0:02

Recording in progress.

0:02

Okay

0:13

sorry I'm not laughing

0:13

at you. I'm just laughing

0:19

Yeah, no, I, I am so

0:19

out of practice in my vocal

0:23

training. Yeah. You know, so I'm

0:23

working on it. And I can help

0:28

you with this right here. So I'm

0:28

trying to keep this going.

0:30

Whatever you need right now. So,

0:30

hello. Yeah, thank you. Thank

0:34

you. It's Once it clicks, it's

0:34

great. But it's hard to get into

0:40

click so vocal training fun. Hello,

0:42

everybody, welcome to

0:47

transcending humanity. This is

0:47

episode 27. I think last week

0:53

was just a little short one or

0:53

something, but I still counted

0:56

as an episode. I'm Vanessa, I am

0:56

joined by Rachel, you know, as

1:01

both from previous episodes of

1:01

the show, I would imagine.

1:06

I hope so.

1:07

I would hope so, too.

1:07

Yeah. I mean, otherwise, go back

1:09

and listen to that shit. You

1:09

know? What are you doing here?

1:13

You still have 26 episodes to

1:13

catch up on which I know is a

1:16

tall ask. You can watch it on

1:16

YouTube. You know, we have a

1:19

YouTube channel. You can see our

1:19

smiling faces. Unless you're

1:21

watching this on YouTube right

1:21

now. Then, did you know that we

1:24

have a podcast those so quick

1:24

news on the show. I am changing

1:34

the format a little bit again.

1:34

We're going to be doing it as bi

1:39

weekly. That's what Yeah, every

1:39

two every two weeks bi weekly.

1:44

We recording every two weeks

1:44

instead of every week because

1:47

honestly, I think most of us are

1:47

getting burnt out. And yeah, so

1:52

my once I find the job, I think

1:52

I'll be less burnt out but fuck

1:55

this shit. It's getting old. So

1:55

yeah, we're gonna be doing that.

2:00

If you'd like to show please

2:00

support us on Patreon you can

2:02

support us on Patreon or through

2:02

but spread both are accessible

2:05

through our website transcending

2:05

humanity.com For the price less

2:10

than the price of a Starbucks

2:10

coffee because my Starbucks

2:13

copies cost $6.15 And so if you

2:13

can chip in shipping buckets and

2:19

like a politician, which I can send

2:21

you money you're running for office,

2:23

I know.

2:24

I don't want to be I don't want to that's okay, because I am also an elected

2:26

official. And these are the

2:30

faces that we need in politics

2:30

and that's not what we're

2:34

talking about today but also in

2:34

the United States Election Day

2:38

is coming up so please vote it's

2:38

a big deal.

2:42

Blue Yeah, don't don't

2:42

don't vote for the fascist

2:47

please but I'm pretty much

2:47

guessing that the people that

2:51

vote for fascists aren't

2:51

listening to the show because we

2:53

are pretty liberal around here.

2:53

But you know, who knows? Or

2:59

maybe

2:59

the people that listen

2:59

to this show are willing to have

3:02

a nuanced discussion about how

3:02

sometimes the left also isn't

3:09

great for no people and we can

3:09

talk about that and not have

3:14

people absolutely 100% lose

3:14

their minds

3:17

Yeah, my opinion both

3:17

sides suck in their own special

3:21

ways so that's what I mean I'm

3:21

running as a Democrat I'd rather

3:25

not run this Democrat but and

3:25

just playing by the rules

3:27

because I can take the

3:27

Democratic Party's money when I

3:30

run so rather than going to a

3:30

big deal it is right now they're

3:34

not at the time of day but big

3:34

fucking surprise but once I get

3:37

on the news, then they'll pick me

3:39

up all right, or when

3:39

you get past the primary well I

3:44

haven't had now I'm self owning.

3:44

I haven't actually listened to

3:47

the episode yet. Do you have a

3:47

primary Yeah,

3:49

we do it earlier than

3:49

usual because the presidential

3:54

primaries so it's in March so I

3:54

have to have all my signatures

3:58

in by December 20 to get on the

3:58

ballot mess Yeah, so I'm hoping

4:05

to do that met like 24 right now

4:05

which really isn't too bad for

4:08

red s area here because I can't

4:08

go door to door knocking I'll

4:11

get shot. But no one wants to be

4:11

training on their doorstep

4:14

around here. So well, maybe

4:14

somebody does, but I forget

4:21

where it was. Oh yeah. Donate to

4:21

the show, please. Five bucks a

4:23

month. Yeah 10 bucks a month

4:23

whatever. If you donate through

4:26

Buzzsprout then it actually gets

4:26

taken off of our Buzzsprout

4:29

invoice which is kind of nice

4:29

and then anything left over we

4:32

get and then Patreon you know I

4:32

just withdrawal but yeah, I I

4:38

love doing the show but making so little money. It's a

4:40

strain so anything can help. I

4:44

would love it. So, Rachel, what's been going on

4:47

with you anything fine?

4:53

Um, gosh, I wish I could

4:53

say yes.

5:01

Yeah, I was about to say Hanson

5:01

Family has been on the struggle

5:03

bus a little bit lately, but

5:03

really the struggle is the the

5:08

lack of a bus.

5:12

So we're very fortunate to be

5:12

until several weeks ago to have

5:16

been a two car family. And now

5:16

we're a one car family because

5:23

the transmission is pooping out

5:23

on one of our vehicles.

5:29

That's expensive.

5:31

Yeah. And that's been a

5:31

journey, right? We were

5:35

originally quoted 12k to fix it.

5:40

Car? Well,

5:42

I was kind of what we

5:42

thought about it, we weren't

5:46

okay. Like if we're financing

5:46

either way. Like, what does it

5:52

look like to finance something

5:52

new? or new to us?

