0:00

How many times estimate? Do you think

0:02

you peed in my yard?

0:03

It was nine months, God,

0:06

it was a lot.

0:08

Let me tell you something. A potocarpus

0:10

can only take so much of your

0:12

urine.

0:14

Then that would be the plant right behind the gate that looked

0:16

like it was dying.

0:16

Yes,

0:19

Pasha

0:22

Tosh,

0:27

this is toss show woo.

0:32

That was a new sign on. Man,

0:35

I'm in a good mood today. Why in such

0:37

a good mood? O? J. Simpson dead?

0:40

Oh say what you want about O. J.

0:43

Simpson. But he was a murderer.

0:47

He miss he was. I actually worry

0:49

that those two murders will negatively

0:52

affect his legacy. These are tribute

0:55

jokes for Norm MacDonald.

0:57

Rip Norm. I wonder if anyone is with

1:01

OJ Dine have they said, oh

1:04

this one hurts. That

1:06

always bugs me when I read some oh this one

1:10

hurt or when they go up twenty twenty four,

1:13

come on, like, ease up,

1:15

well, Eddie, I hope you're

1:18

excited because today

1:20

I'm debuting a

1:23

new segment. I'm excited.

1:25

I came up with this the other day

1:27

when I was watching some basketball, and

1:29

I'm like, this is gonna be

1:31

a great new segment. I'm calling it front

1:34

row face off. This is the Lakers

1:38

versus the Pacers edition.

1:40

All right, Okay, here's how the game's played.

1:42

You show me a photo

1:45

of the front row at a Lakers

1:48

game or a Pacers game,

1:50

and I have to guess which one

1:52

it is. All right, Eddie, give me the first

1:54

one here you Okay,

1:58

this seems like a dead giveaway because

2:01

it's just all middle

2:03

aged white men. One

2:06

guy's wearing an Indie shirt and

2:08

I can see the floor, so

2:12

I know this is Indianapolis, right, Yes

2:14

it is. But look at these people. I

2:17

mean, these are the people that

2:19

love to make fun of California. By the way, I have shows

2:22

coming up in Indianapolis and I can't wait to

2:25

mock them in person. But as

2:28

I look out at that rich

2:31

selection of diversity, and

2:34

you have to understand, this is the front row. So

2:36

these are the richest people in Indianapolis,

2:38

and they know they're gonna be on TV, so they're

2:41

wearing their best clothes, just

2:43

oozing with style. All right,

2:46

Well, that one was pretty easy. All right, let me see the next

2:48

one. Okay, I'm

2:51

gonna guess Los Angeles Lakers.

2:54

You got Megan thee Stallion showing

2:57

her showing her sweet cleave.

3:00

Oh man, Yeah,

3:03

a bunch of Lakers. I don't know who are friend

3:05

is good? God? Is she a smoke show

3:07

too? And this is the city his ship

3:09

on. You

3:12

look at our front row and you're like, oh,

3:14

la sucks. Okay, yeah,

3:17

no, it's it sucks so bad. Show

3:20

me, show me, no, see if I can see, if I can go three

3:22

for three? Okay,

3:26

look at this, I'm gonna guess

3:29

Los Angeles again. Why

3:32

do you say that? I mean there's just a

3:34

lot of style dressing

3:37

to the nines looking great. You

3:39

got any anymore?

3:40

Yeah, here's another one.

3:42

Indianapolis, Am

3:45

I right? Oh, a bunch of

3:47

honkeys. Look at all those Honkys.

3:50

Just rows and rows of Honkys.

3:53

You see all those honkeys honkeys

3:55

and Khakis honkeys

3:57

and those two go hand in hand. That's

3:59

a good I love Indianapolis. Way to

4:01

go, guys, all right? And that's our new game

4:04

like it front row face off.

4:06

That was the Lakers Pacers edition.

4:08

Speaking of trailer trash, I own a trailer.

4:11

Yeah, not so Hollywood elitist,

4:13

now, am I? I love my in laws

4:16

so much that I had a mobile home parked

4:18

in front of my house so they could feel more

4:21

like the Florida trash they are. It's nineteen

4:24

eighty seven Axcella airstream

4:27

had it completely renovated. Enjoy

4:33

Casha

4:36

today's guest. Help me turn my front yard into

4:38

a trailer park. Please welcome the

4:40

airstream contractor to the Star. I'm

4:43

the Star, Scott Scott.

4:47

Lovely to have you. Thank you, sir. What

4:49

do you want to start with your fascinating

4:52

and riveting life story

4:55

or working on

4:57

my actual airstream.

4:59

Let's start the airstream.

5:00

So I bought an airstream because

5:04

that's what fucking people

5:06

in Malibu do. Nineteen

5:08

eighty seven thirty

5:11

three foot Excelia. I

5:13

paid twenty twenty

5:16

three thousand dollars for it. It was

5:18

destroyed. It's dented on the outside,

5:20

the inside was pretty much gutted

5:23

by the way I was allowed. I

5:25

had agreed with my wife. We

5:27

agreed on a nineteen foot, but

5:30

they didn't have a nineteen foot. They had a thirty

5:32

three foot and the guys I got to buy it. Now,

5:34

man, these things are going quick, and I'm like,

5:36

oh, okay, So I bought it. So I brought

5:39

it back. Then I had to

5:41

get it wedged in and that took about

5:44

seven hours with fifteen

5:46

people trying to wedge it into its little

5:48

parking spot. My wife also said, you cannot

5:51

get stressed out about this, so I was like, fine,

5:53

it's just a fun little project. We're going to renovate

5:55

an airstream, and by renovate, I'm

5:57

going to hire someone to

6:00

do all the work. Then lo

6:02

and behold. My neighbor

6:05

are couple houses down, but we're

6:07

we're not gonna say who, but I live in a

6:09

celebrity enclave. This

6:12

person's Academy Award winning. They

6:15

had bought an old airstream around

6:17

the same time, and you had finished

6:20

up on it. And I was like, oh, well, if

6:22

it's good enough for an Academy Award winner,

6:25

send this guy my way. I don't need to do any

6:27

research. You had never really done

6:29

this before. Correct? Correct?

6:34

How did you get into building

6:37

multiple airstreams on my street?

6:39

Oh boy, it's a long story.

