07

I used to watch football a match of the day pretty

25:09

much because there was never any like football on it was

25:11

great and we started going to watch Sunderland and

25:14

you're nine or whatever you just think fuck

25:16

now this goes on a bit don't it oh it

25:18

feels so long when you first go feels so long

25:21

yeah and you're just like oh when can

25:23

I have some sweets can I get

25:25

some can I get some food pastels at

25:27

half time or something like that yeah you've

25:29

got no you've got no concept that 90

25:31

minutes is as long as it is especially

25:33

if your team's not very good or they're

25:36

losing you know what though I think sometimes

25:38

you go to a game

25:40

in the games incredible I remember going to

25:42

a game I think it was 98 part

25:44

96 when Stan played it was

25:46

someone's one of my mates birthday and it was sort of

25:48

a thing where I had this little group

25:50

of mates when I was at primary school sportage I

25:52

stam and if it was

25:54

anyone's birthday the dad would take us

25:56

right it'd be like a twin obviously

26:01

not my dad, the other dads. And

26:03

it was someone's dad. Oh,

26:06

to some. Very sad. And he might

26:09

have taken us to Tottenham, it would

26:11

have been a disaster. But we went

26:16

to West Ham Manu and Manu,

26:19

maybe it was the tail end of

26:21

the Atkinson area, we were just talking

26:24

about, but it was a very good

26:26

Manchester United team with Brian Robson and

26:28

Norman White side, etc. Paul McGrath, you

26:30

know, big fucking

26:33

serious side. And we

26:35

were one nil down to Brian Robson and we

26:37

came back and we even two run. And I

26:39

kind of remember that as being the first time

26:41

I've been to West Ham lots of times before,

26:43

but it was a bit like how you just

26:45

described, I was like, it's not that bad, it's

26:48

actually the day, you have to watch the boring

26:50

things as well. Right. And you're kind of like,

26:52

you're there and you like being there for other

26:54

reasons. Like you like being amongst the

26:56

atmosphere and all the rest of it. And

26:59

this was the first time I was at a 90

27:01

minute game to be one nil down against the big

27:03

size and then come back and

27:05

get into a very tight wheel, just

27:07

like fucking spellbound from beginning to end.

27:10

Once you get that feeling, going

27:12

to football becomes a bit like, I

27:15

suppose our fishermen think about fishing. Like

27:18

you go there and you're always made for

27:20

big catch. And you might go for a

27:22

whole year and you don't get that big

27:25

catch. But it's always going back because you're

27:27

chasing that drill. And that's what being a

27:29

season ticket holder your club is like, because

27:31

you go and week after week after week,

27:34

you might have to watch really depressing shit.

27:36

Even sometimes you win and it's still fucking

27:38

boring. But then once in

27:40

a while, you're always waiting for that big special one.

27:43

And then once in a while, you're lucky once or

27:45

twice a season, you get it. And it's all

27:47

worthwhile, isn't it? That's

27:49

exactly it. That's why we keep going because we

27:51

said we're chasing that hit. Yeah, you're chasing the

27:53

hit. It's just that, that, that, that hit of

27:56

winning a match. And if you're in a relegation bowl and

27:59

you win a game. it makes it even more sweeter.

28:01

Yeah. You probably even haven't played well then

28:03

you've just ground out a one-nil or whatever.

28:05

Yeah, relegation battles are awesome. We're

28:08

going to be in another one

28:10

next season I'm really looking forward to it.

28:13

Yeah, get stuck in. Well of course when Moyse was at

28:15

Sunderland he said it was a relegation battle in the second

28:17

week of the season. Yeah. Which was a bit,

28:20

a bit presumptive. Moyse will

28:22

be, I think it's on the Westland

28:24

Book of the estate, Moyse will be

28:26

out of West Ham by November, latest.

28:29

You heard that here first, put your money on it

28:31

now, it's a fucking bank. I don't

28:34

have any inside knowledge, this is

28:36

just my own. No. Analysis. Oh

28:40

brilliant. I've done some

28:42

analysis about football. Samnalysis.

28:45

A analysis time for Samnalysis. When

28:47

a new season keeps up I

28:50

want a regular item from Samnalysis

28:53

where I just do, I'll keep it short

28:55

after a ten second bit

28:57

of analysis about something that's

29:00

happening in the football world,

29:02

okay. Maybe just record it separately and put

29:04

it on the IFF. Yeah, I'll write it up maybe.