5:58

You can finance $1,000

5:58

car, you know,

6:02

well, in our area, a

6:02

12,000 car would we will be

6:08

buying the exact same problems

6:08

that we'd be trying to church.

6:14

Um, I mean, yeah, there's three

6:14

kids in the family. So we can't

6:17

just buy a tiny car. And they

6:17

very generously negotiated it

6:25

down to $9,000. Which might as

6:25

well still be a million.

6:30

Yeah. But where'd that

6:30

$3,000? Go? They were just

6:33

trying to rip you off that apparently,

6:35

it has something to do

6:35

with the warranty on the

6:39

transmission. Um, so we still

6:39

were like, I guess no, thanks.

6:46

We found another place to do it

6:46

for 4000. That's still a lot.

6:52

But

6:53

that's more in line with what you would expect for transmission repair that right.

6:57

And it's also a tax

6:57

return. So yeah. So like, if it

7:04

really comes down to it? Well,

7:04

we'll just wait till February.

7:08

And we'll have two cars again.

7:08

Right, Gary? Yeah. We're all

7:13

paying taxes here. Or we're

7:13

trying

7:17

to pay taxes. Poor folk

7:17

pay taxes.

7:21

Right. Um, so that's

7:21

been, it's been an adventure.

7:33

So not fun, but a lot happening.

7:38

Yeah, like, you have to

7:38

like schedule time with the car.

7:43

That's me

7:43

pretty much, right? Like

7:43

this is? Right. It really does

7:47

feel like being a teenager,

7:47

right? Where you're like, Come

7:49

on, Dad, can I use the car? Only

7:49

Right? Like, where the parents

7:56

are going? Hey, so what are you

7:56

in the office this week? When

8:00

are you in the office this week?

8:00

Or are we going to have to

8:04

reschedule meetings because

8:04

we've only got the one.

8:09

And then, like, if

8:09

there's an emergency or

8:12

something, you know, I mean,

8:12

people used to only have one car

8:16

per family, but times were a lot

8:16

slower than you know. So I think

8:21

right now, it's really everybody

8:21

has to have their own vehicular

8:26

thing.

8:27

Well, I mean, going back

8:27

to the money if employers wanted

8:33

to pay a living wage for a

8:33

family to just live on one

8:37

income. Um I love my job. I love

8:37

what I do. But I would also very

8:46

gladly trade that all in until

8:46

the kids are older be a stay at

8:53

home mom. So we wouldn't have to

8:53

juggle with all the logistics

8:57

and the childcare and the

8:58

childcare is it's it's

8:58

intense. It's I just have the

9:03

one out of the holly people's

9:03

multiples, do it. I mean, are

9:06

you just that crazy now? Is it

9:06

baked in?

9:10

I'm just bananas. Yeah.

9:13

I don't get it. Um,

9:18

yeah, well, it'd been in

9:18

some ways. And this is I think,

9:21

where the role, right kind of

9:21

losing your Marvel stuff comes

9:25

in. In some ways. I'm very

9:25

grateful for the pandemic.

9:29

Because pre pandemic there was

9:29

no like, Oh, you're having a

9:33

hard time finding childcare?

9:33

Well, that's too bad. You can't

9:37

work from home with your kids at

9:37

home. Yeah, everybody knows you

9:40

can't do your job. Well, turns

9:40

out that you totally can do

9:46

that.

9:48

Yeah. But there are

9:48

very few office jobs that can't

9:52

be done from home. So

9:53

right and then also,

9:53

like, are you actually nose to

9:58

the grindstone for eight hours a

9:58

day? I know you can stop and you

10:01

can get a snack. Or you can read

10:01

a story or change the cartoon.

10:08

It's just the work is still

10:08

gonna happen. Yeah, she's gonna

10:11

get done. It's just

10:12

like working in the office. I mean, half the time people are just shooting the

10:13

shit. So it's no,

10:17

she's what I'm doing.

10:17

Yeah, most of the time in the

10:20

office.

10:21

And you know that the

10:21

whole, you know, eight hour

10:24

workday five days a week. It's I

10:24

mean, from what I understand

10:28

it's been proven that BBs so

10:28

because there's certain chunks

10:34

of the day that people just

10:34

don't get anything done, you

10:36

know. So whatever, right? I'm

10:36

not a, I'm not an expert in

10:41

that. Perhaps I should be. I

10:41

don't know. Maybe that's another

10:45

platform, I can find that. Good

10:45

luck getting that through. And

10:48

Ohio.

10:49

might be right for day,

10:49

four day workweek

10:53

would be nice. I'm gonna we're gonna piss off the Conservatives with my subsidized

10:55

childcare platform. But

11:00

whatever. Else, any good news,

11:00

anything that has you excited.

11:07

So I do have one

11:07

exciting thing. And I forgot. So

11:11

thank you for asking. I'm, like

11:11

think I've talked on the show

11:15

before about this magazine that

11:15

I'm starting. And we launched on

11:19

October 1. So that's been really

11:19

so it's a magazine about women

11:27

in podcasting. Theater featuring

11:27

and I said this is important,

11:36

featuring women, right, because

11:36

it's true everywhere. But in

11:41

podcasting, right. There's,

11:41

there's a lot of guys are,

11:46

there's a lot of guys. And when

11:46

people talk about like wishing

11:53

that there was more diversity. I

11:53

mean, it just gender diversity,

11:57

right? Like, yeah, hi, Cassidy.

11:57

Right? There's a bunch of women,

12:00

right? Like, the ones in this

12:00

Zoom Room are like, hey, hey,

12:05

guys, like you're here. Like,

12:05

we, it turns out that we kind of

12:11

are amazing at this. And if

12:11

you're not going to future us,

12:15

well, then we're gonna future

12:15

ourselves. Exactly. So

12:22

have you lined up

12:22

Lauren Lapkus yet, because she's

12:24

like, she's the queen. I'll have

12:24

celebrity podcast guests. So you

12:33

have to get more than that.