6:41

That's good.

6:42

As you know a little bit from the background.

6:44

I'd worked in the movie industry for a while as a prop

6:46

maker.

6:46

I know a lot about you because one thing I'm going

6:48

to tell people right now, you can

6:51

talk. This is true all

6:54

right, let's get into it, right, So you are a prop maker

6:57

on movies. Yeah, I got into the film business

6:59

later in life. I guess you'd say it was in my boy.

7:01

I got into the prop making when I was forty. How

7:04

old are you?

7:05

I'm fifty four, You're fifty

7:07

four.

7:07

You still look good? You look I mean well,

7:10

I mean you still look good. You look good.

7:12

When I finally got into working in props, I'd

7:14

already had a stint in just about

7:16

every trade for a little while. Okay, when you work

7:18

in props, there's no rules on how to do anything, so

7:20

I had free reign to kind of pull from

7:23

all the experience of all the different trades and

7:25

maybe really good at being a prop maker. It gave me

7:27

a lot of advantages with props.

7:29

Though in television, it doesn't

7:31

matter if it lasts long, It doesn't matter if it functions

7:33

well. In my experience, it just

7:35

matters if it looks good and does

7:37

what they needed to do for that split

7:40

moment that it's on film, which is

7:42

terrifying when it comes to needing someone

7:45

to build you a home that

7:47

someone's going to live in and drive down the

7:49

road. Right, all right, go

7:51

on?

7:52

When I got to working on your airstream

7:54

in particular, because I'd worked in construction

7:56

and whatnot, I had some experience about what it would take

7:58

to create something some longevity,

8:01

okay, right, And I kind of put the

8:03

pressure on myself to be moving fast like

8:05

you would for a film shoot.

8:07

Uh huh.

8:07

But I was able to settle in and say, well,

8:10

I got to build this as if I'm going to live in it, you

8:12

know. That's the only way I could figure it out. So I

8:14

kind of end up taking a little more time than I would have liked,

8:17

But everything I did was based on

8:19

the idea you're probably gonna want to enjoy it for a good

8:21

ten twenty years.

8:22

My wife was pregnant

8:25

right when you were coming

8:27

aboard to start the job, and we talked

8:29

briefly and I said, Scott, how

8:31

long is this going to take? I need this finished

8:34

by her the

8:37

birth of my daughter. And you said you

8:39

said no problem, did

8:42

you not? You said no problem? I believe

8:44

I said that, yes, right right, you said two months.

8:47

I can do this in two months. I believed I could

8:49

get it done in two months, right now. It took

8:52

eleven about it

8:55

took It might have been more like nine nine months.

8:57

Fine, the same amount of time it took my wife

8:59

to grow a human in her belly?

9:02

Is how long? Here's the thing. I

9:04

don't care two months or nine

9:06

months. I mean, I just finished

9:08

going through construction. Hell I had, I had the Wolseley

9:10

fire that burnt my house. I had

9:13

four years of permits to build my house

9:15

than another four years like so, I've

9:18

seen real delays, So this it

9:20

didn't really bother me. But I felt

9:22

like it you you felt a

9:24

little bit of pressure. I did feel a lot of pressure.

9:26

I was was it was I putting it on you?

9:29

No, it was more like I made the commitment and

9:31

that at some point I realized, Wow, this is a lot more

9:33

effort than I was expecting, all.

9:35

Right, because you had never done it before, not on that

9:37

size. Now,

9:40

I didn't have any real plans. Were

9:42

you at any point going like, ah,

9:45

this guy's no idea what he's

9:48

talking about? Or were you like fine

9:50

with how vague I was.

9:51

I've done a couple of other builds, making small

9:53

homes. I converted a van for somebody

9:56

once, and I did other similar work. I

9:58

just kind of knew I'm going to get

10:00

this thing cleared I'll get a couple of walls in where he

10:02

wants it, and once he starts to see

10:04

it look like a house, that's when the

10:06

wish list will come out. I would like this detail

10:09

here. Usually comes in the form

10:11

of hey, I was just thinking, could you

10:13

and then you throw out something that probably

10:15

wasn't discussed at any given point.

10:17

I mean, I feel like I had stayed pretty

10:19

true to what I wanted the whole way through. You're

10:21

pretty good? Yeah, okay, do you remember what your quote

10:24

was for me of how much it was gonna cost?

10:26

I don't remember. Fifty four thousand,

10:28

okay, because what you gave me as a quote will

10:30

be come in fifty two to fifty three, seventy,

10:33

seventy seventy.

10:36

But again, guess what I

10:39

think that was? Perfect? Okay, good, I don't have any

10:41

I don't have any problem with that. If you give

10:43

me a quote of fifty four and we it's

10:46

seventy is the actual that? To

10:48

me is an honest person, you can

10:50

tell your builder look at that. You got yourself a up.

10:52

No, I just meant just the one dead nail

10:54

that you smashed. Yeah, are

10:57

you licensed and bonded?

10:58

I am no, not at all.

11:02

Uh. I don't even know what license

11:04

in bonded means. I just know I've read

11:06

that my entire life on the side of

11:08

people's trucks. Does that mean that? Uh?

11:11

That that that if you fall and get hurt in my yard,

11:13

that you can't sue me. No, not at all. I

11:15

could.

11:16

I could totally suit you.

11:17

Oh man, that would have been horrible.

11:19

That's my that's my future

11:21

healthcare plan.

11:23

How many times estimate do you think

11:25

you peed in my yard?

11:26

It was nine months, God,

11:29

it was a lot.

11:30

Let me tell you something. A potocarpus

11:33

can only take so much of

11:35

your urine.

11:37

Then that would be the plant right behind the gate that looked

11:39

like it was dying.

11:40

Yes, yeah, not, I

11:42

apologize. Not only did

11:44

it look like you were aiming for the drain underneath

11:46

it? I could tell, right because but there's just

11:49

dead leaves all around it.

11:51

And then I want to point out, by

11:53

the way, always invited

11:55

to come into my home, you never chose to do

11:57

that. You never knocked on the door and said I used to the bathroom. You are

12:00

always you always went out

12:02

to the side of the yard. But the

12:04

stench after a while I

12:07

had to start I want you to know I had a weakly

12:09

hose down that area, just

12:13

to be fair. It wasn't just me agreed,

12:16

And to be fair, I told you,

12:18

hey, if I'm not here, ever, you can

12:21

go pee right here. That

12:23

is a spot.