29:06

Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going

29:08

to write out and I'm going to have one of

29:10

those things where there's a picture of a football pitch

29:12

with dots and lines on it. I'm

29:15

going to do that Andy. Dots

29:17

and lines, dots and lines, dots and

29:19

lines on my football pitch. Can we

29:25

get through this Melchester thing? Yeah. We're not even off with, do

29:27

we? Yeah. Sorry,

29:30

yeah, Hunt's Code. Hunt's Code,

29:33

it's 2-2. But

29:35

one of the Melchester players had no intention of being overshadowed,

29:37

can you guess who it is? Yes, it's Roy Rist. If

29:42

the hunter could do it, so can the king. So

29:45

yeah, Roy's just took the ball. Give

29:47

us the winner, Roy. There, he's

29:50

got the ball and he just fucking blasts it

29:52

out of the goal, but it's saved by the Carford

29:54

keeper. Oh, what a save.

29:56

That's one of the ball boys.

29:58

I think it's a ball boy. It's

30:02

just on his own behind the goal. Best

30:04

of the tournament, hard luck, racey.

30:08

And then the keeper throws it out, up into the other half. Watch

30:11

it, Melchester. That's a great throw to

30:13

Karl Hunt. Take him out, Vick

30:15

Guthrie. But

30:17

Guthrie doesn't because Hunt does

30:19

a delightful little flick. It

30:23

bounces just at one that was thought into

30:25

the delightful flick to the right-hand side. And

30:27

then Vick Guthrie goes, oops! He's

30:32

dropped a teacup or something. A

30:37

delicate, masterful kick has

30:39

left the Melchester Superbrat floundering.

30:43

And Carford score. Fucking

30:45

hell. It's there. 3-2. That

30:48

flash of skill from the Hunter has

30:51

given us the tournament trophy. They

30:53

yell. Then they yell. It

30:56

has. Fucking hell. Melchester have lost.

31:00

Which doesn't always happen. Well, apart from

31:02

that time, Melchester did get relegated. They did get

31:04

relegated, didn't they? And

31:08

the fans are shouting, Carford!

31:10

Carford! Hooray! And

31:14

Roy thinks

31:17

to himself, ah well, you can't win them

31:19

all. Fuck it. Yeah.

31:23

I don't even care. I'm not

31:25

bothered. I'll tell

31:27

you what I'll do. I wasn't going to buy Carford. I'm going

31:30

to buy him now out of space. I'm

31:32

going to buy him and then I'm going

31:34

to fucking venture to come and break his

31:36

spirit. Break his will to fucking live. I'm

31:42

going to buy him and then I'm going to

31:44

deprive him of his sugar water. A

31:49

few days later, some newspaper headlines.

31:51

Rovers Hunt Down Carl and

31:54

the Hunter signed for Melchester. So

31:57

just as we thought, he's becoming

31:59

a Melchester. sister player over

32:03

to the fourth page here

32:06

we have the

32:09

face of Alec Emo the Rovers caretaker

32:12

chairman since he was

32:14

delighted he says to Roy Hunt

32:19

will really boost our European

32:21

Cup winners cup chances right

32:23

what a season it's gonna

32:25

be fuck off fuck

32:27

off Alec you fucking spam-headed freak

32:30

look at the state of you

32:32

you look like a fucking tinner

32:34

spam that's been empty down with

32:36

a fucking syringe on

32:39

it next question you

32:41

silly bitch yeah I call my

32:44

own fucking acting chairman a silly

32:46

bitch it is a

32:48

man and you believe it that's something I've

32:50

been developing for a while I'm testing it

32:52

out on him and if it works I'm

32:55

gonna roll it out I'm

32:57

widening the insult bandwidth I

33:00

like to test them on internal

33:03

figures of a so-called authority triggers

33:06

them in the way that I'm

33:09

hoping I start to use it Poland

33:12

sometimes teammates sometimes family

33:14

members so

33:18

Roy is yeah a more said what season is

33:20

gonna be Roy says off the field as well

33:22

as on it if I'm any judge and

33:25

he says when we announce the name of our new

33:27

chairman it's gonna be headline news a

33:30

more says I still can't believe it's true

33:32

Roy you did a fantastic job he persuaded

33:35

him to join the club close

33:38

up with Roy's face I wanted someone

33:40

with a stature and charisma that a club

33:42

like Melchester deserves a very big

33:44

name in the world of sport whoa someone

33:47

not bigger than

33:49

me yeah someone

33:51

who will probably only put in two days

33:53

a week and not overshadow a we're you

33:55

gonna say it should be hell Well,

34:00

we'll find out, won't we? I reckon

34:02

it's Jimmy Hill. That's who I

34:05

would have got. Feels like it could be.

