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Go. Here we go Here We go here

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we go play say said. This.

1:00

Is top like time machine. I am on

1:02

the hopefully dos and Pro Pro Pro I'm

1:04

seventy two that I the sidewalk well cool

1:06

August pig or to see again and I

1:09

think the cosmos some has been. I'm listening

1:11

to us. and throwing pick

1:13

news us who the past. Week.

1:15

Or so because as a couple of. Them.

1:19

Were big pig stories the biggest

1:22

one piece to be. I'm I'll

1:24

give you the headline. pig stuck

1:27

in ditch tempted out with Turkish

1:29

delight. yeah we got sent his

1:31

by few people didn't My. We

1:35

did. I'm

1:37

just it's on The Telegraph's

1:39

on is using the excellent

1:41

Twelve Foot Lotta website which

1:43

bypasses appear walls or that

1:45

rioted. Know that. Does

1:49

most them apart from the times. Don't.

1:51

Have it does the I have s for cannot not. Boris.

1:56

The ball. was

1:59

so in

2:02

a ditch. Firefight this tribe

2:04

would fail to entice the boat out

2:06

of the hole with slings and guiding

2:08

lines. He's finally freed with a simpler

2:10

solution being tempted by his favourite sweet

2:12

treat. It's happening

2:14

on Thursday 11am in near

2:17

Chichester. Chichester? Chichester's a

2:19

place of interest? Yeah, it's a place of interest to

2:21

me. It's on my list

2:23

of possible relocations.

2:28

Wasn't there going to be a John

2:31

Chichester series of... There was, yeah,

2:33

yeah, James Chichester. What we realised

2:36

was, or was it Jeremy Chichester?

2:38

It's basically we came up with

2:40

a system that if you

2:43

do a Christian name beginning with

2:45

Jay followed by a place name

2:47

from anywhere in the UK, it's

2:49

a great character for a sort

2:51

of BBC drama series. Yeah,

2:56

yeah, definitely. You

2:59

may remember his enforcer, Jimmy

3:01

Wiggin. That's

3:03

right, Jimmy Wiggin. He was the rough diamond,

3:05

wasn't he? Yeah, he was very much a

3:07

Terry McCann of the piece. Yeah, yeah,

3:11

I like Jimmy Wiggin better than James Chichester. Yeah,

3:14

he might get his own spin-off series. Yeah,

3:18

I'm looking at this pig story. Is there anything in it?

3:21

It was tempted out by a Turkish

3:24

delight. The pig was pictured

3:26

lying in mud, entangled in rope, but

3:29

not in any visible pain. And

3:32

the fire rescue said, we were called

3:34

to reports of a large pig trapped

3:37

in a ditch in Burdam Road near

3:39

Chichester. Joint fire control mobilised

3:41

the services technical rescue unit to the

3:43

scene to rescue the animal. Slings and

3:45

guiding lines were used to support Boris

3:47

the pig out, encouraging him to leave

3:50

the ditch and return to his field.

3:52

However, he was mostly encouraged

3:54

out by his favourite snack,

3:56

Turkish delight! Exclamation mark. Whoa!

4:00

These. Forests was rescued

4:02

with no injuries and Bassoon reunited with

4:04

his own a. Cycle

4:07

is that does not really sick

4:09

as often as Amazon houses on

4:11

our taxes July as been used

4:13

to learn people in the past

4:15

as now I'm pretty sure in

4:17

the line and which in the

4:19

wardrobe day I'm the Queen of

4:21

the Wicked Queen at Cedars, one

4:23

of the children. Answer.

4:25

Hi I'm. Or. The

4:28

knife and carriage taught Sap that she

4:30

guys about an easy answer to. Still,

4:32

I remember that that something. Will.

4:35

Our remember it's of not

4:37

wardrobe mind respond with some

4:39

water case and said unto

4:41

thy yeah, it's not something

4:43

I'm particularly. Keen. On

4:45

that those stories I didn't didn't Not

4:47

when asked kid at spam spoken the

4:50

my outdoor from annoyance bought. This is

4:52

one the key things I remember. partly

4:54

because in the young ones they did

4:56

a so of a spokesperson. They did

4:59

one episode that was based on the

5:01

plot of the Line Which in a

5:03

wardrobe and Vivian more Sarah wardrobe in

5:05

a student house and ends up in

5:08

a Narnia type wintery measure land netherworld.