12:24

And I do remember in the beginning I made an effort to

12:26

move around that space and try to hit different plants.

12:32

Then I kind of lost enthusiasm. And why

12:34

are airstream such a pain in the ass.

12:36

They seem like when you walk around and start looking

12:38

at the construction, very simple, elegant

12:41

and effective. And I think that

12:44

all the ones who were doing remodels on have been driven

12:46

down the road for a couple hundred thousand miles and just

12:48

had the ship beat out of them.

12:49

You can't have something put together

12:52

with ten thousand rivets and

12:54

be forty years old and not

12:56

leak. How much

12:58

time did you spend sealing her

13:00

up?

13:01

I think we dedicated two solid weeks

13:03

just to fixing the leaks, and then boy

13:06

throw out a couple different rains. All the rest of

13:08

the project, we discover a few more, and yeah,

13:10

it was.

13:11

Oh, Airstreams should sponsor this show, and

13:13

then I could film this show

13:15

out of an airstream. You airstream. Give us

13:17

a brand new airstream, one of the beautiful

13:20

ones to a big, huge one. All right,

13:22

good? Did my driveway chickens bother

13:25

you? Only they're aroma? Oh?

13:27

Really?

13:27

There was a I'm not sure if it was your sewers

13:29

backing up, but for like about

13:32

an hour every day, there'd be.

13:33

A bit of a stench emanating from right around there.

13:35

I guess I never noticed my chicken smelling.

13:37

It was kind of disturbing to look at them, watch

13:40

them do their thing. They turn around in that area around

13:42

the Kloaco would be kind of muddy and mucky. That

13:45

was kind of hard to look at.

13:46

Did you ever learn my chickens names? Oh?

13:48

Boy? You told

13:50

them once? Told me once their grandparents

13:52

right there?

13:53

Oh good memory? Betty, Katie

13:55

and Hazel.

13:57

I couldn't tell you which one was which.

13:58

Betty is black? All you have to me o black

14:00

baby. I liked having you out in the driveway

14:03

because that's always always fun to come out there and see

14:05

the progress, or see your frustration, or

14:07

watch you. I don't mean

14:10

this in a disrespectful way. Are you a little

14:12

clumsy boy?

14:13

Sure wasn't your driveway that time around?

14:16

I felt like I've watched you stumble

14:18

in and out of that airstream.

14:20

Man, I could I could not negotiate the

14:22

depth of that step.

14:23

I don't know what it was. For four months,

14:25

it was just your toolbox. Yes, and

14:28

how many ms you hit your head getting out of the.

14:30

Airstreams twice once in the beginning,

14:32

huh, and you you know, generally do that once.

14:35

It's like, okay, I've established that height. And then boy,

14:38

towards the end, I got myself good.

14:39

By the way you had help at the beginning. The people

14:41

that you would bring no experience

14:45

in building either. It's like you're

14:47

like, oh, this guy is a writer and

14:49

he's got some time off, so he's

14:52

just gonna help me. Then he brought one guy

14:54

over to work and he wouldn't

14:56

stop insisting on

14:59

painting mural in the bedroom.

15:01

And I was like, I don't want a fucking mural, man,

15:03

How do I say this nicely? You could

15:06

have just said it just like that. I didn't. I just said

15:08

no, I think we're good, or my wife's going to handle

15:11

the artwork, and he's like, no, I

15:13

tell him I want to paint a mural

15:16

in here.

15:16

I think when he heard your wife was going to handle the artwork.

15:18

He was really nervous for you.

15:20

That was Nate.

15:21

Nate, if you're listening, wonderful work.

15:23

You did great work. Just you know.

15:25

Nate's actually a fine art painter. That's

15:27

sort of his miliu is bringing that sort of life

15:29

to things.

15:30

Here's the difference between a

15:33

white person in construction

15:35

versus a lot of times the

15:37

Latin appeal. They would be in my driveway

15:39

at six a m. Till two

15:42

thirty. They avoid traffic on both sides.

15:45

You different style, show

15:47

up around eleven, stay

15:50

till it's uncomfortable,

15:52

and I'm walking outside at nine him

15:54

telling you, hey, fucking wrap this.

15:57

We have a noise ordinance. Yeah, I

15:59

try coming earlier. There's just so

16:01

much traffic from the part of time I was coming, I mean there was kind

16:04

of no way to avoid it. And then when I was

16:06

on a schedule to get started better, I

16:08

was stopping at one of three different

16:10

home depots almost every day.

16:12

Our all home depot layouts the same, pretty

16:14

damn close. You know your way around real well, I

16:16

think so. Yeah, you ever asked for help or no, No.

16:19

I don't need to ask for help.

16:20

That's growing though, By the way, what's the best

16:22

power to uh to buy?

16:24

You're talking brand or the brand brand? Oh

16:26

boy, I think right now Milwaukee is probably the best Milwaukee.

16:29

I think I've got Milwaukee, Milwaukee. Why don't

16:31

you send me some more shit? I love Milwaukee.

16:33

They should be a sponsor to this podcast. Milwaukee.

16:36

I don't think I have Milwaukee. I think I have

16:38

Makita. Is Mkeita

16:40

not good?

16:42

If you like that sort of thing?

16:43

What does that mean? That seems like, well,

16:45

they're they're.

16:45

Asian designed and made, so they're a little more elegant,

16:48

and we Americans like things that hit hard and

16:50

bash things. So Milwaukee and do Walt

16:52

pack a little more punch with the interesting

16:55

interest?

16:55

Sweired? How everything? You know?

16:58

There's there's there's a lot that

17:00

are drawn. I'm not foreign

17:03

to work in with tools or you think

17:05

I am.

17:06

You didn't look particularly handy.

17:08

WHOA.

17:10

I'll give you this though.

17:12

When you talked about adding that little badge

17:14

or emblem to the electric car

17:16

you got for your son, you talked about the hardware,

17:19

and you said, how would I go about this? And I said double

17:21

stick tape. And I realized I could

17:23

see the reaction on your face, and Daniel actually

17:25

knows what I'm talking about in this.

17:26

Well that I know what doubles.

