0:00

Tell us

0:02

what. Tell

0:09

you what, you know what we want to find. I'm

0:15

glad you're alive. I'm alive. I'm

0:17

just out. But there's probably

0:19

hundreds of people out there, maybe

0:22

thousands, that want to know if

0:24

the old bubbler got it last

0:27

week. No, I was just out.

0:31

Mind your own business. I was just out. I

0:34

heard that you got

0:36

to third base and you got thrown out trying to

0:38

go home. Is

0:40

that what happened? No. I

0:43

just noticed, you know one thing I've also noticed, you're

0:45

starting to wear your shirts a little lower

0:48

than usual. Just want a bit of hair. No,

0:50

I just didn't button that one up by

0:52

accident. Got any hickies on your neck or

0:54

anything? No, I do not. So

0:57

you didn't get banged? No, I'm not

0:59

saying that. I'm just saying none of your

1:01

beeswax. So you might have got a little...

1:04

Did the bird come out of its cage? All

1:09

right, this is... Got to worry about where my bird

1:11

was. This is the most important

1:13

question of the day, then we'll just leave

1:15

it. Was it

1:18

a he or was it a she? Who?

1:21

The person you're on a date with. I wasn't on a

1:23

date. You were on a date and

1:25

there was a mustache? Was it... Is that...

1:27

I didn't see a mustache. I

1:30

wasn't on a date. I was just out with

1:33

friends. Take

1:35

off the S. A friend.

1:38

Oh. Perhaps come on. No,

1:40

it was a mixer. It was

1:42

a mixer at the Legion. What do you mean

1:45

a mixer? A mixer. What the fuck? What?

1:49

Where you go and you mix it up with people,

1:51

you mingle. Oh, you're at a mingler.

1:53

A mixer. I thought you met them

1:55

on timber. No,

1:57

you don't go on that thing. You sure that

1:59

wasn't... Timber. Timber? Tender,

2:01

I mean. What's that, the app

2:04

for lumberjacks? No. No,

2:06

actually, there was a cat. It's a cat dating app

2:08

that you're on. That's what it was. I

2:11

do go on that one, but not look for dates. You

2:13

hook up with people that have cats that have the same

2:17

love for cats. All right. I

2:20

just wish you'd had gotten, you know, banged.

2:22

No. You couldn't even. Sex pause?

2:25

No, sex pause is different. That's

2:28

just a website, right? Sex

2:31

pause. All

2:34

right, so you're not gonna tell us. Moving on. That's all you're

2:36

getting. All right. All

2:38

right. Hopefully, I will say this,

2:40

and I'm not even gonna say anything else.

2:43

Okay. I did injure my hips.

2:46

Whoa! That's

2:49

it. You did injure it. That's a loaded

2:51

statement right there. I have an

2:53

injured hip. I'm

2:55

just gonna leave that as part of the

2:57

mystery. All right. You're okay.

3:00

You're a fucking devil. No, I'm not saying that.

3:02

You're a bag of fucking, bag of gums. You

3:04

were gone for two days. I

3:06

was gone for two days. Boys, I came

3:08

back and got a doppel bag and got

3:10

some supplies. Some toiletries. Some

3:13

domes. No. Some toys. Come

3:15

on, bubs. Some toys. Yeah, some

3:17

toys. Some rips and chains. Oh

3:20

yeah. Gag balls.

3:22

Yeah. Foote blurs. Air

3:24

compressors. Ah,

3:28

fuck. This is fucking January the 19th

3:30

already. Yeah, it is, man. Jesus Christ.

3:34

I guess that means winter will be over. Get the fucking

3:37

winter out of the way, man. That's what I say. Fuck

3:39

winter. Yeah, good point. Yes,

3:41

winter can definitely suck me right

3:44

into back in April.

3:48

People are like, what about skiing? What about fucking skidooing?

3:50

So many people don't have a five. You know what?

3:52

There's not enough snow to do that. You can go

3:54

away and do that on a weekend. Yeah, you're right.

3:58

I used to love the. I will

4:01

admit. What did I do when I was

4:03

a kid? Now I don't care if I

4:05

see another piece of snow as long as I live.