5:11

And he gets sent it onto

5:13

the Wicked Queens carried by Turkish

5:15

Delight as well. Anyway, Ah,

5:18

Says hair salon in summer it's it's

5:21

allies. A candy made with start to

5:23

Sookie family comes in places like rose,

5:25

orange and Lemon in the line which

5:27

new wardrobe to crystallize is a symbol

5:30

of Edmunds mistakes and his want to

5:32

something so much that you will have

5:34

for this to get it. Getting Edmunds

5:37

is the truth of the story Am.

5:40

Yeah. Is the ultimate temptation? That's how

5:42

it's betrayed as sat with Cs Lewis

5:44

you are these books was nice and

5:46

friendly self Tim tempted by tix tonight

5:48

at any point now does on one

5:50

side I don't have you be a

5:53

much so to still I in a

5:55

lot but I find it quite disgusting.

5:57

It's like sites flavored jealous. We're

6:00

at Capri's Try or fries is

6:02

it? but I was fries turkish

6:04

July of they understood this and

6:06

I feel or Turkish delight Got

6:09

this is go. Quite classy reputation

6:11

right? is not a posh person

6:13

sway an ipo bomb. Fortunately it's

6:15

disgusting so half when we market

6:17

to the wider public. Cover.

6:20

Guess lap of A and cover in

6:22

Fucking Shocked. Shocked. Creepily. anything once is

6:24

covered in chocolate. It. Goes

6:26

back to the can pick root of

6:28

earlier in the way to go Wimbledon

6:30

the an upper middle class and civic

6:33

grasping the ask for that. The cost

6:35

is this will be by Turkish delight

6:37

bullied by the the stuff is covered

6:39

in sugary disagree dollars in a chocolate

6:41

the day it will would you care

6:43

for success Desert Talking about gonna paypal

6:46

is very simple system the I've established

6:48

for identify what's a red flag. Of

6:50

saw of that. You. Know

6:52

up soy middle England Tory

6:55

wanna bes right? And

6:57

it's very simple any one and I

7:00

mean any on who's ever posed for

7:02

a fight. So whilst holding a lost.

7:05

A. Ah, as a champagne

7:07

flute. By. Anyone

7:10

who is poised to picture and

7:12

anyone who is willing they all

7:14

my staff for themselves On the

7:16

five it's a ton of them.

7:18

Hold in a glass of champagne

7:20

like the measure Bylaw Nice by

7:22

for a former tabloids oil correspondent

7:24

James Whitaker right assess haven't a

7:26

clue of champagne and your hand

7:28

in a five hour is a

7:30

big red flag Greece like this

7:33

is it allows you to court

7:35

rejected a flu to Sam Pain

7:37

because I have a bit like.

7:39

The Queen You say that

7:41

the past. It's

7:44

kind of life is a Wimbledon he would

7:46

dare the other one somebody to They popped

7:48

some pinball cook said well one of the

7:50

please was serving it was awarded the lesser

7:53

course. I caught number Eleven Eleven yes but

7:55

some fuckers are popping open is something mother

7:57

vs on the. The to sit.

8:00

If you must term, if you must open

8:02

your champagne, please do it when the players

8:04

are serving. Yeah well that was innocent of

8:06

up a response to say not as a

8:09

headless yeah, it's enormous champagne. Is.

8:12

Kind and ness the semi know about

8:14

simply because it is so of like

8:16

a Daily Mail's a Raiders idea of

8:18

high class, luxurious and as you know

8:20

the sort of our main and they

8:22

says lot is always at some wedding

8:24

or something like that and I'll just

8:27

be a picture of someone in a

8:29

high as six and they're holding as

8:31

a glass of champagne. Just you say

8:33

about breast sites are they really brandishing

8:35

it? Were innocent paying off a bad

8:37

spot fucking are you can get some

8:39

time down the the local Fox News

8:42

agents. My is nothing special. a main have

8:44

a glass of champagne by all means but

8:46

I make a big day long of does

8:48

it opens with some I was a photo

8:50

of us I'll start by the fireplace with

8:52

of I flew to south say. Yes,

8:55

that's right. It's like I'd be the James

8:58

Bond film. Some. Kids

9:00

ridiculously over resists. Fucking stupid. A

9:02

Nice nice it's wings. Of.