12:33

Because onboard somehow.

12:36

Yeah, that would. She's

12:36

just

12:39

like, she gets on all the podcasts I listened to, like, luck. Yes. Hi. So.

12:43

So this is confusing.

12:43

This has thrown a lot of people

12:46

off. Because it's not a podcast.

12:46

It's a magazine about

12:51

podcasting. So yeah, she my, to

12:51

ask her to write an article.

12:58

You should, because I

12:58

mean, she. She's like co host of

13:02

a lot of podcasts as well, but

13:02

she's on tons of them. So her

13:05

experiences with podcasting has

13:05

been pretty interesting for that

13:08

for an article or an interview

13:08

or something. So I have no idea

13:11

how to get a hold of her. But,

13:11

you know, who knows? But yeah,

13:16

I think having been in

13:16

podcasting for a while. I've

13:20

gotten pretty good at creating

13:20

people and figuring out how to

13:25

email them so

13:27

I can imagine that's

13:27

how you get that's how you get

13:29

your interviews. So bypass the

13:29

agents and producers and all

13:34

that stuff. Yeah. are trying to

13:34

Yeah, I've tried to some are

13:38

pretty well locked down. But

13:38

yeah. slushy is melting. Just

13:43

stir it up, if you're wondering

13:43

what I'm doing over here. So I

13:51

got rid of by hate group on

13:51

Facebook last night. That was

13:54

really, yeah, that is

13:54

exciting.

13:58

It's like, oh, for me,

13:58

it's good practice for when I

14:00

run for office, too. So but I

14:00

mean, for the most part, they're

14:03

just not creative. It's like,

14:05

Dude, your bro bro.

14:05

Dude, dude. Hey, dude. Hey, bro.

14:09

Hey, brah Hey, bro, dude.

14:11

Like now? But, yeah,

14:11

yeah. And it was like, I had to

14:19

report some of them for like for

14:19

threats. You know, a lot of them

14:22

are telling me to analyze

14:22

myself. And there was some

14:28

surprisingly creative names.

14:28

Which I kinda have to give props

14:32

for.

14:34

Creativity, but also, I

14:34

get a points for for being

14:38

violence. Yeah.

14:41

But like, for the most

14:41

part, it's just like, you know,

14:43

you're a man that I've edited.

14:43

It's like, whatever it's like,

14:47

this is the same regurgitated

14:47

stuff you hear over and over

14:49

again. It's just more annoying

14:49

than anything because that just

14:51

says go through and block so

14:51

many people. So and I think I

14:56

wound up taking down a couple

14:56

posts, just because it's like,

14:59

no I'm not worth it, but people

14:59

have way too much fucking time

15:03

on their hands, you know? And

15:03

they're a lot of the LGB without

15:08

the T. Crowd on there. And

15:08

because the posting question was

15:16

I recently joined her dating

15:16

again, which is it's like a

15:21

lesbian queer dating app. And I

15:21

just posted saying, there's a

15:25

lot of sis it like. Yeah, and

15:25

that's how it got captured by an

15:32

age group like, well,

15:33

your dude, you know?

15:37

My tits and Posey say

15:37

otherwise. So?

15:41

Yeah, right. Your brain

15:41

also?

15:47

It's, but even like

15:49

pre surgery, right? Like even

15:50

pre surgery. But I

15:50

mean, when people are that far

15:54

gone, the chances are the odds

15:54

of actually swaying them. Just

16:03

non existent, really, I mean,

16:03

some people, when I went and saw

16:07

Father Nathan, monk in person a

16:07

few weeks ago, he actually tries

16:11

to sway people in these cities

16:11

has like, a 14% success rate or

16:15

something like that. But I just

16:15

I don't, I don't feed the

16:20

trolls. And that's one thing I'm

16:20

going to do on my campaign is

16:24

because I know I'm going to get

16:24

them I just asked my followers

16:26

just don't even respond to them.

16:26

Because all it's going to do is

16:30

upset you and empower them. But

16:30

holy shit, did they come

16:36

fastened in droves? It was, it

16:36

was like, Whoa, this is

16:40

happening. But then there's

16:40

another Facebook page that is

16:44

dedicated to find people finding

16:44

people like me, whose posts have

16:47

been shared and face in hit

16:47

groups on Facebook. And checking

16:52

to let you know, Hey, your post

16:52

has been shared in a hate group,

16:55

you might want to change your

16:55

privacy settings or take it

16:57

down. So right on Oh, that

16:57

person is because it was nice.

17:04

Okay, I

17:05

would my brain was going

17:05

the other way. So oh, you added

17:08

the it was nice.

17:10

No, no. It's just

17:10

someone just being a good human.

17:15

So because I didn't know what

17:15

group it had been shared to. So

17:17

then I looked at the posts and I

17:17

saw that been shared 12 times.

17:20

I'm like, Ah, shit. Okay, I'm

17:20

just locking this down. But

17:23

yeah, it was. It'll really piss.

17:23

If any of those people who are

17:28

listening to this right now.