4:08

How many days did you live in that snow fort you

4:10

built? It's a fucking... When

4:13

I was a little guy? 27 days. 27 days,

4:15

baby. That's a

4:17

quarter thing, man. Well, because I know

4:19

how to build a igloo. That's

4:22

why I had that thing, you know, remember

4:24

the... you get it from K-Tel

4:27

for cutting the snow blocks? I had one of those. You started

4:29

pissing on it every time you had these bats from

4:31

me goading piss on your igloo. It

4:33

was fun, man. Fun times. But fuck

4:36

them. Fuck winter. What do you got for us, Ricky?

4:39

I'm just smoking it a little. People got born. I'll

4:41

talk about it later. I

4:43

wonder if you can still get those K-Tel

4:45

snow block cutters. Do you remember that? Yep,

4:48

I do. Remember you pushed it into the snow

4:50

and you make a perfect cube? And they would...

4:52

that's how I built that igloo. And

4:55

then you spray it with the hose gently. Put

4:58

a nice sheen on it and then it freezes.

5:00

Give it another layer. Cozy

5:02

little pad. Oh, it was gorgeous.

5:04

I had a

5:07

little, you know, a little hole dug out in

5:09

there and a fridge. What did you do for

5:11

the roof with those? Well,

5:13

you just built it at such an angle that

5:15

the bricks, you know, the blocks would hold themselves

5:17

in to the thing. Pressure,

5:20

you need pressure and angle. You

5:22

need to do geometry and whatnot. Pyramid

5:25

swords deal? No, not quite

5:27

a pyramid, Ricky, but more like an arch.

5:29

You know how you see stone arch, just

5:31

the same premise. McDonald's arches? Sort

5:35

of. No.

5:39

More like the arch his mama gets

5:41

in her back. Okay. Getting

5:44

in the mama, Joseph. In the back or front? Whoa.

5:50

What? A little strong. No

5:52

head of bullets, man. All of a sudden. No. Just

5:56

misjudging the old fucking poor. Oh, your animals

5:58

are kicking in, are they? It's your

6:00

good diet. A guy after New

6:02

Year's diet decided to eat only

6:05

Costco hot dogs and soda.

6:07

What? What kind of fucking diet is that?

6:10

He ate 29 hot dog meals in a week. Jesus

6:13

Murphy. He says bowel

6:15

movements resemble Willy Wonka's Chocolate River.

6:21

We told him. What? He said that

6:23

in the interviews? Yeah. What

6:25

the fuck does that mean? Just like

6:27

it is obviously a thick liquidy... Oh,

6:30

he ate 29 hot dogs in how many days? 29

6:34

sodas. Seven days. In seven days.

6:36

So yeah, he's eaten four meals

6:39

a day. Four

6:41

meals a day, but it's always hot dogs. He never

6:43

got sick of them either, but he said his bowel

6:45

movements weren't great. He

6:48

also said he lost 4.2 pounds.

6:51

I'm like, wow. So

6:54

that's got a very romantic... Is that her? What's

6:57

the fucking name? Talk

7:00

to her. Hey, I'll call you back. Why

7:04

didn't you put her on speakerphone, man? That's just

7:06

not her. Oh, so

7:08

it is a dude. No, it's not. I'm

7:10

not saying I'm not confirming anything. Could

7:12

be anybody. I

7:15

can't even grow a mustache, man. What?

7:18

This fella. Can you

7:21

say it was a fella? I

7:23

just said I'm not confirming anything. And you

7:25

know what? The ringtone for dude is little...

7:29

I don't know, bubs. I'm pretty sure the individual had

7:31

breasts. Oh, well, look

7:34

at Randy. Oh,

7:36

yeah. Same deal. Yeah. It's

7:39

hairy. These were my... My

7:41

ringtone just doesn't signify anything. No,

7:44

the ringtone says everything, man. My

7:47

phone does a random ringtone every time.

7:50

Just happened to be... Call his phone. That

7:52

one. Do

7:55

you want me to call your phone? It's going

7:57

to be the same ringtone. I turn my ringer

7:59

off. The ringer's off now. Won't

8:02

hear it. So Costco hot dog guy said he

8:04

lost 4.2 pounds. I'm like, oh man,

8:06

I'm just going to start eating hot dogs at Costco.

