Now, here on this ragged patch of earth called the Draft Lobby, hordes face obliteration.

A-ooh!

Just there the barbarians huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers -- knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of the 12.

A-ooh!

The enemy outnumber us a paltry 11 to 1; good odds for any Greek. This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny, and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine.

Give thanks, men, to the Ellwood Fantasy Football League, and the brave 12.

A-ooh! A-ooh! A-ooh!

To victory.

It's the greatest fantasy football league ...