17:28

It'll really piss you off to

17:32

know that when I was deleting

17:32

and blocking, reporting, I was

17:35

doing it well dilating. And

17:35

dilating is where I'm putting my

17:38

thing inside my in my thing, so

17:38

a lot of them were talking about

17:43

like, post-op like magnets and

17:43

stuff coming out from down

17:47

there. Like there's multiple

17:47

ways you can get that in the

17:51

past days. Mine was the Phenom

17:51

version. There's another one

17:54

where the east part of the colon

17:54

so I can actually self

17:56

lubricate. That's not the kind I

17:56

got. Apparently, they're

17:58

dangerous, but like, there must

17:58

be some rumors, something or

18:02

someone had maggots coming out

18:02

of them or something because

18:05

like a good chunk of the

18:05

comments were like, talking

18:07

about maggots and memes about

18:07

maggots and stuff and like, you

18:10

know, these people okay. Yeah,

18:10

so yeah, so if you my advice for

18:20

anybody listening, if you see

18:20

yourself suddenly getting

18:27

getting hate bombed on social

18:27

media, you can just change the

18:32

privacy and your posts to to

18:32

friends only and that'll wipe it

18:37

out. But or if you just don't

18:37

even want to look at it. Just

18:41

delete it. That's what I wanted

18:41

to do. And there were so many. I

18:44

probably blocked 150 people. So

18:44

now I'm dying. I just deleted

18:50

the post. They're still on

18:50

Instagram, but Facebook's

18:53

cesspool I have scum and

18:53

villainy. So. So yeah, that's

19:01

me. But,

19:05

but it's also kind of a

19:05

nice segue into our topic

19:10

tonight.

19:10

Exactly. Thank you,

19:10

Rachel.

19:14

It's what have you ever

19:14

because what we had discussed

19:20

talking about was how language

19:20

and like the language that we

19:26

natively speak influences our

19:26

perceptions of gender. Um and

19:35

right like when you're talking

19:35

about right like all these guys

19:39

are these guys who apparently

19:39

have nothing better to do with

19:43

their time then be jerks to

19:43

people on the internet.

19:48

Guys and girls, here's a mix up.

19:52

It's perfectly actually

19:52

I appreciate knowing that

19:54

because right like English

19:54

language that we're all speaking

19:58

right now. It's All male

19:58

centric, right male is the

20:02

default that we get really

20:02

freaked out collectively. When

20:11

that notion of male first gets

20:11

challenged, yeah. But it's

20:19

because like, in English, it's

20:19

not so much that we have, right

20:25

like nouns and verbs that are

20:25

masculine or feminine, like

20:29

Spanish or French or a lot of

20:29

other Latin languages. But male

20:35

is the default. Right? That even

20:35

for words that are not gender,

20:42

like Doctor, for example,

20:42

automatically think male. Right?

20:46

Exactly.

20:47

I've trained my brain

20:47

to think female, but that's

20:49

tough training. So right, like,

20:51

it's hard. It's hard

20:51

work. It is making

20:55

it teacher you think

20:55

woman?

21:00

Right. But Professor,

21:00

now it's a guy.

21:04

Yeah, yeah. Nurse

21:04

women. Mm hmm.

21:09

Um, but Right, like none

21:09

of those words, inherently

21:14

representative gender, but we

21:14

have been so steeped in this

21:19

social idea that how we think

21:19

about gender is like, it's just

21:27

as so influenced by it. And

21:27

people don't like to be

21:34

challenged. And like, in the

21:34

United States, our whole public

21:41

school system is basically set

21:41

up to in most cases, right to

21:48

avoid critical thinking. Yeah.

21:48

So a lot of people aren't going

21:57

oh, wait, what? Why do I think

21:57

of a meal when I think doctor?

22:09

Like, even a question is basic

22:09

as that is not one that is

22:12

encouraged to be asked No. Oh,

22:12

yeah, I haven't present.

22:21

Although I will. This is always

22:21

kind of like my go to The Kids

22:28

Are All Right, story. And it's a

22:28

little old now. But I want to

22:36

say like 10 or so years ago, I

22:36

was a tutor for a college

22:43

readiness program for

22:43

Minneapolis public schools. And

22:47

I would always do some kind of

22:47

like a riddle to more of a

22:51

brains before we'd start with

22:51

the tutoring. And there was a

22:57

riddle I did once. That No, I'm

22:57

going to bomb it, because I

23:03

haven't told the riddle as such.

23:03

But it was something like a kid

23:11

was in a, some kind of an

23:11

accident. And his father took

23:15

him to the hospital. child

23:15

needed surgery. And the surgeon

23:20

said, I can't operate on this

23:20

child. He's my son. Like, so

23:26

what's the deal here? And like,

23:26

right away, the kids were like,

23:29

well, obviously, either this kid

23:29

has two dads or his mom is a

23:34

surgeon. And I was like, I was

23:34

expecting this to be more of a

23:41

discussion, but they were

23:41

already know,

23:45

their little sixth

23:45

graders so far ahead of us.

23:50

I mean, these guys are

23:50

all now. All right, if you're in

23:53

sixth grade, right there in

23:53

their early 20s Now, isn't that

23:57

crazy? Right? Just freaks me

23:57

out.

24:01

I worked at an online

24:01

charter school from 2005 to

24:05

2006. With seventh graders, and

24:05

I mean, those kids are all

24:13

adults now probably have kids of

24:13

their own that could be in

24:15

seventh grade. It's like blows

24:15

my mind anyway. Sorry.

24:20

Yeah, no, that's but um

24:20

so I think that we may be, it

24:26

doesn't feel like it right. Like

24:26

when you go on to Facebook or

24:29

whatever. But maybe this is just

24:29

because I live near Minneapolis.

24:38

But I hope I see Minneapolis as

24:38

being like, look at all the

24:43

terrible things that are

24:43

happening in Minneapolis and

24:45

like, everybody there is

24:45

obviously awful. The police

24:51

maybe are awful, but the

24:51

Minneapolis people are okay.

24:58

Right? Like because I Now going

24:58

off on police, the people who

25:04

serve on the police force in

25:04

Minneapolis don't live in

25:09

Minneapolis for the most part,

25:09

suburbs. So the people that live

25:18

there, they're awesome.

25:22

They're just cold.

25:25

Yeah. Um, so I feel

25:25

like, right, like if these young

25:30

people, now adults, right, and

25:30

as sixth graders are growing,

25:35

but yeah, what's the big deal?

25:35

The kid either has two dads.

25:38

First one is a surgeon. This

25:38

isn't a riddle at all. Right,

25:44

like, I would hope that we'll

25:44

start to see some, a few

25:47

changes. But sorry, go ahead.