17:28

He realized it was a better option than using

17:30

hardware to penetrate the surface of the brand

17:32

new car.

17:34

All Right, I gave you a few points so

17:37

I know how to tape something. It wasn't Eddie

17:39

here. He has a

17:41

little cabin in Tahoe and

17:44

all the time just as like, oh,

17:47

I'm putting in a new bathroom and I'm like, I

17:49

know you you don't have any ability

17:52

to do this, And he's like, yeah, we watch

17:54

YouTube figures you figured out and he

17:56

does it and does it look good? It

18:00

doesn't look it looks better, but it also

18:03

looks like somebody that oh this

18:05

was your first time. Good, good try. Yeah,

18:08

I'm gonna show photos of your bathroom like a grade

18:10

schooler. You can. I mean, it does look better,

18:13

it looks better. It

18:15

doesn't it doesn't look it does doesn't look amazing.

18:17

I wouldn't say it amazing, but that

18:19

you know, that could be some of your design choices. And that's

18:21

just you know, a difference of an

18:23

opinion. By the way, were there any of

18:26

my uh decorating or design

18:29

ideas that you thought, this is not gonna look

18:31

good or colored choices, And now that

18:33

you see it, go okay.

18:35

I was not a fan of the penny tile in the shower.

18:37

Oh interesting, I like penny tile,

18:39

but the color was I know something

18:41

about it. It just it just didn't

18:43

work for me.

18:44

Pink. Yeah.

18:46

Yeah, Well, normally in a shower you would have

18:48

if you're gonna go with penny tile, it would it's normally

18:50

on the floor, uh huh, and you would counter

18:53

it with something else on the walls where we just kind of went everywhere

18:55

in it. Yeah, it does look better now that

18:57

it's complete. Now, once we had the hardwood

18:59

floor and then we had the off white everywhere, and then

19:01

the two wallpapered walls.

19:03

Huh.

19:03

That helped quite a bit. But you still don't

19:05

seem like you like it to this day. It would not be my choice.

19:08

You're completely wrong. Let me tell you something. Everyone

19:12

everyone loves that shower. I'll

19:14

stand corrected. When I first met you,

19:16

we started talking about in

19:18

your life. Interesting, fascinating,

19:21

fascinating for sure. Okay, can we get

19:23

into it, go for it all right, Let's start

19:25

with just off the top of my head, you

19:29

were adopted.

19:30

Yes, so I grew up in San

19:32

Diego, and my parents told me

19:34

from a very early age that I was adopted at

19:37

birth. We didn't really get into it. So you were born in

19:39

Sandigo, I was born in San Diego. Yes, I was actually

19:41

come to find out. I was released to them the

19:43

very next day.

19:44

Ah. Okay, so it was probably during the

19:46

pregnancy. This was all worked out

19:48

correct, huh.

19:49

And then I grew to fifty years old

19:52

not really knowing anything else about it.

19:53

I never wanted to, not really because

19:55

I felt like I had my family, of course,

19:58

you know. But still I've looked

20:00

into adoption before. I'm not I've

20:02

been very interested in it my whole life of adopting

20:05

a child, I thought. But my wife

20:07

wanted to have her own children, as

20:10

a lot of people do, and I'm not. That's

20:13

been great too. I'm still open to it,

20:15

and I think now maybe

20:17

that'll be something we can do. But now

20:20

I've learned there's no more

20:22

of these closed adoptions

20:24

or secret adoptions where you don't

20:26

get to know the information the parents.

20:29

Information now is just it's always

20:31

readily available. Okay. So I have a comment about

20:33

that, go ahead.

20:34

So I think it was maybe two thousand and six, when

20:36

I went to get my marriage license at the county

20:38

Clerk's office in San Diego. The

20:41

clerk took my information, confirmed

20:43

my social Security number, and then said,

20:46

hey, are you aware you're adopted? And I

20:48

know, as a matter of fact, I am. He said, well,

20:50

do you want to contact your birth parents? No one ever

20:53

put that to me before, and I said, well, no, I guess

20:55

not. Why do you ask this is well it says right

20:57

here the information is available

21:00

and says you're free to contact if.

21:01

You're like, uh, what a weird thing

21:03

for him to do. Yeah,

21:06

that's cora. I mean, borderline. He's

21:08

an insane person, but he probably has a monotonous

21:11

job and rarely gets to have any

21:13

fun, and he's like, watch me blow this dude's

21:15

mind. Totally in hindsight that

21:18

day, you should have been like, you know what, just

21:20

rip that marriage license up and walk

21:22

out him. And oh boy, that is

21:24

that is correct? Yeah. When I met you, you were like, hey, you

21:27

were going through a divorce. You're

21:29

like, but you still lived

21:32

with your wife, your ex wife? Yes,

21:35

uh huh, so I think that explains why

21:37

I was having to kick you out at ten o'clock at night. Something

21:39

to do with it. So this is two thousand

21:41

and six, back when things were so sunny, so

21:44

sunny, so full, the beginning of a relationship.

21:46

Yeah, it was amazing, Okay, And

21:48

he tells you this, little does he know? He

21:50

just put a seed in your head that

21:53

eventually is going to explode.

21:55

So in twenty seventeen, my father

21:57

died, and in that year following

22:00

I started thinking about what about

22:02

my birth parents? Do I have any other family? And so

22:05

I simply called the County Clerks office in San

22:07

Diego and said I'm ready to have that information

22:09

now. And the response

22:11

was, actually, there was a bit

22:14

of a foul up. We weren't supposed to be

22:16

letting any of that information out, and this

22:18

was apparently a statewide mistake somehow,

22:20

and they said, now the law stands

22:23

that every adoption is sealed. So

22:26

they were unwilling to give me any information.

22:28

And then later I filed some kind

22:30

of a form, applied for it for the information

22:32

for a bunch of different excuses,

22:34

and they came back and said, look, unless

22:36

you have a medical emergency that

22:39

the doctor gives you a note and says

22:41

we need to know what's going on in their family, you're

22:44

not going to find out about this, not through us.

22:46

This is where it gets a little weird.

22:47

I don't think I've told you this part, so I think

22:50

the following year, I

22:52

was with a friend and she

22:54

said, hey, do you want to go to this giant medium

22:56

event? And I said, what's this.

