0:01

You're listening to Two Pints with Will and

0:03

Ralph, the Swift Half. Do you

0:05

have any stories about that? I

0:07

spend a bit of time in Birmingham. I

0:10

do stuff for Libby Mae's charity here where I

0:12

go and sing a song. What

0:15

do you sing, Will? I

0:18

might do Mustangs Sally, but I do do other songs

0:20

as well. OK, now, do you do Mustangs Sally twice

0:22

for a tenner? Just once. Big

0:24

Perises as in a ribbon. I've actually

0:26

got some fun facts, Will's... Will's Fun Facts,

0:28

let's hear them. It's obviously Birmingham's got more

0:30

canals than Venice. Did you know

0:32

that? Really? I didn't know that. I've heard a

0:35

few canal fans like that. We're canals! And

0:38

more dead bodies. We're on the map. More dead bodies in

0:40

them canals than any other one. And

0:43

also, like you said, more

0:45

strip clubs in Birmingham than any other

0:47

city in the UK. I found this

0:49

weird. Right. The world's one

0:51

and only 90... 90

0:54

penguin lives there in Brazil. Is

0:58

that true? What the

1:00

fuck is the knighted penguin doing there, Eddie? Why is

1:02

he knighted? Does anyone know why he's knighted? He

1:07

fought off the Norwegian army. On his

1:10

own? On his Jack Jones. Why does he

1:12

fucking happy feet get to fuck up? I

1:17

fucking dancing penguin, I'm not going over there. I've

1:20

got Will's Fun Facts. Will's Fun Facts. Nothing and Fun Facts.

1:22

Come on, what have you got? Well, you know, I bought

1:24

Mummy a phone, but it's one of them things... I definitely

1:26

thought you'd have some stories about who's, as I feel like

1:29

you're holding it back. Hey, did you know... Robby

1:31

Knott's from here. Oh my God, no

1:33

shit. Fucking unbelievable. Oh, wow, that is

1:35

fucking amazing. Unbelievable. Wow, gosh. And then

1:37

there's a football fact as well that

1:40

Knott's... Is it... Yeah,

1:42

Knott's County. The oldest... Hey,

1:45

boy! Hey, boy! Hello, the

1:47

wheel fell off. There you go. That's

1:50

a Knott's County song for you. Well, Knott's County is the oldest league

1:52

football team in the world. That's true. All the

1:54

fans are here. All

1:57

the fans are here, he said. Let's fucking go. Kick

2:00

with all that abeir! Ooh! See,

2:02

knots counting knots forest are only 750... Not

2:06

chicken! Ooh, sorry! Sorry,

2:08

not chicken forest, sorry! Okay, no.

2:11

There's nearly a siege route. Come on.

2:15

We call it one pipe with will because I don't

2:17

want any fucking pipe with it anymore. You've

2:19

moved yourself right up again. It's only 750 feet apart. Yep.

2:23

And also, traffic light was invented here.

2:26

Is that? Did you know that? Oh,

2:28

give me your finally car! He's gone!

2:33

Cocky bollocks! From Manchester fact. Listen, listen, this

2:35

will get you... You can take this home

2:37

and tell people that you've learnt something tonight.

2:40

Did you know... Oasis

2:43

is from Manchester. You're a dickhead. What

2:47

a... Hey, they are. What a dickhead. Eh? Is

2:49

that it? Is that your phone fact? On the

2:51

happy Mondays. Yeah. And, eh,

2:54

and... And... There's

2:57

another one. Did you know...

3:00

that the biggest football club in

3:02

the world is from Manchester? Manchester United.

3:07

Apparently... Apparently there's another one, but

3:09

fuck knows what they've got. Shite

3:12

at the moment, aren't we? And this is a

3:14

true phone fact. I read this today that the

3:16

word Mancunian... Oh, yeah. ...means... ...hills

3:18

that look like tits. I've

3:22

left you! I was like... I was like...

3:25

Hills that look like... So, basically... Anglo-Saxon words. We're

3:27

all a bunch of tits, basically. Yeah,

3:30

I've got a couple of fun facts here.

3:32

Warsaw was home to the

3:34

leather industry. Is that right? You

3:36

all know that. Many locals are

3:39

still wearing leather trousers. And

3:41

leather vests! Leather

3:44

vests? They said, I've only got a lot of leather caps on tonight.

3:47

Yes! I didn't make an underwear. Eh...

3:51

What? And...

3:53

Did you say thongs? Leather

3:55

thongs. Oh, could you imagine the smell? Eh... Yeah, and,

3:57

er... Obviously, I did a few... I did a so...

4:00

because usually I do Will's Fun Facts,

4:02

right, and then I Google Warrington, fuck

4:04

all. No facts. No facts, nothing. There's

4:07

more facts about new Brighton, I'll be honest. I

4:10

did find some bits though, because I thought, you know, it's

4:12

interesting when you're in a place to have a look. This

4:15

is quite interesting. It says, Warrington

4:18

last week was named the best

4:20

place for employment in the country. Oh, that's a

4:22

good thing. That's a good fact. And there's the

4:24

building a new talent centre and all that. Okay.

4:27

That's it. Good, good. I've

4:30

got a few famous people from here, so obviously you

4:32

probably all know this, but, you

4:35

know, Kerry Katona. Wait,

4:38

start at the top and bring it down.

4:43

Can I just say, by the way, can I just

4:46

say, we were in South End,

4:48

right down on the South Coast. Right down

4:50

on the South Coast. Now, Will

4:52

was reading his Fun Facts, and Will

4:55

doesn't read very well because he's blind. And

4:59

he refuses to put his glasses on because he's also vain.

5:04

And he also doesn't read very well because

5:06

he can't read. So the

5:09

collection of these three things, man, that's

5:11

where he goes. Hey, Ross,

5:13

South End has the longest pier

5:15

in the country. It does. I

5:18

was like, oh, wow, interesting fact. And then he

5:20

goes, it's 2,913 kilometres

5:22

long. I

5:25

thought it sounded long. I

5:28

went, fucking hell, Will! I

5:30

went, no, it's not. And in front of everybody goes,

5:32

yes, it is. Fucking look, I'm

5:34

not stupid. And

5:36

it's not as long as the entire East Coast of America,

5:39

Will. And then I read

5:41

it and I went, 2.913 kilometres long. What

5:43

I thought about it. So just think all of his

5:45

facts with a pinch of salt. What I thought about

5:47

it, I thought, jeez, you should be naked, wouldn't you?

5:52

I mean, that is a long pier. Six

5:54

months, walking my fucking crew. Never

5:56

a good year to go. It's probably not

5:59

great. Stretches

6:02

about halfway across that one tree. You know

6:05

the other hand, you're an amen.