25:51

No, I'm just I think we

25:51

won't go ahead.

25:56

Um, but I think that we

25:56

still kind of need to work to

26:03

create this culture of safety to

26:03

be asking these kinds of

26:07

questions. Right? Because we are

26:07

so steeped in it as English

26:16

speakers. Right? Like, we might

26:16

not say that a cup of coffee as

26:26

masculine or feminine as they

26:26

would in French? Sure. But that

26:32

doesn't mean that we're not

26:32

assigning gender to things in a

26:38

way that makes no sense. And

26:38

that doesn't influence her and

26:42

how we perceive people to

26:42

perform. To do the performative

26:47

aspect of gender identity.

26:50

Yeah, like, why do so

26:50

many people call like, vehicles,

26:54

girls, you know, so?

26:57

Well, right? Or you said

26:57

vehicles and I immediately

27:02

thought cars, but it really spoke.

27:06

So she's a good old

27:06

girl, you know, but Right, I

27:12

don't know, I, or, or baby.

27:16

That was one. Um, I

27:16

remember being deeply confused

27:24

by that as a kid. There was like

27:24

a mechanic next to the public

27:29

library in the city. One of the

27:29

cities I grew up in. So my mom

27:35

would take us to the library and

27:35

be like, are they in the window

27:40

or something like, take good

27:40

care of your baby? And I'm like,

27:44

That is super, obviously a

27:44

mechanic. So Mom, what are they

27:48

talking about? And she went, Oh,

27:48

well, some people call her cars,

27:53

their babies, and they take care

27:53

of them like babies. And I was

27:56

like, well, that's weird and

27:56

stupid. Guilty. Well, now I

28:08

don't think there's anything

28:08

exactly wrong with it. Except

28:11

that then we also refer to them

28:11

as women. And then we call

28:17

windows and a lot. And right and

28:17

but so that we're not treating

28:22

women like, competent adults.

28:22

Because woman and baby are,

28:28

like, right there together

28:28

visually in our brains. Yeah.

28:33

Yeah. So let's just, I'm just

28:33

ranting now, but like, there's

28:37

so much work to do, because the

28:37

language that we use is just so

28:46

much in us that it's hard to

28:46

decouple all of that out.

28:51

It's so big then it's

28:51

like, yeah, there's so many

28:54

things that are left that are

28:54

baked in like like something you

29:01

find anyone that's read the

29:01

white women, but racism is so

29:10

deeply baked in to white people.

29:10

And we don't most of us don't

29:15

even realize it. It's to the

29:15

point where I'm confident and

29:19

saying, if you're white, you're

29:19

racist, whether you know it or

29:22

not. I have so much in me that's

29:22

just been baked in. And I

29:27

there's so many different things. There's there's tendering there's race, there's

29:29

all these different things that

29:31

are just, they're just trained

29:31

into us. And I mean, there's no

29:37

like, one particular time that

29:37

like, you can look back and say,

29:41

Oh, this is when I started

29:41

thinking this way. It's just

29:44

there, you know, because we're

29:44

surrounded by it. And it's, it's

29:51

a very odd part of humanity, I

29:51

suppose.

29:56

Yeah. But one and so

29:56

this harder How will I think be

30:01

in the show notes. But one thing

30:01

that I thought was also kind of

30:07

an interesting thought exercise

30:07

for me. As this, this article

30:13

very specifically mentioned that

30:13

one language spoken by a lot of

30:18

people globally that has no

30:18

gender baked into it is Mandarin

30:23

Chinese really? And because it's

30:23

first I was thinking, like, is

30:29

there a difference between how

30:29

people are treated? Right, like

30:33

in their societies based on the

30:33

gender language? And so then I

30:40

started, like really thinking

30:40

about, right, like the People's

30:43

Republic of China, how are they

30:43

treating people? Well,

30:49

generally, maybe not awesome.

30:49

Yeah. But kind of everybody is

30:58

being treated equally terrible.

31:02

I mean, that sounds about right, you know,

31:04

right. Like, and that's

31:04

maybe a pretty bold claim to

31:08

make. But that, to me, was kind

31:08

of an interesting thought

31:11

exercise, right? Like how, like,

31:11

what does that look like

31:17

globally, based on the language

31:17

that you speak? And I don't know

31:23

the answer to that question. Oh,

31:23

I don't mean that. But I'll

31:26

probably be thinking about it for a while.

31:27

Yeah. It's strange.

31:27

Mandarin doesn't have to

31:31

interpret those Cantonese. You

31:31

know, those are the only two.

31:37

Yeah, China centric languages

31:37

that I know of. So my ignorance

31:40

is showing her faults. But

31:43

I would assume

31:45

no, I don't know how

31:45

similar they are. They have

31:49

the same because I based

31:49

on mostly nothing. Like, I would

31:58

be assuming that they have like

31:58

the same base. Language, right?

32:01

Like English is not a great

32:01

example. But right, like

32:08

Italian, French Romance

32:08

languages, right, like Latin

32:13

based languages. Right, like,

32:13

you can kind of understand what

32:18

people are saying, if you speak

32:18

one of the three. since English

32:26

is mostly dramatic, our rules

32:26

make no sense. But

32:32

language is so completely fucked up.

32:35

Right, like we got a

32:35

little bit of German, and we got

32:39

a little bit of French and we

32:39

got a little bit of Anglo Saxon

32:43

by.

32:45

And none of it makes sense.

32:47

No, none.

32:48

Chinese listeners. Send

32:48

us an email to credit us on that

32:53

place. Yeah. Our is kidneys.

32:53

generalists as well are now so

33:02

thank you.

33:04

But and then I would

33:04

kind of wonder if there are

33:08

other languages in that part of

33:08

the world that are also you

33:16

don't assign gender in the same

33:16

way right, like Korean or Thai?