8:10

But then he also said, well, I mean, I did walk

8:12

10 to 15 miles a day. Well,

8:15

that's a lot of walking. To walk

8:17

to Costco? I don't know, but 10

8:19

to 15 miles is fucking quite a

8:21

walk. A 15 mile walk

8:24

would take you. I

8:26

mean, that's going to take you six hours minimum.

8:28

I wonder if he lost 4.2 pounds. If

8:32

he didn't walk that much, he probably would have gained

8:34

100 pounds. OK,

8:36

so he was having messy shits and that's

8:38

the story. Just

8:41

to eat just hot dogs for weeks. Yeah,

8:43

but I can't. I mean, I'm kind of jealous. I don't

8:45

think I know. I don't think that's the thing. Wait, there

8:47

was a guy we read about today. Nothing

8:50

but Big Macs for like 25 years or something.

8:52

It was a documentary about him, wasn't it? Well,

8:54

a week's not that big a deal. Costco

8:57

hot dogs? You've done worse

8:59

than that on a bender. Yeah,

9:03

I've eaten shit like that. I eat pretty much a

9:05

hot dog a day in the summer. Yeah.

9:09

Throw them in the Barbecue. They're

9:11

nice. They're even bastards. They're very nasty. Did

9:14

you guys see this video of the fucking

9:16

10 foot aliens on an island off

9:18

of Brazil? It's

9:21

been confirmed. Is that it's true? No,

9:23

that it was fucking this

9:25

guy who played basketball. He's

9:28

out there fucking hanging out, doing some

9:30

sightseeing. They're like, whoa, look at that.

9:32

It's an alien. No, man, it's a

9:34

basketball player. No, they think,

9:37

no, he's like fucking seven foot something.

9:41

How can they continue to say, OK, I got 10 feet

9:43

tall over there in that cliff. It's kind of a dismount.

9:46

Yeah, dude was so fucking sightseeing, taking

9:48

pictures and shit. What the fuck was

9:50

he doing on this stranded island? Is

9:52

that what it's called? Deserted island. Well,

9:56

he's probably rich and they took a boat

9:58

out. Exactly. Fuck. So

10:00

there's an alien. I thought there was. Where's the video?

10:02

I want to see it. There is... Oh,

10:05

fuck. Don't tell me I gotta go look up the video. Did

10:08

you see the video? Just search 10-foot

10:10

aliens. Island. Brazil

10:12

or something? Yeah, man. I

10:15

want to see what he looks like. He's

10:17

tall. He fucking moves

10:20

weird. Does he? He moves like an

10:22

alien. He

10:24

was just fucked up on gummies or

10:26

something, man. Baked. Man,

10:29

you know a lot about this. What color is he? Is he

10:31

white or black? He

10:34

was fucking silver or something, man. Well,

10:36

that's a difference. Now that

10:38

makes things different. If he's silver... There was a

10:40

bit of... His name was

10:43

Filipe fucking Mata. He

10:45

said, that was me. Up in the hill. Okay. That

10:48

was me. Well, if he's silver, that's different. No,

10:50

it's just... Why is he silver?

10:52

I... Okay. Just from the video that I

10:54

saw... The sun was hitting this

10:57

fucker. He's tall. Maybe he had like a... I

10:59

would think it was alien if I saw somebody that

11:01

was tall and silver. Who

11:04

wouldn't? Okay,

11:09

all right. So you can't find it? I can

11:11

find the fucking thing. But the

11:13

video is so fucked. Okay. Close.

11:17

It's second. Oh my god. Well,

11:19

it's not my fault, man. Get

11:22

a fucking proper account. I'm

11:25

going to spend money to fucking eliminate... Eliminate...

11:28

Okay, there he is. What

11:34

the fuck are you? A great video, eh?

11:37

Watch this. Here he is. No.

11:42

I'm just going to end the one man. Just a

11:44

second. I ain't really fucking with him. Just a second.