22:58

The way she's setting this up, then I

23:02

don't want to go to this.

23:03

So twenty bucks ahead you feel a small auditorium.

23:06

Two mediums sit in psychics

23:09

if you will, sit at the stage, and they talk about

23:11

what it's like to to contact people

23:13

in different ways and living and dead, and

23:16

then everyone's allowed to ask one question, and

23:18

just to add little drama, I ended up being on one

23:20

side of the room, so I was the last person they asked,

23:23

and I said, Hi, I grew up adopted. I'm

23:25

wondering are my birth parents alive?

23:27

Okay?

23:27

And I figured that was a good question, because if

23:29

this was just the whole cold read technique

23:31

where it's a you know, it's some kind of a parlor

23:33

trick. They both seemed a little flu mixed. They

23:36

asked me a few questions here and there, and they

23:38

said, sorry, you can't really can't really help you. And I was

23:40

like, no, we'll see it's bullshit, right, It's complete

23:42

bullshit.

23:42

That's what you needed to know, well that it

23:45

was complete bullshit.

23:46

Well, as I walked out,

23:48

one of them pulled me aside and said, hey, we

23:51

don't like to respond to any negative

23:53

things, right, So I didn't want to say this and full front

23:55

of a room full of people and have you take it wrong, but

23:58

said, your your birth father is dead,

24:00

your birth mother's alive, and she

24:03

doesn't necessarily want to be contacted by

24:05

you. Oh fuck, all right, So

24:07

that seems odd.

24:09

Ah, no, it seems insane.

24:11

Well it segues here, we'll go all right.

24:13

So then later, just deciding I really

24:15

want to know what the genic makeup is, I

24:18

do twenty three and meters and my

24:20

first cousin, Marlene, if you're listening, thank

24:22

you again. My cousin Marlene is on Instagram

24:25

and she immediately calls me and spills

24:27

the beans about my whole family living on the East

24:29

Coast. My birth father had in fact died.

24:31

He had died the same week as the man

24:33

who raised me. That I thought of my father and

24:36

who was your father? Yes, even though you say

24:38

I thought him as I? I okay, okay,

24:41

I call him Dad. He's Dad. Okay, So

24:43

Dad and Biot.

24:44

A week apart, same week.

24:46

In August of twenty seventeen.

24:47

Yeah, huh, Ery, Well

24:50

yeah, now, if she'd have brought that up the

24:52

median she was actually correct as well.

24:54

That birth mom, bio mom, you

24:56

know, had me in secrecy and

24:59

didn't want the family to know about it, and in

25:01

fact, when I contacted her, simply

25:04

ignored my calls and emails for like a

25:06

month.

25:07

I mean, I can only imagine what I

25:09

would do if someone from

25:11

let's say, Kansas City that said

25:13

they had an abortion fifteen

25:17

years.

25:17

Ago, Springfield, Missouri, something like

25:19

that.

25:20

By the way, this is also part

25:23

of the reason it took nine months

25:25

to do my airstream. Continue,

25:31

do you believe in I'm supposed to ask this my first

25:33

question to all my guests, but for you it's been

25:35

my fiftieth question only

25:38

because I know the answer. Do you believe

25:40

in ghosts? Absolutely? All

25:42

right?

25:42

Continue, Cousin

25:45

Marlene put me together with my brothers, okay, gave me

25:47

their phone numbers.

25:47

Your cousin Marlene says you have two

25:50

brothers, full brothers, which

25:53

means I'm just you know, I'm spelling this out.

25:55

This means that your parents had

25:57

you, gave you for adoption, stayed

25:59

together, and then had two more children.

26:01

Correct. Correct, that's interesting, right.

26:04

I mean, I'm just trying to think of my family. My parents had

26:06

four kids. Imagine if how much better my life

26:08

would have been had they given one of my

26:10

sisters up for adoption. I'm

26:13

not saying which one. I'm not starting any feuds,

26:17

all right, continue, So my

26:19

two brothers, you contacted them. They were

26:22

opened, They were completely open to it.

26:24

They both called me like

26:26

within that week. I think one wanted to

26:28

rattle on and on and on like I do, and the other was

26:30

like, hmm okay, well let me know when you're gonna

26:32

be out here. One's a house builder and he worked with our dad,

26:35

and then the other one is

26:38

an auto mechanic. He owns his own little garage

26:40

and Vermont. He's kind of in a I don't

26:42

want to say he's like a hermit, but he's he's kind of

26:44

out there in a small town. Sure, But apparently

26:47

when dad wasn't building houses, his pastime

26:50

was building drag cars. So

26:52

so you know, I got

26:54

both.

26:54

Your adopted parents named you

26:57

Scott. Yes, did the birth certificate

26:59

have a different name.

27:00

No, it didn't.

27:01

So they got to name you. They got to do everything.

27:03

What are your brother's names, Jason and Matthew?

27:06

Did they know you existed? They did

27:08

not.

27:08

Nobody knew apparently, so cousin

27:11

Marlene said, after she and I spoke on the

27:13

phone, she said, I hung up with you, and

27:15

I neatly called my mother and she said when she

27:17

answered, I just said, mom, which one of your sisters

27:20

ran away to the West Coast in nineteen sixty nine,

27:22

had a child and thought no one would

27:24

ever find out?

27:25

And apparently, wow, this cousin is is

27:29

fun at the family. Yeah, she is just

27:32

a shit stir.

27:33

Apparently her mother sort of gasped

27:36

very dramatically and said, I knew

27:38

that's what happened.

27:39

I knew that's why she took off for a year. So

27:41

apparently it had never been admitted. So you

27:44

finally talked to your mother bio

27:46

Mom, Yes, bio and your

27:48

mother not your biome. Your mother.

27:51

She was aware that you were

27:53

going down this rabbit hole. Yes,

27:56

absolutely, and was totally fine.

27:57

She was great with it because she had two brothers

27:59

and two sisters, and she felt

28:01

like that experience of having a lot

28:03

of siblings in a large family was like one of the better

28:06

parts of her life.

28:06

Was she as intrigued by the discoveries

28:09

or confused or any of it?

28:11

You know, I think it landed

28:13

a little awkward in the beginning, like, hey, I'm

28:15

gonna you know. I never talked about bio mom

28:17

with her, although bio Mom eventually

28:20

tried to friend her on Facebook.

