El Greco returns from L.A. with an update on his new big gay musical. Monty explains the dysfunctional sex life he had with his ex-wife. One of El Greco’s scorned lovers slashes his tires three times in as many weeks, leading El Greco to explain the legal minutiae of restraining orders. But wait, there’s more:

• How to be a gentleman stalker
• The link between El Greco’s Greek heritage and his impulse control problems
• Monty’s trip to the swishy optometrist

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