33:22

I would hope so. I

33:22

would hope so.

33:26

I know some people I

33:26

could ask about this, but Hmong

33:29

might be another one. Hmong. Oh,

33:29

yeah. So, um, we're just going

33:38

all over the dinner episode

33:38

today. So the Hmong people

33:45

originally lived in Thailand

33:45

that helped the United not

33:50

Thailand. I'm sorry, Vietnam.

33:50

helped the United States during

33:54

the Vietnam War. We're then we

33:54

are super good at doing this and

34:01

the US just ditching the people

34:01

that help us when the war is

34:05

over. We go back home, which is

34:05

totally what happened to the

34:08

Hmong. There's a lot of people

34:08

in like the Twin Cities

34:18

Minnesota took in a lot of Hmong

34:18

refugees. So, almost everybody

34:24

that I Yeah, so like, kind of

34:24

sent to camps in Laos, uh, post

34:33

Vietnam War, but a lot of Hmong

34:33

folks that I know were born in

34:39

refugee camps in Laos, and came

34:39

to the US as refugees. But

34:45

Canada culture is just just

34:45

beautiful and amazing. And this

34:55

is totally outside of language,

34:55

but I've been doing a lot of

34:59

like crafting stuff lately.

34:59

Like, if you need something to

35:02

do with your hands, right, like,

35:02

crocheting is a good thing to

35:07

do. But they do a lot of like

35:07

textile storytelling. So like

35:17

quilts that, like tell the story

35:17

or their family over generations

35:20

and things like that, like, are

35:20

very amazing people and culture

35:26

that we could have gotten a lot

35:26

more debt to help. Yeah,

35:34

Americans. I mean, huh? Yeah, we

35:34

could I don't know if I want to

35:42

talk about Gaza, but probably

35:42

not.

35:45

Yeah, that's probably like, can of worms that we want to open? But,

35:48

um, but yeah, I would be

35:48

like with the language piece. I

35:52

would be curious if I, if the

35:52

language is spoken in that part

35:56

of the world.

36:01

Asian listeners, yeah. Help us out here.

36:03

Yeah. So let us know.

36:06

We're curious. So how

36:06

about your basic white checks?

36:11

Yes, please. Also, just

36:11

tell us to Google, which is

36:16

probably what I'll be.

36:17

It's what we probably

36:17

shouldn't be doing. Yeah. It's

36:20

just like, when people ask trans

36:20

people and stuff just fucking

36:23

google it.

36:25

Right? Right. And I

36:25

know. My go to, as always, like,

36:34

indicate to me that you have

36:34

done some work and say, Hey, I

36:38

read this thing. And I was

36:38

really confused by this piece of

36:41

it. Okay. I'm happy to explain

36:41

that piece of it to you if you

36:47

have put some like made an

36:47

attempt.

36:54

That's why well,

36:54

Americans traveled to other

36:56

countries. Yeah. If we at least

36:56

attempt, you know, to learn the

37:01

language and speak it. It goes a

37:01

long way. You know, it

37:04

does. Yes, it does.

37:08

Because Americans,

37:08

you're winning, winning. France.

37:13

You speak French? Because it's

37:13

France. Right. Alright, you

37:19

know, at least try your best

37:23

attempt.

37:29

So, back to the gender

37:29

thing. Yeah. A more crude thing

37:35

that has really come up is how

37:35

come the word ball has been

37:40

attributed with strength in

37:40

masculinity and power in the

37:46

word pussy has been attributed

37:46

with weakness and fragility.

37:51

When in actuality, balls are the

37:51

most sensitive things that can't

37:56

hold up any pressure and push.

37:56

Take a fucking pounding. How did

38:02

that happen? Rhyming? Oh, yeah,

38:06

just go around with some

38:06

like, good old fashioned male

38:09

fertility. Yeah, on that one.

38:09

Yeah.

38:16

Just popped in my head. Sorry.

38:18

I mean, well, no, but I mean, for real, right. Like at the beginning of the episode,

38:20

you were talking about dilation,

38:23

right? And just casually laying

38:23

there dilating and blocking

38:31

people. Well, I have not had

38:31

that. The experience of having

38:39

to dilate following surgery. I

38:39

have given birth to three

38:43

children, vaginally, and so

38:43

like, dilation is also part of

38:47

my lived experience in a

38:47

completely different fashion.

38:53

And that sucks.

38:54

It's it's different.

38:58

But also like, Yeah,

38:58

well, you're just because kind

39:04

of you're just hanging around.

39:04

Yeah. Wait, your body?

39:10

I think usually, for

39:10

the for the, for the viewers,

39:14

the listeners aren't going to be

39:14

able to do anything. So keep

39:17

them coming in for a second like

39:17

look at the visual aid.

39:19

All right. All right. We

39:19

love a good visual here on

39:23

transcending humanity. But yeah,

39:23

like would you were I can't

39:31

obviously speak to the surgical

39:31

piece but, um, you know, when

39:36

you're waiting for your cervix

39:36

to dilate enough for a baby to

39:42

actually come out. For some

39:42

people, it's pretty quick. For

39:49

me, we're talking days. So, but

39:49

like you still got a deuced

40:00

Have, right like you're not

40:00

going to not eat or

40:11

you know, like not go to the

40:11

bathroom or take a why? Because

40:16

in the case of a birth right

40:16

like walking, just speed it up.

40:22

So there you are. You're just

40:22

doing the thing. Hanging out

40:28

blocking haters making a

40:28

sandwich open up enough to I

40:38

don't know if you're if you're

40:38

hungry and tired a PBN che is

40:43

usually a pretty safe and easy

40:43

bet.

40:47

It has, it has your

40:47

protein, it has your sugar and

40:49

your carbs and everything.