34:07

Bob Wilson. Oh no, Bob Wilson. Thanks for that, actually, isn't

34:09

he? A year or two. Weird.

34:13

The following day, has Rovers changed for

34:15

a pre-season friendly match against close rivals

34:17

Melbrough of Blackie Grey?

34:19

Roy, this new chairman of ours! Why

34:21

are we going to meet him? This

34:25

is a nice, nice, noisy desk!

34:30

I hope he's dead sick, to be honest. I

34:33

like him when they stick up at me, I don't need

34:36

to think as much. I

34:39

told him to make the old decisions. Roy

34:42

says, so do I, in fact, I've arranged for him

34:44

to put in an appearance today. And as

34:47

they run out for this friendly against Melbrough, as

34:49

a helicopter in the sky, Noel

34:52

Baxter goes, what the? What's

34:55

that? It's not a plane, not a phone.

34:57

It's something else I've never seen before. Oh,

35:00

is there a war? It's

35:03

like the beginning of Mac, when they do

35:05

the song about suicide. I'm

35:08

scared now. Weird

35:11

moments in pop history, when that song, Suicide

35:13

is Painless, got to number one in

35:15

Britain in 1980. So weird. Mad.

35:19

Oh, do you remember that? It used to scare

35:21

me, actually, Mashed, because it would come on late,

35:23

or late for me. What's the time? It

35:26

used to be 9pm BBC2. But

35:28

then, later in the 80s, when they were showing

35:30

reruns of it all the time, did it come

35:32

on later like it? No, it was

35:34

still 9. It might be 9.30, but it was over. Well,

35:36

I always, as a small child, remember it being late. I

35:38

mean, it probably once when I was small, that would have

35:40

been up. It would have been at some point in the

35:42

year. It would have been my bedtime, my first bedtime. Sam's

35:46

bedtime. Bedtime! Time

35:49

for my bed. Where's

35:51

my sippy cup? It's

35:54

my bedtime. Well,

35:58

we'll do that. We've got some more. single

36:01

issue. Yeah,

36:04

single issue. Single issue.

36:06

Yeah. Yeah, so Ben

36:08

Clunge was talking about.

36:11

Anyway, it would be really scary because

36:13

it was a really funny show. But

36:16

the opening title was that helicopter landing

36:18

and it even take away

36:20

the song about suicide. It

36:22

was like visually it

36:24

was sort of there was something

36:26

spooky, something creepy about it. This

36:29

fucking helicopter landing people rushing around in

36:31

the state of panic in a war

36:33

torn environment. Yeah. And I'll be like,

36:35

Oh, what is being rushed into the

36:38

what the fuck? And then like the

36:40

opening light calls really

36:44

harmful. And I'm like there as

36:46

a little kid in the gym

36:48

jams with Mississippi top ready for

36:51

bed. And I'm like, Oh, what's

36:53

this man? Oh, what's happening?

36:55

And then they go, she goes, don't worry.

36:57

It's actually a comedy. And I go, are

36:59

you sure? And then the lyrics kick in.

37:02

Suicide is pain is good.

37:05

I don't think the lyrics

37:07

were in the introduction. What

37:09

is it? Suicide is killing

37:11

yourself. Yeah, but don't

37:14

worry. But I don't think suicide

37:16

is painless was in that was in the lyrics.

37:19

Well, it was only when the when it was

37:21

released as a single. You heard that. Okay. Yeah.

37:24

But obviously it will have been in the in the

37:27

public consciousness because of that. Did

37:30

the version they used on

37:32

the TV show at the beginning or the

37:34

end, did they do a concession

37:36

to the fact that it was a

37:39

TV comedy by rounding up the quite

37:41

mournful almost like Paul Simon type of

37:43

composition by going I

37:51

think they did. I think they did didn't they?

38:00

I've got it on now there, there's no looks but yeah. So

38:03

when that's over. The

38:06

British version of it that was shown, they'd removed the

38:08

laugh track, which is like canned laughter. Which

38:10

when you see repeats of it now, that is

38:12

annoying. But it's like,

38:15

this is a comedy but there's no one telling

38:17

you when to laugh. Which of course, there's loads

38:19

of that goes on now, comedy without laugh tracks.

38:21

Yeah. Hey, anyway, can we just please, please

38:23

get to the end of this moment. Why don't we have

38:25

a laugh track on this podcast? Well

38:29

because it would be constant pretty much. Yeah, I'll

38:31

be right. Everything we said. Right,

38:33

assets put in afterwards. Yeah.