9:04

As I love my wedding. You

9:06

know, People. Come

9:09

in the new given muttering to the reception.

9:12

And die my telling cousin guys

9:14

to make what is this drink.

9:17

Is. It some by our and not

9:19

not Champlain. Is. Preset club.

9:22

And. In ah good. To. Do

9:24

that because you prefer sit the prosecco and

9:26

I said now it's just much fucking cheaper

9:28

and he found that very funny. but it

9:30

was true. Am a phone tell

9:32

the difference and it was cheaper. Any

9:34

why some like it? Sometimes I'm sure

9:37

that people are listening to my boss

9:39

with an email explaining the nuance differences

9:41

between the two drinks, but you know

9:43

entreaties. I do sometimes of the boss

9:45

of most concise. Yes,

9:48

yes, does that ever tried? Some has

9:50

fallen. System Proceed

9:52

says busy Drink. This

9:54

quite see Blind Pig story. This.

9:58

is local the may the soon incident in

10:00

Easington, in County Durham,

10:02

this was a few days ago, and

10:05

a skipped pig caused chaos after

10:08

it escaped. That's some good story right

10:10

in there, the Northern Echo. Yeah, we

10:12

know it was escaped, we just said

10:15

that. And a skipped pig caused chaos

10:17

after it escaped and started walking along

10:19

residential streets in Easington this morning. Some

10:22

residents may have woken up and seen

10:24

a pig walking around their street or

10:26

garden after one managed to escape its

10:28

owner. Now it

10:30

would be easy for some readers to say

10:32

we were telling porkies. Oh,

10:36

come on, you don't need to do this,

10:38

it's below you. We won't name

10:40

the writer, but it's like they really don't need

10:42

to do this nonsense. I'm

10:45

not going to name him. He looks like a young

10:47

lad. I'm not going to name him. It's

10:49

not hard to make a living these

10:51

days in the world of journalism because

10:54

it's disappearing quickly and the race

10:56

for Clicks is out of control.

11:00

Thanks to some locals from Easington grabbing some photos

11:02

of the pig, we can assure you it actually

11:04

happened. And

11:06

there indeed is a picture of a pig just walking about

11:09

as if nothing's happening, about

11:11

9am. The

11:14

pig was first seen near Easington Welfare Club

11:17

and then was seen further down Seaside

11:19

Lane. Many

11:21

people wanted to get involved in either helping to

11:24

catch the pig or make light of the situation.

11:27

I guess it would be more of them doing

11:29

the latter rather than getting out there

11:31

trying to help. Commenting

11:34

on one of the photos of the pig, one

11:36

social media user said, only in

11:38

Easington, while

11:41

another simply added, that's crazy.

11:47

However, others were concerned for the welfare of the

11:49

animal with one person chiming in with, has

11:51

anyone actually got it safe? Is

11:54

it safe? It

11:58

was rounded up by a kindhearted member of the public. public and

12:00

returned to where it escaped from with one

12:02

person confirming it was back home

12:04

by posting a pun-tastic post that

12:07

read porky has been rescued some

12:10

lovely people saved his bacon and

12:12

got him back home. Christ

12:15

alive. Pigs do tend to there's

12:17

a lot of escaped pigs stories

12:20

a huge amount and I

12:22

think that more than almost any

12:24

animal they just crave freedom and

12:27

if it was down to me I don't eat

12:29

pork anyway I'd let them be free why

12:31

not they could make valuable contributions

12:34

to society we've established in this

12:36

deep dive they're extremely clever they're

12:38

pretty kind they've got great

12:40

values and it's not like

12:43

you know it was probably save us a lot of

12:45

money and land for them not

12:47

to have to be like looked after by humans

12:49

I'm sure they can look after themselves let them

12:51

be free they crave freedom and we only keep

12:53

them in captivity so we can eat them get

12:58

this it's not even the first time has been in a

13:00

scared pig in easy in the last 18 months

13:02

in February 2022 another pig wandered

13:05

into easy and

13:09

colliery club yeah that's photograph

13:11

of it on that occasion the

13:13

animal approached all the customers for a stroke

13:17

they managed to lure him outside with cheese

13:19

and onion crisps before somebody arrived to claim

13:21

him so this there's

13:23

a problem in eating with pig

13:25

security or the looks of it I

13:29

think we can only just wait and find out

13:31

what's gonna happen next because these things come in

13:33

threes don't they they do jalapeno tired

13:38

of ads intruding into your favorite

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is available on Amazon music for all