40:49

Right, um, I wanted to do a

40:54

visual aid for the listeners or

40:54

listeners not gonna be able to

40:57

see this, they're gonna be like,

40:57

listeners, just watch YouTube

40:59

channel, and hit the subscribe

40:59

button while you're at it.

41:03

Right, right, because we

41:03

really we, the more subscribers

41:06

we do, we monetize.

41:08

But dilation for trans

41:08

women is very similar how it is

41:13

for sis women, where post op,

41:13

any hole in your body wants to

41:21

close up, right. And when you

41:21

get a veteran plasti you have a

41:27

shiny, fresh new hall, and you

41:27

don't want it to close up. So

41:32

they give you a bag full of for

41:32

dilators there's small, and then

41:37

medium, medium and large. And

41:37

just like waving these things

41:42

around, this is gonna get us

41:42

demonetized overnight monetized

41:45

anyways.

41:47

Right? No, YouTube,

41:47

those aren't dildos

41:51

medical tools. So but

41:51

so you have two three times a

41:59

day for 2020 minutes at a time.

41:59

I'm not gonna I haven't missed

42:03

one yet. But they're not always

42:03

20 minutes. you loop the singer,

42:08

you lay down, you live this

42:08

thing up, and you just push it

42:12

on in there. And you have to

42:12

keep pushing for me, I have to

42:17

get to the second dot here. So

42:17

that's just barely showing. And

42:22

right now I have to do two

42:22

different sizes. There's like

42:26

the small medium, and then the

42:26

medium large. So I start with

42:30

this for five minutes and then

42:30

switch to this. That's what

42:34

dilating is. So when I'm talking

42:34

about dilating and mutilated

42:37

sticking these up inside me, so

42:37

these are my little friends.

42:41

Hello, friends. This one is the

42:41

blue bomber. This one's the

42:46

Grinch. That my little purple

42:46

ones, my pussy, purple pissy

42:50

poker, then there's a big

42:50

there's a big orange one, which

42:55

I just called a no way with

42:55

this. No way. Is that going in

42:57

me? So?

43:02

That's I mean, but for

43:02

real, right. Like back to your

43:07

question. Usually, it comes down

43:07

to the patriarchy, right? And I

43:12

know that that is right. Like,

43:12

people roll their eyes and be

43:18

like, Yeah, whatever the

43:18

patriarchy. But when you have an

43:23

entire social system that is set

43:23

up. For males to dominate, you

43:33

have a whole language then set

43:33

up to support that cultural

43:39

notion. And so even though we

43:39

all have men in our lives who

43:52

are not tools, there, they're

43:52

actual decent human beings who

43:57

aren't bent on domination. It's

43:57

a lot of work for all of us to

44:07

get rid of that notion, when the

44:07

language that we have all been

44:13

speaking since we can speak. Has

44:13

that baked into it?

44:21

It does. It does. It's

44:21

just interesting to think about,

44:28

it's everywhere. And I think for

44:28

the vast majority of the time,

44:34

we don't even realize it. So

44:34

it's it's interesting to step

44:41

back and look at the building

44:41

blocks of language and how it's

44:46

also changing. And it's changing

44:46

so rapidly to the dawn of the

44:54

internet, really, and the

44:54

invention of memes, but It's not

45:01

what's going to be like in 1020

45:01

years, you know, so hopefully,

45:05

it'll be a little bit more

45:05

neutral. But I don't know, the,

45:14

the patriarchy isn't gonna go

45:14

down without a fight that much

45:17

so.

45:18

Right. Right. Well, I

45:18

mean, cuz that's I mean, I think

45:26

that we often think about, like

45:26

patriarchy the same way that

45:29

white people think about racism,

45:29

that it's like individual people

45:34

that have shitty attitudes? In

45:34

some ways, yes. But also, we're

45:44

talking about dismantling an

45:44

entire socialist system and

45:47

building a new one. Yeah. When

45:47

like, I mean, right, then you're

45:52

kind of going into well, like,

45:52

yeah, the guy that invented a

45:56

vehicle, or like the first guy

45:56

that invented a car, spent most

46:01

of his life driving a horse and

46:01

buggy. The person who invented

46:05

electric lights spent most of

46:05

their life using candles, right?

46:11

Like, you've got to use what you

46:11

have, while you try to improve

46:16

it.

46:17

Transcend, that. It's

46:17

not going to,

46:23

like it's true. Like,

46:23

but you have to be mindful,

46:27

right, that you are working to

46:27

improve what is existing and

46:32

acknowledge what exists needs

46:32

improving.

46:35

Yeah. And as you said,

46:35

the kids are the kids all right.

46:40

I, I've seen other people talk

46:40

about Gen alpha, but they're

46:45

gonna come in and just fucking

46:45

burn shut down. And you know

46:47

what? Good, it needs to be

46:47

burned down. So

46:52

or, I was, I think this

46:52

is not super apparent, I think

46:56

when I'm like, in public life,

46:56

but, um, I am by nature, a

47:03

pretty angry person. And I have

47:03

a hard time, like, controlling

47:08

my temper and all of that. My,

47:08

my poor little son, youth five.

47:18

I was having, not that long ago

47:18

was having a mom moment where I

47:21

kind of just went to deal with

47:21

you did not deserve that. Then

47:31

we talked about it afterwards.

47:31

But immediately, after I

47:37

completely lost my mind, my poor

47:37

little guy. He started to cry,

47:44

but she felt comfortable doing

47:44

which by five. We know, right?

47:51

Like a lot of us know the data.

47:51

So he felt comfortable crying.

47:56

He told me that he was sad and

47:56

angry, and a little bit scared

48:02

that I had lost it. Good

48:02

feelings, right? Valid feelings

48:08

based on how I had acted. Yeah.

48:08

But here we have a little boy,

48:15

who is right, like right now

48:15

being socialized as a boy in our

48:18

society, who could immediately

48:18

name what he was feeling.