28:22

Interesting, interesting choice.

28:23

Yeah, she really enjoyed seeing

28:26

pictures and hearing conversations. She spoke

28:28

to both my brothers on the phone at one point. Okay,

28:30

yeah, so it was good.

28:31

Okay, how was the first meeting with bio

28:33

mom.

28:34

Wasn't exactly a joyful reunion?

28:36

Huh?

28:37

First I met my brothers and I hung out with them for a bit.

28:39

It turns out, just as a coincidence,

28:41

the entire family was at this one house. So

28:44

I came pulling up in a rented minivan and

28:46

there was thirty five people.

28:47

So they did that on purpose knowing that you were coming.

28:50

Don't I don't think so. I think

28:52

at that point bio Mom wasn't really talking about

28:54

it much.

28:55

They didn't know you were coming. They didn't.

28:57

Most of them on that porch did not know

28:59

I was coming.

29:00

And then you just started seeing faces they kind

29:02

of looked like yours. Yeah, I bring him something

29:04

else. So you told me you used to used

29:06

to be much larger. Yes, yeah, I was a

29:08

heavier guy at one point. You lost a ton of weight,

29:11

about sixty pounds, I think. Okay, when

29:13

you met your brothers, it was kind of

29:15

like both versions. Yeah,

29:18

actually yeah.

29:20

The second brother, Jason is

29:22

probably the fittest of the three of us, and looked

29:24

just like me when I was at my most fit. And

29:26

my brother Matthew, my baby brother, Matthew.

29:29

Yeah, he's carrying the weight. He's a bigger guy,

29:31

right, He's also bigger physically all.

29:33

Around, you know. All right, So you walking on the sport you

29:35

start seeing faces and features that look

29:37

like you. Is that freaking you out?

29:39

It was interesting to finally look at people and say

29:42

that's that's really a family resemblance, because I've

29:44

never experienced that.

29:45

I've never once looked at people and

29:47

go, oh, you look just like or certainly

29:49

babies. I've never been able to see like people look at my kids

29:51

like they look like you, and I'm like, do they I

29:54

don't really see it. It's kind of hard to see

29:56

a shage. All right, so these people actually look

29:58

like you, and you're like, no doubt out at these are

30:00

my brothers, right, And then my mom,

30:02

how was that? Did you do you walk? Do you hugger? Your

30:05

handshake? What do you do?

30:06

And we did a fist pump.

30:07

No.

30:09

I walked up and I sorry, and I didn't

30:11

know what to say, and she says, well, I'm your

30:13

mother, and then she gave me a hug and it

30:16

kind of broke the ice and we chatted a little bit.

30:18

But there were a lot of people, you know, it was kind of like

30:20

I just won the super Bowl or something. There was just like a lot

30:22

of loud talking and cheering and

30:24

whatnot.

30:25

Is she good looking? She's in great shape

30:27

for her age. I'd say she looks healthy. I mean, you got

30:29

great hair. That's that's her side of the family

30:32

for sure.

30:32

This is Grandpa Selepski's hair, in

30:34

case we're looking at it there it.

30:35

Is, so that's good hair.

30:38

Yeah. Did you did you breastfeed from her?

30:40

No? Not even not even you

30:42

know what, I don't know for a fact. No, I met when you guys

30:44

are at the reunion. Just

30:50

to break the ice. Mom, I

30:52

think you owe me this. It's time to eat. So

30:54

when you showed up at this family readnion, did

30:56

you immediately request all the

30:58

back birthday gifts?

31:01

I didn't even think too.

31:02

I mean they missed a lot. They did miss a lot.

31:05

Before you met your brothers, did you,

31:07

like, like stalk them on social

31:09

media to make sure that they didn't need a kidney

31:11

or anything.

31:13

I did stalk them, but I wasn't looking for medical

31:15

conditions.

31:16

Okay, there was no big red flag.

31:18

They don't have a huge social media presence there.

31:21

And then after that day, just

31:23

all a family again. You guys moved in how to work

31:26

by all.

31:26

Mom was kind of holding me at arm's length for a little

31:29

while, but as time's gone by, it's, you

31:31

know, it's become okay.

31:32

Even though she did the right thing for her, the

31:34

guilt of giving away a child is a weird

31:37

thing for probably any person. And

31:39

then to face it fifty years later is yeah,

31:42

it's not like you were coming with like a malicious

31:45

intent or anything like that. But I'm sure

31:47

she still felt the weight of

31:49

this, like, oh, I'm sure, and that's

31:51

that's that's a tough thing.

31:53

I think it was the second

31:55

year I flew back there and met the family

31:57

for Christmas, and

31:59

there's a lot of people there that didn't

32:01

know anything about me still, and so

32:03

I kind of spent the evening introducing myself.

32:06

And there's a lot of confused looks about

32:08

that, like you're who kept

32:11

getting that quite a bit.

32:12

How many years older are you? Then you're the

32:14

next closest brother.

32:15

Four years, four years, and then brother

32:18

passed, that's another four years.

32:20

Well, well, well the three

32:22

of you, by the way, did you have any health

32:24

issues that you needed to worry about after

32:27

going down this rabbit hole? It appears not. I

32:30

would love to find out that my parents

32:32

aren't my parents. I literally

32:34

would go, oh,

32:37

that makes so much sense. Well,

32:39

it is interesting you say that.

32:41

So I certainly got along with my family growing up

32:43

and all the extended family. They're shared

32:45

interests, But I mean I was the only creative,

32:48

if you will.

32:49

And do you think that's because the parents that you

32:51

had in the West Coast just

32:54

a different environment? Yeah?

32:55

I mean I don't know. They were both they're

32:58

both very blue collar people. Mom

33:00

grew up on a farm in Iowa and

33:02

dad actually lost his

33:04

dad when he was really young and spent his formative

33:07

years, just moving all around the state.

33:09

So you think you probably, out of your siblings,

33:11

you had it better. I think so.

33:13

Actually, right, yeah, one of that sounds a horrible

33:16

thing to compare, but that's what my job is

33:18

to a right. Right.