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music app for free or go to

13:53

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13:56

comm comedy ad free to catch

13:58

up on the latest episodes without

14:00

the ads. It

14:35

is almost unrecorded that

14:37

animated a genius while Disney was

14:39

obsessed by pigs, says John Varley

14:43

of Folkestone. Walt

14:47

Disney shot to fame in 1928 with

14:49

the release of Steamboat Willie, one

14:53

of the first animations where the soundtrack is

14:55

synchronized to the on-screen action and voices to

14:57

mouth movement. What is not

14:59

widely known is that Walt

15:02

intended this film as a homage

15:04

to pigs, especially male pigs, and

15:06

it was originally called Corkscrew Willie,

15:08

referencing the peculiar shape of the

15:10

pig penis. I think John Varley

15:12

has made this stuff up. Yeah.

15:15

John Varley's trying to be funny. Yeah.

15:19

This is the point of the picker Odyssey we

15:21

seem to have reached now. Yeah.

15:25

He's done some more facts. I'll put an inverter comes

15:27

facts. And then he says at the end, for some

15:29

reason you won't find this in Wikipedia. It's because you

15:31

made it up, John. You've

15:35

wasted our time on this pig

15:37

Odyssey. Yeah. You've embarrassed

15:39

yourself. We've revealed your real name

15:42

now. We've revealed your location inadvertently.

15:44

I haven't read this first. I

15:47

hadn't pre-assessed it. And now that

15:49

we all know that you live in Folkestone, do

15:51

you? And that you're a liar. The

15:57

Folkestone liar. Right,

16:03

back to the aliens then I guess. Oh

16:07

here's one with Lorraine Kelly. ITV's

16:14

Lorraine predicts Boris Johnson resignation with

16:16

psychic pig before shore pulled off

16:19

air. Fucking

16:21

hell. That's from

16:24

last year. She got

16:26

a psychic's pig. Yeah,

16:28

well it was not hers, it was just on the shore.

16:30

Yeah. Kit Robinson,

16:32

you're sending a fucking message. I know

16:35

it's time for the regular putt spot

16:37

on the shore where we bring out

16:39

my psychic pig to make its political

16:42

predictions of the week. Come

16:44

on in. Be

16:49

a great slot on any show. Goopie.

16:53

I mean I was going to say we should get ourselves a shore

16:55

pig. Oh yeah. But

16:58

Lewis Clare would be on the emails like lightning. He

17:00

would. Why

17:02

don't we replace results bot? He's been

17:04

nothing but trouble the last couple of

17:06

years anyway with results pig. Got too

17:08

good. Got too good

17:11

and his lifestyle issues are threatening

17:13

to reflect badly on us as

17:15

a brand. So

17:18

I'm just wondering whether it's time to send

17:21

him off to the robot farm in the

17:23

sky and bring in results pig. Might

17:29

be. I'm just still looking for more pig stuff

17:31

here. Straight

17:33

pig. Irish pig racing on YouTube, you

17:35

mentioned that last time. Yeah. God,

17:38

you know we're running short on the pig odyssey

17:40

here Sam. I think it's run out of steam. I

17:42

can tell you, I think it probably has, but

17:45

I can tell you just to sort of fill

17:47

in the rest of this. That

17:53

there was not an escaped

17:55

pig, but there is currently an

17:57

escaped lion in definitely a I've

18:02

talked a lot about Devon's lion

18:06

problem. It's

18:09

something I've followed for a long time. I

18:14

am Googling this story because there's one

18:16

that I saw last week that was

18:18

a recent story. I met a woman

18:20

last week and

18:24

I was in Margate and I said, Do

18:30

you live around there? She went, No, I live down in

18:32

Exmoor in Devon. I said straight

18:35

away, I was like, right, tell

18:37

me about the lions down there. She went, What

18:39

are you talking about? There aren't any lions. I

18:42

said, They're fucking eys. It's well

18:44

known that there are lions living wild in Devon.