11:47

One-headed boy. Look, look. That's

11:49

an alien. Oh, that's a fucking

11:51

human. Let me see it. Pass

11:53

it over. How

11:56

can you... How can you

11:58

say that motherfuckers can't be tall? Where

12:01

is he? He's right there. Look,

12:05

I wouldn't think that with an alien. No, that's not

12:07

the one I saw. People are out of control, man.

12:10

When I saw him as an alien. He's got

12:12

like a fucking dark jacket on. That's the one

12:14

in Miami. He doesn't look like an alien. He

12:17

just looks like a phallop walking along the hill.

12:19

People are on drugs that are watching it. I

12:21

saw one different night. See, look here. Look. See,

12:23

look. There he is again. Wow,

12:26

is he ever tall? You can't fucking tell how

12:28

tall he is, man. Half of him is behind

12:31

the bushes. How can you tell how long his legs

12:33

are? See, I saw a

12:35

better one than that. Rick,

12:37

he saw a different video altogether. Okay, right up

12:40

there. Look it. Yeah,

12:42

see him looking around. He's

12:44

got binoculars. Aliens wouldn't have binoculars.

12:46

Well, it's a special kind, man.

12:50

No, but aliens can just tune their eyes in.

12:54

They have built in. That's not the bionic fucking man.

12:57

They are. They are, man. How do you know they're using

12:59

that fucking fire? Did you ever see how big the fucking

13:01

eyes are? What do you think's in there? Multiple

13:04

lenses. See, look. Whoa.

13:07

That's not an alien. Fuck

13:09

off. Look. No. That doesn't look like an

13:12

alien. We'll have to put this clip up and

13:14

let the audience know. Look. Fuck

13:16

that. Look at that. That's

13:19

just a phallop. That's the buddy fucking

13:21

cruising around, baked out of his mind.

13:24

What's this goddamn jungle fucking party with some

13:26

aliens? Oh, I would love to. I

13:28

wish it was an alien, but I don't think that's...

13:30

Do aliens get stoned? Yeah, unless

13:32

they do. It depends on what type

13:34

you're talking about. Tall whites apparently can,

13:37

because they have, you

13:39

know, receptors. Well, you

13:41

know they're cruising around like Vegas,

13:43

getting wasted, man. Lungs or gills?

13:46

Both. I

13:49

think they have lills. Could a fish get high through

13:51

its gills, don't it? I

13:53

don't think they have the right receptors

13:55

for the smoke, Ricky. What about booze?

13:57

How would you get the smoke in them underwater,

13:59

anyhow? Anyway. You could bring

14:01

them out of the water temporarily, this roof. No,

14:04

they don't breed the same. They're gonna

14:06

be too panicked. Liquid smoke? Liquid

14:09

smoke, if you could, you know, make a liquid

14:11

smoke that you would use on the barbecue, but

14:13

put THC in it and then throw a fish

14:15

in there. What about that powder we're coming

14:17

out with? Yeah. Much in

14:19

a bucket, chuck the fish in. Yeah, there

14:21

we go. Waste it. We

14:24

should try that. Well, no, that could be called cruel

14:26

to your fish. Take it, no, but this is what

14:28

you're doing it for. You

14:30

let them get baked and swim around for a bit, take them out, cut

14:32

the head off, fry it up in the pan. Then you

14:35

got a stone fish, like a fishy buzz

14:37

on, like an edible. Wow, this is

14:39

getting really fucked. Seriously,

14:42

man. That would

14:45

be interesting. Do

14:48

fishy's look tough, do fish is funny. You

14:51

ordered it? I sorted it out for a second. I

14:53

did? That was

14:55

awesome. I don't know what happened

14:57

there. I had a little bit of a stroke, I

15:00

had a little stutter, didn't I? There

15:03

my arm rested. Look how fucking happy

15:05

this dude is. Those bagpipes. Oh. Kind

15:08

of reminds me of you, man. Those aren't, oh

15:10

yeah, they are bagpipes. You should play bagpipes. Fuck

15:14

yeah, man, you should get on that. I'll let you take

15:16

a honk on the pipe near my bag. So.