33:19

I feel like I got to grow up in San Diego,

33:21

you know, in the seventies and eighties. I mean, it was just beautiful

33:24

there, you know, in mild weather, and there was a lot of

33:26

fun to be had. There's outdoor sports, there's motor

33:28

sports. It's all good stuff.

33:29

Uh huh. And now you're throwing

33:31

all of this away, are

33:34

you not? And you're you're you're heading

33:36

across the country to work with your

33:38

brother.

33:39

I am, you know, I'm just gonna take off. I want to spend some

33:41

time with my brothers. I have the opportunity. That's

33:43

Vermont, that's Connecticut. Oh, Connecticut.

33:45

He's the housebuilder. Are you going to build house? He's

33:47

already booking me for work. So how do you build

33:50

in the winter? Connecticut? In the winter time? Let

33:52

me tell you how depressing that place is.

33:54

Ugh. I

33:56

think he spends a lot of time sitting

33:58

by a stove getting warm in the winter.

34:00

That always makes me mad with builders like like

34:02

like in La if it sprinkles,

34:05

nobody shows up to work for four days

34:07

on a work site. I'm like, oh, so you're

34:10

telling me that they need complete

34:13

sunshine to build in Seattle. I

34:15

don't know. Somehow they get it done. Which

34:18

one are you living with? The one that

34:19

that's grumpy or the other one.

34:22

The grumpy one I'm going to I'm going to Matthew's

34:24

house. Initially, are you you you know, bully

34:26

him?

34:26

Oh? You know what? Actually the middle brother does that?

34:29

No, right, first night, wake

34:31

him up with your nutstack on his head. Just

34:35

let's say I'm missed out on all this good

34:38

huh. You know he's a lot bigger than I am. That

34:40

might you guys gonna take a bath together. You should

34:42

recreate all all You

34:44

should recreate every childhood photo

34:47

with the sibling. You should take baths

34:49

together and then do a calendar. Yeah, I

34:51

know people don't you have calendars anymore, But

34:53

you send out a friendly calendar of

34:56

all of the missed opportunities that

34:58

you had with these brothers. One time

35:01

I had my brother hold on

35:03

to a rope that I

35:05

tied around his wrists. Okay,

35:08

so I tied him run his wrist. We were playing

35:10

some form of prisoner and

35:13

then I tied the other end of the rope to my

35:15

bike, and then I started riding my bike

35:17

and was making him run around

35:19

my house in our backyard in Saint Louisa,

35:22

and I was just going faster and faster,

35:24

and I just kept telling him, eventually, you're

35:26

gonna get tired and fall. That's

35:32

what you missed out on. That was man.

35:34

That was particularly cruel.

35:35

It was I don't know that he ever actually fell.

35:37

I probably got tired sooner

35:40

than he did. Is it possible that

35:42

you have yet another brother named

35:45

Spike Ferirestine.

35:49

It's funny you say that.

35:50

When I was working for Spike, we

35:52

were chatting about something in the hall and he goes, come

35:55

over here. He took his glasses off, put

35:57

him on my face, and he said, it's like looking in a goddamn

35:59

mirror.

36:00

Ah, so you worked for him. I did

36:02

work for Spike. I didn't know that. I always

36:04

give everybody a gift on the show.

36:07

This is what I'm giving you. I don't want him

36:09

in my garage anymore.

36:12

You seem like a man, and I'm not. They

36:14

look like folding ramps. Yeah, they're folding ramps.

36:16

Alright, I don't want them. Okay, I'll take them,

36:18

thank you.

36:19

I don't need them, but I'm going to now go out and find a

36:21

piece of equipment that requires there.

36:22

Yeah but you, but you're a dude. Yeah, hey,

36:25

these are great. Actually, whoa careful

36:28

you? You cut yourself? You also

36:30

enjoyed. You would see how I would

36:32

torture people, Panda cousin.

36:35

I used to occasionally go

36:37

out in the driveway when you were working. You

36:39

would not and I would put a

36:42

horribly offensive bumper sticker on

36:44

her car. They were bumper stickers

36:47

that I had made when I used to do my other show.

36:49

One of them was like I chug jizz and

36:54

I'd put them on the back of her car and she

36:56

would never notice. So, for instance,

36:58

the I chugged jizz when she went to a concert

37:01

that night and she I like, like a

37:03

small local concert, like and

37:05

she pulled into the parking lot and there's

37:07

a bunch of people milling about, like getting

37:10

ready to perform, and they saw the bumper

37:12

stick and they go like geez, lady,

37:15

and she's like what and and she's

37:17

like, oh, like just mortified. But

37:20

it would make her a hit at the party. I

37:22

still do it, just so you know. I do it constantly

37:25

and sometimes you'll catch it in a couple of days. Sometimes

37:28

Copp will pull her over and be like, hey, you shouldn't have that

37:30

on the back of your car, but anyway,

37:32

I'll give you one

37:34

so you can have one. I don't know if you want

37:37

to stick it on somebody's or use it for yourself.

37:40

That everyone you love

37:43

will eventually die. Yeah, that's nice.

37:45

Well, it's just it's sometimes you

37:47

know the right person to give that to you, and

37:50

then you stick it on their car and you just laugh and

37:52

they're like, give it on the floor

37:54

next to your table. Hey, you're If you're

37:56

moving to the East Coast and something

37:59

goes was horribly wrong with my

38:02

trailer, how fast

38:04

can I get you back? I

38:07

promise a seventy two hour turnaround. By

38:09

the way, I love my airstream

38:12

is my problem. And don't say

38:14

this just because I want to hear you say that. I

38:16

don't know that I actually want to hear this. Is

38:18

this the best project you've ever done?

38:20

I will I will say this. This is not to

38:22

placate you. I really I really enjoyed

38:25

your project. It was challenging. I

38:27

did a couple I did a couple of things I'd never tried

38:29

before that came out beautiful, Like when we

38:31

did the ship lap and actually

38:33

brought it all the way around in a curve into that front

38:36

section. I'd never seen that done before.

38:37

No, it was good. I just I just assumed we were

38:39

not.

38:39

Going to do that, and when you brought it up, I was both

38:42

pleasantly surprised and kind of irritated. I was like, oh

38:44

man, that's gonna like that's gonna I'm got

38:46

to figure out how to do that.

38:47

Uh huh.

38:48

Now it's gorgeous.