18:47

I said, If you look in

18:49

the local press around this time of year, there

18:52

is always a light story

18:54

where a tourist was driving along late at

18:56

night down a country lane when

18:58

a figure jumped out of

19:01

the bushes in front of them. They had to screech

19:03

their hull. All they see

19:05

is the silhouette of what appears to

19:07

be a lion shaped creature, which in

19:09

my mind means a lion. What

19:14

else could it be? And they freeze

19:16

and they lock eyes and

19:18

then eventually the lion just jumps back or

19:20

the lion or whatever it is jumps back

19:22

in the fucking bushes and fucks off. And

19:25

people say it's because

19:28

in Devon, a lot

19:30

of the old sort of Aristos and toffs who

19:32

used to live around there or maybe still do

19:34

an own land, they

19:36

would back in the day buy themselves

19:38

exotic animals because it was a stateless

19:41

symbol to own outlandish

19:43

exotic animals. And

19:45

so a few of them started buying lions and

19:47

it was a case of like keeping up with

19:49

the Joneses. Do you know what I mean? He's

19:52

got a fucking lion. I'm going to get a

19:54

fucking lion. So it became fashionable. We're going back

19:56

maybe 100 years or something, right? And

19:58

so suddenly, A lot of

20:00

the local gentry around Devon have

20:03

all got fucking lions living with them, right? And

20:06

you could buy them in Harrods, couldn't you? You could

20:08

buy them in Harrods, exactly. And so they were

20:10

like, well... But they

20:12

were shit at looking after the lions. They

20:14

liked to get them to show off about

20:16

it, but when it came to actually caring

20:18

for a lion, that was a fucking whole

20:21

different kettle of fish, right? Notoriously hard to

20:23

look after. Yeah, they didn't know where they

20:25

were fucking... They didn't

20:27

know where to start. So these lions generally

20:29

just fucked off because they weren't being looked

20:31

after properly, and they weren't being caged

20:34

either. They were just allowed to roam around

20:36

the gardens, these big country states. So the

20:38

lions were like, fuck this, I'll be better

20:40

off fending for myself. These humans haven't got a

20:42

fucking clue out to look after a lion like me.

20:45

So basically a few of them escaped into the

20:47

wilds, you know, we're talking about on the wilds

20:49

of Exmoor, and they found

20:52

it quite easy to hide. But then they started meeting each other

20:54

because there was a few of them, and

20:56

their little community formed, and it was like, oh,

20:58

you're a lion too. What are you doing now?

21:00

I didn't expect to see any other lions around

21:03

here. And they go, oh, I

21:05

got fucking shipped over to be an exotic pet

21:07

for one of these posh-cons, but I fucking legged

21:09

it because they're useless. You go, same here. The

21:12

community forms and they all start

21:14

having it off. And so basically

21:16

they bred other lions. And

21:18

now to this day, there is a

21:20

small community of lions. You still live

21:23

wild on Exmoor in Devon. And

21:25

they only sort of, well, they'll hide during

21:27

the daytime, but sometimes they're spotted at night

21:30

roaming about, looking for whatever it is they

21:32

eat, rabbits and foxes and such. And

21:35

so if you're going down to

21:38

Devon anytime soon, just

21:40

be fucking careful. Yeah. And

21:43

you're saying this is a legitimate, 100% true lion existence

21:45

story. Yeah.

21:49

I mean, I've not made up what I just

21:51

told you. This is what I've read in various

21:53

different places. And I've read it many

21:55

years ago. And now I Always

21:58

look, especially around this time of year. And

22:00

I google Wilde Lion. Seven.

22:03

Because. At.

22:06

Lot. While let this is mostly police

22:08

called off the line spotted right? this

22:10

is in the Daily Mirror no less.