15:22

Honk honk. All right. Julie

15:25

and the duck honk honk. Where's

15:28

my handle on my cop? Didn't I have a

15:30

handle on this cop a minute ago? That was

15:32

my cop, I think. Buffs, here's

15:34

a question for you. Actually, for both of you guys. Six.

15:40

No, that's not gonna work. Midsir.

15:44

Would you guys date a 92

15:46

year old woman? I

15:50

need more details. Hoping to get

15:52

the pens to the third base or

15:54

something. Miney. Miney.

15:57

Well. You were gonna say, hoping to get money. Okay,

15:59

depends on what. It depends. She's 92. She's

16:02

92. So your leg. Definitely

16:09

you would. I know.

16:11

Definitely. Like, is she still

16:13

sound mind? Oh, fuck yeah.

16:15

How's she looking? Okay.

16:19

loves 92. Tell me. She

16:23

looks great. She looks beautiful. That's

16:26

a 92 year old lady right there. That is.

16:29

She's amazing looking. Yeah, but

16:31

does she really? Not all about looks, fellow Joe.

16:33

I was just going to say she's also super

16:35

cool. And she's done a

16:37

lot. You're like, you're thinking about this. I'm

16:40

just saying. It

16:43

would be hard to say no. You know

16:45

what I'm saying? She's single. I

16:48

think she could be. I'm

16:50

not. Wow. How did you

16:52

find out about this person? I don't know, man. She's such an old.

16:54

She used to be a model since she was 13, obviously.

16:59

She's New York. You want gelf.com

17:01

or something? No.

17:05

Okay. She wasn't a ferret. She had a tough life.

17:08

Divorced. You know, kid,

17:10

kids. Does she look like Lonnie Anderson

17:12

or is that just me? Oh

17:14

man. She looks like fucking. Let

17:17

me have a look. I can't look like a product. I don't get a

17:19

rehearsal. I need to go. No shit. She

17:22

looks like me. Cruella, Cruella de Val. Let's say it. She

17:25

doesn't really look like a dig. Day over 70. Maybe 65. Yeah.

17:35

I don't know. I think you'd

17:37

have a great time with her date. She knows what's going

17:40

on in life. Confident. You

17:42

think all the smart plumbing still works? Definitely.

17:48

Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm

17:51

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

17:55

She's 90. So

17:58

what year would she have been born now? I

18:00

don't fucking know man. Do the

18:02

math, Buzz. Definitely the 1900s. Well,

18:05

yes, Ricky. She

18:08

would have been born in the 1930s, wouldn't she? Yeah,

18:13

that would make sense. Kermit, man. She's a beautiful

18:15

lady. 1930s. She was

18:17

alive during the Depression. She

18:21

would have been a teenager during World War II.

18:24

Imagine that. Wow. She

18:26

could be your mother's mother. Yeah,

18:30

technically. Yeah, technically.

18:33

There's got to be some

18:35

negative things about it all,

18:37

no? No, man. Well, you don't

18:39

want to get too attached. Well,

18:43

it's just my growth. Wow, she doesn't. I mean,

18:45

she's... Whether, no matter what shape she's in, she's

18:47

not going to... I mean, she could say she

18:49

lived to be 110. You get 18 years out

18:52

of her. Still

18:55

walking pretty good. Sounds like the whole length of a good

18:57

kitty. She's calling you guys. It'd

18:59

be tough not to marry this lady if you

19:01

started dating her and you're like, she's cool because

19:03

bitches she is. Well, you should reach out to

19:05

her. I should tell her that

19:08

she has access to the fucking pumps. Access

19:11

to the pumps. Access

19:14

to the hydraulic arm pumps if she wants

19:16

them. I don't know. It'd

19:18

be a tough one. You're right, because it is a bit old. You

19:20

don't want to get too attached. That's what I'm saying. She might be

19:22

110. You get 18 years. She's

19:25

20. 20 years out of

19:27

her. That's like a good, long kitty relationship. Yeah.

19:29

Or she could die next week. Well,

19:33

so could anybody though. Mm-hmm. True enough. But she's

19:35

the oldest working fashion model out there right now.

19:37

I think you should reach out to this person.