38:37

So this helicopter's come down, Jimmy Slitter's

38:39

an helicopter coming down into the stadium.

38:42

The stadium public address system blared. And

38:44

here he comes, the new chairman of Melchester

38:46

Rovers. Any minute now he'll be

38:49

stepping out of that helicopter. Fan

38:51

shouts. Now that's what I call an entrance. And

38:57

there we just see some, a

38:59

pair of blue trousers with

39:03

legs in them. And

39:05

a shoe coming out of the helicopter. We can't

39:07

see who it is. Doesn't he have

39:09

nicely tailored trousers? Yes. I

39:12

can't believe it. They hang on the shoe

39:14

just so. Look

39:18

who it is. Shouts no Baxter. This

39:21

says Duncan Mackay. Well be the

39:24

football sensation of the year. Yap

39:26

you see. Ha ha

39:29

ha. And

39:33

it says don't miss seeing who it is in next

39:36

week's instalment. So

39:38

a big cliffhanger

39:40

for us. Unless,

39:43

unless Sam, he turned to the page which

39:46

has got Roy's message on it. What

39:48

do Roy fucking reveals who it is? The

39:52

whole point of this strip is

39:54

to encourage people to buy it next

39:56

week. That's the whole thing. That's

39:59

the everything. everything's been geared towards it.

40:01

And then, whoever heard

40:03

of someone doing a spoiler on

40:06

their own content? I

40:10

saw his thoughts. It would be like George Lucas

40:12

coming out and going, oh,

40:14

so George, Star

40:17

Wars, A New Hope was really great.

40:19

What can we expect in the next film? Well,

40:23

first thing to say is, turns

40:26

out Luke's starting to start to vader.

40:30

Next question. Next question. I

40:32

mean, you'll have to see how he

40:34

actually pans out in the film, but

40:36

it's gonna be really- There's been enough

40:38

happens before that. That's near the end.

40:40

That's near the end, but it's really

40:42

good. Yeah. I'll give you one little,

40:44

like a little teaser, right? What

40:47

happens is they have a fight with their

40:49

laser swords. Yeah. And

40:51

he pops, that made a pop-shoots fucking

40:53

handoff, right? Pops his hands clean off.

40:56

And then he tells him straight to his

40:58

face, I'm your fucking dad,

41:01

your cup. And then

41:03

after that, some other things happen, then it's

41:05

over. So yeah, you've

41:07

got that to look forward to. Next question.

41:10

Out in June. Yeah. Come along, have a look. It's

41:12

gonna be really good. Well,

41:17

you know, because of continuity and

41:19

realistically, we are looking at this issue of

41:21

Roy the Rovers. I guess, duty

41:24

bound to read out what is- Yeah.

41:27

This message and reveal it. So, hi

41:29

Paul, only a couple of weeks now at the

41:31

start of the new season. And as usual at

41:34

this time, I'm all keyed up, wondering

41:36

what the next nine months have in store

41:38

for Manchester Rovers. I've

41:41

had a meeting with the storyline team, I believe

41:43

it's gonna be good. He doesn't say

41:45

that. We certainly

41:47

start appreciation off with a bang, with the

41:49

announcement that my good friend, Jeff

41:51

Boycott, has become the new club driver. I

41:53

tell you what, it sort of

41:55

makes perfect sense that

41:59

there'd be no- makes though doesn't it?

42:01

I do not have many

42:04

friends because I find people

42:07

are not in inculverances in

42:09

my life and my projects and strategies.

42:12

However, there are some individuals who I

42:15

do regard as closer than their associates.

42:17

One of them, in fact, the only

42:19

person I can truly call a friend

42:22

is of course, Sir Jeffrey

42:24

Boycott. And I have noticed I have

42:26

been there myself. He has not yet

42:28

been knighted, but I consider that a

42:31

disgrace and that's why I have chosen

42:33

to call him Sir anyway. So

42:35

yeah, what a bonus

42:37

for the Rovers he says. Let's hope we

42:39

can make his appointment worthwhile by winning at

42:41

least one trophy for him. Fucking

42:44

hell. Jeff Boycott.

42:47

So there we go. As

42:49

if one arrogant bore at Melchister

42:51

wasn't enough. Brought in

42:53

another one. And we'll see

42:55

the big reveal next week. I wonder if that's

42:57

going to be a clash. You'd imagine they would

42:59

be. I don't know. I don't

43:02

know. We'll see, won't we? Alright, that's

43:04

it. Thanks.