48:23

Here many adults, man that can't do that.

48:26

So like The Kids Are All

48:26

Right, but I'm hoping that some

48:31

of it is also maybe the parents

48:31

are doing okay.

48:37

too. Two, because, like

48:37

our generation, you and I are

48:43

close in age, right? You're in

48:43

your mid 30s. Yeah, I think I'm

48:46

42. So we're close enough. And

48:46

they were both millennials. So

48:50

we were raised by Boomers, Gen Z

48:50

are raised by Gen X. So Gen Z

48:56

are pretty cool. Because Gen X

48:56

are pretty cool. Yeah, that is

48:59

one of the Elseworlds we were

48:59

all sorts of fucked because we

49:02

were raised by boomers. And our

49:02

kids are Gen alpha with a couple

49:09

Gen Z, but you know, mainly Gen

49:09

alpha, mostly Alpha. Yeah. Yeah.

49:13

A lot of us. I know myself

49:13

included. And sounds like you

49:18

have generational trauma, that,

49:18

you know, certainly raising kids

49:24

throughout our lives like I was

49:24

I had the shippi anatomy as a

49:26

kid. I was physically sexually

49:26

and emotionally abused growing

49:30

up. And it is up to us to break

49:30

that. And I think a lot of

49:38

millennials grew up in a similar

49:38

situation, and they're choosing

49:43

to break that trauma and start

49:43

fresh. And it's hard. I mean, I

49:49

have a I have a three and a half

49:49

year old, who I believe is

49:53

neurodivergent as well as me,

49:53

and I struggle like I struggled

50:00

big time raising him. But I've

50:00

never raised a hand to him, I

50:05

very rarely raise my voice.

50:05

Because I can't put that forth

50:12

into another generation. And

50:12

people, like, you'll hear people

50:17

say, well, that's just gonna

50:17

make your kids soft. No, it's

50:20

not. It's making your kids

50:20

compassionate. And that has

50:27

nothing to do with being soft.

50:27

It means that they're aware of

50:31

things, and especially more

50:31

aware of their feelings. Right.

50:35

And

50:35

I think there's so much

50:35

power, right in empathy for

50:43

others, that is not based in

50:43

trauma. Right, like I had a

50:51

relatively healthy upbringing,

50:51

but some mental health

50:55

challenges of the family. So I'm

50:55

really watching now I'm just

51:05

tired. And so I'm not really

51:05

good at it anymore, because I'm

51:07

tired. But I'm really good at

51:07

like, walking on eggshells and

51:14

anticipating how other people

51:14

are feeling. Yeah. Because I had

51:18

way too many of those

51:18

experiences of just weight loss.

51:25

Right, that I'm pretty good at

51:25

anticipating people's feelings.

51:32

But that comes from a place of

51:32

trauma. And not always from a

51:38

place of love.

51:39

Yeah. Yeah. I hear you

51:39

that, like, if you asked my kids

51:44

or their mom, I say sorry,

51:44

constantly. Because throughout

51:49

growing up and having been

51:49

involved in my family's business

51:53

and stuff until my late 30s.

51:53

Like, I always think that people

51:59

are mad at me, because I was

51:59

usually someone, some family

52:03

member was on my case about

52:03

something or another. So no, I'm

52:07

always just like, sorry, sorry.

52:07

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

52:09

I'm sorry. Right. Like

52:10

sorry, for existing. I'm

52:10

just trying to make a living.

52:15

Yeah, definitely. So

52:15

you can sort of pick up your

52:20

kids, right?

52:23

Just do your best.

52:26

Yeah. That's

52:31

really all we could do.

52:32

Yeah. I listened to a

52:32

podcast called The casual

52:35

criminalist. If you don't listen

52:35

to it, you should Simon Whistler

52:37

is awesome. But a recurring

52:37

theme on it, of serial killers

52:44

on a show is almost every single

52:44

one was brought up in an

52:49

extremely abusive home. So

52:49

there's a there's nurture and

52:54

nature involved in that kind of

52:54

shit. So you kind of have to

52:57

wonder if some of those people

52:57

were raised in homes that

53:00

actually cared about them? How

53:00

things would be different.

53:04

Yeah. I think that I am

53:04

out of steam. Yeah.

53:09

So it's

53:11

so maybe just we'll give

53:11

another reminder that if you

53:16

want to support the show, yes.

53:16

I'm a free way to do that is to

53:21

subscribe to YouTube. Share.

53:21

Share it, Episode, all that send

53:26

us an email,

53:27

rate us on.

53:30

Wherever you rate your podcast.

53:31

Yeah, Apple Music and

53:31

Spotify. I think the ones that

53:34

lets you do that. Yeah.

53:37

And if you have some

53:37

money, you can support us on

53:40

Patreon or Buzzsprout.

53:43

Mohsen easy. And it

53:43

just goes to just make things

53:50

smoother around here. So yeah,

53:50

hey.

53:56

Capitalism is another

53:56

construct of the patriarchy. And

54:01

there's one that we're not going

54:01

to be decoupling anytime soon.

54:04

So no need to make a living.

54:07

Yeah, yeah. We don't

54:07

want to especially someone being

54:11

unemployed, don't you start

54:11

barking being unemployed and I'm

54:17

trying to find trying to find

54:17

employer so I got to kind of

54:20

keep my nose Brown for now. So

54:20

thank you again, everyone for

54:28

listening. We appreciate you

54:28

know, I hate that phrase. Like

54:33

when people come and say, I

54:33

appreciate you. Thank you. We

54:37

love you for being for for

54:37

supporting us and for being

54:40

awesome people. I can we will be

54:40

back in two weeks, no longer

54:45

every week. Per usual, I have no

54:45

idea what we're going to be

54:51

talking about. So yeah. Thank

54:51

you for listening. Stay tuned.

54:56

Stay tuned. Bye bye.

55:00

Okay