22:12

Police called off the line spot despite

22:15

no animals missing from nearby. Say see

22:17

this one talking about. right? People

22:19

can on the it is is no

22:21

line miss Music is a wet is

22:23

low income from and then they day

22:25

bats people I mean lions and in

22:27

those lines breeding and breeding them breeding

22:29

over generations police have been sent you

22:31

missed it for some a lion on

22:33

the loose in south West England Stop

22:35

in the forces control room. Received a

22:37

call from a concerned local at risk

22:39

and sad I blow called your say

22:41

and I could sad what seems to

22:43

be the problem while I believe I

22:45

spotted a lion and South Molson but

22:47

three parts the Bolland. Keep it says

22:50

here in Devon. At.

22:52

The incident was one of five

22:54

big cat sightings in Devon in

22:56

the Devon and Cornwall Police up

22:58

for serious june. Twenty Twenty one.

23:01

Five big Catseye in sandy with

23:03

no cover lie in a skate.

23:05

Big Cats from the local saves

23:08

so that sick. Or. Say

23:10

and keep an eye out. Zappa goes

23:12

on getting. There. Are fucking wild

23:14

lions hanging around? and and who knows,

23:16

wild tigers Toefl line outs in Devon

23:18

and Cornwall if you're one of the

23:20

very few people in the southwest. Innocence

23:22

of thought. some seats with are not

23:25

many to sneeze in southwest they dug

23:27

like com line of. Humor or?

23:29

our worldview? Is. Well I

23:31

think. The. Different people and

23:33

yeah, they're gonna run Coach and

23:35

a goner I'm podcasts. Fair enough.

23:37

fun. Fair. Enough to provide invaded

23:39

or across northern was audible distances. Focus

23:41

is not to my taste. Airport

23:45

couple's houses and some ice ice. The. The

23:47

The. Put cast their a hundred and of

23:49

beliefs Yeah and elusive. Let me know

23:51

that delivered in pamphlet for Move towards

23:54

Hoffman's yeah, so satisfied Davis I don't

23:56

blame them for not listening, but if

23:58

you are one of the out. Is

24:00

in the Southwest listening to this and

24:02

you know anything? Please get in touch

24:04

via email at Sea of Time machine

24:07

actually email.com Believe that see address and

24:09

top flight time. I'm not a minds

24:11

on sina to email.com Get in touch

24:13

because you may know about this. Phase.

24:17

United States are offering that. Pretty much anyone

24:19

he lives on an error is aware of

24:22

the rumors and I'll be delighted that you

24:24

have seen camp at once. But as always,

24:26

do not lie just to get your email

24:28

redoubt or we will spots. To.

24:31

Me Cope. Silly route Facts

24:33

about lie about my my enrollees

24:35

Snow Reliant know lying about lions

24:37

are not such a just shut

24:39

the i'm gonna get up goes

24:41

on my t shirt list for

24:43

on. Don't lie about lions old

24:45

mode line about lines to and

24:47

I haven't decided yet. I'm

24:52

in been online about lines. And.

24:56

Is this some Parsons as the sick of see

24:58

also would go on from a year and it

25:00

is just completely unaware of numbers on Twenty One

25:02

we didn't watch that pick film this I just

25:04

as. With and

25:06

bonuses and producing testosterone is a

25:08

disaster. Arms. Deal

25:12

with those. Apologize filed a police we

25:14

got some outlines on sense that something

25:16

old I was going to was just

25:18

wow. Wilde Lions as a standalone deep,

25:20

dark but can't do that now. With.

25:23

Was if we fleshed out with a

25:25

bit alliance them for it's it's over

25:27

with the stuff smells like for us

25:29

when we retire. Witnessed isn't seen with

25:31

West. I'm retired. Bobby Woosnam the six

25:33

when thought of as as I funny

25:35

as if you mean that's funny fucking

25:37

Farm it M C A retired to

25:39

better themselves when he moved to proceed.

25:41

Don't have any. Daddy played about five

25:43

games for the. Ah,

25:46

sucks in a. Coffin

25:49

and for the I'd honestly the to

25:51

go to see will be bought with

25:53

the beginning of a new odyssey. Next

25:55

weekend was will be reforms a shoe,

25:57

a full cease hostess his as lots

25:59

of money. Yeah, I like it. Thanks

26:01

for listening. Goodbye. Even

26:31

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