38:49

I think it's beautiful. Everyone thinks it's

38:51

beautiful, and I use it. We always

38:53

have guests to staying in there, Like every other

38:55

week at least there's somebody, and my son

38:57

and I even occasionally get to do

39:00

an overnight sleepover in

39:03

there, which we've done. I'll tell you my favorite thing

39:05

about the airstream is some peace and goddamn

39:07

quiet just

39:10

goes sitting there and I close the door and I hope they don't

39:12

find me. Well, listen, whenever you're back, you're

39:15

welcome to stay in my

39:17

airstream for in

39:20

my head I was gonna say two nights,

39:23

but people always push

39:25

it and get a little extra on me, So I'll say

39:27

one night. Then you can. You can have two

39:29

nights. You can push it too. You can push it too, and

39:31

I'll give on too. You can stay

39:33

in my airstream for a night,

39:54

Scott. Thank you for building my airstream.

39:57

Thank you for talking about your very fascinating

39:59

life, and good

40:01

luck in Connecticut with your

40:03

new baby brother.

40:09

Casha.

40:12

Will Carl. It sure

40:14

is sad now that Scott's not in our front

40:16

yard every day. I want to thank Scott for

40:18

being on the show. And we also gave him

40:20

an additional partying gift as he was driving out of

40:22

town one of my bumper stickers. I hope

40:24

he gets tons of laughs out of that. He

40:27

actually needs to come back. A

40:29

small leak in the airstream and and I need him

40:31

to touch that up. I'm sure he'll do right

40:33

by me. Hey, I'm in trouble.

40:37

What's going on? You know? We created this segment

40:39

to check in on my mom's physical well

40:41

being?

40:41

Right?

40:42

Ah? Sure as shit? I messed

40:44

up forgot to do it. Last

40:46

week she had a surgery cataracts.

40:50

Okay, is that you don't consider

40:52

that surgery. I mean it is. Yeah,

40:55

I don't know if it's a check in surgery. Oh

40:58

that's interesting, because she is. She's

41:00

making me feel pretty guilty for not checking

41:03

in on her. What is was that surgery even entail?

41:05

Now? You know what? Let me just ask her.

41:09

Let's see if she's home. Hey,

41:16

hey, I wanted to check in. I heard you had surgery.

41:19

I did.

41:20

I had a cataract. What

41:24

you missed it? You forgot to ask?

41:26

Now? What is it? What exactly does

41:29

that surgery entail? It's surgery.

41:31

It's real surgery. They take a lens

41:34

out that's cloudy, and

41:36

they put a new lens in, and they put

41:38

it so I can see. So I don't make glasses.

41:41

So I have one eye for distance and one eye

41:43

for reading. And it's great and I'm good.

41:45

So you're not wearing glasses anymore. I've

41:48

never worn glasses. I've always worn contacts.

41:50

Well, I don't have to wear contacts anymore.

41:52

Yeah, so you got one eye for close and

41:54

one eye for far. Yes? Are

41:57

you can you drive at night?

41:59

I can?

42:00

Well, I don't.

42:01

I don't. I don't usually go out at night,

42:03

but if I do, I can yes,

42:05

Eddie. Eddie told me that this surgery

42:08

doesn't warrant a phone call check in.

42:10

Oh it did?

42:11

Do you have any Do you have any other surgeries on the

42:13

plate? I don't

42:15

have any other surgeries on the plate. I'm

42:17

done. Would you would you ever

42:20

openly talk about some of the plastic surgery that you've

42:22

had. I've never had any.

42:25

You know, I wouldn't do that. You're all natural.

42:28

We're done. That's it,

42:33

all right. Well, I'm gonna check in

42:35

on you later. Do you have any follow ups on this,

42:37

on this major surgery that you've had? My

42:40

follow ups, that's when you called.

42:42

It wasn't my last follow up.

42:44

I've had three follow ups, so you missed

42:46

it completely.

42:48

It doesn't didn't sound very serious. But I'm

42:51

glad. I'm glad you've recovered and that your eyes are

42:53

working well.

42:54

I love you.

42:54

Love you by Oh

42:59

you know, she acts like she doesn't care, but she really

43:01

does. Ye get that sense. Oh

43:04

my goodness. And if you do see

43:06

her on the road, if you're in Brevard

43:08

County and it's nighttime, you

43:12

need to get out of the way.

43:15

That will blind slide you. We

43:18

got some plugs. I'm gonna be in Fresno this weekend.

43:21

Come on to see me. Check the calendar

43:24

at Daniel Toosh dot com. Check

43:26

out boyswarpink dot com to

43:28

buy some cute clothes

43:32

for any toddler

43:34

that you know. We got The Goat

43:37

premiering May ninth. Hear

43:40

they're gonna drop three episodes on

43:42

May ninth. Have you guys been hearing that? Yep?

43:45

A lot of people talking about on the streets in Hollywood.

43:48

Eh. What else? Do we have? Another bedtime

43:50

story? Last week's bedtime

43:53

Sorry for my once three year old

43:55

son was the best. Actually, it

43:57

was long, it was funny. I played it to him

44:00

and he laughed. He laughed the whole way through. He thought it was he

44:02

was getting tickled by himself. I

44:05

was like, you can't laugh at your own jokes. But

44:08

this week's this week's sucks.

44:10

So what are you gonna do?

44:12

Kids like me hit and miss see

44:15

you next week?

44:16

One to tell?

44:17

So yeah, let's

44:19

tell stories. You gotta go first and no

44:23

down. He wants to go first?

44:25

A right, let him go first?

44:26

Get party came, Yes,

44:30

tattap, get that tat?

44:35

I name many he

44:37

read?

44:43

That story is horrible. Now you tell

44:45

a story.

44:46

Once upon a time and the soul

44:49

we sid social

44:53

legit bunny.

44:55

All he wanted to.

44:56

Do is samply, he twittered.

45:00

All he wanted to do is sampling.

45:02

He tay it, and then

45:05

I just all it take. And then

45:07

the bunny didn't know what to do, he

45:10

said. He finally he

45:12

sold to them what all

45:15

yoga? And at my talk will

45:17

house?

45:18

What is joining?

45:20

And then the other got what it?

45:23

How that could do? And

45:26

and just so when waging

45:30

This story is no good either