Welcome to the scandalous festival diaries of TPIP! So, after the epicness of Groovin The Moo hit the Sunny Coast in May, the girls couldn't wait to unleash their festival wisdom. Now, if you haven't experienced the madness firsthand, let me paint you a picture of what a festival day entails:

You wake up feeling like a zombie because surviving 2023 is harder than a calculus test on a rollercoaster. You load up on carbs like there's no tomorrow, kick-starting your day with a drink at the ungodly hour of 7am. Then comes the thrilling task of securing your ride to the festival grounds. Will it be an Uber, a taxi, or sweet-talking your bestie's mum into becoming your personal chauffeur? The struggle is real, my friend.

Finally, you arrive at the festival gates, only to be greeted by a line that makes the Great Wall of China look like a garden fence. In that moment, you contemplate turning around and binge-watching dog videos in your comfy PJs. But fear not! This is the time to cozy up to the seccys (security guards) like they're your long-lost BFFs. These folks hold the key to your festival destiny. You're in! Now, what's next? Ah, the sacred ritual of queuing for an eternity just to get your hands on a drink. It's a test of endurance, patience, and bladder control. And when you finally reach the front, they limit you to two drinks at a mere $27.40 each. The day turns into a sweaty dance fest, surrounded by shirtless, MDMA-fuelled men, turning your drink into a mixed cocktail of bodily fluids. Toilet lines become a socialising hub, and forget about contacting anyone on your phone because, surprise, there's about as much signal as a carrier pigeon with a broken wing.

And just like that, the night is over, leaving you with memories and a lingering sense of impending regret. But fret not, my fearless fest-goer, for Mads and Edie are here to equip you with the ultimate survival tips. From hitching a ride on someone's shoulders when your legs give up to mastering the art of peeing in a cup to avoid the eternal toilet queues, they've got your back (and bladder) covered.

After countless giggles about festival antics, the girls delve into the Iconic moments and people, other than Mads and Edie of course. Picture Kendall Jenner slicing cucumber, Will Smith slapping the crap out of Chris Rock, and the enigmatic force that is Britney Spears (mic drop).

So, my friend, fasten your seatbelt because this is your favourite day every fortnight, filled with laughter, madness, and the occasional absurdity!

TWO PEAS IN A PUB

IG |  @twopeasinapub.pod

EMAIL | [email protected]

EDIE

IG | @ediewatson

MADDISON

IG | @_maddisonm

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