19:39

You might be happier than

19:41

you've ever been. What

19:44

are much her net worth is? Oh, see, here

19:46

we go. No, but hey,

19:48

I'm just asking. Let's start digging

19:50

into her financials. I just

19:52

wanted to see how successful she is because she

19:54

looks like she's very successful, man. Where

19:57

does she live? Out of respect. New

19:59

York. Which is... It's only

20:01

a hop, skip, and a jump. I can't see you living

20:03

in New York, but... In a

20:06

penthouse? Fucking rights, man. In

20:08

a penthouse as a little boy toy for a 92-year-old.

20:10

So there is no fear of a little boy. Bring

20:12

it on. Little

20:15

boy toy for a 92-year-old

20:17

socialite. New York. It's

20:20

got good moves. What if she makes you sign a prenup?

20:24

We want prenup! Yeah, I believe... Yeah, whatever,

20:26

man. I don't want to talk about it.

20:28

All right, moving on. What

20:31

else do we got? Where did that

20:33

come from? Think you struck a nerve. I

20:35

don't know. I think he might already

20:38

reached out to her and didn't... I think I...

20:40

Did you reach out to her? He

20:43

did. Okay. You already... What's

20:45

your name? Carmen. Carmen.

20:50

Wow. That's you or something.

20:52

Yeah. It

20:55

would be a little weird going out there, like the

20:57

restaurants and stuff, people that you're with your mother or

20:59

your grandmother. Does

21:01

that look like my fucking mother, buddy? Like,

21:04

she's beautiful. Yeah. This

21:06

is what my mother looked like. What about that? I wouldn't give a

21:08

fuck either. His mother looked like a

21:11

half-chewed caramel. Yeah,

21:13

she wasn't very attractive. She looked like a

21:15

half-chewed caramel. My mother? Yeah. You

21:18

pulled fucking shit, man. She was a

21:20

good-looking lady. Half-chewed caramel.

21:22

Bullshit, man. Maybe

21:25

with your glasses off. I

21:27

got some random facts. Let's put it all up. Good, man. Oh,

21:30

yeah? Yeah. Let's go. I was only

21:32

going to save these for a rainy day. Okay. Well, I

21:34

got some more things to talk about. It's

21:37

not one. It's about women, though. Okay? I've got to move on

21:39

here. All right. Biggest

21:42

pr-... Boss on the fucking face

21:44

of the planet right here. This guy... You

21:47

know how when you have a company going, you've got

21:49

like these employees that are working for you for years

21:51

and years, you're like, the pay goes up. Supposed

21:54

to, yeah. You know what I'm saying? People

21:56

are making a lot, and they're all saying, holy

21:58

fuck. Could

22:00

probably replace these people so

22:02

instead of doing that But

22:04

he takes the whole company and moves it

22:07

from the city to a fucking remote mountain

22:10

where this like nothing and Almost

22:13

all the employees quit because they're like there's

22:16

nothing to do out here Oh, so he

22:18

moved the company owed to the fucking mountains So

22:21

that they would quit they would quit and

22:24

it worked and then he hired new people or

22:26

any hired new people I didn't get for that

22:28

much that fur into the story, but Yeah

22:33

Hmm you thinking you'd be out in the mountains by himself actually

22:38

That's riveting it's riveting. Yeah, that's good

22:40

piece. Hey, that's all I got guys

22:46

You know, there's no fucking mosquitoes in Iceland. Yep.

22:48

I might have to move there. All right

22:51

fucking eight mosquitoes All

22:54

right. No, I mean, especially when one gets around your

22:56

ear. I don't think that spiders my head when you're

22:58

laying in bed You

23:02

fucking smacking your ears and then your ears start

23:05

ringing that's half the problem

23:07

Ricky you smack yourself too

23:09

hard Because I

23:11

want to just fucking I want them to evaporate when

23:13

they get hit by me Hmm

23:18

Do you know that more people have been killed

23:20

by cows other than sharks What

23:25

more people have been killed by cows and sharks

23:27

how Fucking

23:29

ferocious many trampled them or eat

23:31

them back up in them fall

23:34

over on them then sharks Poisonous

23:37

well, I guess people don't come in contact with

23:39

sharks as much as cows, but how does a

23:41

cow kill a person? All

23:44

the above we just said cows

23:46

don't fucking clawed They

23:50

can walk up they run they don't fucking

23:53

stop that fast so if they're running at

23:55

you the rent was It's

23:59

not a cat A bull. Anyway,

24:02

I don't think, I don't know how that could,

24:05

oh, I bet you they're talking about with their

24:07

farts. They're using

24:09

the fact of methane. That kills people?

24:11

I don't know. That would be

24:13

quite a power. It's a fart that

24:15

kills someone. That's quite a

24:17

bit of power. Although I've had some

24:20

gas sometimes that probably would have killed people. An

24:23

old person that was clinging to life wouldn't have made

24:26

it through some of those. Oh,

24:28

this is my favorite one, I think. The

24:31

male orb weaver spider has

24:34

a detachable penis. What

24:39

does he do with it? Just leaves it

24:41

at home while he goes jawling? What the

24:44

fuck does he? What is he

24:46

detaching? I'm just going to take this off and throw it up

24:48

in the web for a few minutes. I'm

24:51

going to go, no, because if he's getting busy

24:53

he can just leave it there doing its thing

24:55

and then he can go take care of his

24:57

paperwork, come back and finish. No, man, if he's

25:00

getting busy with it, it's got to be attached

25:02

to him. I don't think it

25:04

does if it's detachable. So

25:07

another spider is going to be taking this thing going, oh, they're

25:10

going to know what to do with it. No, because if

25:13

he's from behind, she's not even going to know he

25:15

left. Do

25:17

they switch pieces with each other just to try

25:19

different ones, I wonder? Yeah,

25:21

he's going to take a piss, but his

25:23

unit's back inside of Mrs. Well,

25:26

then he's just going to piss out

25:28

his fucking, the hole. The hole.

25:31

If our units were detachable, would you guys swap it out?

25:34

Oh, I have mine off all the time. Would

25:36

you swap it around with anybody else? Try different

25:38

ones? You can take it off to polish it,

25:40

you know? That's a good question. What happens if

25:42

there's like a bunch of these spiders and there's

25:44

like detached dicks everywhere? You

25:46

don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, all of

25:49

a sudden you get it. Oh, no, mine was

25:51

bigger than this. Everyone wearing the same shoes. The

25:53

fucking Ronnie. Fuck. I got

25:55

Ronnie big nuts nuts here. My

25:58

wiener was much bigger. than this an

26:00

hour ago. You know someone, one

26:02

of the spires would be taking the biggest one. Absolutely.

26:06

Why wouldn't he? I don't know

26:09

what he's doing. Attached, but I mean would it be, I

26:11

guess it's for polishing too, but

26:13

I don't understand the whole plumbing thing.

26:16

Yeah, like how's the attach and detach? How do

26:18

they know? Quick lock.

26:21

I mean you've got quite a bit of fucking, you've got a

26:23

quick lock of some sort, it would have to. Yeah,

26:25

but all... Yeah, but all... And

26:28

then like a little button when it releases, man. Probably

26:30

a release button, I would think.

26:33

It's a lot of fucking weird. We've

26:35

got to, we need to talk to an expert. Yeah,

26:39

you've got to find out how they do it. Could

26:41

you... There's got to be video.

26:44

Could you install the same sort of

26:46

mounting system on yourself? Imagine the person

26:48

that discovered it to be what, watching

26:50

Spider under a microscope or... Fucking

26:53

these took a deep thought. Yeah,

26:56

I don't know how they discovered that. You'd

26:58

have to be, definitely have to be studying

27:00

spidercocks to know. And then someone would be

27:02

like, no, there's no way. Yeah, come here,

27:05

I'll show you. What? Then

27:08

he put it back on. Here's another, what

27:10

does, here's a question. What does a spidercock

27:12

look like? Ah, Spiderman.

27:14

Well, how are you like looking at it

27:16

saying, that's his cock? You beat off Spiderman,

27:18

you tell me. Well, they

27:21

must have seen it get put into a female at

27:23

some point, I guess, not telling you.

27:26

Yeah, they would know what it is, or once he starts

27:28

drilling it, you know, drilling

27:30

it into other spiders. I

27:33

don't know, okay, we figured out what that part, that

27:35

is not his leg. Well,

27:38

I mean, it could be. Wonderful. Yeah,

27:41

despite his pastime. They

27:43

got it, man. They got way too many eggs not to.

27:46

They could be fucking... I'd imagine them getting new eggs on it at

27:49

once. Multitasking. It

27:52

could be like wrapping up a fucking moth with some silk. You

27:55

think he's going to do it with all eight legs at once?

27:57

Yeah, you think he'd probably try at some point.

28:00

That's fine, that would be possible. So

28:02

clearly you've tried both hands. Yes.

28:06

You got seven? That's weird. That's

28:09

called the pepper grinder. That

28:12

move's called the pepper grinder, eh? The

28:15

feet? No,

28:17

the two hands, you know. Oh, good.

28:22

Well, I'm just grinding pepper into your drink. Look,

28:24

I'm grinding over there, man. Pepper

28:28

grinder. Let's see who got born on the 19th. Edgar

28:31

Allan Poe. We can

28:34

read some poems. Not

28:36

today, keep going. Nicholas,

28:39

it was played coach on Cheers. He

28:41

was a good guy. Oh, I

28:43

like coach. Yeah, he was a good drinker.

28:45

He was a good, well, he was good

28:47

actor, that's what he was. He played one

28:49

of the best dumb guys. And I was

28:52

Lee Stanley III, American audio engineer and LSD

28:54

cook who worked for the Grateful Dead. Fuck,

28:57

I like to admit that guy. Yes,

29:00

sir, LSD cook. Phil

29:02

Everly from the Everly

29:05

Brothers. Everly Brothers, yeah. Love the Everly

29:07

Brothers. Wake up little Susie. Wake

29:10

up little Susie, wake up.

29:12

Back, back, back, back. Janice

29:14

Joplin, me and Bobby McGee.

29:17

Yeah. Yeah. Janice. Don't

29:20

be fucking pert and get born. Chole

29:22

fucking Lean. Have you seen her? She's

29:25

amazing. She's actually speaking of you wanting to deal

29:27

with women, but I totally want to throw her

29:29

on the list. All he is looking at is

29:31

he's incredible, man. What a lady. Erica's

29:37

favorite, man. Roderick Rod Evans,

29:39

founding member of Deep Purple. Why don't

29:41

we crank some music tonight? Yeah. Robert

29:43

Palmer. Robert Palmer. He's

29:46

simply irresistible. He

29:48

is simply irresistible. He made some nice

29:50

music videos too. Izzy

29:52

Hernandez. That's Yernis.

29:56

Katie Seagal. Seagal, I loved her. Steven

29:59

Seagal. No, no, she's unmarried with

30:01

children. She was the

30:04

son's mannequin. She's

30:06

fucking great. Mm. Yeah,

30:09

that's about it. Okay.

30:11

Who shut themselves? Not me,

30:13

but I need to. Not

30:16

me, but I need to. All right.

30:18

You go do your business. Let's go do

30:20

something. I'm gonna refill the

30:22

popcorn box. Thank you, man. I'm starving.

30:24

Are we giving her again tonight or

30:26

are we trying to chill out? What

30:28

are you fucking... No, we're out. He's

30:30

got one going in. I know, but

30:32

it's semi-dry January... Friday nights are my

30:34

four-fighty, and if that's all right, I'll

30:36

write, I'll write. I

30:39

thought semi-dry January would be harder than it is.

30:41

Semi-dry. Well, we haven't been

30:43

drinking Monday Tuesdays. Well...

30:45

Yes, you have. Okay. Not much. Not

30:47

all of them. Not much. The exact

30:49

same amount. That

30:52

you always do. Well, it could be way crazier.

30:55

All right. On Tuesday, we were gonna... We

30:57

said, let's have one more drink, and then we said, you know

31:00

what? Maybe we won't. We didn't.

31:02

Turn into another court. All right. All right. We're in

31:04

Compton. Cheers, everybody. Cheers,

31:06

motherfuckers. Happy semi-dry January.

31:08

Won't bet straighten you well. Thank

31:27

you. Thank

31:57

you.